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It didn't feel quite right...
In fact, he feels awful.
Gavi often recalled the humiliating loss at the Allianz Arena. Red and white shirts overwhelming them due to their intensity. The unfortunate attitude of many mates and the marker that was customary to receive each time when they play in Europe.
He had the hope that with Xavi in command they could achieve it or at least put up a fight; Nothing could be further from the truth. It was another humiliating defeat like months ago; like two years ago and thus officially Bayern de Munchen became the nemesis of the blaugranas.
The result was short for the game offered. A 3-0 that should have been 5-0 and only because Muller and Lewandowski showed pity by slowing down, missing several chances.
And the worst thing is that he couldn't hide his pain. He broke down in tears when the final whistle was blown in front of everyone's picture.
It hurt...
It hurts that the club of his life made a fool of himself again in Europe already from Rome. There were no good days, only gloomy days in the decline of what was once the greatest club in Europe.
The first team to get the sextet. Cradle of great players like Messi, Cruiff, Rivaldo, Ronaldinho, Stoickov, Puyol, Iniesta, Xavi... the entire generation of champion Spain.
And now who did the club have, Gavi wondered...
Pablo Páez Gavira, a stupid boy of just 17 years old without self-control and already with an expulsion to his early record.
Being in Barcelona was not a happy dream that he had thought only a few months ago. What only made him smile at least in the day, no longer existed or at least no longer came.
He couldn't complain, he had good classmates his age that he got along with but they didn't compare to the goofy smile and the "you're so silly, kid" that he often said to him.
Nico was just as depressed as him, Balde returned to "Barca B" with Elías. And the other one was still recovering from an injury and a day ago in Paris, even further away from him.
Not even his congratulatory message was answered.
_______
It was just him on this shitty day of training, even Xavi already had dark circles under his eyes and an emaciated look as if 10 years of losing had gone by in the blink of an eye.
Being in the Barca was exhausting...
And Gavi just wanted to go home.
"Gavi !!" his friend Nico caught up with him after the last race of training, Gavi dedicated his time and attention but not words.
Even talking exhausted him nowdays.
"I won't be able to take you"
Gavi frowned expecting more than just a loose sentence.
"Gery and Riqui invited me to hang out" "the invitation also goes to you"
Gavi knew what it meant to hang out with the veteran and the other down-and-out youth player, vastly outclassed by Pedri and even himself.
Once Pedri warned him not to go out with them and he understood the reasons. The duo was the talk of Barcelona's nightclubs.
... But Pedri wasn't here and he really needed a distraction, just one day of breaking the rules wouldn't change anything, Gavi reasoned and gave the -okay- to Nico.
....But it will change something and Gavi would never be aware of it.
_________________
Gavi ignored his instinct of responsibility and accompanied; the trio that was now a foursome. All homegrown players looking for a discreet place just to hang out without hurting anyone.
It was no surprise that the older one had contacts in one of them, allowing him to pass without problems.
He had already visited clubs with the friends of the Masia, it was nothing new for him although he did not remember the last time he did it.
But no place like this, with an open bar and scantily clad women leaving nothing to the imagination dancing or personally attending to each of the VIP rooms.
Pique's influence was so great even here in these kinds of places.
The older one already had two of them in both arms; Riqui with one on his lap. He and Nico were shy, denying the company offered, earning a mocking laugh from the Pique.
What had he gotten himself into, he thought
....
He did not deny that Pique was fun and Riqui had a candid and jovial personality that was even greater with the influence of alcohol. It's a pity that even in him the alcohol did not have an effect, running through his veins and arteries.
Nico was already very excited with a woman in his arms, they even snogged for a few minutes. Pique called one for Gavi, he did not refuse and accepted the company not so animated or strong enough to refuse. But if Nico enjoyed it why not him. He came for entertainment after all and that could include candy girls.
Only that inside of him he wanted a specific person close to him and not this blonde who was already touching his penis.
It didn't take many minutes...
"what a shit Xavi must have now, happily we didn't play Ricard" Pique said freely, high-fiving hands with the other homegrown player.
"Damn dude, how I miss days off" "only that gardener knows how to give a pain in the ass" even somewhat drunk Gavi notice the disgust in his words against Xavi and later the full approval of the older man who was once his mate.
There was no pity, no remorse for a miserable performance and this sickened Gavi and filled him with anger.
He didn't want to be like Riqui and even less like Gerard.
He withdrew the trusting hand from the woman immediately.
"I'm leaving" the surprise on Riqui's face was worthy of a photograph. But the older's..
Gavi got up sick with anger to try to pull Nico but he only earned a push and some annoying words that he let him enjoy at least for a day.
He surrendered to the seconds for not bearing that look. He walked away, heading to the open bar furthest away from that cocky character who had Shakira as a partner.
He continued to drink hoping the alcohol would cloud his disappointment and anger, but the grief didn't go away and now he had only gotten more frustrated and clumsy in his movements.
-----------------------
He continued to drink, he doesn't know how long until he was barely holding on with a guy hovering around him.
Kind words accompanied by hidden intentions were directed towards his person. He did not distinguish the look of lust or the friction that the subject made against his body.
Gavi felt that he was between light and darkness, consciousness and oblivion, disgust and pleasure until night turned into day and the consciousness and disgust dominated when he felt a handshake on his butt and some lips suck his neck.
"what are you doing?" he tried to push it off but he couldn't.
The guy was almost to kiss him when his fighting instincts kicked in.
They didn't make fun of him on the pitch, let alone a pathetic taker.
Gavi kneed in the groin, a firm push, and then a blow that broke the bones of his left hand.
"Don't touch me, yuck!! he yelled at the guy already on the ground crying in pain. He wanted to finish him off but he was taken seconds from the place between struggles and curses and then he was thrown to his fate in the street.
The day faded and the night returned...
He walked unsteadily for a few minutes, feeling miserable and desecrated; he only wanted sincere comfort and kind words from the person he trusted the most now ahead of Nico.
He was sick again to remember. He tore intensely at the skin on his neck where those dirty lips had been. Pedri shouldn't have known was the immediate thought that came to his mind as he dialed the number from his memory while he was already half asleep or dazed.
"It's 3 in the morning, Gav... are you dumb or what?" just hearing him woke him up feeling a liter of ethanol being expelled through his pores.
"Pe... Pedri" he barely managed to spun.
"Where are you? Pablo" the desperation in his friend's voice only made him feel worse. He was always like that, putting out the fires he started.
"I don't know" the tears could no longer be contained.
"Come with me, I need you"
"Don't hang up" even in his deplorable state he heard the rubbing of clothes, the pronounced curses from the canarian's mouth and the subsequent ignition of an engine in just a minute.
"Send me your location" demanded Pedri and Gavi remembered the existence of that wonderful application that he clumsily manipulated with failure.
"Pablo?" Gavi heard again...
He was not useless, he would not allow Pedri to look for him throughout Barcelona. At least he owed him this effort. After many tries and curses he managed to send the location successfully.
"Stay still" and he did it, he stopped supporting the weight of his body to fall on ass against the floor and listening a desperate breathing through the cell phone that he didn't dare hang up.
He wanted to be heard, he wanted to vent.
"Pique fucking pissed me off"
"He took me to that place with Nico and Riqui"
"It was a bad idea, you was right... they are a bad influence.
"I feel dir/"
Gavi told Pedri the first thing that came to mind but not the last thing. He could not allow Pedri to know that information.
It took seconds and hearing his name from the sweet voice of Pedri and continued his tirade.
"Your fucking injury has me up to my balls"
"damn Koeman for forcing you"
"I know I owe him the debut, but damn..."
"Aren't you in Paris?" Gavi miraculously remembered the context as he stammered.
A tired sigh."I arrived a few hours ago"
He arrived a few hours ago and was coming for him.
"damn, how I've missed you"
"me too" Finally a genuine smile was drawn on his lips.
"I want to see your face, Pedri"
...-silence -
Again the desperation that had abandoned Gavi returned.
"Pedri?" he beg.
...
" I am here"
...
Gavi heard the sound of screeching tires and blinding light blur his vision.
And the night became day accompanied by the incandescent sun that came out of the car and walked to meet him.
Nothing that he achieved with alcohol could equal the happiness that flooded him at this precise moment having Pedri in front of him offering him a saving hand.
He was picked up and carried like a sack to the front seat. He felt how his heart consumed by a black hole escape the overwhelming gravity of the void.
Just by having him by your side...
While Pedri drove in silence, always dedicating his kind eyes to him.
"damn... how I love you" thread after several minutes.
Pedri stopped the car in its tracks.
"what?"
"I love you" the Andalusian instinctively repeated.
"you do?" said Pedri's blurry but still distinctive face.
"I do, I'm not lying"
"I love you too" Gavi smiled when he saw that Pedri dedicated those words to him despite being a constant nuisance.
And now Pedri brought his face closer, closed his eyelids, his lips centimeters from contact. Gavi tilted his own in welcoming pleasure.
Pedri's hand rested on his neck. Neck where he was desecrated.
And the pleasure turned into disgust and oblivion into a cruel memory.
"what are you doing?" whisper barely audible for a dog when his lips were brushed by Pedri's.
...and the past became present.
"don't touch me, yuck!" He pushed Pedri hard against the car door. The sound of metal, of a breaking bone; accompanied by a cry of pain that only plunged Gavi further into that memory.
He huddled in on himself, hiding the marks on his neck, ignoring Pedri's existence so that he wouldn't discover his dirt.
"I just want to forget this day" Gavi begged to nothing, closing his eyes and being embraced again by the void and exhaustion.
________
Pedri left a sleeping Gavi at home, returned to his apartment in tears at the rejection and the thought that he had tried to take advantage of his drunk friend.
He asked whoever was above that Gavi's wish be fulfilled and if possible for both of them.
...
And so it happened...
The chestnut with blurred and indecipherable fragments by themselves were disappearing, at least the last ones since Gavi fought with his mates.
And Gavi completely forgot everything within weeks. Perhaps as a defense mechanism. But the Canarian did not forget, he would never.
What Gavi unconsciously did not know is that a couple of things were determined by a simple action that day.
Nico's frequent night outings and his ostracism; and the total silence of Pedri's contained love that was fading over time in exchange for a sincere disinterested friendship.
...
And they were just friends.
Pedri managed to lose interest after a year and Pablo could not put a name to the feelings he had for his friend.