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You were never his first choice. Not even his second. No you couldn’t be, because Valeria was his first, Rudy would always be his second. Somewhere along the way, you accepted that fact. Learned to look it right in the face. To him — to Alejandro — you would always be his third choice.
It sparks a weird bond between you and Rudy, knowing you’ll never be his first, that you’d both choose him in a heartbeat and yet he’d hesitate. But Rudy, god Rudy. He’d stare at you with pity filling his eyes because he knew, but he couldn’t feel bad about it. He loves Alejandro just as much as you do, and you can’t fault him for not stepping back. You’ve always known you’d never be saved by him. Or Alejandro. Or the Vaqueros. For all that you grew up in Las Almas, you were never one of them. No, it was Valeria whose first choice was you.
Valeria, who now sits in a chair held down by Graves, staring right at you. She yells and argues with Alejandro but her eyes never leave you. And yours never leave hers. Maybe it was wrong, but out of anyone else, you understood her decision the most and Valeria knew that. She saw through your so called loyalty to their country, their home, and stared right at the loyalty to Alejandro. Only she knew that the spark would die out.
Soon, you wouldn’t stand next to him anymore. But for now, you watched from the side as the rest asked their questions. As Alejandro didn’t as much as glance at Rodolfo or you. As he stormed off, angry and betrayed. You watched as your team filed out of the room, forgetting about you. The only advantage of your previous occupation. You stood from your position leaning against the wall and came to crouch in front of the woman.
She stared right back at you. Eyes flitting over your face and you could almost see Valeria committing your face to her memory. She leaned over and whispered, sarcastic even now. You whispered back, hushed voices filling the silence of the room as you talked about why. Why she would do this, why you stayed when she asked you to go, why. Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, you gripped her jaw and a fire burned behind your eyes.
“I’ll see you soon.”
Valeria held onto your hand tight, once again committing the image of you to memory. A part of her felt bad for Alejandro, for never seeing what was in front of him but really, she didn’t. Not if it meant she got you instead.