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Maddie had been nervous several times in her life before. When she had thought that Will would tell Gilan of her nightly adventure. When she hadn’t known if Will’s plan on the beach would work. When she had been about to receive her bronze oakleaf. When she had asked her mom not to reinstate her as Princess of Araluen yet. But none of those times amounted up to how nervous she was now. Every fibre of her being wanted to turn around and run away, and every muscle in her body ached as Maddie restrained herself from doing so. She had, after all, promised Ingrid, and Maddie was not planning on starting their relationship with a lie.
Deeply, Maddie breathed in, and out, opened her eyes, and knocked on the heavy wooden door in front of her.
‘Come in!’
Pushing the handle down, Maddie did as her mother told her.
Her parents usually worked in their separate offices, but every now and then sought each other out when decisions needed a second opinion. Apparently, they had been discussing such a decision when Maddie had knocked, because both Horace and Cassandra looked at her as Maddie entered her mom’s office. Good. Maddie had barely built enough courage to have this conversation once - she wasn’t sure she could do it twice.
‘Hi honey,’ Cassandra greeted her. ‘Is everything alright?’
It didn’t happen often that Maddie sought her out in her office. In fact, it had never happened before, not since Cassandra herself had stopped bringing her to her office to keep an eye on her when she was younger.
‘Yeah, no, everything is fine,’ her daughter reassured her. ‘I just… Can we talk?’
Horace put down the quill he had been holding and looked back and forth between Cassandra and Maddie.
‘Do you want me to go?’ he asked. There were little secrets between the three of them, but Horace was well aware that some conversations needed to happen between a daughter and her mother only. But much to his pleasure - and, honestly, a little bit of worry too - Maddie shook her head.
‘Actually, no, it concerns you both, I think.’
Now, Cassandra put down her quill as well. She eyed Horace from the corner of her eye and knew that the look on her husband’s face was mirrored on her own. This didn’t seem like the types of conversations that they usually had, where Maddie would excitedly ramble on about her adventures, or ask about their day. It didn’t even match the discussions that they’d had before she had started her apprenticeship with Will, the ones put forth by disobedience, boredom, and stubbornness. And intuitively, Cassandra knew that this was also not about Maddie’s future, as a Ranger, Princess, or otherwise.
So she pushed the documents in front of her to the side, to indicate to Maddie that she had her full attention, and gestured to the chair on the other side of the desk.
‘Fire away,’ Cassandra said.
Maddie sat down on the chair, albeit a little hesitant. There was no way out now, she knew. But she could prolong the inevitable a little longer. Digging her fingernails deeper into the palm of her hand, she finally said: ‘I guess I just wanted to know… what would be the protocol, in case I… in case I took an interest in someone?’
If she hadn’t had her parents’ attention already, that question might have done the trick. Her father’s eyebrows shot up and her mother leaned back into her chair. They looked at each other, as if to silently decide who would answer their daughter’s question, before looking back at Maddie.
‘Well, officially, you should be accompanied by a chaperone at all times,’ Horace began.
Cassandra rolled her eyes at that and Maddie guessed that there had been some words over that rule some years ago already.
‘But we can be lenient on that,’ her mother jumped in. ‘As long as it’s in the early stages, no one needs to know if you don’t want them to. And since you’re in Redmont most of the year-’ There was a slightly bitter undertone to that statement, but Cassandra hid it well. She had accepted Maddie’s wish to continue training as a Ranger and did not want her to feel any more guilt over that than she already did.
‘-I’m sure Will won’t care. As long as it doesn’t distract you from your lessons, he won’t play the chaperone card.’
Maddie bit her lip and nodded slowly. She’d expected as much.
Cassandra continued.
‘When it gets serious, however, it gets trickier. Whoever marries the future Queen of the Kingdom is expected to win a tournament in order to be named her Champion - I was lucky with your dad, in that regard.’
Horace scoffed.
‘Winning the tournament was the easy part,’he said. ‘But then came the balls, the dances, the picnics, and the hunts. There were courtiers shooting their last shot, other knights who believed I had stolen something from them. We had to be accompanied by at least one, preferably two chaperones at all times - even when we weren’t yet engaged. People trying to win my favour, or worse, orchestrate matters so that I would owe them. Your mother was lucky that I stuck around.’
Her mother now shot him a look, but her lips were clearly fighting the urge to smile.
Maddie didn’t interrupt the moment that her parents were clearly having. If anything, she was thankful to delay the inevitable a little longer. But then the moment had passed and the silence was filled with the question she had dreaded the most.
‘Why this sudden interest in court etiquette?’ Horace asked.
Cassandra eyed her daughter curiously. Maddie was fidgeting with one of the laces on her dress and seemed awfully intent not to meet either of their eyes.
‘You have met someone, haven’t you?’ she asked.
When Maddie’s eyes shot up, Cassandra knew that she was right.
The reaction didn’t go past Horace either. He smiled softly.
‘I’m happy for you, Maddie. When can we meet him?’
Maddie allowed the silence to fall over them as she hesitated to answer the question. Somehow, she felt as though her father wasn’t surprised at the news that she might’ve found a partner. He was practical, and calm, and not at all startled. Clearly, he’d known, or at least, suspected something. And yet-
When can we meet him. Him. This was it.
Once again, Maddie breathed in and out, deeply and consciously. Not for the first time, she found herself forever thankful for the breathing exercises Will had taught her to keep her anxiety under control, as she opened her mouth and said: ‘Actually, you have already met… her.’
There was a second silence, this time as she waited for either of her parents to say something. They didn’t and Maddie could feel her heart sinking. Why didn’t they say something? They had to say something.
‘... Dad?’ Maddie asked weakly. He hadn’t been surprised when she had practically announced that she took an interest in someone, so maybe, maybe, he hadn’t been surprised when she had said that the someone was a her. Maybe.
Whether her father was surprised or not Maddie could not tell, but she could feel her heart skip a beat when his smile grew bigger and he said, his voice free of judgement or disapproval: ‘Oh, okay. Well, I’m still happy for you.’
Maddie smiled back at him, albeit a little hesitant. There had been, after all, no reaction from her mother yet.
Cassandra was aware that she still hadn’t said anything. Not because she was surprised - she wasn’t surprised - not entirely, anyhow. Like Horace, she had suspected that Maddie had begun taking an interest in someone here at Court. Her daughter had returned with more excitement, and eagerness, than she usually did. And when she and Ingrid had had that sleepover a few nights ago… Cassandra had had a hunch that there might be more than her daughter had led on. Like Horace, she had respected Maddie’s wish not to talk about it. But now that Maddie had said what she’d said…
Her thoughts were interrupted by her daughter, whose worry-filled voice called out to her.
‘...Mom?’
Cassandra leaned on her desk and rested her chin in her hands.
‘We just have to think about how we’re going to handle this in public. Not everyone will be as accepting.’
Her eyes met Maddie’s. Her daughter’s eyes were big and full of… confusion?
‘You’re… you’re not mad?’
‘I- what? Mad? Why would I be mad?’
‘I don’t know…’ Maddie’s voice trailed off and she looked away. Clearly, she was fighting back tears.
Horace softly nudged his wife’s shoulder.
Sometimes, Cassandra realised, not for the first time, she was so busy being the Crown-Princess-Regent, that she forgot to be a mother.
‘Oh, honey.’
She stood up and walked around the desk that stood between them, kneeling down beside where Maddie sat, still refusing to look at her.
‘Of course I’m not mad! Granted, it’s not ideal, but very few things are. We’ll figure it out. We always do.’
‘We found a way for you to train as a Ranger, we’ll find a way for this,’ Horace added, taking his place on Maddie’s other side.
Maddie could hold the tears back no longer and let them fall.
‘You’re not disappointed?’
Cassandra took her hand and squeezed it softly, silently asking her daughter to look at her. When she did, she said: ‘Listen to me. Listen. You’re my daughter - I love you. I love you whether you take an interest in boys or girls or both or neither. Okay?’
‘But-’
‘If anything, I’m glad there’s something keeping you in your room, instead of me having to worry you’ll sneak out again at night.’
Unfortunately, the attempt at humour went straight past Maddie. She’d let her walls down, had exposed her carefully hidden secret, and now had to ask all the other questions that had been weighing her down ever since she realised that she would never marry and have kids.
‘But what about the Royal lineage? What about the Crown? There’s never going to be another heir after me!’
Maddie had lost count of how many times her parents had made eye contact since she’d come into the office, but they did it again. This time, however, she could feel that it was different. This time, the roles were reversed: her parents knew something she did not.
‘What?’ she blurted out.
One of Horace’s hands had been rubbing Maddie’s arm. The other now found Cassandra’s free hand and squeezed it.
‘Tell her, Cassie.’
Maddie’s gaze shot towards her mother. For a moment, she forgot about her own worries and let the tears dry on her cheeks.
‘Tell me what? Grandpa said you haven’t been feeling well these past weeks. Is that it? Are you sick?’
Cassandra smiled reassuringly.
‘I’m not sick.’
‘Then what is it?’
This time, it was Cassandra who was avoiding eye contact. In fact, she was looking everywhere but Maddie. Unfortunately for her, that meant that it was inevitable that her eyes met Horace’s. The knight caught her gaze and squeezed her hand once more.
Tell her.
Finally, Cassandra looked at her daughter.
‘I’m pregnant.’
‘You’re- what?’
Was this payback? Was this the universe playing some sick joke on her? Shocking her when she had just shocked her parents?
Maddie was lost for words. Honestly, she didn’t know how to feel about this.
Apparently, her mother took her silence as a sign of disapproval or disappointment or disagreement.
‘Madelyn, I- we want you to know that we didn’t plan this. We didn’t think it was possible. They told us that it wasn’t possible.’
‘We are not replacing you,’ Horace added, ‘and we have no idea if this will even go well. In the past, your mother’s pregnancies… they haven’t been easy.’
‘Plus, I’m older now,’ Cassandra continued. ‘There’s a never ending list of risks and possibilities - and that’s just before the baby is born.’
It suddenly became very clear to Maddie from which parent she had inhabited the spiralling and overthinking. Her assumption solidified when her mother kept talking.
‘If everything goes well, if they’re healthy, if they like life at Court-’
At last, Maddie spoke, if only to put a stop to the ceaseless ifs.
‘They will.’
Horace looked at her.
‘What do you mean?’
‘They will be healthy,’ Maddie explained. ‘And they will like life at Court.’
‘How do you know?’ Cassandra asked.
Maddie smiled at her parents.
‘It might not be my dream life, but there’s a lot to like at Court. Just because the throne isn’t it for me, doesn’t mean it also won’t be it for my sibling.’
‘You’re not mad?’
‘Mad? Why would I be mad?’
Realising that her daughter had answered her just like she herself had answered her daughter a few minutes ago, Cassandra smiled. Then, she leaned forward and hugged Maddie. When she pulled back, her eyes were wet.
‘Stupid hormones,’ Cassandra remarked, wiping away the tears. ‘I always hated this part.’
‘But it was worth it once,’ Horace reminded her, as he handed his wife a handkerchief. ‘Maybe it will be again.’
He offered Maddie another handkerchief and watched as his wife and his daughter, both with tear-stained cheeks but with their lips drawn into big smiles, wiped their faces. He coughed. Immediately, Maddie looked up to him.
‘Dad? Are you also crying?’
‘No.’
But the audible lump in his throat told another story.
Cassandra laughed and gestured at him.
‘Come here, you big black bear.’
They hugged, still uncomfortably kneeling on the ground next to Maddie - who was refusing to let them have a moment again.
‘Hey! This whole talk started with me. Don’t exclude me.’
Her parents laughed and both threw an arm around Maddie, pulling her into the hug. They kneeled there, for a few minutes, in complete peace. After a while, all three of them pulled back simultaneously. Horace stretched his legs, Cassandra wiped some dust off of her skirt, and Maddie dug her fingers in her hip in an attempt to massage the pain away before it could spread.
‘There’ll be a lot of changes in the next few months,’ Horace concluded, looking down at the two women. His girls.
‘Let’s tackle them one at a time, please,’ his wife pleaded. ‘The Iberion ambassador’s office has changed representatives again and I’ll need all the strength I can muster.’
Horace shrugged.
‘Whatever you want,’ he said. As long as you two are happy, it meant.
Cassandra looked back at her daughter.
‘Why don’t you invite Ingrid over for dinner soon?’ she suggested. ‘It is Ingrid, isn’t it?’
Maddie nodded and Horace sighed in relief.
‘At least we don’t have to worry she’ll turn out to be the leader of a misogynistic clan intent on removing women from the line of heritage.’
Maddie snorted.
‘I can’t believe both of you suggested something could happen between me and Dimon,’ she said. ‘Don’t you think I’m letting that one go.’
Cassandra smiled.
‘I think it’s safe to say there’ll be little work happening during the rest of today,’ she said. ‘Why don’t we have a family day? What do you want to do first?’
Maddie and Horace didn’t even have to look at each other to answer Cassandra’s question simultaneously.
‘Lunch.’