Work Text:
My dearest Akutagawa,
It’s Valentine's Day, so it felt only right to write my first real love letter to you today. I wish this could be written out in the full splendors of a paper and pen and then enveloped to be sent to you. But for reasons I’m sure you are well aware of, that is not possible. So I’ve resorted to this typed out piece. I can only hope that my words will be just as impactful here as in a traditional love letter.
When I think of our relationship, I remember this one seemingly insignificant memory. We were on a date—one of our first, maybe the second—and I complimented your appearance in some way, makeup or maybe outfit? I don’t quite recall, but your face broke out into this lovely blush, and I’m pretty sure I just stood there in stunned silence for a second.
You’ve always been breathtakingly beautiful, and I absolutely adore your looks. But in that moment, your usual calm—almost stoic—expression broke for a second and I think that was the moment I fell in love.
Again, it seemed so insignificant at the time, but I think back to it and it makes me so incredibly happy, every time. I don’t even understand it much myself, perhaps it’s because it was the first time I said that emotionally affected you in such a sudden, but strikingly ethereal way.
Ever since then, I’ve found immense pleasure in seeing your flustered face. Sometimes, I try to compliment you out of the blue, just to see a glimpse of that blush. Recently though, I think you’ve gotten a bit too used to my praise. You don’t seem to get as flustered as you used to. I guess I’ll have to find an alternative to make you blush that pretty pink again. Perhaps a kiss would do the trick.
Something that I still cannot believe is the fact that we are actually dating—as in a real, romantic relationship, with real feelings. We both know that we would have never even met, if it were not for our unique situation, with Dazai-san pushing us together and all. But as sudden and strange our relationship might have been at first, I want you to know that I don’t regret a second of it, and I hope you don’t either.
Ever since we got together, the thought of you trails me everywhere I go. Did you know that I have a photo album of pictures of just you on my phone? I pull it up and scroll mindlessly through it sometimes. When I miss you. Now that I think about it, it feels kind of creepy, but I swear I don’t mean it in a creepy way.
I doodle sometimes. At the agency, on paperwork. It used to be because of idle boredom. However, lately it’s been a chance to sketch out a little picture of you. You’ve become my muse.
You are mine and I am yours. And I know I’m supposed to be the “world-saving,” “good guy” in the relationship but honestly, I would destroy the world if it meant securing your happiness. I am forever hopelessly devoted to you, my love.
I desperately look forward to the next time I can see you. I love you, I miss you, and I want you.
Love,
Nakajima Atsushi
An unopened letter found on the hospital bedside table of the late Ryuunosuke Akutagawa, delivered just a few moments after the heart monitor flatlined completely. It was sent across the country to where the infamous Port Mafia member was completing a mission, disguised as additional mission instructions from the Armed Detective Agency of Yokohama, Japan.