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To my lover, my best friend, and my everything,
These letters are for you. These are the words that I’m afraid to say. I’m afraid to utter these words as I fear you’ll run out of patience for me. That you'll run out of love for me. These thoughts swirl in my mind all day, clouding everything. I want to give you everything you deserve, but maybe it's not me. And so, i'm afraid that suddenly the life that we built together will crumble under the weight of these words.
So, these words will never see the light of day. These are words that will only exist in my mind and in these letters, and it’s better this way. I know it is. My darling, I love you, in the best way I can. I just don't know if it's enough.
...
To my lover, my best friend, and my everything,
I’m writing these letters because I know how much you carry the weight of yourself and the weight of the world. You think I don’t notice but I do. I notice everything, my love. And it pains me to see you go through this alone. We’ve talked about it before and well you always dodge the discussion and I get it. But, my love, isn’t that what marriage is? To love and hold each other, for better or for worse. My love, every single day I am choosing you. I am choosing you on your good days. And I am choosing you on your bad days.
I know my love won't fix anything, but that's the thing, I don't need to fix you. No one needs to fix you, you are who you are and I love you for who you are. Can you let me in? Can you let me carry some of the weight? Can you let yourself feel the love I'm giving you?