Chapter Text
They met in plain daylight. It was terribly sunny that day. It was only supposed to be one mission. It was only supposed to be a partner ship. It was only supposed to be one night.
Knock knock*
Chuuya could barely hear the faint knock at his door at 2:27 am, but then the sound got louder. Knock knock knock knock*
The knocking stirs his thoughts. What the hell? Who is that? I must be imagining things.
Knockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknockknock*
The knocking got more persistent with every second like an annoying alarm, so Chuuya dragged himself out of bed in a bleary haze and made his way to the door tripping over the dirty laundry scattered on the floor. When he opened the door, he saw a familiar lanky frame standing outside.
“Hey,” The lanky boy’s voice was unusually soft and quiet, but he was still in his suit and jacket from work.
“Dazai, what are you doing here its so late…” Chuuya asked voice rough with sleep.
“I- um I just wanted to; I just didn’t want to be alone.” He paused and swallowed thickly.
Chuuya blinked. Was this really Dazai? Maybe he was dreaming. Fine, you know what lets just let it play out, Chuuya thought.
"Come in, just don't be loud." He lead the other into the kitchen
"Did you want something before you head out?" But when he turned around all those thoughts disappeared.
Dazai was shaking, trembling, his visible eye filled with one emotion, fear.
"Uhh- I don't know I didn't really think this through, I just needed- I didn't want to be alone" He took shaky breaths and talked rapidly.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted- I thought maybe you- I think-" Dazai apologizing? what a strange dream.
"Hey no, it's fine Dazai, honestly don't worry about it, come here." The small boy spoke incredibly soft as he took the other i to his arms and rubbed circular motions into his back. The brunette flinched at the direct contact but eased into Chuuya's touch.
They stayed like that for awhile until Dazai let up, Chuuya gave him some fresh clothes and said he could stay the night but Dazai refused and Chuuya went to bed and assumed that it was all just a crazy one time dream. The couch was empty when he woke and nothing had been altered so there wasn't any trace of Dazai to prove it. Until a familiar knocking occurred around 3:16 am weeks later.
_____Present Day_____
Chuuya did not only pop open a bottle of wine when Dazai left the port mafia, he threw a party. Well, there was a banner, and balloons so, it was sort of a party. At first he didn’t believe it. He started looking for Dazai, he thought someone had taken him or maybe that it was an elaborate prank. He went out to start his car and it burst in flames. Much like his heart when he ever thought of the third possibility, he actually managed to kill himself.
When he realized that Dazai actually left he decided why not throw a party? He also didn’t want to be alone, so he messaged a couple people from the black lizard and Kouyou to come. It took him a while to realize that no one would be coming. He popped open the first bottle and downed it. He then arranged the bottle he brought on couches and tables, even talked to them. He truly was desperate to not be alone. Then he popped open a second one, it went down his throat like flames but the truth was he was angry. He hated Dazai for what he did, but most importantly he hated himself. He hated the fact that Dazai used him, he hated the fact that he fell for all the lies, he hated the fact that he wasn’t enough for Dazai to stay.
He flipped over a table and he stood in the mess of glass and food. The longer he thought about anything the angrier he got, he needed to let it out. He screamed and found himself kicking and hitting the punching bag he brought, over and over again. It burst and then his legs gave out. Too tired to do anything else he laid down in the mess he made. He knew that this would always be how things turned out. He falls for a lie, places too much trust in them, then he gets betrayed, and has to clean up the mess that he should have seen coming. He grabs a third bottle and pack of cigarettes, then a fourth bottle. Barely standing he tries to make use of the karaoke machine. He sings and his voice reverberates off the wall to remind him. Chuuya will always end up alone. He feels his voice crack and break and now he’s not singing he is sobbing. He is sobbing in an empty room, alone, with only himself to hurt and blame. He grabs another bottle off the couch.
It was two in the morning when Kouyou went to check on Chuuya. She knocked to be polite, but when no one answered she knew something was up. Considering she was 4 hours late to his party she thought he would be mad or at least a little disappointed but what she heard was sobbing. Sobbing was never good. She managed to throw the door open and the stench was almost unbearable. She called out his name but no answer. She made it to the living room where she found Chuuya on the floor, mountains of trash and empty bottles surrounding him. She took the petite crying boy into her arms to comfort him. She tried to soothe him, telling him that it would be okay and that it was Dazai’s loss that he left but the tears kept spilling like overflowing faucets.
"He- he left me, he- *hiccup* he left me like… like, like I didn’t even exist,” Was the first audible thing Chuuya managed to make out.
Kouyou hated it. She hated the wailing and she hated this pity party that Chuuya created. Most importantly she hated the fact that Dazai was at the center of it. She knew that they were close. The small smiles shared under all the banter. Heck, Chuuya was head over heels with how much he talked about the stupid man. She remembered how she would warn him not to get close, that boy was Mori’s, and how he had many faces. Chuuya, stubborn, trusting, stupidly in love, Chuuya said that he knew that he would be careful but that would never stop him. And now her warnings had come true as she sat by him, helpless.
“Did- did he even care? Was I that stupid?” Kouyou was speechless because there was nothing she could say to make it better. He was spiraling into a broken state. “I- I trusted him- I did, I tried my hardest this time. Did- did I drive him away? Did I push him too far? Is this my fault?”
“No,” Kouyou interrupted,
“This was not your fault, it was his.” She pulled him closer.
“I really thought that someone would stay, I thought that it would be d-different this time” He croaked. “I- I loved him Kouyou, I did- I do, I really do, more than anything. It hurts. It hurts so much.”
“Hey Lad, I'm here for you. I am always here now and forever.” She rubbed his back to remind him that she was always there, his big sister always until she died like a binding oath. They stayed like that for a while, brother and sister, there for the loves and there for the losses. Because that’s how family works, when something you want comes they will tell you to go for it and when things get rough they will get you out.
“Let's get out of here, you can stay with me tonight. You are in need of a shower.”
“I really do,” He makes a noise that is a sad excuse of a laugh. It might take a while to get better but he knows that with Kouyou, it will be easier.