Work Text:
February 14, 1993
Professor Severus Snape sighed in relief as the mass of first years dashed from his classroom. They were already six months into the school year, and some children still exited in tears, some in awe, and one idly strolled as if daydreaming.
What had Dumbledore thought when he had hired the bloody braggart Lockheart? It was bad enough that the man was a menace amongst the faculty. Still, telling the students they should implore me to teach them to brew love potions— the idea was prosperous. As if he would utilise his ingredients just to show a group of mangy, ruddy children that love is a manufactured notion that could be purchased. They are better off if they learn it on their own.
The internal grumbling continued as he swept his wand through the room, clearing the rubbish left behind by the students.
He stopped short when he looked down at his large mahogany desk that took up the left side of the classroom. A clear baggy lay atop it; inside, there was a peculiar assortment of pastel-coloured little hearts.
Without a second thought, he flung the bag into the rubbish bin.
February 14, 1994
The pop of the cork from the brandy bottle filled the silence. A silence that was not present 5 minutes ago.
The chaos from the cacophony of the day was enough to drive a man to drink- hence the brandy. But, now that it was the end of the day, he could savour the silence and his beverage of choice.
With renewed vigour after taking a satisfying sip, Severus began surveying the 2nd year's potions essays. As he went to grab the first one, he was startled by the ringing sound of thousands of marbles clattering across the floor. Then, taking a steadying breath, he saw that instead of marbles, there were about a dozen little pastel hearts scattered across the floor.
He accioed one of the noisemakers and looked closely at it. They were somewhat familiar, but it had been a lifetime ago since he had seen one.
A memory flooded his mind. It was a brisk yet sunny day, much like today. He and Lily sat lounging amongst the branches of the big oak tree outside her house. They traded the little conversation hearts they'd received that day at a school's valentines party back and forth. They were selective, as most nine-year-olds tend to be when their heart is on the line, as a little imprinted word atop a chalky bit of sugar could speak volumes. He did not want to inadvertently express the wrong emotion to his best friend by handing her one that said, 'True Love' or 'Soul Mate', which could have been a disaster.
The green ones were his favourite, naturally. But Severus always shared his pink ones with her regardless of the saying. Only because they reminded him of a dreadful medicine his mother would force on he'd been lucky, the mushiest saying he'd given her was 'Love Bug'.
Of course, the one before him was pink. The little words imprinted on it said 'Hot Stuff'.
He sneered in annoyance, then vanished it into the bin along with the others.
February 14, 1995
Once again, Severus was looking at his desk, glaring at the little baggy filled with pastel-coloured words that made him cringe.
Who the devil felt it was necessary each year to leave the candies was a mystery. At one point, he had questioned whether he was the intended victim for their cheery ridiculousness. Still, three times now did not a coincidence make.
Wondering the implications of the gift— if that was indeed what these were— he did not hasten to discard them this time.
Perhaps they'd been leftovers from the lesson he had taught his third years titled, 'Utilising Ingredients from the Unknown- Muggle Foods edition.' He had asked each student to bring in an item of food, where they would then try to dissect the usable potion ingredients if any were present. Most had brought tinned meats or crisps, and one had brought a bottle of Coca-cola. However, Severus was sure that was just because the young Mister Thomas had forgotten the assignment and just happened to have the drink on hand.
Now that he thought about it, he did recall seeing a package lying across one of the lab tables; that's right, Miss Weasley and Miss Lovegoods. It certainly sounded like something the flighty little creature would bring in.
For some reason, this brought a smile to his normally not-so-smiling face; he chalked it up to perhaps his youthful memories of her mother when she was a first year and he a prefect. But that made no sense, as they had no interactions, and he had no real memories of her. Perhaps the fondness was because she reminded him of his friend Lily— but no, there were no similarities, there for sure.
Nevertheless, he shook his mind from his thoughts; wayward thoughts got him nowhere.
Whether it was because he was curious or simply peckish, he pulled out a yellow one that said "Purr-fect" across it. Then, after scanning it magically to see if it was a ruse to bring forth his demise and finding no poison, he popped it into his mouth.
The chalky sensation was remotely pleasant, as was the touch of banana he could taste through the chalkiness.
He could come up with no reason for the upward angle of his lips as he thought of the humming, curious creature as she defied all natural laws of ambivalence that ruled his classroom.
Ambivalence be damned.
February 14, 1996
It was a pleasant day as far as February days went, making for a decent enough setting for an outdoor class. Severus showed the 5th and 6th-year Gryffindors and Slytherins how to collect and separate the herbs that grew along the black lake.
"Mister Malfoy, would you please pay attention to your clippings," Severus yelled towards the young Slytherin, who was so preoccupied with glancing up towards the castle to notice he was about to cut into Eloise Midgeons skirt instead of the weeds growing along the shore. But, of course, his young godson only had eyes for the bookworm Hermione Granger, who was taking her precious time to retrieve his potions encyclopedia from the lab.
Where was the blasted know-it-all?
"Professor Snape, sir, here you are." She huffed as she shuffled down, a side-smile for the moony-eyed Draco. "It was right on your desk. But so was this," She handed him a clear bag with the same familiar candied hearts he had seen last year and the year before.
Grabbing the book from her hand and then the sweet little treats as well, he stared at her as he questioned internally if she could be the one to leave the little Valentine treats each year. He saw that she was blushing, which would have added her to the top of the list had she not been blushing as she looked longingly towards his godson.
It was safe to say Miss Granger was NOT his secret admirer.
"Very well, be off with you. Collect your herbs post haste."
He turned his back to the class, pretending to be looking through his book. Maybe it was the sunshine supplying artificial serotonin and thus triggering the part of his body that rarely got acknowledged, but a smile twisted to life on his cold and ragged, weary face.
Someone was thinking of him and offering him kindness, something he didn't even know he needed. A beat shuttered almost violently in a cold and empty place inside his chest at the foreign feeling such service provided.
Eagerly, like a child, he poured the baggy into his hand. He flipped each one over so that the words were visible; even though the printing quality had not improved over the years, he noticed the word choices had undoubtedly changed. While there were classics, such as 'All MINE', 'MWAH', and 'TOO COOL', there were some new ones. He picked up the last— a green one and studied the words, 'PAGE ME'?
Some things he would never understand. But for now, he would take the artificial dopamine hit and be grateful to the secret candy supplier for their yearly contribution to this little thing that he would tell no one but brought him joy.
February 15, 1997
Severus snuck his hand into his pocket and gently fingered one of the little heart candies. Did he dare look at the words before he popped it into his mouth?
"The Slytherin student is going faster, although the Hufflepuff girl-is that Susan? Hello Susan, you look so lovely on your broomstick- is catching up..."
"Miss Lovegood, would you please just tell the score."
"Yes, of course, Professor Mcgonagal, Slytherin is in the lead. While Susan, who looks like a magnificent valkyrie, is not in the lead..."
"THE SCORE... JUST THE SCORE."
Severus took a moment when all the staff looked at Professor McGonagall, who was about to birth kittens, over Miss Lovegood's apparent mistreatment of the position as Quidditch commentator to sneak a look at the heart in his hand.
He'd be a liar if he said he was not pleased to see them sitting on his desk yesterday.
It didn't matter which staff member was leaving them, as he did hope it was from a staff member- honestly, it could be from Filch at this point; he wouldn't care. They made him happy. And that cold empty spot inside, feeling a little warmth, was a nice thing. So he would savour these until next year.
He was lucky; it was green, just like he had hoped and said, 'So Fine'.
Severus looked over at the kerfuffle going on at the announcer's desk and smiled to himself as he enjoyed his candy.
February 16, 1998
Severus slammed the door shut as he barrelled into his classroom, startling the 6th-year students into silence, "Turn to page..."
He stopped short as he stared at his desk and, more importantly, at what lay atop it.
His sour mood could be considered normal (although Dumbledore had accused him of getting milder the older he got, the damn bastard). But really, it had been brought on by the weekend of being ignored. Not ignored per se, but not noticed either.
Each year now, for quite some time, it had been customary for there to have been a gift- the hearts, to be waiting for him on Valentine's day, but alas, this last valentines day, there were none. Of course, Valentine's day had been a Saturday, and no one had had access to his desk on a Saturday, but it was the heart of the matter- no pun intended.
He had grown to appreciate the small token of kindness, and it had not been there when he had expected it; therefore, he had spent the entire weekend after escorting the students home from Hogsmeade in a drunken pity party in his chambers. Hence, hungover-sour mood.
But here they were, a little too late, but here nonetheless. And Severus now knew it was a student giving him the gifts. So he vanished them immediately into the trash, not caring which one of those sitting behind him its sender was, not caring that they had breached through his defences and pierced a part of him he had shielded so reverently, not caring who or why they had done what they had been doing for so long.
Not caring that the little piece of his heart felt even more dead inside.
With a turn and a flourish of robes, "Turn to page 943."
Quite some time later...
September 1, 2009
The delicious smells of the first-day feast preparations wafted through the castle and into the courtyard. However, the grumbling gurgling noise emanating from Professor Severus Snape's stomach was a stark reminder that he had not eaten that day. Now, if the new staff members would quit dilly-dallying and hurry up, he could retire to his quarters and find a snack.
Why Dumbledore thought he, the surly bat of the dungeons, was the appropriate person to greet the new faculty arriving and show them around the castle was beyond him. He had never been one to give off the welcome wagon vibe. But, of course, the old headmaster never was one to make much sense anyways.
He paced as two figures appeared at the bridge's apparation point and began the trek forward. One he knew immediately, her big mass of curls giving her away.
Hermione Granger-Malfoy was joining them this year as the new interim library madam. She would be taking over for Madam Pince. The octogenarian-plus had finally agreed to retire after having been prodded for the last five years.
Severus had thought that it was most interesting that Professor Grubblyplank had also announced her retirement this year. He'd always had suspicions about her and Madam Pince, not that it was any of his business, but the matching forwarding address confirmed it. Unfortunately, all he knew of the other Staff member was that they were coming to take over the Care of Magical Creatures position.
His stomach rumbled again, and he scowled as he bellowed towards the distance, "If you don't mind, I'd like to get this started and finished as soon as possible. Do hurry it up."
The pair halted their tarrying, hustled into the courtyard opening, and sat quickly on a stone bench in front of him. The mass of curly hair sat rim-rod straight as though a student again, awaiting him to assign a lesson on the importance of slicing vs splicing.
The other.
The other made his breath falter.
Tall, with soft flowing waves of silken hair the shade of starlight, and eyes the same shade of blue as the night sky, looked up at him and smiled the most beguiling smile he had ever seen. The ethereal creature swayed gracefully as she stood as if the breeze serenaded her with a private concerto.
She wore well-worn and muddy boots and green cargo trousers that were loose and oversized. A checkered shirt was knotted around her waist, and she wore a shirt with a picture of bigfoot riding atop the loch ness monster across her chest- not that he was looking.
In the traditional sense, Luna Lovegood had always been a lovely child, at least what most would consider pleasing, not that he had ever looked. But she looked a lot like her mother, and he had supposed he had always believed that she would grow to be a beauty like her before she had passed, but this was different. This was otherworldly. This was…
"Are you well, Professor Snape? Wait, I'm not a student anymore..." The mass of curls broke the hypnotic spell he was under with her joyful glee, "I get to call you Severus now, don't I."
"Professor Snape when students are around," He corrected her and returned to his surly persona swiftly. Then glancing quickly at Luna, he amended, "But yes, in private, you may address me as Severus. And yes, I am quite well, Mada…err."
"Just Hermione will be fine in private as well. Madam Granger around students."
"I had always wanted to be called madam Lovegood, but that had only been a select few I had wanted to have called me that, and never students. Come to think of it, there were some here in the castle, though..." Severus drank in her voice as though parched and given a glass of the purest crispest water. Then nearly choked as he considered what she had just insinuated.
He had to turn around and steady himself against a stone statue as she continued, "However, I think at this time, Professor Lovegood, Professor Luna, or even just Luna will be fine with me."
Severus thought too long and too hard about the different ways he wanted her name on his tongue before he heard a loud grumble fill the space. Embarrassment filled his face like he had not felt in a long time as his stomach decided to join the conversation.
"Severus, are you sure you are all right? Do I need to call Madam Pomfrey?" Hermione asked with sincerity and a pained concern. "Heart disease is prevalent in men your age, and indigestion can be an early indication…."
Anger started to roil inside him before his stomach grumbled again, causing Just Luna to giggle and share a glorious smile and look of understanding his way.
"Hermione, I don't think Severus is sick, and forty-nine is really not that old," She looked over at him.
He could not be sure what was more surprising, that she knew his age, that she didn't consider it that old, or that her gaze was eyeing him the way he had just moments ago.
"He's probably just hungry. I also forgot to get breakfast; it's easy to do when you get too busy. Today is a big day for all of us. Hold on; I think I have a snack in here somewhere."
Severus was truly mystified; had this been ten years previous, he would not have allowed this ridiculous conversation to take place. But, of course, if this was ten years previous, he would not be looking at her and imagining being the man allowed to call her Madam Lovegood. Hell's bell, he had no business imagining it now. But he was utterly under her spell as she began searching for something as she sat on the bench before him.
A cell phone with gaudy stickers on the back, a tube of chapstick, a writing journal and fluffy ended pen, a twenty-sided dice, several vials of potions, a rope the length of his arm- she must have Hermiones handy expanding charm cast on her trousers- and even a little hedgehog that wandered off when she set him down came out of her cargo pockets.
"Ah ha, here we go; they are left over from last valentines day. But I don't believe food can expire, especially something so processed. I know it's not much, but it may relieve your hunger a little bit?" She held in her hand a familiar looking baggy with even more familiar-looking little pastel hearts inside.
Then she took his hand in her own before dumping them into his opened palm.
Something inside him sputtered, then hummed to life. Something that had laid dormant for far too long. The cold empty part of his heart was no longer cold nor empty; instead, at the touch of her hand, it was filled with a burst of warm, luminous sunlight that was almost blinding. His pulse sped up, and Luna gazed up concerningly towards his bewildered expression, which probably did look a lot like indignation, but instead was a deep understanding of how the Luna-shaped pieces fit inside his Severus-shaped heart.
How he had missed these little tokens of joy over the last several years.
"My mum used to keep these at the house year-round, 'why only share kind words on a cold day in February?' she'd always say,"
It was like the world had shrunk; it was now just the two of them- he couldn't even sense Hermione's presence in the courtyard. So old and young, dark and light, brooding and beaming, Surly and Sunshine. Yet it felt right, her hand holding his.
Her soft finger picked up a blue one that matched her eyes and held it out to him, "See, they have little sayings on them, remember? This one, this one says, 'U R A 10',"
Severus did not have to fake the confusion; it came naturally. But he wanted her to keep talking, but he took the blue heart from her hand and held it up to look at it, "What does that even mean?"
Luna giggled lightly, "It means," Her fair skin pinkened slightly, and he instinctively inched closer towards her. "You are a ten. So you would be a ten on the attractiveness scale of 1-10. Doesn't that feel good, Profess..."
"Severus..." He interjected; he could not have her call him Professor. He needed to hear his name on her lips, especially when she was insinuating that she may possibly find him attractive.
"Severus," She said, and her cheeks pinkened a little more. "Doesn't that feel good? Here, eat that one, then pick one out for me. This is fun."
She pushed it up to his lips. He flicked his tongue out and captured the blue candy. Severus had never tasted a portion of food more divine than one fed from her fingers.
"Now do me," Luna said, with a magnificent exuberance- and he usually did not find exuberance attractive, but it was breathtaking on her.
He had to close his eyes at the idea of her words and then bring himself back to earth. She was no longer his student, and he had never had any untoward thoughts of her when she was a student. In fact, it was as if he was seeing her for the first time.
It was right, it was pure, it was good, and somehow he knew she was his.
"Pinks are my favourite, by the way." She said, with what he could definitely tell now, a genuinely flirty smile.
Severus looked at the assortment of candies in their cupped hands that just looked so right together. Only one pink sat there amongst the sea of pastel blues, yellows, purples and greens. It was flipped over, so he could not see what it was saying. Although, unlike as a child, he now wanted nothing more than for it to be the gushiest, most romantic saying written across the bit of sugar that would speak the emotions he felt he could not express at that moment.
He picked it up and held it between the two of them so they could both see. The word 'Soulmate' emblazoned upon it.
Luna looked nonplussed as she leaned forward and plucked it from his fingers with his lips.
He knew then the candy had spoken the greatest truth, and she knew it as well. He smiled at her, grateful he would be seeing her radiantly sunny smile for as long as she would have him. "My heart is yours."
The End