Chapter Text
Yoshida had always been popular with the ladies at school, even with some of the guys.
It was hard to find somebody who disliked him.
Except there was person who did dislike him. Hayakawa Denji; lover of women and hater of men.
He had a distaste for all men but it seemed that he hated Yoshida with a certain passion.
Knowing this, needless to say Yoshida was quite surprised when the same Denji who hated him stopped him on his way home to ask for help.
As far as Yoshida could remember they had never interacted prior to today, other than Denji giving the occasional death glare or flipping him off.
So why did the same Yoshida hating Denji sacrifice his own dignity and then some to ask Yoshida for help? Well, it was because of one thing and one thing only.
“Women!”
“Hm?” Yoshida tilted his head trying to show his confusion
“Don’t you play your mind games with me creep. You’re popular with women and you know it, they come flocking to you like geese to cheese!” Denji pointed to Yoshida as if to make his point come across more clear.
“Geese definitely don’t eat cheese.”
“Shut up asshole, you get what I mean”
“Hm, sure.” Yoshida let a smile creep onto his face “So what exactly do you want me to do”
Denji’s eyes lit up like he had just won the lottery, “Help me become cool and popular so I can date Asa. Im already cool as shit but I needa be cooler for Asa!”
Yoshida stifled a laugh, ”So this is what this is about. I’ll help.”
Denji made a silent cheer, “But..”
Denji looked up at Yoshida to see him leaning in, “Have you ever even kissed somebody before? If you haven’t I’m afraid I can’t help.”
Yoshida turned away from Denji as if he already knew the answer to his own question.
Denji on the otherhand was pissed. Who’d this asshole think he was assuming shit about him? “W.. Well for your information, I’ve kissed plenty of girls! WAAAY more then you’ll ever kiss in your entire life!” Denji yelled angrily at Yoshida.
Yoshida turned back around and crouched down to Denji’s height “Is that so? So if I kissed you right now you’d be so good it’d knock me off my feet?”
Denji’s face tinted red, “What’s that supposed to mean?!” He was losing his nerve; to this prick of all people!
Yoshida stood back up straight, “See I knew it.”
“Know what, dickwad?”
“I knew you’d never kiss somebody before, you got so flustered just by the implication of me kissing you. No way you’d have ever kissed a single girl.” Yoshida smiled making Denji shiver.
This asshole was so annoying! He must think he has him wrapped around his ugly, long, beautiful, and delicate fingers.. Shit, what the hell was he thinking! He almost gets kissed once and loses his mind.
“This isn’t over, Yoshida! You’re still gonna help me but I’m gonna vomit from being around you too long.” Denji stormed off furiously.
“I look forward to seeing you again, Denji.” Yoshida waved to Denji’s turned back
“Eat shit and die.” Denji muttered under his breath as he continued back home.
Unknown: Hey Denji ;)
Denji: who dis
Unknown: aw thats no fun, take a guess ^^
Denji: a hot gurl
Unknown: Close, its Yoshida
Denji: dammit
Denji changed Unknown’s contact name to “Dickwad”
Denji: howd u get my number fuckface
Dickwad: I have connections
Denji: well how about u connect my fist to ur face
Dickwad: As funny as usual, Denji.
Denji: ok what do you want
Dickwad: As I recall you’re the one who asked for my help
Denji’s face widened as he remembered what occurred earlier that day
Denji: ok so wut do i do to become cool for Asa
Dickwad: knowing how to kiss first will help :)
Denji knew Yoshida had that shit eating grin behind the screen.
Dickwad: but maybe we should start off simple, knowing how to swoon a girl would help. We could meet tomorrow and I could give you some tips, what time works best for you?
Denji: meet me at da liberry at 3:00. Asa likes inteleckshuals
Dickwad: intellectual*
Denji: Kys
Dickwad: <3 See you then, Denji
Denji groaned and slammed his phone down next to him on his bed. He rarely regretted his decisions but he was starting to think getting involved with Yoshida was a mistake.