Archive of Our Own

1972 — Great Hall, Hogwarts.

Lily was more attentive than usual that day. Remus noticed the ever so unnatural restlessness, how her green eyes swept the hall quickly at any sign of movement. It was a special day, Remus knew, but no more special than any other year starting at Hogwarts, and he genuinely couldn't tell why she seemed so nervous. James, apparently, had noticed the same— but that wasn't surprising, not coming from him. James was, of course, a little more attentive to Lily than all of them.

"Evans, by Merlin, what's been bothering you so much?" James questioned in a cautious tone, but it was clear that he appeared concerned.

"None of your business, Potter." Lily replied, her expression closing suddenly, clearly annoyed. 

James directed a look of desperation at Remus, silently pleading with him to get her to talk. Remus sighed, too used to this situation. Of them, Remus was the closest to Lily, and even though he had explained several times that you only had to be a slightly less inquisitive and curious person for Lily to like you, James persisted in pestering her with questions anyway.

"But everything 's all right, isn't it, Lily?" Remus asked gently. "You do seem a little nervous to me."

Lily bit her lower lip, looking at Remus and then at James as if considering answering— she knew, after all, that Remus had asked out of concern, but it was obvious that she didn't want to talk about what was bothering her in front of the others. James seemed to have understood the hesitation, and turned his face away, entertaining himself with the conversation between Sirius and Peter. Remus knew he was still listening, but Lily didn't need to know that. Patiently, Remus waited for her decision. Lily was not a girl who liked to be pressured, and she usually reacted badly to that kind of behavior. 

"Well— it's silly, really." she eventually muttered, and then huffed. "My best friend is getting into Hogwarts this year, and I didn't get to see him this summer because my family traveled to Italy. He— it's not my place to talk, but I worry a little."

Remus frowned, but nodded. He hadn't understood the reason for the worry, after all he didn't know Lily's friend— he didn't even know she had a best friend outside of Hogwarts! — but it was clear that he was not going to question Lily beyond what she was willing to talk about.

"Another Gryffindor?" he decided to inquire, and Lily laughed.

"No, he's probably going to Slytherin." she commented, and smiled, appearing to be a little better all of a sudden. "I always say he's so— Hufflepuff, you know? He hates it, we always argue about it. He's kind, and despite all the things, very loyal. But he is, all in all, a perfect Slytherin too."

"Then we'll be enemies!" Remus joked, but Lily made a funny expression. "Lily?"

"He— I don't think he'll do well in Slytherin." she whispered, almost as if admitting out loud what she thought was dangerous. "They're not— well, not all of them are bad, I understand that, but most of them— most of them hate people like Sev, and I—"

"Lily." Remus touched her shoulder gently, noticing the slight tremors in the girl's body. "I'm sure everything will work out."

Lily sighed, but didn't sound convinced, "I'll take care of him no matter what happens, so— yeah, I'll do that."

They both fell silent as they noticed the new students coming in, and even though he didn't want to, Remus found himself paying more attention to them. Usually he didn't really care about the ceremony, too entertained by the food to do anything but clap when a new student was drawn into the Gryffindor, but curiosity was poking Remus. He wanted to know, after all, who Lily's friend was. Not that it was easy to find out, especially among all the kids heading to the front of the hall, but he kept an eye out.

"Oh." Remus heard Lily sigh, and it didn't take him long to follow her gaze.

The boy was a little short, but that was not at all abnormal among them— and Remus was clearly the worst example to talk about height. Being a werewolf implied much more than just monthly transformations, and he was naturally bigger and stronger than most boys his age. But the boy didn't look well, anyway— his skin was abnormally pale, and his dark eyes didn't really seem to contain any kind of life. In addition, he also looked terribly thin. Remus could understand Lily's concern now.

"Severus." Lily whispered, attracting Remus' attention. Her expression was pained, and the trembling intensified some more. Remus swallowed dryly, and looked at the boy again, noticing this time that he was also looking at them.

The previously lifeless eyes suddenly seemed to glow, and the boy smiled a little, nodding shyly at Lily. Although he was eleven years old, his small, lanky stature made him look much younger. Remus couldn't say that he was much older than the boy— thirteen years old isn't much anyway, after all. But with that little smile, with that little gesture, the boy suddenly seemed healthier, or maybe just more excited. 

"I think— would the hat let him come here?" Lily muttered, biting her lower lip again. "When he went to sort me, I asked—I mean, I begged, really—he wanted to put me in Ravenclaw. I have nothing against it, but I wanted— well, I made friends who got into Gryffindor, you know? Would the hat listen to Sev?" she turned to Remus, her face open in fragile hope.

Remus also bit his lower lip, and in the end shrugged, "He needs to ask."

Lily's shoulders dropped noticeably. She nodded, defeated. It went without saying that Severus would not ask to be drawn in the Gryffindor—somehow, Remus knew that. But he didn't know if it was because he thought Severus didn't want to come to Gryffindor, or if the mere thought of him asking for something was difficult to accept— because Remus could see the boy already, and he didn’t look like someone who would ask for anything.

"I know." Lily murmured, and they went back to being silent.

The hat began to distribute the students to their proper houses. One by one, the number of new students was dwindling. When Severus was called, Lily momentarily held her breath and straightened her posture on the stool. Remus also stood at attention, still very curious. The hat barely needed to land on Severus' head to get a house for him.

"Slytherin!"

The shouts from the new student's house roared in Remus' ears, and for some reason he was disappointed. Beside him, Lily was possibly distraught.

1973 — Near the Black Lake, Hogwarts.

Remus peeked behind the tree trunk, finding Severus reading a book among the roots. A small smile broke out on the Gryffindor's face, and he silently moved closer. Severus was so absorbed in the narration of the book that he barely noticed Remus' presence until the older boy stopped in front of him. With a surprised expression, Severus suddenly closed the book and pressed it against his chest, lifting his head to face Remus with wide eyes.

"Hello." Remus smiled gently.

Severus frowned, looking suspicious. He knew who Remus was, Lily had introduced them as soon as they got some alone time. That didn't mean, however, that they were friends— quite the opposite, Severus was apparently a rather difficult person to approach, and Lily had warned him of that. Not that it mattered, at least not to Remus. He still felt that intrigue with Severus, and Remus had always been very patient. Expecting Severus to trust him was no problem at all.

"What do you want?" Severus eventually muttered as he noticed that Remus was not going to say anything more.

"Nothing really." Remus shrugged, and his answer only seemed to have made Severus more frustrated. "I just saw you here and came to say hi, Severus."

"Well—" Severus appeared to be at a loss for words, but he was stubborn, as Lily had already pointed out, and didn't like to appear to be surprised. "Well, you've already said hello, so— so you may go."

Remus couldn't help it— he laughed, a little surprised at himself as well. Severus stared at him with an angry expression, perhaps because he thought Remus was laughing at him, which wasn't exactly true. Remus was not laughing at him cruelly— no, far from it. Remus just thought he was cute, something that some people around him would not agree with. Severus had already gotten some ugly looks from some of Remus' classmates, and James in particular didn't seem to like him one bit, but Remus knew it was just because he was jealous of Lily, and that it wasn’t Severus' fault. Although the Slytherin knew how to defend himself very well, he hadn't provoked anyone yet.

"Can I sit here with you?" Remus decided to ask, certain that explaining why he had laughed would do little for Severus.

"Why?" he grumbled.

"Because I want to." Remus shrugged again, and Severus let out a long, torturous sigh, as if Remus was being mean to him or something. That alone made Remus want to laugh again, but he controlled himself. "If you don't want to, I can leave."

Severus turned his face to the other side stubbornly, just like a child would, and Remus caught himself smiling. Lily had mentioned that he was naturally lonely, and having company was not something Severus knew how to handle well, but Remus didn't mind. He was a lonely boy, too, and he knew how to get along in silence very well. 

"If you insist." Severus eventually muttered, moving to the side, making room for Remus.

With a satisfied smile, Remus didn't wait much longer to sit down next to him. He also wedged himself between the thick roots of the tree, and once he had found a comfortable position, he turned to Severus, who was watching him intently. Remus gave him only a small smile, and that seemed to be enough for the Slytherin. Severus focused on the book again, indicating that he wouldn't say anything more, but Remus didn't care. He rested his body against the tree trunk, closed his eyes, and let the comfortable warmth embrace him. Before he knew it, Remus had dozed off.

When he awoke, Severus was still there, and a brief tinkling of magic hovered between them. Remus only noticed that Severus had perfectly placed a spell to keep a comfortable warmth between them when he got up to leave and noticed how cold the evening had become.

1974 — Gryffindor Common Hall, Hogwarts.

Lily was visibly annoyed, and Remus didn't really need to ask what had happened to make her that way, not least because the moment he entered the Gryffindor communal hall, he quickly noticed Severus wrapped in red and gold blankets with a bleeding nose and a frustrated expression. Remus barely had time to worry about the boy's condition, however, because apparently a fight was still going on.

"You guys are pathetic!" Lily shouted, and Remus followed her gaze, finding, not surprisingly, Sirius and James on the other side, near the fireplace. "What did Severus do to you guys? He just wanted to say something to me and you—you attacked him!"

"Oh please, Evans, your friend is hardly innocent." Sirius grumbled, his face closed in disdain. "Any Slytherin knows this is our territory, he shouldn't be trying to venture here."

"Territory, Black, what are you? A dog?" she growled, and Remus almost couldn't hold back a chuckle hearing her say that. If she had known about Padfoot, Lily certainly wouldn't have said that. "Severus has done nothing, I repeat, nothing to you!"

"He's a Slytherin—" Sirius tried to argue, but Lily cut him off.

"I don't give a shit about your ridiculous prejudice against Slytherins, Black, Severus is a person, he is my best friend—" she hissed, her green eyes glittering with hatred.

"Your dear friend knows more curses than any student our age, Evans, I think he might as well look after himself just fine." James interrupted her, which only seemed to make Lily more annoyed.

"And what's the problem with that? He hasn't used anything he knows on you, anything— If he had, ah, you can be sure, I would know. Severus has been very kind, actually—" Lily brought her hand to her hair, almost as if she was going to pull it out, and Remus could see how much she was trembling. Severus saw it too, apparently, because he stood up and moved closer to her.

"It's okay." he whispered, touching Lily's shoulder. She flinched for a moment, but eventually allowed herself to soften at Severus' touch. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Your nose—" Lily murmured, but Severus shrugged it off.

"It's nothing new to me." he muttered, low enough for only Lily to hear, but Remus, on account of his werewolf part, could also hear it. "I can fix it in my room."

"Madam Pomfrey can—" Lily still tried to convince him, but Severus was already discarding the blanket.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Lils." Severus smiled minimally, and planted a kiss on her cheek.

Remus watched Severus’ dark eyes stare at James as he did so, and he almost let out a laugh— Severus knew how to tease someone, after all. Lily didn't seem bothered, however, and if she realised what he did, she didn't say anything. James closed his hands into fists, and Sirius grimaced. Severus paid no attention to them, and after saying goodbye to Lily, he took no time in heading towards the entrance to the communal hall.

As he passed Remus, however, Severus directed him a look and a brief nod, which Remus found himself easily returning, as if they were colleagues. As soon as Severus was finally gone, Sirius let out a series of muttered bad words and stomped out of there. James looked unsure what to do, but, still frustrated, was quick to follow Sirius without looking at either of the two present in the room. Lily let out an annoyed snort, and then threw herself into one of the armchairs.

"Your friends are pathetic, Remus." she grumbled with her forearm resting on her eyes.

"What happened?" Remus decided to ask, going to sit in another armchair.

Lily removed her forearm from her eyes and stared at him, her expression full of boredom and yet a certain fury, "Sev came here to talk to me about something, but I wasn't here, so he stood waiting in front of the door. Potter and Black found him, and they thought he was—I don't know what they thought, or if they thought, to be honest. But they started arguing, and Black— that bastard, he punched Sev!"

Remus grimaced, "He should see Pomfrey."

"Sev— no he can take care of broken bones, if that's the case." Lily shrugged, but still looked visibly worried. 

It was the second time one of them had mentioned that Severus knew how to handle this kind of situation, and Remus couldn't help the worry growing inside him. Actually, it wasn't even the first time he'd heard either of them say that these uncomfortable situations were something that he was used to— the first time he'd seen Severus, in fact, Lily had told him that she was worried about him because of something. Could it be that he was used to getting hurt? But that seemed to make little sense. Severus wasn't clumsy, he was one of the most attentive people Remus knew.

The other option was—well, it was worrying. If it wasn't Severus hurting himself by accident, then someone was hurting Severus on purpose. But no—Lily was very worried about him, she wouldn't let someone continue abusing Severus like that. Even if she couldn't act directly, Lily would ask someone for help.

Remus hoped she would, at least.

1975 — Somewhere in some forgotten classroom, Hogwarts.

Severus muttered another healing spell, and the last cut finally closed. With an exhausted sigh, he let himself fall completely to the floor, his chest rising and falling rapidly from the exertion. In front of him, Remus Lupin seemed to finally be coming into colour again.

"You idiot." Severus hissed, but Remus didn't seem close to regaining consciousness yet. Severus bit his lower lip hard enough to draw blood, and tried to think of something else he could do to improve Remus' condition.

It hadn't been his intention to attack, at least not to attack Remus— Severus had been being chased by some fellow Slytherin for a while, and he hadn't expected the person who was going to open the door to be Remus. The spell he had used was weak, more to scare than anything. It was a spell he had created himself, and one that needed to be improved if it was ever going to be used in combat. On anyone, the spell should have been no more offensive than a few small cuts of parchment, but Remus collapsed the moment he was hit.

Severus knew the counter spell, but for some reason it took a while to take effect on Remus, so he needed to start healing Remus immediately if he didn't want to hurt him further. Nervousness, however, started to get in Severus' way, because for some reason Remus was bleeding more than expected, and although he was a rather cold and clinic person when needed, that didn't mean Severus could stay calm in front of Remus, especially if he had been the one to hurt him.

"Idiot." Severus repeated, and this time his voice had a whiny tone to it. "What went through your head, by Merlin."

Remus was gentle with Severus. Unlike James Potter and Sirius Black, and Lily's other Gryffindor colleagues, Remus was always smiling and spending time with Severus. They could almost say they were friends, but Severus didn't like to think so because he knew that Remus probably didn't consider himself that close to him. Anyway, they had some sort of relationship— and besides Regulus, Remus was the only person Lily seemed to approve of among the people who hung out with Severus.

Severus needed to admit that he had some other feelings for Remus, but he naturally crumpled those feelings. Remus would never look at someone like Severus that way, and there was also the high chance that Remus wouldn't even like boys. And even though Severus knew the chances of Remus liking him were slim anyway, he still couldn't help but get worried and nervous seeing him all bruised up like that, especially when it had been his fault.

He knew Remus was hiding something—in fact, Severus knew what he was. It wasn't hard to tell, really, people just didn't pay enough attention, or maybe it was just Severus who paid too much attention to Remus. He was a werewolf, obviously. Perhaps that was one of the reasons the spell worked differently on Remus. Severus knew that werewolves were creatures whose wizards had little knowledge — both from fear and idiot prejudice — and many things about them were simply not known. 

Not that it mattered now— when Remus woke up, he would probably be furious with Severus, and rightly so. Lily would probably be angry with him, too. Remus and she were friends, and Lily always spoke well of him to Severus. 

"S-Sev—" Remus muttered suddenly, his hands groping the stone floor in confusion. His eyes were open, but confused, as if Remus was still processing the place he was in.

Severus's eyes widened as he noticed that Remus had awoken so quickly. He had looked terrible seconds ago, but suddenly his complexion had improved. He was still pale and weak, but he no longer appeared with that expression of impending death. Severus let out a relieved sigh.

"Lupin— Merlin, let me help you." Severus said gently, helping him to sit up. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been attacked by a library." Remus grumbled, bringing his hands to his face. "What happened?"

"It was my fault." Severus muttered, embarrassed. "I— I was running away from some guys, and when the door opened, I thought it was one of them and attacked. I only noticed it was you after I cast the spell."

"Are you okay?" Remus asked as soon as he heard the explanation, and Severus stared at him as if he had grown a second head. Remus almost laughed at his expression. "Of course I'm not mad at you."

"But—" Severus grumbled, confused, "But I attacked you!"

"You thought I was someone who wanted to hurt you."

Severus looked even more confused by his reply, "But that's no excuse! I should have— Merlin, I should have— I don't know, think before doing anything!"

Remus smiled, touching Severus' hand gently. He squeezed it firmly, and Severus felt his face warm at the contact.

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean to." Remus murmured, smiling minimally. He let go of Severus' hand and tried to stand up, but soon complained of pain. "Ah, but I'd love a little help... I don't think I'll be able to stand up without help."

"I'm sorry." Severus grumbled, and soon went to help Remus to his feet. "We should take you to Madam Pomfrey."

"No need to apologize to me." Remus smiled again. "And I don't want to go see Madam Pomfrey, she will— she'll want to give me those bitter potions. I just need some rest, that's all. You've taken care of the bruises, haven't you?"

And it wasn't a lie. Remus noted with some satisfaction that all the bruises had closed up, and that despite the pain, he was no longer bleeding. Severus was good with healing spells, as Remus had noted in previous years, and although he had never found out exactly why, he couldn't say he wasn't relieved to be in the hands of such a competent person. He didn't know what spell Severus had used, however, nor why it had had such an effect on him, but Remus calculated that it wasn't a good time to ask.

"I still think you should see Madam Pomfrey." Severus grumbled, helping Remus walk to the door. "I'm not a professional."

"But you are Severus." Remus muttered, as if that explained something, as if it meant something.

The two of them were silent then. Severus helped Remus back to the Gryffindor dormitory, and they never spoke again about what happened that day.

1976 —Somewhere in Yorkshire, England.

Remus received a letter as soon as he got home. It was from Severus. 

He practically begged Severus to write to him, which wasn't really something new for them— Remus was always begging for a little more attention from Severus, who was constantly closing himself off recently, afraid of being seen by Gryffindor. But Remus was persistent— stubborn, really. He wanted to get even closer to Severus, and despite knowing why and finding himself especially selfish because of it, Remus couldn't help himself. He wanted to be around Severus all the time.

Lily would probably try to strangle Remus if she knew half of how he felt about Severus. In recent years, because of the bullying Severus had suffered at school, Lily had become even more protective of him. James and Sirius had stopped bothering Severus so much because of it, really— the two of them might not have been afraid of Dumbledore or any other adult responsible for them, but they were afraid of Lily. James and Sirius knew that she would never be kind to them, would never even try to listen to their motives.

But Remus wasn't that afraid of her. Lily would probably be a little bit wary of him, but she knew that Remus had no intention of hurting Severus. If anything, Remus was one of the people who helped him stay out of trouble— Merlin knew that Severus could also bite, and when he attacked, things usually got ugly quickly. Remus usually didn't berate him, though. Severus wasn't afraid of him, and rarely felt guilty for hurting someone who tried to hurt him too. But he was afraid of Lily, surprisingly, and she could usually make him truly apologize and see his wrongs.

Severus, in Remus' conception, was an adorable little creature. He was moody and suspicious, and a great actor too. Severus could fool people easily, wearing a mask of constant coolness and nonchalance, and he almost always came across as superior to the rest of the people. But Remus knew him now, he had gained permission to cross Severus' almost impenetrable barrier and saw the boy who was hiding behind it, and what he found couldn't make Remus more pleased.

He was loyal, and most of Severus' concern was expressed through frustrated complaints. He was addicted to coffee and couldn't function properly without having a coffee mug a day, and almost every time he went without it, Remus would see him walking the halls of the school like a sleepy ghost, floating around the halls and not paying attention to anything. Those were the days when Severus would allow Remus to hug him, because he rarely had the energy to be embarrassed. 

Severus also had a great capacity for observation, and he was always on the lookout for the needs of others. Remus suspected, too, that Severus knew about him— he knew about the fact that Remus was a werewolf. Severus was too attentive to let that go, and on the days before the full moon he always tried to help Remus, even if the help was just offering more food or trying not to be so defensive around him. On the days after the full moon, too, Severus always seemed kinder to him.

Just the fact that Severus didn't find him repulsive for being a werewolf was enough for Remus to feel confident in pursuing their relationship. Normally Remus didn't entertain the idea of having any romantic pairings in his life, and as dramatic as it seemed, he used to actually believe that. Not that Remus didn't think anyone in the world was capable of loving him, but he did think that the people he would one day come to love couldn't love him back. It wasn't about the werewolf, perhaps, but about the very value Remus placed on his own person, but he didn't have to worry about that when it came to Severus— because Severus didn't find him repulsive for being a werewolf.

And the letters continued to arrive throughout the summer, much to Remus' delight. They were neither detailed nor written with any clear affection, but Remus knew that just the fact that Severus was writing to him was already a big deal. The last letter they had exchanged had actually managed to crack a big smile on his face.

1977 — Library, Hogwarts.

Severus was too entertained with a book to notice Remus' insistent eyes on him. Lily, on the other hand, watched the two of them with arched eyebrows, not the least bit surprised at what was happening right before her eyes. It was true that Remus was a very bad liar, and that hiding the complete adoration he felt for Severus was difficult— especially when he wasn't even trying, really— but Severus was also dense when he wanted to be, and the fact that he didn't notice Remus' eyes on him was comical.

And funnier perhaps was the fact that Lily knew that Remus could already pick up on the signs in Severus that he was likely to accept Remus' affection. Even if he had somewhat low self-esteem, Remus was quite attentive to Severus, and he usually didn't go wrong in his interpretations of the boy. Lily could notice every sign Severus gave Remus, every flushed cheek, every comment sweeter and subtler than the last, every look and smile, and Remus could too. It was no wonder Remus seemed to be invested in their relationship, even if Lily thought he was being too subtle with his own advances.

"So, Rem, I heard Black mentioning that you have a date this weekend in Hogsmeade." Lily said, and although she was referring to Remus, she was staring at Severus.

Remus, on the other hand, nearly choked on his own saliva upon hearing what she had said. He didn't have any dates this weekend, and even if he did, Lily would surely be one of the first people to know— the date would be with Severus after all, and only if he accepted, of course. 

"I-I don't—"

"With Mary, right? She's my friend, but she hasn't told me anything about it." Lily muttered, and despite her confused tone, she was still looking at Severus.

Remus tried once again to deny that he had a date, but he noticed Lily's gaze on Severus and realised that maybe that wasn't about his reaction after all. Not that it explained to Remus why she was lying about the date. 

"What do you think, Sev?" Lily asked, nudging Severus gently.

Severus, who until then had appeared to be paying no attention to the conversation, lifted his gaze and faced her with an expression that was hard to decipher. He looked annoyed, but not at them, "Well, she's a pretty girl."

Remus was surprised that Severus had answered the question, because until then he had seemed distracted enough not to have even heard what they were talking about. Lily on the other hand smiled, apparently pleased with something.

"She is, isn't she?" she almost purred with such satisfaction, smoothing the locks of Severus' hair that were falling across his face. "And it's not like Remus is ugly, is it?"

The Slytherin brought his gaze to Remus quickly, as if analysing him, but soon turned away, facing the book again. Remus almost felt rejected by his lack of answers, and was ready to say something, but Lily reached out her hand imperceptibly, as if asking Remus to wait. Now she had a big smile on her face, and stared at Severus with a certain amusement.

"R-Remus is not—Well, Remus is objectively attractive, of course. Is—" Severus huffed, almost shoving his face into the book. His ears, which appeared through his black hair, were visibly red. "He's much better looking than Mary Macdonald, that's for sure."

Lily nodded, victorious. 

"Well, but I think Black was lying anyway." Lily dismissed, shrugging. "Mary would have told me something, for sure, and, well—" she turned to Remus with a rather mischievous grin. "She's not really your type, is she, Rem?"

Severus raised his gaze as he heard what Lily said, and he looked really annoyed with her. Perhaps he had realised, after all, that Lily was the one who was lying, but they both knew that winning an argument with Lily was an especially difficult thing. Remus almost wanted to laugh— she had played along with them perfectly, only to elicit a reaction from Severus and show Remus just how interested in him the boy really was!

"You're right, Lily, she's really not my type." Remus shrugged. "And, well, I'm not going on any dates this weekend. If you'd let me just talk, I would have told you that," he complained.

"And what's your type?" Severus asked, even though his tone was not the usual tone of defiance and confidence.

Remus stared at him for a few seconds, surprised by the question, but then smiled, "Well, my type— I don't think my type is Mary Macdonald or any other girl in the school, and maybe in the world, Sev. I like boys."

Severus's eyes widened as he heard Remus' reply, and he blushed a little too, but in the end he only nodded without saying anything and went back to reading the book. Lily let out a chuckle, and when Remus looked at her, she winked at him.

Lily should have gone to Slytherin too.

1978 — Gryffindor Dormitory, Hogwarts 

Severus looked around, too curious to try and disguise it and pretend he didn't care to know every detail of the Gryffindor dormitory. Sitting on the bed, Remus watched him with a small smile on his face. It made him happy to see Severus acting comfortably, especially in his presence. It had taken years for Severus to be able to trust Remus enough to even allow him to touch him, and seeing how far they had come was satisfying. They were— well, they were something now. Nothing official, yet, but Remus intended to change that soon. 

"Well, it's as I suspected." Severus said eventually, sitting down next to Remus. "Pretty red."

Remus laughed, nodding, "That's for sure. And it's quite warm, isn't it?"

"Quite." Severus admitted, still looking around. "And I suppose being in a tower helps too." he pointed to the windows. "In my dormitory, the only thing you can see is the dark waters of the lake. Oh sure, once in a while I see some magical being, but still, not much light."

"But you prefer it that way, don't you?" Remus asked.

"I think so." Severus muttered, frowning. "I've never— I mean, I've always preferred the dark because it's easy— ah, it's easy to hide in it. Blend into it. But after you and I—" Severus huffed, a little flushed. Remus couldn't help but smile. "After you and I started spending more time together, I started to appreciate the daylight more, I guess."

"Glad to hear that." Remus said low, still smiling. "Since we started spending more time together, I've also found myself interested in a lot of different things too. It's normal."

Severus nodded, and a small but strangely sad smile opened on his face, "It's a shame, isn't it? That just as I'm starting to get used to all these things, you're leaving."

Remus suddenly understood the reason for Severus' expression, and couldn't help but share the same bittersweet feeling. They knew they would see each other again, but it wouldn't be like now, with the two of them in the same school and the only distance between them being mere stone walls. Remus would graduate, and Severus still had one more year at Hogwarts.

"You will learn to like more things, I am sure. And you'll teach me to like them too. I'll do the same when I'm away, always thinking of you." Remus whispered, taking Severus' hand and intertwining their fingers.

Severus blushed again, but nodded. He didn't look any more relaxed, however.

"I'm going to miss you." he admitted, in a low tone. "And Lily, too. I guess the only thing I like is the fact that Regulus will still be here with me, and I won't be totally alone."

"You should come home with me for the summer." Remus murmured, touching Severus's sad face. "And on the other holidays. You should live with me, all the time, inside me. That way we would never be apart, and I would always be able to hold you and make sure you are alright." he whispered, and Severus smiled a little.

"Live inside you?" he whispered, and pale fingers touched Remus's chest. "I would love to. It must be warm here."

Remus smiled, suddenly feeling affected by the avalanche of feelings Severus' words brought to him. He moved closer to the boy, kissing his lips gently, not wanting to break that calm between them. Severus returned the kiss, also in the same calm, kind intensity, and the addictive, repetitive motion soothed their hearts a little.

They pulled apart a little, but their faces were still close to each other.

"I would love to go home with you." Severus whispered.

"And why don't you come?" Remus asked, and he really wanted to know the answer, because it wasn't the first time he had suggested this to Severus, but the other boy never accepted it.

Severus sighed, and turned his face away, embarrassed, "Because— Because I'm afraid." he whispered. "Afraid that something will go wrong between the two of us, that I'll piss you off too much any day, or that you'll get tired of me. If I don't come home now, Remus, I could never set foot there again. My father— my father wouldn't allow it. He has reason enough to hate me, and if I ever manage to leave only to show up in front of him again months later, I think he— I think he will—"

"Sev!" Remus held his hands, which were now shaking violently. "Sev, I will never get tired of you. Never, Sev, never. I want you to come home with me so badly."

"You can't be sure of that." Severus grumbled bitterly.

"Yes I can." Remus said more firmly. "Because I love you, Sev."

Severus gasped at Remus' admission, and immediately blushed. They had never spoken openly about it before, and it suddenly seemed rather embarrassing to admit that kind of feeling, but Severus persisted, because he knew Remus deserved the truth, "I love you too."

Remus smiled, pleased and relieved.

"You will come home with me, and we will spend the holidays together. And then you'll go back to Hogwarts, graduate, and you'll come back to me again." he said, tucking Severus's fringes behind his ear.

"But I don't have anything—"

"We'll work it out." Remus allayed his worries, smiling. "My parents really want to meet you, I've been talking about you since fourth year. I'm sure they'll be more than happy to have you. And I'm not rich either, Sev, what if that's a problem for you—"

"And why would it be?" Severus grumbled, frowning. "Remus I— I love you just the way you are."

"I'm glad to hear that." Remus smiled, pulling Severus close, holding him. "You'll never have to go back to a house where people hurt you, Sev, not if I can stop it."

"Lily will be glad to hear that." Severus muttered. "She— I made her promise not to say anything to anyone, and she kept that promise. I know it hurts her to see me like this, and she always tries to get me out of the house during the holidays, but it's not always enough. She made me a similar offer once, but I refused because— because we live too close. My father could easily find me at her house, and that would put more than one person in danger."

Remus nodded, and it was understandable. He knew Lily had done her best over the years to help Severus, but he had also noticed that she always seemed frustrated with what she couldn't do. Lily always seemed guilty, and Remus for a long time wondered what exactly kept her from taking action. It was clear that it had to be something much deeper than just a promise with Severus, something between them that Remus might one day know, but at least now they could help Severus together.

"It's going to be okay." Remus whispered, kissing the top of Severus' head. "You'll see, we'll work it out."

Severus, who was naturally pessimistic, nodded as if in agreement, and a small smile swept across his face, "I trust you."

1979 — Yorkshire, England

Remus opened the door with a big smile on his face, seeing on the other side Severus and his trunks. 

"Welcome back!" Remus pulled him into a hug, soon pulling Severus into the house. It was snowing outside, and they both knew how well Severus didn't handle snow. "Dad, Mom, Sev's here!" he shouted, not wanting to part with Severus.

"I think the whole neighbourhood knows I'm here now, Rem." Severus teased as he left his trunks by the door, but he didn't deny the hug Remus gave him again, nor the innocent kiss soon after. "It's good to be back, I missed you."

"I missed you too." Remus smiled brightly, and before he could kiss Severus again as he wanted to do, his parents appeared.

"Severus, dear, welcome!" Hope approached them with a big smile, pulling Severus into a hug. Lyall came right behind, also greeting him. "Remus told me you graduated with honours, Severus, we are so proud of you!"

Severus smiled, embarrassed, but hugged them again. Remus was watching them with a small smile on his side, happy that things had worked out. They feared that when Severus didn't come home, Tobias or Eileen would alert the muggle police or the ministry of his absence, but neither searched for Severus, and he could live peacefully with the Lupins over the holidays. Severus even got a job to help with household expenses, as well as to pay for materials for the following year at Hogwarts.

Remus started working as an assistant professor at Hogwarts, which was partly good and partly bad— good because he could be closer to Severus, but bad because he was a member of the school staff now, and their relationship couldn't be the same as when they were students. Even if Dumbledore and the other teachers knew, Remus and Severus couldn't publicly show how they felt about each other. But Remus was happy with what he was doing, and it was nice to have some sort of stability in a job. And he liked helping— he hoped that in a few years, perhaps, he could become an actual professor!

"You must be tired, dear." Hope said as soon as they finished hugging, touching Severus's face affectionately. "Remus, help him carry the trunks to the bedroom, will you? Dinner will be ready soon." she said before leaving for the kitchen.

Lyall gave Severus a few friendly pats on the back with a smile, and didn't take long to follow his wife. 

"Well, you heard my mother." Remus said, and Severus was quick to go and help him.

They shared Remus' room now. At first, Severus stayed in the guest room, but he and Remus always ended up sleeping with each other anyway, and Lyall eventually granted them permission to stay together— Hope didn't particularly mind, she knew it was a futile effort to try and stop the youth. 

"Ah, Lily sent you a letter earlier." Remus said as soon as they set the trunks aside. "I left it here somewhere." he grumbled, fiddling with the papers on top of the desk.

Severus hugged him from behind, not the least bit worried about Lily's letter for now. Remus laughed, hugging his arms.

"Aren't you tired?" Remus asked, and received a kiss on the back of his neck as an answer. He shivered, "Oh, I imagine that's a no?"

"I've missed you." Severus whispered, nibbling gently on the back of Remus' neck. "Professor Lupin." he teased.

Remus groaned, closing his eyes momentarily. Severus merely laughed.

"Git." he grumbled affectionately, then quickly cracked a smile. "I love you, Sev."

Severus rolled his eyes playfully, drawing another laugh from Remus, but he eventually smiled too, kissing him again after saying, "I love you too."