Chapter Text
Luca’s always wanted to know what people are thinking, those whose importance has been proven a priori. Do they think that their talent is just a matter of luck? Are they confident in themselves? Do they consider themselves an indispensable link in world progress?
Tyra Banks just taught how to smile with your eyes; Michael Jackson erased half of the stage to slip with his moonwalk. And for many people, they’ve become something important (if not essential). It seems that everything here is a matter of the pure luck, but there’s still a small error.
And against their background, Kaneshiro feels like a fool. Talented people, they are like stars — you admire them, you’re trying to equal to their every shine, but any attempt to reach out ends in failure. Their importance is predetermined by fate, or even by the universe itself. They were made to bring light to this world. To shine up the way for those who admire them. How can Luca Kaneshiro, an ordinary boy from a school on the edge of town, ever get his ray of light?
Yes, all people are made for something, and Luca believes that his fate is to die in some kind of brawl, when an elbow hits his temple fatally hard this time.
The stars are hard to reach from the earth. Only if you're not an astronaut or one of those people who buy whole constellations in their honor for thousands of bucks. Sometimes it can be quite difficult to realize that in this bleak universe we are just small particles of dust, unable to do anything more than pass this bare air through our lungs.
We are just dust, but our main task is to feel.
To feel that much that you think for a second that you mean something.
But imagine how much we can do for each other.
/
Mysta wipes the remnants of watermelon juice from his lips with the back of his hand and looks at the light floor, on which, like bright stars, black bones are plastered with pink pulp.
The fan turned on doesn’t inspire any relief (especially in the heart), and Luca continues to stare at the TV, tearing off small triangles of watermelon with his hands.
"Mysta," Luca kicks with his heel. "I told you to change your T-shirt for an unnecessary one," on exhale. "It’ll be hard to wash."
"I bought this watermelon at the outskirts market," everything is also continuous. "It's like cheap wine - it washes off anyway."
The branches of a tree growing next to the house beat against the window jamb, showering small pieces of bark directly on the windowsill.
"Don't compare watermelons and wine," Luca wrinkles his nose. "You devalue."
"Wine or watermelons?"
"Watermelons, of course," under the lowing of the TV. "Why the wine is needed at all?"
"You just haven't tried anything good yet," Rias has to switch the children's channel with the knuckle of his little finger.
Luca licks his lips and thinks that if someone kissed him right now, that someone would be pleased with the sugary sweetness of Luca’s lips.
"I’m even afraid to imagine with what thoughts you've been drooling your lips for so long", Mysta’s trademark chuckle, mocking again.
"Imagining how I’ll kiss with your mother" this time it’s Luca’s trademark chuckle, snapping at his friend.
"Really hope that this amazing woman’ll take the lead in your kiss list", fake gasp.
"The kiss list that counts as many as zero people in it," self-irony is a useful thing sometimes. "Your mom better not be afraid of virgins".
"No fucking way!" Mysta almost spits in Luca’s face. "I can't believe that a handsome guy like you has never kissed in his life!" it's coming out too loud. "You're the fucking Luca Kaneshiro that every girl simps over!" Rias waves his hands, causing a few drops of orange juice to fall on the snow-white bed linen. "And even guys!"
Luca’s ears are starting to turn slightly red. He grabs the tips of the cartilage and frantically rubs it with pads of his fingers, trying to relieve the unpleasant sensation.
"Shut up, Mysta," fake laughter. "You’ve gone too far".
"As you say, you bitch ass nun"
/
Parents often turn on different melodies and songs for their children to make it easier for them to fall asleep. When Vox was little, his mother played audiobooks for him. Ike could only fell asleep to the gray noise. Mysta's father turned on some dubstep in front of the cradle. Perhaps it affected his behavior now.
As for Luca’s parents, they played Taylor Swift for him.
The summer air hits Luca’s bruised knees, and his bright red shorts are already smeared in mud.
He was closer to seven years old when he realized that his connection with music is inseparable.
Luca’s mom was going to the city for the summer, leaving little Kaneshiro alone to carry buckets of water for a half-deaf grandmother. The only entertainment was an old radio, and stealing berries from a neighbor's yard while his guard dog was sleeping. The sun bakes the face, leaving bright spots on the closed eyes. Luca opens his eyelashes when he hears the familiar melody from the radio.
Luca’s childhood was accompanied by abrasions on his knees and Taylor Swift’s songs.
Luca’s sixteenth birthday is in two days. Sand gets into the throat, unpleasantly mixing with the taste of old abkhazian wine. The sea smells like rotten fish, and the boy honestly doesn't understand why he came here at all.
His mother forced him – father Kaneshiro left the family when their kid was 3 years old, and as an excuse for this – Luca’s mother dancing with everyone on the dance floor of some cafe on the seashore (deadly drunk, please note).
And Luca is here. Left in the dust, as they say. And he doesn't want to sleep at all, and the wine stolen from the next table burns his palms. Jazz is playing in the background, and Luca thinks that the music here fits perfectly. And the glasses beat mercilessly often, and the heart bleeds, because they still cost money. He better stop worrying about the condition of people he doesn't know.
He's got Taylor Swift in his headphones again. It would’ve been better if his mother had given him concert tickets, not a player. "Music player is like a portable universal concert. Listen as much as you want, and even for free," he scrolls mom’s words against the background of his favorite song. Luca only thinks that the lights in this area are brighter than in his city.
Luca’s seventeen. It's a little over two o'clock, and outside the window there’re rare (even for such a big city) sounds of passing cars. It's easier for Kaneshiro to think that he can't sleep because of the moon shining directly into his eyes. And to be honest, he doesn't care at all that the curtains can be closed at any time.
Vox forced him to register on Twitter a month ago. There weren't much arguments, except "Well, it's cool there. You can read the news. Or laught at stupid homophobes". His entire feed is news about sports and Taylor Swift. Luca always looked with admiring envy at the fan content on it: what's there to hide, he can't draw, he can't sing either. But if every kilometer Luca ran automatically wrote out a check for $ 1 to the musician, then she would be a billionaire. Or is she already?
Luca is skeptical about covers. Some give the song a new breath, while others cannot even approximately convey the atmosphere of the song. It's like russian roulette - you never know what you're going to hear. And yet the sounding was important for the boy, he grew up on these songs. He cherished them with all his golden heart.
Less than five hours of sleep left. Luca doesn't know what is driving him at the moment. Perhaps wild boredom, or maybe ordinary interest.
The boy on his screen, without a face and with a guitar in his hands. The wrists are thin, hung with bracelets. Kaneshiro doesn't know much about guitars, but the one in the guy's hands in the video seems old.
Turns up the sound. Sits down more comfortably. Holding his breath.
This singing is a rest. Medicine. Hope. The words fly out of anonymous boy’s throat so easily, every chord clamped on the strings makes Luca squeeze the phone in his hand even tighter.
This guy seems to be all the good things that are so often written about in children's books. All the happiness has gathered in the only person who is singing right now.
An unusually warm stream of air envelops the bare ankles of his legs, and Luca is surprised when the video ends. The darkness in the room reminds Kaneshiro of his place, and the beating of his own heart is unpleasant.
The smell of the sun.
He didn't know what exactly it smelled like. But he was sure that it was so. With a taste of sweet singing, guitar in lean hands, languid hope in the heart and... Happiness?
Happiness when he sees his city in the geolocation section of an anonymous boy.
Coincidences are accidental. But not now.
And so the last two years of his life pass.
The faceless boy's account with covers was developing at breakneck speed right before his eyes. Luca was proud to have been with him almost from the very beginning. He even had to sacrifice his internet security: put his photo on an avatar and use his real name. Since childhood, Luca’s mother taught him not to tell strangers his real name on the internet. Vox says that Luca is a paranoid dumbass. On the other hand, it was more pleasant to leave comments under each new cover: the feeling that the object of your admiration will somehow see an icon with your face. He'll read your name. Find out about your existence.
The fact that they lived in the same city bothered him. His knees began to shake when he accidentally overheard a conversation between girls at school: about that anonymous boy. All this time he studied at luca’s school. And Luca was almost the last to find out about it. Rumors spread faster than the situation itself was realized, and Kaneshiro is increasingly peering into the hands of random students. He goes to school concerts in the hope of hearing familiar singing. He even went to the singing club for two months.
Why does Luca want to find the twitter boy so badly? He doesn't know himself. To shake his hand, or something. "Thank you for doing covers of my favorite songs! My whole routine is accompanied by them! I even sleep listening them! If I had insomnia, you would’ve cured it! How good is it that I don't have insomnia!" - is this how it should work? Luca is an extrovert, he knows how to communicate with people. But what he will do in such a situation remains a mystery, even when he runs this theoretical event in his head. He'll come up with something. In the meantime, he continues to peer into other people's wrists, and goes to school talent contests.
/
His name is Luca Kaneshiro, he loves orange juice with ice, and he’s an Aries according to the zodiac sign. The latter, by the way, is the reason why his first girlfriend broke up with him in the fifth grade. She was a Libra and said that her father was born on the tenth of April. He turned out to be an alcoholic.
Of course, he didn’t understand how zodiac signs work better after that. He knows that Tauruses are suitable for him. It's difficult with Capricorns, but he loves them. Well, more precisely, he cherishes Mysta. He doesn't know about the others.
Luca and his friends are driving to school together. The puppy-like boy wonders to whom Vox sold his soul to pass for the driver license the first time.
It's cool in Vox’s car.
And the music playing is great. The kind that Luca really loves. However, he doesn’t tell anyone. You know, something like a ballad. To hit the heart with honey straight.
“Turn on some rap!” Mysta is twitching in the front seat.
“I don't have any rap songs, Mysta,” Vox slightly squints his eyes, going into a turn.
“How not!?” he screams. “Who even listens to such bullshit!?” and he presses against the seat.
Luca stiffens sharply, exhaling through his nose.
“Me,” from the back seat.
“What?” Mysta looks over his left shoulder.
“I listen,” says somewhere in the window direction,
Through the reflection of which he can see a stupid Vox’s smile.
In Luca’s life experience, mint gum leaves a taste much longer than fruit gum. Especially the sweet mint. The regular taste’s also not bad, but he’s started to hate it with all his heart. It happened after one of the raves. He got drunk then and threw up under a streetlight. It was spring, still light in the evening. The guy next to Luca handed him a piece of gum. It was that exact bubblegum, mixed with a taste of vomit and bile - a complete collapse.
This taste is still in his mouth.
But, on the other hand, he got to know this guy better then. Of course, Luca was the initiator. He doesn't even know what moved him then. Most likely the desire to take a shower, because that day Luca promised himself that he would spend it without adventures. It didn't work out. He took a shower, but as usual, errors are always and everywhere. That's how the consequences of a hellish drunkenness led Luca to one of his best friends – Ike Eveland, who is now sitting next to him in the passenger seat and silently finishing his homework. If this is mathematics, then why Luca can’t see a single digit, but solid letters? And what was an excellent student doing near such an unfavorable place at three in the morning that day? Two questions that Luca wants to have answers for. Of course, there is also the third one: he wants to know the real identity of the boy from twitter. He would be very happy to discuss the new cover with his friends, but he doesn't want to distract Ike with his chatter, so he keeps silent.
Finally arrived. Ike grumpily shoves notebooks into his bag, while Vox takes a pack of cigarettes out of the glove compartment. Some people have a tradition of drinking coffee in the morning, doing yoga, and they also have a tradition - smoking a cherry cancer sticks behind the school yard before the lessons start.
"Who even started calling cigarettes cancer sticks at all?" Vox bares smooth teeth, but then hides his smile in the cigarette filter again.
“Probably Luca with his healthy life agenda,” Ike looks at Luca, who chuckles, causing tobacco smoke to escape through his nostrils.
“They're in the form of sticks and cause cancer. I haven't missed a single biology lesson! I know everything,” feigning indignation. “Even if I slept during them, the very fact of presence is important here!”
“That’s what you say about every subject,” Mysta lifts the cigarette in Vox's hands up with a filter. “You guys better speed up, three minutes left before the lesson starts.” he’s silent for a moment, but then continue. “Of course I want to be thrown out of here as soon as possible and bore each teacher to such an extent that they just can't stand my presence here, but it's a sin even for me to skip math.”
Luca feels the vibration from the notification on the phone.
“You guys better go without me, I’ll catch up with you later”
“Again?” – Vox chuckles. “Alright, love-hero.”
Kaneshiro follows his friends with his eyes and impatiently pulls out his phone. Finally. Here it is.
@lucakaneshirooo: omgggg thank you so much for the cover!!! I've never heard this song before, but thanks to you, i fell in love with its sound. Or with the way you sing it. I see you have a new capodaster by the way! Congratulations on your purchase!!! And thanks for the cover again!!!
@Unknownmusic: yeah, i just bought a new capo :) nothing will slip past ur attention, hahaha
glad to see u in replies again, and thank u for listening my cover!
Why are there so many questions in Luca's head, and his heart is about to break through his chest when an anonymous person responds to his comments? Luca doesn't know the answer to this question either. He needs to sleep less in class.
Luca twitches when the bell rings, causing the ash from the cigarette to fall right on his pants. Blows on it. It doesn't seem to have burned through. It takes about three minutes to walk from the yard to the classroom. It will take him as much as ten, because the first lesson is mathematics, and this explains too much.
For example, that he doesn't give a fuck about math.
8:18
Okay, he didn't calculate it.
It took more time.
However, Luca doesn't care.
“Decided to finally show up?” head bully at the school. Spick and span. If Luca had his way, he’d have stolen this white starched shirt and eaten a BigMac over it. Or in it. Same things. "It's been almost twenty minutes.”
Luca’s leaning on the door handle, and realizes that he’s a little shaky. Apparently, the cigarettes were too strong.
The blonde forgot to tuck his shirt in. Next to the bully guy, he’s sure he looks like a bum. Alright, anyone next to him will look like a bum.
“Mathematics has been created for centuries,” he pokes his toe at the floor, no longer paying attention to himself. Everyone seems to be used to it. Only Ike is staring. Luca looks like a dumbass from here. "Twenty minutes won't solve anything.”
Kaneshiro can see his face contorting. The bully definitely hates him, Luca bets. It seems that they already have had too many skirmishes for him to understand that it’s better not to develop this topic. Moreover, during fights, he punches painfully.
“Sit down quickly,” just like he knew.
Luca sends him a brief smile, as if in gratitude, although he’s sure the bully understands perfectly well that luca’s deliberately provoking him. The blonde walks past the rows, quickly looking for a place.
“Can I sit here?” pokes the boy, whom god forbid he sees for the third time in his life, in the shoulder. He just nods and pushes some notebooks to his side of the desk.
Luca flops down, exhaling loudly. Demonstrably, he throws the bag on the desk, starting to rummage through it, at the same time singing a song from the cover under his nose.
The bully’s sitting at the desk behind Luca. Breathing in the back like a bull on a red rag. It doesn’t matter.
“Kaneshiro,” – Luca doesn’t even look up at him. “Move to a desk far away,” he orders. The feisty he is in today, of course, is notable. But will that stop Luca?
“Will it change anything?” he’s pretending to be innocent. “Will your grades get better? Will discipline get back on track? Or maybe you’ll have a review on me?” that bitch's going to go berserk now, the universe is about to collapse.
He just ignores it.
“Why does he bother you that much?” sounds like a deskmate is asking himself.
"I don't know," Luca shrug. “The usual thing.”
He can see the unnamed guy thinking a little, fidgeting his pen more and more diligently in his hands.
“How can you talk to him so calmly?” looks somewhere into the distance. “I have a lot of conflicts with this gang, I'm used to it, but this individual has an aura that immediately makes you shudder.”
Luca can agree. In general, everyone is afraid of that violent boy. It is clear. The tone of his voice, his movement, facial expression, he doesn’t make concessions, he knows how to make a person shut up or just make them feel like in the very dirt of this place. And if he doesn’t see submission, he hits with all his might.
What Luca noticed is that bullies are much calmer when you’re worried in front of them. They seem to be fueled by this. Therefore, Luca chose a certain policy for himself in relation to them. Something like: even if, Luca, you're shaking, just don't show it in front of them.
Otherwise, he will simply lose.
And Luca doesn't like to lose.
Mysta stands near the blackboard, in front of him there's some simple quadratic equation. He stands quite relaxed, but secretly glances at Luca, and catching blonde's eye, immediately twitches his eyebrows while the teacher sticks to some papers, writing something quickly. Kaneshiro just pokes his finger at the stand on the left side of Rias with a detailed description of the solution and a lot of formulas. He looks at it and squints slightly, but after a couple of seconds raises his thumb up, starting to write something on the blackboard with chalk.
Luca leans back in his chair. Eighteen more minutes. That’s pretty long. He needs to entertain himself somehow.
What would he like to do? Well, of course, look at every angle in this class. Well, you can't call your deskmate an angle, but Luca doesn't really want to admit that his vision is sticked on a random boy either.
It's hard to look away.
But it’s not difficult to admit that you are staring at a beautiful person: long brunette hair, sharp cheekbones, bright eyes, pale lips, neatly ironed clothes and the smell of something baked.
Where did this boy even come from? Luca doesn't know his first name, last name, or anything. They hadn't really talked before. And in vain, probably.
Mysta continues to stand at the blackboard for the rest of the lesson. He writes correctly, but slowly. Luca, however, doesn’t look at him, but if the teacher doesn’t say anything, then everything is right.
/
During the break, Vox reminds Luca again that he urgently needs to join the club. Or he'll be kicked out. Well, or they'll just reprimand him.
Luca won't go to Ike's club - he won't be able to stand three extra hours of math a week. There were also no places left in the Vox’s book club – they actually had the last one, but he gave it to his younger brother, Fulgur. After all, if he hadn't help his brother, he’d have received a slap on the neck from his mother, so it's easier to send Luca to free swimming between all these clubs. Mysta’s a special case - a club parasite. He changes them every month. He’ll be kicked out of one, the other will disintegrate, the third will bore him. In general, Luca has to choose himself.
Luca points his finger at a random club on the list - the letter a, astronomy.
"You better go to the boxing one," Mysta quips.
"Counting stars is no less fun."
/
The astronomy club classroom is noisy, but when Luca enters it, he doesn't see a single familiar face. An unpleasant situation, but what can he do about it.
Still looking around the classroom, luca approaches an empty seat and is slightly perplexed at first, even biting his tongue. It takes him a second to look from head to toes on the guy sitting next to him. Long brunette hair, white shirt, purple eyes. At first this guy does not catch Luca’s eye at all, and then he meets at every step. It’s not like he’s against it.
“I’ll sit here, you okay with that?” smiles. Sincerely.
"Of course," he smiles. Luca hopes that he’s also sincere. "You didn’t even had to ask.”
The club meeting is boring. Well, at least for Luca. Maybe it was better to actually sign up for boxing? Between the hematomas and the Ursa Major constellation, Luca’d prefer the second by a huge margin.
The deskmate listens to everything teacher says, writes it down with a twinkle in his eyes. Still, it's great that he's so excited about this. Interesting, if he finds a telescope, will Luca be able to see the Ursa Major? Is it really in the shape of a bear?
The teacher says something about a pair project for the next month. Tell about any constellation. Draw it. Write about it. Luca wonders if the Ursa Major was a human, would he be able to make friends with it?
"Everyone here has been divided into pairs a long time ago," the brunette twirls a pen in his hands. "Wanna work together? If not, then it's fine, I'll do it all by myself somehow."
“Alright! The only problem is that I don't know anything about these constellations at all,” moreover, he doesn't even know how he ended up in this class. “But I’ll help in any way I can”
"No problem," he smiles again. "Thank you."
/
It's such a nasty feeling when you go out on the street, but it feels like you haven't gone anywhere. Well, you know, there is no wind, and the temperature is the same as indoors. What’s the meaning, you’ll ask. The brunette doesn't know it either.
Meaning.
“Hey you!”
Luca flies the whole flight of stairs with this scream, and it's not even possible to say that this guy was talking very cheeky to the scariest person in the school just a few hours ago.
Brunette’s backpack strap falls off, and he looks at blonde’s approaching figure.
This "blonde guy" seems quite grown-up, even though he's wearing this colorful sweatshirt, and his sneakers are torn, but it still gives out something of quality. His hair is disheveled, and there’s a little scratch under his eye. What a human-sized puppy.
"Since we're working together now, we should at least exchange numbers or something like that," he pulls his hand to shake. "I'm Luca."
“Shu. Nice to meet you”
/
I fell in love with you last winter, but the snow in my heart melted immideatly.
Nothing happens just like that, right?