Chapter Text
once upon a time there was this cool chick named feferi peixes. you are not feferi peixes. only she is feferi peixes and she is a beautiufl princess. anyhow she was like,, sitting there in the stupid palace not able to doanything.
so shes sitting in her FUCKING tower bc shes a “non-racist menace to society” bc she once hugged karkat and also bc she doenst like the hemospectrum all that much but shes 4000% positive its bc she hugged karkat that one time. adn shes like “whale shit i sure am glubbing hungry” bc she replaces fuck with glub like a pretentous piece of fish garbage im kidding feferi ilu. suddenly! a boy brursts into the room!! “hi welcome to chilis” he says. it is sollux. he is in boxers. he gently gives feferi the middle finger bc they dated once. what a romantic gesture. feferi is touched. sollux is touching her with his outstretched middle finger. his boxers have a stain on them. its is the epitome of romance.
“how did you get here?” she asks as there is no door. there is no window. she has been trapped in the darkness for 50 years now and its getting kind of old, mom.
“i am a sentient cloud of electrons,” sollux responds. he is correct. he then proceeds to cease to exist. There He Goes
“oh,” feferi sayss and then touches her face emtotionally. she is hungry. she haasntr eaten in 50 years. she coudl go for a bag of potato chips or somethign.
so she stands up from her bed which is actually just a mildly moist bale of hay and gently caresses one of the walls. it breaks, she is free. she looks down. its like a 50 story drop. easy.
(i didnt wAnt to write the scen e where she climbs down hte tower but trust me it was epic and inspiring) so hses in the castle now and her mom wants her dead or something bc she “has to kill her before she (feferi) kills her (mompeixes) in order to take the throne” even though feferi just wants some fuckign potato chips adn maybe also everyone hugging each other?? that would be nice she thinks. anyway she has to sneak around like a ninja or a 3 year old that just broke a lamp.
the Lays Potato Chip Factory is in the oter part of the castle adn she has to walk past some guards to get there adn she just wants to get a bag of potato chips just a fucking bag of potato chips for the love of god (not gog bc feferi isnt in the bucket phase) so in order for her to not die she needs to recruit, a Team.