Archive of Our Own ^beta

Will closed his eyes, clutching his head while a powerful headache pulsed through his temple. The chair he had been given was uncomfortable at best, and it had a strong odor of dust and earth. The entire prison smelt similar actually; It reeked of grime, and Will took a mental note to shower when he returned home. Why hadn’t he turned back already? He had gone through such a boringly long screening, hours of paperwork, questioning, and pat downs. He had so many opportunities to change his mind, to walk out and not look back.

“Will Graham, you are ready to be seated now.” A female guard called out, speaking down at him in a firm state.

He rose from his chair, sighing out quietly. He gave an awkward smile to the guard (who did not return it) while she guided him down the concrete corridors. Will looked around the lifeless and lethargic prison walls and found himself wondering if Hannibal had regretted letting himself be caught. Memories of that day suddenly latched onto him, like fur that you couldn’t remove from a jacket no matter how long you spent plucking it out.

It had been an entire year since Hannibal had spoken those words to him.

“I want you to know where I am,” Hannibal had said, so alluringly, turning his gaze towards Will. “And where you can always find me.”

Even while surrounded by police, Hannibal’s expression was filled with hope. Had he known, even then, that Will would crawl back to him? That Will would miss him as much as he did? That every fucking thing reminded him of Hannibal?

The guard seated Will in an even more stiff chair, metal and squeaky. Due to the nature of Hannibal's crimes, the visitation was strictly no-contact. A strong glass barrier reflected Will even in the dim light, and a phone was placed on either side of the obstruction.

“Dr. Lecter will be out shortly.” She disclosed, and with Will’s confirmation, returned to her duty. More guards lined the walls, watching over the various guests and prisoners with varying degrees of boredom. Will accidentally made eye contact with one of them, and quickly returned to stare at the glass.

Maybe he was making a huge mistake. He was inviting some form of misery back into his life by just being here. He had told Hannibal that he never wanted to see him again, and he really meant it. Yet, he saw Hannibal in every single thing he did. He missed him, no matter what he said to himself, he missed him like he was grieving.

There was a loud scraping, and Will looked up to see Hannibal pulling the chair from under the desk between them. He picked up the black receiver, and admired Will with more expression than Will was sure he had ever seen on his face. Will, with slight hesitation, picked up the phone.

“Will,” Hannibal purred his name out, and they met each other's gaze. “You came.”

Will was caught off guard. He had almost expected Hannibal to be upset that he hadn’t visited sooner, and the informality was shocking.

“I’m... Sure you must have known I would.” Will replied, a small smile dimpled his face. He squinted, studying Hannibal’s expression.

“I admit that after a year, I had my doubts.” His voice was filled with such relief, like waking up from a nightmare. “I was worried about you, mylimasis.”

Hannibal’s voice was filled with so much joy it warmed Will up through their glass barrier. Will felt a deep ache in the pit of his stomach. Regret; for not allowing this warmth to come sooner. He felt his eyes start to water, threatening to cry.

“Worried for me?” he asked slowly, blinking back his tears. “While you’re behind bars?”

“Of course, Will. I always fear for your safety, more so now that I can’t watch over you.” He shifted the phone into a more comfortable position and reciprocated a soft smile.

Will was dangerously close to crying now. There was so much care, so much pining in just Hannibal’s voice, let alone his expression. But of course, his words would betray how he felt. “I think most people would agree that I'm safer now that you can’t watch over me.”

“Safety can be the protection of harm, but it can also be the management of recognized hazards for a reasonable degree of risk.” There was that stuck up bastard Will knew. “Tell me Will, do you believe I am a reasonable degree of risk to control other hazards in your life?”

Will shook his head, rolling his eyes, “I think I just remembered why I haven’t decided to visit you in a year.” He let out a small breath, as if trying to laugh.

“Why now, Will?” He tilted his head, and that look in Hannibal’s eye never left. He stared at Will as if he was reuniting with a long-lost lover.

“I don’t know.” This was partly true, he knew that he decided to visit because it was eating him from the inside out, but why on a random Friday afternoon? Was it just because he snapped under the weight of his own emotions?

A small frown parted Hannibal’s lips. Did he know Will wasn’t being entirely truthful? Of course he did, obviously Will. But he did not push it, he was always keen on letting Will fall into his grasp, rather than forcing him there.

“Well, I am blessed to see you here, Will. I have a premonition that we will be seeing each other more often, going forward?” His head tipped up, and Will knew he already knew the answer.

Will closed his eyes, pausing to think for a moment before opening them. He peered back up at Hannibal. “I suspect you’re correct.” He whispered serenely into the receiver, and Hannibal's face softened.

There was something new in Will voice, in his heart, he realized then. There was a similar stretching and pining to his words, as if each letter was trying to reach out and grasp onto Hannibal. He felt as though he was coming to know who he was; That he couldn’t deny any of his feelings any longer.

“About 5 more minutes.” Another guard came up behind Will, patting his shoulder roughly. Will nodded in substantiation, and the guard retreated. It hadn’t been that long, had it? He knew the visitation between them was shorter than other guests, but it still felt so painful, and Will didn’t want to return to his empty home.

“I didn’t get to hear what you’ve been doing while I’ve been gone.” Hannibal stated, in a voice that reflected Will’s thoughts. Will sighed.

“Next time, then?” Will expressed tenderly, though his voice faltered. It suddenly hit him that he had to leave Hannibal again, and his stomach dropped. He wanted to place himself here forever, on this stupid chair, just so he could hear Hannibal’s voice. He ached, and he felt his eyes swell with tears.

“We will both have something to look forward to.” Hannibal, always so calm, furrowed his brows and looked down at Will sympathetically. “I will be here, where you can always find me, Will.”

Will inhaled sharply, wiping his eyes. It wasn’t fair that everything he wanted was so close, yet impossible to reach. He wanted, oh so badly, to just hold onto Hannibal’s hand, or for him to caress his head, God, just something.

It was too much, every emotion Will had shoved down for years was suddenly resurging, scraping and clawing at him. He had so little time, and he didn’t know how to express all his thoughts, or what his thoughts even were. His voice trembled, shaky and uneven as tears trailed down his cheeks.

The guards walked behind them both, and Hannibal’s multiple guards had grabbed the phone from his hand and placed it into its slot. “Time to go.” The one behind Will commanded, as Hannibal was handcuffed.

Will found himself only able to glance between Hannibal and the floor. Hannibal’s face was awestruck, and a wide, affectionate smile spread across his face. Will wiped his eyes again and stood up, following the guard like a dog. He turned to look back at Hannibal, one last time before he left.

Hannibal eyes were raised softly, like in pain, or relief. He nodded slowly, and Will returned it, more words expressed in that moment than most of their conversation.