Work Text:
Click. Click. Click.
The clicking of console buttons and video game sound effects filled the bedroom where Sooobin and Huening Kai were playing Mario Kart on their Nintendo Switch. Onto the final lap, both were engrossed in winning the race when all of a sudden, Kai broke their silent gaming.
“Hyung,” he called, clicking on the console aggressively.
Soobin hummed in reply as he waited for the younger member to continue.
“You’re kinda mean, you know,” he stated nonchalantly, his eyes still trained on the small console screen.
Taken completely by surprise by their youngest member’s words, Soobin choked in his own spit as he whipped his head in Kai’s direction. “Excuse me?” he sputtered in shock.
Kai pressed the pause button and looked at his hyung with a serious expression. “Hyung, why have you never initiated skinship with us, especially with Yeonjun-hyung who we all know craves physical touch more than anything?” asked the dark-haired idol, sadness apparent in his eyes and voice.
Soobin was rendered speechless, his hold on the Switch controller going slack. He didn’t understand where the question suddenly came from. A few seconds, they were just playing a game – an innocent racing game that left little to no room for such a serious conversation. Now, he was being scolded by their maknae for being mean for his lack of initiation?
He replayed the past week’s events in his head, hoping to find some sort of mistake he did to Kai or any of the members. Did he accidentally push Kai’s affection away? Was it Yeonjun? Is that why he mentioned him?
Much to his dismay, Soobin really couldn’t come up with a plausible reason to explain Kai’s sudden change of demeanor. Deciding to divulge the maknae’s question instead of trying to find a reason, Soobin let out a sigh.
“Did hyung do something wrong, Kai-yah?” Soobin inquired, curious to know what he did or maybe didn’t do for that matter.
Kai shook his head lightly. “No, nothing like that, hyung. It’s just that…” He bit his lip in the middle of the sentence, feeling hesitant to continue. But Soobin, being the understanding leader that he is, placed a hand over Kai’s free hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. “Well, I noticed that for the past few days, you weren’t returning Yeonjun-hyung’s affection as much as you did before,” he continued, his lips now turning into a tiny frown.
His answer certainly had Soobin thinking hard – real hard . Did his treatment toward the older member change without him realizing it? As far as Soobin can remember, he always returned Yeonjun’s affection, whether it’d be a hug, a pat, or any kind of touch both on- and off-screen.
He wasn’t touch-averse, per se. He was just never the initiator because he was too shy to do so. Nevertheless, he did his best to indulge his members’ affectionate sides. He thought he was doing great, but was he lacking in that department? Was his reciprocation not enough?
Suddenly saddened by these intrusive thoughts, Soobin felt the heavy weight of Kai’s accusation about his lacking affection descending on his shoulders.
“Oh, you really think so?” Soobin asked in a deflated manner, his shoulders now slumped and his head low.
Kai didn’t say anything in response. He just continued to look at Soobin with the same sad expression as he squeezed the elder’s hand in his. After a few beats of silence, Kai then said, “You know, I wasn’t supposed to say anything because Beomgyu-hyung swore me to never mention it to you, but I think you deserve to know, hyung.”
“Know what, Kai-yah? You can tell me,” replied Soobin as he scooted closer to the younger member, desperate to know what else was there so he could fix it immediately.
Kai let out a long exhale before he continued. “Yeonjun-hyung has been feeling down since yesterday. I don’t why, but we all noticed it. Beomgyu-hyung told us not to tell you though because we know you have other things on your plate as our leader and we didn’t want to add more burden,” he answered with a sad smile.
Soobin suddenly couldn’t breathe, his eyes unblinking and his head spinning after hearing Kai’s words. His heart was pounding painfully in his chest, the beats drowning his ears until he couldn’t hear anymore. Their hyung was feeling depressed and he didn’t notice it? Not even once?! How could that be?
Soobin always prided himself on being a great and attentive leader, always knowing when his members weren’t feeling okay or otherwise. But to think that every single one of them, except Soobin apparently, noticed that their hyung – their anchor – was feeling anything but happy was something he couldn’t wrap his head around. Soobin felt hurt. But more importantly, he felt ashamed - devastatingly ashamed.
Knowing that he needed to remedy this (and fast!), Soobin quickly stood up, Kai and the video game now completely forgotten, as headed towards the subject of the sudden ache in his heart.
As soon as Soobin turned his back to Kai, the sad expression on Kai’s face vanished almost immediately, now replaced by a devilish grin. Unbeknownst to the blond leader, the maknae was exceedingly proud of successfully pranking his hyung.
What can he say? Huening Kai was just that kind of bored prankster who wanted some drama starring his two favorite hyungs.
+x+
Like a man on a mission, Soobin went straight to the kitchen where Yeonjun was currently preparing a bowl of ramen. The older boy had his back to Soobin and didn’t hear him when he approached.
Without hesitation, Soobin wrapped his arms around Yeonjun’s broad shoulders in a back hug, his chest pressing into the black-haired idol’s back as his head fell on his shoulders.
Surprised by the sudden back hug attack, Yeonjun couldn’t help but tense up which Soobin quickly noted. He gripped him tighter, needing to hold his hyung closer and surround him with as much attention and affection as he could. If he didn’t, Soobin feared he was going to lose it and end up crying on the damn floor.
“Hyung, I’m sorry,” Soobin whined in a melancholy tone, his mop of blond hair tickling Yeonjun’s chin.
A nervous chuckle escaped Yeonjun’s lips. “Soobin-ah, what’s wrong?” he asked warmly, placing his hands over Soobin’s forearms.
Soobin felt the prick of tears forming in his eyes at the older boy’s question. Even at this moment, Yeonjun still puts him and his well-being first. But then, who’s taking care of him?
It should be me , Soobin scolded himself, wanting to bang his head onto a wall for his incompetence as their group’s leader.
Soobin sniffled and this got Yeonjun stiffening significantly in return. The older boy turned in Soobin’s arms, his own arms immediately finding purchase on the leader’s waist.
“Soobin-ah, what's wrong?” This time, there was evident urgency in Yeonjun’s voice as he asked for the second time, his eyes searching Soobin’s.
The blond idol felt a lump in his throat at seeing his hyung still looking at him with such tender care, the built-up moisture in his eyes threatening to spill. “I’m sorry, Yeonjun-hyung. I’ll do better, I promise,” he said before a single tear escaped his left eye.
Panic now painted Yeonjun’s face as he quickly wiped away the tear with his thumb, cupping Soobin’s cheek right afterward. “Bin-ah, you’re already doing great. What are you talking about? Tell hyung what’s wrong, please!” Yeonjun pleaded desperately, his eyes boring through Soobin’s watery ones.
“I should be asking you that,” Soobin countered, his throat feeling more constricted as he fought back his tears. He will NOT break down in front of Yeonjun. He needs to be strong now, for both of them.
Yeonjun’s brows furrowed at his reply. “What?”
Soobin sniffled once more, mustering up the courage before asking, “Why are you feeling depressed? I know I may not be the most affectionate person out there, but you know that I’m always here for you, right?”
This got Yeonjun frowning even more as his brows furrowed deeper. “What on earth are you talking about? Soobin-ah, I’m fine.” The tone of the older boy’s voice was of utter disbelief.
It was now Soobin who was completely perplexed as he asked, “What?”
“I’m fine. Great, even. Who told you I was feeling depressed?” Yeonjun asked incredulously, rubbing the pad of his thumb on Soobin’s cheek in an attempt to calm the leader down.
“But, Kai said that everyone noticed you felt down since yesterday, except for me it seems. What kind of leader does that make me? A clueless bum who doesn’t even know when his members are having problems,” replied Soobin, a condescending and bitter laugh escaping his lips as he cast his eyes down.
“Bin-ah, look at me.” When Soobin didn’t lift his head out of shame, Yeonjun tilted his head up using the hand he had on Soobin’s cheek.
Soobin kept his eyes trained on anything but Yeonjun even with his head up. “Sweetheart, please look at me,” Yeonjun coaxed tenderly, knowing that Soobin was a sucker for endearing nicknames.
True to his knowledge, this got Soobin’s attention as he begrudgingly brought his eyes to meet Yeonjun’s who smiled at him genuinely as soon as their eyes connected.
“There you are,” he said warmly. “Now, you listen to me, and you listen well, Choi Soobin. I will not and will never tolerate you talking shit about yourself. Ever . You are the most amazing and selfless person I know, and you are more than worthy of your position as our leader. We wouldn’t be where we are right now if it weren’t for you.” Yeonjun then leaned forward to touch his forehead to Soobin’s, not once breaking eye contact. “You are our leader through thick and thin. Nothing and no one can tell us otherwise.”
Soobin felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest at Yeonjun’s kind words. His words were like an oasis in a desert. Soobin gripped Yeonjun tighter as he felt the tears in his eyes fall down one by one.
He promised himself he wouldn’t break down, but after hearing his hyung’s words of assurance, he felt a heavy weight on his chest suddenly disappear. He brought his head down to Yeonjun’s shoulder and cried, his tears drenching the older boy’s shirt.
Yeonjun just rubbed and patted his back as he let Soobin weep. When Soobin was dried out, he pulled back a little to look at Yeonjun with red-rimmed eyes.
“Do you feel better now, sweetheart?” asked Yeonjun, continuing to rub Soobin’s back.
Soobin nodded but then said defeatedly, “Yes, but I still don’t know why you’re sad, hyung.”
Once again, Yeonjun frowned. “I already told you. I’m fine,” replied the older boy, his eyes serious and true.
Looking at him now, Soobin saw no trace of lying in Yeonjun’s eyes. He looks like he really was telling the truth, but Soobin still had his suspicions.
“Really?” he poked.
Yeonjun rolled his eyes exasperatedly, but paired with the playful grin on his lips, Soobin knew it was of good nature. “Yes. I’m totally fine. You didn’t notice anything because there’s nothing to notice in the first place.”
Soobin couldn’t stop his brows from creasing. “But Kai-yah told me…” he trailed off as his mind raced back to the conversation he had with their maknae, now putting two and two together as an epiphany dawned on him. Then and there, it occurred to him that Kai’s behavior was exactly how he acted when he was bored.
No wonder their youngest spoke out of the blue. He was never one to talk about anything serious, unless it was part of an elaborate plan or prank. Soobin immediately realized it was the latter and it seemed like Yeonjun quickly caught onto it as well as the older idol let out a laugh.
“I think Hyuka was just playing a prank to get you to hug me first or something,” reasoned Yeonjun as giggles escaped his lips, seeming to enjoy Soobin’s innocence and gullibility.
Now that everything made sense, Soobin threw his head back in frustration, closing his eyes as his sadness turned into humorous anger. “I’m going to kill him,” he said in the air.
Yeonjun just chuckled but didn’t let Soobin go. “Awww, did our Soobinnie worry over me so much that he cried?” teased Yeonjun with a poke on Soobin’s side.
Soobin whipped his head back, staring at Yeonjun with a serious gleam in his eyes, which took Yeonjun by surprise.
“Of course, I was worried, hyung! I honestly thought you were going through something without asking for our help. I may not always show my affectionate side, but I care for you all deeply. And I will do everything in my power to protect you,” he stated as he held on to Yeonjun’s waist firmly.
Yeonjun didn’t expect the serious tone in Soobin’s voice but greatly appreciated it nonetheless. His eyes considerably softened at their leader’s dedication to always be there for them. The older boy turned his head to the side as he laid his cheek on Soobin’s chest to show his gratitude.
“Thank you, Soobin-ah. I know, heck all of us know, that you will do anything for us, but you don’t have to force yourself to become affectionate overnight. Just because we’re more attuned to initiating skinship doesn't mean you have to. We love you all the same. Besides, that’s actually one of the things I like about you,” Yeonjun remarked, the last part said almost in a whisper, but Soobin still heard him.
This certainly got Soobin’s attention as he placed his chin on top of Yeonjun’s fluffy hair. “Oh? How so?” he probed.
A few beats passed by before Yeonjung answered. “The fact that you’re always ready to accept every touch without a second thought is something I always treasure. You never complained or pushed me away, which I always find endearing. It’s not every day that someone can handle my clinginess, or as Beomgyu said, over-clinginess . Only you,” he said chuckling.
Soobin’s lips tilted up at that. He may not be one to initiate contact, but deep down, Soobin really loves physical touch. And receiving it from his members, especially Yeonjun, was something he always looked forward to regularly. It was like his daily happy pill. He feels much closer to them with every hug, pat, shake, and all else in between.
Still, Soobin feels like he can be more active about this side of him, or at least more clear about it. “I will always accept your affections, hyung.” This got the older boy smiling. “And I guess I can be more affectionate from now on. I’m just really shy, so you guys will have to be patient with me,” he continued, a blush creeping into his cheeks at the idea of hugging his members first, particularly the boy in his arms as he speaks.
“Take as much time as you need, Binnie. For as long as you’re doing it for yourself, then that’s good enough for me. But, you have to promise me one thing,” Yeonjun said, pulling back to look Soobin in the eye.
“And what’s that, hyung?” Soobin asked curiously, his dimples appearing.
Yeonjun leveled him with a serious expression. “Only be affectionate towards us and never to someone outside the group. I don’t care if they are our seniors, managers, or juniors. Only hug four people, and that’s Beomgyu, Taehyun, Huening Kai, and obviously, me,” he stated, a possessive tone masking Yeonjun’s voice.
Soobin could only chuckle at his ridiculous statement, his dimples deepening, but the blond idol nodded just the same. “I promise, hyung,” he replied before pulling Yeonjun into a tight hug once more.
He felt Yeonjun relax in his arms and return his embrace without missing a beat. Soobin heard the older boy let out a contented sigh. “This feels nice. We should do this more,” the older boy commented, planting his chin on Soobin’s shoulder.
Soobin just laughed adorably before replying, “Duly noted, hyung,” earning a delighted giggle from Yeonjun.
+x+
Locked in each other’s embrace, the two older boys not once noticed that their youngest member was watching them the entire time in absolute amusement.
Kai was beyond excited to spill the development of their hyungs’ relationship to Beomgyu and Taehyun who were soon to return from their schedule that day.
Although the development was smaller than Kai expected (he kind of expected a kiss or two to occur but oh, well), he concluded it was progress nonetheless. He, Beomgyu, and Taehyun have been hinting at either of their hyungs to make a move as they obviously have feelings for each other but were just too dense to recognize their affection.
So, the younger members took it upon themselves to get them to realize their feelings sooner rather than later before they end up combusting from pent-up emotions. And that’s exactly what Kai did today.
Sighing like a tired love guru, Kai just tiptoed back to the bedroom. Baby steps , he thought to himself with a grin as he entered the room and went back to playing Mario Kart.