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English
Series:
Part 3 of Loose Strings Universe
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Published:
2023-02-15
Completed:
2023-04-04
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70,379
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36/36
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4
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The Ballad of Katalina Sanchez

Summary:

Katalina Rafaela Posada Sanchez, the firstborn daughter of Manolo and Maria Sanchez, and the life she led.

Chapter 1

Notes:

TW: Mentions of the Holocaust, Period Typical Antisemitism

Chapter Text

“Katalina Rafaela Posada Sanchez.”
Those were the first words she could really hear once she’d stopped screaming. Little did she know then, from that day forward that would be her name, a name she would come to know well. She had come into the world in the golden hours of twilight on a chilly day in February, and she had not come alone.
-
“Katalina! Mireya!” Came the sound of their mother’s voice from the door to the garden. Two young girls about the age of two hid behind a large agave plant. One with skin the color of brown sugar and hair a dark chocolate color, the other with toffee colored skin and ebony colored hair. The girls giggled and stayed hidden behind the large plant.
“Oh no, I wonder where those girls could be. They must have disappeared into thin air.” Their mother’s voice drew closer, though she herself was still out of the girls’ line of sight.
“Such a shame. I guess I’ll have to eat all those Puerquitos by myself.”
Of course, it was Mireya who broke their cover.
“Nooooo! Puerquitos!” The toffee-skinned girl ran out from behind the agave plant towards her mother’s red skirts at full speed, wrapping her arms around the woman’s legs.
“Ah! There’s My Mireya!” Their mother laughed and picked her up, eliciting a delighted giggle from the toddler.
“Puerquitos! Want Puerquitos!” Mireya demanded.
“Calma, calma. We still have to find your-Oh!”
“En garde!” Katalina smacked at the back of her mother’s legs with a fallen agave frond, pretending the rotting plant was a sword. The woman turned around with a chuckle.
“There she is! Have you been watching your tio again?”
“En garde!” Katalina protested as she was lifted into her mother’s arms alongside her sister.
“Do You want Puerquitos too, mi soldadita?”
“Puerquitos!” Both girls demanded.
“Alright, alright. You can’t have all of them, though. We have to save some for your Papá for when he gets home.” Their mother said, carrying the two of them inside where pig-shaped gingerbread cookies and milk awaited the children.
-
It was an afternoon spent like any other. Their schoolbags discarded in the shade of a cactus, two girls of around eight years of age sparred with toy swords in the desert on the outskirts of their town. Katalina, agile and quick like a cat, was an even match for Mireya, who kept her feet planted in the earth and focused more on brute strength than evasive maneuvers.
The score up until this point had been even, but unfortunately Katalina wasn’t set to take another victory this time, and mid-leap from a cactus she felt her twin’s hand wrap around her ankle and trip her up, sending her flying to the ground where she landed on her back.
“Oof!” Katalina grunted as she hit the ground, closing her eyes reflexively. When she opened them, her sister was standing over her holding a hand out.
“I win!” Mireya grinned.
“I would call it best two out of three, but I’m tired.” Katalina said, taking her sister’s hand and allowing Mireya to help her up.
“Whatever, this at least puts me ahead of you, suelta.”
“Hey! If someone hadn’t wasted all our water pranking Lucas back at the schoolhouse, I would have the energy to crush you!”
“But did you see his FACE?! When that water balloon dropped on him I thought he was going to wet himself!” Mireya giggled, and Katalina had to laugh with her.
“It was pretty funny.” She agreed.
“Besides, every win against you gets me closer to becoming una gran torera!” Mireya said, striking an action pose with her wooden sword.
“And every win I get against YOU gets ME closer to becoming Una poderosa soldado!” Katalina said, striking her own action pose with her own sword.
The twins froze there for a few moments before Mireya started to lose her balance and eventually fell over, causing Katalina to lose her composure and start laughing.
“You really think Mamá y Papá will be too happy with you becoming a bullfighter?”
Mireya sat up and blew her black hair out of her face.
“No. Which is why we don’t tell them. Then, one day, when we’re all grown up, I’ll run away and become a bullfighter and I won’t ever come back until they accept me.”
“You won’t visit me?” Katalina asked, her face falling. Mireya frowned and stood up and went to her sister.
“Of course I will. But we won’t be in San Ángel anymore. We’ll cast the shadows, and we won’t live under anyone else’s out there. Even out there, no matter what, you’ll always be my sister.” Mireya held up her pinky with a smile. Katalina smiled softly and linked her pinky with Mireya’s.
“And you’ll always be… A burro!” She used her other hand to noogie Mireya teasingly.
“Oye! Watch the sword, You witch!”
“You’re the witch! An ugly witch!”
“You should look in the mirror!”
The girls’ playful bickering, however, was soon interrupted by the sound of horses’ hooves, as a wagon with people and a few boxes in it began to draw closer to them. They stepped out of the way, and the wagon soon came to a halt before them. In the front seat sat a Soldier in a green uniform, the new combat standard and nothing like the old blue one their Tio wore, which he told them was just for show.
“Excuse me, niñas. Is this next town San Ángel?” The soldier asked.
“Sí, señor. Would you like us to lead you there?” Katalina replied.
“Do you two need a ride back into town?”
“Sí, we live there, in Mondragon mansion.”
“Ah, you’re Joaquin’s nieces, then. Hop aboard, vamo.”
Mireya And Katalina grabbed their bags and their wooden swords and climbed onto the front seat next to the driver. As she sat, Katalina stole a look at the passengers.
There was a man and a woman, both lighter skinned than Katalina and Mireya, dressed in ragged looking clothing. The man had greying hair and a beard, and the woman’s hair was wrapped up in a headscarf. In between them, so small and skinny he could barely be noticed, was a boy in a black cap. His Hazel eyes met Katalina’s black ones, and she found herself wondering about this strange child late into the night.
-
The boy’s name, Katalina would later learn, was Hershel Kaufmann. His Spanish wasn’t great, but she learned that he came all the way from Germany.
“My tio’s mother is from there. He doesn’t speak a whole lot of German, though.”
“I speak some, but my family mostly speaks Yiddish.” Hershel said, drawing in the sand with a stick during their lunch break at school.
“Why did you come to San Ángel?” Katalina asked before taking a bite of a chicken empanada.
“My father’s toy store was destroyed, so we left. Mother says a small town is a good place for us to start over.”
“Do you miss Germany?”
“A little. I miss my friends, and the river that ran by our house. I miss my dog too.”
“What happened to your dog?”
“We had to leave him with my uncle because they wouldn’t allow him on the boat.”
“That’s sad.”
“Do you have a dog?”
“No, but we have a pig. His name is Chuy and he’s really old. Oh, and my tio has a white horse named Plata! Sometimes he lets me and my sister ride her.”
“What good is a pig for?”
“He’s just fun to be around. He’s kind of like a dog, I guess. What was your dog’s name?”
“Bruno. I’ve had him since I was little, but my uncle will take good care of him.”
“What did he look like?”
“He was really big, and he had black and brown fur and pointy ears, but one of them flopped over a lot. I miss him, but I know I’ll see him again whenever I get to go back to Germany.” Hershel took the stick away from the sand, revealing a drawing of a boy with curly hair and a dog with one floppy ear and one pointy ear.
“Will you go back?”
“I will. Mother said this is like a vacation, that we’ll go back when it’s calmer. We just have to relax here for a while.”
“Well, when you go back to Germany, maybe I’ll come with you. Then I can meet Bruno and see the river by your house.”
“You’d do that?”
“We’re friends, aren’t we?”
-
They were friends, for about six years that is. Katalina and Hershel were all but joined at the hip for that time.
As people grow up, they grow apart, and such was the fate that befell Katalina and Mireya. No longer did they spar every day under the hot sun, but spent much time at home arguing. Nobody could tell wether it was because they were too different, or perhaps too similar.
It didn’t matter to Katalina. She had her own life to worry about. Mireya would take off one night and leave her one day anyway, so the more detached she was the better.
“Sorry Hershel, I can’t get churros with you this afternoon. I have to watch Félix today.” Katalina said to Hershel as they walked home from the schoolhouse.
“It’s fine. Why don’t you go home and watch your brother, and I’ll get the three of us churros and then catch up. Oh! I can get one for Mireya too.” Hershel suggested.
“You can if you want, I guess.” Katalina shrugged.
“I just kind of hoped it would be just the two of us.”
“Well, it can be just the two of us once you don’t have Félix on your hands.” Hershel said. Katalina blushed a little.
“Yeah, it would be fun if you came over. We could play cards or something. I doubt Mireya would join us, but you, me, and Félix can have some fun.”
“Sounds great! I’ll see you in twenty?”
“Sure. You know where to find me.” As Hershel walked away, Katalina waved after him from the steps of her home, one hand clutching her skirt tightly. Once she was inside, however, she cursed herself.
“¡estúpido idiota! Why can’t I just TELL him? Ugh! I’m usually braver than this.” She slumped down onto the parlor’s settee with her hands over her face, not even remembering to take her sandals off at the door.
“Tell who?” A teasing child’s voice asked from over her. Katalina looked up to see none other than her younger brother standing over her.
“None of your business, bicho.”
“Is it Heeeeeerrrrrsheeeeeeellllll?” Félix teased.
“Ay! Shut up!”
“It is! It is Hershel! Hershel and Lina sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Katalina jumped off the settee as Félix began to run away laughing and chased down her brother.
“¡Cállate la boca o te la lleno de piedras y te la coso, pequeño roedor!” She yelled as they ran through the house. Félix led Katalina in the chase for a while before he was fatefully stopped by running into a sheet that had been hung out to dry, allowing Katalina to pounce on him and tackle him.
“You’re lucky I don’t pull off my Chancla, you little pest!”
“Let go!”
“Not until you swear not to tell him!”
“I swear! I swear!”
Katalina let Félix go and stood up, brushing off her skirt.
“Bueno. If you break your promise, I will break your neck. Also I’ll eat the churro that Hershel is bringing for you.”
“Okay! Okay! I won’t tell him! Just PLEEEEEEAAAAAAASEEEEE don’t eat my churro!”
There was a knock on the door.
“Good. Now if you excuse me, I believe our churros are here.”
-
“That one is supposed to be Ursa Major. I read it in one of my mamá’s books.” Katalina pointed out a cluster of stars as she and Hershel laid on the roof.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Ursa Major, big bear. It’s supposed to look like a bear. See, there’s the body, and there’s the tail.”
“But I saw a bear at the circus once, and they don’t have long tails like that. Whoever named it after a bear is der dumkopf.”
“They also call it the Big Dipper, or the spoon, or the drinking gourd.”
“It does kind of look like a cup with a handle, or a very deep spoon. I don’t know what a dipper is.”
“Neither do I.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty dumb.”
“Well, it can’t be totally dumb if you like it.” Hershel said with a slight blush. Katalina’s face darkened with a blush and she looked over at him, her black eyes meeting his hazel once again.
“Hershel, I uh…” Katalina sat up. Hershel frowned and followed.
“What’s wrong?” The answer to his question came in the form of a chaste kiss to his lips, which he gladly returned. When the two separated, both of their faces were flushed and their hearts pounded in their chests.
“Yeah… That’s what’s wrong.” Katalina said.
“Well, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.” Hershel said, placing his hand on hers.
“Th-That’s good.” Katalina scootched closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder.
“Yeah. It is.”
And so ended their friendship.
-
When Hershel didn’t show up to the schoolhouse, Katalina was worried. Her beau had never missed a day of school, even when he was sick. Seven years she’d known him, enough to know when something was seriously wrong. So after the final bell had rung, Katalina marched to the small townhouse where the Kaufmann family lived and knocked on the door. It was Mrs. Kauffmann who answered, a solemn look etched into her stern face.
“A gut ovnt, Señora Kauffmann. Is Hershel home?”
“By lake, you find him.” Mrs. Kauffmann answered simply. Katalina nodded before leaving and going to the lakeside, where, sure enough, she found him sitting by the water. She sighed and sat down next to him.
“You missed school. You never miss school.”
“How could I go to school when there is so much darkness in the world?” He replied, sullenly poking the water with a stick.
“What’s wrong, cariño?” Katalina asked.
“I asked my father when we can go back to Germany.” Katalina felt her heart sink.
“You’re leaving?”
“No! That’s what’s wrong! Father says that we can never leave! He says that it isn’t safe there anymore, that-that bad men are rounding all of us Jews up and locking us away! My childhood home has been destroyed, my family has scattered across the world, and those who couldn’t leave were shipped to work camps! My home is gone, Lina. The Germany I loved is gone forever, but a small village girl like you wouldn’t get it!”
The two sat in uncomfortable silence, Katalina fiddling with her hands.
“You can’t make me happy. Nothing can make me happy until my homeland is safe, and I can leave this hot place.”
“Is that really what would make you happy?” Katalina asked, not looking up from her hands.
“Yes.”
There were a few more beats of silence before Katalina kissed him on the cheek and stood up.
“Adios, Hershel.”
“Where are you going?” He asked as she walked away.
“Just home. Don’t worry. I promise it will be okay.”
-
That night, Mireya was awoken from her slumber by the sound of scissors and a creaky floorboard. She opened up her eyes to find Katalina standing in front of the vanity in their shared room, holding their mother’s shears in one hand and her chopped off braid in the other.
“Lina?” Mireya groaned sleepily, sitting up.
“Wha—It’s the middle of the night. What are you doing?”
Katalina turned around and went to her sister, sitting next to her on her bed.
“Your hair!”
“Sssh!” Katalina shushed her, putting a finger to her sister’s lips to silence her.
“Lina, what are you doing?” Mireya whispered.
“I’m doing what needs to be done. I’m going to make this world a better place for all of us.”
“You’ll come back, right?”
“…Yes, I will.”
“You’re lying.”
“Okay, okay. I don’t know, that’s the truth.”
“But what if I never see you again?”
“Hey, look at me, hermanita.” Katalina cupped Mireya’s cheek in one hand and held out her other pinky to latch around her sister’s.
“No matter what, you’ll always be my sister.”
“And you’ll always be mine.” Mireya choked as latched her pinky around Katalina’s. Katalina hugged her sister, and Mireya hugged back. Then, the older twin kissed the younger one’s forehead and stood up, separating from her.
“Get some sleep, okay?”
“Okay… Te quiero.” Mireya laid back down, tears falling down her face.
“Te quiero.” Katalina said with a sad smile before leaving her childhood bedroom for what would be the last time.

Chapter 2

Summary:

A young stranger joins the army and receives more than she bargained for.

Notes:

TW: Period Typical Racism, Implied sexual content (with a teenager), Period Typical Homophobia, Smoking

Chapter Text

“Rafael Sanchez, is it?” The sublieutenant asked, looking over the papers in his hand before looking back up at the recruit in front of him.
“Sí señor.” The recruit said, trying his best to make his voice lower. The sublieutenant laughed.
“You’re a child, Sanchez. Do you really expect to be a soldier?”
“I have been trained since I could walk, señor.”
“Your papers say fifteen, but you have the face of a child. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were a girl, but I’m more inclined to suspect you’re younger than you say.”
“No señor. I was just cursed with a baby’s face.”
“Go home, boy. Come back when you get some hair on your chest.”
“With all due respect señor, I have been trained by the best of the best. I have been trained by Captain Joaquin Mondragon Jr. himself. He is my uncle.”
The bustling makeshift recruitment center suddenly went quiet, with all eyes on “Rafael”.
“You’re a Mondragon?”
“Sí, Señor.”
The sublieutenant thought for a moment, tapping his fingers on the table before speaking.
“Alright, Sanchez, why don’t we have a little wager?” The sublieutenant stood up.
“If you are who you say you are, you’ll have no problem defeating me in hand to hand combat. I learned from Captain Mondragon himself many years ago. Let’s see if you fight like one.”
“I’ll take your bet.” The recruit said with a smile.
-
The two faced each other about ten feet apart. Sublieutenant Jimenez and recruit Sanchez were in their places. A cowbell was rung, and the fight began.
Jimenez was the first to make a move, a swift jab at Sanchez’s chest, which the latter skillfully dodged by ducking and used the opportunity to kick his leg out and sweep under Jimenez’s feet, tripping him up and knocking him to the ground. As Jimenez tried to get up, Sanchez wrapped one of his arms around his neck from behind and squeezed tightly, strangling him. Jimenez made a risky move to get the upper hand and grabbed Sanchez’s arms and rolled over, throwing the young recruit over his head and to the ground. This action didn’t come without consequence, however. In the milliseconds before hitting the ground, Sanchez took Jimenez’s dominant arm and twisted it behind his head so it was painfully dragged along with him as he fell to the ground. There was a painful sounding “pop” and a string of loud cursing as Jimenez’s arm dislocated from his shoulder and Sanchez rolled away from his opponent, letting the arm go.
Sanchez sat upright and took a look at his handiwork. Jimenez was lying flat on the ground, nursing his injured arm while still cursing. The only injuries Sanchez seemed to have gotten away with was some road rash on his arms, a skinned knee that was bleeding a little through his trousers, and a wound on his inner cheek from where he accidentally bit himself upon hitting the ground. He took in a deep breath of air, taking pride in his apparent victory before getting to his feet.
Once Jimenez regained some composure, he stood up and offered his un-injured hand to Sanchez.
“Welcome to the Mexican Army, Cadet Sanchez.”
-
It had been a month since Katalina “Rafael” Sanchez had enlisted in the Mexican army. There had been a few letters from home, the first being a frantic letter from her mother and father reprimanding her for her departure and demanding she come home, which Katalina cordially responded to and told them that she was doing this for the greater good and begged them not to give away her identity or come to take her home.
The second was a letter from none other than her Tio Joaquin, who had received word of her departure from her father and only wrote to warn her of the road that laid ahead and to assure her he would support her endeavors and that she only needed to reach out if she needed anything.
The rest of the letters, of course, were from Hershel. Letters she had to keep tucked away where no eyes but hers could see. On one hand, they might reveal she was a woman. On the other hand, they might paint her as a homosexual. Both scenarios would be bad for her.
After two months, the letters in envelopes marked “H. Kauffmann” started to dwindle, coming less frequently than before. After three months, they stopped. After four months, one last letter arrived bearing that signature. That night, Katalina opened it in her bunk.

“Lina,
This can’t continue. What we had was fun, but it’s time to wake up.”


Time seemed to stop all together.

“We both know that I could never have a future with a girl like you. You were a passionate, fleeting distraction from the world, but you could never really be mine. You’re not my kind, and I could never do anything with a brown skinned shiksa for a wife. At least take pride in the fact that you were the only good thing about this wretched town, and know that the only hand writing this is my own as I leave the horrid place of your birth.
Goodbye,
Hershel.”


-
Katalina leaned against a tree, trying to ground herself by staring out into the dark night. Subconsciously she was searching for any flaw in the world that might tell her this was all a horrible dream. Waiting for someone to say that she hadn’t loved a boy so much she went to war for him, only for him to leave her. The comment about her skin made bile rise in her throat. Had she been no more than an exotic toy for him? Just a distraction before he could go back into a polite society? Would she only have held him back? She had heard of this view being perpetuated in the cities and in other parts of the country, but San Ángel had seemed blissfully free of it. Not once had she encountered a fellow townsperson who had said anything hurtful about the shade of her skin. Coming from someone who had faced the same discrimination in his homeland, it somehow stung even worse.
“Care for a light?” A gruff voice asked.
Katalina turned to see a tall man, one of her fellow cadets. Guzmán, his surname was. She had never learned his first. He was a few years older than her, about eighteen or nineteen, and almost as gifted as she was. Currently, he was offering her a cigarette, and had one of his own in his mouth that was already lit.
Katalina nodded and he lit hers with the flame of his own before handing it to her. She inhaled the smoke, which burned her lungs and nose and made her cough it right back out.
“First time?” Guzmán asked. Katalina nodded.
“What are you doing all alone out here? Crying? Toughen up, boy. This is war. We have no time for tears.”
“Tell me to toughen up again and I’ll rip your head off and stick it so far up your ass you can watch me make a canvas of your chest from the inside.” She said coldly.
“You’ve got fire, that’s for sure.” Guzmán chuckled. What happened next, Katalina wasn’t sure if it was due to her own broken heart or the smoke clouding her judgement.
“I have fire in more ways than one, I’ve been told.” She said, shifting closer to him. Guzmán choked on his own smoke and coughed.
“Listen, I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m no sodomite.”
“Of course not. You can keep a secret, can’t you?” For the first time in four months, Katalina dropped the deep voice she had kept on. Guzmán’s smile as only just visible in the dim light of the cigarettes.
“Of course I can.” He said, moving against her and holding her up against the tree. Katalina smiled and ran her fingers through his shortly cropped hair.
“Good.”

Chapter 3

Summary:

Was it war that changed her, or was it love?

Notes:

TW: Internalized Racism, Period Typical Sexism, Implied sexual content (with a teenager), Teenage Pregnancy, Abortion, Outing, Period Typical Homophobia

Chapter Text

It had been a year now. Katalina had turned 16 in the army, and passed training in record time. She had been a foot soldier for about eight months now, and it seemed like she was packing up and changing posts every few weeks. By this point, there was no real use making connections. The faces all blurred together with how much she was moved around, and she knew at least half of them would die before the war was over. No, the public hadn’t heard much, but everyone in the army knew that Mexico would join the ongoing international war within the next year or so. It was only a matter of time and luck before Camacho would inevitably declare war.
That night with Guzmán had been an eye-opener, and soon Katalina found that nights of passion and days of fighting were the only way she could stave off the all-consuming emptiness inside her. The faces of those who she laid with blended together, but she could remember a few names. Alberto, Darío, Diana, Leonardo, Silvia, Rodolfo, Sebastian, Florinda, Esteban, Raul, and Alba were only a few of them, but the ones she kept closest to her shriveled heart.
She wondered about Hershel more than one night as she laid next to a sleeping companion in her tent. Did he leave San Ángel, the town that had given him so much and yet he hated with every part of him? Had he gone somewhere like America, where it was colder? Had he found a new girl with hair like corn silk and skin like snow, everything she could never be? She cursed his name under her breath more than once during a delayed menses, which always ended up coming once she had been thoroughly frightened, and wished her own skin had been white like stars instead of golden brown like the sap of the northern trees she had tried once as a young girl, for then she might not have succumbed to such a sad fate.
-
She crossed paths with her tio Joaquin once, after a year as a foot soldier who was mostly on border patrol and six months as a sublieutenant. He had greeted her with a tight hug, which she had returned while she tried to keep from sobbing into his faded blue coat, the very one she had often worn and nearly drowned in as a child. How big it seemed both then and now.
“You’ve grown up.” He said as they sat together on a park bench in Tijuana and handed her her first hamburger.
“I turn seventeen in three months.” Katalina stated before taking a bite and savoring the taste of the beef and cheese in her mouth.
“That’s not what I mean.” Joaquin said, a weary look in his un-patched eye.
“It’s your eyes. When you were younger, they always had this fire inside them. Hope, I guess you could call it. I can’t see much of that fire inside you now, only embers. Call it rage or resignation.”
“Call it growing up.” Katalina retorted, not looking at him.
“The army will do that to you. Duty is like a beast, it chews you up and then spits you out and leaves you for dead.”
There was silence as Katalina devoured the burger, the first taste of America and the first good food she’d had since she left San Ángel. She wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve.
“Have you been back to town since I left?”
Joaquin nodded.
“Twice.”
“I bet Mamá and Papá have turned my picture around on every wall by now.”
“You know that’s not true. They aren’t angry, they’re concerned. At first they were… well… distraught to say the least. They were worried that the next time they’d see you was in a coffin. Now they’re better, adjusting to your absence, but they’re still concerned. They still have your bed made and everything where you left it. I think they just hope that you’ll come through the doors at least one more time. But I think if they saw what you’ve accomplished, they’d be proud.” Joaquin put his hand on Katalina’s shoulder.
“They ARE proud.”
Katalina had only one other thought.
“What about the Kauffmanns?”
“Moved to Chicago to reunite with family about a year ago. I haven’t heard anything since.”
Katalina nodded. Somehow the ambivalence of her former lover’s fate was better than knowing everything. She stared at her feet in silence.
“Has anyone caught you yet?”
“No. None of the higher ups suspect a thing.”
“Good. Be careful to keep it that way. I know you’re a teenager and you’re going to do teenage stuff, but—“
“I don’t need a sex talk from you, tio.” Katalina said quickly, covering her ears. Joaquin pried her hands away with a sigh.
“I’m just saying to be careful. There’s more than one way you can slip up in that department. Someone might see you changing, someone might rat you out, someone might see you bleeding, or even worse, you might miss a bleeding and end up being sent home with a baby.”
Katalina decided not to tell him about the few scares she’d had.
“I’m warning you now to keep you safe, but if anything happens please write. I’m here for you.” Joaquin said.
‘Yeah, right.’ Katalina thought. ‘Nobody is.’
-
A week after Joaquin’s visit, there was a new arrival at the base. His name was Tristán Alvarez, and from the moment Katalina laid eyes on him, she knew there was an undeniable tension between them.
Tristán was tall, about a head taller than her, with skin dark like cacao beans and black eyes that glimmered like shimmering insects. He was strong, one of the few men at the base to match her in strength and raw talent. Katalina would later find out from the gossip of a red-headed nurse named Dolores that he had nearly beaten her record in the fast-track from cadet to soldier. Dolores was the kind of girl Hershel would like, Katalina thought as the chatty woman bandaged her wrist, sprained from a nasty fight with a pair of Italian spies now that the war was imminent.
She skipped Lieutenant and went straight to Second Captain for this, and in her ceremony she watched Tristán regard her with intense interest and what was either desire or jealousy from the crowd. She snuck him a half a smile before the ceremony continued.
-
Tristán ended up transferring to Chiapas with her and two others from their brigade three weeks later. Katalina couldn’t argue with the decision, but she WAS his superior now and she could at least make use of him.
“What do You say to a sparring match, Alvarez? Test your strength?” She said to him with a coy smile one humid afternoon.
“Just an arm wrestle, all in good fun. Nobody’s beaten me before.
“Am I allowed to refuse, Sir?” Tristán asked with a smile back.
“You may, if you wish.”
“I’ll take you up on that.” He said with a wink that sent blood rushing to Katalina’s face.
“What are the stakes?” He asked as she picked up a barrel and put it in front of him.
“Winner chooses.” Katalina pulled up a stool and sat down, placing her elbow on the stool with her arm in position.
“My kind of game.” He took her by the hand and placed his elbow on the barrel.
“Uno, dos, TRES!” The two began to fight for dominance. Katalina was winning at first, as usual, but then she saw that Tristán’s dark eyes were not focused on their intertwined hands, but on her. In that moment of distraction, Tristán was able to pin her.
“I win.” He said with a triumphant smile. Katalina raised an eyebrow and took her hand away.
“So you have. Bueno, soldado, now what do you want?”
Tristán looked around, making sure they were alone in the sleepy hours of the afternoon, before turning back to Katalina.
“I want you to tell me the truth.” He said in a low voice.
“About what?” The Second Captain asked, heart pounding.
“I know you’re not who you say you are, or rather what you say you are.”
“And what do you think I’m not?”
“A man.”
“And what do you think I am?”
“A woman.”
There was a heavy pause.
“I’ve seen your kind before. Usually, you’re caught long before this point. How did you get so high in the ranks so quickly without being caught?”
“I’ve been careful. I haven’t been clocked unless I want someone to clock me, and I make sure that those who clock me wouldn’t dare to tell.”
“How so?”
Katalina thought for a moment before a smile came over her face.
“Come to my tent at midnight and I’ll show you, soldado.”
“I’ll take you up on that, Capitán Segundo.”
-
They were doomed from the start, but Tristán had made Katalina’s broken heart start to beat again. She spent the day with him forced to obey her every command, and she spent the night fighting him for the control she was so accustomed to. After two years of blurred names and faces, he was the only one whose name she wanted to whisper in the dark hours of the night, and if she’d told him her real name he might have done the same.
“The battlefield isn’t a place for a woman.” Tristán said one morning, kissing Katalina’s shoulder as they laid in her cot. She rolled her eyes.
“Ay, here we go.” She huffed.
“I mean it.” Tristán sat up in bed.
“We don’t have to do this. We don’t have to be here.”
“That would be abandoning our posts, and you know damn well the penalty is higher for me than it is you.”
“Come on, Rafaela, they’ll find out sooner or later and you’ll be kicked out. Why not do it on your own terms—OUR own terms?”
Katalina sat up and grabbed her shirt from the floor.
“We can leave, go back to my town in Michoacán. A beautiful woman like you belongs in the home, on the arm of a strong husband with a child in her own arms.”
“You joined the army because it seemed like some sort of game, the kind children play with wooden soldiers. I joined for the greater good. This little fantasy you have about me being domesticated, I’m nipping it in the bud. I have no interest in domesticity until I have peace.”
“You just don’t get it—“ She turned on him like a wildcat.
“You’re the one who doesn’t get it, Alvarez. There will be no more discussion of this, that is an order from your commander.”
“Yes, Señor.” Tristán said bitterly.
-
Katalina was late two months after her promotion to Capitan Primero. Usually, she had only been scared for a week and a half or so, but there was no denying it now.
“This is our chance for the life we dreamed of.” Tristán said, wrapping his arms around her to place his hands on her stomach. The Captain smacked them away and pushed away from him.
“You mean the life YOU dreamed of. This is not what I want, and I won’t go through with it. I have too much to do.”
“What will you do? Where will you go? There’s nothing you CAN do, Rafaela.”
“A woman has her ways, there’s nothing left to say.”
“Rafaela, don’t make this mistake.” Tristán took her hand as he begged.
“I try to love you, but you make it so hard. Why do you throw away the sanctity of your womanhood, what God gave you?”
Katalina let out a bitter laugh.
“Don’t you bring God into this. Not into my tent, not into my war—because we ARE at war.”
She pushed him away.
“I have a duty to the people. I have a duty to protect and save those under the heel of oppression, and I have a duty to strike down those who oppress them without mercy. I have no duty to you.”
“Rafaela, please don’t do this.”
“It’s Captain Sanchez, don’t you dare dismiss what I’ve accomplished to guilt trip me with a name that my mother never called me unless I was in trouble. I am your superior, Tristán Alvarez, and it’s high time you recognize that.”
She shouted. There was a few moments of breathy, angry silence between the two before Katalina spoke again.
“You are finished here. If I can find it in my heart not to have you discharged for dishonorable conduct, you will be out of this base in two days tops. Understood?”
“Yes, Captain Sanchez.” Tristán said, the gleam in his eyes as dark as ever, and yet colder than before.
-
A tea made of Rue, Artemisia, and Cotton Root Bark was brewed that night, and Katalina drank every last drop with a shot of tequila and no remorse. She woke up in the middle of night only once, relieved by the strong cramps that overtook her body. Her position was safe for now, even if she had to stuff her pants with multiple thick strips of cotton to conceal the bleeding. The only thing that truly hurt her now was her foolish heart once again.
-
It was a day later when she was forcibly grabbed by two men who were supposed to be under her command and brought before the General brigadier.
“What is this?!” She hissed as she was forcibly sat down in a chair in front of him.
“Captain Sanchez, we have reasons to suspect you are not who you say you are.”
“Señor, I have served you for two years and risen in the ranks faster than anyone, you have no reason to not trust me!”
And then, like some divine being was laughing at her, Tristán Alvarez entered the room and stood by the General brigadier, regarding her coldly. Katalina, in that moment, once more felt her heart break to pieces.
“We had Señor Alvarez here taken into custody last night. Apparently one of the other soldiers saw him leave your tent and suspected an…unnatural relationship. Fortunately for us, he was quite cooperative and told us everything, Señorita Sanchez.”
Katalina could feel the world begin to crumble around her.
“Would you like to speak for yourself, niña?” The General brigadier asked, spitting out “niña” like it was the most vile of all words. Katalina looked up at him with contempt.
“My sex is the only thing I have ever lied to you about. My name, while not the one my mother calls me by, is my second name nonetheless. Everything else—my skill, my relation to Captain Mondragon—can’t be faked.
My name is Katalina Rafaela Posada Sanchez, I was born in San Ángel on the twentieth of February, 1925, and I have dreamed of joining the army since I was a child. I was trained in both sword and gun by Captain Joaquin Mondragon Jr. And everything I have just said you can confirm with anyone in San Ángel. You may kick me out, force me to leave, kill me even, but for the rest of your life you will never forget that a young girl was able to climb the ranks of your puny army faster in two years than all of your best men in ten or more.”
There was an uncomfortable moment of tense silence where Katalina’s composure fought back against the tears that threatened to flow from her eyes. It seemed like her fate was sealed, that this was where her life ended. But then, a young man entered the room with a letter.
“Capitan, Señor. We have just received a telegram from the capital. We’re at war, officially, with Japan, Germany, and Italy. The President is demanding the immediate arrival of the best soldiers and commanders.” The man said.
“Gracias, Lieutenant-Colonel Figueroa. You are dismissed.”
The man left, leaving a heavy yet hopeful silence in the room, and Katalina could hear her own shaky breathing in the quiet that surrounded her. Then, after a moment or two, the General spoke.
“No more lies. If you can promise me that, you will leave for Mexico City with the best of your brigade tomorrow at dawn. What do you say, Captain Sanchez?”
Katalina looked up at him, shot a cold glare at Tristán, and looked back.
“It would be my honor.”

Chapter 4

Summary:

War is hell, but Katalina still tries to find beauty.

Notes:

TW: Period Typical Racism, Period Typical Sexism, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Smoking, Minor Character Death, Guns

Chapter Text

America was unlike anything Katalina had seen before. Even with her years in the army, she had never gotten quite used to city life, but it seemed worse in America. It was so loud and busy all the time and the air was heavy with smog. Even in the biggest cities in Mexico there were places to go for fresh air, but there nothing like that in El Paso.
What really bothered Katalina to her core, though, was how dismissive everyone was of her. Both for her sex and the color of her skin, and quite possibly her age too, though she was only about eight months shy of eighteen. There had been many times she had been introduced formally to local military leaders in America, who would look over her in favor of one of her lighter skinned male underlings. Sometimes they couldn’t even look her in the eye.
“So,” started a Major whose nametag read “Whitehall” as he lit a cigar.
“Is this the Mexicans’ idea of a joke? To send the maid dressed as a soldier to talk about war?”
“No sir. I have worked hard for my rank and the respect of my country.” Katalina said, seething but trying to keep her cool.
“Worked hard by Mexican standards, maybe. Ever spent a day in an American workplace?”
“No sir. I didn’t step foot in this country until three days ago.”
“Maybe you could learn something from the American women. Hard workers they are, not like you lot. Go back to base and dress a wound or cook a meal or something. Leave the fighting to the men.”
“With all due respect, if you want my country’s help in this war, I suggest you respect my position as a commanding officer. Unless, of course, you don’t want our help. After all, if we’re so lazy, we might just weigh you down.” She turned her black eyes on him coldly.
“I’ll have to return to Mexico City to tell the President that the United States does not want Mexico’s help after all, and your country will have you to thank for it.”
Major Whitehall’s face turned whiter than it already was.
“No, no. That won’t be necessary. Sit down, we’ll discuss strategy.”
-
Three months later, Katalina sat in a sunny field in the English countryside on the army’s way to London to meet with military officials. The air was cool and clean and the grass was soft under her hands. She turned her face up towards the late morning sun and took in a deep breath of the air around her, her ears full of the sound of the bubbling spring nearby and the song of the birds all around her, the peaceful atmosphere almost blocking out the sound of her men trying to fix the beat up trucks that they were driving to London.
“¡Maldita sea, García! ¡Solo dame la maldita llave inglesa para que pueda arreglar el motor!”
…Almost.
One of her underlings, a soldier by the surname of Romero, approached her.
“Capitan Sanchez, ma’am, are You Alright?” He asked.
“I always loved nature. The sun, the plants, the water. Look at it, Romero. It’s life. Pure, peaceful life. I have yet to see a real battle in this continent, and yet I have faced so much death and destruction. Sometimes I forget the two are intertwined. If people’s lives didn’t depend on me, I’d like to be somewhere like this; quiet and surrounded by nature.”
There was a silence between them that was awkward for Romero and peaceful for Katalina.
“Uh, yes. I was just. Checking in. Wanted to make sure that you were alright. I’ll uh. I’ll leave you be.”
As he walked away, she could have sworn she heard him mutter “fucking women” under his breath. She let it go with the peaceful breeze that blew through her dark hair and the words drowned themselves with the song of the nightingale.
-
In the French countryside, there was a gunshot and the man in front of Katalina fell to the ground, blood and brain matter gushing from his forehead. She put her pistol back in its holster with shaky hands, taking a deep breath.
’It’s okay. Breathe. He deserved it.’ She told herself internally as she looked at her bloody knuckles.
She heard footsteps behind her and twirled around with pistol drawn. The red armband on the man in front of her was all the permission she needed to shoot, and she sent a bullet straight through his throat. The man fell to the ground, blood spilling from his mouth. Katalina went to him and lifted him by his hair to look at him. Their eyes met, and the man spit blood on his hand before shoving his hand directly into her face, covering her brown face with red. Katalina let him go and fall to the ground with a cry before stomping on his chest hard enough to hear his bones and cartilage crack. The gunshots ceased, and Katalina went to work.
-
Katalina showed up to camp with her brigade that evening. In each hand, nearly every Mexican soldier carried the severed head of a German soldier, except for four soldiers who each carried a wrapped body in pairs. The Captain dropped the two heads she carried at the feet of the General she served under.
“You have really got to stop bringing me the heads of your enemies, you savage.” General Diaz sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“The Government demands proof a woman can be a competent soldier. I am just delivering.” Katalina said blankly.
“Well, how many did you take out on your own today?”
“Ten.”
“What happened to your face?”
“Just Nazi scum, painting me as the savage I am before he went to meet his maker… That’s El Diablo.”
“Of course… How many did you lose today?”
“Two. Javier Rubio and Bernardo Torres. I’ll send word to their families.”
“No need. That’s my job. You’ve had a busy week. Go clean yourself up… and for God’s sake get those heads out of my damn sight.”
-
Katalina sat in her tent at her desk, a pen in her hand.
“I knew war would be hard, but this is a lot even for me.” She wrote.
“I hope you’re happier bullfighting, and I hope Mamá can forgive the blood we have on our hands. Love, your sister, Katalina.”
The Captain signed the letter and leaned back in her chair. The Aryan’s “pure” blood had been wiped clean from her face and she had a bandage around her bicep from where a bullet had grazed her, but she still felt like she was on the battlefield covered in grime and blood. There was no beauty here but the death of the oppressors, she thought. Their blood soaking into the ground was the most natural thing, the crimson rivers could be made of rubies for how beautiful they were. Then why did the merciless killing still make her skin crawl?
Katalina laid in her cot quietly that night, but no birds sang or soft winds blew. It could have been limbo for all she knew, she hardly could find any beauty in this place.
-
She was promoted to Major three days later without any fancy ceremony. The Germans had all either fled the area or died, but the peace was momentary. They would be going to another combat zone soon, leaving a few people here just to keep the area clean.
As she packed up her tent, Katalina threw the seeds of poppies into the soil around where she had lived for the past month. Maybe some beauty would grow there, but probably not until she was gone.
“Feliz Cumpleaños, Mayor Sanchez.” One of her soldiers said as they boarded into the transport truck. Against her will, she had once again become a woman in a place devoid of hope. She should have known better, that she could never bring peace or hope. Even with her good yet shattered heart, only death and destruction seemed to follow her. She tried to make her peace with it as she watched the yellow sky from the front seat of the vehicle that drove bumpily along the country roads.
-
In Orleans, Katalina spent the night with a salt-and-pepper haired woman named Henriette.
“You still have fire deep down in there somewhere.” Henriette said, smoking a cigar.
“What makes you say that?” Katalina asked, playing with the ends of her quickly growing hair.
“Even in hell, you still have something to prove. You still look for the beauty in the world, which is why you came to me.” Henriette blew smoke away from Katalina.
“Others weaker would have blown their own brains out by now.” The older woman grabbed Katalina’s cheeks and turned her head to face her.
"Don't ever let them take that fire from you, girl. Find something or someone that will fuel it and give you peace."
Henriette kissed Katalina with a mouth that tasted of tobacco, and the Major attempted to drown out the blood and death with the curved body and heated passion of a woman's touch. She would surely kill again tomorrow, but with a hooker’s lips on her neck it was easy to forget that just for a moment.

Chapter 5

Summary:

Katalina takes a young soldier under her wing.

Notes:

TW: Minor Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Period Typical Ableism (?), Guns, Smoking

Chapter Text

Time can either fly or pass slowly on the battlefield. Katalina received her highest rank two months after her nineteenth birthday and the day after was shipped off to Switzerland to take charge of another brigade.
“You know, Colonel, you’re the second youngest to achieve this rank, just behind ‘el coronel Robles’.” The pilot of the small fighter jet she was passenger in told her.
“My tio said his father fought alongside him. I have a lot to live up to.”
“You have already done much in your short time in the army. From what I hear from the British spies, the Germans call you ‘Dame des sicheren Todes’.”
“What does that mean?”
“Lady of certain death.”
As Katalina looked out the window at the green below, the thought of her informal title made her both proud and sick to her stomach.
-
Katalina looked out over her new troops to inspect the batch. Most of them were men around her age, with a few older, and fewer yet were younger. She walked along, looking at the row of stiff, saluting men who were afraid to move even a single muscle until she came to one row where she stopped.
“Captain Vasquez?” She regarded her underling who had been showing her around.
“Sí, Coronela?”
“Who is the short one here?” She gestured to a short soldier whose helmet covered his eyes. The Captain looked at the name tag on his uniform.
“I believe this is Fernando Mendosa-Quintanilla, Coronela.” Captain Vasquez said, taking off the soldier’s helmet.
“But the other soldiers call him Nandito.”
“Of course they would. This is a child, Capitan. Do you expect me to be a teacher? A nursemaid? I came here for war.” Katalina said, digging into Vasquez. And then, like a moment equally cursed and blessed, Katalina saw the soldier clearly for the first time and her speech faltered.
Nandito, as he was called, was a small boy with olive skin and brown hair that fell in front of half his face. His visible eye, round and hazel, was innocent and full of determination. For a moment, Katalina could almost see another in his place.
“How old are you, Quintanilla?” She asked.
“It’s Mendosa-Quintanilla, Coronela. The full name. And I am fif…” He quickly thought better of lying.
“I am thirteen, Coronela.”
The other soldiers around him side eyed him, and at least two pairs that Katalina could see not-so-discreetly exchanged a few francs.
“Captain, have this boy sent back home to Mexico. I can’t have children in my army.” Katalina said.
“No! please Coronela!”
“You dare to speak to your colonel that way, niño?!” Captain Vasquez shouted, grabbing Nandito by the collar and roughly yanking him forward.
“Captain!” Katalina snapped, pushing the Captain away from the boy and taking the latter under her arm.
“Have you no compassion? I specifically want the boy sent home because I don’t want him to get hurt on the battlefield. I don’t need you to scare him to death before I can send him back to his mother.”
“Por favor, Coronela Sanchez. I’m sorry I lied about my age. But this is the only way I can get money for my mother and sister without stealing.” Nandito pleaded. Katalina looked down at him.
“And what about your father?”
“He died two years ago. Polio, Coronela.”
“Does your mother not work?”
“She had the same. She survived but she cannot walk, and my sister is only five.”
“Why not get a job at the grocer’s or the butchers?”
Nandito pushed his hair out of his face to reveal a giant, discolored birthmark that covered his other eye and a good chunk of his forehead.
“The army was the only one who didn’t call me hijo del diablo for my face.”
Katalina sighed, her shattered heart softening the more she looked at him. Thirteen years old and so mature, the same age that her own Félix would be now. Ay, how long had it been since she had last seen him? It must have been about four years since she’d left him in the middle of the night with only a sisterly kiss on the temple that he never felt in his slumber. Except for the eyes, Nandito even looked somewhat like him. God, she missed home. She turned to the Captain.
“Is there any way I could transfer some of my pension to the boy?” She asked.
“No, Coronela.” Captain Vasquez said defeatedly.
“Then forget my last order. The boy stays under the condition that he becomes my apprentice. Have his things moved to my tent.”
“Yes, Coronela.”
Katalina turned back to Nandito, who was looking up at her with wide eyes.
“I went to bat for you, manito. I don’t usually take anyone as an apprentice. Do not disappoint me.”
“Y-Yes Coronela.” He said. Katalina turned to the rest of the soldiers.
“Don’t think I’ll go easy on you! Vamo! Vamo! Back to work! This is war, not a beauty contest!” She shouted, only for everyone to immediately heed her instructions and scatter off.
’Oh yeah’ she thought. ’I can work with this.’
-
“Where do you come from?” Katalina asked, removing her boots before bed that night. It was the first words she’d actually spoken to Nandito since that afternoon.
“S-San Miguel, Coronela. In the mountains.”
“You don’t have to use the formalities in private. Nobody’s going to punish you. It’s nice to take a break at night to just be human.”
“S-Sure.” He said, sitting cross-legged on his cot. There was a pause between them for a moment.
“Was it nice in the mountains?”
“Sí. Quiet. There was a wave of influenza before I was born, so there wasn’t a lot of people. It’s gotten more people in the past few years though, mostly gringos who like the old buildings.”
“My town was quiet like that too. I never thought I’d miss the quiet this much.”
“Where do you come from?”
“San Ángel, in the desert.”
“You mean the town that defeated the Bandit King Chakal?!” His face lit up. Katalina smiled, her first genuine smile in a long time.
“Yep! That was my parents and my uncle!”
“That’s amazing! No wonder you’re one of the best in the army!”
“They think I’m the best?”
“Back home, before I came, you were a legend in the country. The second youngest colonel and the first woman colonel in the history of the entire country.”
“Really?”
“You didn’t know?”
“I haven’t been back to Mexico for two years. I’ve been over here this whole time fighting the bad guys.
“You’re really cool.” Nandito said with admiration. Katalina chuckled.
“That’s sweet. Now get some sleep. You have first patrol tomorrow.”
The boy fell asleep quickly soon after but she laid there awake, her heart feeling a little more alive for the first time in years.
-
Nandito fired his pistol and the force of the gunshot send him stumbling a little.
“Plant your feet in the ground like you’re a big tree, Nandito.” Katalina instructed.
“Then you won’t get knocked back when you’re fighting the enemy.”
“Coronela, I thought you said this was the enemy.” Nandito said.
“I said shoot at it like it’s the enemy. It’s still a sandbag target.”
“I hit it near the target this time, though.”
“You did, and you would have gotten closer if you hadn’t flinched. Reload quickly like a German soldier is about to jump you, and then shoot again.”
Nandito heeded her instructions and shot at the sandbag again, this time hitting closer to the center of the target.
“Bueno! Bueno!” Katalina smiled widely.
“While you didn’t hit him directly in the forehead, you still blew half his face off. Great work, Nandito. I’ll make a soldier of you yet. Go take five.”
“Gracias, Coronela.” Nandito put the safety on his gun and put it in its holster before going to take his break. Katalina watched him leave with a heart full of pride. She wouldn’t let the battlefield crush his spirit if she could help it.
-
“Who’s this ‘Carlotta’?” Katalina teased, looking at the envelope that had come for Nandito.
“Coronela, Please.” The boy was red in the face.
“A special lady back home?”
“No.”
“Then Why is there a heart next to your name on this envelope?”
“Please just let me have my letter.”
“I just tease, camarón. Here.” She handed him the envelope and he hurriedly opened it.
“You have to tell me about your girlfriend sometime, though. I want to know if she’s fit to be with my protégé.”
“Yes Coronela.” Nandito said absentmindedly, reading through the letter. In his eyes, Katalina could see the same feeling from all those years ago when she would receive letters from Hershel. She hadn’t thought about her old love in a while, and her hardened heart began to ache a little more.
-
“You going to tell me about this Carlotta now?” Katalina asked that night.
“She’s my girlfriend. I just didn’t want to say anything in front of the others.”
“Good on you, chamaco. What does she look like?” Nandito took a folded up photo out of his breast pocket and handed it to Katalina.
“She sent me this Today, so I decided to keep it close to my heart.”
In the picture, Carlotta was a dark skinned young girl of Afro-Mexican heritage. She had a nice smile and braided hair tied back into a bun with a polka-dotted cloth.
“She’s sweet looking.” Katalina said.
“You got lucky.”
“She says when the war is over and I come home we’ll get married.”
“You’re pretty young. Is that what you want?”
“I know what I want. I want to be strong so I can provide for the people I love. Carlotta, my mother, and my sister Imelda until she gets a husband.”
“You have a good heart, Nandito. Don’t let them take that from you, alright?”
“My heart belongs to my loved ones. They have it, not me.”
-
“Nandito?” Katalina shook her protégé by the shoulders. He had a vacant, horrified look in his eyes that Katalina knew all too well. Six months had passed since Katalina had first taken control of this brigade, six months had passed since she swore to protect this child, and now after six months Nandito had just killed his first enemy.
“Nandito, come back to me, hermano. It’s me. Es tu Coronela.” She said. When it became clear he wasn’t responding, she took her flask of cold spring water, opened it, and poured it over his head. He came back with a gasp.
“There we are. Its okay. I know it’s scary the first time—“
“I just killed someone…” He whispered.
“Yes, I know. You killed an enemy scout.”
“I just…” His eyes welled up with tears.
“No llores, manito. This is no place for tears. Do not let them see you—“ Before Lina could finish, Nandito burst into tears. Katalina sighed and hugged him tightly. Sometimes it was hard to remember he was still basically a baby, only a month shy of his fourteenth birthday.
“I’ve got you. No one’s gonna hurt you.” She said, praying it wasn’t a lie.
That night she smoked a cigarette outside her tent as Nandito slept like a rock, and prayed for forgiveness for the failure of her task. Another heart nearly lost on the battlefield, and a little bit of Katalina’s repairing heart broke back off again.

Chapter 6

Summary:

The war ends for Katalina

Notes:

TW: Mentions of Drug Use, Minor Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death

Chapter Text

Katalina had lived two decades now, and a quarter of those had been spent in the army. She celebrated her 20th birthday without much fanfare, the only gift she received being a squashed chocolate croissant from Nandito.
“Sorry, it got smushed in my pocket.” He said as he handed it to her in the privacy of their shared living quarters. Katalina smiled as she accepted the flaky pastry.
“Thank you, manito. You’re sweet.”
“Why don’t you tell the others it’s your birthday? They like you a lot, have a lot of respect for you.”
“I haven’t really celebrated my birthday since my quince. I’m a twin, it feels wrong celebrating without my sister.”
“Where is she?”
“Back in Mexico. She’s a bullfighter, selling out stadiums all across the country. She even has a show in Honduras in a few weeks.”
“My tio Oscar is from Honduras, deep in the jungle. He didn’t see a city until he came to Mexico to visit my mother with my tia Gabriela. I’d like to visit him with Carlotta some day, when the war is over.”
“We may be advancing now, but I’ve spent five years fighting. Sometimes it feels like this war never has an end, and I’ll be fighting until the day I die.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t you dream of a life outside the war? Don’t you ever want to go home and have a family?”
She sighed.
“I used to, when I was your age. You know, I first came to fight because the first boy I loved was a German Jew. He was pushed out of his country by the enemy and thought he could never go back home. It made him so sad, so I decided to join the army and fight for him, to make the world a better place for him.” Katalina chuckled a little.
“I never thought I’d come as far as I have. I have sacrificed so much and been sacrificed for others’ gain many times. I hope that one day I won’t have to sacrifice any more. I have this silly dream that one day someone will sacrifice for me instead.” Katalina decided to shut herself up by taking a bite of her birthday croissant, a part of her mind making that silly wish as she took the first bite.
“Well,” Nandito said with a smile.
“You don’t ever have to sacrifice for me, okay?” He reassured her. Katalina smiled a little.
“That’s very kind, Hermanito, but don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“I don’t. That’s why I promised Carlotta I’d marry her, I promised my mamá and little sister that I’d provide for them, and why I’m promising you that I’m not gonna use you like that. You’re like a big sister to me, Colonela.”
“…Thank you, Nandito. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you but… I’m very proud of you.” She took his hand.
“However, next time you want to get me a present, I think I’d prefer some opium.”
Nandito laughed.
“The croissant is good, but I need something to last me a little longer, bueno?”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Nandito chuckled.
-
Eleven days later, Katalina led her troops through the Black Forest. British intelligence had informed the allied forces that there was a German encampment in the forest and Mexico’s own secretary of defense had recommended Katalina’s brigade for the job for their known ruthlessness and the fear that enemy soldiers held of the legendary “Lady of Certain Death” that led them. The order given to the infantry of 200 men was simple; shoot on sight and take any survivors as prisoners.
The snow fell around them and turned the world black and white, the only sounds that could be heard were the soft crunching of the infantry’s footsteps and the occasional soft clunking sound of a gun scraping against something. The world was quiet, too quiet. Normally, Katalina took comfort in the silence, but today it turned the pit of her stomach.
They came across what appeared to be the enemy camp, but it was empty.
“They must have left, run away like dogs with tails between their legs.” Said a large soldier whose uniform read “Garcia”. Katalina wasn’t so sure as she looked around the camp.
“No. See, there are no footprints in the snow. There was a thaw a week and a half ago, and if they had been here when it started snowing again three days ago, there would be footprints.” Said Katalina, assessing the scene. Then, as she heard the clinking sound of a gun, a horrible idea dawned on her.
“…The mission… It was given to us four days ago.” Her blood ran cold.
“We’ve been double crossed! This is—“
Before Katalina could finish, a gunshot was fired from the trees and struck Garcia through the head, killing him before he could even hit the ground. Her worst fears were realized; she had led 200 of her best men straight into an enemy ambush.
“Draw and fire!” She commanded, and the once quiet forest became absolute hell.
There was gunshots and fistfights everywhere. The blood of both Mexicans and Germans alike stained the snow, tainting the once monochrome environment with red. German soldiers shot from the trees and even jumped from the trees to the ground to get more close action. Men from both sides dropped like flies, but from what Katalina could see the Germans had prepared and had twice as many men as her.
Katalina loaded her gun after using up a round and prepared to shoot at an enemy soldier, but was shot in the wrist from another side. The bullet went through her carpal and out the other side, staining the snow and her uniform with blood. Her right hand rendered useless, Katalina attempted to keep on fighting while holding back a cry of pain. She scanned the situation quickly and flipped through every possible scenario in her mind. There was only one that ensured the best possible chance of survival. Katalina resigned herself and started to give the command. This was for the best, even if she had to force Nandito to break his promise.
“Men! Retreat! Go back to camp and—“ There was a gunshot that seemed louder than all the others and a sickening sound from behind her that sent shivers down her spine.
“VAMO! VAMO! RETREAT! I WILL BUY YOU TIME!” She shouted, sending her men running back towards the base while they shot at any soldiers in their way. She took a deep breath, for no matter what happened to her, at least no more of her men would die. At least Nandito would get to grow up.
“C-Coronela?” A soft voice whimpered from behind her. Katalina’s blood ran cold. She turned around to find her youngest soldier and closest friend standing with his hand to his chest, trying to hold back the blood blossoming across his shirt.
Katalina ran towards Nandito, shooting at a German soldier who aimed his gun at her and sending a bullet through his nose. Nandito’s legs started to buckle, and Katalina caught him before he hit the frozen earth, though the impact sent her to the ground.
“C-Coronela?” Nandito whimpered as Katalina moved his hands from his chest. It was as she had feared. She had sworn to protect this boy’s heart from the world, and she had quite literally failed. The dying boy clutched her wrist.
“Hey, Hey. Calmate, mi soldado. You were so brave.” She reassured him, fighting off tears.
“L-Lo siento… Lo siento…” The boy sobbed. Katalina felt a bullet strike her in the shoulder and winced in pain, but held on tightly to her littlest comrade.
“Ssssshhhh. It’s okay Nandito. It’s going to be okay.” She smoothed his hair out of his face as best as she could with her crippled hand.
“I-I b-broke my promise.” He cried, blood trickling from his mouth.
“No, no you didn’t. Right now, I am taking you home. You will see your mother and Imelda again, and Carlotta too. Those noises you hear, they’re not gunshots. It’s the train, it’s very noisy.”
“L…Lina?” He breathed out, and Katalina choked back tears at the first time he had ever called her by her name.
“Sí?”
“I…It’s late, isn’t it?” A bullet hit Katalina in the arm, and she once again hid her pain.
“Because it’s dark…”
“Yes. It’s late.”
“I…I want to sleep. Can I sleep? And you can wake me up when we get to San Miguel?”
“Rest now, mi niño. I’m gonna be right here, always right here. No matter what.”
The light faded from Fernando Mendosa-Quintanilla’s hazel eyes, and he went limp in Katalina’s arms, his hand falling from her wrist and landing in the snow. Tears falling down her face, she closed his eyes and kissed his still-warm forehead, right on his birthmark.
“Te quiero, mi hermano.” She whispered.
Then, a gunshot was fired, one Katalina would remember for the rest of time. A large bullet, the largest on the market, entered her stomach and tore through her organs with a violent pain before severing through her spine. There was a single moment that seemed to pass in slow motion where Katalina sat there with Nandito still in her arms before she felt herself fall back into the red snow. Her lower half and her arms now rendered truly useless, Nandito rolled out of her arms into the snow as well.
Katalina laid there in the snow in a dreamlike state. Upon deciding there was no one left alive for them to kill, the German soldiers left, laughing and singing their foreign songs as they marched back towards their real camp. Once again, the forest became quiet.
Katalina laid in the snow for hours, the cold flakes melting on her cooling skin and the pain of her final wound only growing by the minute. The young Colonel knew that even if her troops came back with reinforcements, there was no saving her. She could feel the contents of vital organs pouring out of their places, the acid of her punctured stomach burning her like white fire as it only sped up the inevitable. Still, it took long excruciating hours. A few winter birds sang, and Katalina could hear the snow kiss the earth where it fell.
She reminisced on her life. She remembered the warmth of her home, not just the temperature of the desert but the love of her family.
She remembered being a little girl and her father teaching her how to play his guitar, a hand-carved and painted one made by her mother as a present long ago. Maybe if she had had the time to grow up, she could have become a great musician like him.
She remembered that when she had a bad day, her mother would bring her into her studio and the two of them would spend hours making a painting together. Sometimes Mireya joined in after a hard day as well, though she was more of the kind who needed destruction to get out her anger. Their mother would put her to work chopping vegetables or weeding the garden.
Ay, the garden. How could she forget the gardens? Her earliest memory, after all, was of her mother’s gentle hands guiding her own to plant the seeds of flowers in the rich soil.
”Well done, mija. Come on, let’s pick up the watering can, so the flowers can grow big and strong.”
Those mixed flowers they had planted had lasted in the same patch for Katalina’s entire life at home. Maybe they had died when she left, or maybe her mother kept lovingly tending to them for a daughter who would never come back. Maybe some of their seeds would be scattered around her grave.
She remembered Mireya, her closest friend from before the beginning. Ay, how they’d grown apart as they grew older. Now, laying there in the snow, she wished she could go back. She wished she could hug her twin a little tighter, spend more time with her, fight with her less. She remembered their lifelong promise.
”No matter what, you will always be my sister.”
Katalina agreed with that even now. Even in a few hours when she would surely be gone, even in a few weeks when her body would arrive back in Mexico and returned to her family, even when they laid her in the ground, she would be Mireya’s sister.
She remembered her tio Joaquin, and their last meeting. He had promised her that he would be there for her, that all she had to do was ask. She had never taken him up on that. But now as she asked the universe for a miracle in that moment, for a familiar face to lead her gently into the dark like she had for Nandito, he didn’t come.
As her vision began to fade, she thought of Nandito and Félix. She had attached to the former for he was a vision to her. A vision of the little brother she’d left behind and loved so dearly. Félix would nearly be a man by now, he was the same age as Nandito. By looking at Nandito, such a brave, kind young man with a pure and courageous heart, she could see a glimpse of what her own Félix might have become in her absence.
She remembered being a little girl before Félix was born. She and Mireya had spent many afternoons cuddled up to their mother’s growing belly, gently tapping against her blouse and talking to their unborn sibling.
She remembered the day Félix was born, a sweltering night in August. She and Mireya had been sent to their abuelo’s house for the duration of the birth, and they had hated every second of it. The only solace Katalina had taken was listening to his war stories and admiring the many artifacts of his time as a soldier. But the morning after, they were able to return home. The two of them had sat squished together with a pillow on their lap and tiny Félix had been placed on the pillow for them to hold. The wrinkled stranger had clutched onto Katalina’s index finger in the same way Nandito had clutched onto her wrist as he died, and she knew she would protect him.
With her vision black and her other senses failing, Katalina remembered not the trauma, but the sweet nights with her many lovers. She remembered dancing at her Quince with Hershel and receiving a chaste kiss on the lips from the boy she had given everything for. She remembered the way Tristán had held her in his strong arms, like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. She remembered countless blurred kisses from lovers who were never quite serious, but she had still enjoyed nonetheless.
There was no bad memories here, only warmth and comfort. A time where she didn’t have to sacrifice everything. A time where nobody sacrificed her for their own convenience. A tear rolled down her cheek and froze in her dark hair, and Katalina closed her eyes. It was night, judging by how dark and quiet it was, and all she wanted to do was rest just for a little while.
-
A candle in another realm blew out, and Katalina Sanchez died there in the snow.

Chapter 7

Summary:

You can take a soldier out of the war, but never the war out of a soldier.

Notes:

TW: Panic Attacks, Smoking, Mentions of Minor Character Death

Chapter Text

Katalina’s eyes opened but she gave no gasp of air. She laid on hard ground looking up at a sky of darkened blue where no stars could be seen, and instead of snow felt dry dirt under her fingers. The pain was all gone and she reached tentatively for her stomach for her wound, wondering if somehow it had healed up a little after she’d fallen asleep.
Before her fingers could meet the fabric, someone came into view and quickly pulled her sitting up into a tight hug.
“Ay mija, it’s so good to have you here. Mi preciosa.” An unfamiliar woman’s voice cried.
“Wha-“
“Wepa, so you finally decide to join us, Lina.” A man’s voice exclaimed. Katalina looked around as more figures came into her line of sight and found that to her horror she was surrounded by skeletons. The woman hugging her separated from her and she was also a skeleton, one in a colorful dress with a white streak in her dark hair. In contrast to the forest she had been in, the world burst with color in every seam so much that it hurt Katalina’s eyes. She had heard of a place like this in a bedtime story as a child and the thought and the faces of the skeletons surrounded her sent an arrow of horror through her heart.
The Land of the Remembered.
“Lina?” The woman kneeling beside her grew concerned. Katalina shakily brought her hands into her line of sight, fearing the inevitable. Sure enough, when she looked at her trembling hands, she found them made of none other than hard bone.
She had died.
The crowd of people seemed to close in around her and their voices became muffled, but from the little she could comprehend the woman in front of her seemed to try to be getting them to back off. She reached out to touch Katalina’s cheek with a bony hand, and the Colonel screamed.
-
There was a gentle knock on the door of a new, quiet room.
“Lina, it’s me.” Carmen’s voice called softly through the wood. 
“Adelante.” Katalina said quietly.
Two days had passed since Katalina had arrived in the land of the remembered, and she hadn’t left the small room her Abuela had prepared for her ever since she’d first stepped foot in it. The door and shutters were kept closed at all times, keeping the bright world outside from creeping into the tiny safe haven Katalina had, the soft browns and the golden light of the oil lamp giving her the comforts of home. Abuela Carmen, as she later recognized her after her initial meltdown, went to great lengths to help her granddaughter adjust to this new world.
Carmen pushed open the door and made her way into the small room with a tray of food.
“I made churros. A little bird told me it was your favorite, and a little bird told me that you grew up with my recipe.” She said, sitting on the bed in front of Katalina, who was sitting hunched up against the wall as usual. Katalina said nothing, her eyes downcast and dull. Carmen sighed and moved the tray aside to scootch closer to her granddaughter.
“I know it’s hard. It’s an adjustment at first, and I was no better off than you are when I first arrived.”
“Did you have your spine severed and spend hours laying on the ground bleeding to death?” Katalina mumbled.
“No. No, I did not.”
“Then you were better off.” Katalina buried her head in her arms.
“Your physical injuries, the ones that killed you, are gone in this realm, mija. But the emotional ones… Those are going to stay for a while. All I can say to help you is that it may be hard now, but the pain will subside. It gets better.”
Carmen reached out to gently caress her granddaughter’s hair, and Katalina looked up at her. There was a moment of silence before Katalina moved out of the corner and crawled to her Abuela’s side to cuddle against her. The older woman smelled like flowers and though she was bone, her embrace around Katalina felt as warm and comforting as the arms of her mother.
“You should eat, it will give you some of your strength back.” Carmen said, running her fingers through Katalina’s hair.
“How can I eat? I don’t have a stomach anymore.”
“I… don’t actually know. But I know it will make you feel better.” Carmen reached over to the tray and picked up a cinnamon-sugar churro before dipping it in some chocolate sauce and handing it to her granddaughter. Katalina took the churro and took a hesitant bite.
The sweet flavors of the pastry filled her mouth and reminded her of the churros her family made back home.
”It’s your Abuela’s recipe. The best you’ll ever eat.” Her father had always told her and Mireya, and usually followed up with
”And your mother has a knack for making them.” as he gave his wife a flirty grin.
Katalina took more bites of the churro, savoring the flavor in her mouth and regaining some of her lost energy. But the more she ate the more it sank in that she would never go home again. She would never have that again. Tears began to fall down her face, and soon she was fully sobbing while still eating.
“Ay, Lina.” Carmen held her granddaughter as she cried.
“It’s okay, Mija. I’ve got you.”
-
Katalina left her room for the first time the next day.
“Just take it one step at a time, alright? The Sanchez family is pretty lively, but everyone knows you’ve been through a lot. They’ll give you your space if they know what’s good for you.” Carmen tried to comfort her. Katalina nodded as her abuela led her down the stairs to the courtyard.
In the courtyard of the Sanchez Villa, where Katalina had woken up a few days ago, a tall man in a green matador uniform practiced on a straw bull. He turned away distracted when he saw Carmen and smiled.
“Look who decided to join us.” Carmen smiled back, gesturing to Katalina, who held onto her abuela’s arm.
“Buenos Dias, Lina.” The man said warmly, his voice Katalina recognizing as the second one to greet her when she awoke in the land of the remembered. He took her hand to shake it.
“You probably don’t know me but I’m—“
“My Abuelo Carlos. I’ve heard stories, and your picture was in the hallway outside my room.” She finished with a smile, shaking his hand. Carlos’s face lit up.
“You do remember!” He pulled her into a tight hug.
“It’s so good to see you, mi niña! You’ve grown up so much, so beautiful like your grandmother.”
“Ay, Carlos.” Carmen rolled her eyes.
“Be gentle with the poor girl, she’s been through a lot.” She chided, but Katalina hugged her abuelo back as tight as she could.
“Ha! And so strong, too! You’re a Sanchez, alright!” He laughed as they separated.
“It’s…It’s nice to see a familiar face after so long.” She said with a sad smile. Carlos sighed and put his hand on her shoulder.
“I know it’s hard at first, but it gets better. I promise it does. Just remember if you need anything, your family is here for you.”
The words made Katalina momentarily think of what her tio Joaquin had said to her all those years ago.
”If anything happens, I’m here for you.”
She nodded.
“Of course. Thank you abuelo.”
“Come on, Mija. Why don’t we get you some breakfast?” Carmen suggested.
“Sounds good.” Katalina went back to her position on Carmen’s arm as she was led to the kitchen by her abuela. As they walked away, Carmen turned her head back to look at her husband and give him an excited thumbs up. So far, everything was going well.
-
Katalina soon settled in to her new routine and home. Within three weeks she was an active member of La Familia Sanchez, able to spend time with her long dead relatives in an amicable manner. However, her struggles were far from over.
Though Katalina’s time spent with her family was full of warmth and laughter, when she was alone she felt empty. There was no army needed here, for the realms of the dead had been at peace for many years. She had dedicated so much of her life to fighting that now she felt purposeless. It felt like floating in the middle of the ocean with no raft, ship, or island on sight. For the first time in years she had absolutely no responsibility or duty, and the very thought of it killed her.
At night, once she had gotten more bold, she would sneak out of her family’s villa to the city and there she would partake in the sins that had kept her going in the land of the living. Tobacco and Opium weren’t the same without lungs that blackened and clouded from their smoke, and the sins of flesh were hard to commit without true flesh. There were supplements provided, of course. In a magical realm like the land of the dead, there are always options that could give Katalina a body of sugary flesh for an hour or two, but she could no longer bask in the afterglow when she was done. It all melted away too quickly and left Katalina as much of a shell as she had been before she had taken to a stranger’s bed. No matter what, it was all the same. She would always end up back in her bed crying until she fell asleep, and even in sleep she wasn’t safe from the images of blood and bones and fire that seemed permanently seared into her soul.
-
“I don’t trust the others who say it gets better. I’ve been here two months and it hasn’t gotten better. I need it from someone who’s been in the same situation.” Katalina muttered, lighting a cigarette.
“Any way we can help, Prima.” Her cousin Adelita said, reaching for the lit match to light her own cigarette, which Katalina handed to her.
“It does get better, after a while.” Scardelita said after taking a drag of her own cigarette.
“But, it takes a long time, and I mean a really long time.”
“That’s not helpful.” Katalina grumbled.
“Talking about it helps. Even if it’s not to anyone. I mean, I don’t think you know anyone down here anyway. You’re so young.” Adelita added.
Katalina was quiet for a moment. The twins looked at each other and then back to her.
“You do, don’t you?!” They exclaimed in unison.
“It’s not important.”
“Yeah, it totally is!” Adelita said.
“You’ve got someone here who’s been through the same stuff as you, someone who’s not still a stranger like your family. If you can count on them, you two are all set.”
“Come on, tell us.” Scardelita prodded. If Katalina had blood, she would have turned a bright crimson color.
“I…I don’t think—“
“It helps more than you’d think to connect with other people.” Adelita said.
“I can’t put that on him.”
“He? Is he an ex boyfriend? We’ve been there before.” Scardelita teased.
“God! No!”
“Who is he?” The twins asked in unison once more.
“One of my underlings, now callate!” Katalina snapped. The twins went quiet and the former colonel sighed.
“His name is Nandito, and he died only a few hours before I did. I got him killed because I took him under my wing and I allowed him to stay in the army.” Katalina took a drag of her cigarette upon finishing.
“He was only fourteen, and he’s miles away from here. He’s from San Miguel, and that’s just about two days on foot. He’s better off with his family, without a reminder of his human life. The one I ruined.”
There was quiet for a moment before Scardelita spoke.
“I’m sure he doesn’t think that.”
“La cíclope here is right.” Adelita said.
“Lamento haber recibido esa bala por ti todos los días de mi existencia.”
Katalina and Adelita laughed.
“You guys make me miss my own twin sister. I haven’t seen her in years. There was a time where I thought that I couldn’t miss her… I was wrong.”
“You’ll get to see Mireya again, prima.” Adelita told her.
“Easy for you to say, you guys died together.”
“And you’ll get to see your friend again too.” Scardelita said.
“But I got him killed. I don’t think he even knows I’m dead.”
The twins looked at each other and then back to Katalina.
“You wanna hear how I got Scardelita almost killed once?” Adelita asked. Katalina raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, we were in a pretty gnarly battle in the revolution and she got in between me and a bullet.”
“That’s how I lost my eye. Sin embargo, when certain ungrateful people call me things like ‘La cíclope’, I wish I had just let the bullet go through her head.” Scardelita stared pointedly at her twin with her good eye.
“Oh come on. You would be bored without me around to shake things up.”
“Whatever, I got you back. I got us both killed.”
“Oh?” Katalina’s curiosity was piqued.
“It was my idea for us to bodyguard Zapata during a scouting mission. We were ambushed and both sacrificed our lives for Zapata.”
“And you forgave her?” Katalina asked Adelita, who shrugged in response.
“Nothing to forgive. Death is just the next stage of life. I’m just glad I got to face it with my sister.”
They were all quiet for a moment as Katalina put out her burned down cigarette.
“Do you guys still have nightmares? About the revolution?”
“We do.” Scardelita said.
“But they were more frequent right after we first got here.” Adelita followed up.
“They don’t ever really go away, but you have them less and less as time goes on.”
“Again, talking about it helps. Even if you’re not talking to anyone in particular.”
“You know what DOESN’T help?” Scardelita grinned.
“On three. One, two, three—“
“Fireworks.” The twins said in unison.
“You’ll only hear those on major holidays though. Even with the everyday fiestas.” Adelita said.
“Just tie your pillow around your head.” Scardelita suggested.
“Then when tio Jorge shouts at us for throwing tomatoes at his suit of armor, we can’t hear him!”
Katalina laughed.
“That does sound fun. I know a few guys who need to get pelted with tomatoes. Once they get down here, maybe.”
“Totally down for that, prima.” Adelita said. In that moment, Katalina felt a little more seen. She hadn’t felt true camaraderie since she’d lost Nandito, but maybe her cousins were right. Maybe it would get better over time.
-
Katalina took to scattering seeds everywhere she could think to do so. Flowers, herbs, fruits, and vegetables alike. Making her room her own, she filled it with cacti and succulents and ivies and jungle flowers. Methodically tending to the only living things in this realm was the only way Katalina could keep the emptiness at bay.
’Maybe if I nurture life, it could make up for all the blood on my hands.’ She reasoned as she watered the potted bromeliad on her dresser.
’They won’t know me as the lady of certain death any longer.’

Chapter 8

Summary:

Dia De Los Muertos is a magical time of year

Chapter Text

Dia De Los Muertos came eight and a half months after the death of Katalina Sanchez. She was rudely awoken to the sound of fireworks and loud music, which sent her tumbling out of bed and onto the floor in such a state of confusion that her skull detached from the rest of her body.
“Jesús Christo.” She muttered as she reattached her head to her neck. But then she smiled and went to her closet to put on her uniform, for today she would see her family for the first time in years.
-
It turned out seeing her family had to wait. It was still morning, and during the day the Sanchez family made their way to the castle of the ruler of the land before they went to the land of the living to see their loved ones.
“We’ve always been the favorites of La Muerte.” Tio Jorge explained.
“At least the bullfighters, that is.”
“She likes the soldiers too.” Abuela Anita followed up with.
“The way we flirt with death.” Jorge embellished.
“That’s why there’s so many of us down here.” Carmen said dryly. She turned to Katalina and put her hands on her shoulders, pressing her stiff bones down firmly.
“Ay, don’t be so nervous, mija.”
“You’re bringing me to see a literal goddess and you expect me to keep calm?”
“Of course you have to be polite, but if there’s one goddess who you’re the least likely to make an enemy of, it’s La Muerte.”
“Unless you’re her husband.” Scardelita muttered, causing Adelita to laugh. Carmen smacked her niece’s forearm.
“We go over this every year. Don’t make fun of Xibalba where he can hear it.” Carlos said to them.
“Carlos!”
“I mean, don’t make fun of him. He’s still a god.” Carlos corrected himself.
“We’ve arrived. Welcome to La Muerte’s Castle.” Carmen said, gesturing to the intricate palace for Katalina. She stared up at the structure, awestruck by the majesty of it. Carmen smiled.
“Come on, mija. La Muerte will love you.”
-
La Muerte was waiting for the Sanchez family when they arrived in the banquet hall. Katalina held onto her Abuela’s arm as she took in all the sights and colors that overwhelmed her.
“Welcome, La familia Sanchez.” La Muerte greeted them warmly.
“I’m so glad you all could make it. Please, make yourselves at home.”
La Muerte, Katalina thought, was one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen. With painted sugar skin, long dark hair, and a sense of both regality and warmth around her, she didn’t compare to anyone Katalina had ever met.
“Thank you for having us, my lady.” Carmen said, making her way to her old friend and dragging Katalina along with her. Katalina stiffened and did her best to look polite and formal.
“It’s tradition, Carmen. You’re always welcome in my home, and it’s been so long since you last came for a visit.” La Muerte smiled at the skeleton woman before her fiery eyes fell on Katalina and her interest was piqued.
“And you’re a new face.” She knelt down to look at Katalina more closely.
“This is my granddaughter, Katalina.” Carmen said. A soft smile appeared on La Muerte’s face.
“Oh, niña, is that really you? Ay, you humans grow up so quickly.”
“You know me, my lady?” Katalina asked.
“I was there at the birth of you and your sister. I got your mother to safety when she went into labor fighting off Chela’s army. Your mother named you for me.”
Katalina looked at Carmen, who nodded in confirmation.
“Sometimes your mother and I would swap babysitting duties. Whenever my husband and I had a lot of work down here and our older children were working on their studies, we would drop our younger children off at your house. To return the favor, I would come and keep an eye on you and Mireya when your parents needed me to, work allowing.”
“I’m sorry my lady, but I don’t think I remember any of this.”
“You were very young at the time, and it was only a few times over the first four years of your life. You wouldn’t remember it, as my younger children probably don’t.”
Katalina did briefly remember a time she played with wooden swords with another child who had black hair and a pair of downy wings that were no good for flying, but she had long assumed it was her sister wearing a costume.
“Where are the children?” Carmen asked.
“Usually at least one of them would have made an appearance by now.”
La Muerte’s mouth tightened and she looked around her.
“You’ll have to excuse me for a moment. I seem to have lost track of my youngest.” She quickly teleported away in a flurry of glitter and flower petals. Carmen chuckled.
“I know that feeling.” She turned to Katalina.
“Are you Alright?”
“It’s just overwhelming. That’s all. I used to like parties. Really, I just want to see my parents again. That’s all.”
“We’ll go see them after the banquet, Alright? I promise.”
-
La Muerte’s youngest turned out to be hiding under the table with a few pilfered conchas. He was discovered by Katalina when she’d been grabbing some tamales only for the tongs to slip from her hand and fall under the table. When the former Colonel knelt down and crawled under the tablecloth, she found him sitting right by the tongs.
He looked to be around two or three years old, but much larger than a human child of that age, with emerald green skin and eyes to match. His hair was a silvery white that turned to pink at the tips and reminded Katalina of flower petals. Not all of his soul markings had come in yet, but the ones he did have were shades of pastel yellows and pinks. He looked like springtime incarnate, life incarnate, hope and love incarnate. Everything Katalina couldn’t be.
Katalina crawled fully under the table and knelt in front of him.
“Ah, so it’s you who’s causing all the fuss.” She said with a smile. The child, who was working his way through a concha and had his mouth full, nodded.
“Aw, I don’t think anyone can stay mad at you. Ay que lindo.” The child didn’t speak, he just kept chewing on the last of his pastry while staring up at Katalina.
“Is it too loud for you out there? It’s loud for me too, but your mamá and my abuela are going to worry if we don’t come out from hiding.”
The child finished eating the pastry, leaving nothing but a few crumbs and remnants of icing on his tunic and around his mouth. He crawled to Katalina and made himself comfortable on her lap, reaching his hands up to touch her skeletal face and tug slightly on her hair. Katalina smiled.
“You don’t talk much, do you?”
The child shook his head.
“Come on, pequeño, let’s go find your mamá. I bet she misses you.”
The child scootched off Katalina’s lap and she led him out from under the table. Once they were out, she picked him up and balanced him on her hip. It wasn’t too terribly hard for her, for he was only around the size of a five or six year old human and Katalina was fairly strong. Now, the hard part was going to be finding his mother.
“Abuela,” Katalina approached Carmen, who turned to her.
“I found this little one under the table. Do you know where I might find his mother?”
Carmen smiled.
“Ah, there you are Xochiquen. Stealing pastries again?”
The child—Xochiquen—nodded with an unashamed smile.
“I don’t know where she is, mija. Go exploring a bit, I’m sure you’ll find her.”
“Am I allowed to?”
“I’m sure you’ll be excused if you’re bringing Xochiquen back to his mother. Now go.”
-
Carrying a godly toddler double the size of a human his age on her hip wasn’t as easy while walking long distance, and the more Katalina roamed the castle hallways the more her bones started to ache under his weight. Eventually, she put Xochiquen down and took a moment to catch her breath. The toddler watched her intently and unblinkingly.
“I’m alright, Xochiquen. Just catching my breath.” She told him. Despite his divinity, the child reminded her a little of Félix when he was that age. He had also been quiet at first, but once he’d started talking he’d never been able to stop.
”Sometimes I wish you’d never learned to speak.” Katalina had said a few times in their childhood. Little did she know that one day she would give anything to hear him chatter away endlessly.
Thinking about Félix, however, gave the former Colonel an idea. Katalina crouched down and held her arms behind her back.
“Climb on, Xochiquen. I’ll give you a Chuy Ride to your Mamá.”
The divine toddler grinned widely and immediately climbed onto her back. This was much better already.
“Alright pequeño, lets go.”
-
It wasn’t hard for Katalina to find La Muerte after that. All she had to do was follow the sound of cursing and fretting to a room that held two beds and a number of toys to find the goddess searching frantically in every space that a child his size could feasibly fit into.
“My lady?” Katalina spoke up, La Muerte hit her head on the underside of the bed as she quickly tried to stand.
“Ay!” She rubbed her head and put her large hat back on. When she turned to Katalina, a look of relief spread over her face.
“You found him!” She went to the human.
“He was hiding under the table with a bunch of pan dulce.” Katalina straightened up as Xochiquen slid off her back to go to his mother. La Muerte picked him up with a chuckle.
“Of course he was. I don’t know why that wasn’t the first place I looked.” She kissed his forehead.
“Thank you for bringing him back to me, Lina.”
“It was nothing.”
“There must be a way I can return the favor.”
“No, no. It was my pleasure, you don’t need to do anything.”
“At least let me escort you back to the banquet.”
Katalina looked back the way she came and realized it would be impossible to find her way back on her own.
“If you wouldn’t mind.”
“Not at all. Come, niña.” La Muerte led her back towards the banquet, an idea of how to truly repay the young woman turning in her mind.
-
If Katalina still had a heart, it would have been pounding like a drum in her ribcage when she crossed the marigold bridge to San Ángel with her family. The petals glowed under her boots, their sweet smell filling the air.
“Are you alright, mija?” Carlos asked, putting his hand on her shoulder.
“I’m fine, abuelo. I just…I haven’t seen my parents or my siblings in so long. I’m kind of scared.”
“A Sanchez doesn’t know fear!”
“Quiet, Carlos!” Anita shouted at him.
“No, he’s got a point. I’ve been in bloody battles and killed people with my own hands, why is this somehow more scary?”
“The first trip back to the land of the living is always the hardest.” Luis told her.
“He’s right.” Carmen said.
“Well, I can’t put it off forever.” The family came to the end of the bridge in San Ángel, and Katalina’s world shifted a little.
San Ángel looked like she remembered it from her childhood, although now there was a single car parked on the side of the road. Apparently the future had reached the tiny town of her birth. The buildings were all the same, blocky and brown with faded posters on the sides both old and new. Katalina touched a newer poster that pictured an illustration of a black haired woman in an orange matador suit.
“Plaza de Toros San Ángel presenta: La increíble Mireya Sánchez! 28 de octubre de 1945” The poster read.
“She’s made us all proud.” Luis sniffled, looking at the poster.
“I’m happy for her. I’m glad she’s doing well for herself.” Katalina managed to pry herself away from the poster to follow the rest of the family to the graveyard.
-
The graveyard, as usual, was full of light and color. The dead walked among the living, although the living could not see or hear them, and the world was full of joy and sadness of equal measure. Katalina looked around frantically for her family, for some sign that they were here as they had been every year when she was a little girl.
“Lina,” Carmen got her attention and directed her towards a cluster of graves.
In the part of the cemetery where the Sanchez family was buried, the graves were illuminated by candles and lanterns. There were a few people standing around them, and Katalina felt as if she was going to cry. She pushed past her family and ran towards the plot.
“¡Mamá! ¡Papá! ¡Soy yo! ¡Estoy en casa!” She cried with teary eyes, running towards her family to embrace them. Just as she was tackling her parents, reality hit, and she phased right through them as if she wasn’t really there. She wasn’t really there, after all. Katalina stumbled to the ground behind her parents and looked at the soil under her.
“Oh yeah… that’s right…” She said softly, closing her eyes as tears began to fall down her face.
“Hermana, I brought your favorite.” She heard a familiar voice say. She opened her eyes and looked towards the sound.
The grave she sat by had a heart shaped headstone with a piece of glass on it that no doubt held a photograph. It was illuminated by candles and covered in intricate painted forms of every color one could imagine. A familiar young woman knelt in front of it with a bowl of Pozole in her hands. A woman Katalina would recognize anywhere.
Mireya had taken to keeping her hair short in a flapper bob that came down to just above her chin, and she had a new scar along her right cheek presumably from a nasty bullfight. Though she was the same age as Katalina her golden-brown eyes showed grief and weariness in them. Had Lina’s own black ones shown the same thing before her death?
“I added extra lime, just the way you like it.” She placed the bowl on the grave. Katalina got up and walked to her before sitting next to her.
“I don’t know if you’re really here, but it’s nice to think you are. Nice to think that maybe for a night or two I won’t have to be alone anymore. Even if you’re gone forever, no matter what, you’ll always be my sister.”
Katalina put her hand on Mireya’s, though the living twin wouldn’t be able to feel it.
“And You’ll always be mine.” She whispered as she felt her parents settle down on the ground around Mireya.
“It’s alright, Mija. It’s alright.” Their father said, holding his surviving daughter tightly, unaware that his oldest was separated only by a thin fabric and longing for her parents’ touch one more time.
Someone sat next to Mireya in front of her.
“Don’t cry, Mireya. You’re gonna make me cry, and Lina wouldn’t want either of us to cry.” A teenager’s voice said.
Félix had grown into a handsome young man now. He’d gotten taller since Katalina had last seen him, but still was only around the same height as their mother. He was somehow both everything like Katalina had imagined him and nothing like she had. He was no longer her baby brother now, but nearly a man. A man and yet still a child.
“I want to say she’d laugh at us for crying, but…” Mireya trailed off.
“No. Your sister cared a lot. She always fought for what was right.” Their mother said, running her fingers through her living childrens’ hair as they cuddled close to her.
“She would have held us close and sang to us until we felt better.” Félix said, blinking back tears.
“She’ll be doing the same now, even if we can’t see her.” Their father said.
“I know she’s here, and I hope she knows how proud we are of her and how much we miss her.”
Katalina had tears streaming from her dead eyes as she listened, unable to respond or make them notice her presence. Without words, she cuddled as close to her family as she could without phasing through them. They all sat there in the dark, illuminated by the glow of the candles. The black and white picture of Katalina in her Colonel’s uniform encased in her headstone seemed to shine the most brightly of all of them.
-
The deceased Sanchez family returned to the land of the remembered just before dawn after visiting their other ofrendas, such as Carmen’s brother Simon in Miracle City. Katalina was exhausted and overwhelmed from the emotions of that night, but couldn’t wait for the next Dia De Los Muertos, so she could see her parents and siblings again.
As they made their way from the fading marigold bridge back into town, Katalina heard a voice cry out;
“Coronela!”
Katalina turned in the direction of the voice and clapped her hands over her mouth. Rapidly approaching her was a young skeleton boy of about fourteen dressed in the uniform of a soldier with a large soul marking over his eye.
Katalina ran towards Nandito and the two met in a fierce, long-awaited hug that sent them both sinking to the ground. Heaving sobs wracked the former colonel’s body as she hugged her old friend tightly, too scared to let go and overwhelmed with even more emotion.
-
La Muerte watched the emotional reunion invisible from a rooftop with a smile on her face.
“It’s the least I can do.” She whispered.

Chapter 9

Summary:

The world consists of good and bad, and nothing lasts forever.

Notes:

TW: Mentions of Sexual Assault of a Minor, Offscreen Major Character Death

Chapter Text

The years came and went, and like her family told her, it got a little easier for Katalina. The pain ebbed and flowed throughout the years as she watched the world go by without her.
A series of tragedies began to strike the divine family over the course of the next decade. First the rape of their youngest daughter and the accident that involved one of their sons in his quest for revenge for his sister, and then the trial that followed. Then, there was an incident involving the oldest and middle princesses. Nobody knew the specifics, but it was bad enough that the older daughter was stripped of her wings, her title, and her divinity, and banished to the land of the living for the rest of time. The middle daughter disappeared from the public eye for recovery.
The Land of the Remembered, though still festive, lost some of its luster and joy after that. The Sanchez family didn’t go to the castle every year as they used to.
Katalina felt bad, but seeing her family over the years seemed more important.
-
In the year after Katalina’s death and the end of the war, Mireya found a man that she loved. One that she didn’t scare off, much to Katalina’s surprise.
Arturo Quiñones was a doctor, and a kind man if not somewhat less equipped with social skills. His quieter personality and Mireya’s ferocity meshed better than Katalina could have hoped. Within the next two years, Mireya’s hand gained a golden wedding ring and her stomach swelled with child, the first of what would turn into six.
Her third, the firstborn of a set of twins, was named Rafael. Katalina tried not to cry.
-
Félix remained in San Ángel. Unlike his sisters, domesticity and a quiet life was something that was enough for him.
Four years after end of the war, a middle aged woman woman in the mountains died and a young woman moved to San Ángel with a young girl in her care.
Katalina and Nandito watched with intense excitement over the next few days of the dead as Carlotta and Félix fell further and further into love. Nandito, though saddened by what could have been, was glad that the girl he loved was able to find happiness again, and was glad to be reunited with his mother once more.
Three days of the dead after Carlotta de la Rosa moved to San Ángel, she and Félix tended the ofrendas with a newborn in tow. The little girl was named Catrina, and Katalina found herself crying all over again.
Later, their third and final child would be named Fernando.
-
The world consists of good and bad, and nothing lasts forever.
In 1964, an illness swept through San Ángel. Even with the gradual modernization of the town, there wasn’t enough medicine to save everyone. Those who gave the most to help the people were doomed to lose themselves.
In 1964, Katalina reunited with her parents for the first time in over twenty years.
-
Katalina had been tuning her own guitar in her room when she heard a commotion outside. She carefully put the instrument down on her bed and made her way to the courtyard of the villa, where a crowd of family members had formed. Her stomach tied itself into knots over who it could be.
“Move aside, Vamo, Vamo.” Carmen commanded when she noticed her granddaughter coming. The crowd parted before Katalina like the Red Sea before Moses, and standing in the center were her own mother and father.
There was a few moments of silent heaviness from all parties. Katalina, frozen for a while, managed to break free of her invisible binding and walk on shaky legs towards her parents.
Maria Sanchez reached out to cup her oldest daughter’s face as she stood before them. She lovingly traced bony fingers along her daughter’s intricate soul markings with the recognition a mother has for her child even after decades.
Manolo Sanchez reached out his own hand to lovingly stroke his daughter’s chocolate colored hair as he had done so many time before, and Katalina came undone.
The three of them hugged each other tightly, tears involved from all parties. The words would go unsaid for now. They didn’t matter. They were together again.
-
“Okay, so I’ve been working on learning the chords for one of those new American songs and I need a completely unbiased opinion, so I came to you.” Katalina said two months later.
“My Papá knows his stuff Alright, but he also appreciates everything I do and I’ll never get better without constructive criticism. Besides, I know you have an ear for music.”
Chuy just stood there unimpressed, chewing on a piece of corn and waiting for the show he was promised.
Katalina began as She strummed on the guitar.

”there is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it’s been a ruin
For many a poor boy
And God, I know I’m one

My mother was a tailor
She sewed my new blue jeans
My father was a gamblin’ man—“

A familiar voice from behind her joined her on the last line, causing her to falter on the guitar. Even Chuy, whose attention was now directed towards behind Katalina, looked shocked in his own dead-pig way.

”Down in New Orleans”

Katalina stopped playing and turned around slowly. There, about two yards away, stood the skeletal form of Mireya Sanchez. Katalina was frozen still, and this time she was approached. Mireya, tears in her eyes, rushed to her sister and all but tackled her in a tight hug, knocking the guitar from Katalina’s hands. The twins fell to their knees on the ground, shaking and sobbing as they embraced tightly.
The twins were together again.
-
By 1983, Katalina mostly sat in an old plaza on the other side of the city playing her guitar. The souls here were few and far in between. Some of them had moved, and some had been forgotten all together. Only a few remained, and never diligently listened. The plaza was too close to the castle. La soldado cantante, as she was called by the locals who never bothered to ask her name, didn’t mind. It was quiet, it gave her time to think.
She sat on the edge of a fountain with no one she could see listening and played on her guitar.
“No sé qué tienen las flores, Llorona
Las flores del Campo Santo
No sé qué tienen las flores, Llorona
Las flores del Campo Santo”

She sang to what she thought was only herself, unaware that the fate of the world as it was known would change forever.

Chapter 10

Summary:

The fate of the world as it was known changes forever

Notes:

TW: Arrest, Minor Depictions of Violence

Chapter Text

“No sé qué tienen las flores, Llorona
Las flores del Campo Santo
No sé qué tienen las flores, Llorona
Las flores del Campo Santo”

Katalina sang to herself in the empty plaza.

”Que cuando las mueve el viento, Llorona
Parece que están llorando
Que cuando las mueve el viento, Llorona
Parece que están llorando

Ay de mí, Llorona
Llorona, tú eres mi chunca
Ay de mí, Llorona
Llorona, tú eres mi chunca”

A stone was kicked nearby and Katalina stopped her song, looking around for the noise. The source of the noise, she found, was a large cloaked figure standing about ten feet behind the broken fountain where she sat.
“No… Don’t stop on my account.” An unfamiliar woman’s voice came from beneath the cloak.
There was a few moments of silence between the two before Katalina spoke.
“You don’t need to stand so far away. There’s nobody else here. Besides, the sound travels better to your ears if I’m facing you… Well, we don’t have ears anymore but you get what I mean.”
“I have ears.” The figure said in a voice that sounded like it was holding back a laugh. Katalina pursed her lips.
“Huh. This realm never ceases to surprise me.” She directed her attention back to her guitar and plucked the next notes she would play, keenly aware of the woman drawing closer to her to sit near her on the edge of the fountain.
”Me quitarán de quererte, Llorona
Pero de olvidarte nunca
Me quitarán de quererte, Llorona
Pero de olvidarte nunca

A un Santo Cristo de fierro, Llorona
Mis penas le conté yo
A un Santo Cristo de fierro, Llorona
Mis penas le conté yo

Cuáles no serían mis penas, Llorona
Que el Santo Cristo lloró
Cuáles no serían mis penas, Llorona
Que el Santo Cristo lloró

Ay de mí Llorona
Llorona de un campo lirio
Ay de mí Llorona
Llorona de un campo lirio

El que no sabe de amores, Llorona
No sabe lo que es martirio
El que no sabe de amores, Llorona
No sabe lo que es martirio”

Katalina looked over at the cloaked woman, and though she couldn’t see her face, she could tell she was watching her intently. She turned back to her guitar.

”Dos besos llevo en el alma, Llorona
Que no se apartan de mí
Dos besos llevo en el alma, Llorona
Que no se apartan de mí

El último de mi madre, Llorona
Y el primero que te di
El último de mi madre, Llorona
Y el primero que te di, ay

Ay de mí, Llorona
Llorona, llévame al río
Ay de mí, Llorona
Llorona, llévame al río

Tápame con tu rebozo, Llorona
Porque me muero de frío
Tápame con tu rebozo, Llorona
Porque me muero de frío”

Katalina finished with a final skilled strum of her guitar and drawn out note. The woman’s arms cautiously exited the cloak, and much to the musician’s surprise they seemed to be covered with—skin?!
Yes, surely, or at least what looked like skin, pale with yellow-ish undertones and covered in subtle soul markings like everyone in this land. These strange hands moved upwards to the hood of the cloak and pushed it back to reveal the audience.
Under the hood of the cloak was a young woman—no, a girl. A girl in her late teens, only a few years younger than Katalina. Her face was pale like her hands, but colorful soul markings stood out against her flesh. Her eyes—beautiful and verdant green—were painted with black and under them were purple markings that were reminiscent of tears, or possibly flower petals. She had a hooked nose, the tip of which was painted to look like the black nasal hole of a skeleton, and in the center of her brow was a red heart-shaped marking. The edge of her face was lined with subtle, barely noticeable soul markings only a shade darker than her skin, and her whole face was framed by an untamed mane of thick, black hair. The creature that sat next to Katalina had her both spellbound and frightened at once, for she knew this was no mortal.
“Could you play another?” The girl asked. Katalina was silent while trying to figure out how to respond but eventually forced out;
“Have any requests?”
A smile spread across the girl’s pink rosebud lips.
“How about… La Bikina?”
“That’s more of a trumpet song, isn’t it?”
The girl’s smile faded.
“Oh no, that was a stupid request, wasn’t it? I’m sorry. Just give me a minute to—“
Katalina was already strumming.

”Solitaria camina la bikina
Y la gente se pone a murmurar
Dicen que tiene una pena
Dicen que tiene una pena que la hace llorar
Altanera, preciosa y orgullosa, no permite la quieran consolar
Pasa luciendo su real majestad
Pasa, camina y los mira sin verlos jamás

La bikina tiene pena y dolor
La bikina no conoce el amor
Altanera, preciosa y orgullosa
No permite la quieran consolar
Dicen que alguien ya vino y se fue
Dicen que pasa las noches llorando por él”

As She strummed on the guitar for the interlude, the girl began to dance. Her movements were fluid, yet restrained by some unseen force under her cloak. In that moment, she looked joyous. She turned to Katalina.
“You know, I’m not even supposed to be out here.”
“Oh?”
“But it’s so heavy at home sometimes. It’s easier to just dance to the music.”
“I get what you mean.”
Katalina opened her mouth to begin the end, but in an instant the two found themselves surrounded by skeletal guards with ancient spears that seemed to be made of molten gold. Both of them froze, putting up their hands. Katalina wondered what she could have done wrong, but then realized all the spears were pointed at the girl.
“La Carroñera, you’re not supposed to leave the castle.” One of them, clearly the leader, said. Katalina stared at the girl.
She’d heard stories of La Carroñera, only stories. A goddess who had gone rogue and sought to destroy humanity, and would have been banished or executed if not for the intervention of La Muerte. From all the stories she heard, she couldn’t understand why the benevolent queen of the remembered would go to bat for such a terrible being. But now that she was looking at the subject of those legends, she saw no terrible being. She saw a teenage girl who was surrendering.
“I know.” La Carroñera said, resignedly.
“Cuetzpalli,” The leader turned his attention towards one of his soldiers, who looked at him fearfully.
“Check her wings.”
Cuetzpalli, as he was named, broke trembling from formation and reached out to un-clasp La Carroñera’s cloak, causing the young goddess to flinch. He held up his golden spear reflexively, and the tip grazed her forearm, drawing golden blood to the surface. Cuetzpalli fearfully held his spear in front of him, bones rattling in fear and anticipation of what the dangerous woman might do to him. Instead, there was a flash of sadness in the girl’s green eyes and she reached up to un-clasp her own cloak.
The dark garment fell in a pool around her feet. Underneath it, La Carroñera was quite thin and wore a white blouse intricately embroidered with flowers of all colors and a skirt covered in sequins of many different colors, but mostly green. The small shiny objects made up beautiful images, all centering around some sort of stylized bird of prey in the center of it. However, her outfit was outshone by the reveal of her wings. Large, elegant, charcoal colored wings that sprouted from her back and were nearly folded against her body.
Cuetzpalli cautiously moved around to her back and held his hand up to her wings, muttering an incantation. At once, transparent golden chains appeared floating around her wings, but only for a moment before Cuetzpalli took his hand away and they vanished.
“She’s still under the binding spell, señor.” He said, backing away from the feared goddess.
“They were arguing again. I just wanted to listen to the music.” She muttered.
“We’ll see what the queen of the remembered has to say about that. You may have just added an extra six months to your sentence.”
“Understood, señor.”
The guards surrounding her and holding spears at her, they began to lead her away towards the castle while Katalina watched powerlessly. La Carroñera turned to look back at the former Colonel with sad eyes.
“Juegas maravillosamente.” She said before they hurried her away.
At once, Katalina was left again in an empty plaza with only her guitar for company.
-
“Did you have a good day out?” Her mother asked, combing her daughter’s long, dark hair that night.
“I did. I went to the empty plaza again.” Katalina said.
“Just you?” Maria asked.
“No. I met a girl there today.”
“Did you?”
“She was pretty.”
“Was She?”
“She liked my music. She danced.”
“Sanchez music always has a way of capturing hearts.” Maria smiled as she put down the comb and began to braid Katalina’s long hair.
“And then she got arrested.” Maria stopped about a quarter way through her braid.
“Before I even finished playing the song she wanted.”
“Oh, so she’s a bad girl then?”
Katalina thought for a moment as Maria picked the braid back up.
“No. I don’t think so.”

Chapter 11

Summary:

The eyes are the window to the soul

Chapter Text

Katalina laid in her bed, lost in her thoughts.
La Carroñera, between 1962 and 1969, had been the subject of terror across the land of the remembered, and quite possibly all of the lands as well. She would snatch both the living and the dead from their homes and drag them to the land of the cursed for even the slightest offense. El Chamuco, the ruler of this land, was in a constant state of having to return traumatized mortals to their rightful place when he could have been doing other work. The world as she saw it was black and white, and even the tiniest stain must be eliminated. That was, until she was apprehended and imprisoned by the angel knights of the Creator. They had almost banished her, even almost executed her. But for reasons that remained unknown to the mortals, she had been spared. She had been spared despite the fear and anguish her name sent into the hearts of those around her, and nobody knew why. But now Katalina did.
She was a child.
Appearances can be deceiving, Katalina knew that more than anyone. She had been at war for a quarter of her life. She knew how to read people like a children’s book by now. The secret was in their eyes, for even the most gifted deceiver can never truly close the windows to the soul. When Katalina thought about La Carroñera’s large green eyes—the shade of emeralds and snakes, parakeets and clover—she didn’t see a monster. She saw a shy wallflower of a girl who loved music. Someone who could be, and was well on her way to, led back towards the light.
Katalina got out of bed and dressed.
-
It took a while to find the right balcony, with the castle being so big, but when Katalina found the one with an opaque glass door where a winged silhouette could be seen, she felt she found the right one.
“Oye! Señorita!” She shouted, strumming her guitar. The figure stirred and made its way towards the door. The door was pushed open and sure enough, much to Katalina’s relief, the bushy-haired head of La Carroñera peeked out.
The goddess, now dressed in a light blue nightgown, went to the edge of the balcony and looked over it in surprise.
“Soldado, what are you doing here?” She whisper-shouted.
“I believe, my lady, that I never finished your song request.” Katalina said with a smile. The goddess’s cheeks burned bright red.
“If you won’t strike me down, allow me to play for you.”
The young goddess looked around, making sure they were alone, and then knelt on the balcony, looking down at Katalina, and gave a nod. Katalina began to play.

”Solitaria camina la bikina
Y la gente se pone a murmurar
Dicen que tiene una pena
Dicen que tiene una pena que la hace llorar
Altanera, preciosa y orgullosa, no permite la quieran consolar
Pasa luciendo su real majestad
Pasa, camina y los mira sin verlos jamás

La bikina tiene pena y dolor
La bikina no conoce el amor
Altanera, preciosa y orgullosa
No permite la quieran consolar
Dicen que alguien ya vino y se fue
Dicen que pasa las noches llorando por él”

This time, Katalina played the interlude as she danced, and the goddess looked down on her with a fond smile.
“Wha-What’s happen-happening out here-here?” A voice from behind the goddess asked with a stutter, and the goddess turned her head. Behind her, standing in the doorway to the balcony, was another goddess wearing a purple dress. A shorter, stockier one with reddish-brown skin and black and white hair, accompanied by the same shade of luscious green as La Carroñera’s. The first Goddess put her finger to her lips, shushing her as she turned her attention back to Katalina. The second one crept up closer to her to look over the balcony.

”La bikina tiene pena y dolor
La bikina no conoce el amor
Altanera, preciosa y orgullosa
No permite la quieran consolar
Dicen que alguien ya vino y se fue
Dicen que pasa las noches llorando por él
Dicen que pasa las noches llorando por él
Dicen que pasa las noches llorando por él”

Katalina finished with a triumphant strum and looked up at the balcony. La Carroñera clapped with a smile, but her face otherwise looked horrified and embarrassed. The unknown goddess next to her had her hands clapped to each side of her face and her mouth wide open like a Munch painting, although she looked more delighted than frightful.
“Ooooooohhhhh!” The second Goddess squealed before teleporting away in a cloud of stardust. As the cloud of stardust disappeared out the balcony door, both La Carroñera and Katalina could hear her call out:
“Tonalliiiiii! Reyessss!!!”
La Carroñera covered her face in embarrassment.
“D…Do You have any more requests, my lady?” Katalina asked sheepishly. The goddess thought for a moment before taking her hands away from her face and replying:
“Play whatever is in your heart.”
Katalina smiled and began to pluck a few notes on her guitar while vocalizing.

“When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No, I won't be afraid
No, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me”

Neither of them noticed the three heads peer into the bedroom from the inside doorway.
“Sssh, lis-listen.” A girl’s voice said.

”So darlin', darlin', stand by me
Oh, stand by me
Oh, stand
Stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry
No I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me

And darlin', darlin', stand by me
Oh, stand by me
Oh, stand now
Stand by me, stand by me

And darlin', darlin', stand by me
Oh, stand by me
Oh, stand now
Stand by me, stand by me

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me
Oh, stand by me
Won't you stand by me”

La Carroñera stared down at Katalina with a smile on her face.
“That’s beautif—“ She was interrupted by a crash and a shout of
“Ay! Chingada!” The goddess turned around to find one of the gods that had been watching her lying flat on his face on the floor. Katalina tilted her head.
“Uhhh, everything alright up there?”
La Carroñera turned back to look at her.
“Yes. It is. I just have enemies all around me.”
“Assassins?! Spies?!” Katalina suddenly wished she’d brought her weapons.
“Worse. Siblings.”
“…You’re right, that is worse.”
Another god appeared next to La Carroñera. His skin was a light gold splattered with white patches, his hair a silvery white, and his eyes were a warm orange color. From his back sprouted glorious wings of yellow and blue, every shade you could imagine. He wore Mexica regalia in all shades of blue and yellow, minus the typical feathered headdress. He was easily recognizable, for everyone in the land of the remembered knew and loved him.
“Ohhhh you were right, Alazne! Our little sister has a lady caller!” Tonalpiltzin, the God of light and rebirth, clasped his hands and looked down at Katalina. In an instant, he was right next to her, inspecting her closely.
“And she’s a human too! Oh, isn’t that wonderful?”
“Ay! Leave her alone, Tonalli!” La Carroñera’s face was red with embarrassment.
“Let him have his fun.” Another voice said, and another God appeared on the balcony.
He was heavier set, but his face was a red skull decorated with bright yellow soul markings, the same color as his neck. His hair was black and tied back in a low ponytail, and his eyes, oh his eyes. His scleras were the same yellow and the actual color of his eyes looked to be all the colors of fire. To top it off, he wore a red charro suit decorated with marigolds and had white gloves on his hands. His presence was imposing and bold, and Katalina knew she was in the presence of the famed El Reyalmas, the God of festivals and tradition.
“It’s not often we get to have a human bold enough to come here anymore. I wonder why that is.” He stared pointedly at La Carroñera, who looked away ashamedly. Before Katalina could brush Tonalli off long enough to tell him off, she was beaten to it.
“Cá-Cállate, Reyes!” The other goddess from before appeared next to him.
“What are you going to do, Alazne? Shoot stardust at me?” He taunted.
“Besides, we all know I’m right.”
La Carroñera didn’t say anything. Tonalli frowned up at him. Reyes gave a dramatic sigh.
“Oh, so now I’m the bad guy? You three always put me in this position when I’m the only one brave enough to say what we’re all thinking. It’s simply unfair.”
He disappeared and reappeared in front of Katalina, causing Tonalli to put a protective arm around her.
“You, guitar girl. What’s your name?”
“K-Katalina. Katalina Sanchez, señor.”
“That explains a lot. Your family has always been Lleno de tontos. That’s probably why someone as young as you are is down here. Now listen, guitar girl. No more sneaking into the palace gardens in the dead of night, if I catch you doing this again, I will have the guards drag you to the deepest dungeon in—“
“Reyes, we don’t even HAVE a dungeon here!” Tonalli retorted, earning a glare from Reyes.
“Whatever. If you absolutely must visit my delinquent sister, you may come to the palace during the day and play for her then. But be warned, little mortal. She cares not for you, she cares not for anyone but herself. One slip-up, one mistake, and the very essence of your soul will be destroyed. Remember your place, guitarrista. You’re nothing more than a plaything to her.”
He vanished in a burst of rose and marigold petals. The atmosphere was silent, so tense you couldn’t cut it with a knife, for only an axe would suffice. Tonalli let go of Katalina.
“Lo siento, Señorita.” He gave a hurried apology before teleporting up to the balcony in a burst of glitter and reaching out for La Carroñera—if that was even her real name. Alazne, the girl in the purple dress, stopped his hand before he could touch her and shook her head. She stooped down next to the goddess.
“Esta bie-bien. He-He’s go-gone now. Cálmate, man-man-manita, cálmate.” She spoke softly.
“…I think I’d like to be alone now.” La Carroñera said. Katalina nodded.
“Of course, my lady. I hope you liked the performance.”
Before anyone could stop her, she quickly scaled the nearby tree and hopped over the wall, heading back towards her home.
-
“Wai-Wait!” A voice called after Katalina when she was about halfway home. She stopped and turned around to see Alazne running after her, and waited until the goddess had caught up with her. Alazne took a moment to catch her breath.
“With all due respect, your highness, could you not have teleported?”
Alazne thought for a minute before sighing in defeat.
“Loo-Look, Rey-Reyes can b-be a bit… Harsh. Brut-Brutally honest. Just plai-plain cruel. Bu-But, I-I haven’t seen my-my sis-sister smi-smile like tha-that in ages. I-I don’t c-care wha-what Reyes says. He-He does not sp-speak f-for all o-of us. He do-does n-not speak for m-me.”
“Where are you going with this?”
“C-Come back to th-the castle tom-morrow. I-I know m-my sis-sister better th-than anyone el-else, an-and there is m-more t-to her story tha-than pe-people care t-to th-think of. I-I know sh-she’s m-made mis-mistakes, but we all jus-just wa-want her t-to be hap-happy.”
Katalina thought for a moment. She thought back to those emerald eyes, full of depth and regret. She thought about the girl curled up in a ball on the balcony. She nodded. Alazne smiled.
“I-I w-will l-let them know y-you are com-coming.” She said.
“Th-Thank you, Señorita San-Sanchez.”
And with that, she disappeared in a puff of stardust. Katalina was left alone in the empty street, and after a moment of stillness, continued the walk home.

Chapter 12

Summary:

Katalina visits the castle of the remembered

Chapter Text

“You’re up early.” Mireya commented before taking a sip of her coffee when she saw her twin come down the stairs fully dressed in a cream button down shirt with brown overalls and combat boots to match.
“If I remember correctly, in the past four decades since the end of the war, you’ve decided you like sleeping in.”
“I just wanted to get a head start on the day.” Katalina said.
“Ay, you’re just like my kids. You think you can lie to me? Yesterday you didn’t get up until ten.”
“So?”
“It‘s six thirty. The sun only rose an hour ago. Even Papá isn’t up yet and you know how much of a morning person he is.”
“What are you insinuating?” Katalina poured herself a cup of coffee. Mireya grinned wickedly.
“You’ve met someone, haven’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“And You don’t even have the decency to sneak out to meet him at night. You’ve become bold, hermana.”
“Who says I didn’t sneak out to see her last night?”
Mireya laughed.
“Besides, it’s not like that. She’s a very lonely person, and my music makes her feel a bit better. Her sister asked me to come to her today.”
“Are you going to tell me who this mystery girl is?”
“Absolutely not.”
Mireya shrugged.
“Lo que, I’ll find out sooner or later anyway.”
’Yeah Right.’ Katalina thought, sipping her coffee while giving Mireya her best stink eye.
“Still, it’s pretty early. I doubt this girl is going to be up right now. I would tell you to go back to sleep, but you’re drinking coffee.”
“Fine. I wasn’t going to go right away, though. I just wanted to avoid getting accosted.”
“In La Familia Sanchez? Good luck.”
“I know you see me as some dumb kid because you’re old now, but remember I’ve been here twice as long as you, and I’m still five minutes older than you.”
“Lo se, Lina. What do you want me to tell them when they ask for you?”
“Just tell them the truth, that I’m going to visit a friend.” Katalina finished her coffee and made her way towards the door.
“I’ll hopefully be back by dinner.”
“Have fun, don’t get into too much trouble.”
“Ay, stop acting like mamá.” She left the house.
-
Four hours later, Katalina stood in front of the gate to the Castle of the Remembered with her guitar and a bag of various offerings. After all, she had been raised right. She never went as a guest somewhere without bringing a gift, especially if she was a guest in the house of Gods.
“Ah! You ca-came!” A familiar voice sounded. Alazne appeared in front of her. Today she was dressed in a more traditional dress black dress with white flowers, not unlike the kind Frida Khalo wore, and decorated with pink ribbons.
“I-I was w-worried y-you w-wouldn’t show up a-after what Reyes said.” She admitted.
“Oh no, lo siento, my lady. Should I have come earlier?”
“No. M-My sister t-tends t-to sleep in. N-Not m-much else t-to do while sh-she’s on h-house ar-arrest. C-Come.” She led Katalina through the gates and into the castle.
“Do I need to be filled in on anything or?”
“You’re no-not h-her care-caregiver. I-I’m h-hoping y-you’ll be her fr-friend, h-her equal. Sh-She will t-tell y-you h-her story when-whenever sh-she wants to. It’s n-not m-my place.”
Katalina smiled.
“You’re a good sister, my lady.”
“I-It’s just A-Alazne, p-please.”
“Do you have a formal title like the others? Out there, we only really know the Gods by their formal titles.”
“L-La C-Citlahuani.” She said.
“D-Don’t ca-call me that, tho-though. N-Not un-unless I-I t-tell you to.”
“Of course not. I’m assuming La Carroñera is just a title as well.”
“A cru-cruel one.”
Katalina had her own thoughts about that, but she kept quiet.
-
Alazne managed to lead Katalina undetected through the castle until they arrived at the room that was their destination.
“I sh-share th-this room with my sis-sister, b-but I’ll g-give you s-some p-privacy if y-you wa-want.”
“We’ll see what she wants, hm?”
“Of course.”
Alazne knocked on the door.
“Ma-Manita! I bro-brought a-a vis-visit—“ Alazne was interrupted by the sound of dogs barking from inside the room.
“Ah, mie-mierda! I-I for-forgot to l-let th-the dogs out!”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. I like dogs.” Katalina tried to reassure her.
“They-They’re hell-hellhounds.”
Oh. That complicated things significantly more. But then again…
“I’m already dead, Alazne. If they rip me apart, I can easily be put back together. I know your mamá did that to my Papá Luis a long time ago… assuming La Muerte is your mamá.”
“You-You have a-a poi-point. And y-yes. M-My sis-sister and I-I a-are the prin-princesses o-of the r-remembered.”
That, again, explained why La Muerte fought so hard for La Carroñera to be spared, and why she was spared over Princess Sartana. Sartana was an adult who cursed her sister out of rage. La Carroñera was a child. Katalina thought some more, but before she could speak up, the doors opened and two large dogs came rushing out at her and Alazne.
Both dogs were quite large and intimidating looking, with large teeth and larger muscles. One was a Xolo dog with golden eyes, the other was some sort of mastiff with fawn colored fur. However, both dogs were curious and sniffed Katalina intently, tails wagging. The mastiff licked Katalina’s hand.
“Huh. Diablo never reacts to strangers like that.” Came a sleepy voice from the doorway. La Carroñera, still in her pajamas and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, stood before them.
“Usually he’d try to take your hand off before he ever licked you like that.”
“Bue-Buenos Di-Dias to y-you too.” Alazne said sarcastically.
“D-Do y-you WANT t-to scare her o-off?”
“Just stating a fact. Diablo hates strangers.”
“He doesn’t look like a Diablo.” Katalina said, scratching the mastiff behind the ears. Diablo slobbered on her boots.
“This is the part where you start breathing fire to prove her wrong, you chicken.” The winged goddess said.
“Wh-Where’s Lola? Sh-She u-usually leads the ch-charge.” Alazne asked.
“I let Oroitz have her last night.”
“B-But sh-she’s your emo-emotional sup-support d-dog.”
“And? You’re saying I can’t let my brother borrow her?”
“N-No, b-but—“
“Thanks for bringing a visitor. Now go make eyes at the Magic Academy librarians or something like that.”
Alazne huffed and teleported away in a burst of stardust. La Carroñera shuffled her feet awkwardly.
“Sorry. I didn’t expect to see anyone today.”
“No, I should have asked but Alazne invited me and I assumed—“
“No. I-I’m glad she did. I just don’t like being taken by surprise, that’s all…” There was an awkward pause before the goddess continued.
“I’m going to get dressed.”
Before Katalina could respond, the door was shut in her face, leaving her alone with the two hellhounds. Diablo huffed, allowing a few small wisps of smoke to escape his nose, before laying down by the door to wait for his mistress to return.
La Carroñera came back out a few moments later dressed in a plain midnight blue skirt, a white blouse, and a red shawl around her shoulders.
“You look nice.” Katalina tried to lift her spirits a little. The goddess blushed.
“Thanks… So, what did you come here for?”
“Whatever you want to do, I guess. I was invited to be your friend.”
“Well, whoever invited you to do that didn’t bother to ask me.”
Katalina’s metaphorical heart fell a little.
“So you don’t want to be friends?”
“I-It’s not that. I just. I Haven’t had friends in a really long time. It’s just been me and my family for a while. I’ve been stuck in the castle for years. I think I’m rusty on the whole thing, plus I only met you yesterday and can’t be sure you aren’t some assassin. I have enemies that aren’t siblings.”
“Well, I can’t say that I’m not an assassin. But I don’t have any interest in assassinating you.”
“Not that you’d know how to.”
“Exactly.”
“You seem alright. I mean, Diablo likes you, and he’s not the kind of dog that really likes other people. Even my parents and siblings he only really acts neutral around.”
“What’s the other one’s name?” Katalina asked, scratching the Xolo behind the ears.
“Guicho. He likes everyone once he gets to know them… Unless you’re prey.”
“And Lola? Is there a third one?”
“I left her with my brother. Come with me, I have to get her anyway so I can take them out to the garden.”
Katalina followed La Carroñera through the halls.
“I think I’ve been in your room before, a long time ago. My family was visiting on Dia de Los Muertos and your brother went missing. I found him and returned him to your mother.”
“Xochiquen? Doesn’t surprise me. He likes to wander a lot. He’s good at hide and seek, way too good.”
“I’ve never really paid much attention to what goes on here, I’m not super big on chisme. How many of you are there?”
“Nine of us originally. Only seven of us live at home, though.”
“I know Gods age differently than humans, how old are you?”
“In God years or human years?”
“Either one.”
“What day is it again?”
“August third, 1983.”
“Eighty seven human years, then.”
’She’s much older than I am.’ Katalina thought to herself.
“In God years though, that’s seventeen and a half.”
’Never mind.’
“How is it possible you’re both older than me and younger than me?” Katalina asked.
“I could ask the same thing for you. How old were you when you got down here, again? How old have you been since you died?”
“Twenty.”
“And how old would you be if you were still alive?”
Katalina thought for a moment.
“Fifty eight.”
“So you’re also both older and younger than me.”
“That’s a mindfuck.” Katalina said with a grin.
The two of them arrived at an ornate baby blue door decorated with stars and butterflies, snakes and flowers. La Carroñera knocked softly on the door.
“Oroitz, can I come in?”
“As the wind blows.” A voice said from inside. Katalina was confused, but her host apparently knew what it meant and pushed the door open.
The room behind the door looked like something quite literally out of a dream. Everything in pastel hues of pinks, purples, and blues and ornamental lights in the shapes of stars and butterflies hung from the ceiling emitting a soft, sleepy light. Every surface seemed to be soft and cozy, and just being in that room made Katalina want to curl up on the floor and fall asleep.
Sitting in a chair across the room with a book in hand was a young god who seemed to be around her own age. He was a pastel blue skeleton that seemed to be made of a cloudy gem-like substance with long, white hair that reached his mid-back. Sprouting from his back were two large wings of a dusky purple color, and he wore a silky purple robe and a pastel flower crown. In his lap laid a small white and fawn colored chihuahua with long fur, fast asleep.
La Carroñera went to the god.
“Buenos Dias, Oroitz.” She said.
“A green haze intrudes upon me. Someone has brought company.” Oroitz said, looking at Katalina with yellow skulls for eyes.
“Sí, I brought someone. I’m here to take Lola outside.”
He turned back to Etapalli.
“She sleeps, and in her dreams are the screams of the damned and the blood of her enemies and table scraps.”
“Sounds about right.”
“The heart is a fragile muscle, easily broken and beaten and made sore. But it can be made stronger, kinder.”
“Of course.” La Carroñera picked up the sleeping chihuahua.
“Do you need anything?”
“The wheat is transformed into bread, the seed into stalks, and the grass into milk. Change and rebirth, they are a part of life. All of us must change, it is only natural that the two of us have done so.”
“Bread… stalks… milk…” The goddess muttered before seemingly figuring the riddle out.
“You want Molletes for breakfast?” Oroitz smiled
“The sun shines with a smile each day, even when clouds cover it, so it is.”
“I’ll make you some. Have fun reading.” She kissed his temple.
“Golden both in truth and spirit, but like gold, hidden within a sharp rock. Only with skilled hands is the precious stone revealed.” Katalina could have sworn Oroitz was looking directly at her when he said that. Strange. The two of them left the room, leaving Oroitz in his armchair still looking after Katalina with a vacant smile.
-
Katalina’s spell of sleepiness broke as soon as her host closed the door behind them.
“I’m sorry, it’s always a bit much to go in there when you’re not used to it.” La Carroñera looked a little embarrassed.
“I’m fine, it’s alright.”
“Then again, Lola always falls asleep as soon as she goes in there and I’ve had her for about three years now.” The goddess scratched the sleeping chihuahua behind the ears.
“Ay que lindo.” Katalina cooed, looking at the dog and reaching out to pet her.
“Careful. She’ll take your fingers off.”
Katalina pulled her hand away.
“Come on. I still have to take them outside.” She began walking away and Katalina followed behind her.
-
They made a pit stop in the dining hall only long enough for the goddess to teleport a plate of Molletes off the table presumably to Oroitz’s room before they continued on their way to the garden.
“You going to eat anything?”
La Carroñera shrugged.
“Does It matter? It’s not like I can starve to death.”
“Still.”
“I’m not really a food person.”
’That explains why she’s so skinny.’ Katalina thought.
-
When the two of them reached the garden, a few human servants were already there. They froze in place when they saw the goddess enter the garden and quickly hurried away as soon as they were able to. The young goddess hung her head, trying to hide her face behind a curtain of her hair. She gently pinched Lola on the scruff of her neck, causing the chihuahua to awaken so she could put her down. The dogs took off to go about their business in the garden and the goddess sat on the edge of the fountain in the garden.
“They shouldn’t be afraid of you.” Katalina said.
“Nobody should. You’re just a kid.”
“A kid with powers of extreme destruction.” La Carroñera said.
“And besides that, you’re someone who’s hurting, Carroñera.”
“Carroñera isn’t my name.”
“I know, but—“
“It’s an ugly name!” The goddess snapped.
“It means ‘The Scavenger’! That’s how everyone sees me! As filth! As a waste of space!”
There was a moment of silence.
“And now that’s how you will too…” The goddess drew her knees to her chest. Katalina sighed and sat next to her.
“You know, the first time I ever faced a real war, I was only seventeen. I had just gotten to the main continent of Europe, and we came across a field where there had been a battle. Enemies from both sides slaughtered and left to rot. It was summer and the smell was awful, the soldiers pulled up their collars to keep from inhaling any germs.”
Katalina could almost feel the heat of that day and smell the decay and blood of the field, but she kept going.
“But the colonel I was serving under then, he’d been a soldier for a long time. He said to us ‘don’t worry. Look.’ And pointed out the vultures on the battlefield, digging into the corpses left behind. All of us were disgusted, and then he told us;
’miren el disgusto que tienen tontos. Look at these birds and know you owe your life to them. They’re cleaning up for us, keeping disease from us. Be grateful to them for happily doing a job that would send you to your death.’
I never looked at the scavenging animals the same after that.”
Katalina looked over at the Goddess.
“Being a scavenger, being a soldier, is a hard, messy, awful job. But someone’s gotta do it to make sure everyone else is happy and healthy.”
There was a few beats of silence.
“Why aren’t you afraid of me?” The Goddess asked.
“I was a soldier for a good part of my life. I learned a long time ago how to read someone’s whole story by looking into their eyes. When I can actually see yours, whoever you are, I see that you’re not as scary as they say you are. I see that you’re someone who’s burdened. Why would I be scared of that?”
The Goddess looked up, Her verdant green eyes shining with unshed tears.
“My name is Etapalli.” She corrected for the first time. Katalina smiled.
“And I’m Katalina.”

Chapter 13

Summary:

Who knew Red would be her color?

Notes:

TW: Self Deprecation, Mentioned Minor Character Death

Chapter Text

“Look what I brought.” Katalina said, presenting a makeshift bouquet of red flowers to Etapalli.
“Oh. Flowers. Sorry, I don’t really have anywhere to put them.” Etapalli’s face flushed a little.
“Tonterías, I’ve got a better idea. Sit down on the floor in front of that chair over there.” The human gestured to a floral papasan chair in the sitting area of the room. Etapalli nodded and went over to the chair with Katalina following her. She sat on the floor expectantly and Katalina sat on her knees in the chair behind her to be able to reach her hair. The former colonel put the flowers down next to her and began to braid Etapalli’s black hair.
“Your hair is really soft, like feathers.” Katalina commented as she worked through the dark tresses.
“Whatever you use on it, I’ve got to get some.”
“My mamá taught us to use coconut oil on our hair. Well, for those of us who have hair.”
“I’m sure your Papá could use it on his beard too.”
“Oh, I was talking about my brother. He just doesn’t have any hair. Never has.”
“Which brother? I’ve only met four of them.”
“Jack. He doesn’t live at home anymore. He has his own realm.”
“That’s nice.”
“Not really. Since I can’t leave the castle I don’t get to see him as often now because he’s so busy.”
“Do You miss him?”
“A lot. He left home when I was a baby, but when he does visit he always brings presents. I used to climb on him like a tree when I was little.”
“I get what you mean. I have a brother and a sister.”
“Just the two?”
“Sí. I had to leave them behind when I left home, and I didn’t see them again until… Well…”
“You… died?” Etapalli asked. Katalina finished off the braid and looked around in her pockets for something to tie it off with before settling on a bit of red ribbon left over from a box of candy she’d brought home from the market the night before.
“I guess. I mean, my sister is down here. I get to see her every day. But my brother is still alive. I see him every Dia De Los Muertos.”
“But he can’t see you.”
“No. He can’t.”
“Was he older or younger?”
“Younger. I was six when he was born. His name is Félix, Félix Sanchez.”
“I used to know a Sanchez. I think her name was Linda or something like that, but the memories are foggy. I was so little at the time.”
Katalina began to weave flowers into Etapalli’s braid.
“I used to braid her hair, because she was smaller than me.”
“I had a friend who did that when I was little. I can’t remember him too well, but we used to play together. It’s funny how sometimes you make friends and then you just never see them again.”
“I know that feeling.” Etapalli said. Katalina finished.
“Okay, I’m done. Go look in the mirror.”
Etapalli stood up and went to the blue vanity to look at herself and did a little twirl around to see Katalina’s handiwork fully.
“I-It’s beautiful! Thank you!” She turned around to face Katalina with a bright smile that sent a tingling feeling through the former colonel’s chest.
“I think red might just be your color. I rarely see you in it, but it looks good on you.”
The Goddess blushed.
“It’s more my mamá’s color but… thank you. That’s very nice.”
It was at that moment there was a soft knock on the door.
“Palli, Mija, can I come in?” La Muerte’s voice sounded from the other side of the door. Before Etapalli and Katalina could think to do anything, the older Goddess opened the doors and came into the room.
“Uh—Hola, Mamá! I swear this isn’t what it looks like!” Etapalli panicked
“I’m not here against my will, señora.” Katalina jumped in to defend her.
“I’ve been visiting for the past week and a half, I just thought—“ Katalina was interrupted by La Muerte crossing the room to Etapalli, who gripped her skirt anxiously. La Muerte put a hand on her shoulder and gently cupped her daughter’s cheek with her other hand.
“It’s okay, mi niña. I’m glad you’re making some new friends. I just wanted to tell you that your father and I are leaving for a pantheon meeting. Reyes, Tonalli, and Alazne are coming with us, but Itzal is here if you and Xochiquen need anything. You all know how to contact us.”
“Yes mamá.”
La Muerte hugged Etapalli.
“I love you, Palli. Don’t forget that, okay?”
Etapalli nodded and cautiously hugged her back, separating after a moment or two.
“You look beautiful, Mija.” The queen of the remembered said to her before turning to leave. Before she left, she turned to Katalina.
“Gracias, Lina.” She said with a smile. Then, she teleported away in a flurry of glitter and flower petals, leaving the girls alone.
-
“Why are you afraid of your mamá?” Katalina asked as the two of them walked through the gardens. Etapalli froze while fiddling with an orchid.
“What makes you think that?”
“You seem tense around her. Really tense. When she came into your room you started panicking, and you froze up when she touched you. I didn’t think she was the kind to hurt her kids but…”
“She doesn’t. She’s never laid a finger on any of us. Either way, it’s none of your business.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Katalina said, continuing to walk alongside Etapalli in silence for a while. Then, after an uncomfortable amount of time, the Goddess spoke.
“It’s not that I’m afraid of her hurting me. I’m just… I don’t want to get close to her.”
“Why?”
“Look at me, Katalina.” Etapalli said, stopping and turning to face Katalina fully in all of her divine glory.
“Could someone like her ever really love a monster like me?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I’ve seen awful things, I’ve done awful things. My mamá is the perfect queen of the remembered, all flowers and smiles and forgiveness. And she got stuck with me.”
“What about your Papá?”
“What about him?”
“You could argue he’s a monster your mom got stuck with too. All tar and ectoplasm.”
“He has redeeming qualities. He’s always protected us kids as best he could and made sure we were happy. I don’t have anything like that.”
“Mierda, you have good qualities.”
“Like what?”
“You’re… well,” Katalina tried to find the right words.
“You’re resilient. One of the strongest people I’ve ever met, aside from my parents. Don’t tell them I said that or I’ll be in trouble. You try to do what you think is right, and wether you believe it or not, you’re a kind person.”
Etapalli huffed.
“People don’t just inherit good or bad from their families. They inherit both.”
“You’d be surprised how much bad in particular is in my family.”
“Are you kidding? My papá had to fight a giant embodiment of our family’s cruelty and sins the first time he ever came here!”
Etapalli was quiet, looking at the ground. Katalina took her hand.
“I don’t know if I’ve been exactly where you are now, but I’ve been broken for a long time too. All I know is that even with how much I struggle now, it’s better than it was years ago.”
“Does your mamá look at You and see a monster?”
“No. And neither does yours.”
“How do You know?”
“My eyes, remember? I can see it as clear as day.”
Katalina went in for the kill.
“She loves you, but she doesn’t know how to help you. She wants to, I can tell. You just need to talk to her. Who wouldn’t love you after they got the chance to know you?”
Etapalli was quiet, but her fingers tore at the leaves she’d plucked off a few plants anxiously.
“I obviously don’t know everything you’ve been through. I don’t know your family history all too well. But, I do know that almost everyone has some sort of redeeming quality.”
Etapalli looked up at her.
Almost?
If Katalina could blush, she would have done so in embarrassment.
“Listen, I spent a quarter of my life fighting the Nazis.”
Etapalli pursed her lips.
“Point taken.” She said with a slight smile. The two of them laughed a little, and then Etapalli trailed off.
“I just… My family’s history is really dark. My own uncle, who died centuries before I was born, was so evil and power hungry that he wiped out half the pantheon at the time. He’s the reason the Celestials have so many rules put into place, to keep the rest of us from acting out. My mother’s older sister was killed in that battle.”
“I’m so sorry… I didn’t know.”
“Most living humans don’t. Most if not all of the humans who were alive to witness it have all been forgotten, and the artifacts were either destroyed in colonization or haven’t been deciphered yet… At least by those in power. The people of Teca will always remember, even if they think it’s just a fairytale.”
“That’s so stupid.”
“It’s not like we can go up there and knock some sense into them. Ancient rules, not allowed to interfere. I’m not even allowed to leave the castle grounds. My point is that… With that family history, it’s no wonder I turned out this way.”
“But you’re not like your uncle. I mean, I don’t know him, but I know you’re not like that.”
“The fear I’ve seen in my mother’s eyes when she looks at me tells me otherwise. Even if she wasn’t afraid, she’s disappointed.”
“So? My mom is a vegetarian who ended up raising a soldier and a bullfighter. She was super scared when I left for war. I know for a damn fact she was disappointed in my sister for becoming a bullfighter. But she still loves us. Even if your mom is disappointed in you, she still loves you.”
“What about the fear?”
“I would think if she was a good mother—and from what I’ve seen, she is—she would be afraid for you and not of you.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Yeah, I do. But it doesn’t matter what I think. I know it’s scary but you should try talking to her. I know she’s probably just waiting for you to reach out.”
“I…I don’t think I’m ready yet… But thank you.”
“Neither of us are going anywhere. Just take your time.”
-
Two Gods watched the pair from a window in a tower of the castle.
“You were right, Muertita. I haven’t seen her smile like that in years.” Xibalba said, looking down at his youngest daughter in the garden.
“I may have lied when I said I was happy she was making new friends. After all, that girl isn’t new at all.” La Muerte said.
“Do you think they know?”
“No. I don’t think they remember. Even then, the last time they saw each other was before Etapalli transitioned. If Katalina did remember her, it would be as a little boy.”
The two Gods watched as Etapalli began to weave white flowers into Katalina’s hair. Xibalba smiled fondly.
“What do you say we make a bet of it, my love? Wether they ever figure out that their fates are intertwined.”
“Oh, Balbi. Why make a bet of it when we both can see what’s going to happen?”

Chapter 14

Summary:

Katalina thinks back to her childhood for help.

Notes:

TW: Mentions of Drug Use, Implied Unspecified Eating Disorder

Chapter Text

“Mamá?” Katalina asked over dinner one night, nearly unheard under the commotion of most of the family.
“Yes Lina?” María replied to her daughter.
“You used to paint with me when I had a bad day, right?”
“Sí, we used to paint together. There were two ways to calm you down as a child, either giving you something to rip apart or something to create. Mireya was solely the kind to rip stuff apart, but you always seemed to feel better quicker when you were doing something like painting or working in the garden.”
“Can I borrow some of your painting stuff, like the easel and a canvas or two? Maybe some of the paints you don’t use anymore?”
“Of course you can, vida. But can I ask, is something wrong?”
“No. Not with me. I just…” Katalina tried to calculate what to say in her head, feeling like she couldn’t just drop a bombshell like ’Well mama, I’ve become friends with one of the most feared goddesses in the land of the remembered who has the power to kill me if she wants to.’ at the dinner table.
“I recently made a new friend.”
“Oh, yes, I’ve been waiting to hear more about her, this ‘not so bad Girl’ of yours.” Maria rested her cheek on her hand in interest.
“Well, we met about a month ago. I can’t really say a whole lot but she’s had a very bad past. She has a lot of problems with her emotions and stuff. She’s really a nice person when you get to know her, but she’s… You know, haunted. Has a lot of emotion to get out and isn’t allowed to get it out.”
“So you want to bring her some of my painting stuff?”
“If that’s okay with you.”
“Of course it is. Do you need help carrying it? It’s a lot of stuff.”
Katalina thought for a moment. Well, her mother would find out eventually, but she’d prefer if it wasn’t now.
“No thanks. My friend is under a lot of stress right now. I don’t want to bring anyone new into her home without consulting her or her family, it’s already taken a lot for her to open up to me.”
“I understand…” María fiddled with her hands for a moment.
“Can I ask you something without you getting angry at me?”
“It depends.” Katalina raised an eyebrow.
“You care for this girl. You’re doing a lot for her, whoever she is.”
“Sí?”
“You’ve always been so strong, Katalina. It’s one of the things I admire about you the most. But… I’ve always noticed you have the tendency to ignore yourself by helping other people first. I don’t doubt your heart is in the right place but… Do you think you might be subconsciously using this girl to avoid your own problems?”
“Problems? I’m totally fine.”
“Mija, you’re a smoker and an opioid user who stays out late doing who knows who or what half the time and has night terrors at least once a week.
I don’t say anything because I don’t want to seem judgy and I know logically you can’t get physically hurt if you’re already dead, but I worry so much about you. I’ve been around soldiers and listened to scientists long enough to know that those actions are a response to trauma.
You know I support you and love you, you know I do, but I don’t want you to try and bury your own problems by sacrificing yourself for someone else like you’ve always done. You deserve help too.”
Katalina groaned.
“Mamá, por favor. You’re going to cause a scene. I don’t need all of La Familia Sanchez to know my problems.”
María sighed.
“You’re right. That’s your own business. Just… Please don’t ignore yourself.”
“I guess. But it’s like you said, mamá. Nothing can really hurt me down here.”
-
Two days later, Katalina towed a small wagon of art supplies to the castle of the remembered. She had to get checked by the castle security, of course, but it was going to be worth it in the long run.
When she entered the castle, Tonalli was the first to see her.
“Oh, wow!” He grinned looking at the wagon.
“I know the perfect empty spare room if you’d like me to help you set up there! We have a lot of empty rooms here for guests.”
“Oh, would you? I don’t want to take up your time.”
“I have the day off, it’s really no problem. I’ll get help too, just give me a moment.”
Tonalli teleported away in a cloud of glitter, leaving Katalina alone for about five minutes before he teleported back with a young godling who looked about nine or ten years old, a godling that Katalina would know anywhere.
“Xochiquen, is that you?” She smiled.
“You know me?” The boy asked.
“Oh! You talk now! Last time I saw you you were just a toddler.”
“Yeah, our piltontli here has grown up so much, hasn’t he?” Tonalli pinched Xochiquen’s cheek teasingly. Xochiquen smacked his hand away.
“¡me estás avergonzando!” His green face flushed.
“Anyway, my little brother and I would be more than happy to help you carry all this to the spare room, seeing as it’s easier for us to get this upstairs as we can fly.”
“Which room are we using, Tonalli?”
“That one overlooking the fish pond on the fifth floor.”
“Oh, that’s a good one. Let me help you, Señora.” Xochquen took a load of stuff out of the wagon, evidently very strong for a child his age… or perhaps average for a god his age. Tonalli picked up his own load of stuff, leaving minimal stuff for Katalina to carry.
“Leave the wagon here. Just shout for us when you’re done whatever you’re doing.”
“I can’t thank you enough.” Katalina said, taking the leftovers out.
-
It turned out she could, in fact, thank them enough. Seeing as they made her walk up five flights of stairs. Katalina hated to admit it but she was out of shape, and she didn’t even have her old shape.
“We’re here!” Xochiquen said in a singsong voice as he floated to the door and opened it telekinetically.
“He’s showing off a bit because he just learned how to move stuff with his mind.” Tonalli explained to Katalina.
“Next I’m teaching myself how to blow up Reyes’ pancakes with my mind.” The godling grinned.
“I’d also love to do that. I wish I had god powers.” Said Katalina.
“Well the first step to getting them is to become a God, which no pure human has ever done before.” Tonalli said, setting up an Easel.
“What do you mean ‘pure’ human?” Katalina asked.
“Well, there have been cases of demigods becoming Gods after their death. It happened to one of our cousins way before any of us were born. But even then, they were half God. Regular humans like you becoming Gods? Unheard of.” Tonalli explained.
“Plus even if you could become a God, you’d need to go through Ah Puch and the other celestials.” Xochiquen followed up.
“If you aren’t born a God, that’s who you go through.”
“And even then, it’s extremely dangerous. Plus, humans usually want to be Gods for all the wrong reasons. What would you even be the God of?
Katalina thought.
“Not sure. Probably some shit like destruction or war or devastation.” Katalina shrugged as she prepared the paints.
“I dunno. I just want the power to cuss out Reyes’ without getting killed.”
“Everyone does, soldadita.” Tonalli grinned.
“Everyone does.”
-
“Where are You taking me?” Etapalli asked.
“You’ll see. This is going to be fun.” Katalina told her as she led her to the spare room she’d set up.
“You do realize there’s nothing in that room, right?”
“That’s what you think.”
“Oye, you do realize I live here, ¿recuerdas?”
“Sí, sí, lo recuerdo.” Katalina fumbled with the door handle.
“Then I think I’d know better than you-“
The door opened.
“…What’s… in… this… room…” Etapalli looked around.
“Surprise!” Katalina grinned.
“What is all this?”
“Well, you have a lot of emotion that you’ve always had trouble getting out, right?”
“…I guess.”
“When I was a kid, my mamá would paint with me whenever I had a bad day. It helped me get my emotions out. I thought maybe it might help you.”
“But I’ve never really used paints. I mean, I have a few sketchbooks I’ve filled up, but I’ve never painted anything.”
“You don’t need to paint anything in particular, you just… Turn your emotions into color and slap it on the canvas. Don’t try to paint objects or people, just make it look like how you feel inside.”
Etapalli thought it over.
“I-I’ll try it.” She said, walking over to the seat that had been set up for her and sitting down in front of the canvas.
“Just let me know if you want me to help you, okay?” Katalina told her.
“…Okay.” Etapalli gave her a shy smile and picked up a brush.
-
Katalina doodled in her sketchbook in a nearby chair while Etapalli worked at the easel. Occasionally she would look up to find the goddess intensely focused on the canvas, swiping her brush across it and occasionally picking up a palette knife to make aggressive streaks with red paint.
“I think I need some help.” Etapalli said after about an hour and a half. Katalina shut her sketchbook and stood up, crossing the room to Etapalli.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m trying to connect these lines in a better way but I’m having trouble deciding what to do. I want to make it into some kind of picture.”
Katalina stood behind Etapalli and looked at the picture, colors and gears turning in her mind.
“I have an idea.” She came around to the front of Etapalli.
“May I sit in your lap?”
“Huh?!” Etapalli’s face turned bright red.
“I-Uh! I-I guess!”
“Just so I can help you, Diosa.”
Etapalli shifted her legs so Katalina could sit comfortably between her thighs, allowing the human to sit down. Katalina, once situated, took Etapalli’s hand to guide it.
“If we take a few darker shades of red here with the brush...” She guided her hand to the palette to pick up a soft shade of maroon on the brush before leading it to the canvas.
“Paint in between the vermillion lines here with this darker color, like this…” As Katalina led Etapalli’s hand along the canvas, she became acutely aware of just how close they were together. The Goddess was pressed fully against her back, stiff as a board as the human guided her hand. After a moment or two, she hesitantly brought her free arm to rest casually around Katalina’s waist, which would have earned a blush from the former colonel if she still had flesh or blood.
“Now let’s put this brush away… and let’s use green.” Etapalli picked up another brush and dipped it in the green as instructed before Katalina once again began to guide her hand along the canvas, this time making a slightly curvy line from the bottom of the red figure going down, painting leaves and thorns. Finally, Katalina took her hand off hers and let Etapalli finish.
“Now look.” She said.
What had once been a few abstract, angry red lines had now been turned into a blossoming red rose, and Etapalli marveled at it, her grip around Katalina’s waist tightening.
“We made something beautiful. You made something beautiful.”
“It is pretty… But…”
“But what?”
Etapalli let go of Katalina’s waist.
“Somehow my emotions feel… bigger than this canvas. Like I need more to let it all out.”
Katalina thought for a moment.
“I think I might have an idea. Does your family have any old sheets they’re going to throw out?”
-
“Alright.” Katalina said, looking at the large white sheet that had been hung from the wall and trailed a little along the floor.
“You wanna know what to do now?” She asked, turning to face Etapalli.
“What do I do now?”
“Go absolutely insane.” Katalina poured red paint into a dish on the part of the sheet that dragged on the floor.
“So just like, finger paint?”
“Whatever you want! Scream and throw paint at the wall, rip the fabric apart, whatever makes you feel better!”
Etapalli stepped onto the sheet and unbuckled her sandals, which she then tossed aside. She stuck her hands into the red paint and pressed them against the sheet. She waited a bit before taking them off, and then took some more red in her hands and splattered it across the white like bloodstains. Katalina could see a light fill the goddess’s eyes as she began to smear paint wildly across the sheet.
She began to become more erratic, grabbing different colors in her hands and splashing them against the fabric, even going as far as to step into the dishes and leave colorful footprints along the sheet that covered the floor. Paint flew everywhere as the goddess painted crude images of fire and red handprints and sprayed colors across the higher parts of the fabric like the Milky Way.
Etapalli turned to her friend, her green eyes glittering like jewels of emotion, and inadvertently flung green paint into her direction where it splattered along her face and hair. A grin spread across Katalina’s face, and the human took off her own leather sandals and stepped onto the sheet with the goddess, where she collected some black paint in her hand and flung it right at Etapalli’s blouse. It was on.
There was a melody of laughs, squeals, and screams from the room as the two women threw paint at both the sheets and each other. Droplets of color flew through the air as they erased the original white of the cotton fabric and replaced it with a universe’s worth of colors and small finger drawings. Katalina offered Etapalli her hand and the two began to dance joyfully through the slippery paint together, leaving vibrant footprints all along their large canvas and leaving rainbow handprints on their clothes and skin until eventually Etapalli slipped in a tray of yellow paint and fell backwards onto the floor, knocking over all the dishes of paint around them and splattering color across the floor. Katalina fell on top of her into the color, and the two women laid there laughing in the mess even as tears filled their eyes and their ribs got sore.
After a moment or so, the door flew open.
“¡Santa Gordita! What have you two DONE?!” A voice thundered helplessly. Etapalli and Katalina sat up and looked at the intruder, who, much to their dismay, was none other than Reyes.
“Ohhhh no, por todo lo que es puro y sagrado! What were you thinking?! There’s paint everywhere! Now I have to clean all this up! Ay dioses, Mamá and Papá are going to kill you when they see—see, this is why you’re not allowed to have fun!” Reyes, in an instant, turned from lamenting over the mess to chewing out his sister.
“Don’t you know you make a mess out of everything?! It’s so unfair, you think you’re so high and mighty that you can just screw around and leave everyone else to clean up after you because you’re a spoiled princesita! Well, I’m here to tell you that you can’t just—“
Reyes didn’t get to finish his reprimanding because Etapalli took a large amount of red paint in her hands and threw it in his face, earning a scream from the elder God as he tried to wipe it away, the red staining his white gloves. Katalina covered her mouth and bit her hand to keep from laughing while Etapalli stood and looked at him with a smug grin on her face.
“Oh, pequeña horrible... ¡Uf!” Reyes teleported away angrily. Once he was gone, Katalina allowed herself to laugh, her knees buckling underneath her as she dropped to kneel in the paint, laughing so hard she felt her ribs cracking.
“Wha—Was it that funny?!” Etapalli asked. Katalina could only nod.
“I’ve never seen you laugh this hard!”
“I’ve never seen YOU laugh this hard!” Katalina managed to get out in between laughs. Etapalli snorted and allowed herself to break down laughing, tears falling down her face and leaving trails through the paint that covered her face. The two sat together as one on the sheet, laughing harder than they’d laughed in decades.
-
“I’m sorry again about your dress. It was so pretty and white too.” Etapalli apologized, wringing out her wet hair after her bath.
“no te preocupes. Está bien, I promise. It was an old dress anyway.” Katalina said.
“I can see if I can weave you a pretty huipil or something to make up for it, although I am a bit rusty.”
“Nah. I’m good with this old dress of yours for now.”
“It’s a blouse. It’s supposed to be a shirt. You’re just small.”
“I still look killer in it.” Katalina twirled around, the black fabric spinning with her.
“You do look nice…” Etapalli said quietly, watching her with a pink tinge to her cheeks. After a half moment of silence, the goddess cleared her throat.
“A-Are you sure your family will be okay with you spending the night? I mean, it’s really late and I would hate for you to walk home alone with all your stuff.”
“I promise it’s fine, princesa. I stay out all night all the time. Besides, nothing can kill me if I’m already dead.”
Etapalli looked a bit concerned but nodded. Katalina took her hand.
“Would you be so kind as to lead me to the dining room? I’m starved.”
“Of course, Soldadita.”
-
All of the gods Katalina had met in the castle were at the dining table. La Muerte welcomed her guest and daughter warmly and led them to their seats, where Katalina was sat between Etapalli and Xochiquen and directly across from Oroitz. She could feel Reyes glaring flaming daggers at her from further down the table, but tried not to pay him any mind. There was one god who sat across from Reyes she didn’t recognize, a god with black and green skin and black hair that was shaved on one side who wore all sorts of shades of black and dark blue.
“That’s mi Hermano, Itzal. You can say hi later, but he won’t talk to you. El Ermitaño talks to no-one.” Etapalli whispered to her.
“I heard you had an eventful day, Mija.” La Muerte said to Etapalli.
“Sí. I did.”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“Well… Lina thought it would be good to use painting to help get my emotions out. She said she and her mamá used to do it when she was alive.”
“Is that so?” La Muerte looked over at Katalina, who was in the process of finishing off a carnita. Not wanting to be rude, she simply nodded while she chewed.
“Sí, Señora.” Katalina said after she swallowed.
“We may have gotten… a little carried away, but I think it was fun.”
“Oh, I forgot to clean up the room!” Etapalli went to stand up but Xibalba, at the other end of the table, put his hand out.
“Stay here, pájarito. I cleaned up for you while you two were cleaning yourselves up. We’re gods, remember? Well, most of us.” He looked over at Katalina awkwardly.
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re fine.” Katalina assured him, loading up her plate with some more food. As if by chance, she happened to eye Etapalli’s plate. It was empty except for one lonely tamale and one elote.
“Ay, Palli, you eat like a bird! Look at your plate!”
“What’s wrong with my plate?”
“It’s nearly empty and you haven’t even touched what’s there. Dale aquí.” She held out her hand. Etapalli cautiously handed her the plate and the entire table quieted to watch the scenario unfold. Katalina put two more tamales on the plate as well as some albondigas, a couple poblanos, and some fried plantains with cheese and cream. Then, she handed it back to her friend.
“Even as a guest, I can’t let you eat so little in good consciousness. Even when I was at war and we had limited rations, I still hunted and foraged just to make sure my troops had a full meal. Now we’re going to stay here until you eat at least three quarters of that, put some meat on your bones. Okay?”
Etapalli looked her up and down.
“You’re one to talk about meat on your bones.” She said quiet and teasingly. Katalina gave her a deadly look that caused the Goddess to turn her attention to her full plate and cautiously began eating at it. The meal resumed and from across the table, Alazne gave Katalina a nod of approval. La Muerte and Xibalba exchanged a knowing look, and Etapalli ate her dinner.
-
“See, you were hungry. Have you been starving yourself?” Katalina asked on the way back to the hall that contained both Etapalli’s room and the room she would be sleeping in. The goddess in question had completely cleaned her plate and then had two slices of tres leches cake for dessert, much to the surprise of everyone present.
“I don’t really have the best relationship with food, especially if I don’t prepare it myself.” Etapalli said sheepishly.
“Did someone insult your weight? Believe me, you look fine. Even if you were stockier, you’d still look great.”
“No, no. Nothing like that. I’d rather not talk about it right now, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course. Just…” Katalina took her hand.
“Know that I’m here for you. Whenever you need me. All you have to do is ask.”
Etapalli blushed a little.
“Thanks.”
“Can I ask about something else, though?”
“I guess.”
“Why have I never seen you use your powers? Your siblings and parents seem to use their magic all the time, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you use even a single spell.”
Etapalli looked away a little.
“Well…” She looked back at Katalina.
“You saw the chains around my wings back at the plaza, right?”
“Yeah?”
“That’s a binding spell. My powers can be really destructive, so when I was released to my family from prison, they put a spell on me to make sure I wouldn’t get up to any more trouble. It suppresses my powers and also keeps me from being able to fly.”
“That’s horrible!”
“It’s not permanent, at least. House arrest, the binding spell, it all ends when I turn eighteen. That’s when my sentence is up.”
“When do you turn eighteen?”
Etapalli thought for a moment.
“In about two and a half years.”
“How long have you had this spell on you? How long have you been confined to this castle?”
“…About fourteen human years.”
Katalina felt rage boiling inside her. This poor girl who couldn’t go ten minutes without apologizing for something had been locked up and isolated from everyone but her family for fourteen entire years, that was just about 3/4 of Katalina’s entire human lifespan.
“That’s awful! They shouldn’t do this to you, Palli! Can’t they see you’re a good person?! Can’t they see you’re just someone who makes mistakes?!”
Etapalli shrugged.
“Maybe they just don’t see what you do.”
“Bullshit. That’s complete fucking bullshit. I’m going to march to wherever these stupid celestials are and show them the wrath of a fucking war hero if they don’t let you loose a little! You’re a good person and you deserve so much, so WHAT if you made a mistake? I mean, I don’t know your full story and I don’t care if you don’t ever want to tell me, but I know for a fact you’re not a monster. I will show them that Etapalli, Princess of the remembered and the forgotten, goddess of vengeance, and scavenger of the Gods is a beautiful, kind-hearted, flawed person who deserves a break.”
Etapalli had a soft smile on her face when Katalina looked up at her, huffing in anger. They had reached their destination.
“You have a pure, brave heart, mi soldadita. Never change that.” Etapalli leaned down and kissed her temple.
“Thank you for today, Lina. Buenas Noches.” She went into her bedroom and shut the door carefully behind her. Katalina touched her temple where the Goddess’s rosebud lips had pressed against her skull and wished she had flesh.
“…Buenas Noches…” She whispered before retreating into her own guest room.

Chapter 15

Summary:

The weight of the world is hard to hold sometimes

Notes:

TW: Blood, Nightmares, Guns, Panic Attacks, Mentions of Abortion, Period Typical Racism,

Chapter Text

Katalina found herself in the forest of black and white once again. The snow fell to the ground around her and everything was completely silent. She looked down at herself and found she was in her old uniform and her hands were once more covered in flesh.
“I’m alive?” Katalina questioned, flexing her hands. Then, the snow began to move. It began to build itself up into human figures right before her eyes.
The first figure took the form of a familiar boy with olive skin and curly brown hair.
“Hershel…”
“You’re an idiot. I mean, joining the army for me? Did I ask you to do that?”
“I just wanted to help.”
“That’s what’s the problem here. You think you’re helping people, but you’re not. You’re just hurting everyone. You were just a burden on me.”
Suddenly, Katalina felt an invisible weight pressing down on her shoulders. As she held it up, another figure appeared in the snow.
“The blood of so many is on your hands. It isn’t right for a woman to have that on her conscience.” Tristán said.
“You should have just come with me, instead you murdered our baby and got me demoted for your sin.”
“I was seventeen! You think I wanted to drop everything and get married and raise a child in a world full of war?! I couldn’t bring a child into that!”
“And now you never will.” Two voices said from behind her. More weight fell on Katalina’s back as she turned around. Two German soldiers stood behind her covered in blood.
“It’s probably a good thing too. I mean, an animal like you putting more little animals out into the world? It’s obscene.”
“The little filthy girl wants to play soldier, how cute.”
“Shut up! You’re dead, and you’re nothing.” Katalina shouted at them. More soldiers started to rise behind them.
“A correction, princesa,” Tristán said with the cocking of a gun.
You are nothing.” More weight fell on Katalina’s shoulders, and when she was able to look up she found that she was carrying the entire world on her back. Suddenly, the bodies of Mexican soldiers started to fall from the sky and land on the globe she was holding, the added weight causing her knees to buckle as she tried to keep everything up.
Then, there was a gunshot and Katalina felt a stinging in her arm. Hershel was holding a gun.
Another bullet hit her in her inner thigh. Tristán was holding a gun.
A bullet hit her neck and another one hit her knee. The German soldiers were both holding guns.
The bullets kept flying and Katalina found herself without clothes, only able to watch in horror as her flesh dissolved off her and turned into blood, exposing her bones. The weight kept increasing and even standing made her ache. Blood started to pour down on her from the globe and soon she couldn’t tell what blood had come from her and what had come from those she was trying so hard to carry on her back.
“Where’s your fight, girl?! Come on! You can take it, Katalina!” A disembodied voice shouted at her.
“This is your burden, Katalina! If you fail now they’ll all die!”
“You’ve already failed, woman.” Tristán said, and Katalina could see that her blood was being absorbed by the figures standing around her, which had multiplied into every human she’d ever known.
“Save us.”
“You pathetic thing.”
“You can’t.”
“You’ve failed.”
“You’ve failed.”
“You‘ve failed.”
“Lina.”

-
Katalina woke up with a cry and sat upright in bed, knocking her head against something.
“Ow!” The something whimpered as it recoiled slightly.
“Hey, hey, hey. Cálmate, Cálmate. It’s okay. It’s just me.” Etapalli tried to soothe her. If Katalina had a heart, it would be hammering in her chest.
“It’s okay, it was just a nightmare. I’m here.”
“N-No…”
“Katalina, look at me.” Etapalli took her hand and held it against her cheek.
“It’s me, I’m real.”
Katalina began to calm down a little, feeling the goddess’s soft, firm skin under her hand. She briefly remembered being told once that gods were made of different substances that weren’t flesh, and even more briefly wondered what Etapalli was made of.
“Wha-Wha-?”
“I was going to get some water and I heard you crying, so I came to check on you.”
Katalina tried to dry the tears from her face.
“E-Estoy bien.” She argued.
“Hey, no, no. No you are not. Come on, it’s okay now, please talk to me.”
“I-I don’t want to—“ Katalina looked up at Etapalli, concern written all over her lovely face, and the dams broke. She sobbed and felt herself be collected into the Goddess’s strong arms.
-
“And then I woke up here.” Katalina finished before taking a sip of the cold water Etapalli had gotten for her.
“Oh, Lina…”
“I’m not the kind person you think I am. I don’t even know why you’d take an interest in a human like me.”
“You are kind. Look at how much you’ve sacrificed for everyone. That’s more than a human should have to bear. Me, I’ve only ever done things for myself. I wish I could be just half as selfless as you are.”
Katalina looked down at her glass of water. Etapalli sighed and put her hand on the human’s.
“You know… I always wondered what had happened to you. You rarely talk about your life before all this, and only talk about your childhood. I wondered why you were so young, what got you down here when you should have lived a full life. Now I know. We have the opposite problem.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were too selfless. I was too selfish. And yet, somehow we found each other.”
“I don’t think you’re selfish.”
“We’re not gonna get into my story tonight. It’s my turn to comfort you, not the other way around.” Etapalli put the water on the nightstand.
“Come here.” Katalina shifted closer to the goddess, cuddling against her warm chest.
“You didn’t deserve what happened to you. You shouldn’t be responsible for carrying the world. You’re only human.”
The Goddess ran her fingers through the human’s soft hair.
“You’re safe now, as long as I’m around. I’ve got you.”
For some reason, for the first time in years, Katalina found herself believing it.
“I’m here.”
Katalina felt her eyelids droop and her head slump against Etapalli’s shoulder, and then she was gone.
-
She awoke the next morning surrounded by warmth that wasn’t just from the blankets, it was the warmth of being alive that Katalina hadn’t felt in decades. She opened her eyes, thinking she might find herself once more covered in flesh, that the past decades had been some strange dream and she was once again a fifteen year old girl in a tiny town. Instead, she found something better.
Etapalli was asleep next to Katalina with one of her wings cocooning the human, covering her in a gentle warmth. The look on her face was peaceful, almost angelic, and Katalina felt validated in having known this side of her before she’d ever laid eyes on it.
She reached up slightly and ran her fingers along the black feathers surrounding her, finding them soft and smooth, and causing the goddess to squirm in her slumber. She retracted her hand and laid there watching the goddess’s chest rise and fall rhythmically as she slept. It had been a long time since she shared the living warmth of another, and even longer since it was chaste and innocent like this.
After a while, Etapalli’s eyelids fluttered and revealed her emerald green eyes.
“Buenos Días.” Katalina muttered.
“Tlanecic.” Etapalli said before yawning.
“What’s that? Nahuatl?”
Etapalli nodded.
“I didn’t know you spoke.
“Mamá taught all of us.”
“Maybe one day you can teach me… when I’m not half asleep.”
“One day…” Etapalli said with a smile before reaching out for Katalina’s hand.
“Did you have any more nightmares?”
“No. No, I slept well… And you?”
“I slept fine. I’m sorry I didn’t leave. I just… You looked so peaceful and I didn’t want to wake you by leaving, and I didn’t know if you’d have any more nightmares while I was gone so—“
“No, don’t apologize. I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
There was a comfortable silence between them that lasted a few moments before Etapalli broke it.
“So, are you staying for breakfast or do you want to go home?”
“What time is it?”
Etapalli propped herself up on the mattress to look at the old grandfather clock on the other side of the room.
“Nine thirty.”
“As much as I’d love to stay for breakfast, I should get home before my family decides to send out search parties.”
“I understand. I’ll help you carry your stuff as far as the gate if you want.”
“I just need help getting my stuff to the front door, so many stairs you know. But it would still be nice if you decided to walk me to the gate.”
Etapalli smiled.
“Of course.”
-
When they reached the gate, Katalina turned to look at her friend.
“Promise me you won’t just pick at a few fruits or something. Eat something that will give you energy, okay? You’re wasting away as it is.”
“I promise, I promise.”
Katalina smiled and took Etapalli’s hand, pressing a kiss against her pale flesh and picking up the taste of cocoa butter on her lips. Then, she turned and left.
Etapalli watched Katalina leave the castle grounds and wished she could walk with her, the kids still lingering on her hand. In the streets, Katalina walked home unaware that those precious-gem eyes were not the only ones on her.

Chapter 16

Summary:

La Carroñera has arrived.

Notes:

TW: attempted sexual assault. It goes nowhere, but it’s there. Proceed with caution.
Graphic Depictions of Violence, Arrest, Panic Attacks, Mentions of past character death, Sexism

Chapter Text

Three months into their friendship, Katalina asked Etapalli a question.
“Can I ask you something?” Katalina tuned her guitar.
“What is it?” Etapalli asked, throwing a tiny ball for Lola, who ran after it eagerly.
“You and your siblings are all pretty powerful, why do you specifically fear of turning out like your uncle?”
Etapalli was quiet, fiddling with her hands. Katalina looked up from her guitar.
“I’m sorry, that’s a dumb question.”
“No, no it isn’t. It’s just a hard one to answer.”
“It’s okay if you don’t have an answer.”
“I do have an answer. It’s just… not something I like to admit…”
Katalina put down her guitar and scootched closer to the goddess.
“You know me. You think I’m gonna judge?”
Etapalli looked at her, then at Lola who was pawing at her leg while holding the ball. Etapalli took the ball and threw it further.
“I… inherited something from my uncle. Only my parents and the celestials know about it, I haven’t even told Alazne and she’s closer to me than just about anyone.”
“Oh?”
“It‘s a rare, dangerous power. They call it Robo puksi'ik'al. Heart theft.”
“That doesn’t sound horrible. It sounds like they’re calling you charming.”
Etapalli turned red.
“C-Cállate.” She muttered.
“That’s sweet but… it’s not anything nice like that.”
Katalina cocked her head.
“Gods are thought to be immortal, but there’s two things that can kill a god. One of them is the venom of one of the seven serpents, seven brothers who could turn into monstrous two-headed snakes. The other is taking out or stabbing their heart.”
“Their heart?”
Etapalli nodded.
“A God’s heart is the source of their power and life. If someone takes away or stabs a God’s heart, the God in question will die and turn into a puddle of golden blood. No body, nothing. No coming back.”
“It’s that easy?”
“It’s not. Normal humans are usually completely incapable of it. It can only be done by death demigods or other Gods. Golden talismans can hurt a God, but they can’t usually kill them unless they’re wielded by the right person.”
“Wait… a golden talisman…” Gears in Katalina’s head turned and clicked together.
“Those guards who caught you when we met, they had golden spears!”
“They were given them specifically for me.”
“That’s awful! How could they treat you like this?!”
Etapalli tensed a little when Katalina shouted, so the human forced herself to calm down.
“Okay, so we’ve covered that. What does this mean for you?”
“I was cursed with heart theft, which means I can reach into someone’s chest and take out their life. I can completely erase someone from existence. I was born with the rare power to kill other Gods.”
The two sat in silence for a moment.
“That’s what my uncle did to a lot of the old pantheon. My parents had to go into hiding for a while to escape his clutches. Gods like Xtabay, Acat, Chivo, all of them had their hearts stolen and consumed by my uncle for power.”
“That’s awful. How did you—“
“When I was fourteen and on my vengeance streak. I was caught stealing from the gardens of the blessed by an angel knight. He grabbed me and began to harass me, calling me names and groping me. I only meant to shove him around to scare him off or even beat him up a little, but it went too far. I just meant to punch him, but the next thing I knew my hand had gone right through his chest without even leaving a wound. I felt something warm by my hand so I grabbed it. I could see him start to die. I tried to pull it out, but I was tackled and arrested by two other angel knights before I could go any further. That’s what got me thrown into prison and then placed on house arrest. I only got the light sentence because of my parents interfering and because it was proven that he’d assaulted me first.”
There was more silence.
“But you didn’t know. How could you have known?”
“I don’t know. It was covered up pretty well, my siblings didn’t find out about it. If anyone else had found out about it, I wouldn’t have gotten off so easily. I’d probably have either been banished or executed.”
“But you were a child. A child who was being attacked.”
“A child with blood already on her hands.”
“Still, a child. I was only a year older than you were then when I joined the army. One of my best friends was your age when he died in the same war I died in. It’s not fair.”
There was silence between them before Katalina continued.
“Look, you may have been dealt a bad hand, but what’s more important is how you deal with the bad hand you’ve been dealt. I’d say as far as it goes, you’re doing an okay job. I mean, you’ve only had one incident in, what? 87 human years of living? I’d say that’s a pretty good track record.”
She took Etapalli’s hand.
“I’m not afraid of you. I could never judge you for this. It’s not your fault. I’m not afraid of these hands.”
Etapalli smiled.
“You’re either a very brave or a very stupid human.”
Katalina gave her a look and shoved her playfully, accidentally knocking Etapalli backwards into the fountain they’d been sitting on the edge of with a splash.
“Ay Dios Mio! Are you okay?! I’m so—EEK!”
Katalina screamed as Etapalli pulled her down into the fountain next to her with a splash. Etapalli laughed.
“Now we’re even, Soldadita.”
Katalina laughed and spit water at Etapalli, earning a laughing shriek from the Goddess.
“A very stupid human, it is!” She splashed Katalina.
-
A day later, Katalina greeted Nandito, who had decided to come and visit for the weekend.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you got bigger, manito.” She said as she hugged her old friend.
“Maybe you’ve just been slacking on building up your muscles.” He teased.
“Neither of us have muscles, tonto!” She gave him a noogie. Nandito laughed and hugged her tightly.
“Te extrañé, Katalina.” She smiled softly.
“Yo también te extrañé, Nandito.”
-
“How are things in San Miguel, Nandito?” Manolo asked the boy over dinner.
“They’re okay. My tia abuela Clara just arrived a few weeks ago.” Nandito answered.
“Any news from the land of the living?” Carlos asked.
“My sister Imelda just had a third baby, a girl this time.”
“Felicidades, niño!” Mireya congratulated him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder in a half-hug.
“She kept in touch with Carlotta and Félix too, so I have stuff on them.”
“Why did you not open with that?!” Luis demanded.
“Cálmate, Papá Luis.” Katalina glared daggers at her great grandfather.
“He probably just got a little overexcited. Come on, out with it, Nandito.”
“Well, Ignacio is getting married in two months.”
“No way!” Maria clapped her hands together.
“Dioses, they grow up fast. Maybe we’ve just been down here too long.” Mireya said.
“He was only eight when I got down here. How old is he now?”
“Twenty seven, I think.”
“Took him long enough. I was married at twenty two and had Diego a year later.”
“Do You know who he’s marrying?” Carmen asked.
“I know her name. Esmeralda de la Vega. I know she’s apparently pretty rich too. I don’t know anything else, though. We’ll have to wait for Dia de Los Muertos to see her.”
“It’s only three months. We can hold on.” Manolo said.
“Still, it’s nice to hear that he found someone.”
“And what about Catrina and Fernando?” Carlos asked.
“Fernando is studying abroad in Japan, apparently. Political science, I think. Whatever that is. Catrina… she didn’t actually say. I’ll have to ask her and then send you a letter when I get home.”
“We just got a phone hooked up here.” Said Scardelita.
“If You have one, you can just call us.” Finished Adelita.
“I’ll have to ask mi Papá.” Nandito said.
“I don’t suppose you know anything about any of my kids or my husband?” Mireya asked hopefully.
“Lo siento, Mireya. Nothing.”
“It’s alright.” Mireya said dejectedly, pushing around the food on her plate with her fork.
“I shouldn’t expect you to. I’ll see them on Dia de Los Muertos, I guess.”
Katalina put her arm around her friend and gave him a slight squeeze as if to say;
’Don’t worry. It’s not your fault.’
-
“So, have You met anyone in San Miguel? It’s been, what, over thirty eight years since we died? Have you found anyone?” Katalina asked as she and Nandito laid on the roof watching the sky.
“Not really. I mean, I still love Carlotta. I know she’s married to Félix and they have kids together, and I respect that. I know that when she does come down here, she’s probably not going to be interested in me because she’ll be so much older than me then. But I can’t help but keep loving her, even though it’s been so long.”
“I get what you mean. In some ways, I still haven’t moved on from the first boy I ever loved. I actually dreamed about that idiot last night.”
“What kind of dream?”
“A horrible nightmare… all the same, I do hope he’s doing well. Wherever he is. I hope he found the happiness he was searching for.”
“That’s a nice thought, Lina.”
“Thanks.”
There was silence between them for a few moments before Nandito broke it.
“So what about you? I know you don’t really commit to a lot of people but have you found anyone yet?”
Katalina thought for a moment.
“I’m not actually sure. I mean, I made a new friend, but I don’t know if that’s going to go anywhere. Weird age gap.”
“It can’t be THAT bad.”
“She’s eighty seven, but physically she’s seventeen.”
“See, that’s not that bad. A bit confusing, but not necessarily bad.”
“She’s way out of my league too. Also she’s a bit broken.”
“What do you mean ‘broken’?”
“She’s made a lot of mistakes and she’s held to a higher standard than others. It haunts her a lot.”
“That sucks.”
“Plus the fact she’s on house arrest doesn’t help.”
There was silence only broken by Nandito’s teeth grating against his hand.
“Nandito.”
The boy sat up straight and bust out laughing.
“No way! You CANNOT just drop that on me nonchalantly like that!”
“Ay, shut up!”
“¿Está en arresto domiciliario? You said broken but you forgot to mention she was a literal criminal!”
Katalina sat up.
“Oye, I thought I just said she wasn’t! She’s just made some mistakes!”
“Still a criminal. She may not be a bad person, but she’s still a criminal.”
“Of course you would fall in love with a damn convict!” Nandito laughed.
“I’m not in love with her!… At least I don’t think so….”
“Have you kissed her yet?”
“Grow up, Nandito! We’ve only known each other three months!”
“So?”
“Besides, she’s a child.”
“It’s not like you can change that. I’ve been fourteen for thirty eight years, I should be fifty two now. The dead don’t age, y’know.”
“Actually… she can age.”
Nandito stared at Katalina silently.
“Lina, I don’t know what you’re getting yourself into but… Promise me you’ll be careful. Someone… like that can be unpredictable. somos títeres para ellos.”
“I’ll be careful, manito. I promise.”
-
Six months into their friendship, Katalina arrived at the castle and was greeted with a living human.
“Oh! Hello!” The girl said. She was stocky and a little taller than Katalina with golden brown skin, dark brown hair, and hazel eyes magnified by thick, round glasses.
“Y-You’re alive?” Katalina asked.
“I am, yes. I’m just visiting, though.”
“How?”
The girl waved her hand, the edges of which were blurred and seemed to be more dreamlike than physical.
“Spirit projection. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Who are you?”
“Nenetl. Nenetl Valeria Moreno-Rosales.”
“Katalina Sanchez.”
“Is that it?”
Katalina sighed.
“Katalina Rafaela Posada Sanchez.”
“That’s better.”
“So Nenetl… What brings you to the land of the remembered? How can you even do that?”
“I’m visiting my friend.”
“Why are you at the castle.”
“My friend lives at the castle.”
“Who’s—“
“Oye! Nenetl! We’re about to start, if you want to join us!” A voice shouted from down the hall. The voice belonged to a coffee-skinned woman with brown hair a few inches taller than Nenetl, a woman who would have looked human if not for the horns jutting from her head, her pink tail with a spade-shape on the end of it, and the bear legs in place of human ones that revealed themselves from under her flowy skirt.
“Coming, Calisto!” Nenetl shouted, leaving Katalina and running towards her. Katalina, confused by the interaction, continued on her way towards Etapalli’s room.
-
When she got there, she found the door locked.
“Palli?” She called, knocking on the door. For an answer, the door opened briefly and Etapalli’s hand shot out and pulled Katalina inside before locking the door behind them. The goddess in question was wearing a blanket like a cloak that partially covered her face.
“What’s going on?” Katalina asked.
“Alazne has her friends over.”
“And you’re hiding in your room?”
“I haven’t gotten much social interaction outside of the family. I’m too scared to go down there.”
“I thought I was your social interaction.”
“Yeah, my only social interaction.”
“Don’t you have other friends?”
Etapalli was quiet.
“…Not since my arrest.”
Katalina sighed. Yet another few people on her steadily-growing shit list.
“Palli, can you look at me?”
Etapalli looked out from under the blanket.
“It’s just about Two more years until you’re off the hook for good. You can’t spend all this time hiding away. What’s gonna happen when you go back out into the world and you don’t know how to talk to anyone?”
“I dunno. I just don’t think anyone will want to talk to me.”
“Well you’re thinking wrong. Take off the blanket and unlock the door, I’m taking you out to socialize with someone who isn’t family and isn’t dead.”
-
Alazne’s friends were a mixed bunch, to say the least. On top of the human Nenetl and the demon Calisto, there were four other beings of different walks of life.
A bird girl with dolce colored skin, claws for hands and feet, and feathers for hair who introduced herself as Axochitl.
A grey skinned god around Alazne and Etapalli’s age with dark hair and eyes introduced himself as Seti, and told Katalina he was one of their cousins.
“We’ve missed you, Prima.” He said to Etapalli as he hugged her.
“Especially Cuetlachtli. We haven’t seen you since—“
“Seti, please. Not now.” Etapalli stopped him. Seti sighed.
“You’re right. It’s just… It’s nice to see you again, Palli.”
Katalina saw a skeletal figure nearby dressed in a plain white huipil and assumed this was another human soul. However, as she ventured closer to say hello, the more the skeleton looked… wrong.
Their fingers were red, for one thing, and their soul markings weren’t like the ones usually on the inhabitants of the land of the remembered. And then there was their eyes, Oh Gods, their eyes. Their eyes were dark and seemed to be full of stars—not figuratively either. Their eyes seemed to quite literally be full of nothing but the void of space, which seemed to be creeping out at the edges.
“Yeah, don’t look in my eyes for too long, lo siento.” The skeleton said, waving their hand in front of Katalina’s eyes and breaking the spell.
“No, I’m sorry, that was rude of me. I just thought…”
“I tend to keep this form for convenience’s sake. No organs to sort out and it keeps people from going crazy when they see me. I’m Tanok, by the way.” The skeleton—Tanok—held out their hand.
“I’m Katalina.”
“Alazne’s told us about you. We’re about to play Uno. Would you like to join us?”
“I’ve played that with my parents and sister. Isn’t this a bit of a crowd?”
“Only two over game limit. Plus, we can use two decks to compensate.”
“Palli, what do you think?” Katalina asked over her shoulder.
“S-Sure.” Etapalli said with a small smile.
-
When the game started, there was still one guest Katalina hadn’t met yet. He was a tall boy with almond colored skin, black hair, and hazel eyes who looked relatively human but had a large pair of dark grey wings sprouting from his back and wore armor.
“Th-This is N-Ni-Nico. H-He doesn’t tal-talk a whole l-lot.” Alazne explained.
“Usu-Usually j-just signs.”
Nico waved with a small smile.
“Alright, everyone here knows the rules. This isn’t our first rodeo.” Said Calisto.
“Palli?” Katalina turned to her.
“I’ve played with Alazne, Tonalli, and Xochiquen. I know the rules.”
“Sh-She cheats.” Alazne said.
“Listen, pendeja. Just because you fall for the same trick every single time doesn’t mean—“
Seti pulled a draw two on Etapalli.
“…Seti, vete a la mierda.”
The game was officially in gear.
-
“That was fun. We should play on our own sometime, just the two of us. Less confusing that way.” Katalina said on their way back to Etapalli’s room.
“Maybe. You’ll still end up with half the deck in your hand.”
“It will be a fair game without Nenetl. She’s cool and all but she’s… well…”
“An absolute monster? Yes.”
“How did your sister end up friends with a living human anyway? I didn’t know living humans could even come down here.”
“They can’t. Nenetl is spirit projecting, meaning her spirit has left her human body for a temporary amount of time. She has 24 hours to return back to her body or her body will die and she’ll be stuck as a ghost forever.”
“I didn’t know humans even had the power to do that.”
“You usually don’t. Nenetl is a special case because she’s a Nagual.”
Katalina stopped in her tracks for a moment.
“Really?!”
“Sí, she comes from a long line of Naguals.”
“She didn’t seem… well… you know…” Katalina made slashing motions with her hands and growled. Etapalli giggled.
“She can turn into a Jaguar when she wants to, but most of the time she’s just like this. As for how Alazne met her, they met about three years ago when Nenetl was trying to project for the first time and accidentally ended up in Alazne’s room at my father’s castle.”
“In the land of the forgotten? Yikes. Pobrecita.”
“I wasn’t there for obvious reasons, but apparently both of them screamed. Loudly.”
They came to Etapalli’s door.
“Hey,” Katalina took her hand.
“I’m proud of you for today. I know it was a lot, but you did well.”
“…Gracias.” Etapalli blushed a little.
“I’ll see you soon, hm? Maybe tomorrow.”
“Of course. Adios, mi Soldadita.”
-
Katalina walked her usual route down twisted cobblestone roads painted in every color of the rainbow, the streets mostly empty, for it was siesta time. A siesta was just what she needed once she got home.
“Going somewhere, Capitan Segundo?” A familiar voice from behind her sent chills down Katalina’s spine and she whipped around.
“Or should I say, Coronela?” Tristán Alvarez said with a smile.
“Y-You!” Katalina breathed.
Tristán was somewhere in his late thirties now and decidedly dead. It was no wonder, seeing as how much of a bastard he’d been in life. It had only been a matter of time before he’d pissed off the wrong person. Still, his presence was unwelcome.
“Did you really think our paths would never cross again, Rafaela? Or was it Katalina?”
Katalina reached for a weapon reflexively, only to remember she didn’t have anything on her. Before she could make another move, Tristán grabbed her by the wrists and slammed her against a nearby wall, hitting her head hard enough that she felt a small crack form in the back of her skull.
“You pulled a nice little stunt back there in Chiapas, mujer. Screwed up my life nice and good. I don’t think I deserved that, do you?” He said with a cold glare. Katalina squirmed and tried to fight him off, but it had been so long since she fought anyone. She was out of practice.
“Didn’t I keep your bed warm for you? Didn’t you say I was the best you’d ever had? All I wanted was a pretty woman on my arm and a little family of our own, but you took that from me.”
“Jesus, Tristán, we were in WAR! I had a duty to Mexico—to the world!”
“You had a duty to ME!” He slapped her across the face as hard as he could.
“Tristán! Por favor! We can talk—“
“This is on you, woman! Murderer! Whore!” He grabbed her skirt and began to pull it up roughly, navigating the petticoat underneath. Katalina kicked at him and tried to fight back.
“AYÚDAME! AYÚDA—“ Tristán slammed her head into the wall again, causing her hearing to ring and her vision to go fuzzy. Before He could continue, Katalina felt the air become hot and smelled smoke on the wind, and then Tristán was roughly pulled away. Katalina fell to her knees.
When she looked up, her hearing still muffled and ringing, she saw Etapalli standing before her, holding Tristán by his neck.
Etapalli was a sight to behold, a sight Katalina had never seen. Hellish flames licked and danced around her feet and even her eyes seemed to be burning with the fury of a thousand suns. In her other hand she carried a flaming Macuahuitl, one that she’d kept in a display case above her bed but Katalina had never seen on fire. Her dark wings, freed from their chains, were spread wide and graceful.
This was not the Etapalli Katalina had come to know.
This was La Carroñera.
And she was beautiful.
Etapalli’s hand glowed red around Tristán’s neck bones, iron-hot power melting his bones together and causing him to scream and writhe in pain.
“Por favor, ten compasion!” Tristán howled
“Ten compasion, my lady!”
Then, in an instant, Etapalli quickly smashed him into the ground hard enough to break the cobblestone and even the ground underneath the street. Bones were crushed and went flying everywhere, and Etapalli held her Macuahuitl up, ready to slam it down into his chest. Then, the goddess’s eyes found Katalina. The green flames seemed to dim a little for that moment where time seemed to stand still. They were full of fear, fear of being abandoned yet again. Fear of La Carroñera. Fear that Katalina could never feel.
Before Etapalli could bring her Macuahuitl down onto Tristán’s rib cage, she was tackled to the ground by two fully armored angel knights. She didn’t struggle, didn’t fight, just stared at Katalina with sadness and fear.
As they pulled her up in chains and led her away, Katalina stood and ran after them.
“Palli! Palli!
She reached out for the goddess, who turned and reached out for her with tears in her eyes. Before their fingers could touch, the angels teleported away with Etapalli, and Katalina was left alone in the street with a pile of burning bones.
-
The next few hours were a hazy blur. Katalina, sitting in a heavenly law enforcement station on the other side of the city, only managed to capture a few snippets of conversations.
“He’ll survive, but we’re moving him for his and the girl’s safety.”
“The poor thing is traumatized. Look at her.”
“What about the monster?”
“Moved to the land of the forgotten indefinitely.”
After what seemed like eternity, the door to the station opened, and a familiar face came through the door.
Manolo Sanchez knelt in front of his daughter.
“Ay, mija.” He reached out a hand to gently caress her cheek. At the contact, Katalina broke. Once again, dazed and broken, the Colonel wailed.

Chapter 17

Summary:

In the aftermath of the incident, Katalina mourns in the only way she knows how.

Notes:

TW: Mentioned Attempted Sexual Assault, mentions of drug use, mentions of sex

Chapter Text

Katalina woke up completely exhausted. She wanted to believe that the day before had been some awful dream, and yet in her bones she knew it had really happened. The black skirt she’d worn yesterday was haphazardly draped across the old chair in the corner of her room, awaiting its fate. Part of her wanted to burn the damn thing, to erase any trace of Tristán from her home and her mind. But then she looked at a section of the fabric singed by La Carroñera’s fire and felt a desire to hold the skirt close to her and never part with it.
’Indefinitely.’
The cruel word from the day before rang through her mind. To Immortals, Katalina’s entire lifetime was no more than a blink of an eye. Indefinitely most likely didn’t mean any length that Katalina would be around to see. The next time she saw the princess would most likely be when she’d been forgotten, when she couldn’t even remember her own name.
Katalina held her pillow tighter, burying her face into it and pretending it was the crook of her friend’s shoulder.
-
She went to her mother’s studio later that morning, wearing the once-white dress she and Etapalli had stained forever in a paint war. The smell of tempera permeated the fabric, even after going through the wash multiple times in a row, and offered a pungent comfort to her. A reminder of old times.
“You’re awake.” María put down the book she was flipping through and stood up to greet her oldest daughter. Apparently there was a gathering in the room, for her father and uncle were there too.
“Hola, Tio Joaquin.” Katalina said quietly, acknowledging her uncle. He had died about three years after her parents had passed, but travelled the land of the remembered instead of living with her parents as he’d done in life.
“Buenos Dias, Lina.” He said, concern written on his face.
“Ay, Mija, did you sleep okay? Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?” María fussed over her daughter.
“No. I’m not hungry.” She said, sitting down next to her father on the small couch. María sighed and sat on the other side of her. Manolo put his hand on Katalina’s back, and for a few moments everything was quiet.
“She didn’t hurt me.” She started to argue.
“She’s not a bad person. I know what you must be thinking but—“
“Lina.” Manolo shushed her.
“We never thought any of that. Please don’t jump to conclusions.”
“Then why are you asking if I’m okay? I’m not the one who got smashed into a million pieces or the one who got arrested!”
“But you witnessed all of this, and…” María faltered, biting her lip.
“And you were the one who was assaulted.”
Katalina was quiet for a moment.
“He didn’t get far. I’m fine. It’s not like he could do it in a way that matters in this place anyway.”
“They had to give you medicine to fix your skull, because it was cracked so badly. Besides, even without that…” Manolo was interrupted.
“The mental damage. That’s still there, that’s still going to last.”
Katalina looked down and was quiet for a minute.
“I thought I was doing better. I was happy, I had something to look forward to that wasn’t just my plants. I haven’t used opium in three months, I haven’t stayed out all night doing… stuff in a month. I thought things were going to be okay.”
“I know, I know. The two of you have always been drawn together. It’s unfair that this has happened again.” Manolo said.
Katalina looked up.
“Again?”
María pushed Katalina’s hair behind her ears and rubbed her back.
“When you were small, La Muerte had an arrangement with us. Sometimes if she needed someone to watch her younger children, she’d ask us. In return, she or Xibalba would watch you and Mireya when we had nobody else. Their children aged differently than you two, slower, but once you and your sister were able to play with them you never stopped. You and Etapalli were always very close, even when you were a baby.”
Katalina’s hands fiddled with her dress anxiously.
“She—well, He back then—would sit by your crib and just watch you. Never did it with Mireya. When you were older, you two would play with wooden swords and like dolls and pick flowers in the garden and Etapalli would braid your hair sometimes.”
Fuzzy memories started coming back to Katalina. Generally, she could remember very little of her early childhood, but she did remember a pale boy with black hair whose name escaped her. He had been a little older than her and the two had often played together as children. Many afternoons were spent either playing with dolls in the parlor, playing with swords in the garden or picking flowers, or even curled up napping together after they’d both tired themselves out. It seemed both obvious and anticlimactic at the same time. How could she have known that the sweet boy who had filled her toddlerhood with wonder would become the wonderful, complicated woman who filled her afterlife with joy?
Katalina’s eyes filled with tears and once again, the former Colonel broke down in her parents’ arms.
-
That night, Katalina crept downstairs to the kitchen and filled her army backpack with a few days’ worth of food and a canteen of water. She stole her father’s swords and fastened them to her hips, dressed in her old Colonel’s uniform. Then, once again, Katalina Sanchez fled her family home in the middle of the night, unsure if she would ever return.

Chapter 18

Summary:

Did she think the Gods would not send their emissaries?

Notes:

TW: Self Harm (but not in a suicidal way)

Chapter Text

Joaquin wouldn’t mind that Plata was gone, Katalina thought. Once she reached the cave of souls, she’d send the horse back home on her own anyway. Plata knew the way.
They rode for hours, only stopping occasionally for the horse to drink, until suddenly Plata stopped in the middle of the desert as night was turning to day. The horse began to fuss, pacing back and forth and refusing to go further. Katalina dismounted and attempted to calm her down.
“Y-Y-You know, I’m sup-supposed t-to stop you.” A familiar voice said from above and behind her. Katalina drew her swords and whipped around. To her equal relief and dismay, Alazne floated down to the ground and took her place a few feet in front of her.
The Goddess looked different than she ever had before. Her green eyes gave off an eerie, star-like glow in contrast to the aura radiating off her body, which was reminiscent of the colors of galaxies and nebulas. Stardust pooled in her hands, fine and twinkling. This was not Alazne, but La Citlahuani.
“You’re supposed to be on your sister’s side.” Katalina growled. La Citlahuani’s brow furrowed.
“I know.” The green glow faded from her eyes and the unearthly aura disappeared along with the stardust in her hands. Katalina relaxed her weapons, for the goddess was once again a teenager.
“K-Kata-Katalina, I-I don’t wan-want to fight you. I-I d-don’t want to st-stop you. But I-I’m b-bound und-under cel-celestial order. I w-want m-my sis-sister to be hap-happy, and she’s h-happier th-than I-I’ve ever s-seen her w-with y-you.”
“What do you propose, then?”
“Th-Though I-I h-have healed m-mostly from the a-accident, the o-other g-gods still s-see m-me a-as weak. U-Una respon-responsabilidad. Th-This i-is s-supposed to b-be my ch-chance t-to p-prove them w-wrong. P-Prove th-them r-right, Soldado.”
“I’m not going to kill you.”
“Y-You c-couldn’t even i-if you t-tried. It’s just a-a b-bit of th-theatre.”
“You’d give up your reputation for your sister?”
“Wh-When I-I was i-injured, I-I b-basically rev-reverted to an in-infant. I-I c-couldn’t t-talk, couldn’t eat, c-couldn’t walk, n-nada. E-Etapalli s-stuck b-by m-my side, every d-day and n-night. Sh-She g-got in f-fights d-defending m-me. She s-sacrificed h-her t-time a-and l-love for me. I-I c-can never th-thank h-her en-enough. Th-This is me r-repaying her.”
“Then we fight.” Katalina said, readying her swords once again.
“Do-Don’t think o-of it as f-fighting,” Alazne began to glow again.
“Th-think o-of it as re-regaining your dor-dormant sk-skills.”
Stardust pooled into La Citlahuani’s hands and she shot a ball of it at Katalina, who quickly dodged and tried to slip past her. This time a ball of stardust hit Katalina in the back, causing a burning sensation through her bones.
“Chingada! I thought you said you were going easy on me!” Katalina jabbed her sword towards La Citlahuani, who dodged it.
“I ha-have t-to ma-make it look l-like there w-was a-at l-least some s-struggle.”
“Yeah but that fucking hurt!” Katalina sent a sword flying through the goddess’s dress, where it pinned her to a nearby tree.
“H-Hey! M-My Tia m-made this d-dress for m-me!”
“Lo siento. I have to make it look like there was at least some struggle.” Katalina said with a dark smile. La Citlahuani stared for a moment and then laughed.
“I-I s-see why sh-she likes y-you.” She pulled the sword from her dress and flung it back at Katalina, who caught it midair by the blade.
“Normally, this would be a bad move. But I don’t have any blood left to bleed.”
She lunged for La Citlahuani, who teleported out of the way. Unfortunately for the goddess, Katalina was quick on her feet and had anticipated the move. She followed La Citlahuani in a split second and grabbed her by the back of her dress, pulling her down and holding one of her swords inches from the goddess’s throat. Alazne panted, the glow fading from her body and stardust dissolving in her hands.
“Why don’t we call this a draw?” Katalina said.
“N-Not yet.” Alazne said. She drew a small golden dagger from a pocket in her dress, causing Katalina to tense. The goddess gently pushed the sword away from her throat.
“Th-That thing w-won’t h-harm me.” She told her before taking the golden dagger and dragging the blade lightly along her own neck, causing a few drops of golden blood to spring up from the wound.
“I-I h-have t-to m-make it look l-like there w-was a-a struggle.”
Alazne handed Katalina the dagger.
“If you-you’ve ev-ever wanted t-to ha-harm a God, you g-get a-a f-free p-pass now.” She said. Katalina looked at the dagger in her hands and then looked at Alazne nervously.
“Y-You c-can’t h-hurt m-me in a w-way th-that matters, h-human. I-It’s j-just f-for show. W-Within a-an h-hour, it will h-heal.”
The goddess looked at her trustingly. The former colonel nodded, put her swords away, and made a quick slice along Alazne’s right bicep before moving on to her left shoulder and calf. Then, just for show, she carefully dragged the blade along Alazne’s cheek, right in between two soul markings that looked like pink and blue painted stripes on her face. The Goddess smiled and Katalina offered her her hand, pulling her up from the ground.
“K-Katalina Sanchez, I m-must warn you. I-I am n-not th-the only one you w-will face o-on th-this Journey. Th-Three of m-my b-brothers h-have been sent t-to stop y-you a-as well. I-I d-don’t kn-know i-if they’ll b-be a-as kind t-to you, b-but y-you have my ble-blessing. M-May your heart a-always be pure and c-cour-courageous. Y-You w-will need it.”
“Gracias, Alazne. I hate to rebuke your gift but… I don’t exactly have a heart. But I should continue my journey.”
“I-I know. M-May I give you s-some a-advice?”
“Of course.”
“Send th-the h-horse home n-now. Th-This j-journey i-is one that sh-she cannot f-follow y-you on. I-I will g-guide h-her home safely.”
Katalina turned to Plata and went to her. She gently stroked the skeleton horse’s muzzle and pressed her forehead against her nose.
“Está bien, Plata. Thank you for taking me this far, but this is where we part ways. Go home to your master, now. I must do this alone.”
Plata nickered and nudged Katalina affectionately before turning to leave.
“G-Go w-west, t-towards the sun-sunset. In four h-hundred m-miles, you w-will find M-Mother S-Snake M-Mountain, a-atop that y-you will find the C-Cave O-Of S-Souls. Th-The g-guardian will t-test you, and I-I kn-know you w-will pass. L-Listen t-to your heart, and y-you will make it.”
Katalina nodded and turned to leave.
“A-And Kata-Katalina?”
Katalina turned back to Alazne, who looked at her with eyes full of sadness.
“P-Please g-give mi hermana m-my love.”
Katalina nodded and pounded her chest lightly with her fist, just above where her heart would be, before turning and continuing her journey on foot.
When she turned around about a hundred feet later, Alazne and Plata were both gone.
Katalina turned back towards the west.
“Hang in there, Palli.”

Chapter 19

Summary:

Katalina encounters new obstacles

Chapter Text

Katalina found herself crossing a desert, and on a similar note also found herself thirsty. She didn’t know how or why she could feel thirst and drink water without flesh or organs, but she felt the desire for fresh water all the same. Indeed, it felt like a blessing when she came across a river running through the desolate surroundings. Having gone for just over 24 hours with an empty canteen of water, she ran to the river.
Unfortunately, before she could fill up her canteen, a bright light appeared in front of her and caused her to shield her eyes. When she took her hands away from her eyes, she found none other than a glowing god hovering in midair, large wings flapping and kicking up the sand around them and sending ripples across the water.
“So, you wish to drink from this stream and go to the land of the forgotten?” Tonalpiltzin said.
The Prince of Light was a sight to behold, like an evening star or a miniature sun. Every part of him glowed with warm, loving light that touched every part of Katalina’s soul and almost made her feel like crying against her will.
“You’re going to stop me?” She asked, not even drawing her swords. Tonalpiltzin smiled.
“That’s what I’ve been instructed to do, yes. But I have a better idea.”
He reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a conch shell and a spool of thread with a needle in it.
“Thread this conch onto a string and wear it like a necklace without the thread breaking. Do not break any part of it. If you can complete this task, I will let you pass.”
He handed Katalina the conch, the spool of thread, and the needle.
The human woman looked at the shell and the thread closely, and with sharp eyes managed to find the small hole in the top of the shell. She took needle out of the thread and put it aside. Then, she took the end of the thread and gently began to lower it through the hole, feeding it into the shell until it came out through the other side. Then, she took the thread at the other end and put it through the eye of the needle and began to sew it into her own jacket collar around her neck, allowing the conch to be held up by her clothes instead of just one flimsy string. Then, when she was finished, she tied it off and had the conch fully sewn to her chest.
“I believe you agreed to let me pass. Also, this was way too easy. Your sister had the right idea, you need to at least make it look like there’s a struggle.”
Tonalli stopped glowing and crossed his arms.
“Listen, only one other guy has been able to solve that puzzle. How was I possibly supposed to know you would solve it so quickly?” He was definitely playing it up a bit. Katalina raised an eyebrow. He sighed and landed on the ground in front of her.
“Look, I’m the prince of light. Everyone loves me even when I don’t ask them to. I’m supposed to be the one to fix everyone’s problems. Everyone looks to me for guidance and help. But…” He looked away and rubbed his arm in embarrassment.
“I’ve never been able to really help my sister. She needs more than I’ve ever been able to give her.”
Tonalli looked back at Katalina.
“But whatever you’re doing, it’s helping. I haven’t seen her so happy and full of hope in years!” He knelt in front of her so they could look into each other’s eyes.
“I can’t stand by and let that side of her be snuffed out for good, because I know that she’s capable of taking all that pain and using it to do great things—which she can’t do if she’s locked up forever! Even if I’m useless to help her myself, I want to help you do it.”
Katalina smiled and pressed a chaste kiss against his cheek, the taste of honey permeating her lips.
“You’re a good brother, and an amazing God.” She said. Crimson flooded Tonalli’s face and Katalina went to the stream to fill up her canteen with water for the journey. Tonalli watched her as she did so and stood up.
“It’s not going to be easy, so I’ll give you an out.” He said. Katalina turned around to berate him, thinking he was offering her a way home, but he continued.
“When you need a way to travel fast, blow the conch shell like a horn. The wind will lift you up and carry you two hundred miles away from where you were when you blew it. But be warned, Katalina Sanchez; this power can only be used once. Afterwards, both the conch and the thread that holds it will disintegrate into sand. Use it wisely.”
“I will. Gracias, Tonalli.”
Before the two could part ways amicably, there was a crash of thunder and a bolt of lightning hit the ground a few hundred feet away from them in the direction Katalina had come from. From where the lightning hit, a figure appeared. It was, much to Katalina’s dismay, an angel knight. Tonalli turned around to Katalina.
“Go! Go to Mother Snake Mountain! I will fend them off!” Tonalli told her, summoning a blue bow and a quiver of arrows with a wave of his hand and taking a fighting stance. Katalina nodded and began to run. She kept running, never looking back, hearing the sounds of the celestial battle getting further and further away until she could no longer hear them, and even then she kept running.
’I’m coming, Palli.’

Chapter 20

Summary:

Sometimes it’s harder to forgive ourselves

Notes:

TW: Self Deprication

Chapter Text

Three days. Three days Katalina had been traveling almost nonstop. Five days had passed since she had lost her best friend. She sat hiding in an alleyway in a desert town, eating an apple in the shade lest the angel knight who had appeared two days ago track her down again. After half an hour of rest, the former colonel stood and went to see if there was anyone in this place that could help.
“Disculpe, Señor!” She called out to a skeleton in a yellow hat. The man turned around to face her.
“Sí, how may I help you, Señorita.”
“How far is it to Mother Snake Mountain?”
The man’s face fell.
“Mother Snake Mountain?! You’ll be destroyed if you go there!”
“I’m already dead. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“You really want to spend the rest of eternity as a decapitated head? I’m sorry, but I cannot tell you in good conscience.”
“Please, señor…”
“Rivera. Simon Rivera.”
“Please, Señor Rivera. This is a matter of Justice, life, and death. If you care about any of those things, you will tell me how much longer I have in my journey.”
Simon fiddled with his hands, eyeing Katalina.
“You know… I was a bringer of Justice once too, much like yourself…” He said, then sighed.
“Two hundred and fifty miles to the west of here. But the journey is perilous and I have never once seen any mortal come back from there. Please be careful, young one.”
“Gracias, Señor Rivera.” Katalina said.
“Adios, young soldier.” He said after her as she left.
-
Katalina journeyed for nearly an entire day, all the time careful to watch for any more angel knights. She barely rested, for how much rest did she really need when her body could not be killed? It turned out, quite a bit of rest, as she didn’t immediately notice the flapping of wings quickly approaching her.
Katalina whipped around to find the angel knight from before hot on her trail, flying swiftly after her.
“Ay, Chingada!” She groaned and drew her swords. The angel landed in front of her, cracking the ground with a shockwave that Katalina expertly jumped backwards off of, landing on her feet like a cat.
“You really want a piece of me!? What can you do to me?! I’m already dead! I have nothing left to lose.”
The angel knight, helmet hiding their expression, stood firm, brandishing their sword. Katalina’s eyes narrowed and she began to back away, but the angel knight stepped towards her.
“You think because I’m a human I won’t give up? You can take me to the opposite end of this realm, and I will still keep coming back. You can take me to the deepest depths of hell, and I will still keep coming back. I made an oath in life to fight against oppression and injustice, and I will keep trying to get to Etapalli no matter what happens to me. I would scrub myself from history just to see her once again. So go ahead, you coward. Come and get some.”
The angel spread their wings and charged for Katalina, but before the former colonel could charge back, she found herself grabbed around the waist by an unknown pair of arms and teleported away.
-
Teleportation, as it turned out, was extremely disorienting for someone who wasn’t used to it. One instant she was in the desert about to fight an angel knight, the next felt like she was encased in glass, and the next she found herself in a different part of the desert and felt like throwing up—despite her lack of an actual stomach. Katalina fell on her knees onto the hard ground and began to retch, despite the fact that she couldn’t actually throw up.
“Que Carajo?!” She choked.
“O-Oh Gods! A-Are you okay?” A young man’s voice asked in concern and she felt a hand on her back. Katalina looked up to find a young, slender god with skin and hair as black as night and eyes with ruby-like skulls for irises and pupils.
“El Ermitaño?” She rasped. The god fiddled with his hands uncomfortably.
“It’s just Itzal, please.” He said. Katalina picked herself up and put her swords back in their sheaths on each of her hips.
“I-I’m supposed to stop you. Or help you. Or both. I mean… I don’t really know you. I’ve seen you with my sister before, many times, but you never actually saw me. You’ve never actually talked to me before.”
“I was told you weren’t interested in talking to anyone.”
“That’s not wrong.” He started to scratch at his hands anxiously.
“Gods, I’ve already screwed this up, haven’t I? I always do this, I don’t know WHY the Celestials told me to come here when you already had an angel knight after you and why Tonalli told me to disobey direct orders. I’m just making an awful mess of everything.”
Katalina looked around, trying to figure out where she was, and then her eyes caught something rising in the near distance. It was a tall structure, a giant statue of a monstrous deity with two snakes for heads. It could only be one place.
“Mother Snake Mountain… I made it!” A huge smile spread across Katalina’s face and she jumped with joy and let out a little squeal.
“Itzal! You beautiful, beautiful thing! You’ve brought me where I needed to go!” She turned around to face Itzal, and found a sight that could only be described as disappointing.
Itzal was still muttering to himself, one of his hands against his face and the other tugging at his hair.
“Itzal?”
“Oh Gods Oh Gods Oh Gods I’ve gone and screwed it all up again, haven’t I? Oh nononononono they’re gonna kill me. They’re gonna kill her. Oh Gods I’ve ruined everything again and it’s all my fault.”
Itzal’s skin, which appeared to be obsidian, started to shine like sunlight on a blade, and his eyes started to go completely red, all distinguishing features of them being wiped clean as thick, black smoke began to pour like tears from his eyes and swirl around, forming a sort of lenticular cloud around the two of them. Dust and dirt swept up with an incoming wind and lightning began to crackle in the forming vortex.
“Itzal?!”
El Ermitaño kept muttering to himself in a language Katalina couldn’t understand. The wind began to pick up and Katalina felt herself being picked up off her feet by the strong wind.
“Todo mi culpa, Oh Dioses, todo es mi culpa. Lo lamento. Lo lamento. No puedo controlarlo.” He muttered.
“Itzal! Itzal!” Katalina yelled to break through the fog.
“Perdóname… Perdóname…”
Katalina was swept into the cloud, growing into a small tornado, and found herself being spun around. Images flashed in the lightning and Katalina caught glimpses of them.
One of what was clearly a younger Itzal, only a child, with another Godling about his age. The Godling, a boy, had rust colored skin and short, curly brown hair, accompanied by blood red eyes. The two were sitting on the side of the fountain in the gardens of La Muerte’s castle.
The picture disappeared and another one appeared in the clouds of a young Itzal curled up on a library couch reading a large book to four familiar godlings. Oroitz’s eyes were bright and alert and his hair was tied back in a braid. Alazne was sitting quietly with an infant Xochiquen in her lap, who suckled on his thumb peacefully. Etapalli, the same young child Katalina had first met her as, was standing on the couch and practically climbing on Itzal while he read.
The image once again disappeared and another appeared of the Itzal and the red godling, this time the two of them walking together with interlaced fingers and Itzal planting a kiss on the godling’s cheek, much to his evident annoyance.
Then, a final image. The red godling bound in chains and a dark, intimidating look on his face as he stared straight at Katalina. Flames started to consume the image, corrupting it and burning it.
“Lo lamento. Todo es mi culpa. Por favor, perdóname.” Itzal cried.
“Lo siento, manita. Lo siento mucho.”
Katalina fought against the wind and tried to swim in the air down to him.
“Itzal! You need to snap out of it! Itzal!” But El Ermitaño couldn’t hear her, and she was running out of time.
“Itzal, if you can hear me; I can’t help you. Not now. But whatever happened… I don’t think you’re to blame. I’m so sorry for this.”
Katalina lifted the conch to her mouth and blew into the hole at the top of the shell. At the trumpeting sound of the conch, the wind changed direction and picked up Katalina and carried her towards Mother Snake Mountain. With the wind being taken control over, the smoke shot back into El Ermitaño’s eyes, knocking the young god to the ground. Itzal looked up at Katalina as she flew away.
“Gracias, Itzal! I’m sorry!”
Katalina blinked back tears. He was obviously troubled and all she wanted to do was take him into her arms, but there was nothing she could do now. She was running out of time. Someone else needed her.
The wind dropped her on the top of the statue, just mere feet away from the edge of it. She managed to gain her balance and look upon her new territory. Katalina Sanchez had reached Mother Snake Mountain, and by extension, the cave of souls.
’Hold On.’

Chapter 21

Summary:

Katalina faces the final obstacles of her journey… or so she thinks

Notes:

TW: Blood, Talk of Racism

Chapter Text

The Cave of Souls and getting past the cave guardian would not be easy, Katalina knew. She had heard the story of her father’s adventures through the realms of the dead all her life. Plus, if she remembered correctly, there was one more God after her to get through before she could reach the land of the forgotten. She hoped that angel knight wasn’t close by. As she expected, the shell and string began to crumble and turned to dust, covering her uniform with the filth. She didn’t care.
Katalina cautiously walked towards the invisible boundary where she knew the walls of the labyrinth would appear, and sure enough, there was a cracking sound in the stone and a line of bright light appeared behind her.
”Face the labyrinth, and earn the right to be judged.” the voice of the cave guardian thundered as the spot she was standing in began to sink into the stone and reveal a huge labyrinth. At once, as she expected, the structure began to tilt and rotate like some sort of hellish carnival ride. Katalina heard stone rolling on stone, and she began to run.
The giant balls of the labyrinth chased her, and Katalina narrowly avoided traps and collisions with catlike precision and reflexes. If her journey had done one thing for her so far, it had helped her bring back the dormant skills of a soldier that she had since lost in her eternal retirement. She knew what to do, she just had to find the place where all three of the giant stone balls that chased her could smash together and leave her unscathed. However, fate had other plans.
As she turned a corner, she caught sight of none other than that damn angel knight diving for her.
“Oh My Gods, here we go again!” She groaned and drew her swords as she swerved away from a ball. The angel landed in front of her with sword drawn and the two blades met, clashing together.
The two of them fought, blades hitting blades, all the time Katalina tried to distance herself and by proxy, the angel, from the balls. The two of them were caught in a dance with death, and in the heat of the ongoing fight and flight, Katalina found they had entered the labyrinth’s the weak spot, the spot that she could escape. Sure enough, all three balls came thundering towards them. The angel, caught up in the fight, seemed to notice too late. The balls clashed together, the angel tried to escape, and Katalina, sent into the air by the shockwave that shook the ground, propelled herself off of the balls and landed on top of one of them nimbly on her feet.
“Ha!” Katalina let out a shout of relief after her apparent victory. Then, she turned around to face the knight only to find her opponent gone. She walked around on top of the balls, looking around, and found the angel.
The angel had one of their silvery wings trapped in between two balls, and they hung precariously over the opening to a lava trap. Without thinking, her instincts kicking in, Katalina jumped off the balls and went to the Angel’s aid.
“Grab onto the ledge, do not let go.” She told them. The angel, whose sword had been knocked out of their hand, obeyed and held onto the edge of the trap. Then, Katalina went to work on their wing.
“Pull, try to crawl out.” She said. The angel, once again, obeyed and began to crawl away as Katalina pulled at their wing with all her strength. Soon, the angel’s wing came free from where it had been trapped between the stones, albeit crushed in one place and dripping with golden blood. The angel, free, collapsed on the ground on their knees, catching their breath. That, however, was where Katalina’s mercy ended. Before they could get up, Katalina had grabbed their sword and whacked them on the back of the head with the hilt of it. The angel froze in place and then keeled over, knocked out cold.
“Lo siento. You fought valiantly, but I can’t let you slow me down anymore.” Katalina apologized before going towards the cave, taking the heavenly sword with her. The first thing she noticed about it is that the blade was branded with a strange set of symbols, three letters in a language Katalina had never seen. The first was a sideways and upside down “L”, the second was reminiscent of a lowercase “h”, but backwards and curved, and the last one could only be described as looking like a sword with a flag waving from the tip of it. Before she could wonder much more, she was interrupted.
You have earned the right to be judged!” the cave guardian thundered, and the ground began to shake. Suddenly, the cave itself rose from the ground, connected to a giant skeletal body of stone.
But be warned, only one mortal has ever passed.
The guardian raised a giant stone sword. Katalina stood firm, staring the guardian down wordlessly. The guardian brought the sword down on her, and the stone crumbled before it could even touch her hair. The entire sword crumbled around her, and Katalina kept standing.
Katalina Sanchez, your heart is pure and courageous. You alone may enter.” The cave guardian thundered, laying back down on the ground with the entrance to the cave only feet away from her.
“Not if I have anything to say about it.” Said a familiar, irritating voice from behind her. Katalina whirled around, the heavenly sword still in her hands. Behind her, oh-so predictably, stood Reyes.
“You!” She growled. She’d had just about enough of this dude. She charged towards him with the sword and a yell, and Reyes summoned a scythe out of thin air, preparing to fight. Katalina raised the sword and steel met steel in the air.
“Your fighting is futile, Sanchez.” Reyes said, the two of them sparring back and forth with blades clashing.
“Just give up now.”
“Not a goddamn CHANCE!” Katalina took his causality as an advantage and managed to land a hit, leaving a thin slice along his cheekbone with the angel’s weapon. Reyes’ eyes widened.
“You dare to strike a God?!” He thundered.
“If that God is an asshole like you? Gladly!” Reyes’ eyes glowed with intense hellfire, and soon his whole body was engulfed in a fiery glow. El Reyalmas had entered the game. He spun his scythe around, knocking the angel’s blade out of Katalina’s hands and sending her flying backwards, hitting one of the jagged tooth-like stalagmites that lined the entrance to the cave of souls. Unlike La Citlahuani, El Reyalmas was not holding back. He held the scythe to Katalina’s neck.
“This is where your journey, in both life and death, ends for good.”
Katalina, weakly with narrowed eyes, grabbed the blade of the scythe and pulled it closer to her throat.
“Go ahead. Destroy me if you want, but it won’t change the fact that you are a horrible brother.”
El Reyalmas faltered, and the fire faded from his eyes. The glow faded from around him, and his arms went lax, pulling the scythe away from Katalina’s throat.
“…You’re right.” Reyes said quietly. Katalina looked up at him confusedly.
“I’ve tried to be the best for so long. The best son, the best brother, the best God. I’ve been held to such a high standard, my siblings and I all have. We were born torn between two worlds, our father being an old world angel-turned-God and our mother being a native goddess. We were always too angelic for our pantheon, too heathen for the angels. My other siblings don’t seem to care, they just slack off and do whatever they want. They don’t care about our family’s image. I’m the only one who’s actively trying to make us shine. If we’re going to be accepted, we have to be exceptional, you know?”
Katalina thought back to her own life.

’You’re not my kind, and I could never do anything with a brown skinned shiksa for a wife.’

‘Is this the Mexicans’ idea of a joke? To send the maid dressed as a soldier to talk about war?’

‘Maybe you could learn something from the American women. Hard workers they are, not like you lot. Go back to base and dress a wound or cook a meal or something. Leave the fighting to the men.’

She sighed.
“I do know.” She stood up.
“I know, and it’s awful. But that talk should be left outside. You and your siblings have to deal with it enough from both Gods and Angels, you don’t need force them to deal with it behind closed doors amongst yourselves too. You can be as exceptional as you want, but in the end, your siblings’ lives are their own. They’re going to make their own choices, and you’re not going to agree with all of them, but you’re going to have to learn to accept it, to love them as they are. All the shit you face from the outside world, you all face it differently, and that’s okay.”
Reyes sighed.
“You are wise for a human.”
“I’ll take it. And hey, when you’re not yelling at people or being a jerk, you’re pretty cool. I mean, I’ve only met you when you’re being a jerk but those scythe moves are pretty sick, you’re gonna have to teach me sometime.”
His soul markings glowed.
“It was pretty cool, wasn’t it? I suppose I could share one small secret with such a smart girl as yourself.”
“Maybe later. I have to get to the land of the forgotten, and I don’t know how long the cave of souls is going to stay open.
You have five more minutes before you must face the labyrinth and the sword once more.
Katalina gestured.
“Mira?”
Reyes laughed.
“I will escort you as far as I can, Katalina Sanchez. But you will need to face the Candlemaker on your own.”
“Fine by me.” She cracked her knuckles. Reyes held his arm out, gesturing towards the cave.
“After you, señorita.”
Katalina nodded and looked up at the mouth of the cave.
Ya voy, princesa.
Katalina Sanchez, one of the few mortals to do so, stepped into the cave of souls.

Chapter 22

Summary:

So close that she can almost touch her

Chapter Text

Katalina and Reyes walked through the cave of souls, Katalina with her swords drawn.
“There shouldn’t be too much to worry about in here. Just the occasional—“
A loud screech sounded from above them, and the two of them looked up in time to watch a giant humanoid bat launch from the roof of the cave and fly away into the dark.
“Camazotz…” Reyes finished.
“Are they friendly?” Katalina asked.
“It depends. This one just seemed angry we disturbed their nap. They live in caves all across Mexico and the lands of the dead, the remains of a fallen God with no leader to guide them.”
“That’s so sad.”
“That’s life.”
Suddenly, the ground under them seemed to change, going from rocky soil to stone in an instant. Reyes stamped on it a little.
“This is it, the entrance to the main area of the cave of souls. This is as far as I take you.”
“What do I do?” Katalina asked.
“Just stand here, in the middle. I will take care of the rest.”
Katalina walked out to where she thought the middle was and stood there.
“Gracias, El Reyalmas.” She said.
“You’ve done much for my family, Sanchez. Keep doing your job, and I’ll keep doing mine.” Reyes clapped his gloved hands together, an orange glow escaping through the cracks of his fingers, and the large, skull shaped stone that Katalina was standing on rose quickly into the air and kept rising, going up, up, up through the mist, and Reyes vanished from view.
’Ya Voy.’
-
The platform stopped rising in a bright room, a cave illuminated by billions of candles as far as the eye could see. About a couple hundred feet above her, Katalina could see a large, yellow form checking candles high above. Then, upon seeing her, it stopped and teleported away.
“What are you doing here?!” A man’s voice asked close to her ear. Katalina jumped with a yelp and held her swords to the God’s throat.
“Take me to the land of the forgotten or perish!” She shouted. The God in question was large and yellow, seemingly made of wax, and had a fluffy white beard along with stone jewelry.
“Ay ay ay! Jeez, Katalina, put those things away, you’re gonna poke someone’s eye out with those things, cuz.” He protested.
“How do you know me?! Are you the Candlemaker?! Answer me!”
“Yes, Yes, I’m the Candlemaker, now calm down.”
“I have journeyed for three days nearly nonstop to get this far, I’ve barely slept or eaten or even stopped walking. My feet are killing me and I smell like my grandpas and uncles after they finish bullfighting and don’t take a shower. You do NOT want to mess with me.”
“You don’t smell THAT bad.”
“Quit smelling me, you weirdo!”
“You’re right up in my face!”
“Tell me which one of these waterfalls sends me to the land of the forgotten or I’ll carve some more tattoos on your body and I’ll slice up every single candle in this damn cave.” She growled.
“That one, right behind you!” He pointed. Katalina glared at him, sheathed her swords, and turned to the waterfall. The blue cascades and cool mist seemed to beckon her. It was like there was an invisible string attached to her heart, pulling her towards the waterfall. She walked closer to it and reached her hand out to touch the water. It felt colder than ice and flowed across her fingers, beautiful life giving water. She furrowed her brow.
“I’m coming, Palli.”
She jumped into the waterfall.
The Candlemaker watched as she vanished into the water and mist, biting his nails. An ornate book floated down to him, flapping the pages in a way almost like talking.
“I know, I know, I knew this was coming. I shoulda played it cool.”
The book flapped again.
“No, I’m not gonna stop her. You and I both know she’s not gonna crack up on those rocks down there, she’s a tough kid. Besides,”
The Candlemaker summoned an extinguished candle, a longer one for someone who had died young. Unlike the yellowish-white wax of the other candles, the wax on this one had a green stripe on the bottom that was slowly but surely spreading.
“It won’t be long now. I give it… ten years max?”
-
Katalina landed like a cat on her feet, and her ankles almost cracked under the pressure. She opened her eyes and took in the sights around her. Obsidian stalagmites and stalactites spread out as far as the eye could see, accompanied by the occasional quiet, melancholy, almost statuesque skeleton of dark grey and uranium green. Ash fell from the sky and littered the ground, and she knew without a doubt where she was.
Katalina Sanchez was in the land of the forgotten.
She stood up tall and looked out over the bleak wasteland to an obsidian structure in the distance illuminated by a red glow from underneath.
“I’m Here, Palli.”

Chapter 23

Summary:

Two are once again one, and then once again two.

Chapter Text

The ash was surprisingly hard to get through, but fortunately not worse than snow. It piled up on Katalina’s boots, covering her boots and leaving stains all over her clothes as she trudged through it, occasionally having to slip between stalagmites and brush past lost souls. Was this what awaited her and her family when the living inevitably forgot them? Would they forget her, even with her deeds in war, or would she alone be left while the rest of her family faded into obscurity. A soul crumbled to dust in the corner of her eye. What happened to those souls that crumbled away? Were they lost forever, or did a better fate await them?
Katalina marched on through the ashes.
-
Xibalba’s castle towered over Katalina, a tall obsidian structure that seemed to be reminiscent of a snake or a dragon and covered in intricate stone carvings. The drawbridge was down, surprisingly. Evidently, this would be easier than Katalina thought. She took her fateful step onto the drawbridge, and her skeleton felt a little lighter. For once, a little more fragile.
-
Katalina entered the main exposed room of the castle, and found a sorry sight. There was a jagged, uncomfortable looking stone throne by the “balcony” (although the entire room seemed to be one giant balcony), and a pair of black wings could be seen jutting out from it.
“Palli?” Katalina gasped and began to walk towards it, only for the figure to turn around to face her and expose himself as Xibalba. Katalina stopped.
“You came.” He said despondently, but with a hint of amazement in his voice.
“You risked not your life, but your very existence and journeyed to my realm? You fought my other children, defeated the cave guardian, and presumably fought one of the Celestials just to get here?”
The Candlemaker was a celestial? Shit.
“Of course I did.”
Xibalba chuckled breathily.
“Color me impressed.”
“Where’s Etapalli?” She asked. Xibalba looked away, downcast.
“She’s here, in the castle. But I don’t think you’ll be able to reach her. They put a barrier in the doorway, I can’t pass through it. I don’t know if humans can pass through it, but if I had to guess I’d say no.”
“Why are you here? Usually you stay in the land of the remembered unless you have a lot of paperwork, and I’ve seen your workload compared to your wife’s and it’s minuscule. Did they send you here too?”
“No. I came willingly. I came to stay with my daughter, to protect her, to try and get through to her. But… I haven’t been doing a very good job of that…” He twirled around the violet snake staff, one of the heads still touching the ground.
“Do you know what it’s like? To see someone you care about more than anything in the entire world suffer and not be able to reach them? To not be able to hold them tight and tell them you’re there?”
Katalina envisioned that day, almost a week ago. She had knelt frozen and dazed on the ground and watched Etapalli be dragged away, their last touch missed by mere inches while tears filled both their eyes. She thought about how every dream she’d had in the little sleep she’d gotten since then consisted of the Goddess running into her arms and sweeping her into a tight hug, how she’d caressed her friend’s thick dark hair and took in the sweet scent of cocoa butter that followed her everywhere, only to wake up and find that it was all her imagination.
“I do.” She answered. She walked around the throne to face Xibalba, kneeling before him.
“Please, My Lord, take me to your daughter.”
Xibalba looked down at Katalina with red and green eyes—the same green she’d missed so much—sighed, and stood up.
“Come with me.”
-
Xibalba walked down the winding halls with Katalina close behind him.
“I don’t know if you’ll be able to get in there, and if you can, you have limited time.” He told her.
“What? Realm mandated visiting hours or something?” She joked. Xibalba glanced at her as she caught up to him.
“Something like that.”
They reached a large, ornate doorway to another room.
“We’re here.”
Xibalba stepped aside and allowed Katalina to look, and she could only look in horror.
On the other side of the room, Etapalli was suspended in midair in a pose not unlike the crucifixion. She was chained by her wrists to the ceiling, keeping her arms spread like a ’T’. One of her feet was free, but the other was shackled at the ankle and chained to a large metal ball. Her wings drooped sadly behind her, and her head drooped as well. She didn’t even look up to see who was there.
“Palli!” Katalina ran through the doorway, which evidently was not human-proofed. Etapalli looked up, her face a mess. Her eyeshadow and eyeliner were smeared and left tear marks running down her face not unlike her purple soul markings, and besides that she had dark bags under her eyes.
“Lina?” She croaked out in disbelief. Katalina ran to her and threw her arms around the chained goddess.
“I’m here. Oh Gods, I’m here, it’s okay.” Katalina reassured her, tears welling in her eyes and threatening to escape.
“Lina, what are you doing here?” Etapalli sounded close to crying as well.
“I came to find you. I’m here now, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Katalina separated to look up at her and cupped her face.
“Ay dioses, what have they done to you?” She asked, pushing Etapalli’s greasy hair out of her face to see her better and check for injuries.
“Oh Gods, Lina… You…” Etapalli’s eyes were full of tears.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
Katalina’s metaphorical heart cracked in two.
“W-What? But… But I came all this way? I came to stay with you. I came to find you.”
“No, nonono. Lina, Katalina, listen to me. You have to go back. You can’t stay here. Papá, why didn’t you tell her?!” Etapalli shouted towards the doorway.
“Tell me what?!”
“Look into my eyes, Lina. Look into my eyes and look for yourself. Please.”
Katalina looked at her reflection in Etapalli’s shining eyes, gorgeous hues of green that they were, and saw to her horror not her normal skeletal self that she’d become accustomed to, but a greying skull with soul markings that were beginning to glow green. She looked at her bony hands and found them also greying to her dismay.
“You have to go. Please, Lina. I can’t let this happen to you.”
“No… No. I’m staying with you. I… I can’t go back to how things were before I met you. I can’t be that person again.”
“And I can’t be the person I was before I met you…” Tears began to fall down Etapalli’s cheeks, landing on Katalina’s ashy face.
“But I can’t let this happen to you. Not now, not ever.”
“But I came all this way… I can’t lose you now.” Katalina sobbed and hugged Etapalli tightly, burying her face into the goddess’s blouse, unchanged from the day she had been arrested and smelling of sweat and cocoa butter.
“I’m sorry, Lina.”
“I won’t go. What are you going to do? Kick me out yourself? You’re chained up here, and I will stay right here with you until the day you’re free—no matter how long that takes. I promise you, Palli, I will always stay by your side and fight for you.”
“Cálmate, Cálmate mi soldado. You’re right, I can’t kick you out myself… But she can.”
Katalina looked up and behind her to the other side of the room, and there stood the angel knight that had chased her here, having reobtained the heavenly sword that Katalina had taken from them and then dropped. The angel walked towards them calmly, and Katalina separated from Etapalli and drew her swords, standing protectively in front of the goddess.
“You dare follow me here, enfermedad? I don’t care who witnesses me, I will take your stupid Holy head off your fucking shoulders!”
“Katalina, put those fucking things away.” Etapalli said tiredly.
“Sí, I’d listen to your girlfriend.” A woman’s voice said from under the helmet. The angel reached up and removed the helmet to reveal, at long last, their face.
Under the helmet was a woman, a young woman a year or two younger than Katalina. Her skin was quite dark, but her long hair was a lovely golden duck-fluff color, and her eyes were a breathtaking violet.
“Lina, this is Eva. She and I… We’re old friends. We lost contact after my first arrest—“
“You mean you cut contact.”
“…Right…”
“Friends?! This mocosa was sent by the Celestials and she’s been hunting me down for two days straight! I don’t know what the hell she’s doing, wether she’s trying to destroy me or drop me off somewhere where I can’t reach you but—“
“Actually, I was sent by Etapalli’s mother.” Eva said. Katalina’s eyes widened.
“Not to destroy you or drop you off somewhere dumb. La Muerte wanted me to bring you back to her unharmed.”
“Why would she want that?”
“Because of this.” Eva reached out and touched Katalina’s cheek with her gloved hand, and pulled away to show the ash that the human was quickly turning into.
“Katalina Sanchez, your heart is noble and your intentions are good, but look at yourself. You can’t help Etapalli like this. You’re destroying yourself, sacrificing yourself once again.”
“I never wanted that for you.” Katalina turned around to face Etapalli, who was speaking, and lowered her swords.
“You’ve sacrificed so much, vida. I can’t let you do that again. Not for me.”
“But—“
“We don’t know how long she’ll be here, anywhere from a year and a half to a hundred years.” Eva interrupted. Katalina turned to her
“But I assure you, those who care about her, we’re all fighting this. These hand chains come off in 24 hours, actually.”
“Oh thank the fucking celestials, my arms are killing me.” Etapalli groaned in relief.
“You’re no help to her here. You’re more valuable back home, with your family, and we’ll call on you when we need you. Please, Señorita Sanchez. Allow me to bring you home. You’ve fought enough for now.”
Katalina looked into Eva’s violet eyes, scouring for some glint of deception, but found only earnesty and genuine care much to her dismay. She turned back to Etapalli.
“It’s time to face the music, vida.” She extended her large wings to pull her into a hug, which Katalina accepted.
“Thank you for being with me all this time, mi soldado cantante. Now go, live your life… well, you know what I mean.” Katalina cupped her cheek, tears rolling down her ashy face.
“Adios, mi princesa. I-I… I love you.” Before Etapalli could answer, Eva teleported the two of them away in a flash of light, and the two were once again separated.

Chapter 24

Summary:

What now? Why won’t they fight?

Notes:

TW: Drug Use Mention

Chapter Text

“I th-think sh-she’s w-waking up.”
“Oh Thank Gods, I was afraid she was double dead.”
“D-Double d-dead? That’s n-not a thing, Eva.”
“Hey, you’ve seen the land of the forgotten.”
Katalina opened her eyes to light, warm light that had been deprived from her in the land of the forgotten. Warm light that had been deprived from—
“Palli!” Katalina shot straight up in bed. Wait, bed? She looked around to find herself in Etapalli and Alazne’s room, presumably in Etapalli’s bed.
“C-Cálmate, Cálmate, Katalina.” Alazne said, grabbing her shoulders.
“What the hell happened?”
“You passed out while we were teleporting. I didn’t know you would take it that badly.” Eva said, scratching the back of her head embarrassedly.
“Lo siento, Señorita.” The angel knight apologized.
“But o-on th-the bright s-side, you-you’re not tur-turning in-into a for-forgotten soul a-anymore. See?” Alazne held up a mirror for Katalina and sure enough, her bones were no longer ashy and her soul markings were no longer all shades of green, but rather the rainbow hues she had long since become accustomed to. She touched her cheek, pure bone, and sighed.
“I failed…” Katalina said, looking down at her lap. Alazne took the mirror away with a frown and reached out to touch her face.
“L-Lina, that’s not—“
The door flew open, and all three women turned to look at the door. In the entryway to the room stood a very agitated female bullfighter.
“KATALINA RAFAELA POSADA-SANCHEZ! ¡Repugnante hija de burro leproso! Where the FUCK have you been?!” Mireya shouted before crossing the room to her. Alazne, who had been sitting on the edge of the bed, quickly moved out of the way.
“We have all been worried sick! You stole Plata AND papá’s swords! And then Plata came back on her own and… and…” Mireya’s angered face softened until she looked like she was about to cry. Then, she quickly put on her angry face again and punched Katalina in the arm hard enough that her shoulder threatened to dislocate.
“Ow!” Katalina yelled.
“If you EVER do that again I will hunt you down and grind your bones up so fine I can use them for flour to make Pan Dulce! Young Lady, you are GROUNDED!”
“You’re not my mom, you can’t ground me.” Katalina retorted, but was pulled into a tight hug by Mireya.
“Ay, hermana, I’m so glad you’re okay.” Then, she pulled away and slapped her across the face.
“Don’t do it again!” She shouted before hugging her sister tightly. Katalina looked at Alazne and Eva helplessly from over Mireya’s shoulder.
“S-Señora Sanchez, I don’t think this is very conducive to Katalina’s healing.” Eva suggested in as friendly a tone as she could manage. Mireya turned to glare at her.
“Oh, so I have to take advice from an angel who had the one job of hunting her down and bringing her home unharmed?”
“Reya, cállate.” Katalina begged. Mireya turned back to look at her sister, who looked as though she was about to cry. She hugged her tightly once more.
“Ay dioses, Lina. Don’t run off like that again, not again. I-I was so scared that it would be like last time. That you wouldn’t come home…” Mireya sounded like she was going to cry and Katalina hugged her tightly.
“I’m sorry…” Katalina whimpered.
“You’re here now. You’re safe….” Mireya separated from Katalina.
“And you smell awful. When we get home, you’re taking a shower before anything else. Gods, what are you covered in? Ash? You didn’t burn anything down, did you? I’m not paying for any structural damages to anyone’s home.”
“No, no. Nothing got burnt down.”
“She did give me a massive bump on the back of my head, though.” Eva said with a joking smile.
“Assaulting an angel knight? Jesus, Lina, are you back in World War Two?”
“Maybe if she didn’t want me to knock her out, she shouldn’t have chased me like a hunter chasing a Fox.”
“Ay ay ay.” Mireya pinched the bridge of her nose.
“I can’t leave you alone for five minutes. Are you okay to walk? I’ll take you home.”
“A-Actually… My M-Mother w-wanted t-to speak w-with her first.” Alazne interrupted.
“Of course.” Mireya stood up and offered her hand to Katalina, who hesitantly took it and got out of bed. She looked over to Alazne.
“Lead the way.” She told her.
-
Katalina sat in a chair across from La Muerte. The library had been vacated, it was just Human and Goddess left alone near the crackling fire. In a climactic manner, it was raining outside, and the droplets pattered on the stained glass windows of the large library.
“You’ve healed remarkably well.” La Muerte told her.
“Even your father, grandmother, and great grandfather still have a scar or two on their bones and they didn’t change as rapidly as you did. They were still white bones when they left except in a few places.”
Katalina didn’t speak. She just stared at the flames. La Muerte sighed and began.
“You’re a very brave girl, Katalina Sanchez. You’re just like your father was at that age, the way he still is. As much as I love humanity, most of them wouldn’t even venture that far for their own family, let alone a Goddess who has long been the subject of scrutiny like my daughter.”
Katalina took a deep breath.
“May I speak freely, my lady? Without you or anyone else blasting me into bone fragments?”
Katalina looked up, and La Muerte looked at her concernedly.
“The floor is yours.” The goddess said. Katalina clutched at her dirtied colonel’s uniform.
“How can you and your family let this happen to her? I don’t want to make it sound like you’re a terrible mother, because you’re not. You genuinely care for your children, and I’ve met too many parents who can’t even do that. But it feels like everyone has been so passive about it. Why has nobody but me stood up and fought, taken up the sword?”
La Muerte sighed.
“I don’t blame you for asking. I’ve always said life can be very tough for the living, but it’s even harder when your life is eternal to an extent. Us Gods, we’re held back by different rules. Our hands are tied in ways that humans can’t even imagine.
Unfortunately, my Etapalli has never been good at fitting the status quo. She’s always questioned the way things are, and that’s one of the things I love most about her. My daughter was never one to kneel or turn the other cheek. If she sees a problem, she fixes it and she goes in fighting.”
“I’ve noticed that. She’s not one to back down from a fight, is she?”
“No. Unfortunately for her, some fights need to be left alone. Some fights require poise and stature, or a gentle hand, and not charging in like a bull. Ay, I wish I could blame that on her father, but I was the same way when I was young.
I love my daughter’s drive, her passion, her kindness, I really do. But unfortunately, most people only see her fists and not the love driving the blows behind them.”
La Muerte shook her head.
“To answer your question, I have to answer to the higher powers not just for her sake, but for the sake of all my children and my subjects. I have been advocating and fighting for my daughter since this all started decades ago, but I have to be diplomatic about it.”
Katalina fidgeted with her hands, not looking at La Muerte.
“She thinks you hate her, you know. She’s seen what she thinks is fear in your eyes when you look at her. She thinks…” Katalina took a deep breath.
“She thinks you look at her and see a monster.”
La Muerte looked at the crackling fire.
“I am scared. Not of her, never. I could never fear my children. I’m scared for her. You humans know more than anyone how those who break the mold are treated. Neither side ever really recovered after the war between the Gods of the Underworld and Humanity, especially not the Gods. Because it was started by a handful of Gods, all of us were punished.
All of my children were born after the war, and all of them were born into a world of injustice. All of them had high standards placed upon them solely because of where they came from. Some, like Reyes, try to fit the status quo to survive. Others, like Etapalli, think there must be a better way and set out to fix things.”
“I know what that’s like. I know it all too well.”
“My daughter is complex and traumatized, but she is a bright soul with a lot to give. I wish more people could see it.”
“I see it.” Katalina told her. La Muerte looked back at the human.
“When I first met her here, I knew she was a Goddess, but mostly I just saw a scared teenager. When I learned she was La Carroñera, I knew something wasn’t adding up. I knew then that there was more to the story than anyone was told. I knew that I had to find out what that story was.”
La Muerte smiled.
“You’ve been such a good friend to her. Ever since you started visiting, she was changed. For years I was a mother to a terrified, angry, traumatized girl. After you came, I could see that happy, vibrant little girl that I thought I’d lost. I can never express my gratitude enough.”
“My mother would say the same thing.” Katalina said.
“My Abuela too.”
“I don’t know you as well as my daughter, but you do seem to have changed much from the scared girl that first entered my realm all those years ago.”
“We’ve changed each other for the better. I… I’m scared that I’ll go back to the girl who stayed out all night screwing anyone who smiled at her and smoking tobacco and opium without her around to give me something to look forward to. I used those to try and feel happy but… I think they just made me feel worse.”
“If you know that, then I believe you won’t go back to that. But if you ever need to get away, if you ever need someone to go to, my doors are always open. My other children are here for you too, if you need a friend your age.”
“Thank you, Señora. That means more than you could possibly know.”
La Muerte smiled and took Katalina’s hand.
“Whatever this whole ordeal holds, we’ll all face it together. My daughter will come home, and you will see each other again.”
“I hope so…” Katalina blushed.
“I think… I think I may be in love with her.” She admitted. La Muerte showed a hint of surprise on her face, but it quickly faded and was replaced with an affectionate smile.
“If it helps, I think she feels the same way.”

Chapter 25

Summary:

“State your name for the record.”
“…Why do you have so many eyes?”

Notes:

TW: Discussions of Rape/Sexual Assault, Drug Use, and Alcohol. Racism.

Chapter Text

“State your name for the record.”
“…Why do you have so many eyes?”
There were two beings in the room with Katalina, both equally horrifying. One, the one who had spoken, a mass of wheels covered in eyes. The other, a four-headed, six winged creature that had four heads; one of a bull, one of a lion, one of an eagle, and one that was humanoid.
“That is not the question you were asked, girl.” The four headed creature sneered.
“Katalina Rafaela Posada Sanchez.”
“What year were you born?” The wheels asked.
“1925.”
“What year did you die?”
“1945.”
“Where were you born?”
“San Ángel, Mexico.”
“Where did you die?”
“Somewhere in the Black Forest, no towns nearby. Only military bases.”
“What did you do for a career in life?”
“I was in the Mexican Army. I started out as a foot soldier and then worked my way up to Colonel.”
The four headed creature finished writing everything down, and then muttered an incantation over the quill they held, causing it to stand up on its own and prepare to write.
“This quill will write on its own, and it will write anything you say. Everything you say here will be on permanent record. Now, start from the beginning: what is your history with the goddess known as ‘La Carroñera’?”
Katalina sighed.
“We met as children, our mothers used to exchange childcare every so often. I do not have a lot of memories of this, because I was very young. The arrangement stopped when I was around four years old, and I did not meet Etapalli again until eight months ago.”
“How did you meet?”
“I was playing my guitar in a plaza near the castle. That part of town is nearly empty, everyone either moved out or were forgotten. Nobody wants to be too close to the castle nowadays. I go there for peace and quiet. She heard me from the castle and snuck out to get a closer look.”
“So she broke her house arrest agreement?”
“Only that one time, and the most recent incident.”
“What happened in the plaza?”
“She listened to my music, requested a song, danced a little. She didn’t get to dance much because she was taken into custody afterwards, that’s when I found out who she was.”
“Did She keep sneaking out to see you?”
Katalina inhaled sharply, trying to keep her cool.
“No. Later that night, I went to see her to finish the song she requested and was invited back by her brother.”
“Had you heard of the princess before this encounter?”
“Of course I had. I mean, she’s the princess. We all know stories.”
“And you still went?”
“I saw no evil in her. Only a scared, sad girl. I wanted to know more.”
“So you became her companion.”
“Yes.”
“Did You do this of your own will or were you forced?”
“I was clear of mind and did this of my own will.”
“Did you regret this decision?”
“No.”
“What did you get out of this?”
Katalina paused.
“I got a friend.”
“Why would a God be interested in a mere human like you?”
Katalina sighed.
“I’ve asked myself the same question.”
“Did she really want to be your friend?”
“Why would she invite me back to the palace if she didn’t want to be my friend? She has never been anything but honest with me.”
“What happened on that day with Señor Alvarez?”
“I was walking home, still near the castle. I was attacked and cornered by him, and he tried to assault me.”
“What motivation did he have for this?”
“We used to be lovers in life, but he outed me to the army after I left him. He was always pushing my boundaries and trying to convince me to leave the life of a soldier and be a wife to him, but I was too young and felt like I had a duty to protect those hurt by the war.”
“And what happened with La Carroñera?”
“Etapalli showed up when he was putting his hand up my skirt and pulled him off me before attacking him herself in order to defend me.”
“Did you try to fight back yourself?”
“I did, but was unsuccessful.”
“But you said you were a soldier.”
Katalina took a deep breath.
“He caught me off guard, I was out of practice, and when I saw him I just froze. My body wouldn’t do anything useful.”
“What do You know about the rape of the princess at the hands of the God of Sacrifice?”
Katalina felt like chewing glass, and she dug her fingers into her jeans.
“Why is this a question? What does this have to do with anything?”
“Do not ask questions when you are being questioned, human. If she was really honest with you, you would have known all the details. Besides, the question seems fitting given the circumstances of the last violation of her arrest.”
“She has told me nothing, and as it was a traumatic time in her life, I respect her privacy. If and when she wants to tell me, she will.”
“And what about the war?”
The room was completely silent except for the scratching of the Quill.
“What about the war? She was born after it.”
“Not the war between the Gods and Man. The Second World War.”
Katalina was quiet and looked at her lap.
“Was that a ‘traumatic’ time in your life?”
“…Yes.”
“The war led you, as well as many others, to sin, did it not? Drugs, alcohol, adultery?”
Katalina was silent.
“Did it?”
“Yes.”
“And You were still partaking in sin after death?”
“Yes, but I’ve been mostly clean for months now. I still smoke on occasion, but I used to smoke at least three cigarettes a day so I feel like—“
“Did you have any lasting connections outside of your family?”
“…No. All of my friends in life are still alive.”
“So you were lonely.”
“…Yes.”
“So, have you considered the possibility that this Goddess was preying on your need for companionship by mirroring your dilemma? Have you considered that you were being tricked? Did you really think a half-breed God, especially one as volatile and savage as this one, would ever actually care about a meaningless, insignificant human like yourself?”
A thin thread snapped. Katalina looked up at the beings before her with a glare that spelled death.
“Do You really think this is fair? Is this what Justice is in this land? If so, it’s complete bullshit. I don’t care that it’s on the record, because I want whoever’s in charge to see what I’ve said.
You can’t just summon me here with barely any warning to ask pointless questions about the past, especially past events that I have barely any knowledge of because you want to make a point. She was a fucking child when all of this happened, she’s STILL a fucking child! Why would you hold that against her?! You make her out to be a monster when she’s nothing but a scared child in need of help!
You and your kind have shown her nothing but intolerance when you should be showing her compassion and love. Did you ever think to get her a counselor, anything like that? Did you ever think to actually do ANYTHING that benefits her and the rest of the world instead of caging her like a fucking animal because you had an agenda to prove? No, you didn’t, because you don’t actually care about humans, Gods, or anyone. You only care about appearances. You only care about yourselves.
I don’t know all the logistics of who’s in charge, but I know that this system you’ve built is cruel and harmful not just to Etapalli—that’s her name. Not La Carroñera, Etapalli.—but to everyone in the entire universe. Si crees que esto es justicia, que esto es paz, ¡entonces toma tu paz y métetela por el culo! Ya terminé aquí.”
Katalina stood up from the chair and left the room, walking through a bright light and entering the courtyard of the family villa. Mireya was waiting for her, right where she left her by the garden.
“Well?”
“I’ve had just about enough of angels, or whatever those things were. I don’t care how long it takes or if they come for me, I will free her. This I swear.”

Chapter 26

Summary:

How do you cope when your favorite person in the world is gone?

Notes:

TW: Talk of death and decomposition, mentioned drug use

Chapter Text

Katalina barely left the garden. Every day she was out there toiling away. She planted flowers, trees, fruits and vegetables. She weeded and dug her fingers into the rich earth, bringing up the dead worms and grubs in her skeletal hands. She watched them squirm and writhe and wondered what it looked like when they had bored into her flesh and eaten away her old body, if these were the same ones that had once built their lives off of her death. Had they enjoyed her wretched, filthy form back then? Had she been able to be of some use to them, just like she was constantly of use and service to everyone else?
The feeling of dirt in between her joints was uncomfortable, but at the same time it was the only thing that kept her from taking to the streets. The only thing that kept her from opium and sex and her further destruction.
-
Katalina barely went to the castle anymore, barely even left the house. She had to keep busy, and she didn’t need outside temptation. On occasion, one of the princes or the remaining princess would stop by to greet her and give her life updates. It was usually Tonalli or Alazne, never Reyes or Itzal. But on one occasion, the youngest prince stopped by.
“Has anyone asked how you’re feeling in all of this?” Katalina asked Xochiquen.
“Mamá has, but I don’t want to worry her more so I said I was okay.”
“And that was a lie?”
Xochiquen didn’t speak, only played with dirt. Katalina sighed.
“¿Quieres hablar acerca de ello?”
Xochiquen nodded.
“Adelante, I’ll listen.” It took a few moment of silence, but eventually Xochiquen spoke.
“She’s my sister, and she’s the closest in age to me. She’s always been there, not just for me but for all of us. Mamá says that when I was born, I was really early. Way too early. She and I were both sick, and everyone thought I wouldn’t survive. Etapalli stayed with me all the time back then, watching over me. Sometimes she’d even sleep in my crib with me. We’ve always been close, cómplices. Seeing her hurt… it makes me sad. I hate that they’re treating her like this, I hate that she’s away, and I… I don’t know when I’ll see her again.” Tears started to fall from his eyes and yellow Chrysanthemums bloomed from the ground where they fell. Yellow for lost love.
Katalina held her arms open to the godling, and Xochiquen hugged her tightly, crying into her shoulder.
“Lo sé, principito. It’s going to be okay.”
-
Months passed, turning into years. There was no word back from anyone about anything, and Katalina could only count her blessings that the creatures who had interrogated her—apparently angels, though Katalina had never heard of angels looking like that (and Nico and Eva didn’t look nearly as monstrous)—hadn’t smote her and her entire family for her insolence.
The days seemed as long to Katalina as they had been in the first days of her arrival. The only thing she could do was work, keep her hands busy, work harder than her family and keep working when they told her to rest. Tend to the garden, make meals, wash dishes, clean the house, clean Chuy’s pigsty, clean Plata’s stables (even though she could only clean them so much when Plata and Joaquin were away), run drills so she wouldn’t freeze up in combat again, do anything that could keep the darkness out of her head until her head hit the pillow at night.
-
Two years passed. It would be Etapalli’s eighteenth birthday, and Katalina laid awake and clothed in her bed, having retired early while her family was having a fun night downstairs. She didn’t want to be in the middle of that, how could she enjoy it when her friend and crush was spending what should be a happy day locked up in a desolate wasteland?
Indeed, her feelings of affection towards the goddess hadn’t waned in all that time, even though Etapalli had been exiled and imprisoned for longer than Katalina had even known her. Her confession at their last meeting was something she regretted. She didn’t want to put that on Etapalli’s shoulders, and she kicked her own ass over it every day. The feelings that had gradually built up over the course of their friendship had just naturally spilled out at the threat of them being separated forever. Even on the off chance Etapalli did return her affections, where would that lead? Katalina was a human, and a dead one at that. She would one day be forgotten, and after she was forgotten she would disappear forever. She didn’t even know how long Etapalli would remain imprisoned, it could be for centuries after Katalina had withered away. She couldn’t marry or start a family with the goddess, and the thought of that seemed way too fantastical to ever become a reality. She had nothing to offer the object of her affection, and it killed her.
Katalina laid in her bed, running her fingers along a piece of paint-stained fabric that she kept under her pillow every night. But then, from outside she heard the soft rustle of feathers, and someone began to sing from the ground below her window.

Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can’t help
Falling in love with you

Katalina sat up. ’It couldn’t be.’

Shall I stay,
Would it be a sin?
If I can’t help
Falling in love with you?

Katalina rushed to her window and threw it open, beating the closed curtains out of the way. Behind the movement of the white curtain, she saw a standing figure with outspread wings.

Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be

Etapalli sang, free at long last and looking up at Katalina with her beautiful green eyes full of tears and a soft smile on her face. She reached out her hand, the way she had done on that day two years ago.

Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can’t help
Falling in love with you

Katalina backed away from the window, and if she’d had organs her heart would have been pounding like a war drum inside her chest. She couldn’t see it, but Etapalli’s smile began to fall. Then, in a moment of emotion without logic, Katalina ran and lept from the window, falling into Etapalli’s arms.
“You’re here! You’re here!” She laughed, hugging her as the Goddess spun her around with a laugh.
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you, Ay, my Lina.” She looked at the former colonel with teary eyes full of nothing but love.
“Ay, como te extrañé tanto.”
“But how did you—“
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll explain.”
“I need to know if my family’s home will be swarmed by angel knights.”
“No, no. You’re safe. I promise. I didn’t escape. I’m a free woman now, Katalina. After I greeted my family, the first thing I did was come to find you.”
“Why me?”
“Did my song mean nothing to you when your words meant so much to me, mi vida?”
Katalina gazed up at her and cupped her face, and like the climax of a song, leaned in and kissed Etapalli. Out of every kiss she’d exchanged over the course of her life and her death, this was the only one that seemed to feel just right. She briefly felt insecure about her lack of the soft lips she’d possessed in life, but Etapalli didn’t seem to care. It was beautiful and hot. No, quite literally hot. Katalina opened her eyes and found dancing flames were licking the ground around Etapalli’s feet.
“Ah! Mi Cielo!” Katalina separated, warning her with a sense of urgency. Etapalli’s eyes opened and she panicked when she saw the flames.
“Ah!” She cried and quickly stamped them out, her face bright red with love-turned-embarrassment. Katalina laughed a little.
“It’s just a bit of an obstacle to work around, but we’ll do it together.”
“Y-You think so?” Etapalli set Katalina down on the singed ground.
“I know so.” Katalina took her hand, and there was a soft silence for a moment or two. Etapalli shuffled her feet.
“So uh, what do we do now? I didn’t actually think this far ahead.”
Katalina smiled.
“Well, typically we would meet each other’s families. But I’ve already met yours, so…” Katalina separated from her for a moment to look at the silhouettes of her family inside the house, then she turned back to Etapalli and held out her hand.
“Would you like to meet my family?”
Etapalli smiled and took her hand.
“I would love to.”

Chapter 27

Summary:

Time to meet the family

Chapter Text

Katalina pushed open the door to her family’s home.
“Just hang back for a moment, I don’t want to spring it on them too suddenly.”
Etapalli nodded and waited in the doorway as Katalina went into the house and to the nearby room where her family was.
“Lina! We thought you went to bed!” Manolo said with a surprised smile. Some of the other family members like Maria, Carmen, and Luis turned to welcome her.
“I couldn’t sleep. I… I have someone I want you all to meet, but you have to promise not to freak out.”
Katalina turned to the doorway and held her hand out with a gentle smile.
“Vamos, it’s okay.”
Etapalli hung back for a moment before hesitantly reaching out and taking Katalina’s hand. Katalina led her inside and brought the goddess into the light. The party came to a halt, with all of the family stopping what they were doing to gaze upon the young goddess that Katalina had brought home.
“Everyone, this is Etapalli.”
Etapalli gave a shy wave and a half smile, standing behind Katalina a little. There was a painfully tense moment before the faces of the Sanchez family broke out into smiles and they rushed to greet her with jumbled together cries of:
“Oh! How wonderful it is to meet you at last!”
“Katalina has told us so much about you!”
“Ay, que hermosa!”
“Ay, niña, you’ve grown so much since we last saw you! What a beautiful young lady you’ve become!”
“Welcome to our home, Señorita!”
Etapalli, both intimidated and excited by the positive attention, looked over at Katalina nervously. Katalina chuckled.
“It’s alright, they don’t bite. Go on.”
“It’s uh… It’s very nice to meet all of you.” She said nervously. Then, she was dragged into the sitting room by the family to join the socializing. Katalina watched for a moment with a smile before joining them.
-
“So you’re the goddess that my sister has been gushing about nonstop for two years?” Mireya questioned. Katalina would have turned red if she could.
“That’s me.” Etapalli said. Mireya looked her up and down.
“I must admit I don’t exactly understand my sister’s taste, but it’s nothing against you. I just don’t swing that way.”
“Don’t worry. You’re not my type either.”
Mireya laughed.
“I like you. But if my sister ever goes to hell for you again, you don’t even know what I’ll do to you.”
“Reya!” Katalina elbowed her.
“I’m just saying.”
“That was two years ago, Déjalo ir.”
“So you’re a bullfighter?” Etapalli changed the subject. Mireya grinned.
“Champion of four hundred and twenty fights.”
“Really? How many fights did you have?”
“…Four hundred twenty one.”
“Oh.” Etapalli turned red.
“No hard feelings, hermana. el pasado es el pasado.”
“Sí, of course.”
Mireya nudged Katalina.
“Es un poco tonta, pero me gusta.” She whispered to the former colonel.
“Ay, cállate.” Katalina smacked her lightly on the shoulder.
“What? I just said I like her! Anyway, you should go introduce her to the rest of the family before the wine makes our tios start acting stupid.”
“You mean more stupid than they already are? But I see what you mean. Come, princesa. I’ll introduce you to the rest.”
-
Katalina was exhausted, and not in a bad way. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so genuinely happy. Etapalli had taken to her family like a duck to water, and within minutes the Sanchezes had accepted her as one of their own.
They’d all stayed up late, even with Katalina being used to late nights. In fact, she’d barely slept more than four hours a night for the past two years—not that anyone knew it, for being a former soldier meant that she was good at sneaking around without making much noise. The wine she’d drank certainly didn’t help her case much either.
Still, even with all her late nights, Katalina couldn’t deny how tired she was when the small fiesta finally dispersed.
“Are you sure you don’t need my help?” Etapalli asked her.
“No… No… I can get up the stairs by my—“ Katalina tripped over a step and was caught by the Goddess before she hit the wood. Etapalli giggled.
“Here, let me help. You’ve helped me more than enough.” She said, shifting Katalina to hold in her arms bridal-style before carrying her up the stairs.
“You’ll need to tell me which one is your room. I haven’t been up here yet.”
“Mhm.” Katalina hummed sleepily.
’She’s really strong…’ Katalina thought as she started to nod off with the soft beating of Etapalli’s heart right through her chest like a war-drum lullaby.
“Oye, Quédate conmigo.” Etapalli giggled, bouncing her slightly to wake her up.
“Hm’wake.” She mumbled, scanning the hallway with sleepy eyes. She tiredly pointed to the door of her room, decorated with a few flowers from the garden. The Goddess turned the handle of the door and gently pushed it open and entered the room.
“Your room is so tiny.” Etapalli marveled, ducking under the doorframe.
“Like a dollhouse.”
“You’re just tall.” Katalina let out a sleepy chuckle.
“Is this really your bed? It’s so small, like a child’s bed.”
“Didn’t realize I was being inspected by the bed police.”
“Lo siento.” Etapalli carefully laid her down on the mattress and pulled her sandals off, putting them neatly on the floor at the foot of the bed.
“Will you stay?” Katalina asked with a yawn. Etapalli smiled sadly as she sat on the edge of the bed next to Katalina.
“Not tonight. I promised my mamá I’d come home after I saw you. Until today, I haven’t seen any family besides my papá in two years. It’s only fair they want to keep me to themselves.” She gingerly pushed some of Katalina’s dark brown hair out of her face.
Katalina whined.
“But I want to keep you for myself too.”
“I know, I know. Tomorrow is kind of busy, but in two days my Mamá is holding a party to celebrate my birthday and my freedom. I…” Etapalli faltered, a shadow passing behind her eyes.
“I would appreciate it if you accompanied me… Como mi novia…” She blushed. Katalina smiled sleepily.
“I would love to.” Etapalli smiled and gently kissed Katalina’s forehead.
“I love you.” She pulled the blankets over her and made her way to the window.
“I love you too…” Katalina trailed off as sleep finally overtook her, and Etapalli disappeared with the closing of her eyelids.

Chapter 28

Summary:

“My sister doesn’t like parties”

Notes:

TW: Microaggressions, Discussions of Sexual Assault of a Child (nothing overly graphic is described), Implied date-rape drug usage, use of the term “Transsexual”*, Discussions of Underage Pregnancy and Abortion, Discussions of Violence/Injury

 

*I, the author, understand that the term Transsexual is often seen as an outdated term, and people in the Trans community have differing views on the usage of the word. The term is used in this context because this chapter takes place in 1986, a time where Transsexual was the preferred term used by many trans people.

Chapter Text

Diablo was waiting on the steps to the palace when Katalina arrived. He seemed unhappy at the commotion inside, but his tail started thumping when Katalina made her way towards him to give him an affectionate scratch behind the ears. He and the other dogs, in Etapalli’s absence, had apparently been taken care of by a cousin that Katalina had never met. She wondered briefly why that was the case, but decided to ask about it later.
“Ay, don’t drool on my shoes.” She chided the Fila before standing back up and pushing the doors of the palace open, making her way to the ballroom where the party would be taking place.
It had taken her a while the day before to decide what to wear, worried about looking either too plain or too fancy. In the end, her mother and abuela had taken her to a tailor a few neighborhoods over from their house and left with a dark green suit tailored to Katalina’s exact measurements, along with a few accessories such as a tie and so on.
“Oh celestials! You’re here! And you look incredible!” Tonalli materialized in front of Katalina, giving her a bit of a scare. He looked as bright and as beautiful as ever, wearing a dark blue suit with a long cape and a golden skull beaded onto the shoulder of the cape. Maybe she didn’t have to worry about overdressing at a party meant for Gods.
“Thank you. It’s good to see you, Tonalli. It’s been too long.”
“What do you have There?” Tonalli pointed at a boxy-shape in Katalina’s pocket.
“A present for your sister.”
“Can I see?”
“Nope.”
“Aw.”
“You’ll see it eventually. I feel bad, I was so caught up in the joy of her being free that I forgot to wish her a happy birthday. And it’s not much, but this is what I could afford.”
“Hey, I’m sure she’ll like it. Now, you better get in there. Between you and me, she doesn’t care for parties. She might be happier with you there.”
“I see. I better get in there, then. It’s nice to see you again, Tonalli.”
“See you around, Señorita Sanchez.” He lightly waved as she continued on her way to the ballroom.
-
When Katalina pushed open the doors to the ballroom, she immediately felt simultaneously out of place and completely unnoticeable. The room was full of Gods and Goddesses of all shapes, sizes (though most were much taller than her), and colors. A few magical beings could be seen here and there, but Katalina knew from the moment she entered the room that she was probably the only human who wasn’t staff.
“Oh good, you’re here!” Katalina was approached by a slightly familiar, living face.
“Nenetl?”
“I couldn’t miss this.” The Nagual said with a smile. She had chosen to show her beastly side tonight, donning the ears, tail, and claws of her jaguar spirit while not being completely transformed.
“But with me and Ariché both here, at least I’m not the only ‘human’.” She said with air quotations. Katalina momentarily thought to ask who Ariché was, but had more important things on her mind.
“Do you know where Etapalli is?”
“She’s set to make her official appearance soon. Within the next few—“ The attention of the room suddenly shifted towards a staircase on the other side of the ballroom. Katalina turned her attention as well, and despite the heights of those surrounding her (with the exception of Nenetl), she could see three figures at the top of the stairs.
La Muerte, on the left, had discarded her signature charro hat and low ponytail for the night, instead donning a long braid decorated with countless flowers and candles as well as a different style of red gown decorated with her signature marigolds and candles.
Xibalba hadn’t changed much from his usual attire, but he had definitely polished his armor and wore a black cape with a long train that rivaled his wife’s. Katalina snorted imagining the argument that must have entailed when La Muerte saw the train, but her amusement didn’t last long when she laid eyes on the middle figure.
Etapalli was clad in a dark blue ballgown covered in sequin images of stars and moons, as well as the occasional image of a winged horse. Her black hair was pulled into an elegant looking updo decorated with a silver tiara. Despite her lovely appearance, she looked extremely tense, much more tense than either of her parents seemed to be. Katalina thanked her lucky stars she wasn’t holding a drink, for if she had been she would have dropped the glass on the floor looking at her fr—girlfriend. They were girlfriends now.
“I cannot thank all of you enough for coming to my home tonight to celebrate the freedom and the birthday of my youngest daughter, Etapalli.” La Muerte spoke to the room.
“It means the world to our entire family. The past seventeen years have been rough, as I’m sure you all know. But today we turn over a new leaf, today we celebrate the wonderful, kind hearted young lady that I am proud to call my daughter. Now please, let the festivities continue.”
The party resumed, with some Gods staying in their places and returning to previous conversation while others made their way towards the stairs, where the Godly couple and their daughter descended out of Katalina’s line of sight. The former colonel, in turn, quickly tried to make her way through the crowd to get to her girlfriend.
The sea of Gods refused to part much for her, with a few individuals moving slightly out of the way but most of them not even acknowledging Katalina’s presence.
Eventually, Katalina managed to poke her head out through the front while Etapalli was being accosted by the other Gods.
“Princesa!” She managed to call out, catching the Goddess’s attention. Etapalli’s face lit up when she saw her, but then Katalina quickly lost sight of it when she was pushed back into the crowd by other gods. Before she could be trampled, however, a skeletal hand extended to her and she took hold of it, subsequently being led out of the crowd and to safety.
“Are you alright? These crowds can be brutal, I’m not a fan of them myself.” The Skeletal God who had helped her asked.
“I’ll be fine.” Katalina said, catching her breath and looking up at her savior.
Her savior was a tall skeleton man in a pinstriped suit, his face decorated with barely visible soul markings that could only be seen in direct light and that Katalina’s eyes could not distinguish. His eyes, or apparent lack thereof, were completely pitch black and empty.
“Um. Hola.” She said with a nervous smile.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself. My name is Jack, Jack Skellington.” His face fell a little.
“Or better known here as—“ Katalina quickly interrupted as she remembered.
“Ah! You’re one of Etapalli’s brothers! She’s told me about you. The oldest one, right?”
Jack smiled.
“Yes, yes that’s right. And you must be… Colonel Katalina Sanchez?”
“Sí, soy yo.”
Jack reached out and shook Katalina’s hand enthusiastically.
“Oh it’s just wonderful to meet you, Miss Sanchez. I’ve only been here a few hours but my sister just won’t stop talking about you. I haven’t seen her this happy in decades, so I thought that whoever you were, you must be very special.”
“O-Oh. Well, that’s very kind of you.” Before she could stop him, Katalina’s hand became detached and Jack stopped shaking it.
“Oh dear, I’m terribly sorry. I’m afraid I’m a bit enthusiastic, it’s been so long since I’ve managed to make a visit home and it’s such a wonderful occasion too.” He handed her back her hand, which Katalina took and popped back into its socket.
“No worries. Etapalli said you rarely get away from your realm, so I’m glad you were able to make it.”
“Thank you. I’m glad I could be here… even if there’s so many people here.”
“Tell me about it. I think I’m the only human here and I can’t even get to my own girlfriend and this party is supposed to be for her. We’re supposed to make our official debut as a couple tonight.”
“Well… if it makes you feel any better, the crowd will most likely disperse in a minute or two. Attention will be on my sister all night, but hopefully you won’t have to be completely trampled just to get close to her after a few minutes.”
“That does make me feel a bit better. Thanks, Jack.”
“No trouble, no trouble at all.”
-
Unfortunately, getting to Etapalli was easier said than done. No matter how hard Katalina tried, there always seemed to be an obstacle.
“Servidora,” Katalina was grabbed by the collar by a Goddess around her age on one attempt.
“Could you bring us some more fruit?”
Katalina whirled around and was met with the sight of three deities.
One of them was a tall, beautiful Mayan goddess with white hair, blue skin, and golden eyes not unlike La Muerte’s, and in her arms was a purple-skinned toddler that shared her hair and eye color (the irises and pupils themselves were in the shape of a skull, not unlike Xibalba’s) but sported dragon-like wings.
The Goddess that had grabbed Katalina had black and white hair not unlike Alazne’s along with turquoise skin and blue eyes, and a pair of snow-white feathered wings sprouted from her back.
“Not a servant, sorry.” Katalina said, pulling away. The winged goddess looked at the blue-skinned one standing next to her.
“Tia is really just letting anyone in here nowadays, isn’t she?” She giggled. The blue skinned goddess chuckled.
“It seems that way. Ay, she’s gone soft.”
Katalina silently seethed, unable to move or speak, and then she felt a hand on her shoulder.
“Tia Noche, Citlamina, I see you’ve had the honor of meeting my date to this event.” Etapalli said in a tone that sounded passive aggressive.
“Your date?” The turquoise skinned goddess, evidently Citlamina, laughed as she looked from Etapalli to Katalina.
“Of course YOUR date would be a human. You’re so funny, prima.”
“Ay, pobrecita. Your imprisonment seems to have done a number on you.” The older goddess, Etapalli’s aunt, said sympathetically and reached out to pat her niece’s head.
“We’re gods, Mija. Of course, seventeen years without powers could make you forget that. Still, what could a human possibly offer you that another God could not?”
Etapalli looked like she was ready to cause a scene, and Katalina could see sparks forming at her fingers. She quickly took her hand to ground her, to help her keep control. Etapalli seemed to notice this and snap back from whatever angry fog she had been entering. She took a deep breath.
“I don’t know, but at least this one has never been ashamed to be related to a criminal. Vamo, mi amor.” Etapalli led Katalina away.
“I’m so sorry. I was trying to come find you, I didn’t mean to cause a scene.” Katalina apologized.
“No hay problema. I’m sorry you had to meet my aunt and cousins, they can be a bit much.”
“Hey, at least the toddler wasn’t trash talking me.”
“Silverio? Nah, he’s just a baby. There’s a reason my aunt is holding him, though. He can be… a terror on his own to say the least.”
“Hm. Might make for a good revenge plan later.”
Etapalli giggled.
“You’re awful, I missed you.”
“I missed you too. You look amazing, by the way.”
“O-Oh. Thank you.” The goddess blushed.
“You look really good too, I love the outfit. It…” A horrible smile came over Etapalli’s face.
Suits you.”
Katalina laughed.
“That’s awful!” The human elbowed the goddess affectionately.
“That was good!” Etapalli protested with a smile.
“It was not.” The two of them approached a place where a few beings were hanging around. Eva was one of them, clad in a white dress with armored shoulders, but the other four were strangers to Katalina.
One of them was another Godling, a boy around Etapalli’s age, with blue skin and golden eyes not unlike Etapalli’s aunt, but his hair was a dark blue color like Etapalli’s dress.
The next was a human looking girl with straight black hair, or at least she would have looked human if not for her clawed hands, long pointy ears, and yellow eyes.
After her, there was another human looking girl with dark skin and dark eyes with a flowing mane of coral-pink hair.
The last was a Camazotz around her height with dark purple fur and beady eyes, who was munching happily on a mango.
“Lina, these are mis amigos. You’ve met Eva, of course.”
“Unfortunately.” Katalina said, looking Eva up and down skeptically. Eva smiled and waved.
“Oye, se bueno. Well, this is my cousin Cuetlachtli and his girlfriend Ariché.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Cuetlachtli said, holding out his hand to Katalina, who shook it.
“Likewise.”
“So you’re the special girl, huh? I see she picked a good one.” Ariché said with a fanged smile. Katalina blushed a little.
“I wouldn’t say special.”
“This is Nakawé, Eva’s friend she brought as a plus one.” Etapalli referred to the pink-haired girl.
“Hola.” Katalina said with a smile, holding out her hand to Nakawé.
“Charmed.” Nakawé said with a smile, refusing to take her hand. Katalina put it away.
“And this is is Hasen, one of my childhood friends.” Etapalli introduced the Camazotz, who smiled in acknowledgement but had a mouth full of mango.
“This has been nice and all, but if you’ll excuse us, Eva and I have things we were doing before you dragged us here to meet your… girlfriend.” Nakawé said, taking Eva by the hand and leading her away.
“See you around.” Eva said with a smile as she was dragged away by her friend.
“Thank the Gods she’s gone.” Hasen said, having finished their mango.
“She does seem un poco grosera, doesn’t she.” Katalina said. Ariché shrugged.
“She’s a mermaid, they tend to be pretty snobby creatures from my experience.”
“Is she? I didn’t see—“
“They can transform on land, which is even worse because you can’t just go inland to get rid of them.”
“And what about you?” Katalina asked. “I mean… No offense but-“
“None taken. I’m a Tlahuelpuchi.”
“Oh.”
“Do You have a problem with that?”
“No. I trust if you’re friends with Etapalli that you’re pretty cool. I just think it sucks that you can’t have food with garlic in it.”
Ariché laughed.
“I like you! When I have to hunt, I’ll spare your blood.”
“Not that I have any left, but I appreciate it.”
-
After Katalina was officially introduced to Etapalli’s aunt, it was only a matter of time before the human was swarmed by other deities who looked at her like a bug under a microscope.
“You’re a woman who wears a suit? How strange.” A pale skinned God remarked.
“I can do either.” Katalina replied quietly.
“I wonder what she looked like with skin on.” Said a demon with red eyes and a nasty smile.
“Probably not much of a looker. I mean, look at her bone structure.” Said a violet-haired Goddess.
“How much were you paid to be here?” A freckled Angel Knight asked.
“Nothing.”
“Oh please, drop the act. We all know that La Muerte hired you to be here and pose as her daughter’s consort.” Said the violet haired goddess.
“It’s not like anyone would ever choose a beast like that out of free will.” Another angel knight with green eyes commented with a laugh.
“Could you imagine? Especially a human like her, and a dead one at that. What could she possibly offer to a powerful Goddess, even a disgraced one like La Carroñera.” The pale skinned God said, chuckling.
“Her name is Etapalli.” Katalina said, but nobody paid her any mind.
“If you ask me, I’d rather be at work than at this party. But free alcohol is free alcohol.” A dark skinned Goddess with a large headdress said.
“Plus, it has been a while since we’ve been served by La Muerte herself. Her food is just to die for.” The red-eyed demon said. The group laughed, except for Katalina. She quickly tried to make an exit, but was grabbed roughly by the sleeve.
“And where do you think you’re going?” The freckled Angel Knight said, pulling her back.
“Aw, she’s like a little mouse.” The pale skinned God cooed.
“We’re not done with you yet, señorita.”
Just as Katalina wished for an out, there was an explosion of what seemed to be a nebulous firework near the ceiling, which grabbed the attention of everyone in the room. Then, another firework that seemed to be made of pure light went off. As the fireworks went off, a scream could be heard from across the room, and when the crowd parted enough, Katalina could see that someone had let the Hellhounds into the ballroom to attack the banquet table. Every flower in the room started to bloom and close up in pulses, and the room was chaos. Katalina had wished for an out, and she’d gotten it.
She saw the door to the balcony that led to the garden was open ajar, and despite the chaos she made a maneuvered beeline for the door, reaching it just in time and closing it behind her before sinking to the ground in relief. She briefly wondered where Etapalli was, but didn’t have to wonder long before she caught a glimpse of a winged figure standing by the fountain in the garden below, a place Katalina knew all too well. She stood and began to make her way to the garden.
-
Etapalli stood by the fountain with a beautiful black vulture perched on her arm, her hands gently trailing along the bird’s feathers.
“I was wondering where you were.” Katalina spoke up from behind her, startling the Goddess and causing the vulture to raise its wings in alarm. Etapalli turned around.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Katalina sat down on the edge of the fountain next to her.
“Who’s your friend?”
“His name is Ki’ik. Isn’t he lovely?” The vulture affectionately nibbled at Etapalli’s fingers, and she made a low clicking sound with her tongue before tossing her arm up and allowing Ki’ik to fly away.
“I didn’t know you were a bird person.”
“I didn’t either, but the land of the forgotten does some surprising things to you. Most humans don’t know that birds can travel between the realms at will. Powerful creatures, full of majesty and love.” Etapalli turned around to Katalina and sat on the edge of the fountain next to her with a sigh.
“Your brother said you don’t really like parties.” Katalina said.
“I don’t.” Etapalli said.
“I thought having you here would make it easier, but it’s just the same stuff over and over again. I know that most of these people aren’t even here because they want to celebrate me. It’s just politics.” The Goddess fiddled with her dress anxiously. Katalina sighed.
“I’m sorry, if I’d known that the other night, I wouldn’t have invited you to—“
“I enjoyed the get-together at your family’s house. Your family is delightful, and it was small enough. Don’t apologize for that.”
Etapalli looked at her hands.
“You know the baseline story, but… I’ve never told you what really happened when I was a child.”
“You don’t need to if you’re not comfortable with it. The last thing I ever want to do is cause you distress”
“You have a right to know.”
Katalina sighed.
“You can stop at any time, alright? If you need me, I’ll be right here.”
Etapalli nodded.
“It was a party, just like this one. A centennial gathering in the land of the Blessed, the highest of the realms and the place of Celestials and Angels, ruled over by the Creator. I was only ten at the time, and I was so excited for it. My mother brought me a new dress and everything.
We went to the party, and unfortunately it was more of a formal affair. Boring for a child. But I wanted to act grown up instead of taking the easy way out like the other kids, who were playing, so I stayed near my parents… And then I got separated… And then he came to me.”
“Who is—“
“His name was Iztzli. He was the God of Sacrifice, and he was my brother Itzal’s lover. The two had been friends for years, it was only natural that it would evolve into that. That is to say that I trusted Iztzli, all of us did. He had always been kind to us kids.”
Katalina thought back to the Godling in Itzal’s flashbacks.

’Perdóname…
Lo siento, Manita. Lo siento mucho.’

“He saw I was bored and told me we should sneak into the garden, because it would be more interesting than staying at the party. My parents were preoccupied talking to other Gods, so I agreed and we snuck out. He even brought me a glass of lemonade because I was thirsty.
I was just being a kid, running around the garden and exploring with Iztzli keeping close to me so he could ‘keep an eye on me’. Then, I started to feel weak. Not tired, I didn’t feel like falling asleep, but my body just… refused to work. My wings felt heavy, my arms and legs were limp, and soon I couldn’t move at all. I couldn’t even move my mouth to talk or scream. Iztzli said he was taking me inside, but then took me to the farthest, most secluded corner of the garden and…”
Etapalli trailed off. Her nails digging into the fabric of her dress. Katalina reached out and took her hand.
“It’s okay, I’m here.” She said quietly.
“You don’t need to go on, no need to go into detail.”
Etapalli sniffled.
“When he was done with me, he cleaned me up and told me I was his now, that he had a right to me over anyone else. To make sure I always knew this, he took his dagger—a golden talisman—and carved the letter ‘I’ on my lower hip, just above my leg. I still have the scar…
He told me if I was to tell anyone, that he would hunt down and kill my entire family, and that it was all my fault if they died. I had no choice, so I kept quiet. I went back to the party once I could move again, and my family left shortly after. I didn’t speak a word.”
“Well… it had to get out somehow. How did that happen?”
“My brother, Oroitz. Oroitz is considered one of the most powerful Gods, or at least he used to be. He’s the God of Dreams, and every single being with a brain in this universe dreams. Even Gods. He can bring messages in dreams and he can view the dreams of others.
I had horrible nightmares for a long time after the accident, and one night Oroitz happened to see them and figured out what happened.
The next morning I woke up to a note from him that said he knew what happened and he would make sure Iztzli paid for what had happened, that he loved me. He was gone all day… and then the entire next day… Everyone searched everywhere for him, and eventually he was found nearly dead in the Arctic of all places, where nobody would have thought to look for him.
Nobody knows the specifics of what happened, if they did, Oroitz would have been cured by now. But he was cursed, cursed to be a prisoner in his own mind and barely able to comprehend the waking world, only able to speak in riddles. I knew it was Iztzli who did this, but what could I do? He had fulfilled his promise and taken my older brother away from me. So I kept quiet.”
Tears threatened to fall from Etapalli’s eyes and she quickly wiped them away.
“I kept quiet for a month, and then I overheard my sister Sartana talking with her friends, just gossipping, teenager or young adult stuff. They started talking about where babies come from, and I got so scared. I didn’t know how being transsexual would factor into it, I wouldn’t learn about that for a while. All I knew is he was a boy, I was a girl, and when a boy and a girl engage in… relations, you get a baby.
I was fucking terrified, how could I not be? So I threw myself down the stairs, thinking that would get rid of ‘the baby’. I ended up hitting my head pretty hard and got knocked out, and when I came to, my Mamá was by my bed fretting over me. Once I was more conscious, she told me she’d found Oroitz’s letter in my dresser and asked what the letter was about. I… I didn’t have any choice, and I came clean.
She was supportive, Papá too, but both were furious. To this day, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them so enraged. It was a miracle they actually went to the Creator instead of hunting Iztzli down themselves, they’d be fully capable of it too. He was arrested and a trial followed. I don’t remember all the specifics, I was too young at the time to really understand them. But Iztzli was stripped of Godhood, castrated, and banished from the realm of the Gods. I watched it happen… As disturbing as it sounds, watching him scream in pain as hellfire engulfed his body and stripped the flesh from his bones was… the happiest I had been in months after the incident. I decided then and there that if there were any more men like Iztzli anywhere in the thirteen realms, I needed to make them feel the same pain as he felt that day.”
“That’s why you went on that little spree of violence? Ran away from home?”
Etapalli nodded.
“I was young, my older sister had just been taken away from me by a man too. I didn’t understand then that not all crimes are created equal, and I punished everyone equally for any crimes they’d committed, even out of desperation. I showed them the fire. If I could do it all over again, I’d just focus on men like Iztzli… I feel bad, not for the few men like that I did end up killing, but for the others who had to suffer for crimes that were out of desperation rather than cruelty. I wish I could atone for that.”
Katalina thought for a moment, listening to the music pour out of the windows of the ballroom.
“Well… We don’t have to figure that out tonight. Tonight is about you, and with all the tears you’ve shed, I feel like making you smile. So…” Katalina reached into her pocket and handed a small box to Etapalli.
“Happy Birthday.”
Etapalli opened the box and pulled out a long stone necklace made of Lapis and Malachite.
“It’s not much but…”
“It’s beautiful. It’s amazing. Thank you.” Etapalli put the box aside and put the necklace on, her fingers traveling along the stones, tears still pouring down her face.
“Now that that’s settled…” Katalina stood up and offered her hand to Etapalli.
“May I have this dance?”
The Goddess wiped her eyes and took the human’s hand.
“You may.” She said with a smile as she stood.
Katalina pulled Etapalli close, holding one of her hands and placing her free hand on the small of Etapalli’s back.
“Is this alright?”
“More than.” The Goddess said with a blush as she placed her free hand on Katalina’s shoulder.
The two swayed to the music, slowly waltzing together in complete harmony. The night air was still and warm, and nothing else in the world seemed to matter. Etapalli spun her partner, and Katalina twirled gracefully. It was the way a woman in Paris had taught her long ago, her name forgotten. It didn’t matter anyway, because for the first time in decades, Katalina’s thoughts only focused on the beautiful woman in front of her. The two rejoined, dancing close and slow together.
“I’m sorry I’m not tall like you.” She apologized.
“It would be much easier if I was.” The Goddess chuckled.
“Mi Querida, you are the most lovely and bright among women. I love you now, and I would love you in any shape you took.”
Katalina would have blushed if she had flesh, but instead elected to cuddle closer to Etapalli.
The two paused for a moment and watched as an avian shadow, presumably Ki’ik, soared in front of the moon.
“He has the right idea. A night like this is too beautiful to be spent on the ground.”
“What do You—“ Before Katalina could finished, Etapalli had spread her gorgeous black wings and, pressing her girlfriend close to her body, took off into the sky.
Etapalli, to her credit, was an extremely skilled flier even with years of her skill being repressed and restricted. Every shining feather seemed to manipulate the wind in a thousand different ways as the two elegantly “danced” in the sky.
“Sorry, I’m a bit rusty.” Etapalli said with a shy smile.
“If this is what you call rusty, then what do you call adjusted?” Katalina asked, the wind whipping at her hair and pulling it out of the updo that Mireya had spent an hour perfecting. Etapalli laughed and spun with Katalina in the air, and in that moment Katalina truly felt like she could dance among the stars.
After a few minutes, the two of them landed safely on the ground not far from where they had started in a tight embrace.
“Lina?”
“Mhm?”
“Thank you.”
“Of course, mi princesa.”

Chapter 29

Summary:

Time goes on, some things grow and some things fade.

Notes:

TW: Explosives, Implied Sexual Content

Chapter Text

Time goes on, some things grow and some things fade, but the love of Katalina Sanchez and Etapalli only seemed to grow stronger by the day.
-
“I think I’ve figured it out.” Etapalli said one day, perched on the fence of Chuy’s pen while watching Katalina harvest the vegetable patch she cared for so much.
“Figured out what?” Katalina asked, pulling at an onion.
“How to help people instead of hurting them. I mean, there’s still some people I want to hurt, some people who need to be hurt, but what’s the use of hurting them if I can’t help those that they hurt?”
“What’s your plan?”
“When I go to the human realm to hunt, if I find living victims I’ll take them to safety, get them somewhere where they can start over. Give them the blessings they need to succeed. If they’re dead, I’ll help them down here. Set up services for them and stuff, all free of charge. What is money to the Gods, anyway?”
Katalina nodded as she put a few onions into the woven basket at her side.
“It sounds good so far. Go on?”
“Mamá says the plaza near the castle where we met is virtually empty, most buildings abandoned. We could fix them up and make it a community for the souls of those who lost their lives to abuse and violence. A safe place for people like me. That is… if my lovely girlfriend would be willing to help me get started.” Etapalli looked at Katalina with pleading eyes, earning a smile from the human. Katalina stood and went to her, planting a chase kiss on her lips.
“I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, mi Guerrera. I’ll help you with whatever you need. It could be fun.”
“Maybe they won’t see me as a monster anymore.”
“Not that you were ever one to begin with. ¿Quieres una zanahoria?” Katalina picked up one of the orange vegetables in question from her basket, freshly pulled from the ground with a few specks of dirt on it. Etapalli nodded and took the carrot from her, sweetness flowing into her mouth from the root when she bit into it.
“Are you sure you’re not a goddess yourself? The goddess of fresh vegetables or something?”
“Maybe.” Katalina chuckled.
-
Getting the permits to everything was only marginally easier for Etapalli due to her status as a Goddess, but there was still a lot of red tape involved. It was because of this that Katalina helped where she could. She wasn’t exactly the best with paperwork, but despite her introversion she was incredibly good at putting on a show as a people person.
“Please, I ask you, please put me in touch with your best human therapists in the land of the dead and you will not regret it.”
The God of Counseling looked at Katalina from his desk.
“This is for La Carroñera, Yes?”
“…Yes.” Katalina felt like she knew what his answer would be, and it wasn’t one she liked. The God instead smiled.
“Oh absolutely wonderful. I’m glad she’s taking my suggestions to do something constructive with her anger. She’s one of my favorite patients, you know. I’ll write up a list tonight and have it sent to her through Vulture Mail, if that’s still her preferred method of communication.”
“Oh. That’s great! I uh… I didn’t know that she was seeing you.”
“Unfortunately she was waitlisted for a long time, you know how busy us Gods can be. Plus with the amount of trauma in this pantheon It would take a miracle to be able to see everyone. However she got moved to the front by higher powers after her little outburst about two and a half years ago. I had to make house calls to the land of the forgotten.”
“Well, you seem to have done your job well.”
“And so have you, Señorita Sanchez. I’ve heard a lot about you as well, all good things. However, you seem to have a decent amount of trauma as well. I could put you on my waitlist if you’d like.”
Katalina thought for a moment. It had been years since she thought about any of her trauma, from her romances to war to her death. It was like something had taken up a bigger space in her mind and pushed all her grief to the side, or possibly someone.
“I may take you up on that one day, but for right now… I think I’m doing okay. The future looks bright.”
The God of Counseling smiled.
“Then I wish you the best of luck, my dear. Tell your girlfriend that she’ll have a list of souls that can help within 24 hours.”
“I will. Thank you for all your help, señor.”
-
“Now this reminds me of old times.” Katalina said, painting the walls of one of the apartments in the plaza area.
“It does. At least we wore proper painting clothes this time.” Etapalli grinned mischievously.
“Oh yes,” Katalina put her paint roller back in the tray and went to her girlfriend.
“It wouldn’t be a shame if we were to get paint all over our clothes, now would it?” She trailed her fingers along the edge of Etapalli’s wing, and the Goddess’s face turned crimson.
“I-It would, huh?”
Before they could get any further, there was a crash from across the hall.
“¡Maldito imbécil, Hasen! ¡Acabo de terminar de pintar esta maldita pared, todavía está mojada!” Nakawé shouted. Etapalli and Katalina sighed.
“We’d better go make sure they don’t rip each other apart.” Katalina said.
“Y-Yeah. Totally.”
-
Old buildings can be full of surprises, and the building across the street that Alazne and her friends were working on cleaning up that day were no exception as Nenetl proudly presented her spoils of war.
“Can you BELIEVE someone just left this here? It’s like, asking for trouble.” The Nagual said, her tail twitching excitedly.
“A weird machine and a bundle of fireworks?” Eva questioned, looking at the box in Nenetl’s hands.
“What do we do with those?”
“It’s not just ANY weird machine.” Said Ariché.
“It’s a microwave. In the human world, we use these to heat up cold food.”
“We have them down here too, but you know technology is always a little slow to reach here.” Katalina said.
“Even slower for Gods. atrapado en las viejas formas, as it were.”
“I can make fire with my mind! Why would I need a metal box to do it?” Etapalli retorted
“We don’t, and the combination of these two… well… I have a fun idea.” Calisto said with a wicked smile.
“Tanok here can manipulate electricity, so let’s go out to the desert and have some fun.”
-
“You idiots are going to get us all killed.” Nakawé said, hiding behind a rock.
“Seconded! Tanok, dude, you’re usually so chill! You don’t have to do this!” Seti said, hiding alongside the mermaid.
“It could be fun.” The Tzitzimitl in question said calmly.
“Blow it up! Blow it up!” Hasen shouted from the top of the rock, flapping their wings up and down.
“T-Tanok, c-can you g-give m-me en-enough electri-tricity for ab-about five minutes? Not th-that we’re g-going to need i-it that long. J-Just m-make an en-energy b-ball and put it b-by the cord.” Alazne instructed. Tanok nodded and formed a small yellow ball in their hands, which they placed close to the end of the power cord. The microwave beeped to life. Etapalli put the bundle of fireworks in and set the timer for five minutes, turning it on. Anyone who wasn’t at a safe distance (which was really just the three who had been setting it up) quickly teleported to where their friends were waiting.
At first, nothing happened, but then the inside of the microwave started to light up. Sparks started flying from the microwave door, which swung open. Then all at once, there was a small, bright explosion that shook the ground. Katalina subconsciously shoved Etapalli behind her as if it was a land mine. However, nothing so serious, as soon the explosion cleared and only a small crater was left in the desert where the microwave and fireworks had been.
Everything was silent for a moment, and then there was a snort, and then a laugh which turned quickly into a series of giggles. It was coming, surprisingly, from Nakawé. The tension released, and soon the entire group was laughing.
“Again! Again!” Axochitl shouted. Katalina was picked up and spun around by Etapalli, and she laughed harder than she had in years.
-
“How’d you get your hands on a copy of this?” Katalina asked, turning the tape over in her hands.
“One of my vultures actually brought it to me. Saw someone throw it out. I checked it, it’s pretty much new. Humans just love throwing stuff out for no reason.” Etapalli said, perched on her bed.
“I even managed to score something to play it on at a junk shop downtown. I set it up in one of the guest rooms with help from Ariché a few days ago so we can have the whole place to ourselves.”
“You’re amazing. I’ve wanted to see this ever since I saw the poster for it in San Ángel while visiting my brother last Dia De Los Muertos.”
“So it’s a date?…A perfect one year anniversary?” Etapalli asked with a blush.
“It’s a date.” Katalina said.
-
It was the perfect date, the lights low and the tape rolling, and two lovers cuddled together on a guest bed.
“Oh Gods, she better not eat that peach.” Katalina said.
“Too late, she’s already eating it.” Etapalli said, her fingers tightening around Katalina’s hand. The human turned to look at her.
“Hey, we don’t have to watch this if…”
“No. No it should be fine. They said it’s safe for kids, so they wouldn’t put anything super bad in there.”
“Alright. You know that we can stop any time you want, right?”
“Yeah, yeah I do.” The Goddess snuggled closer to Katalina, wrapping a wing around her.
“This scene feels oddly familiar.” Katalina said with a smile, watching the ballroom on the screen.
“It does, doesn’t it?”
The sound of a synth flowed from the tv speaker, and Katalina found herself tapping her fingers along to the rhythm. Etapalli looked at her and smiled.
“Shall we dance?” She asked.
“What about the movie?”
“We can always rewind it later.”
Katalina smiled and took Etapalli’s hand, allowing the Goddess to pull her up from the bed and into a slow dance.

’There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes a kind of pale jewel
Open and closed
Within your eyes
I'll place the sky
Within your eyes’

Katalina looked up at Etapalli, her eyes soft and full of love.

’There's such a fooled heart
Beatin' so fast
In search of new dreams
A love that will last
Within your heart
I'll place the moon
Within your heart

As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill is gone
Wasn't too much fun at all
But I'll be there for you-ou-ou’

Etapalli spun Katalina on that note, their hands rejoining at the next words.

’As the world falls down
Falling
As the world falls down
Falling
Falling in love’

“This reminds me of another time about a year ago.” Katalina said with a smile.
“It does. However, somehow this feels… Lighter. No expectations or other Gods or anything. It’s just you and me. All those idiotas mocking us, they’re on the other side of the screen.”

’I'll paint you mornings of gold
I'll spin you Valentine evenings though we're strangers 'til now
We're choosing the path
Between the stars
I'll leave my love
Between the stars

As the pain sweeps through
Makes no sense for you
Every thrill is gone
Wasn't too much fun at all’

The two women dancing in the room stopped, staring into each others eyes as the room was somehow simultaneously full of tension and free of it.

’But I'll be there for you-ou-ou
As the world falls down’

Their lips joined, not in the normally chaste sense that they usually did. This time it was more passionate, desperate. The music was barely a priority anymore, and if they’d been paying attention they’d have seen the ball scene on the tv was becoming distorted and nightmarish and they were missing important plot. However, they could always rewind it later. Etapalli’s fingers ran through Katalina’s hair, lightly tugging on it and cupping the back of her skull.
“You want to do This?” Katalina asked, making sure her partner was okay with where she could only assume this was leading.
“Mhm…” Etapalli answered before going back in for another kiss.
The movie could wait. This part of the castle was relatively unoccupied, an unopened package of sugar tablets was in Katalina’s satchel on the floor by the bed, and the movie could wait.
-
“Was it everything you wanted?” Katalina asked later into the silence and darkness of the night, cuddled against the warm body of her lover, not a woman whose name and face would be lost among the sea of many.
“And more. We have to do that again sometime.” Etapalli said with a giggle, her arms tightening around Katalina.
“If my lady wills it, we’ll do it as many times as you want.” She kissed her.
“My only regret is that I don’t have my old body, no real, warm skin or anything. I’m sorry I can’t give that to you.”
“Hey. remember, mi querida? I would love you in any shape you took.”
“Por supuesto.” Katalina snuggled closer to her.
“The feeling is mutual.”
“Te amo, mi vida.”
The words sent a tingling feeling through Katalina’s chest, even in their post-coital bliss and a year of being lovers.
Love is a funny thing, expressed in many ways in many languages. In English, “I love you” was casual, all encompassing. That was what had been used up until now.
In Spanish, there was more than one. Te Quiero was used mostly, mostly for family, friends, and significant others. It was as casual as an English “I love you.”
Te Amo was more intimate. It wasn’t something you gave away on a whim. Those words, were only literally translated as “I love you”. Under the surface, it meant devotion. It meant safety. To Katalina, it meant security.
“…Te amo.”

Chapter 30

Summary:

Time goes on and questions are asked

Notes:

TW: Alcohol Mention

Chapter Text

Many sunrises and sunsets passed, months turned into years. There were small quarrels, but nothing worse. Other friendships turned into relationships, marriages occurred, and time went on.
-
“PRIMOOOOO!” Etapalli tackled Cuetlachtli in a tight hug.
“Ayyyy! I’m so happy for you guys!”
“Congratulations, you two. Love the dress, Ariché.” Katalina followed up with.
“Gracias.” The Tlalhuelpuchi blushed, fiddling with the fabric of her wedding dress.
“It kinda took forever to figure out which one was the right one.”
“It looks amazing. You both look amazing. This party is great too, and you know how I feel about parties. Plus, it’s been like seven years and I’ve never been able to bring mi querida to the land of the unknown before.” Etapalli put an arm around her lover.
“I do have to ask… When I went to the land of the forgotten, I started to turn to ashes pretty quickly. Why haven’t I changed here?”
“Anyone can be forgotten, but not a lot of people are unknown, no names or memories. You’ll be safe here.” Cuetlachtli explained.
“No time limits or anything. Just enjoy yourselves.”
“I will say it is a relief to get away from work. You wouldn’t believe how much I have to do on a regular basis.” Etapalli said with an awkward smile.
“I joke that she’s dating her work instead of me.” Katalina said.
“Ay, mi linda, you know that you’re my first priority.” The goddess pouted.
“I know how you feel, Sanchez. My husband here brings his work to bed with him. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but I’d also love to not wake up with some sort of canine like a wolf or a hellhound drooling onto my face every morning.” Ariché said, giving a pointed look to Cuetlachtli, who laughed nervously.
“We all have our bad habits… like you forgetting to wash your face after a feeding night and getting blood all over the pillowcase.”
“It’s just something you learn to live with. Etapalli’s pushed me out of bed with her wing before.”
“That was ONE time.” Etapalli looked desperate.
“Anyway, much congratulations to you. May your union be blessed by all the Gods.” Katalina curtseyed.
“What she said.” Etapalli curtseyed as well before the two excused themselves.
“You don’t see me telling them about your morning breath. That stuff is horrendous, a war crime.” She said to Katalina, who chuckled.
“You wanna know why I got us away from there so quickly?”
“Why?”
“Look.” Katalina gestured across the room.
On the other side of the room, Alazne was talking with a young man around Etapalli’s age and looked to be thoroughly enjoying herself, and the feeling appeared to be mutual.
He was a handsome young man with golden-brown skin and dark blue hair, gill-like ears peeking from behind the navy colored locks and fin-like bumps on his forearms revealed some sort of aquatic heritage.
“Awwwww, look at them.” Etapalli cooed, clasping Katalina’s hand.
“What do You think? A wager, my dear?” The Goddess asked her lover, sounding uncannily like her father. The human chuckled.
“Why a wager when we both know how this is going to turn out?”
“You’re right. Should we go embarrass my sister instead?”
“You can. I’ve felt her stardust before, and I don’t wish to feel it again. I will watch.”
“Of course.”
The two of them made their way over to the pair, and Etapalli teleported ahead, throwing her arm around Alazne.
“Ala! Who’s your new friend?”
Alazne turned bright red.
“U-Uh, Et-Etapalli, this is M-Mateo. Mateo, th-this i-is my sis-sister, Eta-Etapalli.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, senhorita.” Mateo said, giving a little bow.
“No way! ¿Es brasileño?”
“H-He is.”
“I am.”
“We don’t tend to meet many of you guys where we’re from. That’s pretty cool. You’re not dead either, so I’m guessing you’re a student here?”
“A graduate student of the magical arts, yes. The school here is one of the best.”
“Ah, un brujo, ey Ala?” Etapalli teased, prompting her sister to elbow her in the ribs. Katalina laughed and went in to rescue her.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Mateo. I’m Katalina, and my girlfriend and I have business to attend to, right Palli?”
“Yeah, totally, we’ll leave you guys alone. Just behave yourselves.” Katalina dragged Etapalli away.
“And this is why I keep you from the pulque bar, cabróna.” She said, rolling her eyes.
“As if you didn’t have a little too.”
“At least I’m not a lightweight.”
“You’re so mean to me.”
“You love it.”
“…Maybe…”
-
“Mi amor?” Etapalli asked a few days later as Katalina put new strings on her guitar.
“Mhm?”
“Have you ever thought about getting married?”
The string Katalina had been tightening fell off.
“I mean… I have. But…”
“But what?”
“There’s not really much I can give you. I’m a human, and a dead one at that, you’re a goddess. I can’t even give you children, even if they were demigods.”
“We don’t need to have kids to be married.”
“But I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think anything would make me happier than having kids with you. I just… I don’t know.” Katalina looked at the ground. Etapalli reached out and took her hand.
“Hey, it’s okay. I was just asking because… well Cuetlachtli and Ariché’s wedding, and because we’ve been together for about seven years now. I thought… maybe it would be time to discuss it.”
Katalina looked up with a smile.
“It does sound Nice… but you’ve been so busy with your work now that you’re a free Goddess, I wouldn’t want to put more on your plate.”
“I understand. When things calm down more, then we talk?”
“Of course.”
Katalina leaned in for a kiss, but suddenly a golden glow ran through her bones, causing her to shudder and collapse on the floor.
“Lina?!” Etapalli cried. She reached out for her human lover as the glow faded away and helped her up.
“I-I… I don’t feel so well. I think I’m going to head home.” Katalina said groggily.
“What? No, wait, what was that?”
“I’m sure it’s just a cold or something.”
“I can fly you home.”
“No, no. I’ve overstayed your lunch break anyway. Don’t worry about me. Get some work done.”
“Can I come by and see you later? To see how you’re doing?”
“Of course.” Katalina gently kissed her temple before leaving, forgetting her guitar in Etapalli’s office.
-
She stumbled through the streets, her bones weary and tired. It felt like when she was alive and had been ill, like everything was loose and could fall apart at any second.
“How are you holding up there, mujer?” A familiar voice asked from an alley, sending a chill down her spine. She turned.
“It seems like you’re not doing so well.” The char had never really left Tristán’s bones even years after Etapalli’s attack. One of his femurs had been replaced with a rusty crowbar as well after being shattered to pieces by the goddess, never to be fixed.
“What do You want?” Katalina growled.
“I just came to see how you’re doing, seeing as your time here is limited.”
“What did you do?”
I didn’t directly do anything. I simply outsourced the job. Give Lord Xibalba my regards when he welcomes you to his realm.”
And then, in an instant, he was gone. Katalina, metaphorical heart pounding in her chest, used her remaining strength to run home. She had to see if her family was alright.
-
Katalina burst in through the back door, trying to catch breath she thought she didn’t need, and fell to her knees on the floor.
“Lina?! You’re home so early!” Her Papá Luis exclaimed.
“Are you Alright?” Manolo asked concernedly.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Suddenly, there was a knock on the front door. María answered it, and her hand flew to her mouth.
“Mija?!”
Manolo helped Katalina up and to the door, where members of the family were quickly starting to flood to.
Standing in the doorway was a middle aged woman with white bones, showing she was freshly dead. Her hair was tied back in box braids that had been made into one large braid that fell over her shoulder and she wore a white and yellow dress.
“Hola, Mamí.” Carlotta Sanchez said.
“I…I think we’re all in danger.”

Chapter 31

Summary:

Something foul is afoot

Chapter Text

“There was an explosion. We don’t know wether it was a faulty machine or cartel or whatever, but it happened.” Carlotta said, holding a cup of tea in her shaking hands.
“How did you get caught up in it?” María asked.
“I was visiting Félix on his lunch break. I always take him his lunch, you know that. The whole factory is gone. I don’t know if he survived.”
“If he survived, he would have ended up here. That’s what always happens, unless you die at a portal they put you as close to your family as possible.” Mireya said.
“He’s still up there.”
“It was no accident.” Said Katalina, looking out the window. She turned to Carlotta.
“What were they printing today?”
“History books, for high school and university students. I just don’t understand… I shouldn’t be there. I should be up there with him.”
“We’ll figure out what’s going on. For now, you’re safe here, Mija.” Manolo said, trying to comfort his daughter-in-law. But his words were no comfort to his flesh and blood daughter.
-
Two days later, a letter arrived in the mail bearing a name Katalina hadn’t heard in years. She tore the envelope open.
“Hola Katalina,
I don’t know if this will find you, but I arrived in the land of the dead a few days ago and was hoping we could meet up. Tómas and Rosaura are here too, have been for years. It would be nice to get back in touch.
Yours,
Julia Catalán”
As she read the last line, another shaking fit accompanied by a golden glow enveloped her and she fell to the ground, crumpling the letter in her hand. It was true after all.
She was being forgotten.
-
“Alright, thank you.” Carlotta hung up the phone and turned to Carmen and María, who were waiting anxiously nearby.
“Well?” Carmen asked.
“That was Don Juárez, Félix’s supervisor at the factory. He died of his injuries yesterday, but Félix is still alive.” Carmen and Maria sighed in relief.
“He’s… He’s in a coma. His head was injured pretty badly. They think it’s going to be a lifelong thing. Ignacio and Fernando are staying in the area while he recovers.”
“What about Catrina?” Mireya asked from the sofa, where she was pressing a cold cloth against Katalina’s forehead.
“She’s been living in New York for three years now with her family. It’s a bad time of year, she can’t drop everything and go back to Mexico right now. If only it wasn’t so close to Christmas.”
“Do You think he’ll remember anything?” Katalina asked. Carlotta’s mouth became a thin line.
“It’s… It’s hard to say.”
“What about the kids? My kids were taught about Katalina, and so were yours. My husband too. Plus she’s in the history books and she has friends in the land of the living. Surely someone up there will remember her.” Mireya argued, trying not to cry.
“We have to talk to La Muerte. She can help.” Carmen said.
“Yeah… She can help…” Katalina said, starting to fall asleep.
-
“This is serious.” La Muerte said, puzzled and concerned after Carmen had presented their problem.
“It’s like someone is targeting us.” Manolo said.
“I’m sure that’s not the case.” María said, trying to be optimistic.
“…It is…” Katalina spoke up. Everyone looked at her.
“The other day I was leaving Palli’s office and I… I ran into Tristán. He’s done something, said I would be forgotten soon. But he didn’t do it directly, we can’t physically interfere with the land of the living, after all. He said he outsourced the job… He has someone up there… They’re… Trying to erase me.
Katalina’s body was overtaken by a golden glow and a shaking fit again, and Manolo quickly caught her to hold her up.
“But how could he do that?” María asked.
“I don’t know, but he did somehow. Have any of you felt weak in the last few days at all? Ever?”
The other family members thought for a minute before shaking their heads.
“My living friends are dropping like flies and I’m being forgotten… I…. I’m being forgotten.”
-
“Tell me it isn’t true.” Katalina turned to her window at the sound of a familiar voice that sounded like she was on the verge of crying. Etapalli stood at her window, tears welling up in her green eyes.
“I…I’m afraid so, my love.” Katalina said. Etapalli broke into tears and hugged her.
“Don’t cry, querida. No llores.” The human woman gently stroked the goddess’s hair.
“But we had so many plans, a-and now I’m going to lose you.” Etapalli sobbed.
“You won’t lose me, darling. You can still visit me in the land of the forgotten.”
“B-But you won’t remember me, a-and you’ll fade away and be reincarnated, a-and then I-I’ll lose you forever because I won’t know who you became and—“
She bawled.
“Why can’t I count as remembering you? It’s not fair!”
“Your job as a God is to keep the balance. It wouldn’t be fair for a God to remember every human soul and keep them here. You know this. I can only live on in the hearts of my family.”
Etapalli wailed, burying her face in Katalina’s shoulder. The human woman, grateful for the physical contact but lost for any other way to comfort the both of them, began to sing.

’Niña, cuando yo muera
No llores sobre mi tumba
Cántame un lindo son, ¡ay, mamá!
Cántame "La sandunga"

Niña, cuando yo muera
No llores sobre mi tumba
Cántame un lindo son, ¡ay, mamá!
Cántame "La sandunga"

No me llores, no
No me llores, no
Porque si lloras yo peno
En cambio si tú me cantas

Yo siempre vivo y nunca muero
En cambio si tú me cantas
Yo siempre vivo y nunca muero’

The two laid there in silence, just holding one another with the time they had left.
“Lina?” Etapalli sniffled after a bit.
“Hm?” Katalina replied.
“I…I know a way you could stay. But I don’t want to do it without asking.”
“What is it?”
Etapalli pulled herself away from Katalina to sit up and look at her.
“I could petition the celestials and… I could make you a Goddess.”
The thought of immortality had only crossed Katalina’s mind once in all her time in the land of the remembered, as a joke with Tonalli and Xochiquen.

‘Regular humans like you becoming Gods? Unheard of.’

‘What would you even be the God of?’

Katalina thought. When she was younger, she wanted to get as high into the ranks as she could so she could make a difference. This was no different, but somehow totally different all the same. But if she was a God…
Images flashed through her head, pictures of an actual life with Etapalli. She saw them dancing in the sky without the risk of falling she had once had, a beautiful wedding full of flowers, the two of them holding their firstborn child. Katalina had pushed aside all dreams of that once, claimed she couldn’t afford to be domestic in a time of war because she had a duty to the people. When she died, the thought of those things vanished forever, but now… She only had a duty to herself and her lover. There was no war, no oppression, no nothing. At least nothing she could control. She was at peace, and now she could live in peace. How ironic, she thought, that peace and domesticity were brought to her by a warrior.
“You don’t need to feel pressured, Lina. I’m just asking. You can say no. I’m sorry, it was a stupid idea—“ Katalina shut Etapalli up with a kiss.
“You may make me a Goddess on one condition.”
“Anything, you name it.”
“Can you open the top drawer of my dresser for me and take out the wooden box in there?”
Etapalli nodded and went to the dresser and opened the top drawer, which was an undergarment drawer, and pulled out a wooden box. She went back to Katalina and sat next to her, offering her the box.
“Now open it.” The human woman said. The goddess opened the small box and inside found a simple rose-gold ring with a moonstone in the center surrounded by tiny white diamonds. She gasped and clapped her free hand over her mouth, looking up at Katalina, who was smiling.
“If you make me a Goddess, will you at least make me your Goddess?”
“Sí! Sí!” Etapalli sobbed and hugged Katalina tightly. The human laughed.
“Calmá, mi amor! You’ll drop the ring and lose it!”
Etapalli put the ring on her left ring finger and kissed Katalina, still crying.
“B-But I didn’t get you one.”
“I’m having another one made for me, a matching one. I just wanted to wait to make sure you accepted before I ordered it. I thought that if I’m going to leave this realm soon, we might as well tie the knot before that.”
“You won’t be forgotten, mi amor. I promise. The celestials will grant my request.”
-
“What do you MEAN NO???” Etapalli shouted.
“The court of the Celestials has carefully considered your request, but we must decline.” The clouds said in the voice of many as a voice of one.
“Your Holiness, Katalina may just be a human, but she’s an exceptional human. She’s brought nothing but joy to everyone who’s gotten to know her, and she would be a responsible and trustworthy God. She has done nothing but put others needs before her own for most of her existence, can you not grant her one selfish request?”
“No.”
“Why? What has she ever done to you?”
No answer.
“Give me one reason why she couldn’t become a God, why you can’t do this for us.
“We have done much for you, La Carroñera. We refrained from having you executed or banished in your rage, and we brought you Justice for your defilement. We didn’t have to listen to your mother and father’s pleas to spare you, we could have wiped them out simply for asking. We could have kept you in the land of the forgotten for centuries, but we let you out at the start of your eighteenth year cycle as promised at your first sentencing. Don’t be ungrateful, little Goddess. Know where you stand. You are not ready, we will not interfere.”
-
Etapalli stormed through the hallway.
“I tried to warn you, kid. They’re not going to listen.” The Candlemaker tried to comfort her as he followed behind her.
“If it makes you feel any better, I vouched for you. I’m in your corner here, but I can’t do anything if I haven’t been given the OK.”
Etapalli sighed, stopped walking, and turned around to face him.
“I know. And I’m grateful for your support, señor. You’ve been nothing but kind to me for all these years, even when I didn’t deserve it.”
Candlemaker fiddled with his hands.
“I shouldn’t tell you this, but… You might be able to find something in the library of the blessed. It’s even more extensive than La Noche’s magic library in the land of the Unknown. Every record known to the universe is in there in every language ever spoken, you’re sure to find something that will help.”
The young Goddess smiled.
“I’ll check it out. Gracias, señor.” She teleported away in a flurry of black feathers, leaving too soon to see the elder God follow behind her teleporting in a spray of wax.
-
Etapalli searched shelf 4,269 with no luck, the same luck she had with the other 4,268 shelves she had searched beforehand. Her eyes were beginning to throb and burn, and she was desperate.
“Oh COME ON!” She exclaimed, slamming a book shut and shoving it roughly back in its place on the shelf.
“There has to be something in this place!”
Etapalli sat down with her hands covering her face, and heard the sound of a paper drop. She must have ripped one of the books on accident. She sighed and uncovered her eyes and saw a piece of paper a few feet away from her, very old by the looks of it. She looked around and saw nobody, and then reached for the paper. As her eyes skimmed the old Nahuatl on the paper, she felt her heart skip a beat in her chest. It was the elixir of eternal life, something that was only rumored to exist but nobody knew the ingredients for… and in her hand was a list of the ingredients. This was it, Katalina’s way out.
“Yes! Yesyesyesyes YES!” She cheered to herself, jumping up and doing a little dance in place before laughing and teleporting away.
When she was gone, Itzal made himself visible, stepping out from behind a nearby shelf and taking the cloaking spell off himself.
“I don’t care what it costs me. I will make you happy again, mi hermana.” He said to the silence before going back to his work.

Chapter 32

Summary:

Yaotl…Cihuatl…

Notes:

TW: Character Death, Body Horror

Chapter Text

The world around her was dark and full of fire. Katalina appeared to be in some sort of pyramid temple, an invisible spectator to something horrible. She was in the center of the room, which was cleared of anyone else except for one towering figure: a monstrous warrior with a skull-like face whose body was covered in ornamental skulls and ancient armor. He glowered down at her with glowing red eyes, and Katalina knew only one person this could be:
Lord Mictlan.
“You are either very brave or very stupid to rise against me, woman.” He said, apparently to Katalina but somehow his eyes didn’t seem focused on her.
“You know full well what happens to those who rise against me… Coatlicue.”
Katalina looked behind her and found a tall goddess kneeling in chains, anger etched across her face.
Her skin was a similar tone to what Katalina’s had been long ago, something she’d never shown Etapalli, but was covered in ornamental paint.
The top half of her face was painted bright green with white dots down the bridge of her aquiline nose and around her eyes—black like Katalina’s. There was a white and pink flower painted in the middle of her forehead, two upside-down yellow triangles on her cheeks, and a red block of paint on her chin that ended just below her mouth.
Her black hair was tied in an ancient manner, being twisted up to the front of her head in the shape of two horns. She wore large golden earrings, a large turquoise septum ring, and her wrists were decorated with armlets covered with rattling seeds. Wrapped loosely around her neck and shoulders were two living snakes, and a large necklace with a gemstone heart, hands, and skulls was visible from underneath them as it rested against her chest.
She was dressed in a triangular shawl that Katalina remembered was called a quechquemitl and a long skirt, both in bright colors and decorated with intricate embroidery.
“I do.” Coatlicue said coldly, golden blood dripping from her mouth.
“But someone has to put you in your place.”
“You dare to defy me?!” Lord Mictlan shouted at the goddess. The spectating Gods, far behind her, backed away even further out of fear.
“And you dare to murder my son and daughter?!” She shouted back at him.
“You murdered my children in cold blood and took my son’s place as the God of war, you’ve left the sun and the moon unattended in the heavens and upset the balance of the world for who knows how long. You are a tyrant and a bully, and you must be stopped.”
Coatlicue broke her chains and lunged for Mictlan, clawed hands reaching for his chest and—
Coatlicue stood still, one of Mictlan’s black, jagged claws in her chest holding her still. Golden blood spilled from the wound.
“Your children were a necessary sacrifice, my dear. As a celestial, you’d know all about sacrifices, keeping the balance. Unfortunately, this is where we draw the line.” He plucked her golden heart from her chest, and Coatlicue fell to her knees.
“This isn’t over… I will return one day, in the form of a young warrior, and I will destroy your legacy once and for all.” She whispered as her body dissolved into a puddle of golden blood, and Coatlicue was gone.
There was silence, and Mictlan glared at the other gods to put them back into place. Then, he devoured the golden heart that he held in his hand.
At once, a horrific transformation took over him, and he cried either in triumph or pain as a golden glow took over his body. When the glow was gone, his skull-like face had been split into two halves. To Katalina’s horror, she realized each side was a head of its own, and they could move either as one or independently.
There was a sound like a heart beating, and the environment around Katalina began to grow dark.
’Yaotl… Cihuatl….’
Coatlicue’s disembodied voice sounded in a loud whisper as the beating of the heart grew louder… louder… louder….

-
A Turkey vulture pecked at Katalina’s window with a letter attached to her leg, waking the young woman up suddenly. Katalina rose from her bed with a groan and opened the window, allowing the bird to hop inside and offer her leg to her.
“Gracias, Soledad.” She greeted the bird as she untied the letter, and then offered her a piece of meat she kept for such occasions. Soledad swallowed it whole, and Katalina opened up the letter.

”My beloved Lina,
My audience with the celestials didn’t go as planned, unfortunately. But I have a plan B:
I’m going to travel the realms to find the ingredients for the elixir of life.
I already have two: A piece of Cloud from the Land of the Blessed, and a sacred flower from the Land of the Remembered (it’s my mamá’s marigolds, which are everywhere).
I have eight more to find, and as such I will be gone for a few days. By the time you read this, I have left the land of the remembered with the dogs and left Alazne and Tonalli in charge of my work.
You may be disappointed or angry, but remember that once you crossed the realms for me. I am only returning the favor. I’ll be back in your arms soon.
Love,
Etapalli

P.S: I have to get some stuff from the land of the living, so send a letter back to me through Soledad if there is anything you want. I’ll make it happen.”

Katalina smiled and put the letter on her dresser. She grabbed a piece of paper from a notepad she kept in her room and began to write.

”Come back to me safely, that’s all I ask… Also, once when I was a kid, my tio had to go to America for some military event. He had to go to New York or somewhere in there, and he brought us back a jug of boiled sap turned syrup from the trees up there. I haven’t had it in years. If you can find something made with that, I’d be happy.
Love,
Lina.”

Katalina attached the letter to Soledad’s leg and gently kissed the bird on the top of her bald head. Soledad nibbled at Katalina’s chin affectionately before flying away, carrying the message with her. Katalina looked out the window trying to reflect back on the dream she’d just had, but it all seemed to blur and melt away in her mind now.
’It must be my mind going now too.’ she thought to herself as she returned to her bed, those final words still echoing in her mind.

’Yaotl… Cihuatl…’

Chapter 33

Summary:

“I love you in whatever shape you take.”

Notes:

TW: Injury, Self Harm

Chapter Text

A few days passed, and Katalina’s glowing seizures became more frequent. Etapalli didn’t send any more messages, and seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth completely. Then, after four days, a large California Condor landed on the windowsill with a small leather backpack on. Katalina couldn’t help but laugh when she saw the bird, and helped him by taking the backpack off. He ruffled his feathers in relief as she opened the bag. At the very top was a letter.

’Lina,
I will be home soon. Just hold on a little longer, Bueno? I’ve sent Marco here with the ingredients I’ve gathered, as well as a copy of the recipe so you can start to brew it yourself. The remaining ingredients are the last ones I’m hunting down right now. I omitted them from the recipe, because you won’t need them.
I got some maple candy for you, because the syrup was pretty expensive. I hope you like them. I’ll see you soon.
Love,
Palli.’

Katalina carefully placed the bag on her bed and began to unpack the vials and jars that were inside. There was a jar that appeared to contain clouds, a jar of dried marigolds, a jar of ashes, a vial of swirling, sparkly water, a vial of fire that was hot to the touch, a vial of candle wax, a jar of some sort of reddish-brown liquid, and a bag of maple candies in the shape of leaves. Tucked carefully underneath all of them was a piece of paper with the ingredients and instructions written down.
-A Piece of cloud from the land of the Blessed
-Sacred Flowers of the Remembered
-Ashes of the Forgotten
-Waters of the Unknown
-Fire of the Cursed
-Soul Wax
-Xocoatl brewed in the land of the living

The last two had been omitted, torn off last minute. All she could do was trust that Etapalli knew what she was doing.
“Alright. Let’s get to work” She said, rolling up her sleeves.
-
Katalina had decided after a number of intrusions to take her work to the castle. If she did that, it would be one last place for her lover to stop before returning home after her journey.
“M-My b-brothers and m-mamá a-are here if you n-need any-anything.” Alazne told Katalina as she helped her get set up in hers and Etapalli’s shared room.
“Gracias, Alazne. But what about you?”
“I-I have a d-date.” The Goddess blushed.
“With that Brazilian guy? Good for you! Have fun!”
“I-I will. Th-Thank you, hermana.” Alazne kissed the top of her head before teleporting away in a flurry of stardust, allowing Katalina to officially get to work.
-
The broth bubbled in the small pot that Katalina was continuously stirring. It was thick and muddy, and looked fairly unappetizing. Whoever had developed the secret to immortality couldn’t at least have made it look better? Katalina popped a maple candy in her mouth and discarded the wrapper. It had been a good call on Etapalli’s part, they were sweet and rich and melted in her mouth. She couldn’t wait to taste them when she was alive.
Suddenly, the door to the room opened, and three familiar dogs ran in and made a beeline for Katalina.
“Mis Ángelitos!” Katalina squealed as she greeted the canines, all of them licking her and wagging their tails.
“Calmá, Calmá Perritos! You’re going to lick her to death if you’re not careful.” Etapalli chuckled from the doorway.
The dogs obeyed their mistress and backed off.
“Ahora ve a buscar tu cena, vamo vamo.” The dogs immediately took off to where they knew their dinner was waiting, allowing Katalina to actually look at her lover as the goddess closed the door behind her.
Etapalli looked tired, as tired as she had been in the early years of their friendship. She had put on a little more weight since the start of their official romance, but the look on her face and in her body was as tired and resigned as it had been all those years ago. Katalina’s face fell.
“Mi amor? Are you alright?” She asked. Etapalli smiled a little and went to her, kneeling down beside her.
“I’m alright. Just a little tired, I haven’t slept in days. But seeing you, it gives me what I need to go on.” She kissed her.
“I missed you, mi vida.”
“I missed you too.” Katalina said, hugging her.
“I followed the instructions, just like you told me to.” Etapalli separated from her lover and looked at the cauldron.
“It looks like it’s supposed to, you did a good job.” She said with a smile.
“Do You mind if I steal one of your candies before we finish this?”
“Of course not.” Katalina handed her the bag, allowing the Goddess to unwrap one and pop it into her mouth. Etapalli savored the candy as she sat close to Katalina.
“Did you find what you were looking for?”
“Yes.”
“Where is it?”
“Can I finish this first?”
“Of course.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Etapalli gently pushed some of Katalina’s hair out of her face behind where her ear would be and looked down at her.
“Lina,”
“Yes?”
“My Lina.”
Katalina chuckled.
“What is it, my love?”
“I just wanted to let you know… I love you in whatever shape you take.”
“I know.”
“And I know you’re going to be an amazing Goddess.”
“You think so?”
“I know.” Etapalli stroked her cheek.
“And Lina…”
“Yes?”
“I just want to say Thank You, because whatever happens next, you have been the light of my life for seven years, and you’ll continue to be that forever. Thank you for saving me, mi soldado, for sacrificing so much. Now, I’m going to do the same for you.”
Katalina’s face started to fall.
’What is she talking about?’
“Palli?”
“Te Amo, Katalina Rafaela Posada Sanchez. Te Amo Mucho.”
And before Katalina could react or make a movement, Etapalli’s hand went clean through her own chest and pulled out her own golden heart.

Chapter 34

Summary:

What is the meaning of a sacrifice of true love?

Notes:

TW: Major Character Death, Transphobia, Attempted Sexual Assault, Body Horror

Chapter Text

Etapalli flew over the human realm, her dogs running in the sky by her side and vultures following her wherever she went. In her hand she clutched her Macuahuitl, for she was on a mission. The sun beat down on her from overhead, but the wind cooled her as she glided through the sky over the desert with green eyes inspecting every inch of the hot environment.
Suddenly, her eyes found smoke. Her sources had been right. She dove closer to make sure she had the right one, and she did. She held out her Macuahuitl and descended, the dogs following and baying now that they were on the hunt. The figure by the campfire she had sought turned around, and Etapalli landed on the ground a few feet away from him with her weapon ready.
“I was wondering when you’d show up.” The man said, if you could even call him that.
He was an emaciated, burned corpse, nearly a skeleton. His red flesh had been melted onto his bones, all muscle mass and fat gone, like he had been vacuum sealed, and his brown hair was sparse and appeared to be falling out in clumps. He wore the rags of clothes that had once been noble, but were now aged and singed, and the only thing that seemed to remain of him after all this time were those piercing yellow eyes, yellow eyes that sent a shiver down Etapalli’s spine.
“Enough talk. I could have gone forever without hearing your voice again, but unfortunately fate has brought us back together… Iztzli.
Iztzli didn’t reply, only looked her up and down like a Jaguar eyeing a deer.
“You look good, muñequita. You’ve blossomed into a beautiful young woman, even if we both know that all the skirts you wear and potions you drink will never deny the fact that you’re not really a woman.”
The dogs snarled, hair raised, and vultures began to circle overhead. Flames licked the ground around Etapalli’s feet.
“No need for dramatics, my pet.”
“Call me that again and your fate will be worse than what I came to deliver.”
“And what did you come to deliver? Hm?”
“Justice.”
“Is that it? Or is it… a certain ingredient for a certain elixir of life?” Etapalli’s eyes widened.
“How did you?!”
“I have my ways. Either way, it’s highly predictable. After all, everyone knows you need the heart of a God.”
“Yes. I. Do.” Etapalli lunged and knocked Iztzli back with her Macuahuitl. It was fortunate for her that he was weakened. The dogs pounced, barking and growling, and held him in place while she stood over him.
“How the tables turn, escoria. Now say goodbye.” She plunged her hand into his chest and to her surprise, Iztzli laughed.
“You can take my heart, ninfita, but it won’t save your lover.” Etapalli froze, her eyes wide and her hand still in Iztzli’s chest. The former God smiled wickedly.
“Oh yes, I know all about your human plaything. How could I not? That mortal soul drove a hard bargain but… the murder and the memory loss spells was worth it to lure you to me once again.”
The Goddess’s blood ran cold as time seemed to come to a standstill. Before she could comprehend what was happening, Iztzli wrenched his arm away from Guicho and pulled Etapalli down roughly, kissing her with what could barely qualify as lips and tasted like rotting flesh. Etapalli cried out and pushed away from him, and Guicho tore into his arm. She pushed herself off and crawled backwards away from him, wiping off her mouth with her hand. Iztzli laughed.
“Even with my heart, what would you do? Tell me that, my little puppet. You would give the heart of a misbegotten God to someone you claim to love? Would it save her? Would you do this because you love her, or because it would bring you peace of mind? See now, Carroñera, you are as selfish and bloodthirsty as your uncle, as me. You and I are exactly the same.”
Etapalli sat there for a moment, listening to Iztzli’s cackles. She took the old piece of paper out of the pocket of her skirt and looked at the only ingredients not crossed off

’-The Heart of a God
-A Sacrifice of True Love’

She thought about the woman she’d come to know over the years, how they’d first met as children in a series of events they would barely retain as they grew, how Katalina had been the first outside her home to see the light that was still inside her and how tirelessly she’d worked to bring it out. Katalina was far from perfect, far from a pedestal. She was human, roughly shaped of clay in an imperfect and cracked form, and yet no piece of perfect China could compare to her. They were two broken hearts beating in the darkness, two broken hearts who had somehow found each other against all odds and made each others worlds brighter, fixing each other as well as themselves.
Etapalli had started on this journey to preserve Katalina, but it was dawning on her with each awful cackle that she had only been trying to preserve herself. Katalina could be saved, she could be a Goddess—the beautiful, powerful, complicated Goddess Etapalli had always seen in her—but Etapalli would not be able to join her.
Etapalli pulled herself up and went to Iztzli, glaring down at him before once again plunging her hand into his chest. His eyes went wide.
“You’re right. This isn’t for her. This is for me, and for every woman who will be saved from you.”
Then, with one swift motion, she tore his burned heart out of his chest.
Being a fallen God, Iztzli did not dissolve into a puddle of golden blood. Instead, like a fish out of water, he began to gasp and writhe in place. Etapalli whistled, and the dogs began to tear him apart while he could do nothing but scream.
“The Fire would be too merciful for you.” She said, dropping his heart onto the ground and stomping on it with a loud squelching sound.
When the vultures began to descend, Etapalli turned towards the west to watch the setting sun.
“I’m coming, Lina.”

-
Etapalli dropped her golden, pulsing heart in Katalina’s lap with an old piece of paper, and then in an instant turned to gold and melted away, leaving only a puddle of golden blood behind. Katalina sat there, feeling a mixture of shock, horror, and grief. She was unable to move, unable to speak. This had to be some horrible joke, some horrible prank they would laugh about later. She kept waiting for the punchline, but it never came. Etapalli was gone forever.
Katalina screamed.
Her wail of anguish was the kind that could shatter glass and cause the earth to shake as she held the heart of her lover to her chest, unable to form words as tears fell down her face.
“Oh dear, what a tragedy.” An unfamiliar voice said, and Katalina looked up to see a small old woman—apparently living—standing before her.
“Such a mess these affairs can be.” Another old woman, identical to the first, came out from behind her.
“They grow, they flower,” a third old woman said, appearing from the same place.
“They die.” The three of them said in unison.
“Of course it must be this way.” The third one said.
“It was the only way.” The first said.
“And still so sad.” The second lamented.
“Wh…Who?” Katalina could only manage, still in shock from the currently transpiring events.
“Ah Puch, Ah Puch, Ah Puch.” The three Women chanted with cryptic smiles. Katalina’s eyes widened.
“The leader of the celestials…” And Then, at once, her sadness turned to rage.
“Are you happy now?! Look what you’ve done! You and your kind have done nothing but mistreat and marginalize Etapalli for DECADES! And now she’s dead because of you! The love of my life is DEAD because of you!”
“Not dead. Not for long, no no.” The second Ah Puch said.
“The universe has made life difficult for you, we admit.” The third one said.
“But it was necessary. It was plan. It was design.” Said the first.
“What are You TALKING about?!”
“We try so hard to maintain balance.” The first Ah Puch lamented.
“But we are weakened. We are incomplete.” Said the second.
“We have waited so long, tried so hard to rebuild.” Said the third.
“But rebuild in a way that would bring her back to us.” The second followed up.
“Bring who back?” Katalina asked, becoming more and more agitated and angry.
“Teteoh Innan, our friend, our fallen comrade.” The Three said in unison.
“Coatlicue.”
Katalina felt a shiver run down her spine at the mention of the name, and the memory of her dream came flooding back to her.
“She brought balance and sacrifice.” Said the second.
“She brought life and death.” Said the third.
“She was a mother, selfless and true till the end. When she died, all was nearly lost.” Said the first.
“We’ve waited so long for the young warrior she spoke of. We’ve waited for her to come into her own, orchestrated all.” Said the third.
“And now you have returned.” They said in unison, looking directly at Katalina, who felt like an arrow had just hit her in the heart.
“Me?”
“The Mother of Gods has returned, the Mother of Gods shall usher in the golden age, the Mother of Gods shall take her rightful place.” They all said.
“The Goddess of Nature, the Goddess of War, Mother Earth herself. Balance as it should be.”
As much as Katalina hated to admit it, it made sense. She was equally a warrior and a nurturer, always looking out for others and fighting for the greater good even at the cost of herself. Before Etapalli, the earth was the only thing that brought her peace. It only made sense.
“B-But what about the elixir?”
“A test of heart.” Said the first Ah Puch.
“No God has ever been willing to sacrifice themselves for a human like that. Not ever.” Said the second.
“Many have sought the elixir of life, all have failed.” Said the third.
“None would dare to destroy themselves for a human, no matter how much love was in their heart.” Said the first.
“Until her.” All three of them said.
“Goddess of Vengeance, Goddess of Justice, Misbegotten Princess. The flower that bloomed in adversity became the most beautiful of them all.”
“So what was this for then?” Katalina asked.
“To bring you home, Coatlicue, Teteoh Innan.” The first Ah Puch said.
“With her sacrifice, you shall return to your place.” Said the Third.
“You have claimed your first sacrifice, and now we may make you a Goddess. A Celestial. The highest of them all.” Said the Second.
Katalina sat there and thought back on her life. As a younger woman, she would have jumped at the chance to be the highest of all. She would have jumped at the chance to eliminate all injustice with a wave of her finger and crush her enemies. How all and meaningless all that violence seemed now.
“No.” She said. The three Ah Puchs looked at her with wide eyes. Katalina pulled herself to her feet.
“I will not join you. I might have once, but I am not that girl anymore. I am no longer Coatlicue. I am no longer the Mother of the Gods. I am no longer the Lady of Certain Death. I am no longer the Singing Soldier. I am no longer a soldier, a lieutenant, a captain or a major, even a Colonel. All of those are titles given to me, but I choose now to make my own.
I am Katalina Rafaela Posada Sanchez, I am at peace, I am in love,
I am Life.
Winds seemed to swirl around the young woman.
“I will become a Goddess, and you will bring the love of my life back to me. I will not be a Celestial or a warrior or a puppet any longer. I will be at peace with Etapalli, my beautiful, treasured one, and that will be it. I will no longer live for anyone else, because now I live for me.”
The three Goddesses smiled.
“If that is what you wish, Katalina.” Said the First.
“Or should we say; La Vida.
Etapalli’s heart levitated out of Katalina’s hands and her golden blood rose into the air in individual droplets, swirling around the heart and glowing brightly until it all joined at once and became a golden, glowing figure. Etapalli glowed brightly like a star for a moment or so, and then floated gently to the ground limp and unconscious.
Before Katalina could do anything, her whole body began to burn. Her bones cracked and grew rapidly, sending sharp pains throughout her body. A beating, golden heart appeared in her chest cavity, and from it began to spring other organs, muscle and tendons, blood and veins, and eventually sweet smelling skin. It burned and stabbed, and Katalina couldn’t help but cry out in pain as she was rapidly and cruelly transformed. Then, the glow faded from her body, and the newly transformed Goddess fell to the ground unconscious.

Chapter 35

Summary:

“I am Life”

Chapter Text

“I think she’s coming to.”
“What do we do? This has never happened before, not like this.”
“I guess we just wait and see…”
Katalina opened her eyes.
“Mija?” The first person she laid eyes on was her saving grace, always the first to greet her; Her Mother.
“Mamá…” She managed weakly. She sat up, a dull ache still engulfing her body. Maria hugged her daughter.
“Oh Gods…” The older woman began to cry.
“Oh, Mamá… Don’t cry, it’s okay. It’s still me. I’m still your little girl.”
Maria reached up and cupped her face, still crying but with a smile.
“Yes, yes you are. Our brave, beautiful, wonderful little girl.”
“We’re so proud of you.” Manolo said, hugging his daughter. Katalina hugged both of her parents tightly. How strange, that once she was small enough to be completely engulfed by their arms, and now she was large enough to do the same back to them.
Flowers began to bloom in both of their hair, and Katalina pulled back in surprise. Manolo and Maria seemed to notice, and both of them chuckled.
“I’ll still have to get used to that.” Katalina said embarrassedly.
“You will, in time.” Said La Muerte, who Katalina just noticed was there.
“And y-you’ll ha-have all of us t-to help you.” Said Alazne from beside her.
Katalina smiled, and wondered for a moment why they weren’t with Etapalli until she took in the rest of the room. She was in Alazne’s bed, and nearby in her own bed was her fiancée, still asleep. Now, there was only one question left on her mind.
“Where’s Mireya?”
-
Katalina found who she was looking for just outside in the hall, anxiety and grief etched onto her skeletal features. She stood next to her.
“What were you thinking?” Mireya asked angrily.
“We could have found another way.”
Katalina sighed.
“There was never another way, Reya. Every road we’ve walked, every choice we’ve made, it all led up to this. This was always going to be where we ended up.”
Mireya’s face softened a little.
“I guess you’re right. But…” She looked up at Katalina.
“I’m scared that I’m going to lose you.”
Katalina knelt down to look at her face to face.
“Hey, remember;” She held out her pinky and latched it with Mireya’s.
“No matter what, you’ll always be my sister.”
Mireya smiled.
“And you’ll always be… A burro!” She messed up Katalina’s hair, earning a laugh from the Goddess.
“Of course.” Mireya hugged her sister, who held her tightly.
“The road ahead isn’t going to be easy.” The bullfighter said.
“It never is.” The Goddess replied.
“But remember that no matter what, we will always be here for you.”
“And I will always be here for you, all of you.”
-
Katalina, for the first time, looked at her new self in the mirror.
She was tall, taller than she had ever been in life, but carried the same proportions she’d had all those years ago. Her skin was the same color, but now carried the distinct smell of Maple Sugar, and her eyes were once again the same black eyes she had entered this life with. Along her flesh were the same soul markings she’d sported as a skeleton, now even more vibrant, with Coatlicue’s pink and white flower in the center of her forehead like a symbol of both pain and honor.
Her hair, aside from her height, was the thing that changed the most. It was, for the most part, the same chocolate brown it had always been. But now from just below the shoulders down, it turned into a beautiful vibrant green—her favorite color.
“You’ve always said if you could turn your hair green, you would.” Mireya said from behind her.
“I-It’s a-a good l-look on you.” Alazne agreed.
“I-I’m s-sure my sis-sister will like it.”
“She will if she has eyes.” Mireya said.
Katalina noticed something from under the hem of her shirt starting to peek out, and carefully lifted up the hem to look in the mirror.
There, like a cruel reminder, in the center of her stomach, was a large scar. Her death wound, the very thing that kickstarted her onto this long, beautiful, horrible journey.
“I-I’m s-sure it’s j-just to r-remind y-you where y-you came from.” Alazne said, sensing Katalina’s emotion.
“If it makes you feel any better, your girlfriend also has a pretty gnarly scar on her chest. I don’t see that going away anytime soon, so you can be scar buddies or something.” Mireya followed up, trying to ease Katalina.
“Mi n-novio a-and I can j-join you t-too, since walking in o-on the b-both of y-you apparently d-dead def-definitely gave b-both of us s-some m-mental scars.” Alazne said with a sardonic hint in her voice. Katalina laughed.
“Tu novio? Good for you. Good for you.” She looked back at Etapalli and went to her side. She sat by her and pushed some of her hair out of her face.
“Would you excuse us? I want us to be alone for a while when she wakes up. We have some things to discuss.”
“Of course.” Mireya said, and Alazne nodded in agreement. The both of them exited the room, leaving the two deities once again alone.
-

Etapalli began to stir and groaned, looking around her.
“I-I’m alive?” She questioned.
“Lina?!” She cried out, trying to sit up but unable to due to the pain in her chest.
“Don’t try to get up so quickly. You went through a lot. We both did.” Katalina said. Etapalli looked up at her, eyes wide and full of wonder and love.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Katalina asked, cutting straight to the point.
“It worked…” Etapalli breathed. Katalina sighed.
“Yes, it fucking worked. Now—“ Etapalli reached out and touched Katalina’s cheek.
“You’re so pretty…”
Katalina’s face reddened.
“I— Shut up. You nearly fucking died, pendeja!”
Etapalli looked up at her with shining eyes.
“Te amo…”
Katalina couldn’t stay angry for long, and she began to break down, tears filling her eyes. She hugged Etapalli.
“Yo también te amo, cabróna.” She sniffled.
The two laid there together, embracing as they both cried.
“I’m sorry, Lina… I’m so sorry…” Etapalli sobbed.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. We’re here. We’re together.”
“But how—“
“I’ll explain everything soon enough. I just… I just need to have you back right now.”
“Okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, mi vida.”

Chapter 36

Summary:

Somehow, peace is scarier.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“I’ve run away from home multiple times, I’ve been to war, I’ve been on dangerous journeys and fought Gods, I’ve literally died AND came back to life… So why does this somehow seem scarier?”
Katalina fiddled with the skirt of her dress.
“I know exactly how you feel.” Maria said, fixing the flowers in her hair.
“After all, it’s not every day you get married.”
“I mean, I want to do this, more than anything. But I also feel like sinking into the ground and never coming out.”
“Last minute nerves, mija. Everyone gets them.”
“I know, I know.” A few dandelions blossomed from her hands. Maria carefully plucked them off.
“Hey, look at me.” Katalina looked at her mother, who gently stroked her cheek.
“You’re going to do just fine. This is your day, you can’t do any wrong.”
Katalina smiled and hugged Maria.
“Thank you, for giving me life and getting me this far. I would never be here without your strength and love.”
Maria squeezed her daughter as tight as she could.
“Ay mija…”
There was a knock on the door.
“Manita, I hate to hurry you but it’s time!” Mireya called. Katalina separated from Maria and stood up.
“That’s our cue.”
Maria nodded and went for the door, leaving the room. Katalina could see her father, Mireya, Carlotta, and her two female friends from life waiting for her. She followed Maria’s lead out the door.
“You look beautiful, Katalina.” One of her friends, Rosaura, said.
“I love the dress.”
Katalina twirled around a little in her wedding dress. It was a similar style to La Muerte’s usual red dress, form-fitting until about her mid-thighs where it then began to splay out in a long skirt that swept the floor and was decorated with pink flowers.
“You’ll have to thank my new sister-in-law. She’s the miracle worker here.”
“Hey, no retreat…” Manolo held out his arm to his oldest daughter, who put her arm through his.
“No surrender.”
Mireya, Carlotta, Julia, and Rosaura lined up in front of Katalina, ready to go through the door as soon as it opened.
Maria took a hold of Katalina’s other arm, and like clockwork, the music started and the doors opened. Her bridesmaids lead first, and Katalina and her parents followed soon after.
The room was crowded, filled with all manner of people both dead and divine, but the only one that mattered to Katalina stood out from the crowd on the platform under a bower of hanging plants and flowers—Katalina’s own handiwork.
Etapalli looked beautiful as ever, her long black hair loose and flowing over her shoulders. She wore a white and gold gown with a cape instead of a veil, and quite honestly looked more like a Goddess of Angels instead of a Goddess of Justice or Vengeance. Her black wings were perfectly groomed with not a single feather out of place, a stark contrast from her usual unkempt feathers. It was all to say, she looked absolutely stunning, and the jagged scar peeking out from under the dress on the front of her chest served not as a disfigurement, but a physical reminder of the love between the two that felt even wider than the universe itself.
Soon the two lovers were face to face, and Manolo placed Katalina’s hand in Etapalli’s.
“Take care of her, my lady.” He whispered to the Goddess, before letting go of his daughter and taking his seat along with his wife.
“Gods, Monsters, Humans and Heroes,” The Candlemaker began.
“We are here today to witness the union of two Goddesses, two Goddesses who surpassed all expectations and upended all odds. Two Goddesses who have crossed the realms, faced certain doom, and changed fate itself just to be here today. Today we celebrate the union of La Vida and La Carroñera.”
He turned to Etapalli.
“Etapalli, La Carroñera, Princess of the Remembered and Forgotten, Champion of the Disenfranchised, Goddess of Justice and Vengeance, do you take this woman to be your wife?”
Etapalli smiled, looking at Katalina with green eyes only for her.
“I do.”
“Katalina Sanchez, La Vida, Colonel of the Mexican Army, Human turned Divine, Goddess of Nature in all its forms of both Creation and Destruction, do you take this woman to be your wife?”
Katalina only took a second to think back on all of the pain and joy of her entire life, and the golden light that shone bright and was the woman before her. She looked at Etapalli with black eyes meant only for her.
“I do.”
“Do you both have each other’s rings?”
Katalina revealed the wedding band meant for Etapalli, and her partner did the same. Katalina slipped the ring onto Etapalli’s left hand, and Etapalli did the same for her.
“In accordance with the ancient rules and the book of life, I now pronounce you… Wives. You may kiss—“ Before Candlemaker could figure out what to say for the last part, Etapalli swooped in and dipped Katalina into a loving kiss, their first as eternal partners.
There was a roaring cheer throughout the room, but the two Goddesses couldn’t care less about an audience. It was just them, Justice and Life, together forever.
-
“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t have given me your present at our wedding.” Katalina said the next day as Etapalli brought her to an unknown place with closed eyes.
“Oh, you’ll see. I’ve been preparing this for months especially for you, my love… We’re here. Abre los ojos...”
Katalina opened her eyes and found that the both of them were floating over the open ocean. Seagulls squawked and the breeze blew through Katalina’s hair, carrying the smell of salt and brine.
“It’s beautiful… But what are we doing here?”
“It’s not what’s here right now, but what will be here. Listen to the world around you, feel what is coming.”
Katalina meditated on it, closing her eyes and trying to feel what Etapalli was talking about. Then, she felt something and her eyes snapped open.
“That’s… An underwater volcano.”
“Due to erupt today. And when an underwater volcano erupts… Well, you told me once that you’d love to live on an island, one where it’s quiet.” Etapalli let go of Katalina, allowing her to hover in the air on her own.
“Why don’t you put those powers of creation and destruction to good use, my love?”
A smile spread over Katalina’s face, a feeling bubbling up inside that was all too familiar to her youth. Now she was again a painter, but the world was her canvas. She focused her strength and power and the water began to bubble and broil rapidly, lava spewing to the surface and forming rock and dirt on the water, rapidly growing and changing into the base of a good-sized island; an Island for two and maybe more.
Katalina kept the flow going until she felt it was enough, and then ceased the eruption all together. She looked down on the black rocks and soil she had made and then turned to Etapalli, her hand outstretched.
“Well, are you coming?”
Etapalli smiled and took her wife’s hand, and Katalina flew down to the island at lightning speed with Etapalli alongside her.
She flew and ran across the rocks, soil building up and grass and flowers following at an unnatural pace. The two of them danced and spun in the air, laughing as trees were erected and covered the island in a dense forest.
Earth gave away for fresh springs and ponds with a flick of Katalina’s hand, and she even commanded the very stone of the earth to rise to her aid and polish and shape itself into a string cliffside palace covered with vines that the two of them would soon make their home in. The sun smiled brightly on them as Katalina created their own space, the space and peace she had longed for but never quite found.
At the end of the day, Katalina and Etapalli stood on the yellow sand and looked over their new home, their own realm that could never be found by force, only by those who needed sanctuary and those strictly invited. Their new realm was one of justice, peace, and domesticity.
And it was just right.

Notes:

~The End~

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