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and we’re dancin’ all night
and you can try to change my mind
but you might have to wait in line
what’s a girl gonna do? what’s a girl gonna do?
i polish up nice
best believe i’m still bejeweled
when i walk in the room
i can still make the whole place shimmer
“And by the way, I’m going out tonight.”
Melinda tries to keep her voice as nonchalant as possible and tries to calmly exit the dorm room like nothing happened, but she can’t resist the dramatic flair of slamming the door right in her now-ex-boyfriend’s gaping face. And she meant to leave without looking back, but she just has to see his expression before she shuts him out forever. Priceless.
He never thought she’d do it. What did he think she would do? Stay with him after he stopped appreciating her the way she knows she deserves? He can’t possibly be that stupid. Melinda May has never and will never belong to anyone, no matter how many times idiots like her ex try to tell her otherwise. He should know that. The whole damn Academy knows it.
She has to fight back a giggle in the hallway in spite of herself. A giggle. When’s the last time she felt like doing that? Laughing by herself, with no one around to hear it? It’s been months. It’s been…
Since she started dating Chris.
Admittedly, going out with one of her fellow top students at S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Academy of Operations wasn’t Melinda’s brightest idea. Sure, she’s an operative, so in theory, it would make sense for her to date people from her own division, but it has never once worked out well for her. Most male operatives are all brawn and no brains, and despite initial appearances to the contrary, Chris turned out to be no different.
She should really see more Communications guys. There’s always…
Specifics aren’t important.
But maybe she’d have better luck.
As she fights back a laugh in the empty dorm hallway, Melinda finally feels like herself for the first time since she met Chris at that shitty burger place a few months ago. That was the first red flag. The second was…well, everything that came after.
She’s determined to look so beautiful on her night out that he might finally realize exactly what he missed out on by taking her for granted. Now that she thinks about it, she can’t remember if he ever called her beautiful. For that matter, she can’t remember if he ever paid her a single compliment in all the months they were together. There was always something that needed fixing, something that wasn’t good enough.
He always joked that he was a control freak. Melinda didn’t realize this need for control would extend to her. Somehow, in trying to be what he wanted, she lost herself.
Well, maybe she’ll find herself tonight, at the Black Bag club on the Academy campus.
She can’t remember the last time she did this. Put on a sexy dress just because she wanted to. Went out and actually chose to surround herself with dancing people. Melinda wouldn’t dance, of course, but the atmosphere of the club alone is completely out of her comfort zone. And she doesn’t know the last time she wore something that showed off this much of her body. Chris never would have let it fly.
At that thought, Melinda smirks and tugs down the neckline of her dress ever-so-slightly.
It’s not like she’s anticipating any men tonight. Actually, that idea is almost repulsive to her right now. But she does want to have a drink with Maria Hill and unwind a little bit. Even trained spies have to have a little ‘girl talk’ every once in a while, after all.
She spots Maria standing close to the bar and approaches her. Maria smiles when she sees her coming.
“Melinda!” she calls. “What brings you here tonight?”
“I’m celebrating.”
“Celebrating what? Hey, where’s your idiot boyfriend?”
Melinda breaks into a grin, the biggest she’s had all night.
“Being an idiot somewhere alone. Without me. For the rest of his life.”
Maria whoops loudly, turning more than a few heads in their direction. She never liked Chris. If Melinda was smart, she would’ve trusted her friend’s judgment from the beginning.
“I’m proud of you. You made the right choice.”
“Yeah, well. Enough about him. I don’t want to think about him again for the rest of the night.”
“The night? Try the rest of your life, sister.”
Melinda lets out a loud, kind of obnoxious laugh, and it feels so good. Suddenly, the events of earlier in the day fade into the background as Maria gets her some weird drink she’s never tried and insists upon making a toast.
The next hour passes in a blur of glasses clinking, slightly unhinged laughter, and just a little bit of slurred speech. Melinda’s careful not to let herself get completely drunk, but she’s definitely a little tipsy.
Then, abruptly, Maria drags her right back to reality.
“Hey, now that Chris is out of the way—”
“Really? I thought we weren’t talking about him anymore,” Melinda groans.
“We’re not. This is about somebody else. Now that your jackass boyfriend is officially your jackass ex, I know the perfect person for you.”
“Who…oh.” Melinda’s expression shifts from confusion to reluctant realization. “Not this again.”
It’s incredibly annoying how many times Maria has made the same suggestion to her over the years. Ever since their freshman year. It’s not an entirely disagreeable idea, she has to admit. There were more than a few nights that, as she lay in bed beside Chris, she couldn’t help but imagine herself with someone else.
Someone who was almost definitely the exact person Maria has in mind right now.
“Come on. You know he’d treat you right.”
In her half-drunk state, Melinda almost voices her agreement out loud. Truthfully, he would . He’s her best friend. She trusts him more than anyone not to hurt her. She’s experienced firsthand how much he cares about her, and he’s never been anything but a perfect gentleman in all the years she’s known him.
A little too perfect for comfort.
“I…I don’t want to date anyone. Not this soon,” Melinda stammers, desperately hoping there isn’t a blush creeping into her cheeks.
“Well, he’s coming this way,” Maria says, grinning. Melinda whips around so quickly she almost spills the champagne in her hand. “You’d better think of something to say to him.”
Shit.
Melinda immediately regrets the last few drinks she’s had. She took great care not to get fully drunk, but she’s had just enough to loosen her tongue a little. Silence has always been her best defense against saying something she’ll regret, but now, every word out of her mouth could get her into trouble. Especially against him.
Phil Coulson, her best friend that she’s been nursing a crush on for almost as long as she’s known him, stands in front of her. Rather ridiculously, he’s wearing a full business suit. She’s rarely seen him in anything else, but he looks so out-of-place that she would laugh if she wasn’t so suddenly nervous.
“Hey, Mel!” She pretends not to notice how her heart jumps at the nickname. “Didn’t imagine I’d see you here tonight!”
“I…didn’t think you’d be here either.”
“Yeah, well. Garrett dragged me along.” He hesitates. “So, uh, who are you here with tonight? Hey, aren’t you dating Chris…what’s his last name? Where’s he at?”
“I finally dropped the dead weight.”
Almost instantly, Phil looks genuinely concerned.
“‘Dead weight?’ You okay?”
Melinda sighs. Of course he’d be worried about her. He always worries. She normally spares him the details of her breakups for this exact reason. He always checks on her, calls to make sure she’s doing okay, offers to come over to her dorm and help her forget about it. In the past, he’s made her a nice dinner with whatever she had in the fridge and played stupid board games with her until 2 in the morning.
And it’s really, really sweet.
But it never fails to make her want him.
So she just smiles and answers his question as honestly as she can.
“Better than I’ve been in months.”
Phil’s concern melts into a smile as he gestures for her to follow him. Melinda looks back toward Maria, but she’s gone. No doubt, she wanted to give Melinda some time alone with Phil. She rolls her eyes. Typical.
Melinda follows as Phil leads her closer to the bar, where there are two open stools. He pulls one out for her, and she nearly collapses despite herself. She’s never been one to fall for cheesy acts that seem like they’re straight out of a movie, but something about the way Phil does it…God. It’s probably that he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing anything special, but it means the world to Melinda.
Her standards are definitely at rock bottom. Unfortunately, she knows that even if they weren’t, Phil Coulson would still surpass all of them.
She sits down and makes small talk with Phil while she finishes her drink. He treads around the subject of her ex-boyfriend, something she’s immensely grateful for. As the two of them continue to talk, she doesn’t even know if she can remember what his face looks like anymore. It could be the alcohol, but she doesn’t think so. The man beside her is much more intoxicating.
She sets her now-empty champagne flute down on the bar. Phil stands up, and for an awful moment, she thinks he’s going to leave. But then he extends a hand to her. She takes it without thinking and nearly falls down when he starts to gently pull her up out of the stool.
His arm is around her in an instant. They both know she doesn’t need him to catch her, but she leans into his touch regardless.
“I’m sorry about that. Are you alright?”
She can tell his eyes are boring into her. She makes a concentrated effort not to meet them.
“I…I’m fine. Took me by surprise, that's all.”
He nods. It takes her a moment to register that his arm is still around her. She doesn’t bother trying to move him, but he must realize what he’s doing, because suddenly that weight is gone.
“Melinda?”
She looks at him again and realizes that he’s extending his hand to her.
“Phil, what are you…?” She trails off.
“May I dance with you?”
He seems almost shy. The way he did during their freshman year, when he was just a scrawny nerd with the most obvious crush on Melinda. Sometimes, she wonders what would have happened if she’d told him how she felt back then.
The memory is enough to make her take his hand. She won’t lose her chance again.
“I’m surprised at you,” he jokes. “I thought I was going to have to twist your arm a little more.”
“I’d whip your ass.”
He laughs, loud and clear. “Oh, trust me, I know. Still, I thought I’d have to insist. You’re not exactly one for dancing.”
“We can blame the champagne,” she says with a smirk. “Although I don’t think the steps we learned in the dance elective really works for this kind of music.”
“Just follow my lead. You trust me, right?”
It almost sounds like he’s flirting with her. The idea sends a swarm of butterflies…no, bees into Melinda’s stomach. It’s nearly enough to make her lose her balance again, but his hand around hers steadies her. She takes a deep breath.
Without warning, he spins her. She yelps at the sudden movement before colliding with him. Immediately, his arm wraps around her waist and helps her readjust.
“Did…uh…did Chris ever take you dancing?” he asks, seemingly out of the blue.
She sighs. Despite the thrill she feels at being so close to Phil, she can’t help the twinge of sadness in her voice when she answers him.
“He never took me anywhere.”
He nods, and they don’t speak again for a while. She gets used to the rhythm of the dance relatively quickly. The music isn’t exactly slow-dance material (much to Melinda’s chagrin), but Phil still somehow manages to turn it into something suitable for a partner dance. The steps are similar to something they learned in the dance elective, but he seems to be putting his own spin on it.
Despite her hatred for dancing, Melinda is far from complaining about the situation. The feel of his hands on her sends electricity throughout her body. She hopes he doesn’t notice her racing heart every time he pulls her against him.
“You polish up nice.”
She turns her eyes up to meet his. It’s the first time either of them have spoken since he asked about Chris.
“Hm?”
“Sorry, I…” He pauses and takes a breath. “You look beautiful.”
Well.
If she thought her heart was racing before, it’s nearly leaping out of her chest by now. She tries desperately to maintain her composure. Thank God for the low lighting in this place. She’s certain the blush in her cheeks is something to behold.
To distract him from the effect his words had on her, she rolls her eyes.
“Really, Melinda. And I’m not the only one. People have been staring at you all night.”
“And you know this…how, exactly?”
“Because I’m one of them.”
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Phil thinks she’s beautiful. Phil Coulson just told her she looked beautiful, and that he’s been staring at her all night. How many times has she imagined a moment like this when she couldn’t get to sleep? She’s been called beautiful by a number of men, but the compliment never meant much to her. Now, though, she can’t find the words to say anything in response.
She’s tired of ignoring how badly she wants him. How badly she’s wanted him for years. If she doesn’t make her move tonight, she might regret it forever. Live the rest of her life with an ass like Chris.
She won’t make that mistake. Not again. Not when the man she wants is right here, in front of her.
“You know…” she starts. “I wouldn’t mind if you were the only one.”
“That so?”
How did their faces get so close? Did she lean in without noticing? Did he ? If she moves just a few more inches, their lips would be touching.
Before she knows it, she’s closing that short distance between them.
Immediately, his arm tightens around her waist as he starts to kiss her back. His other hand finds its way into her hair, and she has to stop herself from making a soft sound into his mouth.
Too soon, he’s pulling away.
“Melinda.”
Shit. He doesn’t want this. She made a mistake. Shit.
“I’m…”
“Not here. Too crowded.”
For the third time tonight, he extends his hand to her. Breath catching, she takes it, and he immediately starts pulling her through all the people. The people who definitely just saw them kiss in the middle of the dance floor.
She can’t help but smile at that.
Phil leads her into a dark hallway. Melinda can still hear the music from the club’s main room, but it’s a little softer now. She can hear just how ragged her breath is. To her delight, Phil sounds the same way.
And there’s nobody around. This is much better.
She pulls her against him again, and their lips meet for a second time. Then, somehow, she ends up pushed against the wall of the hallway. She’s not sure when or how it happens, but the feeling of his body surrounding her as they kiss is absolutely exquisite. She’s not sure how long this goes on for. She loses herself in the sensation.
Then he breaks away again.
“Melinda, are you sure about this?”
She nods. And they’re making out again.
And then they’re in his dorm. He’s traded out pushing her against the wall for pushing her onto his bed. She couldn’t be more pleased with this arrangement.
He’s lying on top of her. Lips still pressed firmly against his, she moves her hands away from his hips and reaches up toward his tie. She takes it off in one swift movement and throws it somewhere. She doesn’t bother opening her eyes to see where it lands. Instead, she moves her hands to the first button of his shirt.
He pulls away from her mouth. She takes a moment to catch her breath.
“Melinda, are you really—”
“How many times are you going to ask me if I’m sure, Phil?”
“You’re drunk,” he points out.
“Not that drunk. Not drunk enough to regret this.”
“You sure?”
“ Phil ,” she sighs in mock exasperation.
He laughs softly. She takes the opportunity to capture his lips again. He seems to get the hint, and starts kissing her back just as passionately as she starts to unbutton his shirt.
The rest of the night flies by in a blur.
There’s a weight pressed around her midsection and against her back. Almost immediately, Melinda’s eyes fly open. She’s spent too long at Operations to feel comfortable waking up in unfamiliar surroundings. She nearly jerks out of the bed in a half-awake panic.
Then, as soon as it came, her worry disappears. She’s wrapped up in someone’s arms, and her back is pressed against a body. Chris?
No. He never held her like this.
Last night’s events come back to her all at once, and she can’t hold back a little smile. Somehow, she manages to turn herself around in the arms that hold her. When she gets settled again, she sees Phil Coulson’s face, right beside hers on the other pillow. He’s still sound asleep. Her smile grows even wider.
His face contorts for a moment, and Melinda worries briefly that she’s woken him. Without warning, though, he pulls her a little closer to him, remaining asleep all the while. Taking advantage of their proximity, she nestles her face into his neck and sighs gently.
Yeah, this is nice. Something about this…something about him just feels so right.
For so long, she had been with a man who never let her be anything but dull and lifeless. A man who made her that way to begin with. He never made her feel like she was something to be admired, something special. But last night, the way Phil looked at her…
He looked at her as though a whole room could shimmer purely because she’s in it.
Well, a diamond’s gotta shine.