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He is sensible and so incredible, and all my single friends are jealous
Ajax walked Enid to her door and kissed her goodnight. He waved shyly before he turned to walk down the hall, his gangly arms swinging by his side. She watched him go before walking into her room, and breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that Wednesday wasn't in there.
She sat down on her bed and checked her messages.Yoko was asking how her date went in the *Laddiieessss* group chat. Enid didn't answer. She could do it later. Instead, she pulled her legs up and laid down, turning into a small ball.
He says everything I need to hear and it's like I couldn't ask for anything better
Enid’s phone buzzed again. The new message was from Ajax this time. ‘I had a really good time tonight, thanks for coming out with me! <3’ she liked the comment and sent back a generic happy response. Was she happy? It was hard to tell.
And I feel perfectly fine
Nothing was wrong. Not really.
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
She hoped Wednesday wouldn't be back soon. She needed some time to get herself in order. Thing wasn't in the room either, so she let herself break. She rolled over and pillowed her head on her arms. Ajax was great. But Enid wanted. She needed. She didn't know exactly what, but simply something more.
So in love that you act insane
There wasn't an excitement with Ajax. She liked him, and she had for a while. But now that they were seeing each other she just felt empty, almost like she was going through the motions.
And that's the way I loved you
Enid remembered the exact moment it started, this feeling that it wasn't quite right. She was saying goodbye to Wednesday when she was being expelled. She didn't intend to ask, but the question had just slipped out. “Will you forget about me?”
Wednesday's response had been a cold fist on her heart. “Enid, the mark you have left on me is indelible.” That had been the beginning, the first desperate gasp, the first step of her fall off a steep emotional cliff.
Breaking down and coming undone
The moment Enid knew she was in love was burned into her memories as sure as the scars on her face. After her first dramatic shift into a werewolf fighting to save her best friend's life, she had run out of the woods and demanded to know where Wednesday was. No one had answered. They all looked stunned, drained, destroyed. Her heart soared when she saw her best friend coming slowly through the gates, injured but alive. She had pulled the girl into her arms, forgetting the blood, the pain, and even Wednesday's boundaries.
And Wednesday had hugged her back.
That was it. That was the moment, like the first gasp of air after being underwater for too long. She had looked at Wednesday after that hug and simply wished. She had wanted. But she contained herself. Then Ajax had put an arm around her and Enid remembered herself. She had a boyfriend. A kind, sweet man who she had wanted forever.
It's a rollercoaster kind of rush
The door opened and Wednesday strode in with Thing riding her shoulder. “Enid, you will not believe this.” she launched into a description of something heinous Bianca had done to her today. Enid accidentally laughed. “Enid,” Wednesday leveled her with a glare, “This is serious.”
Enid stilled her smile and focused. Bianca and Wednesday had moved beyond their initial immediate rivalry, but they would likely always but heads. Wednesday paced around the room. When Enid couldn’t watch her bounce back and forth like a ping pong ball anymore she popped up from the bed and caught Wednesdays hand in her own.
Wednesday stopped, eyes on their joined hands. Enid spine quickly. “So, what are we going to do? Murder her? Acid bath?” She pretended to think. “Oh, I know! Splinters under her fingernails!”
A smirk okayed at the edge of Wednesday’s mouth. “Splinters sounds good. I will save that for a future infraction.” Wednesday glanced at their hands again. Enid smiled at the praise, then released Wednesday’s hand. She didn't want Wednesday to catch on.
And I never knew I could feel this much
Enid turned away, hoping her face didn't betray her. “Enid?” She turned back. Wednesday looked sheepish. “I'm sorry, how was your date with Ajax?”
Enid’s heart sank. She had been enjoying Wednesday’s presence, and now she was thinking about Ajax again. “It was fine. You know how he is.” She shrugged, hoping it looked casual.
“Just fine?” Wednesday looked troubled. “You used to describe your time with him in the most nauseating terms.”
“Yeah.” Enid turned away again, hoping her eyes wouldn't water. “I used to.” Even her best times with Ajax we're now flooded with thoughts of Wednesday.
And that's the way I loved you
After lights out the two of them lay silently in their beds. They hadn't said much for the last few hours. “Enid?” Wednesday questioned. Enid hummed and rolled on her side. She could see Wednesday in the night, her wolf vision lighting the room. Wednesday slipped from her bed and padded almost silently over to Enid’s. Enid's breath caught. Wednesday stood there silently for a moment before speaking again. Could Wednesday see her in the dark? Finally, she spoke again. “Are you okay?”
Enid sat up on one elbow. “Why do you ask?”
“You have always been the brightest, most radiant of personages. Lately, you seem to have a cloud attempting to dim your brightness.” Enid choked up. A half gasp betrayed her as her eyes welled up. She was going to cry.
Wednesday hesitated for a moment, then slid in between the sheets next to Enid. She pulled her in close, allowing the werewolf to cling to her. Somehow, even with tears running down her face, this felt like a gift and a curse to Enid. Every bit of physical affection from Wednesday was a gift. It was something rare, beautiful, and treasured. But now she knew what it felt like.
“You don’t have to talk about it, wolf. I am here when you're ready. If you're ready.”
He respects my space and never makes me wait
Ajax was waiting for Enid the next morning, just like every morning before. He had a breakfast sandwich for her and a plain black coffee for Wednesday.
As she looked at him and thanked him for the breakfast, she wondered if he could see it. Could he tell she had fallen asleep in Wednesday's arms? That her prickly roommate allowed physical contact, but only From Enid? Did he know Enid was in love, and not with him?
She didn't think so.
Enid had a new problem. Wednesday seemed to think that Enid’s mood shift was Ajax’s fault, not Enid’s. She kept glaring at him. Every So often she glanced at Enid. Enid wanted to grab her, pull her into an empty hall, and kiss the concern off of her serious face.
He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable
At lunch, Ajax brought both their trays to the table. She had never asked him to do this, but he was kind and thoughtful and his love language was acts of service.
Enid's love language is touch. She often wonders what Wednesday’s is. Probably murder.
He can't see the smile I'm faking, and my heart’s not breaking cause I'm not feeling anything at all
Enid smiled at Ajax. It was fake, but he didn't seem to realize it. That was fine with her. He had just come from Poe cup practice, and he was thrilled. Enid could see Wednesday in the distance. She was watching the two of them interact.
He leaned down and kissed her. She let him.
And you were wild and crazy
When Enid opened the door she was greeted by a painfully heart-warming sight: Wednesday was in their room, dancing only as she could. She was using all the space in their room, dancing around and enjoying herself. She wasn't smiling, but Enid knew she was having fun. Enid dropped her bag and joined in without hesitation. They flailed around, a danger to each other and themselves. Enid laughed until she cried after Wednesday's elbow hit her in the chin hard enough to make her see stars.
Just so frustrating
“You can't just do that!” Enid was shouting the minute the door closed behind them. “You can't just walk up and say things like that!” she was so angry her claws came out, and that made her angrier still. She accidentally shredded the sleeves of her sweatshirt. She liked this sweatshirt.
“I do not understand why you are so angry. Yoko is your best friend. You already discuss your feelings with her.”
Wednesday had appeared in the library ten minutes before, seen Yoko and Enid studying, and joined them. this wouldn't have been a problem if Wednesday hadn't then said, " Ajax no longer brings Enid joy. In fact, he seems to be causing her distress. They should break up. What do you think of this?”
Both Yoko and Enid’s jaws had dropped. Enid recovered first, dragging Wednesday from the room. Her phone was currently going off with text after text, all no doubt from Yoko.
Enis grabbed the front of Wednesday’s blazer, her claws slicing through and poking out the lapels. “Yes. Wednesday, I do. I talk to Yoko about my feelings. I decide to discuss my feelings with her or not. I decide what feelings and when. Not you.”
Enid held tight to Wednesday, waiting for a response. Five seconds passed, then ten. Enid's eyes darted down to Wednesday’s lips. Wednesday’s eyebrows scrunched together, and she tilted her head to the side. “Are you going to kiss me?”
“Argh!” Enid let go if Wednesday. She was angry at the girl. She was angry at herself. She was especially angry at being so easily read by the one person she was truly trying to hide her feelings from.
“I find your anger breathtaking.”
Intoxicating
An hour later Enid was curled up on her bed, hiding under the covers. She and Wednesday had not spoken in that time. Even Thing was quiet. Eventually, she heard Wednesday walking over. The girl halted a few feet away.
“Enid are you awake?” Enid didn't answer. “Are you asleep?”
“Yes.”
Wednesday huffed, then covered the rest of the space between her and Enid’s bed. Enid heard Wednesday sigh heavily. “I am sorry for making you angry. I respect the boundary you have set. You decide when to discuss your feelings, and who to discuss them with.”
Enid took the olive branch like a drowning man grabbing a life preserver. “Thank you.”
Wednesday remained for another moment. “Can we discuss them now?”
"No."
"Understood."
Complicated
Enid buried her face in her stuffed unicorn, this was one of her favorites. As far as unicorns went, this one didn't seem to fit. It was definitely a unicorn, there was no doubt about that, but it had been hand sewn from other hacked apart stuffed animals. The body was from a black horse. The horn crudely sewn into it's forehead was from a rhino, and it's hooves had come from a stuffed goat. This little Frankenstein was a gift from Wednesday. She had proudly presented it to Enid on her last birthday.
Got away by some mistake and now
Enid watched Xavier and Wednesday dance around each other. He followed her like a lost psychic puppy. She…tolerated him. Enid considered asking Wednesday how she felt about him every single day. But something held her back. Did she even want the answer?
When black roses showed up at their door, Wednesday stared at them for a long time. She remained there so long that Enid called her name. Wednesday snapped back to reality with a, “I don’t think it’s supposed to be like this, is it?”
“Like what?”
Rather than answer, Wednesday responded with another question. “What is dating Ajax like?”
Enid faltered. What could she say? What shout she say? She panicked. “It’s good. He’s kind. We’re comfortable. It’s good.” Enid ignored the bile rising in her throat. It wasn’t good. She wasn’t good. Wednesday picked up the roses and put them on her desk.
Xavier and Wednesday started dating.
I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain
Something was broken between them. Between her and Ajax, her and Xavier, her and Wednesday. She was sinking into the abyss and taking all her relationships with her. Enid knew that she had to break up with Ajax. If she didn’t, she would only hurt him more by continuing this charade. Enid felt like she might throw up. Usually she felt like she was a good person, but lately? Not so much.
Right now, Enid hated Xavier. She had always liked the boy before, but not now. He and Ajax were best friends. The amount of time the two couples were spending together was the bane of her existence. She snapped at him earlier that day.
Xavier kept trying to hold Wednesday’s hand as the four of them walked to Jericho for coffee. Enid, hyper aware of Wednesday’s movements (and most of her moods) watched the girl keep dodging his grasping fingers. Finally, she said to him, “Xavier, I bet if Wednesday wants to hold your hand, she’ll let you know.”
As the other three stared at Enid, she realized what she had said. Xavier looked embarrassed, Ajax angry, and Wednesday slightly confused. Enid hadn’t apologized. Instead, she just walked faster and left everyone behind.
After coffee, they hurried back to campus, hoping to beat the incoming rain storm. Enid made up an excuse to hurry back to her room. She walked quickly across it, opened the picture window, and clambered out to the balcony. She felt like she could finally breathe, all alone outside. Enid looked out over the campus and watched clouds gathering closer and closer to the school. She was only outside for about five minutes when a single raindrop landed on her hand. At the same moment, the window behind her opened again.
Wednesday joined Enid at the balcony railing. She didn’t say anything, and neither did Enid. Another rain drop landed on her, splashing off her shoulder. Eventually, Enid broke the silence.
“I’m sorry for embarrassing you. It was none of my business.”
“I wasn’t embarrassed.” A rain drop hit Enid’s cheek. “I did not want to hold his hand. He kept trying. It’s annoying to me.” Rain started to fall around them, coming down in irregular splashes. “I don’t think I like holding hands.”
Enid tried to erase the mental image she had of her and Wednesday skipping down the street holding hands. She finally looked at Wednesday as she asked, “Have you told him?”
“No. I thought it was obvious.”
“It might not be obvious to him.” She looked back over the school.
“You may be right.” Darker clouds swept in quickly. “Enid, could i-“ The sky suddenly opened up, and the pouring rain enveloped them. Even with her hearing, Enid couldn’t tell what Wednesday said over the first wave of rain hitting the surfaces around them.
Enid threw back her head, reveling in the cool rain. She held onto the railing with both hands, leaning back and feeling the wind created by the downpour. Something cold and wet covered one of Enid’s hands. She opened her eyes to see that Wednesday had covered one of her hands with her own.
Enid turned her hand over and allowed Wednesday to slot their fingers together. Enid’s heart galloped off, matching the roar of the falling rain. Lightning flashed over them, a clap of thunder crashing seconds after. Enid took her eyes off their linked hands. Wednesday was looking at her, confused. Enid tugged on their hands. Wednesday allowed herself to be pulled closer. The rain soaked them as Enid leaned in.
She felt like a woman possessed. Out there in the pouring rain, with the clouds over them and noon suddenly feeling like midnight, only one thing could stop her now. “Tell me to stop,” Enid said, hardly audible over the thundering rain.
“Why?” Wednesday seemed to be leaning towards her too, and with no request for her to stop, Enid took the leap. Still holding Wednesday’s hand in one of her own, she reached up and cupped Wednesday’s chin with her other hand. She tilted Wednesday’s chin up and looked into her eyes. She didn’t consider that she shouldn’t. She didn’t think about either of their boyfriends. She just kissed her roommate.
Their first kiss was destructive. Enid would never be right again. One of the girls sighed into the kiss (was it her? Was it Wednesday?) and she knew in that moment she had been ruined for the rest of her life. If she couldn't kiss Wednesday every day she would never know peace again.
Enid dropped Wednesday's hand, grabbing the front of her sweater instead. She fisted the cloth, pulling the girl closer. They were first kiss clumsy, all clashing teeth and mismatched lips. Wednesday put her hands on Enid’s hips, bracing herself as she leaned into the werewolf. they found their rhythm, Wednesday tilting her head to the side as she let end slip her tongue into her mouth. Enid sighed (she knew it was her this time) and withdrew a few inches, panting as raindrops cut into the small space between them.she couldn't tell if the thundering in her ears was from her own heart or the rain, and it didn't really matter.
Enid opened her eyes to look at Wednesday, who simply said, “Oh.” Enid had questions. She wanted to kiss Wednesday more. She wanted to call Ajax to break up with him right now. Before she could do any of those things, and she was leaning in to kiss Wednesday again, a sharp rapping from their window caused them to spring apart guiltily. Yoko was in their room, pounding on their window and looking very confused.
It's two am and I'm cursing your name
Enid was pacing in Yoko’s room. It was past midnight, and they'd been at this for hours. Now she was annoyed, embarrassed, tired, and hungry.
Yoko laid on her bed, scrolling through her newsfeed. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me first. Wednesday Addams of all people.” She plugged in her cell phone, then kept talking. “You have Ajax, the kindest boy on this side of the continental US, and you cheat on him with the angriest of the outcasts.”
Enid bristled. This was the third time Yoko accused her of cheating in this circular argument. It was technically true, but it still stung. “If you like him so much, you date him.”
Yoko continued like Enid hadn't spoken. Enid could have said the next words with her. “And Xavier, after a whole year, finally getting his manic pixie nightmare girl.” She looked at Enid, who was seething. “And you sweep in and kiss her in the rain like it's the fucking Notebook.”
“IM IN LOVE WITH HER, ALRIGHT!?” Enid roared in the middle of the room, claws out and chest heaving. “I REFUSE to apologize for it! Im in love with Wednesday and it's been killing me!”
Yoko sat up and finally set her phone down, giving Enid her full attention. “No one asked you to apologize. I was just waiting for you to admit it out loud. Calm down and put your claws away, Balto.”
All the fight drained from her, Enid dropped to the floor. “What do I do?”
“Simple. Lose the boy and get the girl.”
I'm so in love that I acted insane
Enid snuck back into the room at four am. She walked in as quietly as possible, changed in their closet and tiptoed to her bed. Wednesday hadn't made a single sound. Proud not to disturb the girl, Enid grabbed her blanket, pulled it back, and found Wednesday asleep in it, one arm around Franz.
Enid froze at the sight of Wednesday in her bed. Should she sleep in Wednesdays? Should she wake her? The girl looked so comfortable. While Enid stood there frozen, Wednesday's eyes fluttered open. “I thought you weren't coming back. I didn't want you to sneak in and out. Though it occurs to me now that you don't have the talent for subterfuge that I do.” Enid rolled her eyes. “Are you leaving?”
“No, just gonna sleep.” Wednesday nodded, then started to get out of Enid’s bed. “You could stay. Um, if you want.”
Wednesday paused, her legs hanging over the side of the bed. “What do you want?”
“I want you to stay, if you want.” Enid looked at the ground. Wednesday swung her legs up, laying back in the bed.
Enid spent the night in Wednesday's arms, with Franz the Franken-unicorn in hers.
And that’s the way I loved you
“I want to break up.”
“What?”
“I'm so sorry Jax, I'm just not happy anymore.”
“What did I do?”
Enid sighed. “Nothing at all.”
“Does this have something to do with Wednesday?”
She inhaled sharply. “Why would you ask that?”
“You two have been weird around each other for a minute. And yesterday she showed up at our room, soaking wet and said,” he dropped all emotion and made his face blank, “We’re over. Sorry. Hope we can be friends.’ Then she shook Xavier’s hand and left.”
“She...dumped him?”
“Man, thats it isn't it? You and Wednesday?” He secured his beanie as one of his snakes slipped out and hissed. “I knew this would happen. You two have this like Romeo and Julio thing going.” She resisted the urge to correct him. he continued, “Though I guess yall don't really have the Capulet and Donaghue thing.” She bit her tongue. “I was surprised you said yes to me in the first place.”
“I'm so sorry.”
“I know. I'll talk to you later.” He left without looking back.
I never knew I could feel this much
Enid hurried to her room. Wednesday was in the middle of her daily writing time. Enid had learned a year before not to interrupt this time in her roommate's schedule. Rather than say anything, she began to pace. The typing on the typewriter became her marching beat, helping her keep pace. Finally, the typing stopped.
“Enid, why are you pacing?”
“You broke up with Xavier?”
Wednesday turned in her chair to face enid. The black roses were still on her desk. “Yes, i did.”
“Why?”
Wednesday returned a question as well. “Where were you this morning?”
“I broke up with Ajax.”
Wednesday blinked. “Why?”
“Why did you break up with Xavier?” The frustration and impatience were killing her.
“It didn't feel right. An Addams knows when it's right.”
“Okay.”
Wednesday stood up. “Why did you break up with Ajax?”
“It didn't feel right.”
Wednesday nodded, taking a step forward. “Okay.”
Enid took a few steps closer. “Is there anything that has felt right?”
Wednesday's eyes flicked toward their balcony, and Enid’s heart soared as she said, “yes, I think so.”
“Wednesday...” Enid began hesitantly, “I have a confession to make.”
“Cara mia, I think I know what it is.”
“I don't know what that means.” Wednesday closed the rest of the space between them. Enid could hear Wednesday’s heart speeding up. “I don't speak-” Wednesday took Enid’s hands and Enid went silent.
“Mia lupa, I thought my father had been exaggerating.I was wrong. It grew so fast. It built. I've known nothing like...” Wednesday groaned, frustrated. “Enid, I-”
“I’m in love with you.” Enid cut in. She couldn’t wait any longer. “I’m sorry it too me so long to say anything. I have been in love with you for months and I was too afraid to say it.”
Wednesday stepped forward and caught Enid’s sweatshirt by the strings. She tugged them with surprised strength. Enid stumbled forward, giggling. “Tell me to stop,” Wednesday smirked.
“Why?” Enid leaned down, kissing Wednesday with reckless abandon.
“I love you too,” Wednesday said before kissing Enid again.
And thats the way i loved you