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"Won't you join us, Reggie?" Barty asked, walking up to Regulus who was stood leaning against the wall, sipping his punch ever so slowly, looking into the enormous crowd. Barty was grinning all over his face, cheeks red and hair tousled.
"What, sorry?" Regulus asked, his gaze lingering on James for just a moment longer before turning to face Barty.
"Merlin, someone's distracted, huh?" Barty laughed, looking at Regulus. He leaned up against the wall beside Regulus, tilting his head toward him. Regulus only raised a bemused brow at Barty. "Reckon it's got something to do with that very handsome bloke currently dancing with Evans over there, am I right?"
Regulus immediately frowned and turned his gaze to James again. He didn't answer, just sipped his punch again and asked, "what did you ask me, Barty?"
"I asked if you'd wanna join Evan and I," Barty said, now looking toward James as well.
"Absolutely not," Regulus laughed. "Do I seem like a dancer to you?"
"Well, you did do ballet for six years, so—"
"Fuck off, I didn't have a choice," Regulus said, staring Barty dead in the eye. "I hated every moment of it with a burning passion and you know it," Regulus said with a mocking scowl on his face, looking into the crowd again.
"Right, yeah," Barty laughed, "alright, then. But I suggest you join us at some point - don’t think you can stand here undressing Potter with your eyes all night."
"Fuck you, I am not undressing him with my eyes," Regulus punched Barty in the arm, nearly spilling his punch in the process. "What are you still doing here, anyway? Is Evan not waiting for you?"
"Shit," is all Barty says before rushing into the crowd, presumably to look for Evan. Regulus laughs and downs the rest of his punch before setting the empty glass down on a table beside him.
He crosses his arms, his gaze immediately snapping to Potter again, almost naturally. As if it was an instinct. He was dancing with Evans, laughing and smiling, hands on her hips, swaying her around in slow, careful circles, and Regulus wanted to promptly throw up. That should be me, he thought, and quickly became immensely disgusted with himself.
He sighed deeply before pushing off the wall, making a beeline for the exit. He hears Pandora call out to him while walking, but doesn't reply. The air suddenly feels uncomfortably thick and he is in need for some fresh air.
When Regulus makes it outside, he collapses against the freezing wall of the castle almost immediately. He sits down and starts pulling at his tie, trying to loosen it just a bit. He can't breathe.
He runs his hands through his hair once his tie is literally undone and lying on the cobblestone beside him. He places a hand over his racing heart and rubs at his chest. He fucking hates panic attacks and how they creep up on him when he least expects them to. Although he can usually feel them coming on from the way his hands go numb, they still frustrate him immensely.
Regulus is so busy trying to calm his fucking racing heart and his rapid breathing that he doesn't even hear it when someone else walks out into the courtyard. The other person's presence goes unnoticed until Regulus' name is called and he feels a warm, comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Regulus?" He hears the person ask, and Regulus realizes that he knows that voice. He thinks he'd know that voice anywhere, follow it anywhere. He thinks he'd even follow it into death, if he had to.
"Regulus, hey, look at me, would you?" It's in this moment that a little ding goes off in the back of his mind, and suddenly Regulus is well aware of who's talking to him and gripping his shoulder in a very comforting manner that spikes Regulus' heartbeat once again. His eyes snap up to meet deep, beautiful hazel ones. He freezes, his whole body tensing up; he doesn't even dare to breathe.
In front of him sits James Potter, who is looking at Regulus with such a worried expression planted on his face that you'd think he was looking at an injured animal. James eases and tightens his grip on Regulus' shoulder continuously. Regulus thinks it's meant to be comforting, probably to perhaps gain his attention, but all it does is rile Regulus up because James Potter is touching my shoulder right now.
Regulus quickly snaps out of it and blinks when he realizes that he has been staring into James' eyes the whole time. He pulls his gaze away and swats at James' hand as best as he can without really touching it because he's certain he'd combust if he did so, and James understands immediately and removes his hand because of course he does.
"Are you alright?" James asked, standing up and holding out a hand for Regulus to take. Regulus takes James' hand reluctantly and lets himself be pulled up from off the ground.
"I'm perfectly fine, Potter," Regulus replied, expression blank but not harsh, because he doesn't think he could ever have the heart to actually be mean to James. James bends down to pick up Regulus' tie, handing it to him with a small smile that makes Regulus want to rip his hair out. Regulus hesitates before grabbing his tie, then looking James in the eye one last time, lifting his eyebrows to signify that he is indeed fine, before turning and walking away.
Or he would’ve walked away if James hadn't grabbed his fucking wrist and hauled him right back to where he stood just a second ago.
"Are you sure? You seemed a bit... out of it, I suppose," James said, still holding onto Regulus' wrist tightly, Regulus must say. It's almost as if James was begging him not to walk away. But that would be insane, right?
Regulus sighed and ducked his head, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "What are you doing out here, Potter?" He asked, avoiding James' question. What was he supposed to do, tell James the truth? No, James, I'm not alright, I was in the middle of a panic attack because I saw you dancing with someone that wasn't me.
"I was just... I needed, uh—some fresh air, I suppose," James said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly avoiding Regulus' eye.
"You suppose?" Regulus asked, suddenly amused because James Potter is flustered right now.
"Yes, well, you see... I was—" James begins, but doesn't get any further because suddenly his gaze snaps to what Regulus assumed was someone else walking out into the courtyard behind him.
Regulus turned to look at whoever had stepped out into the courtyard and having seemingly distracted James, but before he could see who it was, James was tugging him behind another wall.
"What the hell, Pott—" Regulus never finished his sentence, because before he knew it James had a hand clamped over his mouth, keeping him quiet.
It was in this exact moment that Regulus realized just how close he and James were. They were standing tugged into a tight little corner hiding from someone, and James had Regulus pinned to the wall, his body pressing up against Regulus' own. James had his free hand placed on the cold wall beside Regulus' head. His head was turned away, probably looking to make sure whoever he had been so eager to hide from would not find him.
A moment later there was a voice calling out. James. The voice was calling out for James. Where had Regulus heard that voice? It sounded so familiar, it was almost—
"We're hiding from Evans? Why?" Regulus whispered as he tugged James' hand away from his mouth. Only then did James look back at Regulus, and it was then that James also realized how close they were pressed together, because his cheeks flushed a deep crimson. Regulus doubts he would've been able to see it in the dark of the night, had he and James not been just inches from one another.
"Yes. Now shut up," James replied, looking away again. He made no move to remove himself from Regulus' proximity, which Regulus was oddly happy about.
"Why, Potter?" Regulus hissed. Wasn't he swooning over Evans? Why on Earth would he hide from her?
"She—she can be a bit much sometimes," James whispered, looking back at Regulus. "Yeah, she's my best mate, but she's exhausting sometimes."
"I thought you were in love with her? Why would you hide from her?" Regulus asked. He was genuinely curious now.
"What?" James laughed, then continued, "no, no, nothing like that. I mean, sure, I had a thing for her back in third year, but that was three years ago."
"So, she's not your girlfriend?"
"Definitely not, no."
"Do you have a girlfriend?" Regulus was getting bold now, he knew that. But he needed to know.
"No, not really my, uh—my area."
Regulus was quiet for a moment, staring at James with furrowed eyebrows, trying to wrap his head around what James had just said.
"What do you mean by th—" Regulus began, then cut himself off when he saw what worried expression crossed James' face.
Oh.
Oh.
"You’re queer?" Regulus asked, realizing too late that what he had just asked came out as more of an accusation than a question, because the second the words had left Regulus' mouth, James was pulling away, that worried expression now more scared than ever.
Regulus immediately pulled James back by the shoulder, apologizing profusely.
"No, wait, James, I'm sorry, I—" Regulus cut himself off, taking a deep breath. "That was not an accusation, I'm sorry I made it sound like one. I just—sometimes I say things and they come out harsher than I intended and I—never mind. That's—that's not important. What's important is what you just told me. I mean, you're queer?" Regulus asked, still gripping James' shoulder.
James was quiet for a moment before he realized that Regulus was merely curious. He exhaled, a breath he didn’t even realize he had been holding in.
"Yes," James whispered, looking Regulus in the eye.
"Merlin," Regulus whispered. "You, really?"
"Yes," James laughed. "What you do you mean? Do I not look queer to you?"
"Honestly? No, not at all," Regulus whispered, a smirk forming on his lips.
"Oh, please, I look plenty queer, thank you very much," James said, smirk forming on his lips as well.
Regulus laughed, really laughed. And then James clamped another hand over his mouth and shushed him, looking back again.
"I think she left long ago, James," sounded Regulus' muffled voice from beneath James' hand.
"One can never be too careful," James whispered smugly, looking back at Regulus.
James made no move to withdraw his hand, and Regulus' eyes snapped to James' own, pupils widening. Regulus thinks he could relish in James' eyes forever, never had he seen eyes so alluring and delicate and beautiful.
A short moment seemed to stretch into a million, and suddenly Regulus didn't know how long it had been, but James had cleared his throat and had begun to pull away and Regulus was now panicking, wanting to do everything in his power to not let James go.
"James," Regulus whispered, his voice delicate and quiet. Regulus gripped James' upper arm, pulling him back, and James obliged.
Swiftly, their bodies were flush together again, one of James' hands pressed against the wall beside Regulus’ head, the other dangling awkwardly by his side.
Regulus' back was pressed against the wall, one hand on James' upper arm, the other slowly making its way to James' face.
Regulus carefully rested his hand against James' jaw, thumb softly brushing his cheek. James leaned into the touch.
"James," Regulus whispered again, unable to pull his eyes away from James' lips - there was something so captivating over them. James hummed softly in response.
"Can I kiss you?" Regulus asked, voice so quiet it was barely a whisper.
"Yes, please," James replied, immediately. He instantly rested his free hand on Regulus' hip, eyes shifting to his lips.
Their faces shifted closer together. Regulus hesitated a little before leaning in, fully closing the distance between them.
The kiss he planted on James' lips was just a little peck, over in the blink of an eye.
When he pulled away, James was laughing quietly.
"What?" Regulus asked, frowning.
"You call that a kiss, Black?" James teased, pressing his thumb into Regulus' hip, causing him to squirm.
"Oh my God, shut up, I've never done this before," Regulus whispered, looking down, blushing.
"No?"
"No."
"That's okay," James smiled, ducking his head to catch Regulus' eye.
"Yeah?"
"Of course. And you're in luck, Black, because I have done this before," James teased again, grinning.
Regulus blushed again, "of course you have," he murmured, before averting his gaze to James' mouth.
"Regulus," James leaned in, mouth to Regulus' ear.
"What?" Regulus asked, struggling to keep his voice steady. He could feel James' breath on his neck.
"Can I kiss you?" He whispered in Regulus' ear, his voice low and soft, sending shivers down Regulus' spine.
"Merlin, yes," Regulus almost pleaded, making James pull away and grin at him.
James leaned in, and Regulus closed his eyes.
The kiss was nice. Really nice. James' lips were so soft, and the way they pressed into Regulus' own had his knees almost buckling. James' hand planted firmly on Regulus' hip, pinning him to the wall, was the only thing keeping him steady.
The kiss was pleasant and slow, and Regulus was sure that a minute or so passed before they both pulled away for air.
Regulus' lips tingled with the lingering touch of James' own, and when he opened his eyes to look at him, he was surprised to find him already looking back at Regulus intently, a content smile on his lips. Regulus could feel his cheeks heat up.
"How was that?" James murmured, voice soft as ever. Regulus couldn’t get enough.
"Amazing," he whispered, resting his head against the uneven cobblestone of the wall.
James smiled. "Can I kiss you again?"
Nodding, Regulus whispered, "I think I might actually die if you don't."