Chapter Text
Mike’s dread was an annual event. Every year, June came and so did the dread, and Mike could do nothing but feel it grow day by day. It grew and grew and then it spread through him like a bone deep cold or a nasty virus.
In early June, the party was taking their final tests of the school year. They were all looking forward to the freedom away from school for the summer, and noticing as the nights grew longer and the weather got balmier. July still felt ages away.
If someone mentioned the upcoming month in early June, Mike was mostly able to ignore the gnawing, anxious pit in his stomach. He discarded any stray negative thoughts a few moments after they landed. But that pit of dread was there, it rested in his stomach more heavily each day. And the negative thoughts still landed, even if for just a moment. They nibbled at the edges of his stomach, making his thoughts scatter and his hands shake. But just for a few moments.
In mid-June, they were all let out of school with their passing grades. Mike’s backpack was shoved to the back of his closet, papers and notebooks crumpled inside. The sun was shining and the air conditioner at the Wheeler house was turned on.
They had two blissful weeks of freedom before July came around. Dustin, Lucas, El, Max, and Will biked over to Mike’s house often to enjoy the central air conditioning and watch movies or play D&D in his basement. They biked to the pool, the movies, the arcade. The last two weeks of June were a paradise.
Except for the worry. The anxiety became persistent by the middle of June.
The tide always shifted dramatically once they were let out of school. Mike had always been good at shoving things down, so he might have been able to ignore the issue at hand longer if it was just up to him.
But it wasn’t. It was up to Will. And Will always stopped shoving down his own anxiety after the last day of school. It got too big to ignore for Will, and Mike couldn’t help but follow in his stead.
At the mention of July, Will would get a funny look on his face and get quiet until someone successfully distracted him. Sometimes no one could distract him. He got jumpy and became increasingly pessimistic. When someone annoyed him, Will would often snap at them, instead of just exchanging an annoyed glance with Mike like he usually would. He got overly hurt and defensive over any perceived slight and wouldn’t tolerate any mention of his foul moods.
All of their friends noticed the difference, of course, but Mike felt the change in Will crawling under his own skin. He could never quite shake it off.
During the last dwindling days of June, Mike’s worry reached a fever pitch. His mind was a cacophony of racing thoughts, anger, and tenderness and caution towards Will.
When Will’s parents had divorced years ago, Lonnie had fought for some parental custody of Jonathan and Will. He’d also moved to Indianapolis, far enough away from Hawkins that trading weeks, or spending weekends with one parent and weekdays with the other, wasn’t feasible.
The court mandated compromise was that every year, Jonathan and Will would spend the month of July with Lonnie in Indianapolis, and the rest of the year with Joyce, at home, in Hawkins.
Every July, once he left town to visit Lonnie, Will’s absence boiled within Mike all month long.
***
“Mike, quit it,” Dustin whined, jolting Mike from his thoughts.
He had been staring into space, or rather, the space above Will’s head, for the last several moments, and only at Dustin’s jarring interruption did he realize that he’d also been repeatedly tapping the tv remote loudly against the coffee table in front of him.
“Sorry, sorry.” Mike rolled his eyes. His gaze fixed back to the right, where Will was sitting quietly, looking out the window. Will hadn’t looked at any of them in a few minutes. Mike wasn’t even sure if he was hearing them. He forced his hand holding the remote to be steady.
Mike asked casually, “So, what? What do you want to watch?”
“Mike! What the hell. You were supposed to be deciding what to watch, we’ve been waiting for you to make up your mind.”
Mike dragged his eyes away again to look at Dustin. Dustin’s mouth was hanging wide open and his eyebrows were raised. Once Mike returned his glare, Dustin squinted his eyes, glanced over to Will, back to Mike, and then furrowed his eyebrows.
Somewhere to Mike’s left, Lucas let out a loud sigh.
Dustin said in a pointed, slow voice, “We were going to do something fun, watch a good movie to take our minds off everything, remember?”
Oh god, of course Mike remembered. They were supposed to be distracting Will, not getting distracted with Will, not getting distracted by Will. Not that Mike was distracted by Will, of course, but rather he was getting distracted by the fact that Will was distracted. About July. About going to Lonnie’s.
Mike wondered exactly what Will was thinking about. During the past few days, thinking about what was going on in Will’s head wasn’t an individual thought or action, it was a state of being. His name was Mike Wheeler, he lived in Hawkins, Indiana, and he wondered what Will Byers was thinking about. Those were the foundations of who he was.
Mike shook his head, blinked hard, and stood up with purpose, clearing his throat loudly. For the first time in several minutes, Will looked away from the window and towards everyone else, his eyes blinking slowly. Mike felt a thrill of accomplishment.
“I don’t think a movie is the right choice for today,” Mike declared. “Because, as my mom so eloquently said to me yesterday, we are ‘growing boys that need fresh air.’”
He planted his arms on his hips, ready to argue to the death over his assertion. Will needed some fresh air. A movie would let him linger, isolate, not talk, silently simmer in his thoughts. Doing something outside would get his mind off of things.
Dustin snorted and said, “Good ol’ Mrs. Wheeler, always looking out for us.”
Lucas stood up, shaking his limbs out from where he’d been lounging on the ground, cushioned by many pillows, for the last forty-five minutes. “Yes! I agree! I said that earlier but you shot me down.” He smacked Mike’s arm lightly.
“Don’t hit me, I’m agreeing with you now, aren’t I?” He smacked Lucas back.
Dustin hollered over them, “Focus, focus! What are we going to do outside? Will, any ideas?”
Will looked over at Dustin. He looked slightly annoyed, not specifically at Dustin, but just at everything. He’d been more annoyed than not for the last week.
After a long pause, Will said, “I don’t care, whatever you guys want.”
Lucas inhaled and opened his mouth to speak and Will’s eyes darted in his direction. Will spoke up quickly, cutting Lucas off. “Not basketball.”
Lucas rolled his eyes while Mike laughed. He never would have agreed to basketball anyway.
Mike started, “How about…” and then he trailed off in thought. Just biking around gave Will time to brood. They needed to be active, to do something fun. A good summer experience Will might not get to do in… July.
Mike swallowed, pushed those thoughts away, and exclaimed, “The pool! How about the pool?”
He plastered a wide grin on his face and looked each of his friends in the eyes, waggling his eyebrows.
Dustin shrugged and Lucas nodded his head in agreement, but their reactions didn’t really matter. It was down to Will, and so Mike watched him closely, looking for any signs of discontent.
Will cocked his head at the idea, sighed, and said, “Yeah, alright. Let’s go to the pool.”
Mike nodded fervently at the lukewarm response. He could make do with that.
Everyone left to go home and change into their bathing suits before meeting back up at the pool. Mike groaned at his mom’s reminder to put on sunblock but hastily lathered some on before leaving.
Lucas was already at the pool by the time Mike showed up. He was lounging in a deck chair, shirt off, sunglasses on, and arms behind his head. Lucas’s arms had gotten bigger and more toned over the last couple years and he was never shy about showing them off. Mike rolled his eyes as he approached.
Lucas called out, “Hey! I called Max when I was home and she was hanging out with El, so I invited them both to join us, they’ll be coming soon.”
Mike nodded his head, and said, “Yeah, okay, cool.” He plopped down in the deck chair next to Lucas and glanced at his watch, then back up at the entrance, wondering when Will would get there.
Lucas’s voice cut through Mike’s focus. “How do you think he’s doing this time? Will, I mean. I know this year is different, but he doesn’t seem much worse to me.”
Mike looked over at Lucas, the dread trickling through him, nervousness apparent on Lucas’s face too.
It would be the first summer that Will was going to Lonnie’s alone. Jonathan and Will were supposed to go every year until they turned eighteen. Jonathan had gone one more year even after his eighteenth birthday, just to stay with Will.
But Jonathan had told Will several months ago that he needed to get a job this summer, not just in June or August, before their month away or afterward in the spare weeks before his next semester started. He needed a real job that he could work at for as many hours as possible throughout the entire summer to help pay for his classes and hopefully put him in a good position to get a photography internship the next year.
Will had mentioned this casually in May, and the news had Mike gulping down air to try to quench the anger deep in his stomach for a few moments, before Will moved on in the conversation. And so Mike forced himself to move on too.
In Mike’s estimation, Will wasn’t much worse, but he was acting differently than how he usually did leading up to July. Usually at this point in the month, Will would be lashing out, throwing out sarcasm at the slightest provocation. But this year, Will hadn’t done that as much. He’d just drawn more into himself. Instead of being more negative, he’d become more muted. Less likely to frown or grimace, more likely to have a blank, bored expression on his face.
He wasn’t sure if this was just a different reaction because Jonathan wasn’t going and Will didn’t feel like he had anyone backing up his anger and frustration about having to go, or if maybe this was an evolved version of the more obvious unhappiness he usually displayed. It didn’t feel evolved though. It felt worse. More insidious, more isolating.
Mike fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. “I think he’s nervous about going without Jonathan this year. It’s a big change for an already shitty month. I’m not really sure exactly how he’s doing though. He hasn’t said much.”
Lucas nodded. Mike continued to fidget, looking down, and asked, “Has he said anything to you?”
Lucas sighed and said, “No, he’s been pretty tight-lipped. He’s quiet this time, you know?”
Mike felt a pulse of unease and nodded. The two lapsed into unhappy silence for a while, amidst the shrieking and splashing of the swimmers just feet away.
Lucas cleared his throat after a few minutes and said, “Hey, he’s going to be okay, you know? And you are too. I don’t want you moping around all July like you usually do. We’re going to stay in touch with Will as much as we can, as much as he’ll let us, you know? But we’re also going to enjoy our summers, okay?”
Mike balked, and sputtered, “Will needs us, what do you mean? I’m not going to waltz around having the time of my life, while he’s with his absolute asshole of a dad, having a miserable time. Sorry that I’m going to miss my best friend, that I’m not going to be in a great mood all July while he’s gone.”
Lucas sighed. “That’s not what I’m saying, man. I am going to miss Will, we all will. I’m just saying, don’t go holing yourself up the entire time he’s gone. I know you drive yourself a little crazy while he’s away every year, but like, when you call him and write him letters, you want some interesting stuff to say, right?”
Mike grimaced, feeling embarrassed.
Lucas continued, “I want us both to have things to say to him to keep him entertained and distracted. So let’s make sure to do some things that we can tell him about, which means getting out of the house regularly. Not spending the whole month moody and alone in your basement, right?”
Mike grunted noncommittally but privately acknowledged that what Lucas was saying made sense. He usually was a miserable shithole all of July, Mike knew that better than anyone. He decided that he’d hear out whatever ridiculous plans Lucas had in a few days once Will was gone. Maybe not the very day that Will left. Mike would let himself be a little miserable that day. But after that, he made a promise to himself that he would at least try.
He kept watching the entrance, and tapped his flip flopped foot against the poolside concrete. When Dustin and Will showed up, Mike felt his face transform with a big grin.
Dustin gave them a holler and a big wave, his towel flapping in the wind. Will was trailing behind him, looking a little bit lighter than he had back at Mike’s, a little more present.
Will and Dustin took their shirts off, and after a moment of looking at Will, Mike took his off too. Along with Lucas, they all kicked off their shoes and gingerly scampered over the hot concrete, jumping into the pool quickly to relieve the burning pads of their feet.
They splashed each other, each trying to make the biggest wave to drench the others. They took turns hauling themselves up the ladder to leave the pool and then jump back in with the most impressive cannonball or funniest pose.
Dustin did an ill advised belly flop and proceeded to moan and groan about the front of his body stinging for the next five minutes. Lucas did a ridiculously graceful dive that caused them all to try copying him a few times, none even approaching his seamless and splashless entrance into the water.
Soon, El and Max showed up. El sat herself on the edge of the pool and dipped her calves in the water. She had a big straw hat on and kicked her legs a little, splashing happily. Max did a cannonball into the pool, slicking her long, red hair from her face as she emerged from the water.
Lucas was soon giving her a piggyback ride and they both tried taunting the others into a chicken fight.
Will gave a lazy “No,” which made Mike say no as well (because frankly, he felt too big for Dustin to give him a piggyback ride and felt like Dustin was too big to give a piggyback ride to as well, neither of them being great swimmers or fit enough to contend with the competition of Lucas’s iron grip on Max’s calves. El didn’t go into the pool in the deep end so she couldn’t ride on either of their shoulders).
And so Lucas gave Max a piggy back ride happily for a while before he dunked her underwater when she least expected it, resulting in her shrieking and trying to retaliate and push Lucas’s head under. Lucas swam away, shouting surrender, laughing too hard to make a very good effort. When she got close enough to exact her revenge, Lucas darted in close to kiss her, and surprisingly, that seemed to successfully cool her need for revenge.
The rest of them watched, laughing, even Will. Mike kept peeking over to check.
Soon, Max, El, and Dustin went to the shallow section of the pool. El had been working on learning how to swim. She had spent a lot of time floating in bathtubs but had never learned how to swim when the water wasn’t filled with salt to help her float. MIke had helped her practice swimming a few times while they were still dating, and many more times after they’d broken up, but he wasn’t volunteering for that today.
Lucas, Will, and Mike took a breather from their splashing around, and instead floated on their backs, with their arms and legs spread out to help with their buoyancy, eyes shut tight from the shining sun.
Mike tried to capture this moment of peace, to hold onto the feeling so he could recall it later when he got anxious once Will left. It was a good moment and had been a good afternoon. Will had been smiling and laughing, and so had Mike. The pool trip was his idea and it was a good idea.
Mike felt his foot bump into someone else, and he lifted his head to peek and saw that he’d bumped Lucas’s leg. Lucas didn’t even bother lifting his head, looking as content as could be. Mike kicked a tiny bit to put some distance between them and gently floated away, closing his eyes again. His mind returned to a peaceful state and he let himself re-settle.
Mike’s hand bumped into something then, and already annoyed at Lucas for hovering too close again, he looked up. It wasn’t Lucas though. Mike saw that his fingers had brushed Will’s hand.
Will was already looking up, right back at him, laughing a little, his cheeks a little pink from the sun or from the exertion of swimming maybe. His forehead was free from the worry lines that had recently seemed engrained there. They looked at each other for a couple moments until Will put his head back down in the water in order to stay floating, a smile stuck on his face.
Mike quickly looked over at Lucas to see if he’d been watching. He hadn’t been, he was several feet away, eyes still closed.
Mike felt warm, and righted himself from his floating position. He was very, very warm, from his head to his toes.
It was June 29th, so close to July. Mike was so nervous for Will that sometimes he couldn’t bring himself to look at Will. And sometimes it felt like he couldn’t bring himself to look away.
But this time, he forced himself to turn around, away from Will, to breathe. He was feeling warmer than he should be, and he wondered if he needed some water or if he was on the verge of suffering from heat stroke or something.
He clung onto the side of the pool, facing their deck chairs, catching his breath. His mind was buzzing, but with what, Mike wasn’t sure. He inhaled and exhaled.
When he’d cooled down, he figured everything was okay. He wasn’t dangerously dehydrated. He could remember chugging water in his basement just an hour or two earlier. It had just been a weird moment. He took one last big inhale and turned back around towards the pool.
At that moment, a huge wave of water splashed into him. It knocked him off his feet, dunking him underwater. He emerged, sputtering, his hair sopping wet and in his face. He raked it back as he spun around to see who had splashed him.
Lucas and Will were the only ones near enough to have done it. They were no longer floating but were swimming near him, laughing together.
Mike retaliated immediately with a huge splash of his own, making Lucas splutter and causing Will’s hair all slant to one side ridiculously.
Will gasped out, “It wasn’t us! It was El!” He pointed over to El, Max, and Dustin, who were still in the shallow part of the pool, laughing uproariously to themselves and watching him. Mike watched suspiciously as El casually wiped her nose.
Mike gaped at them and flung his arms up in annoyance. He huffed, “Assholes, every one of them.”
He raised his arm high, middle finger up. They just laughed harder and Mike fumed.
Will was laughing too, but when Mike looked at him, he saw that Will wasn’t laughing at him meanly like the others were, but rather just smiling and laughing in that way he did when Mike was keeping him entertained. And suddenly Mike found that he wasn’t all that annoyed anymore, even if Lucas was still in the background, most definitely still laughing at him.
Boosted by Will’s mood, Mike looked around and grabbed a few pool noodles that were floating nearby. Will whisper-yelled at him, “Mike, what do you think you’re doing?”
Will was grinning widely, but also looking nervously around at the younger kids halfway across the pool. They were those ones who had brought the pool noodles, and over a dozen other pool toys that had floated away from them as they screeched and cried and splashed everyone nearby.
He threw a yellow pool noodle over to Will, and then an orange one at Lucas, holding onto two himself, one green and one blue.
“They won’t even notice, Will, come on. They’re shitty little kids that clogged up the whole pool with their toys and floats, it’s only fair that we can use them for a bit.”
Will rolled his eyes but then gave in, grabbing the pool noodle, while Lucas’s grabbed his too. Mike made the first move, throwing his second pool noodle like a javelin at Lucas to initiate the fight.
Despite Mike’s deadly aim, Lucas used his orange noodle to bat it away, as if deflecting a spear with a swing of his sword. Will rushed to defend Lucas, moving towards Mike and they swung the brightly colored pool toys like swords, yelling with fierce battle cries. Lucas joined in the fight, armed with several small floating balls that he pelted in Mike’s direction, ever the ranger.
Once Mike was cowering pathetically enough from the two pronged attack, Will took pity on him and changed allegiances, turning to fight with Mike against Lucas.
Lucas hollered, “You filthy turncoat!” at Will, who laughed. The noise was loud near Mike’s ear and in a deeply mortifying moment of weakness and affection for his best friend, Mike turned to watch him. He wanted to see Will laughing happily up close before he left, to soak it up now before he wouldn’t get to see it again for a month.
Will’s face was scrunched up with his huge grin, his smile bright and his head thrown back. He was precious and Mike couldn’t find a word for how it made him feel. It was just a lot. Too much to say or think about. So he just watched and felt it all wash over him.
Unfortunately, his lapse in judgment cost him dearly: completely distracted by Will, he didn’t have a chance to dodge the oncoming foam ball thrown by Lucas, which nailed him right in the forehead.
Mike yelped at the unexpected impact, his head whipping around to glare at Lucas.
Will, startled from his laughter, swam closer and asked, “Are you okay?”
Mike rubbed at his forehead and grimaced at Lucas, feeling like he’d been targeted plenty for today, thank you very much. Lucas gave him an apologetic smile and drifted a bit closer.
Mike looked back to Will, whose hand was suddenly just a few inches from his face, hovering near his forehead. He jerked back, surprised, but Will didn’t move back at all. Mike swallowed and responded, “Yeah, might have a pink spot, but I’m fine.”
Will was still watching him closely and with such concern that Mike felt shy for a moment. He joked, trying to break the oddly tense moment, “I think that your paladin has fallen in battle.”
Will looked at him a moment longer, finally bringing his hand down, and Mike found his thoughts in a strange place. ‘I wonder if he was going to touch my forehead. I wonder if he thought about it. What would that have been like? To feel Will’s hand on my head. On my face.’
But then Will smiled, looked over to Lucas, and called, “The paladin has fallen and the cleric surrenders, overcome with grief over his fallen comrade.”
Mike felt a little funny at Will’s words. They sat a little too heavy as Mike rolled them over in his head.
Just a moment later though, a few of the kids were swimming up to them, asking in indignant, high pitched tones if they could have their pool toys back.
Mike rolled his eyes and threw his noodle back, Will and Lucas joining him. Lucas muttered under his breath, “Annoying kids. Just like Erica, I swear to god.” Mike and Will snorted at him.
Lucas went to swim laps, and Mike asked if Will wanted to join the others in the shallow end to help with El’s swimming practice. But Will shook his head. He pushed off from the edge of the pool, twisted around to lay on his back, and went right back to floating in the water.
"No," he said. "I'm happy right here."
Mike stayed where he was for a minute. He watched Will, whose eyes were closed against the sun’s rays, all of his muscles relaxed, his breathing even. He thought about the upcoming month away from Will. Will, who always got moody and reclusive this time of the year, and never shared how he was doing when he was at his dad’s, even though he was usually so honest about everything else.
It left Mike an anxious mess, not wanting to overstep and demand updates from Will while he was away, but not wanting to let Will skate on by without asking for help or comfort when he needed it.
Mike’s breath started to come a little faster, everything in his body was growing agitated, and it suddenly hit him that he wasn’t feeling very well.
But then Will’s mouth opened. His eyes were still closed against the harshness of the sun, but he called out, “You coming to float with me?”
Will’s voice was light and gentle and it took some of the agitation away. Mike held Will’s voice in his head and breathed in and out, and after a little bit, everything felt more calm. Will was right there. He was smiling in the sunlight, floating as light as a feather, and still in Hawkins for now.
Mike pushed off the side of the pool to join Will. They floated side by side.
It was a good day, considering. Considering that it was June 29th.