Work Text:
A Very Different Decision
Minerva McGonagall watched as Albus Dumbledore set the toddler on the Dursley porch, and felt her heart break. Harry Potter was only a year old. He was just learning to speak and walk, though he could already ride a broom. Minerva had received multiple letters from the Potters that included pictures of Harry riding a toy broom, zipping around the house. James often told her to look forward to Harry's debut as the best Quidditch player Hogwarts had ever seen, while Lily mostly wrote that Minerva better watch out if Harry ended up in Gryffindor: he'd been a force to be reckoned with. In a good way, of course. Now they were both dead, and their son was alone on a porch in the middle of the night.
She'd watched the Dursleys. Petunia, Lily's sister, wasn't anything like Lily. She was a bland, nosy sort of woman who valued being seen as perfectly normal over everything else. Her husband was one of the worst Muggles Minerva had ever seen, sneering and hateful and held great disdain towards anything perceived as out of the ordinary. It was obvious he knew about magic too, and that he hated it more than Petunia herself did. Perhaps that's why she married him.
Harry was wrapped in a blanket, asleep on the doorstep with his hair a mess and the letter that Albus wrote tucked into the folds. Minerva couldn't imagine leaving him there with those Muggles, let alone leaving him there alone in the middle of the night to top it all off! Albus was crazy for such a plan. What was the purpose of keeping him with them? Was growing up without fame really worth the hatred and disdain he'd receive over the years from his relatives? Minerva knew that Albus saw both the worst in people and the best in people, but sometimes he got it wrong.
He saw the best in these Muggles. He believed Petunia would accept Harry because of a single letter, and raise him to be a humble child without the burden of fame resting on his shoulders. On the other hand, he believed the worst of Harry. He thought that if Harry grew up anywhere near the Wizarding world, he'd grow up full of himself and relish in his fame without a shred of humility. Combining those two things, he decided the perfect place for Harry was with his Muggle relatives.
Albus was wrong. The Dursleys would never accept Harry. They hated magic without reason, and they valued normalcy above all else. They were cruel and disgusting and were not fit to raise James and Lily's son. On the flip side, Harry could never grow up to be a pig-headed snob who believed he was better than others in every way simply because of a scar on his face and a fancy title. There was no way that could happen, not with Lily's blood in his veins; she was too kind and too fair for Harry to ever believe he was above anybody else. Lily had managed to change James enough that he leveled out to be an amazing man, truly growing into himself, and Harry would follow in their footsteps as an exceptional wizard.
But Minerva was afraid. Harry living with those awful Muggles, would he have the chance to flourish? Would his kindness go unseen, tucked away by a need to survive amongst those who hated him? Would his talents and determination be smothered by those who did not appreciate him? Would his self worth deteriorate until there was nothing left due to years of degradation by those who were meant to raise him? Was Minerva willing to risk letting that happen?
Minerva slid into her Animagus form and pretended to leave, carefully watching as Albus unlit the lights and Disapparated, leaving Harry Potter on the doorstep of Number Four alone, wrapped in blankets, without protection. Perhaps it was a good thing Minerva had made up her mind. Merlin knows what could've happened if she'd left him there, alone, overnight. The boy might've frozen to death, he might've been stolen, he might've been attacked! No no, he was much safer in Minerva's arms.
Back in her human form she cradled him, brushing back his bangs to get another look at his scar. Dumbledore told her he wouldn't do anything about it even if he could, which made her stomach twist. If there was anything to be done about it, she would do it. He deserved better than to be branded so badly by You-Know-Who.
With the one year old propped on her hip, his sleeping face resting on her shoulder, she disappeared, taking Harry Potter with her.
~~~~~
Minerva quickly realized that raising a child was not as easy as looking after her Gryffindors. Her students were old enough to understand the rules; sometimes they didn't follow them, but then they were at least old enough to understand when she scolded them for it. Harry… not so much.
Not to say she didn't have rules! Of course she did. Minerva enforced them as well as she could, and she tried to explain why it was a rule too. As he grew, he'd know what wasn't allowed and why not because he'd been told all the time for as long as he could remember. Unfortunately, he wasn't there yet.
In spite of the small problems (Harry constantly wandering off to explore, Harry hiding from her because he thought everything was a game, Harry being a surprisingly difficult eater, and more), Harry was a relatively good kid. He never chewed on anything, perfectly happy with the frozen chews she gave him or his binky, he didn't throw unnecessary tantrums, and he was an extremely quick learner. Despite his unruly temperament, he never did the same wrong thing twice. Sometimes it was similar, him trying for the same outcome through using a different technique, but never the same thing he'd been told not to do. It was both satisfying and unceasingly troublesome.
Hogwarts was canceled from November 1st to February 1st, calling it an 'extra Break' in place of their usual, much shorter, Winter Break. It was mainly for the staff, mourning the Potters that they had all known as both students and brave Order members, but also for the parents of all the students who needed their families home and whole to properly mourn those lost in the war, now that everyone was safe and the primary danger had passed.
That Break was a godsend to Minerva in adjusting to Harry as well as Harry adjusting to her. The first month or so he'd randomly wander around calling for his mother and father, and crying until he passed out from exhaustion when he couldn't find them. After that he stopped doing it as often, though sometimes he just walked up to her in tears and cried into her robes babbling out how he missed them and he wished they'd come back. It was hard to explain to a one year old that they wanted to come back but they couldn't, and that they loved him very much even though they were gone. She did her best, and just hoped it was enough.
The closer February 1st got, the more anxious she grew about what she'd do about Harry. Minerva hadn't really thought that far in advance, and it only got worse when Albus told her he planted Arabella Figg as a spy in Privet Drive to make sure Harry was alive and well as he grew. Minerva hadn't really considered that she'd technically kidnapped Harry Potter against Albus' wishes, and she didn't know who to turn to. In the end, she chose two people.
Severus Snape, her coworker/semi-friend, and Remus Lupin, someone who loved and cared about Harry as a guardian should. Of course, she had very different plans for them. Very separate plans as well.
That's what led to Severus Snape Flooing into her living room nineteen days before school started. His black robes stood out oddly in the room, and it was slightly amusing. Not to him, but definitely to her.
Minerva's living room was set up with the Floo fireplace against the wall, and two couches facing each other on either side of it with a table between them in front of the Floo. The furniture was all a lightly stained wood, almost white, and her walls were an even-toned neutral gray. The color in her house came through the embellishments in small yet very bright touches. Moving pictures hung in colorful frames, deep blues and bright purples and flowery pinks. Throw pillows decorating the couch in soft mint and sunshine yellow. Light switches in lipstick red and gaudy orange. Many people insisted it was eyesore, Severus being one of them. Perhaps that's why it was so amusing to see him, all black, standing in her living room.
"Severus." Minerva gestured to the seat across from her, and watched as he sat with stiff unease. "We need to talk."
"So you said in your letter." Severus said evenly, "What is it?"
"First, I need your word that you won't tell a soul about what I'm going to share with you today." Minerva looked at him with narrowed eyes, measuring how to best approach the situation. It was no secret how much he hated James Potter, so she was walking dangerous territory.
"You're keeping secrets from Dumbledore." Severus' eyebrows went up in surprise, a rare expression from him. "Whatever game you're playing is a dangerous one."
"It's an important one." Minerva said firmly, "And I need your word."
"Very well." Severus nodded, "First, give me insurance I'm not swearing on anything that might cause harm."
"I'm asking you keep my secrets, nothing more." Minerva said carefully, "I'm also asking you a favor. You don't have to accept, but you can't tell anyone what I'm asking of you regardless of your decision."
"I see." Severus frowned, and Minerva waited patiently as he thought it over. Finally, he nodded. "I swear that I will reveal nothing of what you say to me here today. I will listen and keep your secrets, whether I accept your favor or not." Minerva felt a whisper of a breeze against her chest, and sighed lightly.
"Thank you." She nodded, "Now, the favor first. I need you to use Legilimency to ensure Arabella Figg, residing in Wisteria Walk, Little Whinging, moves away and forgets her most recent mission given to her by Dumbledore." Again, Severus looked surprised.
"That's very dangerous." He said seriously, "You're directly asking me to possibly bring down the wrath of Dumbledore on my head, and by association, yours as well."
"I'm aware." Minerva replied flatly, "That is why I made you swear to keep my secrets. I'm not going to force you to do this, betray Dumbledore's trust, but you're the only one who can help me."
"Why?" Severus asked suspiciously, "Why Arabella Figg? She's a Squib, what kind of job could she have possibly been given? And one of such importance that you want her to forget?"
"She was asked to watch over Harry Potter, and to live near the Muggles he's been placed with." Minerva couldn't resist the way she pursed her lips in irritation. "Albus left the boy on Petunia's doorstep, in the middle of the night, wrapped in nothing but blankets and hoped that she'd treat him well. The fool."
"What makes you think removing the supervision Dumbledore set up is going to help anything?" Severus asked tightly, "If what you're saying is true, that boy is going to need more than a Squib looking after him to ensure he doesn't turn out a little monster just like his father."
"Leave that to me." Minerva said vaguely, "Regardless, I do not want her interfering. If you're willing, make her forget she was ever given that mission, and have her move to wherever she was before. Or anywhere, I don't care, I just want her gone and out of the way."
"Why should I?" Severus challenged, "You could do it too, it's simple Obliviation."
"I don't want you to Obliviate her." Minerva clarified, "Obliviation can fade, especially in those without magic, like Muggles and Squibs. I need you to use Legilimency to permanently remove any trace of Albus' request. Any at all."
"Are you planning on replacing her as Potter's secret guardian angel?" Severus sneered, his lip curling in irritation.
"No, I'm ensuring she never tells Albus that Harry Potter isn't with Petunia at all." Minerva straightened her back, and sighed. "Harry! Get in here please!" With a wave of her wand the Barrier she'd placed in the doorway fell, and Harry tumbled through it with a wide grin and happy little giggle.
He was just learning how to walk around without falling, which was adorable to watch as he stumbled his way over to her. As he reached her, Minerva scooped him up, lifting him by his under arms, and let him settle in her lap. He hummed lightly as he curled up, but then he noticed Severus and stared at him with wide green eyes.
"You kidnapped Harry Potter?" Minerva had never seen Severus' eyes so large, or with such lack of composure.
"I suppose that's one way to put it." Minerva said lightly, "In my opinion, he'll be much better off here than that dreadful place."
"You can't possibly raise him up yourself!" Severus raised his voice, "Think reasonably, Minerva. This is madness."
"I will not let James and Lily's son grow up with them, believing he is worthless dirt because of his magic." Minerva snapped coldly. Harry looked at her, and reached up to pull at her hair.
"Magic." Harry said, recognizing the word. "Magic!" He laughed, and lowered his hand from her hair to clap his hands in delight.
"Yes, magic." Minerva nodded, and she brushed back his bangs lightly to draw his attention to her. "Magic you have, and I have. Remember that."
"I can't believe this." Severus shot to his feet, pressing a hand to his brow and pacing across the room. "Dumbledore would be furious! Think of the consequences this could bring down on your head! And now mine as well!"
"I don't care!" Minerva stood as well, propping Harry on her hip as she glared at Severus with everything she had. "Albus Dumbledore believes he knows everything, and that his will is absolute. Everybody has a line in which they will not cross, and will not bend. This is my line, Severus. Leaving a child to be neglected and hated for his entire childhood on purpose is pushing me too far. Harry Potter deserves a good childhood, one without people fawning over him and one without fame, but also without suffering. I intend to give him that."
"I can't believe this." Severus groaned, "What about your job, Minerva? You cannot bring him to Hogwarts!"
"I'm working on that."
"Down, down…" Harry looked down at the floor and reached out a hand towards it, so Minerva set him on the floor.
"One moment." Minerva glared at Severus, then she knelt in front of Harry and pulled out her wand. "Lumos." The tip of her wand lit, illuminating Harry's face, and he gasped in wonder the same way he did every time.
"Magic." Harry said as he clapped his hands, laughing, and Minerva smiled, and waited. "Magic, magic."
"Nox." Minerva extinguished her wand, and Harry frowned. After a moment, Harry clapped his hands and a small ball of light appeared at his fingertips. He laughed again, and it danced across his knuckles, spinning across his palm as he giggled. Satisfied, Minerva stood and tucked her wand away.
"What was that?" Severus was staring at Harry, watching Harry play with the sphere of light he'd created by himself.
"He likes the Wand-Lighting Charm." Minerva shook her head, "To calm him from nightmares I would turn off the lights and light my wand, and watching the light move calmed him. Eventually he started copying me, creating his own light by example."
"Controlled magic at this age?" Severus frowned, and Minerva sighed.
"I was the same way." She looked down at Harry, and back at Severus. "Whether you like it or not Harry is with me now, and that's not going to change. So, will you help me?"
Severus left that day without deigning to give her a response. Minerva did not know what his silence meant, but she hoped he would inform her if he did as she asked. Severus could not tell anyone about what she'd said, but he also did not have to help her.
Minerva received word by owl two days later that he had removed Figg's memories, and not to contact him regarding his involvement ever again. Minerva took that sign as it was meant to be taken: he respected her decision, but he did not agree with them. He would not tell anyone, but he would not stand with her. Minerva didn't hold it against him.
Four days after her meeting with Severus, she finally tracked down Remus Lupin.
"Take a seat." Minerva said, and she watched him eye her dining room with a careful gaze. She'd chosen the dining room because it had more formal seating; she knew Remus would prefer that.
"It's been a while." Remus smiled nervously, "I haven't seen you since April."
"Before the Potters went into hiding." Minerva nodded faintly, "Actually, that is related to why I've invited you here today."
"Oh?" Remus fidgeted, and Minerva sighed.
"Remus, I know James was financially supporting you." Minerva said bluntly, and she noticed Remus' small flinch. "You didn't leave town because you were running from your losses: James, Lily, Peter, even Sirius– you left because you had no other choice. I know that."
"... Why am I here?" Remus asked softly, and his hands bunched in the scratchy fabric of his pants.
"Because I need your help, and I can offer you a job."
"Minerva, I cannot ask that of you–"
"That is why you are not asking, I am telling." Minerva said firmly, "This is a job you are well suited for. I can provide you with Wolfsbane, so don't worry about that. One night a month without you should be fine…"
"What are you talking about?" Remus frowned, "What kind of job?"
"Come with me." Minerva stood, and she led a very anxious Remus out of her dining room and into the hallway. The dining room was as pale as the rest of the house, little shoots of color shining from odd spots, same with the hallways. The trim on the ceiling in the hallway was painted a bright gold, and it shimmered in the light. It was one of Minerva's favorite things about her house.
Remus followed her to Harry's room, and she pressed a finger to her lips as she gently opened the door.
Harry's room was small, but not tiny, and she had added more color to it than the rest of the house. The furniture was still that pale stained wood: the crib, the dresser, the toy chest, and the majority of the closet doors. The walls were still gray, but not only gray. Minerva had decorated the walls with vines, green plants painted to climb the walls with flowers growing amongst the leaves, shades of every color among the deep green leaves and light green vines. The vine painted walls matched the green rug in the center of the room, and there were flowers painted on the bottom of the closet doors matched Harry's clothes hanging inside. When the light was on, the colors seemed to dance among the pale furniture.
"Come." Minerva beckoned Remus inside, and she led him to the crib. Remus froze completely as he laid eyes on Harry, fast asleep, his hair thrown across his face and his cheek squished against the soft mattress.
"... Harry?" Remus whispered in disbelief, raising his amber eyes to stare at Minerva in shock.
"Albus left him on Petunia's doorstep with nothing but a note as an excuse." Minerva whispered. She reached down and caressed Harry's face, smiling at the soft noise he made in his sleep. "I couldn't leave him there."
"You did not tell Dumbledore." Unlike Severus, Remus was calm as he said it. He understood.
"No." She confirmed, "He wouldn't stand for it, you know that as well as I do. He never thinks things through, and he thinks he's infallible until his plans fall apart."
"Like Lily and James." Remus looked away, and Minerva nodded stiffly.
"He was supposed to keep them safe." She whispered, clenching her fists. "They died because they trusted he would keep them safe. They believed in him so thoroughly that they did not even have their wands with them when You-Know-Who came for them. Can you believe that? No one man should have that much power over people. How can I trust him to protect Harry, a defenseless child, when he couldn't save Lily and James?"
Remus touched her arm, his head lowered, and she fell silent. Minerva had not known how angry she was until she was whispering it into the dark, halfway to tears. Those kids had been her students. Lily and her talent in Potions, James and his wonder in Transfiguration, Sirius with his skill in Charms, even Peter who wasn't extremely talented in any one subject! She had lost them all because Albus did not protect them. He knew they were in danger. He knew something she did not know, and they were dead because of that. Sirius Black betrayed them, and took out three of his best friends in one fell swoop. Albus had known something was wrong and done nothing…
"What is it you're asking of me?" Remus murmured, and Minerva took a deep breath to compose herself.
"I cannot bring him to Hogwarts with me." Minerva explained quietly, watching Harry as his brows furrowed, no doubt dreaming. "Someone needs to look after him when I am teaching."
"... Why me?"
"Because he knows you already, and you care about him enough in turn to keep this secret." Minerva admitted, "I want him to grow up without shadows following him. Fame, expectations, hardship… I want him to be able to have a normal childhood where he scrapes his knees and falls off his broom and plays with toys and laughs at his own accidental magic. I can give him that, but I can't always be there. Do you understand?"
"Yes." Remus nodded, "I promised James that I'd do everything I can to protect our family, and I will." His expression twisted in pain, and she sighed.
"You left because you had no choice." Minerva reminded him quietly, "James would forgive you, and this is your second chance." There was a short pause, and when Remus spoke next his voice was slightly hoarse.
"You don't have to pay me."
"Don't be silly, of course I do." Minerva scoffed, and she withdrew from Harry's room with Remus in tow back into the hallway, gently shutting the door behind them. "I will provide you with a room here, and I will pay for everything Harry needs. As for your employment, I will pay you a fixed sum once a week. It will be enough for you to live comfortably. You needn't spend it on food, I'll pay for that, but otherwise you can spend your money as you wish. Clothing, decorations for your room, personal belongings, I don't care. It is your money."
Minerva spent about thirty more minutes laying down all her rules, mainly convincing Remus he did deserve the money and he didn't need to pay rent of any kind, before she was pulled away as her Monitoring Charms on Harry's room went off indicating he was awake from his nap. Remus excused himself and left, but he promised to be back one week later so he could settle in before the school year started. All in all, Minerva was satisfied with his visit.
With Figg out of the way and Harry's childcare all set up, Minerva felt like she could breathe easier knowing Harry would be alright. Despite how she'd promised herself not to view Harry as her son but instead as her ward, it seemed she was growing more fond of him by the day and… that scared her.
The night she realized she loved Harry, truly loved him like a mother would, Minerva cried. It was painful, love, and she remembered how much it hurt to lose.
Thinking of love was what caused Minerva to delve into her past, and pull out the letters she'd locked away under her bed. They were from Dougal McGregor, the Muggle man she'd loved more than anything. Well, almost anything. She left him, mere days after their engagement, because she wasn't willing to give up her magic. Minerva was not willing to follow in her mother's footsteps: marrying a Muggle and forced to lock away her wand, lie to her husband, and make her children lie too. She could not bear it.
Of course, Dougal married a farmer's daughter not so long ago. She hadn't expected it to hurt as much as it did, hearing the news. Minerva remembered Albus finding her that day, heartbroken despite how many years it had been, and he comforted her as she cried her heart out. That's when he went from Dumbledore her mentor to Albus her friend. So much had changed since then…
Minerva tucked the box away again, along with her past, and decided she would not abandon Harry like she abandoned Dougal McGregor. There was nothing she wouldn't do for Harry, and that was a terrifying thing to realize. Even so, Minerva would never regret her choice to take him in, and she'd do it again if given the chance.
She changed Harry's life that night, and he'd changed hers right back.