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NOVEMBER 12TH, 2009
8:06 AM
Elizabeth won’t allow me more than three quests at a time, and I’ve already taken on a trio. Mr. Ono, where the hell are you? I forgot I’d even taken this one on…at least I’ve been able to spend some time with the teachers. It’s a form of make-up for all the times I’ve fallen asleep in their classes or gotten their answers wrong. I’m surprised the composition teacher managed to have such poor syntax, although I’m only just now advancing my tongue so I guess I can’t speak. I’ve honestly forgotten how this even started.
4:12 PM
This thing is beautiful. I’ll admit, he’s rather Quixotic, but seeing such fire in the people I see as extinguished is genuinely inspiring. Bebe’s gone, though…but at least Mr. Ono managed to give him his own helmet before he left. I shouldn’t be surprised he has more than one helmet. But now I must go to Elizabeth.
4:35 PM
She remarked on it as well, the character for LOVE adorned on the thing. Actually, I even repeated some of what Mr. Takeda Ekoda told me about it, and her eyes lit up too. I haven’t felt this much joy recently… There’s all sorts of eccentrics around, huh? Including that Ryoji…why does he look so much like Pharos, anyhow?
7:24 PM
On Elizabeth’s list, as the sun set outside in reality, she had a request I bring to her “Gourmet Dog Food.” I immediately pictured the deathly pale hand in the shadow of a heavy red coat and boarded the train from Paulownia Mall to the dorm with excitement.
Actually, now that I think about it, where the hell has Shinjiro been? I haven’t seem him in a while. I remember walking Koromaru with him a couple of months ago. I’m smiling so boyishly. Haha! I remember the tape now. The Junpei one was funny, but Shinjiro’s inner Sanji is so cute! Uh, endearing. Magnetic? He’s not exactly cute. I see why some think of him as a thug. I mean, that’s kind of what I assumed when he dropped us and Akihiko a surprise visit several months ago—holy shit, several months ago? But that’s not who he is. He’s a real softy underneath, so much so that he doesn’t really know how to handle Ken.
11:36 PM
I opened the doors to the dorm and scanned for him. There’s only Akihiko, Yukari (apparently “Yukatan” is a region in Mexico? Mr. Edogawa mentioned the Maya and some of their ceremonies), Junpei, Ken, and Aigis.
How often does Shinjiro hang around upstairs?
I start for them.
Koromaru gives me a soft bark, and I turn my head to him. He downs his ears and whimpers. I squat down to his level and see sadness reflecting at me, my image distorted in the color of violent honey.
“Koro-chan, what’s up? Where’s Shinji-san?”
He gives another whimper.
“I don’t understand.
“Where’s Shinji-san?”
Koromaru lowered himself, and a shadow overcame me.
It’s Akihiko. He looks sad too.
“Aki, where’s—”
It was only then I remembered. Shinji’s dead. Ken nearly died last month. And Mitsuru’s dad is dead, too. I wish I could describe the tearing that overtook my chest.
How could I’ve forgotten? I was there at his funeral…and Junpei even chastised some assholes. So why did I forget?
It was then that I’d begun to cry. Had I ever wept openly?
Did I cry at Shinji’s funeral?
“I-I’m…I’m so sorry, A-A-Aki…”
I saw him fight back his own tears. “Minato, it’s okay.”
Somehow, the forgiveness hurt more than any anger could have.
I wish I could write something beautiful here, something poetic like this Russian author I’ve discovered recently, but nothing comes out except this raging numbness. I barely recognize who I was before I was transferred here. I have changed a lot, but there’s been so much loss lately. The only thing I have is these tears staining the paper on which I write.