Archive of Our Own

[PURE D QUARTERLY MEETING]

[...]

Manager 1: That’s it for the promotion aspects for the next months. Now, your solo promotions, as always, will be discussed in other meetings, but we would like to say the reactions from your radio show, Seungmin, have been really positive and have actually brought us a lot of new fans, that’s why this comeback will be very important for your careers. As for Jeongin, the first information about the drama and your character is supposed to come out in the middle of the month, but the few reactions have already been positive as well. For Jisung, we are still studying your content suggestion, but we actually are putting you in a, for now,  secret project

Jisung: Secret?

Manager 1: Yes, we will explain later, no need to worry. These are our plans for the next few months. Any doubts? Good. Sir..

Director: Thank you. Seungmin, Jeongin, you can go now. Jisung, stay for some more minutes, please.

Jeongin: Okay. Thank you

Seungmin: Thank you for the meeting

{footsteps} {door closing}

Manager 2: We will be helding a new meeting later today, so we can explain the details for both you and Minho at the same time-

Jisung: Minho like, Lee Know?

Manager 1: See, we are planning on putting you two in a relationship. We figured you two would be the perfect pair for the situation and, while we understand this is not a normal scenario for your career, we will make sure everything go as smoothly as possible

Jisung: And then what? Tomorrow all news will be talking about our supposed relationship, the company will say it’s real and that’s it?

Director: Details will be explained later, Jisung. But are not simple as they seem

[...]

[END OF THE MEETING]

Of all the things Jisung could have imagined about his life as an idol, being put in a fake relationship never really crossed his mind, especially with a guy who happened to be in the group that inspired him to follow his dreams. 

Destiny was crazy, if he could say so. Or the managers were losing their mind. He couldn't really decide on what seemed more close to reality.

Maybe they were trying some new way of promotion? Testing waters? They could also be trying to show how the company was supportive about the LGBT causes but… this doesn't seem to be the best alternative… Creating something when there’s probably someone in this company in a real relationship? And just by letting the artists talk about such causes or including more diversity in the music videos should be enough.

What if the public finds out this relationship is all fake? Wouldn't it just cause more problems in the future?

Well, for that, they actually gave an answer: just do your job correctly and this won’t happen. Pretty and complicated words were used then, just to make the discourse less authoritarian, Jisung guessed. But still, the why was never told. He could’ve asked, he thinks, but that would do any better for what he was feeling about this? Certainly not. 

“ Oh , this is fun”

“What the fuck, this is not ?” Jisung was chewing his noodles, perplexed that this was literally the first reaction after explaining the strangest thing that happened since his working life started.

“But it’s very convenient, don’t you think? Dating your life-long celebrity crush” Jisung suddenly turned to Seungmin, who was still preparing his dinner. Minho was not his celebrity crush, he just happened to be in the same group as- “I’m serious Jisung, if you keep dripping sauce everywhere I’m making you clean this kitchen with your own tongue”

Jeongin just laugheted, handing him a napkin. 

To be honest, his 16-year-old self would be really excited. Maybe every 16-year-old would because, well, dating a celebrity is a common dream, isn’t it? But his 24-year-old self was getting really worried about all this. Kids are inconsequential, he isn’t anymore. And he knows how bad all of this project can become if he “doesn't do his job correctly”. And having this planned to start at the same time their comeback is being prepared is a little too risky for his liking. A single wrong step, or a different reaction than what the company is expecting could be literally the end for him. And maybe for the group as well.

Five members, to three, to possibly two. Is it worth it to keep them alive? , the director could think. 

“Jisung, don’t even think to enter this spiral” Seungmin was now sitting at his side. Slowly, he noticed he was biting his finger, as he did when he was lost in thoughts “Just make a reason to why they want this to be done, if that’s what’s bothering you”

“Maybe it will be a good promotion for our new album!” certainly not , but Jeongin was always so positive about everything “It’s the first title in a while that we are actually happy about being in love. Having someone in the group ‘happy and in love’ will make people listen more to it, I think”

“Yeah, ‘happy and in love’ in a song I barely wrote” More noodles were put into his mouth “I’m still waiting for explanations to how you two wrote this in like, one day. I thought you didn’t have the time to have love in your lives right now”

“The same way you wrote all your break up songs, sir ‘I’ve never been in a relationship’.”

“Don’t attack me with my own words, Yang” he pointed his chopsticks in his direction, as if he was threatening the other, that was received with an exaggerated reaction. They laughed.

This situation reminded him of his brother. They used to play at dinner all the time, until their mom came and scolded them. His dad, though, always on their side, defended them saying they needed to play as much as they wanted because “one day they will grow up”. His mom was very soft-hearted and she melted to his words easily.

It took some time living with the boys for things to become comfortable, but he was glad it happened. 

“You know, you can use this opportunity to finally live the angst story of your dreams”

Jisung’s first reaction was to laugh at Seungmin’s comment because no one truly wants to have a story full of angst but, after some thought… Maybe he was right? Not that he could or would make this turn into a tragic story but he could imagine, right? 

🤍

The final preparation for a comeback was actually one of the most boring stages for Jisung. All the songs are already written and the recording is almost done. It was at this point where the endless vocal and choreography training took over their lives, making them repeat the tame two songs over and over again. This always led him to get really mad at the song, no matter how good it was. Frustration because his body didn't respond a hundred percent correctly to the choreography, the same verse repeating over and over again until it was perfect. At this stage he always found more and more things he could have done better when recording the song, which always made him hate the song on an extraordinary level and ask himself why the directos even decided the recording was good to be released. Did they hate him? Wanted him to hear how he still had so much to improve? What always brought life and happiness back to his body was being able to perform in front of fans. His excitement taking over his distaste for the song and later, the usually loud singing from fans always made the song good again 一 even better, to be honest! It was good to see their hard work was being appreciated by so many people.

But this time, things were worse than always. Having to worry about this plan was making his humor pretty bad and every night he felt like the worst person on earth because of his own grumpiness and stress. Shouting with his members for no apparent reason, rolling his eyes to the professors when they weren’t looking. He hated how he would act like a teenager all over again. Every night he would apologize to Seungmin and Jeongin for acting a certain way, even if it was like routine after all this time they were together.

And now, he would use his short lunch break to record some more extra things because "the song still feels incomplete and just your voice can solve this problem!" He knew the producers always threw comments like this to lighten up the mood, but couldn't they be more fake than this?

If he was lucky enough 一 and his body permitted 一 he could take a nap on their way for the stylist studio for the final fitting. But obviously luck was not (totally) on his side. After a few knocks , he was surprised to see Chris, another producer, and Minho. His eyes went wide open as he started shuffling his clothes, searching for his phone. Did he read the room number wrong on the message? No, he's sure it said room–

“Jisung! Come on in! Wonhyuk will arrive in few minutes, he had some problems with his car”

Chris seemed to be just as friendly as everyone said he was. It would be cool to have a song produced by him if the company permitted it. 

“Ah, I can wait here, I don’t want to disturb you”

“No, please, come on in! Minho and I are the ones who invaded the room in the first place” Chris was now at his side, almost pulling him “Wonhyuk asked me to prepare things and now I'm just showing Minho some tracks until he arrives. You will be a great company, don't worry!”

Jisung really hoped they were not doing anything really important because, since his arrival, Chris hasn't stopped talking. It was no problem, really. Having a well known producer praising your work was amusing and he really hoped they could work with him in the future. And maybe if he was a little bit more brave he could ask for some guidance at how to start producing as well? He already knew the technicalities of it, but nothing he created sounded good enough.

Okay, focus, Jisung. Is obvious he will be polite. It doesn’t mean he will be your friend (or tutor) because of this!

Minho’s gaze towards them was making Jisung feel restless. Since he entered the room, Minho stayed with the headphones on, observing them. Jisung couldn’t really tell what the older was thinking about 一 or even if he was thinking at all. Maybe he had just zoned-out while listening to the tracks, or maybe– should they have talked more instead of just saying a polite “hello” to each other? How exactly should they act around each other with all this plan happening? Actually, should they really act in everyday life, or was it just for the fans to see? 

Maybe it would be better if he was somehow included in the conversation. It would be politer to do this anyway. Maybe that’s why Minho was looking at him, waiting for the hook to be included. They probably would have, at least, to give hints that they were friends, so even the company crew could believe in the lie it was being created. But then, wouldn’t be better if he was without the hea-

“I like this one” Minho said abruptly, gaining Chris' attention again.

Jisung was sure their eyes met before he turned his chair to the computer again. After being sure none of them would turn in his direction again, he relaxed on the sofa and took the most silent deep breath he could master. 

He felt dumb about thinking Minho was paying attention to their conversation.

His bandmates used to talk a lot about how often he zoned out. He shouldn’t be creating all this narratives in his head. He should stick to what he knew. 

When Wonhyuk arrived, the recording was very chill and ended quicker than he was expecting. Productionwise, Jisung was still a baby, but Wonhyuk took time to explain to him how overlapping voices in different tones could add a depth to the song, even if it was subtle and the general public wouldn't really notice it. Not consciously, at least.

"I should've thought about this earlier. Sorry for making you come here in your break time"

Not long after he left the room, Minho was suddenly at his side.

“Chris can be too much sometimes, but you can always ask him to chill down” one worker turned the corner and now Minho was walking in front of him. With his head slightly turned in his direction, he concluded “he’s very cool in that sense”.

Jisung’s steps slowly stopped as he blinked in confusion.

What was he talking about?

🤍

“Why are you so surprised? I thought everyone already knew he was kinda… ‘peculiar’ is what they used to say?”

Seungmin wasn’t entirely wrong but still, it wasn’t a case of weirdness, was it? Advise someone about a situation… Jisung must have missed something while in the record room. Had he blacked out because of tiredness?

Suddenly, the restroom door opened and Jeongin appeared, saying they needed to go.

As soon as the door was closed again, Jisung turned to Seungmin, disappointed they would need to stop talking about it.

“Relax, Seung. The project hasn’t even started, right? The company will make sure to tell you how to act around each other, I hope” 

🤍

They were already in the middle of the month. All songs ready to be released, all photos taken, the album already had its first approved mockup and soon they would start signing some copies for the special event. Their focus now was solely on vocal and dance practice, while going under diets and few more gym sessions than usual so their body image would be ideal, even if the clothes would hide most of things the trainers set as focal points.

Pure D concept was never focused on showing abs or naked arms, but the company wanted to try something new. Oversized clothes so when they jumped the t-shirt would maybe lift a little. Tank tops underneath jackets so when they moved their shoulders could be exposed. If this worked and the public reaction was good, maybe Pure D concept would probably change as well.

They would have a lot more dancers then in previous releases too. They had less space to go in and out of frame, and Jisung was really afraid he would disturb one of the dancers, even if it hadn’t happened even once in their practices. He would forget the dance steps or even collide with Seungmin or Jeongin, but never the thing he was most afraid of for this stage. The choreography was revised countless times, and when the dancers left the practice room, the teacher decided they still weren’t getting the “right vibe” of the song.

“Try giving more of a foolish vibe when doing this" he repeated the step a few times, but she didn’t seem convinced “Look at how Jeongin is doing. It’s really suave– Seungmin, your body is right but your expression needs to be less tense”

She was very attentive, and they were tired. The choreography would never be perfect if they couldn’t rest for two minutes, Jisung thought

“Remember you are singing about your first love, so your body needs to fluctuate more– You can’t stop this feeling, so the body moves on its own".

How could his body portrait a foolish vibe without him looking like an idiot? And there was no formula. Just do it , don’t think too much . But why he always-

"Jisungie,” the door slowly opened, Minho’s face following the cravice. His body stopped working for a moment before he was fully facing his sunbae, quite surprised “don't forget we have a meeting tomorrow, hm?"

His voice was softer than Jisung ever heard, and the tiny smile really was something else. 

Breathing heavily because of the dance, all he could do was a short affirmative movement, too afraid his voice would fail him if he tried to say something.

The next second, the door was closed, followed by an almost inaudible “bye”.

"Oh!” giggles escaped the teacher’s mouth “Just try not to stop completely, but this was perfect, Jisung!”

Seungmin and Jeongin were fitting him, curious looks on their eyes.

“Should we rehearse one more time?  Then I think we are good to go.”

🤍

Jisung:
Hey I’m home

Jisung left the phone on the bedside table, and started to undress himself from the sweaty clothes. He would be the last to shower today, since he had no official schedule tomorrow morning. 

He jumped when his phone started ringing. He wasn’t expecting an answer until the sun rose, in a few hours. 

Soon, he answered the video call and positioned his phone on the stand he had on his desk. While his mom did her greeting, Jisung came with the make up remover and sat in front of the phone.

“ I’ll wake up you father, he misses you too ”

“I sent you my schedule mom! You could’ve called tomorrow”

“ It is already tomorrow, and I missed you ” Jisung chuckled and took a look at his phone. His mom, as always, was too close to her device, maybe trying to take a better look at his face “ How’s work? Are you eating? ”

“You know how comebacks are hectic. And at the end of the year too… and-” 

Jisung took a breath and discarded the cotton pad. Now, focusing entirely on his mom, he decided it was better not to talk about the project yet. He should have some more to say and explain. She kept rambling about how she was happy he found time to distress a little and go to the cafes with friends when he simply… didn’t actually … Did she saw a photo online and mistook him?

“Ah yes! There will be a song I wrote in the album like, just me as the lyricist!”

“ That’s good darling! See Bbamma! ” The phone was discarded at the table while his mom was probably trying to pick his dog up from the floor “ You want to say hi too? Yeah, it's Jisungie, say hi! ” The dog was as restless as always, not bothering to look at the phone, where Jisung was waving his hands. It was alright, though. It was just his personality afterall.

They talked a little more about everything until:

“ Is anything bothering you? You seem tense… ”

Actually, there were a lot of things, but nothing he wanted to talk about.

“I guess I’m just tired… and–” Through his window, he could see the pretty moon illuminating his bedroom “actually I haven’t bathed yet so do you mind if–”

“ Oh absolutely! I didn’t mean to stay this long too! ”

“No, that’s okay–”

“ Go go, Jisung, before you pass out! ” She got up from the table, scolding him as he was home “ Good dreams, darling. I love you ”

Jisung disconnected his phone from the support and brought it near to his face.

“Me too, mom. Bye”

As she waved, he ended the call. Almost two hours.

🤍

"I was told you finally listened to my radio?"

He heard the keys sound beforehand, but he wasn’t expecting Seungmin’s voice at all. He usually liked to have his bags in his room before they could complete their simple routine of saying hello and answering if everything went well in whatever schedule they were on.

"Why are you acting surprised? I always do!"

This time, without Jeongin there, Jisung was lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling for a long time. Dropping his head on the armrest, Seungmin was taking off his shoes, in an upside down view.

"Sure, so it was not because your boyfriend would be there?" Seungmin scoffed, as he made his way to the living room. He knew Jisung didn’t like listening to radios and that it was probably the first time he listened to it at all.

A loud groan was heard as Jisung literally threw himself off the sofa and started following Seungmin around like a lost puppy.

"I didn't even knew he would be your guest! Also, he's not my boyfriend."

A lie by the company’s eyes, but Seungmin chose to say nothing.

“Good timing for a meeting you two had.” His room was impeccable. Everything is absolutely clean and organized. He left his bag on the desk and removed his shirt. Soon they were in the kitchen, searching for what they could eat. “Sunbaenim was kinda stressed and they gave us a ridiculous amount of topics that somehow were relationship related. They want this to be natural but they really don’t know what they are doing.”

“But you didn’t talk that much about it?”

“Well, everytime I read the manager’s guide I wanted to laugh. And sunbaenim really avoided them by shouting random topics”. Finally Seungmin looked at him, water heating at his side “I was really surprised, though. About him knowing our new song. It isn't like you to show others our still-to-be-released songs”.

Jisung’s mind had to pause for some seconds as his words sunk in. 

“I didn't”. He was surprised when he heard Minho humming the melody of their new song too, but he thought the managers had shown him. Or even Seungmin himself.

“ Oh . That's strange”. His attention was again on the pan, where he was now putting the seasoning.

For a moment, Jisung started wondering if he somehow showed Minho their new song but… truth be told, it was impossible. Unless … Was he paying attention the day he went to the recording room? Because he remembered Wonhyuk asking their opinions, but he was certain Minho didn’t remove those headphones at all.

It didn’t took that long for their meal to be ready, and soon they were both eating, pan between them. As always, they got immersed in their own worlds, sometimes commenting on something fun they just saw online or any other thing that came to mind.

When Jisung still lived with his family, it was common for them to never stop talking to each other at dinner, but when you live, work and see the same people everyday, there’s nothing much to do about this. In the end, between them three, the usual silence wasn’t uncomfortable anymore.

"You are quieter than normal” Seungmin uttered, putting his chopsticks down “What are you thinking?"

Jisung pondered on what to say. Realistically, he was thinking about several things at once. Their choreography, comeback, Minho, the meeting, some new lyrics, the plan, the future, his parents…  

"Was sunbaenim strange? About the situation?"

“Not really… And he is very natural with his acting, I guess”

Jisung stayed in silence for a moment, eyes fixed on the pan.

“He was kinda harsh with the employees earlier.” he put some more of the noodles on his bowl “I was worried how the radio would turn out. If, you know, if he would act all nasty or– I don’t know, he would be mad at you for some reason”.

Seungmin observed Jisung chewing his food for a moment. 

“You know? I wouldn’t blame him, to be honest.” Jisung looked at him again, and his eyes seemed really tired “I personally wouldn't like to be the cover-up plan for some probably disgusting controversy, given all the effort they are putting in it”

That night, when he opened his social media, some people were commenting on how cute his fan side was, accompanied by prints of his few keyboard smashes he did on Bubble during the transmission.

Some noted this was the first time he live commented about the radio. Ha ha! He’s such a fanboy . 

And finally, a lot of people wondered if the melody Minho sang was from Pure D comeback, given Seungmin's reaction to it. How cool it must be Jisung’s favorite and get to listen to their songs beforehand . Or even the guy who doesn’t do spoilers showed his idol their new song??? How to be Lee Know google search . Jisung was confused why everyone was connecting the song spoiler to him, though.

He was afraid of what would happen on the radio, given in the meeting they talked about how they were supposed to somehow talk about each other on live transmission. Before going online again, after the show ended, to dig into fans' reaction, Jisung had prepared himself for all types of disgusting comments even when part of his mind was telling him no one would have really cared about it. He was genuinely surprised with how many comments it gathered, and was glad the fans' responses to this episode were mostly funny and lighthearted.

It looked natural. Not planned at all. As they asked it to be.

🤍

Minho:
good filming

Jisung:
[sticker]

His chat with Minho was strange. 

They knew each other's schedule now and the team had asked them to text each other throughout the day.  They rarely did and if it happened, it was plain. The stickers were completely emotionless and, if someone said Jisung was talking with the CEO of the company, he wouldn't disagree.

He blocked his phone screen and let out a sigh, looking through the mirror to where Seungmin and Jeongin were. He wanted to laugh with them about the ridiculousness of it, but they couldn't. Contractwise, talk about this in public was prohibited. Also, he was sure his hair dresser was glancing at his phone while she worked. 

As one of the managers stated: “Even though staff members sign a confidentiality agreement, some information may get leaked by them and, in this matter, it can be really beneficial to the Project, so remember to use this information wisely”. 

"Cut!" the director shouted, and soon, the final pose formation was gone. "That was a good one!".

They reunited around the little screen. The stylist team were around them, offering hand fans, water and towels, while micro adjustments in their clothes, hair and makeup were being made.

It was good to finally have a more upbeat song as a title track. It was something their fans had been asking for a long time and, truthfully, he was excited to bring more joy to the stage, even if the choreography brought little difficulties to keep their voices stable.

"We can take a break now," the director said on the microphone. "I was informed there's a truck outside. After that we will just take some solo shots for the teasers and that’s it!".

Happy noises and some laughter because of someone's comment took the hangar. It happened before, when they were filming their debut MV, but the company didn’t usually send trucks anymore. It was quite expensive and, well, it was crystal clear they had the girl groups as their favorites.

"Oh! Minho sunbaenim sent us a truck?"

How could he forget?

It was an intern idea, in one of the meetings. "It will be great behind the scenes content!", she said. “The truck would be directed to the group but, with all theories we will hopefully get, the true ‘receptor’, for the audience, would be Jisung.”

In front of the truck, there was already a staff taking pictures of it, probably to upload on Instagram. Also, the girls with the hand camera and the small spotlight were also ready to get the footage as usual. 

Their reaction to the food and its sweet smell, some anecdotes and thank you ’s while they waited and finally, their tasting to the heavenly crispy, warm and sweet pancakes was all recorded. And just after that, the other crew members ordered their food as well.

Soon, Jisung found a secluded place to rest for some time. He could still see all the crew working, but there, at least, there were no cameras he had to look good for. Jeongin joined him in no time, and they enjoyed the snack in silence.

Recording was a fun experience overall but, after two full days plus who knows how many more hours, the thing just turned into an easily prone place to get a headache. The hotteok did its trick to cover any possible sting his head was preparing and Jisung felt like he had to thank Minho, even if it was planned beforehand. 

Jisung: 
hey
thank you for the truck
the hotteok was really good
[sticker]

Surprisingly, the answer didn’t took hours to come.

Minho:
oh?
did I send one? haha
guess it was the managers, but glad you liked it!

It was expected, but at the same time… It wasn't…

Maybe he was hoping that Minho himself would have sent the truck after all.

At his side, Jeongin choked a little and, at what Jisung turned to him, ready to help, the other just started laughing.

He had read the messages, of course . Jisung wanted to roll his eyes but instead, the comment that followed actually made his mood a little better.

"Well, is good to see the company is finally wasting money on us again"

🤍

He hoped the intern had her own desk by now, because her idea worked flawlessly.

After the Instagram stories about the truck Minho (didn't) sent,  it only took some minutes for the first post to be created. By the time Jisung was awake, the next day, the post about his and Minhos's suspicious "closeness" for the past few weeks was already trending on the forums.

Similar messages on the paid app and same song recommendations to Minho mentioning him and his group in fancalls and Seungmin’s Radio as the videos attached showed. Along with that, a small compilation of Jisung mentioning Minho or his former group on various occasions, since his debut.

The TikTok’s Minho recorded some time ago, for his first comeback after being discharged from the military (to which he decided to go earlier than needed),  was brought to attention as well. What they were saying was that Minho seemed to be suppressing an emotion when he was with Jisung, compared to other artists he recorded with. With Jisung he was trying not to show how happy he was to finally be able to do a silly challenge with his boyfriend. Or better: “they hadn’t seen each other for so long that every little moment was like the happiest!”

Yeah, well, Jisung wouldn’t be the one to break their hearts telling them how Minho seems to hate TikTok, and having to record the same thing at least five times in a row wasn't the best scenario either. To be honest, if he remembers clearly, his round needed 3 takes to satisfy the staff.

And old “moments” received a special place in those analyses as well. That one time in their first award show where Jisung tripped and Minho helped him? Obviously the greatest show of affection and love, not just someone making sure the other wouldn't be hurt.

Their connection was old, but the relationship was new. That’s why they couldn’t keep things to themselves anymore. So much time bantering over each other that when they finally realized their feelings everyone should know as well. 

The company must be really happy to see the fans are crazier than them in creating those narratives.

One of the big selling point to this theory for both fandoms 一 and the general public to a lesser extent 一 was their cafe date photos. Strategically measured angles to show just the tip of the other’s drink really made people believe they were together. Minho’s passion in discovering new places to eat plus Jisung’s taste in coffee and patisserie just seemed like a great combo in their heads. Also, his fans seemed glad Minho was making his hermit self go out more.

And this was the last proof presented to why “Lee Know and Pure D’s Han could be dating”.

The funny thing about those “date photos”  is that in none of them they were really together.

The photos Jisung sent? He just found it cute how the cafeteria near the company was decorating the cafes for their birthday week. Minho on the other hand… clearly he was with someone, and as he never acknowledged who it was, people just guessed it was Jisung for whatever reason.

He was impressed how fans could really create a narrative if they really wanted to. And the others would most likely believe it anyway.

[Comments under “Lee Know and Pure D’s Han could be dating and here’s why”]

[+ 93, – 17] Random but really sus. Guess we never really know about our idols lives

[+ 91, – 46] Ahhh happy for them ^^ they look cute together

[+ 79, – 37] Recommending popular songs is one thing but sharing these old ass songs no one knows about…

[+ 67, – 86] Another gay couple? Is that a new criteria to become an idol?

[+ 64, – 23] Coffee dates are the best! Must’ve been that what brought them together

[+ 63, – 82] The company is using Minho’s fame to promote this flop group lol

[+ 55, – 24] Wondering what the company did that made these two want to spoil everything~

[+ 54, – 18] Never expected this but Jisung must be so happy!!

[+ 30, – 41] Sending trucks to his ***** but can’t even congratulate Jaebeom for his first baby… Minho is really disgusting

Earlier that day, Minho had posted some photos of nature because he probably went for a walk or something. In the middle of his dump, there was a really zoomed in photo of a blue flower. Hours later, the last concept for Pure D's comeback was released. They were surrounded by flowers in three colors: purple, red and blue, which was the same for their individual photo set. Seungmin had the purple set; Jeongin, the red one; and finally Jisung with the blue one.

And it was at this moment Jisung realized how easy it was to create a rumor over the most random things and have people believing in it.

He didn't know if the managers told Minho to post a photo of a blue flower that exact day, but he  wanted to believe it was just coincidence. The fans, on the other hand, believed Minho spoiled his hoobaes last concept. It didn't take long for the theorizing to come and, as a result, they concluded that, in the language of love, the blue symbolizes love at first sight, or also called the "Romeo and Juliet" type of love. Real but dangerous. This concept was about this. This concept was a way the company found to acknowledge their love, tell something was happening between them.

Jisung felt his stomach twitching. Things kinda made sense if this symbolism was really true.

Had they planned it all since the beginning? How long have they been plotting this? And for what reason?

[LOVERS PROJECT MEETING]

[...]

Minho: Sorry, I don’t think I’m understanding this correctly. You will hire stalkers to stay near my house so you can have Jisung’s photos? Isn’t it easier to just take some photos and that's it? 

Manager 1: The thing is that we have to make this look real–

Minho: So you will hire someone to stay in front of my building? Like, I’ll have to live my life knowing there is someone somewhere seeing everything I’m doing again? No privacy, again?

Director:  Are you doing something wrong, Minho?

Minho: N-no, but it is my right to want privacy! Last year you dealt with that girl who was following me up and down and now you are forcing me to live it all over again?

Manager 2: They will be trustworthy people, hired by us. And if things get too uncomfortable we will plan something else.

Staff: And– and I guess it will be no problem for you to meet the photographers, if this makes you feel more comfortable. 

Director: Anything you want to add, Jisung?

Jisung: I– um– I guess it’s fine for me but isn’t it too much for sunbaenim? Like, staying for an hour or two in his house is something but sleeping…? I– I don’t– we don't have that much intimacy and I– well, we both have different schedules and there’s our comeback so– you know? I don’t want to disturb his routine–

Minho: Me neither.

Director: Look, {heavy sigh} this stage is really important for this project, but we can push it further, if needed.

Manager 1: Lastly, we worked on your content suggestion, Jisung, and, if everything works out, we expect the first episode to be released the same week of your comeback. Well, more meetings will be done regarding this but we are planning that the last episode for this year will be with Minho. It will be the first content you will be together and it came to our attention that we never really gave you time to get to know each other outside of work. We don’t expect you to be best friends, but just find a common ground between you two in a way your dynamics will work for the cameras. I know you are both professionals but we can’t advertise two people being in love and when the content is released, they barely know each other. So, we made a restaurant reservation and we expect you to talk and get to know each other a little more.

Minho: And what is this content?

Manager 1: Oh, yes, I forgot the major information right? Anyway, it will be posted on the company’s channel, and it will be about our artist showing their favorite songs and telling the story behind it, the reason they like it or whatever. Its rules are very loose so each episode can be special on its own, and really show why music is important for their lives. Our plan is having one artist for each group of ours to be a guest in this first year and, if the reception is good, we’ll continue the next year, with the other artists. The first episode will be just Jisung and then he will become somewhat like a MC. For your episode, Minho, the only thing we will ask is for you to add some song that could relate to this relationship we are advertising, and then, obviously, we could help in trying to create a story for this. You are a great actor, afterall.

Minho: I just listen to break up songs.

Manager 1: There are a lot of break up songs where the personas can’t be together but they still love each other. It is not that difficult, Minho. Limbo is like that, am I right?

Director: Right, uh {cough}, regarding your reservation tonight, as it will be in a public space it is important to remember to keep things natural. You need to look like you have a lot of intimacy, but are trying to tone it down because you are in public. Just like if  you were in a real relationship.

[...]  

[END OF THE MEETING]

Something fishy was really happening in that company.

First this “project” and now a reservation at a fancy restaurant, all paid with the company card, so they could know each other better? Since when did they care about that? Shouldn’t they do this kind of thing before choosing the final lineup for a new group they would be releasing?

Seungmin's words had been carved into his mind and, now thinking, this scandal the company was probably going through would definitely throw fire on everything if the public discovered what it was about. 

As planned in the meeting, Minho would arrive 20 to 30 minutes later than Jisung, to be somehow suspect but not enough to make people doubt its truthfulness. Everything was so confusing. And not even the appetizers were enough to keep Jisung fully distracted. 

The way he was nervous would be really funny if it wasn’t tragic. His mind was acting like this was a set-up for a real date, the one people shouldn’t know about. All the secureness of it and how it was planned really gave this vibe. Jeongin had gone on a few of them before and always described it like this. The difference was that it gave excitement to his body. Jisung just wanted to disappear.

Other than that, just having dinner with Minho was already strange for his mind to accept. When he was younger, of course he had dreamed about meeting, befriending and eating with all his favorite artists and now it was happening? He felt he was back in the body of that kinda strange teenager again.

If being alone with Minho was already a frightening concept, having this happening under these circumstances was really making this a tougher quest than it needed to be. Ugh!

Minho’s arrival didn’t make things better. Their table was in a secluded place, but still, Jisung could see two of the staff members clearly talking about him and Minho, who was coming in his direction, accompanied by the host.

Maybe the two weren’t saying bad things but just the probability of it made Jisung anxious.

“Here’s your table, Mr. Lee”

“Thank you.”

Out of instinct, Jisung got up from his chair, ready to greet his sunbae.

“Stop,” Minho said in a low voice, while he took off his coat “don’t be so formal.”

“Ah, right” Jisung sat again, uncomfortable, not knowing where to look. 

They were on a date after all. Why would he be so formal in a context like this, right?

"You know, you should've said you hated the idea," Minho said, sitting on the chair at his side. "they could've turned it down."

There wasn't exactly an expression on his face, and his voice was the same expressionless tone in it.

“It was literally the first time my name trended this high and you think they would listen to me?” he said in a lighthearted way, hoping the comment would ease some of the tension. Maybe it wasn't the best thing Jisung could have done, seeing Minho still had the same stern look on his eyes. “Sorry.”

They got immersed on their menus, choosing what to order and soon, the food had arrived. In the meantime, they stayed in complete silence, Minho mostly on his phone and Jisung wondering what he could say or do to make the situation a little more comfortable for both of them.

“So…” Jisung tried, brave enough to take a look at Minho’s face “Where should–”

“Let's just eat, alright? We don’t need to make things uncomfortable”

As if it wasn’t already.

The thing with Minho is that his mind seemed to be really fucked up. Or he just didn't care about Jisung. At all.

Seungmin wanted to shout this exact words or just tell Minho to to fuck off and do his job properly, not caring if it would be disrespectful of him. 

God, how could he just worry his hoobae more and more about the future? And not even following a contract they signed?

But he knew better his rage would do nothing for the situation. The company would still keep this project alive and Jisung would just feel more guilty about everything because, apparently, he must have his reasons .

Jisung was too good for this world.

So, all he did was listen to his friend cry and pat his back while Jeongin hugged him. 

"This comeback won't fail, hyung. We will not disband because of you. Nothing is confirmed yet, and even so, people seem excited about the probability of you two. There's nothing to really worry about''

Just Minho himself , Seungmin though. 

"I'll need to stay with sunbaenim for a while. In his house." 

“What?”

"When?"

"Next week and so on?” Jisung had calmed down, but his voice was still broken “They want this started as fast as possible"

"During our comeback?" Jisung's face was enough to answer the question. 

Now that was a strange move.

Seungmin and Jeongin's eyes met and they seemed to agree to say nothing. Jisung just needed them to be with him, not opinions or advice.

And truthfully, Seungmin started to get where all Jisung’s worries were coming from. Even if he wanted to keep a positive vision about all this, he understood everything could really turn into a snowball and destroy everything in seconds.

That night, staring at his own ceiling, Jisung though better about the reasons to why Minho was acting that way:

1. He was dating someone else but could say nothing to the company. Maybe he was dating a guy, was afraid to tell the company before, and now was put into this mess. It was like he was cheating on his real boyfriend, even if what we had with Jisung was far from reality;
2.  He, Han Jisung, was the worst person on earth. Boring, unbearable to be with, to the point where even all the acting training wasn't sufficient to suppress Minho's real feelings towards him;
3. All rumors were actually true. He was mean towards everyone. He acted like he was the center of the universe. He wasn't that good and sweet person he made himself look when he was in his former group.

Quickly, he put on his headphones and some blasting music not really adequate for sleeping time. He really didn't want to think about it anymore.

[Twitter post – 22:43]
omg so my parents wanted to go to this fancy restaurant and i had no choice but go with them and now i have a photo with han jisung???
[image attached]
but really hes very sweet and his voice irl is so 🫠 i think im in love 
also prob wrong about this one but i think i saw lee know arriving too? not familiar with how he looks in normal clothes tho
no wait what if that dating rumors were right and they were on a date?

[Twitter post – 03:25]
I think I need to search more about those kpop groups now that I’m living in Korea… It seems I was tending two idols and my co-worker was freaking out because they were probably on a date?
Guys, if they date like this in Korea I don’t wanna be here anymore… How do you call it a date when they look so uncomfortable with each other ☠️☠️

[Twitter post – 09:14]
OP was on a date yesterday and she met Lee Know at the restaurant! She said he laughed brightly when she told him she was happy to see him acting as the antagonist! Also he signed her purse because she had nowhere else where he could do it 😂

“ You aren’t just tired Jisung ”

“Maybe not,” he started, eyes fixed on his phone as if his brother could see him “but there’s nothing you can do about it so I’m just tired”

“ You are insufferable ”

“I know”

Silence settled between them and, for a few seconds, Jisung closed his eyes. Their schedule was packed with variety shows to promote their new album plus all the training and final rehearsals that filled the rest of the day. And to his luck, for the past few days he hasn't been able to fall asleep as quickly as he would like, reducing his sleep time a lot.

“ Is it because of Lee Know? ” Jisung growled and looked at his phone again “ You know, mom was just confused as to why you hadn't told her earlier… ”

Because there is nothing to tell. Because he can’t tell anything. Because he was afraid.

Jisung closed his eyes again. 

“ ... talked to her and I don’t think she meant it in a bad way. Is just… ”

Just shut up, please.

“ ... different generations, I guess… You know, same sex relationships. ”

“It is really not that simple, hyung. And also we–”

Jisung could totally say they weren’t a thing, this was never real, that they didn’t even talk to each other but… It could ruin everything. His brother would tell his mom that would tell the neighbors that would tell their relatives and so on. Somewhere somehow, this would end up on the internet and people would be scandalized that they were put in a trap. The company would discover and then Jisung’s career would be over because he broke the contract. 

“-we’ve been just talking… people are making a fuss over it”

“ I mean, you do whatever you want, I’m happy for you no matter what but… Isn’t it better to tone down a little? You saw what happened to those idols… ”

Minhyuk and Jooheon. People got mad. They were afraid of going outside for months but, in the end, people just got over this. They surely lost a lot of fans 一 should they be called fans in the first place? 一 but they also gained a lot too. Either way, his situation was different. His relationship was fake, and the company would protect them.

At least that was what he hoped.

And Jisung knew his brother was just trying to understand the situation, probably ready to put some thought on his head if it was not clear all the danger it could bring to his career. But Jisung knew it already, he lived immersed in that industry and again, he could do nothing about it. The company was planning everything and all he had to do was stick to their plans.

The notification sound brought Jisung back to reality and, in there, he saw his chance to end the conversation.

“Hyung, I need to go. My manager just texted me”

“ At ten at night? ”

“Ectic work hours, you know. Is it that difficult to believe I’m just tired?”

He ended the call and he knew his brother wouldn’t really mind the way it ended. He was stressed just like every week before their comebacks. It was a normal occurrence at this point in time.

In his notification bar, three new messages from “Mine💛”.

It seemed simple when the managers explained the idea to him: because Minho wasn’t helping in “promoting” their relationship the way they wanted, Jisung would have access to his Bubble and, to every message he sent, he would try to transform it in an opportunity to say, somehow, they were together. A night sky photo? The next day Jisung would talk about how chilly the night was. Minho was asking for dinner suggestions? Jisung could send on his Bubble he was craving for a homemade meal. Simple, in theory, but when all Minho sent was just  a bunch of random things, this task got a hundred times more difficult.

Right now, a close up photo of his eyes. But like, really close. And no context with it.

He exited Minho’s chat and decided to go on his own. He always seemed to forget it existed in the first place.

My Destiny:
You liked the album teaser?
It’s good right~
Yes the lyrics is refreshing
So winter won’t be sad
[sticker]
I’m excited for the stages!
It’s been a long time since our last happy song
Noo I won’t spoil anything this time
[sticker]
Just wait a little longer~

After sending the last message, he started rolling the chat, so he could read some of the messages that were sent before. Some fans were happy and excited about the comeback, others just talked about their day and there were those who sent love poems to him. It was cute and very inspiring. Also, a great way to spend time without noticing. Ten Minutes had passed before his notification bar indicated another image sent by Minho in his bubble 一 the photo of the other eye 一 and so, after this, Jisung decided it was better to go back to his training. 

🤍

Jisung woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. On the line, his manager asked him to be at the company building by 7 o’clock. Good for him that he had slept there, he guesses. 

It wasn’t by choice, obviously, but what he could do when he was tired and the chair from the studio room was comfortable enough?

He stretched his arms and unlocked the computer again. The track that was open on the program sounded like any other track in the world, and the worst part of it? It was bad. 

[The document ‘Untitled’ has been modified. Do you want to save it?]

Clearly no.

Searching in his bag, he had a cereal bar which would have to be his breakfast. They would finally start filming for the content the company created and in this first episode, Jisung solo, they would be going to a dog café. Cute idea and Jisung had never heard of them before, so it was cool. And he was hoping they would let him eat there as well. 

He was curious on how it would work though. The company asked him to send the song list plus a short explanation for each of them beforehand. Also, asked him to train his singing for those same songs. And his mom may have leaked that she was excited to come to Seoul somewhere this week, and seeing that she dyed her hair and made her nails, she would probably make an appearance in this.  

Maybe this would be the fun part of this content. The little surprises the staff prepared for the artists. There was a song he put on the list that always made him remember the time when he lived with his parents, so his supposition was coherent. If it was really it, that was a nice idea, at least for the artists. If the public would like it, it was another story. 

The café, together with the scenario, was simple. He would be sitting on the ground, so the dogs would be caught by the cameras and the interaction between him and the animals more likely to happen. At his side, a little table with a laptop and some snacks and drinks prepared for him to consume throughout the filming session. 

When the recording started, he made an introduction and the dogs were welcomed to the room. They were surprisingly calm and quiet, just making him company while he showed the songs and explained why they were put in there. The staff would question him here and there about something, keeping the conversation longer. After, their voices would be edited out. It was very comfortable in a way he wasn’t expecting. It never was this comfortable when he had solo schedules. 

Near the end, a familiar voice came to his ears, and there, his mom carrying Bbama. His face lit up in a smile and soon he was on his feet, going in their direction. The camera directors were following him but, because of privacy reasons, he knew these scenes would be blurred out anyway. But it was cute to have this recorded, he thought. The end of the episode was with Bbama on his lap not letting him talk and really, having his mom watching made him more shy than a crew of 100 ever did. 

When the cameras were off, the first thing his mom did was actually tell him she was sorry for the way she phrased her message. He was an adult and was free to love whoever he wanted, she just worried about all the hate he could and probably would receive for exposing this aspect of his life.

For a moment, he was confused, but then he remembered all the fiasco that happened right before he went back to Seoul after the Chuseok holidays. And the reason for his brother to have called him the other day. He had asked them to stop talking about Minho and the rumors but when they didn’t he just left his parents home a few hours earlier than planned. Their phone calls and messages never got answered until he was back to the dorm, far enough for them to not follow him. A childish move, but he was tired and stressed about all of this stupid plan.

He was alright, though. So he explained that they were just talking still, and the company was aware of what was happening between them, so no harm would happen to his nor Minho’s lives and careers. She still seemed skeptical but maybe, because of the short time they had, she just brushed everything off and focused on the last minutes they still had before their schedule caught up again. She had to return to Incheon and he had a full schedule today.

🤍

It was very convenient that Jisung was the designated one to flirt with Minho during the music show interview. And also very convenient that Minho simply chose not to follow the script and completely turned him down. It was said in a funny way, everyone laughed and Jeongin continued explaining the song just as if nothing unusual had happened. And, although Han, the idol, kept his energy the same as before, Jisung, the ordinary, couldn’t help but wonder if he was trying too much.

Obviously it was a part of his job. A task designated to him. But, truthfully, all those things the company wanted them to do was really needed? Even the real couples in the industry didn’t expose their relationship that much, so why exactly would they?

Still, he had a contract to follow, and by no means he was the company favorite as Minho seemed to be. At first it was all rumors, a way to explain why Minho was the only one that stayed at the company after his group decided not to renew the contract, but seeing that Minho can say and do whatever he want, maybe the throne was really his afterall.

Surprisingly, the managers didn’t demand any “cafe dates” or songs to be posted by them during the promotions. People talking and over analyzing the lyrics appeared to be enough for them, and his song a little bit too sad for someone dating, but maybe “it was an old song, when Minho was still in the military”. And his failed attempt to flirt gained a good talk in social media too. And for a moment, Jisung though they had forgot about the plans for him to go to Minho’s house, but they always made sure to ask Minho to keep his house ready for it (they really take the “take work home” too seriously), and made sure to make a presentation to all photographers that could be going there. 

It was ridiculous.

The two week promotions ended as a success (with one win!). By the end of the last music show, still in the fitting rooms, Jisung could almost read on Jeongin’s face, in uppercase bold letters, a big “I told you so”. He was too polite to say it out loud. 

But he was happy Jeongin was right, and maybe, he really was overreacting about all the disbandment thing. One unusual thing he noticed is that his energy drained faster than usual, probably because of all the questions and short conversations in fan events. “Are you close to Minho?”, “Since when have you talked with each other?”, “He was your favorite?”, “What would be your ideal date destination?” 一 he was happy the fans had the decency to not cross the line and straight up question if they were dating 一 or because of the increasing of hate comments under his posts. Everyone always said to him not to worry about them and all those things and Han was really good at ignoring them, really. The problem was that, after leaving the schedules, all that remained was Jisung himself, the one that cared too much about feedback and what people were saying about him. The one highly affected by those. 

Why were they so mad about a story created by fan’s? How could they believe them so blindly? Why go to his posts and spill all that shit to him? And all of this because of something that wasn’t even real in the first place? It is so unfair.

🤍

Minho’s apartment was smaller than he expected. And simpler than he thought someone so famous would have. His sofa seemed comfortable instead of just fancy and he was sure the television they had at the dorm was slightly better. The only thing really impressive was his kitchen. Pretty counters and appliances and some things he wasn’t even sure what they did. And as Minho didn’t have a spare room for him, he would have to sleep on the couch. For almost one week.

At this point, all the things the company asked them to do seemed to be irrelevant. “This is important for your bonding experience since the restaurant one didn’t have the results we expected” so they would put them to live together . It was like they were playing with dolls. Or them both were put in some kind of experiment to see how fast someone could fall for 一 or just end up hating 一 each other.

Cool .

And the “bonding experience” actually didn’t happen on the first day. After presenting the apartment, Minho just separated a key copy of the apartment for him, a futon and a pillow and then went to his own bedroom, telling him to feel comfortable and ask him if he needed anything more. And then Jisung was alone in a house he didn’t know. How could he be comfortable like this?

He stayed in the middle of the room for what felt hours, just looking around. He wanted to laugh. It was ridiculous .

How could Minho just leave him like this in his own house? And Jisung got it, it was already late and Minho had had a busy day, but still… Wasn’t it a bit strange?

Jisung took another quick look in the living room and decided to settle himself at the kitchen table for the time being. He wasn’t tired yet so maybe he could try and work on some tracks. Or write some things if he started to feel overwhelmed by it.

To his surprise (really not), things didn’t get better in the following days: Minho almost lived in his own room, just leaving it to grab some snacks or quick food in the kitchen, the fancy appliances never being used.

“Do you want something? I’m ordering-”

“I already ate, thank you”

"Hi! You want a drink? I bought two"

"I'm alright"

"This one is orange and this is chocolate, chose one"

"I'm fine."

"No, really, grab one"

"They are too sweet, I don't like it"

"Snacks?"

"I'm on diet"

Jisung:
i think sunbaenim doesn't eat??
he hasn't even accepted the drinks I bought??

Seungmin:
maybe he is just tired
you said he always arrive really late

Jisung:
yes but a drink?

Jeongin:
maybe he just don't like eating with people

Jisung:
or just with me
i don't think someone can live a normal life eating alone all the time
it's sad

Seungmin:
i could
you just like company

Jisung:
so I'm the problem?

Seungmin:
that's not what I said
people are just different

Jeongin:
you know you can leave right?
or just eat with us and then go to sunbaenim house later

Jisung:
yes but I don't want to arrive late
it's strange
and we need to have the bonding experience

Seungmin:
but he don't want to so maybe it's better to just live your life
you really like having company when eating
don’t do everything the company wants
it’s better for you to be well mentally and physically than stick to this plan

🤍

Jisung was at the company when the first real article, written by the gossip journalists, went up to the trendings. His manager had sent him the link, Seungmin asked if he had already seen it, his family started messaging him nonstop and it seemed like all the staff, artists and trainees he saw in the corridors were judging him for his “inconsequential acts”. When one of the project managers knocked on the training room, Jisung finally had the courage to look up the link everyone had sent him. 

As she had said, the overall reaction was good. The surprised face was the most clicked one and majority of the top comments weren’t anything bad. Actually, they were kinda hopeful on how the idols were feeling more comfortable in sharing their relationships with the public. 

Jisung wondered if they had actually read the article in its entirety. The things that were “proving” they were together were all the photos taken and posted by a third person claiming it was them, once the mask they usually wear hide most of the face. Maybe, for their minds, being a public figure means you are willing to let all your life be publicly posted and talked about. If they go out together, it means they want people to know about it , not just them being two people wanting to have a dating experience like everyone else in the world can. Not that they were dating or Jisung was staying in his house purely because they were close, but the idea stays the same.

And actually, the post comments start to get a lot harsher after scrolling a little more. They are doing it for publicity ; Han just using Minho for money and fame ; How can someone still likes Lee know after all the rumors about him and his group ; It’s so strange how everyone in the industry just decided to be gay . To sum up, a lot of people calling him a gold digger; a lot of people calling Minho somewhat like an abuser; others telling how this was disgusting, that they hoped it was fake because “my idol clearly doesn’t like men that way”.

Why were the managers so happy about it?

Seungmin and Jeongin met him in a burger place near the company for dinner, even if it was kinda early for it. The usual short period between big schedules was actually the time they used to really sit and talk to each other. The possibility to schedule the training sessions for when they wanted, and the fewer contents to record gave them some more time than they would get in normal occasions.

As much as Jisung didn’t want to talk about the plan, it was inevitable. Both were worried about Jisung and, while speaking in codes, they (again) tried to understand why Jisung needed to be in Minho’s house. Everytime they tried to get more answers than Jisung could give them. 

“Both of you know how to act in front of the cameras. Why do they need this?”

“I don’t know”

“When will this end?”

Staying with Minho should have ended some days before, but the managers asked for some more time. The plan? “I don’t know”

“What happens after they confirm you two are dating?”

“I don’t know”

“You can be honest with us, Sung. It’s kinda logical for us to know what is happening…”

He knew it. He obviously knew it was logical. The managers should be keeping both of them updated about everything that was happening, but what could they say when it was their fault Jisung had no answers?

Both of them were staring at him in a way that made Jisung slightly uncomfortable. Their eyes looked worried, and Jisung felt bad for being the reason behind it. Still, he still had nothing to say.

Seungmin came near to the center of the table, and his voice sounded softer when he said: “I mean, they put you in a strange spot and I guess it would be no surprise if you two grow attached with each other, you know? There’s no problem if you don’t want this to end…”

All this time they were really thinking Jisung was lying to them? Hiding something?

“It’s just…” Jeongin reached his hands “we want you to be happy, you know? We just want to know if you are alright…”

“I’m not hiding anything” his hands took place in his lap and he couldn’t look at his friends anymore “We really don’t talk, I really don’t know when this will end and I really miss the dorm”

A long breath and a silence was set on their table. Jisung noticed that his lap was covered by little napkin pieces he didn’t notice he was tearing apart.

This was supposed to be a funny experience. Something Minho and him could do with no problem and then just joke about it. Maybe something like an RPG, something fun, something that could make them become friends. How cool wouldn’t it be? But instead, he felt he was getting lonelier.

It wasn’t supposed to be difficult.

“I just–” his voice failed him “I just fear if I don’t do what they want we will end”

But realistically, what did the company want with this? Were they just being lab rats for some kind of social experiment?

He didn’t need to say anything more for Seungmin and Jeongin to understand what he was talking about. What were the chances for a group that started as a quintet to survive as a duo, especially when they were not the money makers of the company?

They both had all the talent to keep going, but was it worth it? If one more member left the group, they would probably go back to square zero, needing to conquer new fans all over again. All the work they’ve made for the past three years would be going all down the hill. 

How was it possible that a single article released in the middle of the day would make the rest of it completely awful? And it would be a lot worse if he decided to go to social media to see all the unfiltered reactions this probably had caused.

First the meeting with Seungmin and Jeongin; then his mom called, screaming and crying about how he doesn't tell her anything anymore, how this relationship could affect his career and image and a lot of things he already knew and was trying not to think about. He decided to end the call abruptly, though. Really rude of him, but it looked better than keeping this conversation going. They would end up fighting anyway, and Minho’s house wasn’t exactly the best place for this to happen, especially when he didn't know when he would be arriving. Imagine arriving home after a long day of work and having your guest (if he could call himself so) screaming on the phone about some article saying you two are dating? It would surely be more awkward than it needed to be. 

But maybe he could've fought his mom and ended the discussion properly, once Minho was yelling the second he put his foot on his apartment. Fuck that it was almost 1AM and fuck that the neighbors might be hearing too, scream about how Jisung was a freak seemed more important. And when Jisung asked, trying to keep his cool to not get mad at him as well, there seemed to be fire in Minho's eyes.

"You are staying in my house, have access to my fucking bubble, make everything about you and still ask what's wrong ? How did I let a fucking weirdo stay in my house?"

Why was everyone mad at him? Especially Minho. He knows what this is about. He signed the contract. He knows how the company simply didn't explain things well. He was in the same place as Jisung but still…

"You know it's not my fault, right? You remember that you signed a damn contract as well, right?" 

Minho seemed surprised that Jisung decided to speak.

"Do you think I like receiving  hundreds of messages per minute of you counting something? Do you really think I simply chose to do all those things?"

"Have you tried to stop being their puppet? It's not–"

Jisung felt his blood boiling. He wanted to be as far as possible from there. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry.

"We are under a fucking contract, Minho!" He shouted and a knot formed on his throat and his eyes were burning "If you can not follow it, good for you, really. If I don't do it, they will just kick me out and then all my career is over"

Jisung took a deep breath. They were closer than he remembered. He was sure he could see the anger in Minhos's eyes and, just like this, he was probably seeing the hurt in Jisung's. 

This made Jisung back off to recompose himself a little. He didn't want to cry in front of him. So, never really meeting his sunbae eyes, in the most adult voice he could muster, he finished the discussion:

"It's not my choice to decide whether I do it or not. I still live in the dorms, I don't have enough money nor fame to be by myself in this industry and I don't have a degree. I really envy you, that you can simply not follow a contract and will be alright. But this is not my reality"

Silence was reined in that apartment in a way it never did and he felt he needed to do something. He was afraid the few tears escaping his eyes were being heard.

His head was hurting and he wanted to be as far from there as he could.

"You know," Jisung's turned to minho's direction again, eyes still on the floor and his hands in the doorknob, ready to open it "I didn't though it would be so difficult since we basically just needed to act like friends but– but I guess I was wrong…"

As soon as Jisung stepped out from the building lobby, tears started rolling free from his eyes, silently, because he didn't want to cause commotion if people heard him. He also didn't have the courage to just wander around until he felt better. He was scared, so all he did was sit in front of the planters and cry everything he wanted.

He should've at least brought his phone with him.

This part of the city was extremely quiet, so when bushes or random sounds came to his ears, he wondered what animals were hiding there. 

He would love to be with Bbama now. He hopped one of the hidden stray animals would take pity and come to comfort him.

But it didn't happen. Instead, just the cold breeze attacked him, shirt and pants barely doing its job of keeping him from freezing.

He blamed this on Minho's good house heat system. And blamed his state on Minho as well. He is aware of the plan and is older. He was the only one Jisung thought wouldn't scream at him because of the things that were happening.

"Get up"

The familiar voice resonated on his ears, but he couldn't draw a face to it.

Jisung frowned before his crusty eyes were open. From the way he was seated, he could see the person at his side was using slippers with socks.

His eyes closed again. What was he doing here?

"C'mon, it's freezing"

Did he cried himself to sleep or his body was starting to shut down because of (probably) hypothermia? Whatever the answer was, both situations were frightening. Still, he just wanted to stay there for the rest of the day, away from everyone, until he had to go for his schedules.

Something was thrown on his back and soon Minho was hugging him, trying to lift him off the ground. His body wasn't helping though, and Jisung couldn't really tell if he lost control of it or if he was doing it on purpose.

"Stop it. You will die, Jisung"

When his eyes open, Jisung sees a dim light coming from the kitchen. His body is sweating probably because the hight amount of blankets over him. Trying to move his body, everything was hurting.

How is this day not over yet?

He should just go back to sleep at this point, but he couldn't. His body didn't let him do so.

"You are awake already?" It was rhetorical, accompanied with a surprised tone.

Jisung stayed quiet.

"Are you feeling better? There's warm water in the mug"

Still no response, and he could see Minho starting to feel uneasy.

The strange thing about all of this is that Minho seemed to be a completely different person from earlier today, or even, the whole time they talked.

Maybe he really almost died.

Call him weak, but  Jisung liked to believe everyone had a better version of them. That they could, and would , do better. Either way, he could keep his silence for some more minutes, or until Minho apologized with words. Just to be sure .

But he did look at Minho, in the eyes, with some kind of annoyed expression.

Minho seemed unfazed by this, but it worked nonetheless. Faster than he thought it would. It came in a weak voice, almost as it would hurt him if he said it louder. But it worked for Jisung, who just gave a slight head shake, accepting his apologies. But still, he stayed silent.

"There were cameras in front of the building, so I went to tell them to go away but then I saw you" Minho made his way to the kitchen, almost talking to himself. He didn't seem to expect to hear Jisung's voice anymore. 

"I thought you had gone for a walk… If I knew you would stay there freezing I would have come earlier" sure you would "I'm no specialist, but I think you were almost dying"

Should I thank my superhero eternally and give you a true love kiss now? Jisung wanted to roll his eyes. If all that shit hadn't happened, he wouldn't have almost died.

"I was going to call your manager to tell you were sick, but I guess you will be going to work tomorrow, now"

It was an attempt at a funny comment, but Minho wasn't that good with it. And the moment wasn’t near ideal for this.

"Right…" Minho felt defeated.

Looking at the center table, he took the mug in one hand and his phone on the other. Several messages from his family and some calls too, which he decided to ignore. 

And maybe, he should just ignore his phone altogether. Nothing good would come from it right now.

"I made soup. Is better for you to eat a little."

Jisung was a weak man.

No. He just thought it was better to be on good terms with the guy that opened his house for him for God knows how long.

And he was hungry as well.

On the four seat table, they seatted on opposite sides not facing each other, and the vast majority of the dinner they stayed quiet. It wasn't that awkward thanks to the TV Minho decided to keep on. Jisung wasn't facing it, but just having the sound playing made his nerves calm down a lot. 

It took the episode of whatever reality show Minho was watching to end for him to speak again.

"You are not a bad person, Jisung." his eyes never left the device. He just lowered its sound and talked over it. "I think I just made you into one"

Minho really felt guilty, it seemed. In this short time he tried to apologize many times already. And still, Jisung just stayed quiet. 

What should he say right now? Sorry you made me into a bad person ? Thank you for realizing I'm not a bad person ?

"Why?"

Maybe it would be better for him to have stayed quiet. And maybe it was what Minho was expecting too, if his surprised face was something to go about. 

Maybe his plan was to just throw those words away and let Jisung do whatever he wanted with them.

"I think I got scared you were a fan" It sounded like a question, as if he wasn't sure of himself. Jisung followed his eyes going from the television to his almost empty plate. "I mean, I’m really touched that our group was that big of an influence on your life, but everything seemed so sketchy for me… I think it was like a defensive system– the way I acted, I mean…"

Jisung just let the words sink in. He didn't know what to say nor if he should say something at all.

All that Minho said made sense in some way. It was all over the news when that "fan" stalked him everyday, everywhere for months. It must have been a traumatic experience, he couldn't deny. And suddenly, having a fan inside your house, even if he is an idol too, surely wouldn’t be that easy to accept. Still, that didn't mean he could straight up act this way. He could've just asked the managers or even talked to him. And the strangest thing from it all was why Minho thinks he has so much power over the management team?

"You have cats, right?" His mouth spoke faster than he could think. Minho was taken back with this question, and Jisung felt the exact same way "Where are they?"

Slowly, Minho glared at him, slowly blinking his eyes.

"At a hotel." his tone was unsure, maybe scared of what Jisung would do with this information "Read you were allergic to them"

Oh, right . Those "facts" posted on the internet that came from nowhere, everyone believed, and he never had the chance to correct the fans about it. Especially the "cat allergic" one. It would literally change no one's lives. 

Not until now.

"You can bring them back if you want"

The soup was really tasty, so Jisung didn't waste time finishing it. In the meantime, Minho had a puzzled face on, as if asking what was happening, or if Jisung was really alright.

They stayed in silence. The change of subject had worked.

🤍

He would be filming with Ryujin this evening. The set for her episode would be interesting: a car while she drove it. A very prone place to have one of the most awkward episodes this series could have but, fortunately, they used to talk a lot when they were trainees. They didn't anymore because, even when working in the same place, life still got in the way. In his mind it really felt like those "high school reunions" his parents loved to do once a year to keep in touch with their old friends.

He was supposed to go to the company with Minho but he wasn't home when his manager arrived. "He does this sometimes," he had said, "but he's a good person". That wasn't something he doubted 一 not anymore.

Now he was waiting for the team to finish the preparation for the recording. Cameras inside the car they would be using, and some discussion with a guy that would be driving a drone; last minute check ups to prevent any accident to happen, and also the preparation for the two more cars would be following them, with the other staff inside.

This would be interesting.

"Hi" he was welcomed with a punch on the shoulder and a smile on her face.

"Didn't know you knew how to drive"

"I don't," she had a mischievous expression "we'll be testing our luck today"

He laughed and soon the silence set between them, both watching while the team worked. Hairstylists and make-up artists came to adjust some details, the sound person to connect their clip-on mic and some managers to review the route and plans, since there would be no staff in the car.

"Can I ask you something?" 

They had already recorded the intro for the episode and now they were inside the car, waiting for the last things to be tested and adjusted, to be sure all the sounds inside the car would be perfect for the video.

Jisung nodded.

"I mean, it's totally ok if you don't want to talk about it but like- are you and Minho sunbaenim really together?"

Sooner or later he should've expected something like this to happen, but it was strange to have a co-worker ask about this.

He didn't want to have to lie to her, but he should. Even if she knew how the company and all the contracts with them worked, he shouldn't risk someone else to hear the truth. He didn’t know if the mics were still turned on.

"Not exactly… We're just talking"

He didn't know what he was expecting from this, but the smile she gave him was really comforting in some way. She looked at her hands and in a small voice, she said:

"Whatever you two have, is good to see the company isn't making a fuss over it… It makes me feel less scared about being who I am…"

This was a strange spot he found himself in. This was fake. People were being comforted by a created situation for unknown reasons. People were being comforted when he didn't even knew what he liked, who he liked. Romance was never a big concern in his life, despite all the love songs and cliché movies he liked to consume.

Yet, making people feel less scared of being who they are… That's a huge thing. He had read some posts online saying the same thing…

It first came with a sour taste: all these people were being fooled. They were believing in those lies and he was just feeding it because he didn't have that much choice. But then, the sweetness came. It gave people confidence in some way, making them feel seen and understood. Even if what he has with Minho is fake, the sentiment the public had was real, and he was happy they were feeling confident, feeling good in being who they truly are.

So, Jisung could finally see the bittersweetness of it all. As long as they kept respecting everyone and everything, this little lie might never really matter.

[LOVERS PROJECT MEETING]

Director: Thank you for coming to this impromptu meeting. We just thought of doing it once you both were already on the company. Ms. Park?

Manger 1: Thank you. First, it came to our knowledge of your misunderstanding yesterday. We are glad things seem to be alright between you two again, but we would kindly ask for you to not take personal fights into the public eyes. Also, Minho, we will investigate and take measures against that photographer in front of your building. Some photos already leaked, but fortunately none of them went viral yet, but it is gaining some attention. Your faces can't be seen clearly, so people can be skeptical about it. And it is also good to see Jisung's health wasn't affected by it. It could've been dangerous.

Manager 2: We also heard your concerns about Jisung's stay in your house and the officialization of this relationship. The plans are that, after the recording of your episode, it will not be necessary for Jisung to frequent your house anymore. It will be happening in the next few weeks. As for the officialization, we don't plan on doing it anytime soon. We still think it will be believable and that the public will just think we are protecting your personal lives, since this kind of relationship is still seen as vastly polemical.

[...]

[END OF THE MEETING]

He felt he was back in school after this meeting. Minho telling the managers everything that had happened just as he did when some kids did something wrong in the class. Nothing had changed on the plan, but it was good that the managers finally understood they weren't as close as they wanted them to be. It was good to hear Minho saying he would be trying harder to make this plan not fail.

It finally felt like everyone was on the same page. The managers understood they couldn't pretend a closeness they didn't have and that it could take a lot of time to actually happen 一 if it would ever. So they set boundaries, ones that both Minho and Jisung were willing to follow. He could see some of the managers, especially the director, didn't seem happy about the "toning down" because it could jeopardize all the project, but Jisung was glad they were able to come to an agreement. 

Now, he was in the passenger's seat in Minho's car, the low radio show being the only sound inside it. All of this felt so intimate that an unconformable aura was bound to exist, no doubt. He was just relieved that Minho decided to be in what he called his "neutral" mood: just breathing.

Jisung, on the other hand, was feeling restless. He felt the need to keep playing with his hands, moving on his seat, tapping his legs, turning his phone on and off for no reason… but he was forcing himself to keep his cool. Looking out of the window and describing the view while lightly pinching his arm did the job quite well. Still, his mind didn't stop for a second. At the same time he was worried about describing everything with precision, the project, what was his plans for the next day, what he would be having for dinner, if he should order Minho something as well or if he would refuse as well kept running on his mind. Maybe they could just stop at a drive-thru and order something… but Minho was probably on diet…

God , his head was hurting like hell.

Maybe the clocks were lying to him because a 20 minute drive couldn't have taken so long as this one was, but he was glad they finally arrived. 

"You weren't lying about the cats, right?" Minho asked, after unlocking the apartment's door.

Jisung denied and Minho just hummed at that. He thought about revealing he didn't know where that information came from and that he wasn't allergic to cats, but before he could even open his mouth, Minho spoke again:

"I bought you medicine if you end up needing them, but-" as soon as Minho opened the door, a cat intertwined his legs "hi, you missed me? We have a guest" he said with a baby voice, while petting the cat's ear. He stayed like this for some time. "But, yeah, if your allergy gets worse then I can get them back to the hotel. It's not good to keep on too much medicine"

At this point in time, Jisung just felt uncomfortable telling Minho the truth. Not that he had a fault in that, but after everything he did it felt like he was somehow making fun of him. So he decided to just go with it.

"Thank you, I'm– I'm sure it will be alright"

It had been some time since they arrived at the apartment and still, just one cat made its appearance. He knew how cats could be shy and wary of new people but it felt strange to have everything so… just like it had been for the past few days.

Alright, Jisung was being unfair in his judgment. Although the cats weren't doing all the tricks and mess he thought they would be doing, he could feel Minho was really trying to be more friendly towards him. Things weren't just like the past few days. These few hours had been more comfortable than all the days he stayed there. Minho was even cooking for them! He should be grateful.

"You know them? The cats, I mean"

Of course he knew. He watched all the vlogs and entertainment shows when his group was active 一 they were a great source of inspiration to keep him going as a trainee 一, and Minho always made sure to talk about his babies. They are his pride after all.

Soonie was the first one that Minho adopted when he was in school, even before he decided what he wanted for his life. He was just a little scared baby hiding from the rain. Minho just couldn't have left him there.

Doongie was the next. Similar conditions. A stray cat that found and followed Minho on his way home the first time he visited his parents after debuting. They wouldn't have kept him, but Minho convinced them otherwise “Soonie needs a friend!”

Dori was the one Jisung was most familiar with. He was the dorm's cat when Minho's former group still lived together. He always made sure to make an appearance in each of the vlogs they filmed. When they left the dorms, the cat's custody went to Minho.

"Kinda" Jisung said, choosing to hide all his knowledge about them "I remember seeing them in one video or another"

Minho was already wary of Jisung because he was a fan of his group, so having the information that he already knew his cats and when they came to Minho’s life seemed a bit extreme, especially now that he was trying to be a little more friendly towards Jisung. 

And he was glad he did that. Minho seemed very happy to tell the stories he already knew, just as it was the first time he was talking about it. The story was exactly the same, told in the same enthusiasm as in the videos.

Soonie is the one with the white nose and the one Minho talked more lovingly about; Doongie, the one with the orange nose and a lot more reserved. Even having followed him home, now he was the one that kept hiding. Dori was the gray one and the baby 一 more like a teenager, according to Minho 一 who liked to play a lot. 

During the time he prepared the dinner, Minho kept talking about the cats and all types of stories they lived together. Nothing adventurous that could be part of a kids cartoon, but Jisung could tell they were fond memories to him. It was cute.

🤍

Even in good terms, their routine wasn’t that far different than it was before. As they were having pretty much the same schedule, the managers suggested for them to leave the company together, so just one car could be used and some sustainability talk they just used for the “we are not pushing this plan too hard, just trying to be responsible in the most random moment!” It obviously didn’t work. After practices, Jisung needed his time to relax his body and mind and was almost unable to do anything. Minho, on the other hand, liked to go through exhaustion so he could sleep better. In the end, Jisung accepted that it was no problem for him to stay at Minho’s without him being there. “It is good for the cats to have company, anyway”.

But the truth was: Jisung tried to move less than he would in the dorms, still feeling bad for being there alone. He just went to the bathroom or to drink some water in the kitchen. Otherwise, it was like he was glued to the space between the sofa and the coffee table, his new “office”. And the cats, too, never paid much attention to him. They would leave their bedroom, stare at his soul and then go back, as nothing had happened. Maybe they would report all his (no) moves to Minho when he arrived. 

🤍

The nights (and early mornings) where they actually spent time together existed, even if quite rare. Nothing too planned, things just… happened. They talked for some time and soon they were too tired to do anything else. 

Sometimes Minho would arrive and Jisung would be watching something on his laptop. He would throw himself on the sofa and, Jisung thinks, start watching whatever it was with him. It could be for one minute, one hour or simply until Jisung got tired. Truthfully, Minho was maybe just too tired to go to his room right away and just made a stop on the sofa to recharge his energy. Either way, it was strangely comfortable even if Minho didn’t respond most of the time Jisung threw comments about what was happening on the screen. The cats would also pile up in Minho and when Jisung tried to gain their attention too they would just turn their backs and pretend he didn’t exist. Minho always giggled at that.

Sometimes Minho would cook for them too, something simple and probably the only thing he could eat on the diet he was doing. Jisung was getting kinda sick of fried rice so many days in a row.

And sometimes, Jisung would go back to the small and cramped dorm he so loved and stay there for some days. 

“Are you sad I came back?” was the first thing Jisung said when he saw Seungmin in the kitchen, fake sadness in his voice.

“Maybe I am. Our living room will have socks and shirts everywhere again.”

“Oh, and I am the only culprit? Jeongin even leaves his pants sometimes!”

“Guess he was just marking territory. He left nothing when you were atMinho’s” 

“Should I leave you guys forever, then?”

“Yes, go live with your boyfriend immediately” his tone was funny, stealing a smile from his face.

Jisung rolled his eyes the same way, making sure to leave his coat and sweater in two different chairs before going to his own room. 

🤍

The year was near to its end and Jisung never felt so drained. Two long special stages were what was doing it to him, plus the need to record that series the company was doing, obviously. Just two episodes were released: his and the one with Nichkhun. He still remembers how nervous he was that day, and that obviously translated to the screen. It was kinda funny, though, having the guest almost leading the episode. And, to be honest, this was happening almost every time. He didn’t really have to be there for the episode to happen.

But he was glad the reaction was positive, and the other fans seemed to enjoy his work as an MC. The comment section was filled with heartfull comments and the public’s own experiences with one song or another that was chosen. Somehow, it felt like everyone was in the same place sharing their own stories? Yeah, maybe Jisung really needed a powerful nap before his schedule starts all over again. 

But the moment he put his feet on Minho’s apartment and saw nothing but darkness, he felt like crying. Jisung would stay awake until Minho arrived, so he wouldn’t need to worry about waking him up since he was sleeping on the couch. The older complained once, saying that he could sleep and he wouldn’t make any sound when he arrived but, with the help of harmless little lies here and there, they agreed that, if Minho arrived earlier than Jisung (it just happened twice), he would leave the kitchen lights on. If not, Jisung would keep awake until his arrival.

He really felt like crying, like babies did when they wanted to sleep. And nothing wrong would happen if he just slept, really. He was tired! But something in his mind was telling him to keep up with his words. He should not sleep until Minho arrives for some unknown reason he created alone.

God, he hated his mind.

But he could leave the room light on and put something to watch. And if he kept a big glass of water by his side he could drink from it from time to time to keep his mind busy as well. Yes, that would totally work!

He prepared his little setup on the coffee table and sat on the floor, keeping his back as straight as possible. A few minutes browsing on his Youtube page, he decided to set up a video of some guy making a knife from red meat. This couldn’t be true. And maybe, just maybe , the guy from the video was kinda crazy. For some reason there was a doll spinning her head like crazy and then… the guy was making coffee?

He was really sleeping between takes, wasn’t he?

And when he was about to give up and just sleep, one of the cats, Doongie, started hitting his arm, searching for pats, he hoped. Soon, the cat was on his lap, for some unknown reason. None of the cats were very fond of him, but Doongie especially was always hidden around the house or in the cat’s bedroom Jisung never set foot on. 

He read somewhere that when a cat is sleeping you shouldn’t wake them up, no matter where they are. Maybe he should just sleep on the floor for the night.

“-ch a traitor” Jisung’s heart raced from the sudden voice in the room. Confused, he searched around the room, finding (hopefully) Minho going to the kitchen. 

Traitor ?  Had he done something? 

“-followed me?!” his eyebrows were meeting on the center of his forehead, confused, and heart still racing.

What the hell was Minho talking about?

But as the other was still in the kitchen, not minding that he hadn't said a word yet,  Jisung realized that Minho must be talking on the phone… near 3AM…

His mind was still dazed from tiredness but what if Minho– no. Phone it is. Totally. No doubt about that. Why would he try to communicate with a demon when he was there, right?

He looked at his lap, Doongie in the same position as before.

“ He wouldn’t, right Doongie? ” He asked silently, hoping the cat would never answer.

Still trying to convince himself Minho wouldn’t summon a demon there (why was he even thinking of it in the first place?), the guy in question materialized at his side, with a medium sized popcorn bucket on hand.

God, Minho was crazy.

“You know you can use the TV, right?” he must have gone crazy because Minho was smiling… to him? 

“What-”

“I mean, you didn’t knew the title but still–” maybe sensing something was wrong, Minho looked at Jisung again “Oh… You don’t want to watch it anymore?”

Jisung blinked until things started making sense in his head. He had agreed on watching a movie with Minho. While he was sleeping…

“Yeah I– hm– I fell asleep I guess… I just– my mind is still– you know?” He made some movements with his hand trying to deliver the message he wanted.

Good, he couldn’t even say words anymore.

“You can sleep, if you want. We can watch–”

“No, that's okay! You can put it– Yeah, I’m curious” He would feel bad if he declined it anyway.

An amused look was thrown in his direction, but Minho said nothing else.

How much he talked with Minho while sleeping?

Middle movie, Jisung was still wide awake, curious about the plot, Doongie finally moved again, leaving his lap and going in Minho's direction.

“Oh, so the traitor decided to come back to me?” The baby voice was almost inaudible from where Jisung was.

🤍

Who would’ve thought that a movie about murders of redheads in a small town would be what would bring them to a friendship status? Watching a movie together was almost routine by now and surprisingly, they had very similar taste!

16-years-old Jisung would be so happy right now!

They would go to cafes now too, right before they entered the company. It was usually just take out, so they never minded posting about it. To be honest, it had been some time they didn't acknowledge each other online. Not that they really remembered to do it anyway, but the company also didn't make a comment on it after the last meeting.

One day though, when Jisung was craving some sweets, they decided to stop by the cafeteria. It was in the middle of the day and, apart from some employees, no one else was there. They still took the table by the end of the room 一 they were used to it, anyway. 

Jisung posted a photo of the Cheesecake he decided to settle on. Later, Minho posted the fancy coffee he ordered. There was no big reaction from the public.

🤍

Maybe they had moved on with this and forgot to tell them the plan was over. No more meetings. The company special stage, where they thought they would be put in something to promote this "relationship", had nothing but a duet that would last 20 seconds before the next artist joined them on stage.

Jisung was still in Minho's house just because, once they still had completely different schedules. It had become more comfortable to stay there already and, even if he didn't see a single feline when he was alone, Minho always commented how they looked happier now that they had a lot more human company than when it was just him and his own strange schedule.

It was good he was staying there as well because, normally at this point in time, stress always made Seungmin, Jeongin and himself go for each other's throats. Not literally, he must say.

Now that they weren't living together that much, they still haven't fought. If Seungmin and Jeongin had had a misunderstanding before going to the company they played it off very well, as it was expected from them. It was usually Jisung who couldn't really control his mouth, always saying whatever he wanted when stressed, without measuring the consequences it could cause.

They would go to restaurants and spend some of their free time together as if they were on their normal schedule, not living the most chaotic season of the year.

It was good really.

🤍

There were some days where Jisung felt extremely lonely in Minho’s apartment. It happened before, obviously, but after finding out they actually had a lot in common, this late arrival from him sometimes hit harder than other days.

What could he do? Jisung was someone who liked company, after all. And as much as he liked the cats, they seemed to not like him back. Not when they wanted nothing from him, at least. 

And he knew he could just go back to the dorm anytime but it was far from where he was and, given none of them had answered his messages yet, they were probably not home. So, in the end, staying alone here, good heat system and (maybe) cat company for staying alone there, Minho’s house was way better.

But when Minho finally arrived, not too late, with a hangover drink on hand and face slightly red, Jisung couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. They never really brought their personal lives into conversations but Jisung considered Minho as a friend now. Maybe he could have invited him to go to the bar as well. It had been some time since Jisung went to one anyway. He would’ve accepted and it would be so much–

Ok, stop Jisung , he said to himself, it is not his duty to invite you to whatever plans he has. 

“You produce?” Minho took a seat at his side, on the floor, stretching his neck so he could see the laptop screen better. His voice was kinda lazy, and the alcohol smell coming out of his mouth slightly. “Changbin did as well. I never understood what he was doing” 

Jisung was taken aback by the mention of Changbin, one of the former members from Minho’s group. Even if it was just a memory, Jisung was so sure they were all on bad terms that even memories became bittersweet. Maybe he was wrong about it.

“Can I listen?”

Jisung took a look at his side, seeing Minho with his head reclined to the sofa seat. His eyes almost closed, looking at him as well. From all this time, it was unusual for Minho to take interest in anything he did. And it was unusual for Minho to be really looking at him, but that must be the rest of the alcohol doing its tricks. Still, he felt something in his stomach.

It wasn’t like him to show his works for someone, especially when he was already in the process of hating everything and considering discarding all the work he had done. But Minho was clearly sleepy and probably wouldn’t remember a single thing when he woke up. Maybe it was about time for one of his tracks to be heard by someone else.

“It isn’t finished yet” he said right before disconnecting his headphones “so it’s not good” and probably never will be .

Minho just hummed and, after a deep breath, he heard the first chords playing through the speakers. Minho had his eyes closed and maybe was already asleep, but either way, Jisung felt good that someone else was hearing his creation. 

When it ended, Minho still had his eyes closed, stabilized breathing and brows slightly together. A small smile appeared on Jisung’s lips and, not expecting any comments, he connected the headphones again, feeling inspired to work on it again.

 Not much later, he felt a soft kick on his leg, and looked over Minho’s direction, removing one side of his headphone.

“Have you shown this to someone?” his eyes were barely open and his mouth formed a pout. Jisung denied. “You should. It’s really good.”

By the time Jisung thought it was better for him to sleep Minho was still there, in the same position as before. He had a pout, making his upper lip overlap the lower one. 

[The document ‘skjdb’ has been modified. Do you want to save it?]

Yes.

Jisung covered Minho with the futon and grabbed his own jacket to use as a blanket. He went to the far side of the sofa and mirrored Minho’s position. They weren’t that far apart and maybe, in the middle of the night their hands ended up touching each other, but they would never know.

When Jisung woke up, the futon was around him and he was alone in the living room, as Minho had never been there. 

🤍

“Did you see?”

“Hm?” Jisung looked up from his stretching, following Jeongin with his eyes. Seungmin kept an attentive eye on them as well.

“Apparently Minho was seen with someone yesterday” Jisung felt something itching behind his neck, adjusting himself to look over Jeongin’s phone “they were on a club, it seems.”

The photo quality was not the best because of all the lights in the place but, somehow, Minho’s face was clear as the sky. And, dancing with him probably a guy, given by the shoulder width. The photo was pretty innocent, but seeing the bright smile Minho had stamped on his face made his stomach twitch in a bad way. Distaste maybe.

“Are you alright?” Jisung looked up and saw worried eyes on him.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he scoffed and turned his back at them, going for his water bottle “We are not together”

🤍

Ok, he knew he shouldn't be feeling that way. There was nothing wrong with Minho having fun with his friend…? No, no, stop thinking . Friend. Yes. There was nothing wrong in it. He could have fun as well if he wanted. Nothing was stopping him. 

But still, a sour taste lingered in his mouth. He didn’t want this to happen though. They were not exclusive. They weren’t even together in the first place. 

He had no right in feeling that way.

He just needed to… keep distracted from it. 

Jeongin shouldn’t have shown him the photos. 

He just needed to-

Knock knock knock.

Jisung paralyzed for a few seconds when the door started to open. 

“Hey um– you forgot your towel,” Minho said through the crevice. There was no way he would see him naked, but Jisung felt strange nonetheless “I’ll just put it on the toilet so, yeah”

Jisung stayed in silence. Too afraid to say something.

“Also, my manager called and I’ll have to go to the company…”

“Anything wrong?” He faked ingenuity, as he hadn't seen any of the photos. It was probably about it anyway.

“Hope not, but given the hour…”

Jisung hummed, eyes fixed on the door.

Somehow, he was scared that his assumption would be right. That the assumptions people were making on twitter were right. But the truth is that he has no right to feel this way. Their relationship was fake. No. It is fake.

“Hyung, can I– can I ask you a question?”. 

The answer came as a simple “yes”, and Jisung’s body shivered. He chose to believe it was because of the cold air coming from outside the bathroom.

“Would you date a guy? Like, in real life?”

He felt his heart freezing, the time stopping. Somehow, it felt like Minho was right in front of him, facing his naked body. Judging him head to toes. He pressed his forehead in the glass, not knowing how those words came out of his mouth so easily.

He shouldn’t have asked that. It was so intrusive. So, so-

But the answer came, again, as a simple “yes”.

He looked up at the door. At the same time he felt something similar to hope, all those strings were cut off, and he was on the ground again. And he had no right to be feeling this way, still he wanted to. He wanted to have the right to be desolated.

As he opened his mouth to say something he would regret the very same second, Minho’s phone started ringing.

“Sorry, I need to go.”

The door closed again and he suddenly felt his eyes kinda hurting. He turned on the shower again. Shampoo might have fallen to his eyes in the meantime.

It didn’t take long for him to end his shower and throw his essentials in a backpack. He wanted to go back to the dorms. He wanted his friends back.

Quickly, he made sure everything that could be dangerous for the cats were out of their reach

He suddenly felt worried about who that person was. A selfish part of him kinda wanted Minho just for himself but he shouldn’t be feeling that way. He was the antagonist in Minho’s and this person’s life. He was the stone in the middle of the road. He was the antagonist. And he had no choice but be it. Their story was written that way. He was made the antagonist for a reason. Maybe he was just fated to suffer and the public to hate him. Or maybe he would have a redemption arc and the public would actually pity him, turning the main character and his love interest into side characters by the end of the movie. 

Still, he didn’t want Minho to be perceived as a cheater when he was not. They were not in a relationship. He was the one causing this problem. But in the end, who would say or believe they were fake? When even the general public portrayed what they had as a “really special bond”, what were the possibilities of them believing it? Or worse, this would be a greater scandal. The company wouldn't feel guilt after throwing one of them under the bus if that meant their own scandal would be well covered.

“Hyung?”

The so-familiar voice and view coming from the occupied sofa made Jisung more and more emotional. Few seconds later, both Seungmin and Jeongin were hugging him by the front door and, finally, he felt his own cheeks wet. But he wasn’t sure about what he was actually crying about.  

🤍

Minho:  
hey, you left?

Jisung:
yeah
Seung and Innie couldn’t make the game work so they called me

Minho:
and they needed to play it today?

Jisung:
guess so :/

Minho:
ah ok
see you tomorrow then?

Jisung: 
yeah absolutely ^^
gn hyung

Mine💛:
hai
question
ice cream in cone or tray?

cone
???
I love you 💖💖💖💖
cone has more food
tray
go to sleep
are you buying me ice cream?

Mine💛:
ah~
I like that too~
a fish that can sing or a bird that can breathe underwater?

are you drunk??
fish already sing haven't you watched the little mermaid??
fish, the bird would die
what a bird would do underwater
you are the light of my life oppa 💛
maybe fish can sing and we just don’t know?
the bird will know how to swim?

Mine💛:
no
birds don’t swim

DUCKS!!!!!!
are you alright?
you should not drink too much it’s late
hiiiii good morning ❤️🔥
but some can
omg what are penguins then??
DUCKS ducks can swim I have a duck

Mine💛:
ahh
ducks…
penguins too…
sorry ㅠㅠ
[sticker]
giant gummy bear or giant gummy worm?

omg you really are drunk
bear is cuter
the bear will kill me worms can do nothing
ksdhjksahdksjdhk
ugh imagine a giant worm
heyyyy i love youuuu
i think you should sleep oppa

Mine💛:
ah so they are alive
i chose bear but now i dont know
you made a good choice jagi
last
Ice americano even if its freezing ou warm shower even if it’s hot?

BOTH!!!!
thats tricky
why a normal one?
nooo last nooo
shower
i like juice more
your only flaw is liking ice americano baby
ice americano

As Minho was ready to just send a sticker and close the app for the day, a new notification gained his attention.

My Destiny:
cold even if it’s freezing, right?

Minho scoffed a little, thinking how funny it was how their minds were connected. Or Jisung actually just read his bubble messages, he remembered.

just one?
don’t drink ice things in winter you will get a cold
are you with han
SHOWERRRRR
why jisung talking about the same thing
ILOVEU

Mine💛:
Han Jisung is copying me?
Tell him to stop

what
jskdhkasjhd
just say you are together already
arent you together?
just woke up what is happening
he is answering you

Mine💛:
ah~ you think he is answering me?
jagi
are you playing with me?

how do you know Han Jisung is sending messages?
wtf he sent?
twitter
how YOU know 👀
who is han jisung
soooo possessive 🤤
COLLAB???

Mine💛:
hmmm
[sticker]
im tired jagi
you can talk to han jisung now if you want
gn
tell him i sent goodnight too
[sticker]

🤍

The sudden rhythm followed by soft piano took over the place and soon Jisung looked at the crew's direction. The wind complimented the song in a way he could never imagine. There’s no way they edited Minho’s playlist. Somehow, the few insects’ sounds made the beginning of the song feel more sentimental.

There’s no way Minho actually put this on his playlist.

“Ah, Limbo” Minho kept looking at the laptop for a few seconds before turning to Jisung’s direction again. Their eyes met and soon Jisung was looking to the ground, missing the small smile forming on Minho’s lips. “This is track 5 of my first full album… Hmm, it was my first activity after being discharged from the military, so I was really worried because after a long time without performing, going to entertainment shows and all of this, I wasn’t sure if I was still good… Or even if my fans had waited for me…”

No. It wasn’t happening. Stop thinking, Jisung! 

The pre-chorus started and their eyes met again. Jisung felt bad to have to say anything at the same time. Also, he didn’t know what to say.

“You know this song, right?” Minho had some mischief in his voice, maybe finding the way Jisung couldn’t hide his shock funny.

“Ah yes!” Jisung finally had his eyes on his sunbae again, but not for long. “It’s actually my favorite from the album”

The last comment was said in a low tone, but still, Minho heard and thanked him.

Until the chorus ended, they just stayed in silence. An awkward one. They would probably edit this out anyway. Their silence, that's it. Maybe they would change to the part where Minho would sing it live and that would be the end for this song. 

But in his mind, why would Minho really put this song on the playlist? Why was he falling for the manager's requests? Why now?

"Why did you choose this song?" his words came unexpectedly, what made Minho look at him with a curious look, as if saying isn't it obvious? "I mean, you said the album was important, and when people want a song to represent the album they usually say the title." And this song isn’t really about missing the fans , he wanted to say. 

"Actually I was going to choose Wow but I thought that people may already know this one so my mind went 'free promotion, let's go'" he ended with an awkward half laugh and expecting a better reaction from Jisung that never came. Behind the cameras, on the other hand, some of the staff were laughing because of the way Minho spoke. "But seriously, I just thought it would be a great opportunity for people to know me besides the titles, which are usually sexy.”

Again, as the chorus came, they stayed in silence. The pre-chorus was actually Jisung’s favorite part, but something in the chorus always made his mind stop what he was doing so he solely listened to it. It was like it had a magnet to it, and everyone seemed to feel the same. It was a really well made song.

“I think Limbo is very… transparent in the way it conveys the desperate feelings of, you know…? Missing someone… Like, it’s better to end things before the worst happens, right?”

No. There’s no way he chose this song. There’s no way he’s saying this because he wants to. 

“Or try ‘till the end because the worst might never come…”

Jisung isn't sure why he said it out loud, and by the silence in the environment, maybe even the insects thought that it was too much. The song ended just as he finished his phrase.

Slowly, Jisung lifted his eyes again, just now realizing they were focused on nothing. In front of him, Minho had his head slightly bent, looking at him with some kind of interest.

It felt too powerful, so Jisung focused on the trees behind Minho.

The next song started and no one minded it.

“I like your way of thinking”

For the cameras, he hoped, his eyes would still be in Minho's face. 

🤍

That same day, after the recording of the episode, a project meeting was held. They suspended the plan and were hoping for the public to just forget what had happened. Jisung and Minho proximity would never be explained and no notes would be released on behalf of Minho, just the usual “we will investigate and sue all the malicious comments being made towards our artists”. They should act as if they never met each other. Their Bubble chats were removed from their accounts. “Your life can go back to normal now, thank you for your hard work”, was all they said. 

Now, at Minho’s apartment, they were both too quiet. Jisung was packing his things up while Minho waited for him. If it was a movie, that was the part where one of the romance interests needs to move to another country, and the emotional music starts playing. But that was not a movie, he was not moving to another country, and they weren’t their (true) romance interest. It just felt sad, is what Jisung was trying to say. 

He had grown so used to this new routine, to the Minho weird hours, that it was strange having to go now. The same thing kinda happened when he left the dorm for the first time, but it wasn’t as strong as he was feeling right now. Maybe it was because he knew he would be coming back to Seungmin and Jeongin sometime. Maybe he would never go back there, would never see the cats again or sleep on the surprisingly comfortable sofa. 

He would miss there. 

Minho would be the one dropping him at his dorm and, as much as they tried to pretend things kinda got uncomfortable between them. He was trying to draw a line as to why this was happening, but everytime he just ended up thinking about the secret partner Minho might have.

“Are you relieved this project ended?” He asked. Maybe he could ask about Minho’s partner afterwards. They were friends, right?

“I mean, I’m kinda the reason for it so…” he turned to the left and stopped the car at the traffic sign “You know they are probably covering something bigger, right?” Jisung agreed “so yeah, I told them this, they got defensive and then I talked some more shit and said that if something happened to you or Chris I would release everything I know to the media. They probably think I know more than I really do because they backed off really fast”

“Chris?”

“Hm, you saw the photos, right? It was him with me”

“Ah, so you two…?”

Jisung felt his body tensing. At the same time he was looking at Minho he really rather not, but he just couldn’t. 

It would make sense. That’s why they were together at the recording room that time, maybe the reason why Minho arrived so late everyday. Maybe Limbo was made for him, hence why Minho put it on the playlist. It had nothing to do with the plan. He knew it would be ending soon. 

“Oh, no!” Minho smiled lightly. Why was everyone thinking the same thing? He was just dancing and they weren’t even close! “I tried hitting on him once, but our tastes are too different… We would never work”

He felt his face redden for some reason. It was not like Minho had said something inappropriate, he just–

“What?” Minho glanced at him, amused by the reaction Jisung had no idea how he was even able to see “Are you surprised that I hit on men?”

Jisung felt short of words, stuttering some words he wasn’t even sure if made sense. Minho just laughed at that.

“I mean, I told you the other day, it’s not a big deal”

Jisung was aware of that but still, that made a linen of hope to be created in the back of his mind, even if Jisung himself didn’t want that to happen. 

“Jisung” Minho called while leaning against the open window. It didn’t take much longer for them to arrive at his dorm. 

Jisung turned to face him again, juggling his backpacks so they wouldn’t fall on the floor “I’ll miss you”

He left a chuckle, bending his head slightly. “We’ll see each other tomorrow, hyung”

“I know”, was all he answered before time stopped. They got hypnotized by the other presence, or maybe they were just communicating through their minds, eyes never failing them as they normally would.  

“You should probably get going,” Minho moved his head slightly, accompanied with long blinks “it’s getting late.”

“It really is, huh?” He looked around his own car, focusing for a moment on the clock in the panel “See you tomorrow?”

Jisung nodded with a thin line forming a smile. “Bye, hyung”

When the car left his field of vision, his eyes closed for a moment while his head tilted towards the sky. This couldn’t be real…

🤍

The strangest thing of it all was that they always ended up finding each other by chance. They were always together simply because destiny wanted them to be. Waiting in line, arriving at the same time to wait for the elevator, having the same In’s and Out’s for the stages, to Minho making him company late at night in the building because he was nervous about the performances. 

The last few weeks appeared to do more for their closeness and friendship than all those months living under this project did. Some of the managers questioned them about this, to which they didn’t have an answer to why that was happening.

Saving for some cat photos or song recommendation they sent to each other almost everyday, all that happened after was never planned. 

“I was thinking,” Minho said one night he decided to stay while them three 一 Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin 一 were training “would it be too bad if, somehow, those documents got leaked? Because I’m sure there’s something really wrong happening. They backed  off to fast and I just bluffed”

None of them said anything. 

It sure was an interesting concept, but a lot of things could riot negatively for them and all the other artists had nothing to do with that.  

🤍

It was finally the last stage of the year. The song while they waited for the new year’s countdown to start. Everyone was gathered on the stage, mics being prepared for more than 50 artists. They were more to the side, Pure D had adopted Minho as their fourth member, as some fans had said for the past festivals they participated in.  They were surrounded by other groups from their company, so the vibe was really comfortable for him. They were always happily singing and dancing, unable to keep their bodies steady. 

This was Jisung’s favorite moment from the end-of-the-year Festivals they went to. The opening or final stage, where all artists were reunited. It was easy and really fun, just like a huge karaoke room. And really, one of the best parts was really to interact with the other groups, even just to sing badly when the mic wasn’t on, just because they were happy and wanted to laugh a little. It was like everyone was really good friends for years, not just acquaintances, or even, just work buddies. 

At some point, Jisung’s attention was entirely on Minho and so, Minho’s was on Jisung. They impersonated the song, singing it with all their senses, body and mind. As someone could say, they were really feeling the song, in a comic way, just like drunk people would do. Or when you are sleep deprived. 

And maybe he really was, because his mind seemed mushy. He couldn’t really describe logically anything anymore.

Looking at Minho’s face this close was such an incredible experience. All the acne scars that couldn’t be hidden by the make up bringing him back to earth, showing he wasn’t that perfect untouchable greek god he was portrayed as; all the sharp features that were actually soft-like, just like his personality was. It amused Jisung how Minho was an open book. They were always there, ready to be seen, ready to be read. 

God, how he wished they were under the damn project again…

A timid swing brought him back to reality and the song had its last chords playing. All the other sounds from the artists and public came back to his attention too. Minho’s lips were printed with an amused smile and his eyes, just as soft as they were the other day.

Would it be bad if he kissed Minho at that exact moment? Would it be too risky?

The answer was clear in his mind, but he really couldn’t bring himself to care about it. Why did they need to be under the contract to like each other?

Maybe it was Han's personality taking over his body and mind: overconfidence and the want to live the moment at its maximum. He was on stage after all.

The countdown started and he noticed Minho was observing him as well.

5!

Their eyes met and for a moment and then, the surroundings started to blur again, bringing just them two to another universe, where no one was there to watch them. 

4! 

3!

It didn’t have to be the kiss. Just a New Years peck. Small, quick and sweet. He would be happy with just that. And probably Minho would too, if their communication through gazes are really working.

2!

Before he knew, his eyes were drifting to Minho’s lips. He tried to keep them up, Minho’s eyes were so pretty that he wanted to keep looking at them forever, searching for all the galaxies. But his lips were just as pretty. And they had magnets in them.

1!

Their heads tilted and slowly, Jisung closed his eyes, longing for the kiss.

When the fireworks were finally fired, he felt the plum lips fitting perfectly on his, sending a shiver down his spine.

Than another.

Than another.

They were short and Jisung was eager for more but, when the fourth peck never came Jisung opened his eyes. Minho was observing him with a smile on his face. Jisung couldn’t help but mirror the expression.  

He didn’t know how or when his feelings took over his body; he wasn’t sure how or when Minho startede feel the same; but in the end, he was just happy it was real.

Maybe no one really saw what happened. Maybe even the cameras caught nothing of the scene, but if they did, he was happy he gave the company a real scandal they could take care of. They seem to like doing it anyway. 

But really, kissing someone was that bad? Liking someone was that much of a scandal?

[Founder of XX Entertainment, Ahn Heejung, under investigation for involvement with drugs, blackmail and more]

Involvement with drugs, tax evasion and blackmail are just some crimes Ahn Heejung is said to have committed for years and had it covered with the help from the management team of his company, XX Entertainment. Using his company and artists' influence…

keep reading
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