Work Text:
“Here they come! Here they come!” Overly emotional children and adults were jovially running about. If only they could shut their mouths.
Annie paid no attention to the raucous around her as her Warrior Unit paraded through the streets of Liberio after their first triumph somewhere abroad she didn’t care about. The citizens there sure weren’t as thrilled about this as her own people here were. They didn’t get to see the smeared remains and scattered rubble everywhere.
The crowds gathered around them. Some threw little coins and others threw flowers to grace their presence with gratitude and hopes of liberation from their plight. Some little kids tried to approach them with pamphlets with sketches of the Titan forms of the Unit on them in hopes of a signature but were quickly escorted back to their parents by the Public Security Authorities. They may as well have asked her to spit on them. Did they think that this was a game to have live weapons in front of them in the form of rifles and Titans? Did they think that real war was like a game of war with toy soldiers and building blocks knocked over? Well, if that was a comforting way to think about it, she had to accept it and block the imagery out.
They processed on informally. Zeke Jaeger and Pieck Finger led at the front, and the rest of Annie’s class walked in the middle. Annie stayed behind the rest of the group. They hadn’t had much time to bond over the last year with the war and intensity of the experiments performed on them. She wanted to forget all about them and think about her classmates she liked and disliked alike.
Bertholdt was okay because he was quiet. The Titan he harbored was the most potentially destructive. He had to be isolated the first weeks to prevent any unintended transformation. Marcel was nice but wasn’t as open about his shared disgust with the whole upcoming mission as she was. He feared for his brother’s life too much even after he was chosen to stay behind for certain. He was lucky to have at least one family member who cared for him in return. As for Reiner, Annie walked straight into him, partially because she was looking down, but also because he was enjoying this too much. She grunted.
A man from the crowd got close enough to kneel down in front of them. His eyes were blotted with tears and snot dripped from his nose. “Oh, our blessings upon you! Our ancestors’ shame turned into Marley’s pride!” He tried to grab her hand. If the patrols weren’t fast enough, she could have knocked his knees out of joint anyways. She wasn’t a helpless little girl. Even from the sidelines he continued his little act, and this time, he folded his hands.
Was he seriously praying to them? How pathetic. At one point in time, that would get him and his family sent to the devil’s paradise if they praised the bearers of the Titans’ power. Not that Marley cared this time that Eldians were worshiping Ymir’s descendents now that the power of the devils was in their dirty hands to control the world. If only Marley’s shield could get that through his thick head.
“We will! We’re going to free all of you from this place! We’ll kill all the devils and-”
“Move it!” Annie shoved Reiner with all her strength. He tripped and caught himself before he tumbled. Marcel and Bertholdt noticed, the former ready to jump into action.
“Hey! You don’t have to be moody about everything, Annie. Aren’t you proud of what we’ve done so far?”
“Just hurry up and keep walking. We have more important things to do to prepare! This is a waste of time!” She just wanted to get to the end of this and be left alone. She hoped that would get him to shut up for once with how important this was to him for his own gain, but the fervor in him was strong from the gross love and attention he was receiving. He was always trying to impress the people around him for his own gain.
“Even as the road ends for us, I’ll protect Marley from the power of the king!” He waved at a woman, two couples, and two younger children. The woman had a red armband on her. No wonder. His family. He loved them too much, and they sucked up to Marley too much. Even her own father didn’t love Marley like this. Not that he loved her much either.
What annoying little shit. Annie shoved him ever harder. This time he fell face first.
“What the hell?”
“Get a move on!”
“Stop it, you two! You’re making a scene!” Marcel put himself between them, but a larger figure gently redirected him away to handle the situation for himself. And thankfully, it wasn’t a Marleyan about to pummel them with a rod but rather the eldest of the Unit to diffuse it.
“Come now, little ones. You can bicker later.” Zeke took a hold of Reiner’s hand. “Dear Reiner, you know a Warrior must be courteous to all around him, or he belongs with his fallen race in that awful place.”
“Hey! Not in front of my family! I’m not one of my little cousins!” he protested. But Zeke dragged him along to the front. A few of the adults from his family glanced at each other in confusion. Annie snorted in amusement. It served him right. If Porco were on parade with them, he’d be laughing his ass off. She had to wonder what the point of making the weakest of their class the Armored Titan was, but she dared not question anything the brass did. It was pointless like everything else they did.
Maybe Zeke could teach him a good lesson on how to take fame to heart. He was a hero from a young age before receiving his honorary status for turning in his own parents, Eldian Restorationists, to the authorities. Yet he didn’t boast about it like it would make his life any better than it was now that he was on borrowed time with a beast inside of him, one that he got from that Tom Ksaver researcher he was always playing catch with and talking about something or another in private.
Why had he stayed so attached to him after he ate him? He started wearing glasses that he didn’t need like a token, something for luck that would never be on the Eldians' side. Though maybe this was a special privilege the Boy Wonder was allotted for his bravery and loyalty. Most of the unit had no opportunity to meet their meals before the actual ceremony began. Even then, some of them were heavily drugged or blindfolded and gagged, so no words of advice for how to handle their powers or come to terms with the fact they were next in line.
Annie fleetingly remembered seeing her predecessor in front of her before injecting the serum into her veins. She was a pretty woman, kept cleaned and fed in her final weeks. Her usefulness as an adult had greater restraints than that of the children who didn’t dare to openly question Marley to the military, she found out later. But she didn’t want to think of the horrid memory that she inherited from that woman’s life. No. But maybe it would be her destiny after this damn mission was completed, the way she would spend her final years as a pampered animal if she succeeded, separated from the world and the people in it.
Not that it really mattered. She had nobody close to her. All of them would die at the same time. Who knew if her dad would still be alive by then? After she died, she’d be forgotten by the living. But she was always spending her spare time in solitude, so why was this bothering her?
“Annie? Are you okay?” Bertholdt turned and asked her. He was tall for his age. Annie had to crane her neck to make eye contact.
“I’ll be fine.” Even so, she accepted his unspoken offer to walk alongside him and Marcel. Ahead, Pieck mumbled something to Reiner she couldn’t hear.
“You’re not going to be able to hold my hand when I go to the island!”
“Why of course not, if you are chosen to go,” Zeke replied. “But even great leaders start off as naive little boys who think they know it all and don’t need help from their elders.”
Annie secretly hoped that one of the older members would be part of the mission or at least Marcel. Reiner would never be a good leader if he kept boasting instead of proving it. And he certainly wasn’t going to free the Eldians here at all. None of them would.
…
At the training grounds later that day, Annie sat alone under the sole tree allowed in the perimeters to grow. She didn’t want to join the boys in their own blabbering by the wall. Pieck had offered to join her, but she pushed her away. She didn’t want to look like a vulnerable little girl in front of her. Besides, she had to go and see her dad later that day to make sure he took his newly accessible medicine on time. His leg still radiated with sharp pain.
The boys had grabbed hold of some food offered to them by the crowds as a sacrifice to their sacrifices. Some of it happened to be filled with sugar. Sugar was a rare commodity that Eldians had to be very rich to buy and consume. Maybe a Marleyan had given it to them. She’d only heard rumors that sugar made things very sweet, even sweeter than the harvest apples. But Annie felt too poorly to ask to try it. It felt like a sick reward for what Marley had done to her.
“ From your predecessor, we discovered that the Female Titan has a unique ability of its own. It’s not that its form has a definable trait itself, but it can mimic the abilities of other Titan Shifters if it consumes parts of them,” the scientist explained to her.
Annie stared at him uninterestedly in her chair. She knew where this was going. No need to act like she was going to have an escape or other option.
“We’re going to see if we get any reaction from consumption in your human body and your Titan form. The first we’re going to try is in your human body with some spinal fluid samples taken from the Beast and from the Tybur family’s current Warhammer holder that they generously offered. Quite a shame that the military is not allowed to use it to compare up close because with your fighting techniques, we could advance our military strength that would put the devils of old to shame.” He chuckled. What a sick sound.
The door opened, and an assistant wheeled in two vials marked “Beast” and “Warhammer”. A few observing scientists in training entered in along with a brass member. This was when they were ordered to strap Annie down. She scowled at them.
“Hey now. Try to smile. You’re a sweet little girl about to make a lot of people happy.” One of them teased her and put his hands too tightly just below her shoulders to set her in position.
“You should try to be more optimistic like the Braun boy. He kept a smile on through the amputation session we had earlier.” Another, a woman, chimed in as she secured the straps near her thighs and ankles.
Did they have to be reminded that she could transform with the slightest injury that they inflicted on her? Not that she dared to. She was overpowered by greedy, selfish adults and judged worthy to be the sacrificial pig.
“This will be important for our strategy in capturing the Coordinate,” the brass member explained. “While we want to avoid a whole consuming of the King by an individual Titan, having a small piece of it in you may provide us future power on the battlefield. It would not work to have two or more Titans in one Subject simultaneously. The only way to split them again according to prior research is to have a non-regeneration and death, and that will just lead the powers going to a random infant in a camp or the devil’s island. We don’t want to waste all of our resources on another mission, do we?” He patted Annie on the head. She grunted.
The lead scientist cleared his throat. “And since we do not have any known royal bloods in our possession, we need to manufacture the same effect in you. And if successful, we can create a synthetic bloodline to control the Coordinate. You would be old enough to start bearing children by then. But that is only a working hypothesis.” He clapped his hands. “Now, the first vial we’ll be trying is from the Beast. Try to swallow quickly.”
He held the vial to her lips. Annie had never been scared on the battlefield as a Titan of being destroyed. But she was terrified of the creature in front of her with a toothy grin and a sick, sick mind with ideas to dehumanize her even further.
The first time she tried, she threw up. It wasn’t the taste that bothered her. She could tolerate eating that woman because she had no consciousness at the time. But to eat part of a comrade, one she saw every day? It was a travesty. They were just hunks of flesh in a butcher’s meat grinder to be packaged and reassembled for a better flavor, a new innovation. And if they were successful, they would just take her to innovate the next batch of unfortunate soulless devils to come. And she’d get to progenerate them.
It was only after that first round of experiments that she began to understand the lingering memory in her mind from that woman.
“Lavinia? You need to push. The experiment is going to fail if you don’t.” A man encouraged her from the opposite end of the bed. This man and his emotionless voice. He was the same scientist who made Annie drink vials. “You’re going to help save Marley.”
The woman groaned and screamed. Her swollen abdomen heaved. Her wailing was getting annoying to the people in the room and the inheritor who had to witness. Things went dark for a bit, and then, the scientist was holding a small bundle. Everyone was somber.
“Such a shame. Likely been dead for a while. We’ll have to try again after you’ve recovered. We have enough time for another insemination before you expire. We’ll do an autopsy and report our findings. Our Cart will be disheartened that his offspring never took a breath.”
The woman was left alone and bound up in chains in the bed. She was stunned in silence, in shock and shame from her failure. Then she wailed. They were breeding her.
Annie spat at an anthill. Stupid bugs. All they did was care for their queen and make her breed more and more before she died. That’s what the most powerful of the ants existed to do. Spawn and die because she was specially groomed for it.
She covered the hole with dirt. The ants were in a flurry. They were preparing to defend their home. But not even their leader had the power in her to do a thing to make a difference.
She pounded them flat with her hand. Their miniature corpses’ juices smeared across her hand. There. That stupid colony wouldn’t be around anymore.
“Little Annie, I can understand why you want to crush little pesky insects, but why are you crying like a child while doing it? Are you sympathetic to the enemy?”
Annie panicked. She hadn’t noticed her face was wet. She wiped it with her dirty hands, smearing her face with mud. “I’m… fine.” Oh damn it. Why did it have to be Zeke who found her like this? Even Commander Magath seeing her would have been preferable.
“I am rather good at catching lies, dear, and yours is the textbook example.” Zeke was standing above her and had a small bag in his hands. Behind his unnecessary glasses, he showed genuine concern. He was always watching their behavior, usually to keep his high standing with the brass if one of them needed to be ratted out for disloyalty or to adjust their strategy.
“Do you want to report me or what?” She sniffled. “I suck just like Reiner does, don’t I? I’m such a brat!”
Zeke was trying to hide a laugh. “Am I not allowed a day off myself from seeing who’s better than who or do you think I’m simply a devil? With this armband, I hope you see me as an equally honorary Marleyan returning from a stroll during this festivity .”
What was up with him trying to be so sweet and playful with all these poetic words?
“Can you go away then? I hate festivals.”
“Hey now. No insulting Marleyan tax dollars and your comrade at the same time.” He peered around and checked on the younger boys and Pieck in their corner. She had them under her control. What type of spell did she place on them? They followed her like ducklings that swam after their mother through that gross reservoir in Annie’s slum in the city. “You are certainly growing up. Is this an issue that a boy can handle, or do you want to talk through it with Ms. Finger?” He joined her on the ground.
“I don’t think anybody can handle it.” Annie cradled herself. “The experiments. It’s pointless.”
“What about them?”
“All of this!” The tears whelmed in her eyes again. But her despair attracted more attention from her comrades.
“Annie’s crying? She never cries!” Reiner exclaimed. Oh would she have given anything to sock the daylights out of him.
“Stop it, something’s wrong.” Bertholdt trembled and eyed Pieck who looked equally perplexed by the situation. But Zeke waved at her.
“It’s alright. I’ll talk to her. She’s just having some thoughts all children go through at one point or another. I know exactly what’s wrong.” He helped her stand up. “Here, come with me,” he whispered. “I won’t even hold your hand.”
Zeke led her to a bordering wall on the grounds that he used to spend time at with Tom Ksaver. A guard acknowledged them and did not question their little excursion. He left them alone. Zeke pulled out a package of cigarettes and a match from his bag. He lit it up.
"I can't smoke. I'm too young."
"Too young for a smoke but old enough for a war and medical experiments, huh? I just happen to have some knowledge about that. I was allowed to peek at some of the findings, plus memories from my father. I hope my spinal fluid wasn't that terrible, given you can now command the mindless Titans to an extent. Just don't use them for a quick out for yourself."
A quick out? Did he mean… suicide? What a dark and distant word she barely thought of despite her dismay at the world. Did she hate herself and everything that much to try? She remembered the kids at the parade. If one of them had a baby sibling born soon, it could inherit the Titan she possessed if not transferred properly.
Ugh. Having babies. She didn’t want to think about that. Too bad the adults in the Internment Zone couldn’t stop thinking about it and kept doing it for some reason. She had to think logically.
"No. I wouldn't want to curse another kid this much to be born to die."
"Good thinking." Zeke puffed some smoke out. Annie coughed. "One good thing about our powers is that we can regenerate our body parts. The next time I transform, my lungs won't be a tar pit. Neither will yours. Just have to have a will to live."
Annie didn't want to think about these powers in her body no matter how fascinating they were to Zeke who was set on finding ways to exploit them for himself. Why was he always so merry about how morbid their lives were?
"So, how are you going to handle me? Is there a power in your Titan blood that can change my attitude too?"
A smug grin formed on his face. "If Marley found that in my blood, I'm sure the world would have been made a better place by now." He rolled his eyes. On the ground was a tattered baseball. Zeke picked it up as if it were a precious heirloom of his. He showed it to her.
“I don’t want to play catch,” Annie muttered. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.
“I wasn’t going to ask. You’d find it pointless .” He threw the ball up and down in his own spare hand. “That is the problem you’re having, isn’t it?”
“I guess,” she sighed. “Everything is. I was meant to die since I was born and abandoned and when my dad decided to make me a weapon. And once the mission is done, Marley is going to start it all over again. With me. They want me to… to make sin-the-tick royal children when I’m older after we get the Coordinate.”
Zeke lost his coordination and dropped the ball. He looked bewildered. Were the fumes making him spastic? It was that, or the prospect of seeing her turned into a sow disgusted him. “My, the scientists at Titan Research do have some absurd notions about what they think they can do to play the gods to the devil’s spawn, don’t they?” His waxings did not disguise the disdain in his voice. “Of course, regardless of whether they think they can create a successful synthetic royal bloodline or not, it’s certainly not abnormal to have strong feelings against being used for the progenitor’s bidding enough as it is. We’re not so dissimilar in that part of our childhood stories, aren’t we?”
“Any old jerk off can make you do things you don’t want to. I sure didn’t come from my dad’s seed.”
“I didn’t come from my father’s seed either. I came from some fucker and a daughter of the devil.” Zeke replied with a pip. He picked up the ball. “But after the interrogation by authorities, I was informed that this fucker would never breed again.”
“Because he was sent to paradise?”
“Before that. He was neutered. Here, catch.” He tossed the ball toward Annie. It flew toward her in an upward curve shape. She reluctantly caught it with both hands after fumbling.
"Why did they do that?"
"Are you really questioning Marley on that? They had to show dominance somehow."
"Then why don't they just do it to all Eldians if they hate us so much? Why don't they just gas us, or even better, use the Coordinate once they get it to wipe us out, or make us stop being Titans? Why do they want me to give birth to royal synthetic children who could do exactly what Karl Fritz could do? Why do they want us around at all if all we do is kill, kill, kill and fuck ?" The last words rang sharply.
Annie threw the ball to the opposite wall. It flew at such high speed that upon making contact, the seams burst and the ball split. Its innards splattered on the ground. Annie clenched her fists. Were there more? It was far more satisfying to have something crunch than just splatter. Zeke whistled. "If that was that fucker's balls, Marley would enlist you in their torture methods for all their male dissidents."
"I wish I aimed higher when I injured my dad." Annie sneered.
"Well, you do have a spot on the mission that the Commander leaked to me, so you'll have plenty of opportunities to destroy walls and balls alike. And the devils there sure won't feel any desires then, and not just for a lack of dignity intact."
Annie blinked. "What?"
“Don’t play the modest lady with me, dear Annie. Oh, you mean the spot on the mission? Why yes, of course. You’re the only one secured to go. They’re still reviewing some assessments from our test run and some public research studies. It’s not just a matter of who is the best at fighting. The people here get caught up in the excitement and flimsy hope they cling to of becoming free, so they need a symbol. There’s me for my own little endeavor nobody can forget years later. But today seeing Reiner’s shared fervor with the fanatics in the streets, it could be better that he stay here to deter other nations as the Shield of Marley, a symbol for the people and a defense for us.”
“Hmph. I guess I’m only going because of my Titan’s abilities.”
“That would be correct. They need somebody who can adapt and fill multiple functions should the need arise.”
Some noisy birds flew overhead. Annie wished there was another ball she could throw at them. “Maybe I should just kidnap some royal bloods while I’m there. May as well use the real seed instead of testing it over and over again until I expire.”
“You might as well. Not like Marley is going to stumble across a hidden sect of royals at this rate.” Zeke extinguished his cigarette. “Now then, about this being pointless. I agree. Life is indeed just about who gets to breed and inevitably die. But you have to keep your head high. My father would be ashamed if I tried any other way. It's not that he thought any differently than me, but you can use your cards you're dealt with to your advantage. If it weren't for him and our games of catch, I bet I wouldn't have the perfect aim I do."
"And I wouldn't have been able to use my strength against my dad and pesky insects and pesky Reiner if it weren't for him forcing me to do it. I guess."
"That's the spirit! Though dear Annie, please try not to beat him up too much. He'll soon come to the same realizations all boys and girls have about this world."
Annie rolled her eyes. "Is that more likely than Eldians becoming free?"
Zeke laughed. "I don't think that we'll know until the cards fall into the right hands. Maybe our successors they're already scoping out will be the last ones in line. By then, there could be no need for you to suffer knowing your offspring will be damned." He momentarily removed those glasses from his face. "Although I wouldn't mind being damned to go to that island. I could see myself being very useful there, but Marley’s will be done."
Zeke looked almost possessed by something in his thoughts. Whatever it was, he was surely more optimistic than she was. It was nice he understood her though. If only she could find a greater purpose or understanding on her own.
"I'll do what I have to do, Zeke. But that's it. Children or not, I wouldn't mind being isolated in luxury the rest of my life. Thanks, though. I'll try not to cry anymore."
"I'm glad you're better. Now, why don't you run along and indulge yourself in those treats your comrades were gifted? No need to worry about overeating and clogging your arteries." Zeke got out another cigarette.
"I don't know."
"Marleyan tax dollars," he persuaded in a sing-song tone.
"I've never had sugar."
"It’s much better than spinal fluid, I promise." Her skepticism must have annoyed him. He dug out something from his bag. "Well, here. I bought these sweets for myself with my own money that my grandparents were kind enough to lend me. I hope the degree of separation from Marley is enough."
Annie’s second attempt at catch that day was much more successful. Zeke eyed her during his smoking as if he were begging her to try a piece of the individually wrapped caramels. Even if her dad had been able to afford sugar growing up, he wouldn't have let her had it as it would have hindered her diet as part of her training. It was as if Zeke had trusted her with a landmine in her hands. Was this him dealing her a card to play?
She cautiously unwrapped a piece. Worst came to worse, she could spit it out and never try it again. Zeke could be harsh in training, but he wouldn't be so cruel to make her try it until she felt sick, would he? But unlike the cards she was dealt by cruel fate, she was in control of this one moment of experimentation. Just one bite.
It was… a shock.
Apples were nothing. This was sweet. No, it wasn’t just that. This was sweetness enveloped and kept hidden from her all her miserable life until this moment when she needed it most. She needed another.
"See? I knew you'd like it. Did you think I was a duplicitous liar?"
Annie’s mouth was stuffed with caramel at this point. She blushed red. She didn’t want her older comrade to tease her. She trotted away with the bag in hand back to the training grounds.
When she arrived, her spot under the tree was occupied by Bertholdt, Marcel, and Reiner, and it appeared that Porco had joined them. Pieck was nowhere in sight. She must have gone to see her father. It seemed without her, the place had quickly fallen into chaos. Reiner was sitting on the ground looking rather grumpy. There was some steam around him. He was arguing with Porco. What a surprise.
"Well I'm sorry I don't have a good aim! I'm healing as fast as I can!"
"If you really think that they're going to send you to the island, they'd better consider making me your honorary babysitter so I can win your Titan! If you even make it to thirteen years!" Porco snapped back.
"Oh yeah? Then you get points off for failing to stop me from climbing the tree."
Bertholdt was the first to see Annie. "Uh, hi Annie. We were just playing catch. Are you feeling better now?" He turned to help Marcel out of the tree with the ball in his hands.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Zeke talked to me." She snuck her hand into the bag and popped another sweet into her mouth. She didn’t care that Marcel had made himself a human shield between Porco and Reiner. She didn’t care what was laid out ahead of her at the moment. She could lose herself in little bites of bliss to console herself in a life where everything tasted bitter.
She wondered if the boys hadn't stuffed themselves with all the sweets from earlier. She wanted to see what chocolate and pie tasted like.
"My, you can hear the sound of war from within these walls," a voice observed. Suddenly, nobody could be lost in a moment of heated arguments or sugar-induced bliss. Zeke had their attention. "And using Titan powers off the battlefield is illegal, Reiner."
"I'm just healing a few scrapes!"
"Well, hurry up and finish before the grounds close for the night. Be lucky it's our day off or I'd be reporting this."
"Fine. But what were you and Annie talking about? And why does she get her own bag of sweets?"
"Oh, she just needed a little evaluation to refocus on the road ahead. It's not always an easy one, especially for one with a Titan so moldable by our government. But she's got a lot of potential to help us complete our mission." He patted her on the head.
Did he have to do that? Annie rolled her eyes and took out another sweet. She made sure to slowly unwrap it in front of the boys, eying Reiner closely. Porco saw her and cackled.
“Aww, she’s showing off to you.”
“No she’s not!”
“Yes she is!”
While the boys kept bickering, Zeke slipped away into the streets, probably fed up with their childish antics. As for Annie, she happily indulged herself in something for once in her life. Life was not sweet, and there was an uncertain flavor of bitterness ahead, but for a moment, she could concentrate on something that made it worth it.