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'It gets easier.' Steve had told her, and even then Wanda knew that he was lying, that he was lying to both himself and to her. Yet, the way he remained hopeful was something Wanda could not blame him for. Though she knew things would not get easier, despite the reassurances from her fellow Avengers. They all lost someone in some way, she tried to put trust in what they said, after all, they all trusted her now, too.
Or, at least she hoped they did.
Wanda expected death, not a home, not a...family, she supposed. It only made sense if she were to pay for her crimes by dying, she had done her part, she had helped the Avengers and she was ready to join Pietro. Then Vision came and saved her, she was alive.
Her brother was not.
It still didn't make sense to her, how everyone in the Avengers could be so...kind, so unfairly kind to her after she had put them through hell, after she had played with their minds, showing them their greatest fears...In Natasha's case, letting her relive her trauma by trapping her inside her own mind. The guilt continued to eat away at her, she felt sick, she felt like a monster.
When someone would look at her with a genuine smile?
Guilt.
When Tony and Clint surprised her with several boxes of different sitcom DVDs after she mentioned one time that she loved watching them a lot when she was little?
Guilt.
When Steve would insist she joins them in doing silly activities?
Guilt.
Guilt because she felt undeserving of all their kindness, maybe they forgive her, but she couldn't forgive herself, not yet.
Then there was Natasha who she seldom spoke to, Wanda couldn't blame her, she experienced the worst of Wanda's mind manipulation. The 'Red Room' Clint called it, details were spared, but it was more than enough for Wanda to feel absolutely, gut-wrenchingly sick with herself.
It was three weeks after Pietro's death when Wanda began to feel the symptoms of starvation and malnutrition, eating had deemed itself too exhausting for Wanda during her worst days and she couldn't be bothered to try and prepare herself a meal. At this point, it wasn't her intent to starve herself, not yet. If only Wanda knew how damaging this would be in the long run.
It was five weeks after Pietro's death when she started to purposely skip meals, it had been a month into living with the Avengers and they still continued to look out for her, and even then they understood that there'd be times when Wanda wouldn't be able to join them during meal times, they always assumed she'd eat once she felt better.
She didn't.
It felt almost empowering. As if she was finally in control of herself. For years, she had been used as a weapon of mass destruction by Hydra, she never once felt in control of herself and her actions. It was both a blessing and a curse to Wanda, to finally feel in control but with the price of a constant lingering pain in her stomach as it begged, desperate for any ounce of food.
She didn't care, the hunger - the physical pain distracted her from the grief of losing Pietro. Wanda opted for the easiest option for dealing with her grief.
She ran away from it, she suppressed it, she didn't show it.
Six weeks after Pietro's death, Natasha grew suspicious. The two girls kept their distance from each other, more Wanda than Natasha. It was understandable that Wanda may feel intimidated around her, she was aware of the pain and trauma she had brought back for Natasha. Natasha wanted to give it more time, though it didn't mean she never wanted to develop a friendship with Wanda.
So when she noticed that Wanda had rarely joined them during meals, she felt the need to reach out. "Wanda?"
Wanda looked surprised, almost confused. It was very rare when either of the girls approached the other, so this sudden interaction made Wanda feel rightfully nervous. "Yeah?" she finally responded after a moment of stunned silence.
"Well..." Natasha wasn't sure how to go about the topic, there was tension, uncomfortable tension between the two of them. Natasha hated it. Wanda hated the tension even more. "It's just- I haven't really seen you around. Especially during meals, I just wanna make sure you're eating well."
This surprised Wanda even more, though she tried not to let it show. Natasha was arguably the heart of the team, the glue that kept everyone together, some may think It'd be Steve, but truly, it was none other than Natasha Romanoff. With that reminder, Wanda didn't think much of her sudden concern for her well-being, surely, it was only because Natasha wanted to make sure Wanda was always at her best, so she didn't drag the team down.
"I am," It wasn't the first time Wanda lied, but this time it felt worse than before. Wanda was lying, she was lying to the people who took her in, fed her, and made sure she was safe. She felt sick again. "I- I know I haven't been joining you guys, I just find it easier to be left alone while eating right now..."
Natasha nodded, not wanting to pry. There was something more, she felt it, but she wasn't close enough with Wanda to keep asking. The uneasy feeling didn't go away, though she felt that perhaps starting today would be a good time to try and get closer to Wanda. "I understand. Would you, uh, like some tea, maybe? I know some good...delicious...teas?"
Then Wanda laughed, it felt strange, seeing the serious, calm, and composed Natasha Romanoff stumble over words. Admittedly, it was rather endearing, maybe even adorable. "That sounds lovely, Natasha."
For the first time since Bruce's disappearance, Natasha felt her heart skip a beat.
Seven weeks after Pietro's death, everyone else started to grow suspicious. Though Wanda was leaving her room more often, she still refused to join meals, she came up with every excuse she could, though it proved fruitless. Clint wouldn't leave her alone until she had eaten something. Finally, she joined them for a meal, it was pleasant, and the food was delicious, an award-winning recipe Tony had proclaimed (He made the dish himself.) She conversed with Sam and even talked to Natasha for a bit, it was a pleasant evening.
When Wanda arrived in her room, she rushed to the bathroom and forced herself to vomit out all the food. She enjoyed the food, truly, but she would not allow herself the satisfaction and happiness of eating a full, delicious meal.
Seven weeks after Pietro's death, Wanda began to purge.
Eight weeks after Pietro's death, there was noticeable weight loss. The excessive training and the occasional morning run with Natasha (Who Wanda was growing rather fond of) made her lose weight faster, though no one paid any mind, not yet. It was normal to lose weight, gain muscle mass, and whatnot when you're training with the Avengers, that's why no one said anything.
Wanda started to grow tired, exhausted, and fatigued from the rigorous training she did with the Avengers. It didn't help that she was beginning to practice with her powers as well, which exerted far more energy than physical training. Even going to the bathroom in the middle of the night became a challenging activity, she felt lightheaded and her vision constantly blurred.
She made sure to not let it show, though. When Wanda slowly fell to the floor, out of breath, lightheaded, and unable to see anything clearly, she'd brush it off as overexerting herself, it was a normal occurrence for the Avengers to get like that. Wanda had only started training with them two weeks ago after she confirmed she was in a better mental state to join them for training.
It was another lie.
The lies continued to pile on top of each other. Had she slept well? Of course, she did. That was a lie. How was she feeling? Better, they were right, it does get easier with time! Another lie. Wanda felt horribly guilty afterward, lying right to their faces, especially when they express their concern for her so often. Especially Natasha, who often came by her room with a cup of tea, it was sweet, and Wanda felt undeserving of that kindness.
Wanda felt like she didn't deserve anything.
Nine weeks after Pietro's death, Wanda had lost an alarming amount of weight in a short amount of time, she hid it by wearing baggy clothes. It still worked out, it was getting colder these days. Almost everyone wore sweaters and sweatpants inside the compound.
Though she was able to hide how thin she was becoming, she couldn't hide how she looked. It was Tony who noticed first, it was just the two of them in the kitchen, Wanda getting a drink of water whilst Tony was rummaging around the pantry. "Gettin' a little pale there, might wanna go out more," Tony remarked, it was all lighthearted teasing for him, though Wanda became anxious at the comment.
Wanda forced out a laugh, it sounded natural enough. Tony eventually left after he grabbed a handful of snacks, then Wanda was left by herself.
Nine weeks after Pietro's death, Wanda learned how to use makeup.
Ten weeks after Pietro's death, the first incident occurred. Wanda was sparring with Natasha, everything seemed to be going well. Until it wasn't. Her vision blurred and she was unable to see Natasha anymore, her legs gave out, and she nearly collapsed, had it not been for Natasha's quick reflexes, she would've been on the floor by now. "Shit-" Natasha cursed. She knew she was strong, hell, she could carry Tony. Though what she wasn't expecting was how light Wanda was, it was as if she weighed as much as a stick. "Wanda?" she gently put Wanda on the floor, giving her space to breathe.
Wanda shook her head whilst she took deep breaths, trying to regain her composure. "Sorry...I just..uh..." her mind had become foggy. She couldn't form any proper sentences. "I- I think I'm just..." It took all her strength to not fall unconscious, not in front of Natasha. Wanda brought her hand to her head, feeling a headache creeping in. "Fuck...okay. Sorry-"
"Do I need to take you to the infirmary? Wanda you're..." Pale, extremely pale. Natasha knew there was something wrong at this point, it didn't help that Wanda weighed as much as a stick. Concern only grew on her features as Wanda started to clutch onto her head as if she was in pain. "Wanda, I'm taking you to the infirmary-"
"No- no it's okay...we just need to end training early today, I think." Wanda finally spoke, fighting back the pain and dizziness she felt. Her stomach twisted and churned, it begged for food. Wanda ignored it. "Sorry I think I just need some rest..."
Wanda slowly stood up, she tried to ignore how her legs trembled. Natasha could only look at Wanda with worry, something wasn't right about this. Wanda looked as white as a ghost at this point, it wasn't normal, nothing about this was normal. "Wanda, maybe we should just bring you to the infirmary, you really don't look well-"
"I'm fine Natasha," Wanda responded with much more anger than expected, it surprised the both of them. Natasha almost looked hurt. Wanda felt horrible pushing Natasha away like this, though it was better she didn't know. It was better none of them knew. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to snap like that, I'm just tired."
"It's okay..." But it wasn't okay, Natasha knew Wanda was okay, she was hiding something, she could see that. But Wanda kept pushing her away, she didn't wanna force Wanda, but she couldn't stop worrying about her. "Just rest a lot. Don't overwork yourself."
Wanda tried to smile, but it was strained. Natasha watched helplessly as Wanda slowly walked back to her room.
Finally, in her room, Wanda collapsed on the floor, out of breath, exhausted, and so hungry. Barely able to stand up, Wanda used what little left of her energy there was to use her powers and bring herself a glass of water that was on her nightstand. Wanda took a sip of her water and she felt a little better, just a little.
Wanda had come too close to falling unconscious in front of Natasha, she had to be careful. She couldn't afford anyone finding out.
Eleven weeks after Pietro's death, Wanda finally weighed herself. forty-six kilograms. A month ago she weighed sixty kilograms. The weight loss was becoming too visible, it was getting too hard, now that they were being assigned to missions Wanda knew she had to be at her best, she had to be ready when it was time for her to go on a mission. Yet, her mind was in such a dark and toxic mindset. Wanda would be easily overpowered by anyone, Natasha was starting to notice how sloppy her movements had become, and everyone was starting to notice how Wanda changed from dresses and skirts to oversized hoodies and sweatpants, she didn't dare let her body be seen by anyone.
Wanda stopped smiling with her teeth, the excessive vomiting and the acid that came with it started affecting her teeth. She didn't like her smile anymore. Wanda covered her calloused fingers with rings, even if it hurt. Makeup could only do so much, it was getting harder and harder to hide her sunken cheeks and the black circles that now rested under her eyes.
Throughout the week, there had been several close calls wherein Wanda nearly fainted in front of the Avengers, she always brushed them off, though she knew very well that eventually, eventually they would catch on. Wanda continued to deny the fact.
Twelve weeks after Pietro's death, Wanda was at her lowest point and weight. Forty-three kilograms. In just a week, a week of continuous training and purging, Wanda had lost another three kilograms. Wanda could barely stand up, she was frail, cold, pale, and exhausted.
Natasha recalled the past few weeks, she had grown closer to Wanda in that period of time. Since their first interaction, Natasha had kept a close eye on Wanda, observing her and making sure she was okay from a distance.
Natasha noticed when Wanda stopped joining them in meals.
Even when Wanda (with the persistence of Clint) finally ate with them, she took note of how quickly she dismissed herself right after.
Natasha noticed when Wanda's skin slowly became pale over time. Even as she attempted to cover it up with makeup, the sweat during training often washed it away.
Natasha noticed when Wanda stopped wearing dresses and skirts. It confused Natasha with the sudden change of fashion, Wanda had expressed her love for wearing dresses. She expressed how she loved styling outfits with them.
Natasha noticed when Wanda stopped smiling with her teeth. She noticed when Wanda started to cover her mouth when she laughed. It was subtle, yet Natasha couldn't help but miss Wanda's smile. She missed the way her nose scrunched when she laughed or smiled too hard.
Natasha noticed when Wanda started to look more and more tired each day, she didn't look like herself anymore.
Natasha had enough of it, there had been too many incidents where Wanda was on the brink of passing out. Natasha was done cowering away, she wanted to make sure Wanda was okay, she had to make sure she was okay.
So, when It was everyone's day off, mostly everyone spent their time either outside the compound or in their rooms. Wanda was in her room as per usual, she didn't have the strength or the energy. Natasha knocked on Wanda's door, and a weak reply came from the other side of the door. "Hey Wanda, I need to talk to you."
Wanda froze. Did she know? Natasha was undoubtedly one of the sharpest people in the compound, nothing went past her. "About what?"
"Something...important, can I come in?"
"No." Wanda couldn't let Natasha or anyone come inside her room. It was a mess. A bad one, at that. It was as if someone had come in and tried to rob Wanda, yet, her own powers caused it. When her emotions got too strong, when she was extremely overwhelmed, her powers would burst, knocking down everything inside her room. Wanda didn't have the energy to try and clean it. "No...my room is a mess. W-we can talk in the kitchen."
Natasha sighed, hesitant. "Okay."
There was a moment of silence, then footsteps leading away from Wanda's door. Wanda slowly got out of her bed, ignoring how her legs trembled trying to hold her upright. She clutched onto her head, trying to ease the dizziness that overwhelmed her senses once again. It was cold. It has been cold for the past few weeks now, and Wanda had to wear layer upon layer to try and keep herself warm. It was never enough.
Wanda was suffering. Yet, she continued to tell herself this was good for her, this is what she deserved, this finally gave her a sense of identity, and she finally felt in control of herself. It was worth the pain and hunger, it was worth nearly falling unconscious, it was worth the hair fall, the decaying teeth, and the calloused fingers. It was worth being able to feel in control.
Was it really worth it, though?
Then she was in front of Natasha who had a plate of food prepared. "Hungry?" the former assassin offered, gesturing at the food. Wanda shook her head, Natasha expected that answer. "Wanda...Have you been eating well?"
"Of course, I have," The lie came out naturally, Wanda had been lying for so long, it was second nature at this point. "Why are you asking me this, Natasha?"
Natasha sighed, she was no stranger to this topic. She'd seen girls much younger than her struggle, and it hurt every time to see it. It wasn't fair that this was happening to Wanda, though. Wanda who had been through so much already, Wanda who had lost her brother just a few months ago, Wanda...the girl she deeply cared about. "Wanda, look - I think I have an idea of what's been going on. I know now that there are things you haven't told me, things you haven't told anyone."
Oh.
Wanda's heart raced. Anxiety welled up inside of her. Natasha knew, oh god, Natasha knows.
"You...you don't know anything," Wanda tried to deny the fact Natasha knew, she didn't wanna believe it.
Natasha slowly stood up. "Wanda," she said, her voice soft and laced with concern. She didn't wanna scare Wanda, she didn't want Wanda to think she was angry, she just wanted to make sure she was okay. "You have to be honest with me. Wands. This...this isn't okay, we can help you."
Wanda, stricken with panic, only backed away from Natasha. She rapidly shook her head, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "No," she whispered, her voice barely audible. Wanda wrapped her arms around herself, trying to find some sense of security. "There's nothing wrong, r-really. Just..." she took a deep breath. Wanda felt lightheaded again, somehow, this time seemed worse.
"Wanda?" Natasha stepped closer, noticing the state Wanda was in. There was a pang in her heart seeing Wanda so distraught like this, It hurt to know that there was only so much she could do for her.
Time seemed to have moved in slow motion, one second she was standing in front of Wanda - the next she was holding Wanda's trembling body as she collapsed on the floor. She was pale, ghostly pale. Natasha brought her hand to Wanda's face, her eyes brimmed with tears as for once in her life she didn't know what to do. "F-Friday-" She choked out. Natasha swallowed, trying to compose herself, trying to stay strong for the girl who lay dying in her arms. "C-call someone- anyone! Wanda needs medical assistance, now."
Everything was a blur. Natasha held Wanda closely, then Clint came. Natasha didn't hear anything he said, she could only focus on Wanda, only Wanda. Wanda who's eyes were closed shut and Natasha wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to see her green eyes again. Wanda was unconscious, sick, and dying. With each second that passed, Natasha could feel Wanda slipping further and further away from her. Tony and Vision arrived with a medical team.
Wanda was taken away from her.
Natasha cried. She attempted to reach out to Wanda, refusing to leave her side. Clint had to hold her back. Wanda was rushed to the nearest hospital, Steve reassured Natasha saying Tony made sure they assigned only the best doctors for Wanda, even then, Natasha could see the glint of worry in his eyes. They waited several hours. Natasha anxiously waited for any updates on Wanda.
"How are you holding up?" Clint asked, handing Natasha a sandwich. Clint had gone to the nearest convenience store to buy snacks, it had been several hours since Natasha had eaten. The rest of the Avengers had to leave, though they promised to come back the following day.
Natasha unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. It tasted horrible. "I don't know Clint- I knew it was bad for Wanda, ever since with Ultron but I- I didn't think it was this bad. Fuck, I mean she's barely...she's all skin and bones-" Natasha shook her head, she didn't even want to think of that. "I knew there was something going on but- but I didn't confront her about it sooner or reach out sooner and now she's in the hospital, dying, and I don't even know if she'll wake up, she's so, so malnourished Clint. Did you see- did you see how thin her arms were? how- how fucking frail she looked- Oh god Clint- I don't know. I should've done something- said something, anything--"
"Slow down Nat, deep breaths, yeah?" Clint gently held onto Natasha's shoulders, trying to calm her down. There was nothing more they could do other than wait for the doctors, and god, Clint wished there was more he could do. He cared for Wanda, she was his friend, he told Wanda she could come to him, which made it hurt more knowing Wanda suffered in silence for this long. "It's not your fault, don't even think of putting the blame on yourself. We...we all failed to notice, It's on us, all of us. The only thing we can do now is there for Wanda, right?"
Natasha nodded slowly, unsure, scared, and worried. "Y-yeah, okay. I just....really care about her Clint. I care about everyone here, so to see something like this happen..." she hung her head low, feeling defeated in a way. Natasha felt like she had failed to protect Wanda, she was her mentor, and she was supposed to be there for Wanda as both mentor and friend. "Will- will she wake up?"
Clint had never heard his best friend sound so scared, broken, and uncertain. "She will, she's strong."
Clint wasn't sure if Wanda would wake up either.
{}
Natasha didn't know when she fell asleep. When she opened her eyes again, Tony was there talking to a doctor, Clint was asleep beside her. She forced herself awake, groggily rubbing her eyes and standing up. "Tony?"
"Sleep well sleeping beauty?" Tony received a glare, he didn't pay any mind to Natasha's annoyance, he already knew what she wanted. He gave the doctor a quick nod before putting his full focus on Natasha, she looked at him with a worried expression. "Well..." he sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "Anorexia and Bulimia, shocker, I guess." he tried to brush it off casually, yet the way his voice wavered ever so slightly meant more than what he intended.
"Is she awake?"
"Yeah," Then came a sigh of relief from Natasha, she was awake, and she was...okay. "I checked up on her, tried to offer some food, thought she'd like strawberries but uh..." Tony sounded defeated, he knew it wouldn't be easy. Yet, knowing there was only so much he could do, even with all the money in the world, he could only wait and hope that Wanda would get better, it was...difficult. He glanced at the uneaten container of strawberries, then back at Natasha.
"She'll be here for a while," He told Natasha. "You could keep her company...maybe try to talk to her. She still won't eat." There was still a tube attached to Wanda, it was the only thing giving her nutrition and energy.
Natasha nodded, feeling a rush of nervousness. It wasn't the first time she had confronted someone with an eating disorder, but it just felt harder with Wanda. A lot harder. Tony gave her the directions to the room Wanda was admitted to, Natasha swallowed and made her way to Wanda's room. Her mind raced with countless thoughts, the last time she had seen Wanda was just merely a few hours ago, she was unconscious and practically dying. Seeing her again after those torturous few hours felt...relieving yet absolutely terrifying.
She inhaled slowly, trying to regulate her breathing as Natasha finally stood in front of the room where Wanda was admitted to. Then she knocked and let herself in.
Then there was Wanda with all sorts of machines connected to her, she was pale, frail, she looked sickly. Natasha felt her heart ache, it was hard to believe that just a few months ago, she was healthy, she was...happy, no, was Wanda ever happy? They all assumed Wanda was coping better, but is that really the truth?
Wanda, who had been staring out the window, looked up to see Natasha. "Hi," her voice was hoarse, it almost hurt to talk.
"Hey," Natasha tried to give her a small smile. It didn't feel right seeing Wanda hooked up to all these machines, it didn't feel right seeing one the strongest people she knew resting on a hospital bed, weak and fragile. "Are...are you okay?"
Natasha felt stupid, Wanda wasn't okay. Of course she wasn't, if she was they'd probably be back at the compound, happy and just being themselves.
"I'm...alright," Wanda shrugged, she wasn't sure, either. She wasn't sure if she was 'okay', one minute she was stood in front of Natasha and the next thing she knew - she was in a hospital room, being told she was diagnosed with two eating disorders and that she was severely underweight, who would've guessed? "This is my first time in a hospital. It's a lot more...lonely, I guess."
"Want Tony to upgrade your room? He'd probably hire some personal butlers or something if you wanted."
Wanda chuckled, she then shook her head. She had burdened them enough, why would she dare ask for more? "I don't need that, I've troubled you guys enough.."
After a moment of silence, Natasha finally gained the courage to ask; "Why?" it was eating at her, she wondered why Wanda did this to herself, why she would put herself through so much pain.
"You're...beautiful Wanda, I don't understand why you'd do this to yourself-"
Wanda cut Natasha off, she looked surprised. "Is that why you think I did this?" she almost laughed. "I...I'm okay with how I look, Natasha."
"I- I don't understand," Natasha told her. It didn't make sense to her, not yet. "Wanda, I don't want to force you to talk but...eventually they're gonna need to know, the doctors and all, and eventually the Avengers."
"That much I know," Wanda sighed, she then avoided Natasha's worried gaze, she couldn't handle looking at it any longer. Wanda already felt like a burden to the Avengers, seeing Natasha's expression made her feel so, so much worse. "I shouldn't have done this to myself, I know that, too."
"It was easier than thinking of him, though. Pietro..." It was easier distracting herself from her grief, at least when her parents died, she had Pietro, but when she lost Pietro? Oh, Wanda had never felt so lost, so alone, so suffocated. "The hunger distracted me from those thoughts, the physical pain was easier to bear than the emotional pain."
Wanda's eyes wandered to her arms, they were bony, barely any flesh left. She didn't feel like herself anymore. Somewhere deep in the past was just a little girl who lived a normal life, a little girl who was hopeful, who was happy. That little girl knew nothing of her future. Wanda missed her, she missed the little girl who watched sitcoms with her family, she missed the little girl who would bicker with her brother, she missed the little girl who thought getting superpowers of any sort was nothing but a fantasy.
"Hey," Wanda flinched, just realizing Natasha was now stood beside her, with her hand resting on top of Wanda's. "...I'm sorry," Natasha whispered. "You've been through so much, we should've seen what was happening before it got to this point."
"I knew what I was doing, this is all on me-"
"Wanda, none of this is your fault. You're in pain, you're grieving, this was the only way you could cope with it," Natasha gently squeezed Wanda's hand. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I should've been there for you."
There was something in Natasha's eyes Wanda couldn't make sense of, why was Natasha of all people so kind to her? Wanda used her powers on her, she brought back those horrible memories, she could have very easily killed her and the rest of the Avengers, she had them all wrapped under her finger, she had them trapped in their own minds, so...why? Why is Natasha so, so painfully kind to her?
"Why are you so nice to me?" Wanda finally asked. "I- I hurt y-you Natasha, both physically and mentally I have and-"
"And that's all in the past now, right?" Natasha could see the uncertainty in Wanda's eyes, she could see the guilt laced in her eyes, the regret. "I'll admit...I wasn't sure how to approach you after that, I know you didn't mean to...remind me of that. I forgave you a long time ago, Wanda, so don't keep blaming yourself, okay?"
Wanda only nodded weakly in response. "And you need to start taking care of yourself, please." Natasha continued, the painful reminder of why Wanda was in the hospital in the first place lingered in the back of her mind. "You...you really can't keep doing this to yourself. We have a therapist somewhere in the compound, we can set up appointments for you once you're out of here."
"Really?" Wanda was never aware of there being a therapist in the compound, though she figured it would make sense, seeing that not everyone had the greatest time growing up.
Natasha smirked. "We all need a bit of therapy, right? Tony hired one after the battle in New York," she sighed. "Of course...it won't undo years of trauma, it's something we all have to learn to deal with, but for the very least it could help you cope better with those memories."
"...has it helped you?" Wanda was hesitant, unsure if she should have asked this question at all.
"Well, I'm not drinking 'till I black out anymore, so I'd say it has." Natasha wasn't sure if anything could really help her, the memories of the red room never really went away, maybe she'd found better coping mechanisms to deal with it all, but in the end, she was still just living with it in the back of her mind. "I'm not gonna pretend I'm mentally stable, fuck, don't think anyone is, really. But we're here for each other, we're a family."
Finally, for the first time since Natasha came in, Wanda smiled, it was small, but it was a smile nonetheless. Natasha missed seeing that. "Wanda, I care about you a lot...a lot more than you think," Natasha felt her face heat up, this shouldn't be that embarrassing, Natasha thinks.
"So do I," Wanda wasn't sure of her feelings, everything was...beyond terrifying and confusing for her. There was so much she had to deal with, so much that was still stressing her out. But, she feels Natasha's hand still on her own, she feels safe. "...thank you," she whispered.
Wanda wasn't sure what was gonna happen from here, but she knew things wouldn't be as bad as before with Natasha by her side.
{}
Wanda groaned, she felt cold. She turned over, attempting to find a certain redhead so she could find warmth, however, she only felt the empty space that was once occupied by Natasha.
She forced her eyes to open, fighting away the drowsiness and sleep. Wanda slowly sat up, wondering where her girlfriend was this early in the morning, unbeknownst to some, Wanda was not a morning person, she despised them and preferred to sleep until the early hours of the afternoon, much to Natasha's dismay.
Then the door opened and there was Natasha, holding a cake. Her face lit up even more once she saw that Wanda had awoken. "Happy Birthday!" She cheered, a big grin forming on her face as she waddled her way towards Wanda.
"Birthday?" Wanda repeated groggily, she had barely processed the fact she had woken up and was blissfully unaware of today's date.
"Yes, it's your birthday, ms. Maximoff," Natasha giggled, she'd never grow tired of how adorable Wanda was during the mornings, it was one of the many things she cherishes during her mornings. "I woke up early to bake you a cake!"
Wanda still seemed confused, she didn't remember the last time she had celebrated her birthday. It was only a few months ago she had told the Avengers when her birthday was when they were celebrating Tony's birthday, she hasn't been expecting anything today. "Oh...oh wow," she finally spoke, realizing that Natasha had woken up and took the time and effort to bake and decorate a cake just for her birthday.
"Nat..." Wanda smiled, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. It was her first birthday without Pietro...without her twin. "I- I don't know what to say,"
"You don't have to say anything. I've got two things prepared - one, we could go out and do whatever you please...and I know that today would be hard for you, so we could also visit Pietro's grave and celebrate with him too. Or, two, we can just stay inside all day, eat pizza and maybe watch a movie with the rest of the Avengers if you don't feel like going out."
Wanda still wasn't sure why she got so lucky to get someone like Natasha Romanoff as her girlfriend, it seemed unreal. "I- I'd like to do both," she told her, feeling tears stream down her cheeks.
Natasha wiped them away with her thumb and nodded. "Yeah? We'll do both then," she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on Wanda's lips, there wasn't anything Natasha wouldn't do for Wanda. Recovery had been fairly hard, but she watched as Wanda slowly gained her light back, she watched as Wanda started to heal, it took time, and there was still a lot of painful memories and hard days, but Wanda was better than she was before.
This time Natasha knew Wanda was happy, at least, happier than she was before and that's all that mattered to her. "Happy birthday, Wands. I love you," Natasha couldn't resist the big, dumb smile that crept onto her features. Natasha knew as well that she was happier than she ever was, she was happy with Wanda.
"I love you too, Nat." Wanda still had dark days, sometimes it was hard to even swallow a spoonful of food, some days she found it too hard to get out of bed, but Natasha never strayed, she stayed by her side and Wanda knew she'd always be by her side, too.