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The truth was, Seol had thought Oh Yoona was a fool.
Still, she had been a little charmed. By the girl who had unceremoniously swiped beer off all her money and wasn’t afraid to butt heads with her or trail Jooin like a lost, naive puppy. All bark, no bite. By the girl who had looked so collected and mature at Jooin’s wedding, who had moved on before Seol ever did.
Yoona was a fool, one who had been beaten and kicked around by the world that hated people like them. Right now, in the corner of Seol’s vision, she glanced nervously around as they walked side-by-side, bumping hands.
Sunday afternoon—the streets filled with pedestrians. A mild, clear sky. Yoona’s bare arm brushing hers. The hem of her dress mingling with Seol’s cardigan. She smelled nice.
The thought returned: Oh Yoona was a fool. But then again, Seol was the one who hadn’t been able to hide her tears at Jooin’s wedding, so really, out of the two of them, who was the real fool? Perhaps they could be fools together.
She snorted at that. Fools together—when had she ever had such cheesy thoughts?
Yoona gave her that signature cool-headed glare. “What?”
“Huh? Nothing.”
“You were snorting at me.”
“Was I?”
“You—“
“It was nothing.” Seol took her hand for real this time, and Yoona flushed. But she didn’t let go; instead, her fingers curled tighter around Seol’s. Brave girl.
She had her hair down again today, with a small braid lacing across it, and carefully smoothened strands swung over her shoulder as she walked. Pretty. Her hand was soft and warm and fit perfectly in Seol’s. She kind of wanted to play with those slender fingers instead of making it to the cafe.
I want someone who can help me escape from reality, Seol had told her. But the two of them already faced reality together at that wedding.
She thought back to the dirty street pressed beneath her palms, wet spots blooming on dry cement—more importantly, through her blurry vision, the presence of a warm hand on her back.
She remembered, later, the texts they shot back and forth. Falling into a habit of dragging out banters and hiding their grins. Yoona’s face blazing red as she blurted out her nonsense and love.
Seol remembered, when she listened to those stumbling words, how something in her own chest had flown, just a little.
.
And she remembered waiting beneath that sunset. The sky sank lower like her heart, and people’s footsteps dwindled—all those unlonely people leaving Seol behind. She herself had told Oh Yoona that she hated wasting her time, hated insecure decisions. And yet, her feet remained rooted in the ground.
Hell, she had really been charmed.
It would always burrow deep into the back of her mind: Seol didn’t know when she was going to get her heart broken again. She told herself that was just the way things were, and yet…
Well, it didn’t matter. She was finally facing reality, wasn’t she?
In the sunset, in the dark, in the empty space that everyone had left, a figure appeared in the distance. Yoona was tearful and lovely and far too late—so late that she shouldn’t deserve another chance. But the distance between them still closed; Yoona still closed that distance.
And then Yoona was kneeling at her knees, weeping. And then Seol could only feel the weight of another’s head in her lap, the weight of a girl, a lover. She remained there with that warm weight, with her heavy heart, lonely and loved all at once.
It turned out Seol had been the stupid one. Well, that was okay.
Fools together. What a thought.
.
The other truth was that Seol hadn’t gone steady like this for a while. Well, she didn’t like playing around—she knew what she wanted, so she had a string of relationships that ended quickly. Most people (see: her exes) would say that it was her fault.
But she couldn’t help it. It was always when she talked about a house, kids even. A future. Her partner, sitting across from her with bleached ends or blue makeup or double piercings, would just fall silent or laugh nervously without meeting her eyes.
Why would you talk about that, Seol? You know… it’s impossible. Or they would tell her she was too brash about it. What was wrong with talking past the shallow motions of dating, huh? What was wrong with even considering a future? Did she not have one just because she dated other women?
It didn’t have to be a possible reality. She just wanted to have a dream, a bit of a vision. If only someone shared it with her.
The fruit-focused cafe that Yoona and she were sitting at was mildly lively since it was trendy with young adults. Since the teal-tinted windows were wide, plenty of daylight fell across their napkins. The scent of mini desserts wafted through Seol’s nose. It was a little routine of theirs now, trying a new food place after a movie. Just to hang out and talk.
They had gotten their orders a while ago. Now they were sitting at the small, round table in the middle of the cafe, hands a few breadths apart. Yoona looked like she wanted to find a reason to touch it.
Still, as they continued sipping their drinks, Seol remained silent, and though Yoona didn’t seem to mind, she finally spoke up.
“Hey…”
“Hm?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
Yoona raised a brow.
“Just thinking of when we met.”
“Oh, yeah. Real romantic, wasn’t it?” Yoona snickered a bit, and her little fang poked out. A pinch of red dusted her cheeks. Cute.
Seol pressed her lips together and flitted her gaze to the vibrant drink across from her before Yoona caught on. Yoona followed her expression.
“Regretting your order?”
“No, but yours does look good.”
“It’s tasty. Wanna try?” Yoona slid over her drink, and Seol finally let herself grin.
“Wow, so cool.”
Yoona’s blush returned just like that as she reached back for the cup. “Just drink your own if you’re going to tease me.”
“No, I’m so lucky to have such a thoughtful, dependable, sweet girlfriend.” Seol beat her to it, and, without hesitation, placed her lips straight over the plastic straw. She took a sip. Pink strawberry, with a hint of tanginess. Pretty good.
A bit pettily, Yoona also took Seol’s half-finished dragonfruit cup. She gave her trademark glare as she bit into Seol’s straw, but her features relaxed at the taste. Looked like they had both made good choices.
“Seriously,” she said after she was satisfied with drinking her retaliated fill, “what’s up with you?”
“Just the future. I wish you could come over more.”
Something about her tone made Yoona look more intently. Seol didn’t let that faze her.
“You know, living together like a real couple would be nice.”
As she finished her words, she watched Yoona’s neck carefully: goosebumps popped up on her pale skin. Again.
Well, whatever. She guessed she expected it. At least it wasn’t a frown or an awkward smile, but Yoona wasn’t really the type to make those half-hearted expressions, anyways.
“It would be nice to live with you.“
Seol blinked.
“…I mean, once I graduate, get a real job, of course. Can’t stay with Yoosung forever. Besides, I don’t care about household conventions, anyways. I could take of you—we can take care of each other.”
And there it was: earnestly serious. Strangely, startling mature. Dare she say—romantic.
Seol hid her mouth in her hand and watched Oh Yoona’s face bloom an inevitable tomato-red.
“Wh—I mean.” Her eyes were swirls. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. “I just—!“
“I wouldn’t mind that.”
The imprints of goosebumps remained on Yoona’s skin even as she said those words without hesitation—it really was cute. Around them, people chattered and ordered quietly. The small, calm cafe didn’t know a single thing about the two of them, but Seol had made sure her voice came out clearly.
Yoona looked at her, mouth still open, cheeks still red.
“Huh?”
“Nothing.”
Seol closed the gap again, tapped her pinkie against Yoona’s—a promise. With Yoona’s agitations and her own experiences, it wasn’t much of a grand action. But she knew that Yoona could see past her hidden, bleeding heart, so it was enough.
Right now, Seol could live a bit with having that heart bared. It was okay to be like this: a little jaded, a little braver.