Chapter Text
It was the sneeze that did it, in the end. Kaveh heard him from his room and froze, his pencil mid-stroke across the page. He stood up and when he came around the corner, Alhaitham was standing just inside the front door, dragging his nose across his sleeve in a gesture too human for Kaveh’s bastard of a roommate and trying to get one of his shoes off. Kaveh crossed his arms.
“Well, look who managed to drag himself home.”
“Is this what it’s like coming home to a nagging spouse?” Alhaitham asked flatly and Kaveh’s frown deepened. Even Alhaitham’s voice sounded rough, lower than normal, wet and thick. He sniffed again and Kaveh dropped his crossed arms.
“You sound awful,” he said.
“Leave me alone,” Alhaitham replied. Kaveh ignored him, heading down the hall towards him. The floor was cold on his bare feet but then, it was fairly late and he’d been firmly in for the night. There was graphite smudging his fingers and his hair was no doubt an absolute disgrace, but what did it matter, anyway? Kaveh had given up a long time ago on trying to impress Alhaitham. He knew a lost cause when he saw one.
He put his hand on Alhaitham’s shoulder, forcing him to stand upright, then put the back of his other hand on his forehead.
Definitely feverish. Alhaitham jerked backwards, a scowl on his face that Kaveh ignored.
“Don’t touch me,” Alhaitham said. Kaveh put one hand on his hip.
“You’re warm. Go sit down, I’ll make you some tea.”
“I don’t want tea,” snapped Alhaitham. “I just want to go to bed.”
Kaveh threw up his hands. “Fine. Die then.” That’s what he got, trying to do something nice. He turned away, storming back up the hallway and into his room. But just before he shut the door completely, he paused, listening. He heard Alhaitham’s footsteps trudge down the hallway to his own bedroom, just on the other side of Kaveh’s own. Heard him sneeze, then again, harder the second time and a soft noise that might have been a groan on anyone else before the room went silent.
He listened for another minute or so but it seemed that Alhaitham had either fallen asleep pretty much immediately or he’d taken Kaveh’s advice and keeled over dead.
As if Kaveh could be so lucky.
But the thought felt hollow as his hand slipped from the door frame and he nudged his door shut with a soft click. Alhaitham’s protests had seemed tenser than normal, more wound tight and desperate as he’d fought with his shoe in the entry way. Seemed whatever he’d caught was really putting him through the ringer.
Kaveh turned back to his desk, sat back down and picked up his pencil. He stared down at his sketch for a long moment before he put his pencil back down again. The itch was crawling up his spine and he put his head in his hands, frustrated with himself.
Alhaitham didn’t need his help. Alhaitham didn’t want his help.
But he could no more stop being in love with Alhaitham than he could stop breathing or drawing or eating or drinking. He dropped his hands, looking around the room that had become Kaveh’s and stood up again. He eased the door open and slipped into the hallway, grabbing a wrap from the hook to keep out the night chill as he ducked out into the darkness.
-
If Kaveh hadn’t seen him the night before, he definitely would have realized something was wrong when the sun was properly up and high in the sky before Alhaitham made his way out of his bedroom. His junior wasn’t precisely a morning person at the best of times but this was far later than he was normally up and about.
He didn’t turn around as Alhaitham’s footsteps shuffled towards the kitchen, then stopped in the doorway.
“You’re here,” Alhaitham said. His voice was thick, muted and blunt with congestion. Kaveh bit back a grin, looking down at the pot warming on the stove.
“They always did say you were a genius,” he said. He forced his expression neutral and turned back to face his roommate. Alhaitham looked back at him steadily, gray-faced and clearly exhausted. His eyes were swollen and his back hunched, and he was gripping the door frame in an effort to stay upright.
“Why are you here?” Alhaitham croaked. Kaveh ignored the question – far too embarrassing to answer, anyway – and turned back to the stove.
“Sit,” he said. “Or would you prefer to eat in your room?”
Alhaitham frowned, eyes going from Kaveh to the stove. “What is it?”
“Soup,” Kaveh said. He gestured at the table. “Sit down, I’ll pour you a bowl.”
Alhaitham opened his mouth, then shut it. For a long moment he simply stood there, braced in the doorway. Then he shuffled into the room and took a seat at the table.
A small victory, but a victory Kaveh was going to savor. He picked up a bowl from the counter and filled it with soup, placing it carefully in front of Alhaitham. He was rummaging around in the drawer for a spoon when Alhaitham cleared his throat.
“I can’t read and eat soup,” he said. Kaveh rolled his eyes.
“You shouldn’t be reading at all right now, it’ll give you a headache. Just eat that so there’s something in your stomach and then go back to bed. I’ll get you some water too.”
“Why are you doing this?” Alhaitham asked quietly. He asked it more to the bowl of soup than to Kaveh himself. Kaveh put a hand on his hip, holding out the spoon for Alhaitham to take.
“What do you mean, why? Like I’m just supposed to leave you to suffer?”
“You’re going to catch… whatever this is. It’s the better choice to just go to work like normal and leave me alone to let it run its course.”
Kaveh scoffed. “Well, that’s just heartless. Would you have left me like this?”
“Yes.” Alhaitham looked up at him and the disappointment cut, keen and sharp and swift as any blade. Kaveh pressed his lips together, feeling the color burn high in his cheeks and turned away. He tried to force back the anger, the hurt, the frustration – Alhaitham was clearly too sick to argue properly. And what had he expected, anyway? He’d known the answer before the question was even out of his own mouth.
“You’re such an ass,” he muttered instead, heading for the sink. He was contemplating the best way to pack up the soup so Alhaitham could heat it up later when he heard the spoon scrape against the bowl, the soft sound of Alhaitham slurping the broth and he let out his breath in a tight, relieved sigh. At least he was eating it.
“Kaveh.”
Kaveh barely stopped himself from flinching. He knew that tone. “What? Eat your soup. Then I don’t have to listen to you speak.”
“Kaveh, these herbs...”
Shit. Kaveh thought maybe he might be able to sneak this one past Alhaitham but it seemed even sick and half-asleep, Alhaitham’s mind was as sharp as ever. Gods, this was going to be embarrassing. He steeled himself, then promptly lost any semblance of courage.
“What about them?” he asked, trying to stave off the inevitable.
“This is Tighnari’s blend. Where did you get these?”
“From Tighnari, obviously. Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?” Kaveh asked. He turned around, unable to help himself and immediately wished he hadn’t. Alhaitham’s eyes were fixed on him, expression a bit clearer, more awake than when he’d first dragged himself into the kitchen.
“Tighnari. The same Tighnari who only blends these herbs fresh-picked whenever Cyno or Collei manages to come down with a head cold.” Alhaitham’s voice was flat, even blunted by the congestion that clogged his sinuses and Kaveh could feel his skin beginning to burn.
“Must have had some leftover in my things,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Alhaitham’s eyes flicked to his arms – noting the defensive body language – and Kaveh let them drop.
“Did—” Alhaitham started before, oddly, pausing. His brow furrowed and he cleared his throat. “Did… you go all the way to Gandharva Ville last night?”
Lie, Kaveh. Lie.
Kaveh scoffed. “Of course not! It was the middle of the night! What, you think I saw you come home sick and instead of just going to bed and getting my beauty sleep, or— or staying up and working on my designs, I instead went out into the night all the way to Gandharva Ville, woke Tighnari up and begged him to make his medicinal herb blend? And then came all the way back here and made it for you just so you’d stop looking so deeply pathetic and making me wor—”
He clamped his mouth shut. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he muttered, turning back to the stove.
He waited for Alhaitham to roll his eyes, to say something scornful about how he shouldn’t have wasted his time or energy, but the seconds ticked by one after the other and Alhaitham, strangely, remained silent. After a long stretch, Kaveh continued packing away the soup.
“There,” he said, dusting his hands and putting them on his hips. “That’s a couple of servings. The herbs should help with the congestion.”
It wasn’t fleeing, per say, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to stay in that kitchen a second longer, waiting for Alhaitham’s brain to finish crafting whatever insult was no doubt spinning away between his ears. Kaveh headed for the hallway. Half of him thought Alhaitham might call him back – but Alhaitham remained silent and Kaveh made it to his bedroom without another word between them.
He sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. A headache throbbed at his temples.
This was getting out of hand. Just lay all your cards out, Kaveh, why don’t you? Spread your hand for the world to see. Let the feelings just bleed out of you, all over the place, until Alhaitham grows so disgusted he casts you back onto the streets.
He dropped backwards, blinking up at the ceiling.
Pathetic, truly.
-
Thankfully, work took most of Kaveh’s attention for the remainder of the day and by the time he looked up from his sketches, the sun was beginning to set down over the edges of the trees. His stomach clenched unhappily, grumbling up into his ribs and he groaned, leaning back in his chair and stretching his arms over his head.
He wanted a break. Maybe a drink, down in the cafe, or even the tavern…
A twinge of anxiety lowered his spirits and he sighed, letting his arms drop and looking back down at the mess of design sketches that had somehow, yet again, spread over his desk off the edges and all over his bed. He should really just finish this, first. Focus on it. It wasn’t the most exciting building he’d ever designed, but it was useful, an addition to some of the medical facilities on the edges of town, and it was paying well. He could get Alhaitham rent on time for once.
Speaking of Alhaitham—
Kaveh shoved back from his desk and headed for the hallway. But the house was silent, Alhaitham’s door closed tight. Kaveh leaned close to it to listen, but couldn’t hear any noises inside. Well, hopefully that meant he was sleeping off his illness.
That thought lasted just long enough for Kaveh to reach the entryway. Alhaitham’s shoes were gone and there was only Kaveh’s key on the hook, lonely and winking gold in the dying afternoon light.
“You bastard,” Kaveh said to no one, scowling at the key. “I told you to rest.”
The house remained silent and Kaveh threw his hands up in frustration, storming to the kitchen.
He chopped some carrots with single-minded determination, scowling down at the knife in his hand as he imagined all the things he’d say to Alhaitham when he returned, arguing with him in his head.
“I told you to get some sleep.”
Whack. A bit of carrot slid off the counter and hit the floor.
“The world will not collapse because you took the afternoon off.”
Slice. Kaveh dumped the carrots into a bowl and grabbed a radish.
“You’re going to wear yourself into the ground.”
He paused, the knife over the edge of the radish. The anger bled away, leaving the worry in its place and he groaned, dropping his head as he braced himself on the edge of the counter.
Worrying about Alhaitham was a fool’s errand at the best of times. And yet, here Kaveh was.
He finished the rest of his salad in silence and ate it leaning against the edge of the counter, every crunch of the vegetables too loud in the silent kitchen.
-
Kaveh passed out on his desk around midnight, ruining a half-finished sketch of the outdoor recuperation area by drooling all over it, and woke up with a crick in his neck that sent unpleasant shoots of pain down his shoulders and into his back.
But he had a handful of site visits today, plus a follow up with the contractor that he’d put in charge of the medical facility expansion to discuss materials, so he stretched halfheartedly, yawning wide as he stumbled down the hall towards the kitchen.
Alhaitham was gone again, it seemed. Kaveh would just make himself a cup of coffee and then be on his way with plenty of time to meet up with—
A jolt of irritation shot up his spine and he groaned, slumping against the door frame.
How many times had he asked Alhaitham to just clean up the pot after he made tea? It wasn’t hard and to leave it dirty was just downright disrespectful. He probably did it on purpose, just to watch Kaveh fume.
Kaveh stalked towards the stove top, grabbing the pot and turned to the drain. Alhaitham had even left out Kaveh’s favorite mug after using it, no doubt dirty and smelling like tea. Some kind of power play after Kaveh had had the audacity to give a shit about him, no doubt. Not that Kaveh even disliked tea, but he preferred coffee in the mornings and Alhaitham knew that and— and anyway, it was just basic courtesy.
Kaveh dumped the dregs of Alhaitham’s tea from the pot, already thinking through what he’d say if Alhaitham were standing there with him, only— only that... didn’t smell like tea.
He paused, frowning, lifting the pot to his nose as the deep brown liquid swirled away.
Coffee?
Alhaitham hated coffee first thing in the morning, preferring to drink it closer to midday so he didn’t start off shaky with the extra energy. Kaveh lowered the pot, confused, and looked back at his mug.
Clean, dry, tea-free.
“What the hell?” Kaveh said.
The mug did not reply, sitting there innocently on the counter.
Kaveh put the pot back on the stove and picked up the mug, looking around the kitchen as if it might hold some answers.
Maybe the illness had rattled Alhaitham’s brain. Or maybe he’d just wanted coffee for once. Maybe it wasn’t that deep and Kaveh was being ridiculous.
“Whatever,” he muttered, picking the pot back up and beginning the process of re-brewing coffee. He lit the stove and placed the pot over the flame. While he waited for it to heat, he headed for the front door, checking to see if there were any messages delivered early that morning. As Scribe (and his temporary position as Acting Grand Sage, of all things), Alhaitham got correspondence fairly regularly, but Kaveh was expecting a note from a contact in Port Ormos about some potential business and he’d reluctantly given him Alhaitham’s address to deliver the news.
A small stack of envelopes sat tucked behind the sconce and Kaveh let the door rest against his hip as he tugged them out, flipping through them quickly. A few for Alhaitham, a flyer for the cafe… nothing from Port Ormos, but there was a small green envelope with his name printed in Tighnari’s familiar handwriting.
Kaveh frowned, stepping back inside and letting the door shut behind him.
A note, requesting Kaveh take a trip to Gandharva Ville in Tighnari’s customary bluntness, sighed with a T and creased in the middle. No other details, but Kaveh owed Tighnari about a thousand favors by this point, so he mentally rearranged his day – a few site visits could definitely be pushed until tomorrow, and if he left Sumeru City right after his meeting with the contractor, he’d be able to make Gandharva Ville before sunset.
The coffee began to whistle behind him and Kaveh folded the note and tucked it in his pocket, wrapping a towel around his hand so he could grab the pot off the stove.
He made his coffee quickly, rinsing out the pot and setting it upside down to dry as he pondered what Tighnari might want. Knowing Tighnari, it could be anything.
Balancing the mug, he took a sip, wincing as the too-hot coffee scorched his tongue as he grabbed his claymore from where it rested in the front hall. Normally he wouldn’t bother with it just walking around Sumeru City, but there were plenty of agitated fungi he’d seen on the way to Gandharva Ville the last time, not to mention whatever was in the forest itself. Better to be prepared than not.
-
When he arrived in Gandharva Ville, the sun was still fairly high in the sky, due largely because the contractor Kaveh had been supposed to meet with failed to show up. He’d spent the entire trip to Gandharva Ville composing increasingly more irritated letters in his head to the worker’s guild and finally arrived at the outpost in a foul mood.
A cry went up from somewhere up the rope bridge and Kaveh lifted his head to see Collei beaming at him, waving furiously from higher up in the village. His mood lifted almost at once and he lifted a hand in reply as she raced down the bridge to meet him.
“Kaveh, hello!” she cried, going up on the balls of her feet.
“Collei, my dear, how wonderful to see you,” Kaveh replied. It was amazing to see her like this, full of energy and life and enthusiasm. The sparkle in her eye was getting stronger every day, and not for the first time emotion rose up in his throat at everything she was and everything she was going to get to be.
It was followed, as it was these days, by the swift punch of guilt.
Where were you when Sumeru needed you most?
“Tighnari around?” he asked, shoving it away, and Collei nodded.
“Up there.” She pointed. “Watch yourself on the steps! They’re slippery.”
Kaveh watched her go, darting down the path, greeting a few of the other forest rangers as she went by and smiled, shaking his head and heading up the path.
Tighnari was grinding a few herbs in a mortar and pestle when he knocked on the door frame, ducking his head to step inside the shelter.
“Ah, Kaveh. You got my note.”
“Came as soon as I saw it.” Kaveh looked around the room. Sunlight streamed in through the open window and he could see a few texts spread open on the nearby workbench, all open to different sketches of plants. “Everything alright?”
“Oh, fine, fine, don’t worry.” Tighnari sat back, fixing him with that probing expression. “How is Alhaitham?”
Kaveh felt his cheeks flush. “A bastard, as always. Though the herbs seemed to help. He went back to work at least. Thanks again for that.”
Tighnari arched an eyebrow. “It’s not often I’m woken in the middle of the night like that.”
Kaveh winced. “Yeah, trust me, I asked myself about a thousand times what I was doing as I traveled over here.”
Tighnari snorted, leaning back over his workbench and picking up the pestle. “Well, no bother. I’m glad he’s feeling better. Though I can’t actually picture Alhaitham of all people with a head cold.”
“It was deeply unsettling,” Kaveh said. He folded his arms, letting his head drop against the door frame. “I’ve seen him strung out after staying up all night reading or studying, but I’ve never seen him sick like that.”
Tighnari glanced up, tapping the pestle gently against the bottom of the mortar. “Well, I’m glad you’re here. I could use your assistance on something.”
Kaveh gestured for him to continue and Tighnari stood up, walking to the door and stepping out onto the walkway. “Remember the last building you designed for Gandharva Ville?”
“The one I built over a Withering Zone?” Kaveh asked dryly, flashing back. It was a bittersweet memory, sticky with the cloying taste of failure and embarrassment, but with a bright underlay of his friendship with Tighnari, which had been forged during the incident and had remained strong since.
“The very same,” Tighnari said. “After all that was said and done, it has stood up well and it works well for our outposts. I was hoping you might have time in your schedule to design another one. The forest rangers don’t have much in the way of Mora, but I’m certainly not asking for you to work for free either.”
Kaveh held up a hand. “We can work those details out later. Honestly, I might even be able to get Amurta to cough up some Mora if I am able to implement something new and bio-friendly into the design…”
The familiar excitement of a fresh project, a fresh challenge, flared to life in the back of his mind and his fingers itched for his sketchbook as ideas began to tumble through his head, one after the other. Tighnari laughed softly at the expression on his face.
“What exactly did you have in mind?” Kaveh asked and Tighnari motioned for him to follow.
-
The sun had well and truly set by the time they’d finished up, but by then Kaveh had a rough proposal sketched out with the details Tighnari had asked for, as well as a few potential ideas scribbled in the margins. Energy rippled through him, itching across his skin.
Tighnari paused at the entrance to his house, one hand on his hip. “You’re more than welcome to stay tonight,” he said. “We have plenty of space and it’s already dark.”
Kaveh considered it, thinking about the long walk back to Sumeru City, the chill that had already begun to prick at the night air and the rumblings of the creatures that would be stalking through the dark.
He had his sketchbook with him, as well as his notes. He could settle in, have a pita pocket with Collei, flesh out the proposal with a few tantalizing tidbits that might sway Amurta to help finance the project.
He hadn’t left a note for Alhaitham letting him know where he’d gone, but—
“Sure,” he said, turning to Tighnari. “That’d be great, thanks.”
Tighnari nodded. “I’ll have Collei set out one more place setting,” he said and headed inside.
Kaveh rolled his shoulders back, yawning. It wasn’t like Alhaitham would think to worry or even notice he’d been gone at all. He followed Tighnari inside, letting the cloth of the door fall behind him as the forest became alive with the sounds of the night.
-
He made it back to Sumeru City before the sun had risen properly, getting an early start to enjoy some of the coolness of the night before it was burned away by the heat of the day.
He looked longingly at Pupsa Cafe as he walked by, but there was still a good hour before they opened and besides, he needed a shower and to organize his notes. He was fumbling his key out of his pocket, trying to balance his bag on one shoulder and his claymore across his back, when the door opened.
Alhaitham stood in the doorway, one hand braced on the frame, staring at him with a scowl on his face.
Kaveh blinked, momentarily taken aback. “You look better,” he said, for lack of anything else to say. When Alhaitham didn’t move, he frowned. “Are you going to let me in or what?”
Alhaitham dropped his arm, stepping back and Kaveh stepped inside. He toed off his shoes, hanging his key on the hook and leaned against the door to shift his notes to a more comfortable position in his arms.
Alhaitham still hadn’t said anything and Kaveh shot him a look. “What’s with you?” he asked, feeling oddly defensive. He shifted his bag higher on his shoulder, a few of his notebooks tucked in the crook of his arm and Alhaitham’s eyes went from the notes, to his bag, to his face and back again.
“You didn’t come back last night,” he said and Kaveh stared at him.
“I was working,” he said. He stepped past Alhaitham into the hallway, heading for his bedroom with the intention of dumping his things onto his bed to sort through properly. Alhaitham followed him, silent, like a shadow and Kaveh felt the back of his neck bristle. “Surprised you even noticed,” he said, shouldering open his bedroom door. “Figured you’d be enjoying the silence.”
Alhaitham stood in his doorway as he dropped his bag and then stacked the notebooks onto his desk instead of his bed. He put his hands on his hips and turned to face Alhaitham, studying his roommate properly for the first time since he’d walked in the door. There was more color in his face than the last time he’d seen him, and he seemed to be breathing better. Kaveh sighed, relieved. Good.
“How are you feeling, anyway?” he asked.
Alhaitham’s expression remained impassive. “Fine. Better.” He paused. “Thank you.”
Kaveh’s eyebrows shot up. “Did you just thank me?”
Alhaitham’s face shuttered. “I won’t make a habit of it,” he muttered, turning away. Kaveh felt a stab of panic and stepped forward.
“I just— wait, hang on. I was just surprised. Seriously, are you sure you’re feeling alright? You’re acting weird.”
Alhaitham paused, back to Kaveh, one hand drumming fingers against his thigh. “Did you eat breakfast?” he asked.
Kaveh stared in bewilderment at the back of his neck. “No. Aren’t you going to be late?”
“I’ve accumulated more leave and overtime than any one person could spend in a lifetime,” Alhaitham said dryly. “I can take a few extra minutes to have breakfast with my roommate.”
He continued down the hallway, heading to the kitchen as Kaveh stood there, rooted to the floor in shock. What in Celestia’s great sparkling stars was happening here? Should he notify someone that Alhaitham was acting oddly? Call Cyno and make an official report to the General Mahamatra that someone had clearly managed to create a lifelike replica of Alhaitham without tuning all his acerbic dials properly? Some scholar was going to get locked up forever and the real Alhaitham was going to be livid.
He raked a hand through his hair, wincing as he pushed some of the messy pieces that had managed to break free of his clips back behind his ears and followed Alhaitham into the kitchen. The smell of spiced potatoes filled the air and Kaveh stared as Alhaitham plunked a giant platter of potatoes down into the center of the table.
“Forget how to walk?” he asked without looking up and Kaveh scowled at him, pulling out the chair with a screech of the legs against the tiled floor and sitting down.
“Did you make this?” he asked.
“No, a new Domain opened up in our kitchen and the only thing in it was hot spiced potatoes.”
Kaveh snorted, despite himself, and was rewarded by the tiniest flicker of a smile across Alhaitham’s face. It sent warmth blooming through his stomach and he cleared his throat, pushing back from the table.
Alhaitham looked up. “Where are you going?”
“Making coffee.” Then, because Kaveh was feeling charitable in the face of the breakfast laid out on the table: “Tea?”
“If you insist.”
If he insisted, like it was some massive burden for Alhaitham to accept Kaveh’s offering to make him tea. Kaveh rolled his eyes, grabbing the coffee from the shelf before cursing himself and grabbing the tea first instead because he knew for a fact how much it sucked to take a sip of tea and have it taste like someone else’s coffee and he was a good roommate damn it, despite what Alhaitham implied to every single one of their friends and acquaintances, not to mention scribbling all over the damn notice boards about it.
He went about making the tea while Alhaitham clinked around at the table, eating his breakfast in silence. It was… surprisingly pleasant, actually, puttering around the kitchen like this with Alhaitham at the table. It was rare their schedules synced up enough to eat together, and even rarer for them to do it in easy silence.
Something had to be wrong. It didn’t make any sense.
Kaveh could feel his shoulders tensing as he waited for the other shoe to drop. Had he missed another rent payment? Left his sketches out all over the living room again? Woken Alhaitham up with more sleep-deprived creative racket in the middle of the night?
Finally he dropped his hands to the counter. “Alright, what is it?”
A beat of silence. “What is… what?”
“Don’t what is what me, Alhaitham, what is it? Did I miss a rent payment? Keep you awake? What, alright? Just chew me out and let’s get on with our days.”
He spun around to see Alhaitham watching him, face thunderous. “You must have hit your head out there fumbling around in the dark. You’re making even less sense than usual,” he said and Kaveh’s temper flared.
“I’m making less sense? Oh, sure, sure, it’s me making no sense, when you are acting completely insane.”
“Insane,” Alhaitham said flatly. Not a question, just a statement. The itching was becoming unbearable, anxiety racing up Kaveh’s skin and he threw up his hands.
“You know what? I can’t deal with this. I have an actual job I need to do today and it’s for Tighnari so I actually want to focus on it, so you can be insane on your own time.”
“Kaveh,” Alhaitham began, low and annoyed, standing up from the table but Kaveh was already storming away from the stove just as the water began to shriek for Alhaitham’s tea. Alhaitham stopped, clearly frustrated, and turned back to the stove and Kaveh took the opportunity to flee. He grabbed his notebooks from his bedroom, not bothering to fix his hair or wash his face and headed for the front door. He could hear Alhaitham moving the pot around, the clink of it against the stove, and thought for a second of the potatoes, sitting there growing cold in the middle of the table.
He hesitated, just for a second, before grabbing his key from the hook and bolting out into the early morning sunshine.
-
Kaveh thought it might be sort of difficult to put that morning’s strangeness out of his mind, but after grabbing a quick cup of coffee and a pasty at the cafe and holing himself up in the House of Daena, he found that time rapidly disappeared as he himself disappeared into his sketchbook.
He emerged around dinner, feeling light-headed and tingly, elated and exhausted all at once, but with something he thought might actually be a passable first draft.
He stretched, groaning softly and feeling his temples pulse with tiredness. The pastry he’d scarfed down for breakfast was long since burned away and his stomach growled unhappily. He put his head in his hands, taking a deep, steadying breath before sitting back in his chair and looking around the library.
He wondered if Alhaitham was in his office.
After a few second’s deliberation, he pushed back from the table, gathering up his drawings and headed for the lift.
Sure enough, when he shouldered open Alhaitham’s door, he was sitting at his desk, scowling down at a sheaf of papers in one hand and scribbling notes on a pad at the same time.
“’Haitham,” Kaveh began.
“Don’t you knock?” grumbled Alhaitham. Kaveh ignored him.
“I think I’ve finally got a nice design for the building Tighnari needs, take a look.”
Alhaitham didn’t look up from his report. “What building?”
Kaveh frowned. “The building I told you I was— wait, didn’t I tell you?”
“Was that before or after you threw a fit and stormed out of the house this morning for no reason?”
Alhaitham’s voice was dry as the desert itself and Kaveh realized, after a beat of silence, that Alhaitham’s scowl had gone deeper. His fingers seemed to be gripping his pen tighter and he was writing so hard he was nearly tearing the page. He was— was he upset with him?
Guilt flared in Kaveh’s chest as he thought about breakfast and he shifted, uncomfortably, in the doorway. He opened his mouth, then shut it.
“If you have nothing else to say, get out of my office. Unlike you, I have actual work to do.”
The irritation that bloomed in the pit of his stomach was quick, hot and familiar. “I do actual work,” Kaveh snapped. “I’ve been running myself into the ground to—”
He cut himself off abruptly and took a deep breath. He could recognize that, in this case, perhaps he was in the wrong. “I’m sorry,” he said. Alhaitham’s hand paused over his notepad. An odd tension descended on them both, thick and heavy with the same strangeness that had been permeating the last few days.
Kaveh almost didn’t want to break the silence. He looked again at the stacks of proposals littering Alhaitham’s desk. “Are you near a stopping point?”
“No,” Alhaitham said. He put his pen down.
Kaveh put one hand on his hip. “Well, you have to eat sometime, don’t you? Come on, let’s go get dinner.”
“With whose money?” Alhaitham asked, sitting back in his chair and fixing Kaveh with a look. Kaveh rolled his eyes.
“Ok, fine, you pay now and I’ll pay you back when I—”
“That’s not you treating me to dinner if I’m paying.”
“Then we’ll just go to dinner and eat together, how about that?”
Alhaitham arched an eyebrow. “And what gave you the impression that I wanted to eat with you?”
A hot jolt of embarrassment bloomed into Kaveh’s cheeks and he opened his mouth to snap back. But before he could find the words his stomach growled and some tiny, exhausted part of him snapped clean in two, hollow in the center of his chest. All the fight drained out of him, leaving him feeling empty and Kaveh simply… gave up.
“You know what? I don’t know. Forget it. Don’t wake me up if you’re coming home late.”
He turned to go, the exhaustion of the last few days of non-stop work settling down onto his shoulders like it had just been waiting for the opportunity.
He made it to the lift, jabbing the button with fingers made clumsy with tiredness, when a teasing nudge in his nose was the only warning he got before he sneezed, twice in quick succession.
“Oh, damn it,” he mumbled.
The lift began to move and he looked up, just in time to see Alhaitham stop in the doorway. He watched Kaveh as Kaveh slowly sank out of sight and Kaveh frowned, lifting one hand to wipe at his nose, which had started to run.
Odd. If he didn’t know any better, he might call the look on Alhaitham’s face…
But no. He knew Alhaitham probably better than anyone else in the whole damn City and he’d never once seen Alhaitham regret a single decision. And definitely not any decision that had to do with Kaveh himself.
Except, perhaps, the insistence that Kaveh come stay with him.
Kaveh sneezed again.
Oh, this was going to be absolutely dreadful.
-
He made it home before the headache set in, thankfully, and managed to get his shoes off and his key hung and himself into his bedroom before the light from the lamps began to make his eyes ache.
Kaveh stacked his notebooks on his desk and stripped off his cloak, tugging his hairpins free and getting himself down to just his shirt and trousers before dropping down onto his bed, face-first into his pillows.
Judging by Alhaitham’s recovery time, he probably had a day, maybe two before he’d be able to get properly back to work. He’d have to drag himself up to write a few notes canceling his appointments for the next few days, but he could do that in a minute. For now he just wanted to lay there and feel his body ache.
At least he’d gotten some work done on Tighnari’s project. Tighnari had stressed to him that the new Ranger outpost wasn’t urgent, but Kaveh was genuinely excited about the project and the disappointment that he was going to need to shelve it for a few days was sharp. He lay there for another few minutes, feeling his head get progressively more clogged before he groaned, hauling himself up and dragging himself to his desk.
Just a few notes explaining that he’d need to postpone a few things. There was the followup with the no-show contractor, the proposal meeting he’d been planning with a handful of Amurta scholars, the Kshahrewar students who’d cornered him in the tavern and begged him for a consult on their project proposal…
Kaveh groaned softly, rubbing his eyes. He felt the sneeze coming on and managed to lurch backwards in his chair, just barely avoiding sneezing all over his notes.
The front door opened and shut and Kaveh heard the rattle of keys being hung on the hook. He frowned, squinting out the window. He’d barely been home ten minutes. Alhaitham was never home this early.
Whatever. It was time that Kaveh started being honest with himself anyway. He’d stayed too long, imposed on Alhaitham out of some pathetic fantasy of trying to regain some semblance of their old friendship and all he’d managed to do was fall deeper in love with someone who’d clearly written him off without looking back.
It was time he found some other place to stay.
He listened to Alhaitham’s footsteps coming down the hall, closer and closer until they stopped in front of Kaveh’s bedroom door. He waited, but oddly, Alhaitham seemed to just be standing there. Kaveh sniffed, leaning back in his chair to listen, but the hallway remained silent.
Then, finally, a knock at the door.
“Yes?” he croaked, voice cracking in the middle of the word. He cleared his throat, wincing as the congestion shifted uncomfortably and Alhaitham opened the door.
He stood there for a long second, hand on the doorknob, looking at Kaveh in the chair.
“I told you you would catch what I had if you stuck around.”
Kaveh lifted one hand, waving it about a bit before dropping it back to his side. “Congrats, you were right. Is this just an ‘I told you so’ visit? Fine, done, goodbye then. Let me die in peace.”
Alhaitham frowned. “Go to bed.”
“I have to finish this.” Kaveh gestured at stack of blank paper that had somehow not become the notes he needed to write when he wasn’t looking.
Alhaitham unfolded his arms and crossed to Kaveh’s desk. Kaveh’s eyes narrowed.
“What are you—”
Alhaitham hooked his hands beneath Kaveh’s arms and hoisted him bodily up out of his chair to his feet. Kaveh yelped in alarm – feeble scholar his ass – as Alhaitham swung him around and nearly threw him onto his bed. He hit the mattress with a wheeze, groaning as his joints ached. Alhaitham re-folded his arms, standing just beside the bed, looking down at him and abruptly Kaveh was reminded of more than one particularly vivid dream that had started precisely this way.
He could feel his skin starting to burn and had to pray to Lesser Lord Kusanali and anyone else who might be listening that it was the fever starting and not yet another damn blush. Maybe he’d get lucky and the fever would spike so high it would boil his brains right inside his skull.
“’Haitham,” he said instead, low and choked and exhausted. “I don’t—”
Alhaitham’s jaw tightened. “What do you need?”
Kaveh stared at him. “What do I need?”
“What part of that question confused you?”
Kaveh took a breath to reply and sneezed instead, flinching upwards to hunch over on himself. “This came on fast,” he mumbled.
Somewhere over him, Alhaitham sighed. “It did for me too.” Then Kaveh felt a hand gently card through his hair, fingers soft against the back of his neck. The touch was so gentle, so warm, and it had been so long since anyone had touched Kaveh like that that to his horror, tears sparked hot behind his eyes. He took a quick breath, trying desperately to stave them off, and Alhaitham’s hand went still, then lifted.
Kaveh made a soft noise into his own knees, squeezing his eyes shut and Alhaitham breathed out, quick and sharp.
“I… am a little out of my depth here,” he said, very quietly and Kaveh frowned.
“You don’t owe me anything,” he said, lifting his head to look up at his roommate. Alhaitham’s lips were twisted into a frown and he seemed to be struggling to come up with the words, flexing his fingers at his sides while he thought.
“You went to Gandharva Ville for me in the middle of the night.”
Kaveh blinked. “Is… that what all the weirdness has been about? That wasn’t to put you in my debt and if you think you are, I am begging you to leave it. We’re even.”
“I don’t understand why you did that.”
Kaveh snorted and lay back against his pillow again, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes until red spots bloomed in the darkness. “Yes, well. Don’t worry, I won’t inconvenience you next time.”
“That’s not what I—” Alhaitham broke off, frustration clear in his tone. “Kaveh, what do you need?”
Kaveh opened his eyes again and looked up at Alhaitham. Alhaitham was wound tenser than Kaveh had seen in a long time, lines of hard tension in his shoulders and arms, jaw tight and lips pressed together.
And Kaveh realized suddenly that they might be talking about more than just a bowl of soup or an extra pillow for the night.
“A lot has happened in the last few weeks,” Alhaitham said. He swallowed. “I… have had a few conversations with a few people that have caused me to look at some things differently.”
“What kind of conversations?” Kaveh asked. Alhaitham crossed his arms, looking away as Kaveh sat up fully, crossing his legs into a criss-cross on the bed.
“There’s a lot in the world that makes sense to me,” Alhaitham said, more to the floor than anything else. “You have never been one of those things.”
Kaveh was beginning to find it difficult to breathe, his heart throbbing. Alhaitham sighed.
“None of my tests have been working, so there’s no point in continuing them. Clearly, I just have to ask you outright – what do you need?”
“Tests...” Kaveh croaked. He thought about the coffee, the breakfast, the expression on Alhaitham’s face when he’d stayed out all night and the way he’d stopped working when Kaveh had brought up going to dinner. His mouth was saying one thing, but his hands were saying another. Had they always been doing that? How much had Kaveh missed?
“Or perhaps that is my answer in itself. Perhaps you are being truthful in your many complaints against my character.”
There was no offense in that statement, just Alhaitham’s cool reasoning, low and even. Kaveh ignored the words, eyes going from Alhaitham’s face to his hands, to where his fingers were picking at the loose thread at the seam at his hip, tugging it and twisting it between his thumb and index finger. Betrayed, despite his words, by the smallest motions of his own body.
Kaveh stood up, pushing himself off the bed and stepped in close to Alhaitham. Alhaitham watched him carefully, eyes giving nothing away as Kaveh slid his arms around Alhaitham’s waist and dropped his forehead onto his shoulder.
For a second there was silence, punctuated by nothing but the thunder of Kaveh’s heart. He could feel Alhaitham breathing against him and waited to see what his roommate would do.
“If you give this disease back to me, I’ll put you out on the street,” Alhaitham said softly, directly into Kaveh’s ear even as his arms came up, tentative as he placed them around Kaveh’s torso. A soft pressure, the feel of Alhaitham’s cheek against Kaveh’s temple and Kaveh felt the tension drain away from his own shoulders, leaving him feeling boneless and exhausted.
He could feel Alhaitham’s heart beating where they were pressed together, faster than he might have expected and felt such a rush of pure affection for him that it left him feeling dizzy.
He cleared his throat, straightening up, but Alhaitham didn’t let him go, watching him carefully.
“I—” Kaveh began, then jerked backwards, twisting at the last second to sneeze. Alhaitham’s nose wrinkled.
“Go to bed,” he said, releasing Kaveh and taking a step back.
“But—” But what if this was Kaveh’s only chance? What if this strange cease-fire evaporated with the rising of the sun and Kaveh was left to wonder if it was the newness of dreaming that had left the memories lingering in his mind?
“Go to bed,” Alhaitham said again. He put a hand flat on Kaveh’s chest, gave him a little push that sent him stepping backwards towards his bed. “Trust me. It will help.”
Kaveh sighed. “Fine.” He turned, then paused. “Uh. Thank you.”
Alhaitham paused. “I’ve done nothing worth a thank you. And anyway, it’s unnecessary. Get some sleep.”
He turned for the hallway and Kaveh watched him go, sitting on the edge of his bed until he disappeared, shutting the door behind him.
Then he slowly put his head in his head in his hands and bit back the urge to scream.
Now what, precisely, was he meant to do with any of that?