Work Text:
One thing Miranda Priestly would never admit to was difficulty texting. She had all the latest software, and sometimes it helped admirably.
Glancing down at her cell after it chimed, she was pleased to see the name lighting up her screen. She picked up her cell and opened her messaging app.
Andrea Sachs
Do I look fat in this?
There was a picture, of her Andréa, in a low-cut, red dress, with smoky eyes gazing up at her challengingly and a bright, dimpled smile.
No, she did not look fat. In fact, she had never beheld such perfection.
Responding quickly, adding an emphasis to her single-word reply, she clicked send without thinking, only to stare down at the screen in abject horror.
Miranda Priestly
Mooo!
There were times, where despite having the latest and greatest software, she despaired.
Like now.
Her mind screamed DANGER. She knew she was in for it.
"Fucking autocorrect!"
Before she could explain the mishap, her cell chimed with an incoming text and closing her eyes, she willed herself to have the courage to look at the message. Opening her eyes, she glanced at the screen.
Andrea Sachs
OMG! Miranda! Seriously, even if I
look hideous, did you have to
channel your inner Charlton?
Miranda couldn't help but let out an inelegant snort. It was likely she would have some serious grovelling to do to make things right. She began to type quickly, hoping to explain and gain Andréa's forgiveness. She hit send and then re-read her response, her hand covering her mouth to hide her disbelief.
Miranda Priestly
This auto cucumber is to blame, darling.
I kobe you so much. You look stunning.
I can't wait to see your big beautiful
nipples later.
NO! This couldn't be happening, not now. She began to type furiously, her thumbs skimming over the small keyboard.
Miranda Priestly
Jesus Crust! This auto cat rectal!
I swear, on all that is scared, I
meant dimples, NOT nipples.
Growling, she took her time to write the next message, typing slowly in the hope she could finally create a legible response. She hit send.
Miranda Priestly
GOD DONUT! THIS DEMON BOX
HATES ME! I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU!
She supposed it could be worse. God donut was close to the God damnit she wanted to write.
A message arrived quickly and she sighed in relief as she read the response.
Andrea Sachs
OMG, I'm farting so hard I'm crying
and have smudged my mascara. Duck!
I love you too. So much! Give me half
an hour and I'll see you at that little
Mexican place you kobe so much.
And later, if you're good, I might even
let you see my nipples. :P
Miranda smiled at the screen and tapped out her reply.
Miranda Priestly
That's good! Chicken vaginas sound
amazing. I'm growing horny.
Placing her cell down, Miranda threw her glasses on her desk, sat back in her chair and smiled.
Life was good.
Her cell chiming once more had her glancing down at the screen and a small smirk appeared at the words.
Andrea Sachs
Chicken vaginas? Horny?
Should I be worried?
Picking her cell up once again, she replied with four words, not checking it before hitting send.
Miranda Priestly
Ducking autocorrect strokes again!