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Each step he made was on the beat of the music, his movement was deviously quick yet elegant and his hold on your waist was making you feel - in some sort of twisted way - safe, at least safer than usually. The same hand seemed to be sliding up and down, not enough to catch the unwelcoming gaze of the other dancing couples, but enough for you to somehow, even in the crazy spirally pattern you two were creating with your steps, which were getting increasingly faster, and in the haze filled moments of his warm breath on your temple as he attempted to keep you close, it was enough for you to notice it, the way his head moved to the side, the way his breathing got faster every time you placed your hand at his chest, even the movement of his hand, as his gloved fingers trailed over your waist, not wanting to let go of you so soon, as soon as the last note hit your ears.
Yet when it did eventually come to an end, he didn't let go of you like the rest of the people enjoying their night, some of them were already on their way home, as the clock hit midnight not long ago, but his hands, his grabby hands haven't left your body yet, as if he was desperately begging for another song to start playing. But it seems like his wish was denied by the Archons, or whatever godlike higher form was watching over all the foolish people of Teyvat.
Once his hands let go of yours and you were finally able to wipe off the beads of sweat that formed on your forehead, you really realized how you miss his touch, how you desire him to hold you once again, to spin you around the room and keep you close to his chest, where even through the noises of the room and the music, you could hear his heart beating.
Well, it's not like you can do anything now, since the night has ended and the early morning hours were coming rapidly, and with it this months ball has ended.
The only hope left was seeing him again next time you got the invitation, next time you walked in, looking as stunning as ever, with a mask, the color matching your outfit and further more hiding your identity.
The only thing all the people meeting up in this room every month had in common was the infamous fatui symbol on their chest.
"Will we see each other next time?" You asked.
His hand once again met your waist, this time sliding on your back to keep you steady, as his head cocked to the side, a strand of his blue hair falling from behind his ear, as he leaned in close to your ear to whisper.
"If there is a next time."
Sarcastic tone with a bit of seriousnes mixed in was recognizable in his way of speech, but still, you don't know him enough to know if what he said was meant to scare you,excite you or warn you, it was hard to get to know someone better if the only interaction you two have is dancing together once a month.
There was still no name to put to his face, which was also still unknown to you, since the masks kept your identities unknown; what fun would it be to know who you are dancing with, right? It is much more thrilling this way.
Before you finally got to your senses again, he was long gone, leaving you with a pitiful empty feeling in the deep of your stomach, as if his sudden exit without a proper goodbye ripped something away from you, as if there was no other way to feel complete other than in his arms, dancing together to the slow notes of the orchestra.
But you have gotten used to this feeling since it was quite the time you two first met. About a year, year and a half maybe even two years? If you are honest, which is a rare thing, since you work in the Fatui, it is really cruel of him to leave you here with nothing left but a trembling self, devastated that this evening ended so soon, just like all the others.
On the other side, at least you have more time to prepare for your next meeting, plan everything you two can talk about, customize your outfit to look even better than last time, learn new dances, there is enough time for it all. Although, it may seem kind of obsessive of you, this feeling, plus he may not even feel the same way you do, but you push this thought aside, not wanting it to get to you, surely he loves dancing with you just as much as you do, why else would he invite you again and again.
But once it was time for the next ball to start, you began to feel unsure. Because of your overthinking, you thought your outfit looked strange, like there was something missing, but there is not enough time to fix it, you just need to suck it up, tonight's is gonna be great, you two will have a good time, you'll laugh together and there will be absolutely nothing that can ruin this day!
You arrived already, standing on the balcony, enjoying the view of the Hydro Nation, the stars looked more gloomy today, almost sorry for what future had prepared for you, sorry for what is about to happen to you soon, the sad reality that you are truly alone in this world, that all of it is fake, the fate that was about to meet you.
After an hour of waiting, you realized it, why it all felt off, because his feeling were fake, he didn't love you, no, he doesn't even know you, and that's the cruel realization, that this is the reason he didn't show up, at least that's what you think.
Maybe he had something important going on, people have lives too, even Fatui... What even is his role in the Fatui? He doesn't wear his delusion or insignia, is he your higher up? Maybe he has been in the Fatui for a long time, he is really strong, you can tell that by the way he holds you in his arms, pressing you up against his chest, keeping you close.
Once again, the reality hit you like a train, the sharp pain in your chest becoming stronger, because he doesn't care about you, the way he held you was a lie, it was all fake.
A feeling mixed of rage and helplessness filled you, like you were some sort of a volcano, waiting for the inevitable ending, the explosion, waiting to let all of your emotions out at once, but not now, not today, just wait for him, hopefully you'll see him again one day.
That's it, just wait for him to show up next time, then you can give him a piece of your mind!
The next months ball rolls around, no sign of him anywhere - another reason to be mad at him.
Third ball since you last saw him, one fourth of a year without him.
It's been four months now, you start thinking that maybe something has really happened to him.
By the time the fifth ball since his mysterious dissapearance rolled around, the rage boiling inside of your blood has cooled down entirely. There was no more reason to be angry, because if anyone is missing for that long in the Fatui, it's never a pleasent thing.
And finally, the last ball of this year comes around, marking the sixth ball without him showing up. Half of a year, 182 days, soon 4383 hours, that's a long time. How many breaths did you take while waiting for a miracle, how many tears you shed while leaving with no answers.
That's why this is the last time you show up, you can't stand anymore of this emptiness, anymore of this hopeless waiting, waiting for nothing.
You weren't exactly expecting him to show up after so long, so this is just a formal goodbye to the monthly dancing, to the hopes and dreams and unsucesfull wishes, goodbye to him and the feelings that grew together with you two dancing, with every note and every move, and together with every light press on your back and little whisper into your ear as he complimented you and your dancing.
A tear rolled down your cheek, quietly and glissfully, before falling down to the cold floor with a little splashing sound. At that moment, all you wanted was to go home and cry, let your heart out and feel that blissful happiness again. Turning around quickly and stomping to the door sertainly caught the attention of all the people there, as now there were hundreds of eyes on you, watching you trying to run away and ruin all the joy this cold month brought. Since it was the last month of this year and one of the coldest, it was dedicated to Shneznaya, so it wouldn't be really polite to run away.
Slowly, you made your way back to the balcony, once again hiding yourself away from the eyes of the onlookers. Remembering the way he held you, you stared at the water below, thinking about how nobody was around you, or waiting for you, getting reminded of how truly alone you are. Letting a few tears slip down your cheeks and fall to the ground, some even into the deep waters bellow, you stared down at the beautiful shimmering water, starting to notice how beautiful everything around you looked, so calming and relaxing, the gentle breeze bringing a cold air with it, reminding you of your homeland.
Suddenly, in the reflection of the water, you saw something, or more acurately, someone, looking at you from behind. In a heartbeat you turned around, only to be met with an empty ballroom.
Wait, what? Weren't people dancing here just a second ago? The music was getting quieter and quieter every second, untill all you could hear were the faint notes of the finest Shneznayan opera and the sounds of water.
Where did everyone go?
As you vere frantically trying to search for any clues to the mysterious dissapearence of hundreds of people, you glanced at the water, feeling drawn to it, like some kind of magic or spell was hiding in there, like the answer to all your problems was hidden just beneath the surface, in the cold, deep ocean.
And as you were staring at the water, something did indeed happen, something really unexpected, and it was a surprise to you because your hopes already left you, as your wishes weren't heard untill this day.
A bright light shone through the dark and deep layers of the water as small bubbles floated up to the surface and high into the level of your eyes, and more and more started appearing and colliding and forming together, growing bigger and bigger untill there was only one big bubble of the size of your head right in front of your eyes.
The bright blue light appeared once again, this time at the centre of this strange bubble as it started to transform. At first you thought, is this it? Is this how i get my vision? To haunt me forever? To be an awful reminder of this day? A taunting memory of being alone, forgotten, discarded.
But what folowed next was not the powerful feeling of water surging through your veins, it wasn't the feeling of reassurance as now you would have a powerful element by your side, no. Because in truth, you really didn't get a vision, it was just another one of your delusional attempts at trying to convince yourself that you were worth something, that you really weren't that useless, that you had the potencional to become a vision holder.
But whatever it was, this strange bubble, it didn't disappear together with your hopes, no, it remained.
As the water has finaly stoped moving, it took a different form, a small animal-like creature, also known in the world of Teyvat as a Seelie, a guide helping the lost ones find their way back on the path. Maybe this was a sign, that it was your time to get back on the right path and follow your fate, accept all the goods and bads your life brought you so far and just forget about him, forget about the interactions you two had through the past two years. But still, thinking about him made you sadder, it made you wish you could go back to him, swing in his arms and dance to every song he wishes, you wished he would return safely and tell you how much he missed you, you wished you could see him again, hear his voice, take his hand and have him in the lead, not caring about any of the people there because there was nothing that could stop you two from being happy together, nothing...
Swinging and dancing, wobbling in the air, the Seelie was making watery noises, splashing around, making water droplets fall everywhere.
"Hello, little guy."
You whispered, quietly, not wishing to disturb the nights peace.
"Hello Y/N"
A girls voice spoke softly, tone gentle and warm like the sea foam.
Her voice was like nothing you ever heard before, it was so calming, and it sounded so ageless, not like a little child, not like an elderly woman, not like a grown woman, but like the everlasting oceans, like the waves crashing to the cliffs and the shores washing up seashells.
Shocked, you looked up at this flying little water creature, rubbing your eyes to make sure you were not dreaming, that you didn't go crazy due to the lack of people, who's mysterious disappearence you still couldn't understand.
"You can talk?"
Still in disbelief, you muttered out, looking around to see if somebody was just playing a stupid prank on you, because this was starting to get weirder more and more every second.
But before you could react any more, the seelie started speaking again.
"I am grateful for your offering, that's why I'm going to try make your wish come true."
Her tone was so sweet but also so energetic yet simple and serious, you could not figure out if she was telling the truth or not, but her voice, it was so charming, it just made you trust her. But in the back of your mind, there was still so many questions, so many doubts.
"What offering?"
"In the land of hydro, you can always find water no matter where you go. Of course that's the case, right? I mean, you are in the land of water, so it's understandable it will be here."
Nodding, you showed the creature you understood what she meant, before she continued speaking.
"But there is one thing that is rare in these lands, and that is a tear. And before you say anything, i don't mean any normal tears, or those shed my babies, i mean genuine ones, tears from people who feel very troubled at the moment, those shed by scared people, those from the sad people and from heartbroken ones, like you. i love all the people and i wish not for them to feel unhappy, so smile my sweet child.
Her explanation was so strange, it didn't make sence at all. What even is she, how does she know so much?
"Oh Y/N, dear, haven't you figured it out yet?"
Of course, the thought of this grazed your mind, it lingered in the shadows, not wanting to be revealed in case you were absolutely wrong. But now you are sure that it's the truth, so this seelie right before you must be.. The hydro archon.
With your head feeling light and spinny, and many great questions still in mind, you can't help but ask.
"I still don't understand any of this.. why?"
You mean it, truly not understanding 'why? Why is she here? What does she want with you?'
She said something about 'granting you your wish' but what does it really mean? What do you truly wish for? For happines? For love?
Closure?
...
That's right, you want to know what happened to 'Him'. You need to know, he is still the only one on your mind, even when all the happy and dancing people mysteriouslly dissapeard , you think about him, even when you have a god right in front of your face, telling you that they want to help you, you still think about him, even after he unknowingly hurt you, you still think about him, he is the only one on your mind, his grabby hands, his sly smirk, his messy blue hair, even the evenings that you lay in bed all alone, cold and tired, thinking about him, thinking about how much you miss him, he is the only one you think about, he hasn't left your mind for even a second ever since you had last seen him, like a curse, lingering around waiting for it's pray to be voulnerable and weak, untill it strikes, spreading madness all around your mind, not letting you sleep, not letting you eat, not letting you breathe.
Looking up at the seelie again, with slight tears in your eyes, you finally knew what she meant when she said she was going to make your wish come true. She was going to save you, from this madness, from this obsession that you grew, from this unbearable sorrow, because you already hit the bottom, not realizing how far gone you really were, without him, you just want him, only him...
"I really want to see Him again..."
You finally realized what you were missing, what made you feel so lonely all the time.
"I need to see him, i need him."
Though slightly disturbed, the seelie flew up and down, almost as if trying to nod, as a light splashing sound filled the air around you, letting your mind go free, everything started to seem so calm and peaceful, so light you could swear you started floating.
"You will meet the one you desire soon my dear, do not worry, but still, i am greatly concerned for your well being."
The familiar bright light could be seen again, shining from the water creature as she grew smaller and smaller, forming into a small white cloud, floating effortlessly around your head and caressing your cheek lightly before ultimately dissapearing into the deep waters below.
But before she left, you could swear you heard her voice once again, no, heard is not the right word, it's like the words were projected right into your brain, and her tone, her tone was so strict and so majestic as she said
"Be careful."
Shaking suddenly, you opened your eyes lazily, as if you were just awoken from a trans, realizing that the people who seemingly went missing only a few minutes ago were just finishing their last dance, as the faint sound of bells could be heard ringing through out the city.
Sighing and turning around you thought about the seelie, it must have been a dream, you just zoned out and imagined all of that to calm yourself down, of course the hydro archon never appeared before you, surely she has much grater work then to 'fulfill the wishes' of random crying people. Huh, what a joke, you really thought you were special, you really thought there could be a cure for your loneliness.
Turning your head around to look at the splashing water behind the railing of the balcony, to finally say goodbye to this damned dancing, a familiar voice could be heard. You couldn't exactly hear what it said, because it hasn't spoken in words but rather emotions, a light humming which sent chills down your spine, a sorrowful song as a warning, warning for you to be careful what you wish for.
"Excuse me? Am I mistaken or could your name perhaps be Y/N?"
Yet another voice surprised you this evening, this time much more familiar. Your vision got blurry and your body fully turned around to face the person speaking to you from behind, breathless and excited, your heart going crazy as all the thoughts suddenly left you to be completely alone with 'Him'.
But as your vision slowly got back, you noticed something, your excitement dissapearing quickly, as this person before you was completely changed, almost as if it was not actually 'Him', or was it? There were slight differences, for instance this man's behavior seemed more calm and confident, almost as if he knew he was untouchable. One could also notice the drastic change in the length of his hair, sure it was six months, but can hair really grow that fast?
"Are- is it really you?"
Not believing your eyes, you rubbed them over and over untill He was forced to grab your hands to stop you from blinding yourself.
"How foolish. Of course Theta build fell in love with you, so irresponsible."
Confused, you looked at him as if he was some kind of a strange creature.
"What do you mean?"
"Truly foolish, all human beings. You see, i made a deal with a certain god, it was a simple exchange, really, a godly power in exchange for the lives of those stupid segments. The point is, Theta has been taken care of, and now it's time for every obstacle that could potentially know about him."
You head was spinning so fast and your legs started to shake, you couldn't bear to hear anything anymore, giving up, because the news of your loved one's death broke you, you could feel your heart snap in pieces, as your vision got blury from all the tears, not the first tears of tonight.
"He- Theta.. he's dead..?"
"You are not listening to me, are you?"
Sighing, the man looked dissapoined.
"I was looking forward to breaking you slowly, but whatever, i can just kill you now.
“He's dead…”
You didn't even realize it but you fell down to your knees.
“Hmm.. or i can use you as a test subject, I have been running low on those..”
“Why did he have to die..?!”
Clutching your chest, you started yelling.
“Oh silly, what do you say, hm?”
Looking up with tears in your eyes, you saw that he was smirking. Only then did you realize who this man was, who you had the opportunity to meet.
“For a fatui solider you are really weak.”
Your eyes widened so fast that you wondered how they didn't pop out of your eye sockets.
“Hah, finally realized who i am? There is nothing to do now, dear Y/N. Since you haven't answered me, i will decide your fate for you.”
You wanted to scream, but you couldn't, feeling as if you were being suffocated, one could hardly comprehend everything that was happening, as the time seemed to have stoped, the world seeming more black and white every second.
Only then did you finally understood what the seelie meant, the warning totally left your mind once you heard ‘his’- no, Harbinger Dottore’s voice.
“Oh, poor little you.. Experimentation it is. And for the future, you should be careful what you wish for .”