Chapter Text
She was alone. All the others had moved on long ago. She had bowed out of the race, deciding it wouldn't be fair to anyone for a girl who didn't know who she was to win over those who had such rich lives to lead. Ricky had gotten resurrected. And so she was left alone. Well, Karnak's spirit still spoke to her occasionally. Souls came and went, usually paying her no mind, or purposefully ignoring her. Which was fair, she thought she probably looked quite unsettling.
There was an oddly lively young man who sang her a song once, an old song of love. She had wished him well on his trip to find his wife. An extremely pissed-looking blonde in a red bathrobe had told her not to trust anyone whose name started with J. She had simply nodded, unsure what to say to that. A chubby girl who couldn't have been much older than her dressed in a fancy dress that was stained a deep red in drips had waved shyly as she passed by. The last was an older man who had lingered with her for a while, telling stories about his life, and how he would miss his children and grandchildren, but he had lived a full life so he didn't mind so.
She had been alone since. She didn't know how long. She wished she had some way to pass the time other than her own thoughts, maybe something a bit more comfortable to wear than a school uniform. She wished she could move on, but how could one with no soul or name get to the underworld?
Ah. What they don't tell you about eternity is how long it is. Forever is such a long time. She had been contemplating names, she had liked Savannah, but the name left a melancholy taste in her mouth. Jane fit most of the time but occasionally it felt wrong to her, like trying to put the left shoe on her right foot. Simply didn't fit. What was even the point of feet? She had nowhere to -
A loud crash and a cartoon-like splat interrupted her thoughts. Certainly, an unconventional way to enter the in-between. She stared curiously and wandered in the direction the noise came from. A large hunk of purple and yellow metal came into her view. Was that a car on its side? Did cars have spirits? They must have if that thing was there. Something was behind it too, she couldn't quite tell what it was.
The lump of fabrics sat straight up and screamed as she approached. Upon closer inspection it wasn't fabrics, it was a stout Italian man in a stained apron. The man shook like an elderly chihuahua. She backed away cautiously because he had looked as if he was going to either punch her or start sobbing violently. He probably needed space, she decided and turned back to the car.
Wandering forth, she saw the car was no longer there, instead was a very very baffled-looking metal man sitting with its legs crossed. Hm. Could have sworn there was a car there. Mayhaps it drove off? But then it had the same paint colors as the car did. Never mind the car thing, this one at least looked stable enough to talk without bursting at its seams.
"Hello. Can you speak, metal man?" It cast its purple eyes downwards at Jane and its painted lips turned to a scowl. "Oh, Primus. A human? Where am I? My helm feels like it's spinning, what the frag did you do?!" Jane straightened out her skirt and tilted her head curiously trying to get a better look at its face. "Jane Doe is what people call me, and I haven't done anything except find you here." She looked it up and down again. "I've been here quite a while and I've never seen anything like you. What are you? Do you know where the car went?" It gave the eye-roll of the century and then clutched at its head like it hurt.
"Swindle. My name is Swindle, is this the pits? Kinda fragging feels like it." Swindle chuckled a little at that like it'd said something funny and shifted so it could see Jane better. "No chance you got painkillers strong enough for a mech my size ?" "No. I didn't even know you could feel pain here." Her braids bobbed as she spoke. "You're in the between, that is what most call it anyways." "Well, what's it between then? Me and Having a decent day for once?" It laughed again.
"So what's with the cracks in your face? I know I called you human earlier but that was just a guess." Jane sighed and tapped her forehead "It's porcelain. Lost my head when I died."
"You're really dead then?"
"Have been for an eternity. And you're dead too, considering you're here." Swindle swore loudly and then muttered under his breath, "Primus gives most his torments to his prettiest creations, I swear"
Jane took a guess that that was meant to be a joke, so she laughed, maybe louder than necessary. Swindle looked offended, and made a sort of shooing gesture. She took the hint and went to go check on the other one.
As she strode closer the aroma of stale pizza and sweat hit her. The Italian was laying face down on the floor, not moving. For a moment she was concerned he might have died before she remembered where she was. He had to have died, everyone here was dead. Nonetheless, she was worried about the man. "Hello there? Are you alright sir?" He made a noise sort of like air being let out of a balloon mixed with a confused grunt. "You're gonna have to speak up?"
The man sat up with remarkable force. "I don't know! where am I? Am I dead? Are you the reaper? Oh oh. Oh no. " The man rocked in place muttering something she didn't understand. Was he praying? What an odd man. She decided it would be very very rude of her to interrupt him though and simply sat across from him a few feet away. After twenty minutes or so of that, the man seemed to have remembered she was there and sighed.
"Would you like to start over?" The man squeaked out a yes. "I am called Jane. What's your name?" "Peppino. Am I? Did I die?" "Everyone here is dead." "Even you?" "Yes. Rollercoaster accident, 09. Cost me my head" "But you've uh? Got one now?" Jane tapped on her cheek. it made a sound like fingernails on a glass window "Porcelain. Everyone is asking about my head today." Peppino winced.
"Oh uhm, sorry if it's a sore spot I didn't mean to offend I-" She cut him off, "Hey, it's alright. It is a little strange I know." He fidgeted with his apron. "Even if I was offended there's not much I could do about it. You can't hurt the dead. And you have to move on eventually, so what would be the point of a grudge?" she mused.
"So you've spent a good while mostly alone here?" "An eternity, probably. Time passes differently here."
Peppino shot her a look of sheer pity, she couldn't have been more than 17 when she died. “Do you miss it? Your life I mean?” She shook her head.
“No.”
“No?”
“I can’t remember my life. This place is all I’ve ever known,” She stared into her own knees. “Tell me about yours”
“My life? Oh, uhm. I was raised by my aunt along with my cousin Gustavo, and my childhood was alright, I shared a room with Gustavo, well, we shared everything really. I used to steal his clothes all the time, heh. That’s how I figured out I was a man. My aunt was so relieved when I told her. After that Him and I were like brothers.” Ah, he wasn't always a man then? Jane made a note to herself to ask about that later.
“ Unfortunately, since auntie made sure I was a boy in the school system and such, I got drafted as soon as I graduated, along with Gustavo.”
He seemed really reluctant to talk further about having been in the military, understandably.
“And after the war?”
“Started up a pizza place in 76. It ran well enough to get rent paid on time, but it didn't really boom. Had a really, really weird day in 91, this guy named pizza-face threatened to blow the place up so I had to beat his ass,” He hesitated for a second then continued, ” Not that it mattered cause I’m pretty sure I ended up falling asleep in the walk in a year later.”
“Oh,” she hadn't a clue how to respond to that. “I’m sorry?”
“It's uh, alright kid. Hey, wasn't there another guy earlier? Large? Purple? Built like if a jeep was a gay man?”
“Oh, whoops.” She had been so caught up talking with this anxious man she completely forgot about it. “Do you wanna go talk to Swindle then?”
“No, I've uhm, got some stuff I need to think about. You go on ahead.”
She wandered for a bit looking for Swindle, for something so big it sure was good at hiding. Briefly, she considered that it might have moved on, but she still felt its presence here. She found it eventually with one of its panels open digging through it like it was looking for something. Curious about what it was doing, she stared. It didn't seem to notice and kept digging, swearing under its breath.
“Hello?”
“Ah! Primus! Sneaky glitch ain'tcha?” It took its hand and slammed the panel shut, which made a cash register sound as it closed. “What are you back for? Get bored of talking to frozen pizza?”
“How did you know he froze?” she asked as she tilted her head a bit.
“Lucky guess. Where’d all the scrap I had in my subspace go? Did you rob me while I was out?”
“You can’t take any possessions into the afterlife”
“Frag. ” It shook lightly, “I’m not supposed to be here”
“You're dead Swindle, I’m sorry.”
“No! You ain’t listening to me!”
“You must be dead to be here. Best to accept it. ”
“Do you have sand where your processor should be, Jane? This is the human afterspark! Why the frag am I here???” Oh, it's not human, that’s right.
“Well, if you aren't human then what are you?” It sighed loudly and pinched the bridge of what she assumed to be its nose, “I’m a Cybertronian, But what are you?”
“Pardon me?”
“ Well, it's just. You don't seem human at all.”
“And what would you know of humanity, Metal man?!”
“I know enough to know what a human looks like! They aren't made of porcelain. I don’t know who told you you were human but they musta been wrong.”
“I’m just as human as anyone else here!! You’re wrong, Swindle! I’m a person!” Her braids shook and swayed violently as she spoke. Swindle rested its head in its hands as its painted lips curled into a mocking smile, “Are you really? You don’t remember being human, do you?” Jane let out a strangled-sounding noise. Peppino approached the two, having heard Jane yelling. Neither noticed him though. “A shame, You’d have proof then.”
“I am human! I'm a person! I am I am I am!! I don’t have to prove anything to you!!”
“Maybe not, but how will you prove it to yourself? Who even are you anyways? Jane Doe is just a placeholder name!” Peppino had heard enough. “Oy! Who the hell do you think you are?” Swindle whipped its head around to face him. “Oh, it's the greaseball.” “Don't you talk to that girl like that! She's done nothing to you!”
“What are you gonna do about it? Cry? In case you hadn't noticed, we are both fragging stuck here, and it's her fault!”
“Her fault? Grow up! You died, man! It’s not like she killed you and took your wallet!”
“That’s the thing, she took my scrap and I want it back!” It pointed a finger accusatorily at Jane who was sitting on the floor staring at her feet and shaking violently.
“Look at her! She's just a girl! Do you think she could have built this whole place just to rob you? No! She's dead just like you and me!”
“Oh, please, do you think I’m going to listen to an ugly washed-out pizza chef?”
“That’s it! That’s fucking it!” Peppino pried a railroad spike out of the track and lobbed it as hard as he could at Swindle, who was caught so off guard it didn't have time to dodge. It hit hard, leaving a sizeable dent square in its forehead, and sending it into a rage.
“You stupid glitch! Augh ow! Look what you've done! Mess up my fragging paint job! I oughta kill you!”
“Im already dead you overgrown dryer!” Swindle leaned to squish Peppino like a bug, at the same time he climbed up its side and used its weight against it to slam its head into the road, knocking it out cold. Once he was sure Swindle was out, he got down and turned his attention back to Jane, who was in the exact same position she was in earlier, still shaking and muttering to herself.
“Ey, Jane?”
“How do we know that I’m really human?”
“How do we know that you're not?” She turned her head to look at him.
“People have actual names.” He thought for a second and then sat down next to her, “What's wrong with Jane?”
“It's like a left shoe on a right foot. Just not right. Better than nothing, but still wrong.” “Would you be human if you had a name that fits?”
“Humans know who they are, I don’t even remember being alive,” Jane fidgeted with the trim of the uniform skirt as they spoke.
“Want me to let you in on a little secret?” they nodded so he continued, People don’t really know who they are for mosta their lives. Even if you could remember everythin’ someone your age wouldn't know who they was.”
“Oh…”
“On the bright side, we got forever to figure it out now.” They looked up at him, “I think I would like to try John then.”