Work Text:
Jaehyun was packing his things when his eyes fell on the photo frame on his desk. Showing a portrait of him, his beloved husband, and their still reddish little baby. The photo was taken candidly by Johnny, moments after their little princess was born. Makes it look so nostalgic because it shows how Jaehyun and Renjun were in tears, looked so overwhelmed, while looking at their crying little baby.
Jaehyun smiles brightly. Remembering his little family, his warm little family, his perfect warm little family, is always able put a smile on his face.
His eyes then shifted to the wedding photo that he placed next to it. Jaehyun smiled even wider, looking at how Renjun looked fluffy and cute there. With chubby cheeks, his signature bread smile, and sparkling eyes.
Yep. Jaehyun and Renjun got married last spring. About two months before their little angel was born. With Johnny's help, they manage to find a church surrounded by cherry blossoms, just like what Renjun wanted. It was just a small private party attended by a few friends, but so meaningful. A very beautiful moment that Jaehyun still can't believe really happened.
Remembering that day made Jaehyun chuckle lightly. He remembered how shocked Haechan was when he came clean to admit that he was the father of the child in Renjun's belly. That boy immediately became hysterical, pointing a bread knife at Jaehyun and saying, "I don't approve this!" at first, but then ended up sobbing while saying, "But as long as Renjun is happy, I will pray for you to be happy together forever!"
Haechan is always overprotective.
But until now he is still Renjun's best friend.
"You took the day off for tomorrow?" a voice interrupted Jaehyun's thoughts.
Jaehyun smiled. He looked at his best friend before nodding and replying, "Yeah, I'm taking a few days off."
"Okay then. Enjoy your holiday and send my love to Renjun and Byul. Kinda miss my little princess," Johnny said while handing over a small gift, "And here, happy birthday to you."
Jaehyun laughed and accepted the early birthday gift. Johnny must have bought him another expensive watch. Same gift every year, but Jaehyun never protests. Because he knew Johnny always chose his presents carefully. To Johnny, giving Jaehyun a watch in his every birthday is a symbol that they will continue to be friends from time to time.
Yeah, Johnny can be that cliché sometimes.
"Thanks, dude."
They then talked for a while before Jaehyun said goodbye.
Many things have changed since Jaehyun and Renjun got married. He really never took a job abroad again. Trying his best to be a good team with Renjun, working together in taking care of their little angel.
He had to admit, Byul's birth was not an easy thing for them to deal with. Renjun is still very young. Still in his early twenties. Sometimes it makes Jaehyun feel guilty because he has taken away the little babe's youth.
At Renjun's age, Jaehyun was still busy experimenting with life. Enjoying his college life. Pursuing his career as a professional photographer. Before finally exploring the world.
But Renjun is different. At such a young age, he had to give birth to their little angel, become a husband, and inevitably continued his studies remotely. Jaehyun realized that for Renjun everything must be harder. But his small husband never complained (only grumbled once in a while when Jaehyun put his towel on the bed after taking a shower).
That's what makes him love Renjun more and more. Making him more and more want to make his little husband happy. Because Jaehyun is very grateful. He is very grateful that God gave him the opportunity to claim and own the love of his life. To have a future and spend the rest of their lives together.
That's also what made Jaehyun change 180 degrees. No more night life. No more weekend hangouts. No more business dinners with colleagues. He even quit smoking and drinking (well, sometimes he still drinks wine though, with Renjun, when their baby is asleep). In short, Jaehyun is now fully dedicating all his time to his little family.
Yeah. He gave his whole life for his family. Even though sometimes he is tired. Even though sometimes he gets bored. Even though sometimes his tired body after working all day has to be even more tired when he finds Renjun crying and their house is a mess like now.
Jaehyun froze.
He had just opened the door and what greeted him was a sight of Renjun crying on the floor with scattered substances that Jaehyun assumed was their baby's food. Meanwhile the little monster is still throwing leftover food from the feeding chair to her papa with no mercy.
What a sight.
"Why doesn't Princess Eun Byul want to eat? Why you torturing papa like this? Papa is tired!" Renjun whimpers between his sobs. It made Jaehyun feel sad to see how desperate his husband is.
Jaehyun then took off his shoes and changed into slippers, before hanging up his coat and bag. He unbuttoned some of his shirt buttons and rolled up his sleeves. Walk towards the source of the chaos calmly.
Realizing Jaehyun's presence, Renjun immediately caught his breath. He was still hiccuping, with his face red, looking at Jaehyun sadly. Like he wanted to explain, apologize, or whatever, but he couldn't because he was still sobbing.
Jaehyun gave him an apologetic smile. Then walked towards the kitchen and prepared instant porridge. It's too late to cook another baby food. The important thing now is that Byul eats and is full so she can sleep soon.
"Byul doesn't like instant porridge. She doesn't want to eat that," Renjun said between his hiccups. Still sitting on the floor helpless.
"You better take a shower. Let me take care of Byul and prepare dinner. You must not have eaten, right?" Jaehyun said without turning around, busy preparing porridge for their little angel who was in her monster mode.
Renjun doesn't answer. Now there is only Byul's incoherent babbling sound and the sound of a plastic bowl being tapped. Jaehyun thought his little husband must be taking a bath. But his prediction was wrong when he turned around and found Renjun still sitting on the floor, sullen.
Jaehyun didn't say much. He just shook his head slowly while bringing the instant porridge he made to Byul who is still busy playing with her spoon. As soon as she saw her daddy, those round eyes shone brightly. Byul giggling while moving enthusiastically as if she wanted to jump out of her chair.
Renjun just snorted in disbelief from where he sat.
Jaehyun then kneeled down. Wiping Byul's feeding chair table before placing a bowl of instant baby porridge there. Byul's playful face then turned timid when she looked at her daddy looking at her seriously.
Without any more words, Jaehyun then fed Byul the porridge, which the little monster immediately greeted without resistance. Byul opened her mouth quickly, making Renjun groan in annoyance.
"What a traitor! Humph!" Renjun muttered annoyed, before getting up and walking towards the bedroom with stomping steps.
Jaehyun sighed tiredly. He stared at his little princess who was now eating mouthful after mouthful while smiling innocently. Byul can be very stubborn sometimes. And of course that is a trait that she got from her papa.
Yeah, even though their little angel has a physique like a copy of Jaehyun, with bright skin and dimples on both cheeks, Byul's character is completely a copy of Renjun.
Byul is indeed like Renjun in travel size.
That's what makes Jaehyun sometimes overwhelmed. And if they both have tantrums, the daddy can't do anything but giving up.
Well, he had a hand in creating this situation after all.
"Princess, why did you do that to Papa? Hm?" Jaehyun said, as if his little baby understood, "Help Daddy take care of Papa, okay? Papa has tried so hard to give us the best. Don't make him sad. Hm?"
Byul may not really understand. But she was babbling with a sad face. As if trying to argue and answer her daddy. All Jaehyun could hear was, "Ba ba dha ba bleh bluw".
"I know, Princess. I know. Sometimes it's hard for Papa to understand what you want. But he tries. Look, he makes you various foods, hoping you'll like one of them. Well, Daddy has to admit he's not a good cook. But at least, give him chance, okay?"
Baby Byul looked at Jaehyun cynically. Just like Renjun when he didn't like the option Jaehyun gave him, even though he realized it was the only choice he had.
"Now let's finish this food, then take a shower, and get ready for bed. Okay? Can Princess do that for Daddy?" Jaehyun continued while wiping Byul's chubby cheeks.
The little baby's mood then change in a split second. She looks happy and giving her sweet sweet grin again. She giggled while taking another bite while growling happily. Jaehyun chuckled at her cute antics.
After finishing the food, Jaehyun bathed Byul and put her in her favorite bunny pajama. He then rocking her small body until Byul fell asleep. After making sure the little princess had went to her dreamland, Jaehyun left the room and walked towards the kitchen.
Renjun is still nowhere to be seen. Maybe having a mental breakdown in the bathroom as usual. Almost a year of living together made him quite understand how to deal with Renjun and his tangled mind. At this kind of condition, Jaehyun will give him space until Renjun is ready to open the door himself.
With a tired body and a tired mind, Jaehyun cleaned up the mess caused by Renjun and Byul fight during dinner time earlier. He didn't even have time to change his clothes. But he didn't care. He would take a shower later, after preparing dinner and eating with his husband.
Jaehyun was making kimchi jjigae when he felt a tiny body pressed against his back. He stared at the tiny arms that were now wrapped around his stomach in silence. Jaehyun smiled. He clapped his husband’s hand with one hand while the other one stirred the almost cooked food.
"You smell like shit," Renjun said jokingly, which Jaehyun only answered with a low chuckle.
"Well, you know why."
"Nah, just kidding. You smell really good even though you're sweaty and messy," said the small husband while taking a deep breath, still clinging to Jaehyun's back.
Jaehyun laughed, "You're just whipped."
The small husband didn't answer. Just nuzzle Jaehyun's back while groaning incoherently. Maybe trying to relieve his fatigue. Jaehyun just smiled at his cute behavior.
"I'm sorry," the small babe muttered later.
"What for?" Jaehyun said casually while adding salt to his cooking. He then turned off the stove after making sure the taste was right.
"I'm not a good dad. I can't handle our child well. I'm really, really, really stupid," Renjun said muffled. The small babe still pressed his face against Jaehyun's back. Jaehyun could feel his back getting wet. Renjun seems to be crying again.
Jaehyun sighed. Then he turned around so he could look at his husband closely. He cupped that tiny face lovingly, while wiping away the tears that were still flowing down those not so chubby cheeks. Damn. Jaehyun just realized how skinny Renjun is now. Must be caused by stress. It makes his heart felt squeezed tight.
"Babe, don't say that. If you're not a good dad, then neither am I. I told you a thousand times, right? We're in this together."
"But... but Byul listens to you. Byul doesn't want to listen to me. My heart hurts," Renjun said while crying. Jaehyun didn't have the heart to see that. So, he hugs him while trying to calm him down.
"Byul dares to fight you because she feels comfortable with you, because she spends most of her time with you. She feel safe protesting against you. And that's normal, Renjun."
"She doesn't love me. I'm sad."
"Ssshh... don't say that. She's just in a rebellious phase. It's okay. We'll handle it together."
They hugged like that for a few moments. Jaehyun stroked his husband's tiny back lovingly. Saying thousands of words of love and encouragement in the hope of healing his husband's aching heart a little.
After dinner and clean up, Jaehyun was finally able to take a shower, before finally joining his husband on the bed. The two lay on the bed and stared at each other. Renjun still had tears in his eyes, and Jaehyun rubbed them gently with his fingers.
"I'm the one who should be sorry," Jaehyun said softly. "I know you are not ready for all this responsibility. I was reckless because I wanted to have you."
Renjun sobbed while shaking his head, "No. Really. I don't regret anything. I want this too. Have a family with you. I want it. I'm happy. It's just.. it's just that sometimes I feel tired. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy. Really! I love Byul. I love you. Even if I could turn back time, I really don't want to change anything. I don't regret any of this. I'm just tired sometimes. That's… that’s normal, right?" he started rambling, making Jaehyun both happy and sad.
Happy because Renjun is happy with him, sad because even though he tried his best, it turns out that he still can't prevent Renjun from feeling this stress.
Jaehyun smiled. Showing his dimples while stroking Renjun's head and saying, "Of course. Of course, it's normal. We can feel tired even if we do something we really want or have planned well," he then hugged Renjun into his arms before continuing, "It's just... tell me when things get unbearable, okay? Tell me what I can do to make you feel better. If you think I'm not playing a role in this family, just tell me. Hm?"
The little husband hugged him back tightly. He buried his face in Jaehyun's arms and took a deep breath before saying softly, "You're enough, Jae. You are more than enough. You are the best partner. Someone I can always rely on."
Jaehyun smiled at that. He also cried silently while hugging Renjun tightly.
His body and mind may be tired, but with Renjun in his arms like this, and their little princess now sleeping in her crib in the next room, Jaehyun feels complete and whole.
If he has to be honest, in his whole life, Jaehyun never dared to dream of having all of this. Let alone a family that he has now, he never even dared to imagine he could be with Renjun.
The first time Renjun allowed him to touch him, Jaehyun couldn't sleep all night long. He was wide awake, kept staring at that pretty face in silence all night while smiling like a fool. To him, it all felt like a dream.
Jaehyun was scared after that. Afraid that he didn’t deserve to feel that happiness. Afraid that Renjun will hate him and slap him if he tries to get closer again. However, when he was in Paris, when in the midst of many people tried to seduce him and Jaehyun's thoughts were only on Renjun, he knew that this tiny man had become the place he wanted to go home.
No one, like literally no one, could imagine how mixed his feelings were when he found dozens of positive test packs in Renjun's bathroom that night. He was crying on the bathroom floor. Grateful. Confused. Happy. Feel guilty. All in one.
He's afraid that Renjun doesn't want the baby. Moreover, the little babe seemed to show no signs that he wanted to tell him about the pregnancy. Then his heart hurt even more when Renjun had to go to the ER at that time. He almost gave up. Almost gave up and let go of the figure he loved so much. If Renjun didn't want him and their baby, Jaehyun was even ready to raise the child himself and set Renjun free.
So when Renjun accepts his proposal, when they decided to tie the knot, when they finally got married and exchanged vows before God, Jaehyun promises to never let go of all of this.
Renjun and Byul are his life now.
Renjun and Byul are his home now.
Jaehyun didn't want to ask for another birthday present. This is enough. This present is perfect for him, regardless of how imperfect their past was.
He fell asleep like that. Holding his tiny husband in his arms, while replaying the memory from when they first met until this very second. That's what makes Jaehyun fall asleep with a smile on his lips. That's what makes him feel relieved, sated, and composed.
This is the life he longs for.
***
Jaehyun woke up when he smelled the smell of burning. His eyes blinked slowly before turning alert. He touched the bed beside him and found it cold. Renjun is already awake.
He massaged his temples tiredly. He takes a week off to spend time with his little family. But it seems, even on vacation, he still has to work hard to keep this house intact.
No. He didn't complain. He only had a second moment of contemplation.
"JAEHYUNAAAAAH.... COME HERE.... I NEED YOU!!!"
Jaehyun closed back his eyes, but chuckled because his husband's loud voice in this too early morning made him want to be mad but couldn't. He had to remind Renjun that he couldn't keep calling him like that before Byul followed him.
"JAEHYUNAAAAAH!!!" Renjun let out another scream a second later because Jaehyun didn't answer his first call.
Ah.. what a beautiful birthday morning.
"Coming, Babe. Just a sec," Jaehyun answered calmly but it was loud enough for Renjun to hear. He still chuckled, rubbed his eyes slowly before walking out of the room unsteadily.
Jaehyun was already prepared to find the room messy as usual when he reached the living room. But that's not what he found.
Well… it's a mess. But not the mess he had imagined.
It's a mess with a variety of birthday decorations that are clearly Renjun tried to put as best he can.
In the middle of the room, Renjun and their baby are standing, wearing couple pink pajamas and birthday party hats. Byul's hat is a little oversized tho. It covers part of her face. But the two of them looked so excited. Byul then laughed shrillly when Renjun popped his confetti at Jaehyun who was still standing dumbfounded.
"Happy Birthday, Daddy!" Renjun then said cheerfully, while Byul squealed happily. The baby girl clearly didn't understand, but seeing her papa's enthusiasm, she just went along with it.
Jaehyun couldn't hide his amazed, happy, and grateful face. He smiled fondly, with a dimple that matched Byul's, and eyes curved like crescent moons. His heart warmed. He laughed until tears came out of the corners of his eyes.
He then stepped closer to the two people he loved the most. Byul and her grabby hands tried to reach him. Want to jump into her daddy's arms right away. Renjun just laughed at her cute antics.
"Byullie, today is daddy's birthday. Come on, kiss daddy and say thank you for always taking care of us!" Renjun said while stroking their princess’ head who was now in Jaehyun's arms.
Byul giggling happily. She kissed her daddy's cheek, giving him a super wet smooch, and babbling incoherently. Her grabby hand then cupped Jaehyun's face before bitting his nose playfully. Making Renjun and Jaehyun laugh in unison.
"That's it? That's how you bless daddy? Okay, Princess. Thank you!"
Byul then rested her head on Jaehyun's shoulder. Still smiling showing off her small dimples while looking at her daddy lovingly. They stared at each other like that for a few moments until Renjun chuckled.
"Guess I'm not the only one who has you as first love, huh?" Renjun said then, making Jaehyun look at his husband and kiss his cheek affectionately.
"Can't help it. You know how charming I am," Jaehyun said before wink teasingly.
Renjun laughs. He then told Jaehyun to wash his face and change into the pink couple pajamas he had prepared. Renjun reasoned that he chose pink because it also Valentine's Day after all. So maybe pink will be their dress code to celebrate Jaehyun's birthday from now on.
They then blow out the candles together and take a photo. It’s Jaehyun's first birthday photo with his little family. He mentally making a note to print the picture and put it on his desk later, next to the other two. It's cute, Jaehyun has to admit it. Especially seeing how enthusiastic Renjun and Byul were when they cut the cake together.
Really. He won't ask for more. All of this was more than enough for him.
After having breakfast together (it turned out that the burnt smell was coming from the burnt pancakes), they sat huddled together on the couch. Renjun sat sideways on Jaehyun's lap, leaning on his chest. While Byul drank milk while clinging to Renjun's chest while watching the Cocomelon that was playing on TV.
Jaehyun's chest warmed. He smiled, enjoying how heavenly and domestic this situation was. The best birthday present indeed.
"Tell me how can you always smile this brightly? You never even look tired," Renjun said half whispering so as not to disturb Byul who was starting to fall asleep on his chest.
Jaehyun looked at his small husband gently, then stroked his hair affectionately and kissed his forehead softly.
"Not gonna lie, I also feel tired sometimes. But having you two in my arms like this is a gift, Renjun."
Renjun narrowed his eyes and smiled mischievously, "So I don't need to give you another birthday present? Hm?"
Jaehyun laughed. A very sweet laugh that make Renjun can't stop looking at him lovingly. The small husband couldn't hide his full of admiration gaze for the man who had filled his life constantly in the past year.
"Of course, I would be happy if you prepared a gift for me. But this is enough. I'm happy, Renjun. I'm very happy and it's all thanks to you. You are my gift."
Renjun smiled at that. His cheeks flushed before saying, "Kiss me then. Give your gift your best kiss."
And who Jaehyun to say no to that? He smiled before grabbing Renjun's tiny nape and bringing their faces closer.
Jaehyun smiles.
Renjun smiles.
And when their lips were close enough, Renjun whispered, "Happy Birthday, Mr. Valentine. Let's put our little Byul to sleep and open your real present then."
Jaehyun chuckled, then answered in a slightly hoarse and deep voice, "I would love to. I can't wait to do that."
And they kiss. That kind of cute giggly kiss. Like an innocent first kiss. Like the first stupid love drunk kiss. They stared at each other lovingly as if this was the first time they had fallen in love with each other.
Jaehyun wanted to stay like this. He is willing to do anything to be able to enjoy days like this for the rest of his life.
With Renjun,
With their little Eun Byul,
Jaehyun can finally build his own home.
A perfect warm home that will always be the place to come back to.