Actions

Work Header

That Don't Impress Me Much

Summary:

Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave my head

Tony drags the Avengers to karaoke. Natasha decides to try and make a point.

Notes:

My first Steve/Natasha (ish) fic. Clintasha is still my OTP but I accept it's not canon and think Steve/Natasha should be if I can't have my OTP. IS there such thing as "second place TP"?

Also totally un-beta'd. Please let me know if you see any glaring mistakes. I literally just typed this up in 10 mins!

Work Text:

Steve sighed and cursed he’s super serum intolerance to alcohol. It had been Tony’s idea to actually leave the Tower and venture out into the night in search of this little karaoke bar he once dragged Rhodey to.  Steve had tried to point out that there was a theatre room at the Tower and surely Jarvis could hook something up for them but no, Tony wanted to go out.

 

It took 1 shot before Tony was up at the microphone belting out a extremely enthusiastic if not slightly off tune rendition of “Highway to Hell”

 

It took 2 shots before Clint was up at the microphone stunning the crowd with a performance of “Don’t Stop Believin’” that had Tony’s jaw hanging wide open in shock.

 

It took 3 shots before Natasha sauntered her way to the stage, selecting her song with careful purpose…

 

The first few seconds of the song boomed out from the stage. Clint chuckled and then frowned.

 

“She’s never going to let it go,” he muttered under his breath

 

Steve was about to ask him what he meant when he was distracting by Natasha’s raspy voice in a way he hadn’t heard it before.

 

I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart

But you've got being right down to an art

You think you're a genius-you drive me up the wall

You're a regular original, a know-it-all

 

She pointed out into the crowd and both Bruce and Tony looked at each other.

 

“She’s totally talking about you man,” Tony yelled pointing to Bruce.

 

Natasha sighed and changed her next lyrics to make her point abundantly clear.

 

Oh-oo-oh, you both think you're special

Oh-oo-oh, you both think you're something else

 

“HA! Wait…” retorted Bruce

 

Okay, so you're a rocket scientist

That don't impress me much

So you got the brain but have you got the touch

Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night

That don't impress me much

 

Next Natasha locked eyes with Thor and grinned.

 

I never knew a guy who carried a mirror in his pocket

And a comb up his sleeve-just in case

And all that extra hold gel in your hair oughtta lock it

'Cause Heaven forbid it should fall outta place

 

“Well it would be dangerous in battle to have....” Thor started to protest.

 

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else

Okay, so you're Brad Pitt

That don't impress me much

So you got the looks but have you got the touch

Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night

That don't impress me much

 

Clint had a look on his face like he knew he was up next.

 

You're one of those guys who likes to shine his machine

You make me take off my shoes before you let me get in

I can't believe you kiss your car good night

C'mon baby tell me-you must be jokin', right!

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else

Okay, so you've got a car

That don't impress me much

So you got the moves but have you got the touch

Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night

 

“One time! One time I wouldn’t let her eat that stupid flakey pastry crap in the car! One time!” argued Clint

 

That don't impress me much

You think you're cool but have you got the touch

Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright

But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night

That don't impress me much

 

Natasha finished up to thunderous applause and began to make her way back to their table.

 

Steve was slightly shocked; he had survived Natasha’s lyrical dressing down. Could this mean he DID impress her?

 

Clint clapped an arm around his shoulders.

 

“You hurt her and no amount of super duper solider serum will save you from me.”

 

“Who is Brad Pitt?” asked Thor.