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English
Series:
Part 8 of The Shitty Week
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Published:
2015-08-06
Words:
559
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
14
Hits:
316

The Time The Word "Birthday" Was Learnt

Summary:

- When you're 40, the only thing you should do on your birthday is to get drunk enough to forget you're 40.
- So that, when you wake up the next day, you'll feel like you're 85?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

It was Saturday. Numbers was sitting in a chair, looking in his planner, and Wrench got on the carpet with a book. Looking up, he reached out and touched his partner's knee.

- Fuck! - jumped bearded man. - The next time choose a different way to attract my attention.

Wrench grinned. Only because Numbers was jumping every time, he didn't stop to have fun this way.

- Well, I'm sorry that you shit your pants on each touch.

Numbers glared at him, but decided not to argue.

- What do you want?

- Your birthday is in 3 days.

- My what?

- Your b-i-r-t-h-d-a-y. How can you not know that word? It's on a level of a first grader.

- I know this word, I just can't remember everythin, you know - snapped Numbers. - And what's a sign for it?

Wrench put the inside of the palm turned to himself and put a finger to his lips first and then to the heart.

- Great, but I don't need it anyway.

- Don't you want to celebrate it somewhere?

- No, thank you. When you're 40, the only thing you should do on your birthday is to get drunk enough to forget you're 40.

- So that, when you wake up the next day, you'll feel like you're 85?

Numbers rolled his eyes and went back to his planner. A minute after he felt a touch to his knee again.

- WHAT?

- I think, we should go to the Great Canyon.

- Jeez, what for?

- I thought you may like a short trip.

- Man, I'm old, okay? All I need is repose.

- Okay, at least, let me throw a party.

It's not gonna be something huge and loud. - he signed, looking at his partner's grimace. - A small celebration, just to appreciate the fact, you're now officially an old fart.

- Whatever, I don't care. - gave up Numbers. - You know the rules, until it's not irritating me in any way, or includes any damage of my property, do whatever you want.

Wrench beamed at him.

- I'll try my best.

- And this time I won't accept a bloody head as a gift.

- No way Jose

- What?

- N-o w-a-y J-o-s-e. That means, absolutely not.

- You really have to do something with that constant usage of slang..

- And you really have to stop acting like an old fart.

 

3 days later he was ready. When Numbers went into the living room, he froze.

On a table there was a mostrous construction, which probably supposed to be a cake. Near a cake there was a gun, tied with a ribbon.

Wrench jumped out and before his partner could protest, he pulled a cap on his head.

- Did you put the gun here specifically, so I could kill you, after you do shit like this? - signed Numbers, when he pulled back.

- Look what's under the gun.

There was a towel with embroidered sign "Happy birthday, old fart!".

Numbers sighed and turned to Wrench, who pulled out a camcorder.

"It's me, Wrench" - he signed, turning it on himself, smiling widely. - "And today's a big day, as Numbers is now officially old! And what's more important is that he finally learnt how to sign 'birthday' properly. He will now demonstrate". He turned camera back on his partner.

- C'mon, show us the word 'birthday'!

With a crooked smile, Numbers stuck out his middle finger and slowly touched his lips, and then his heart.

Notes:

Aaaaaand that's a wrap! The Shitty Week is officially over, I hope you liked some of the stories as much, as I did. ;)
today is also my birthday, so now I can go and have a piece of cake (not as mostrious as the one Wrench did, but still).

xxx

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