Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The bell rings.

His classmates were shouting.

The desks creak against the floor.

The mornings were always the same for Noel, he tried paying attention to his writing but was getting distracted over all his classmates yelling, instead he looked around to see what people were up to, the teacher took exactly three sips of coffee before his patience reached a limit and he started demanding silence in the classroom. One of his classmates was rapidly fidgeting with her pen, pushing the button up and down. Apparently, he was paying so much attention to that, that he couldn't see the rolled up paper flying straight at him, making the clearly guilty group of boys who did it laugh, and then acting like if it wasn't them. He just rolled his eyes, god he hated that place. 

"Okay.” Finally the teacher speaked up once he got the class to calm down. “Today we will start with the group project that i told all of you last class” He listed again all of the instructions for the work. 

God, seeing all of his classmates get into groups while he stays all alone. He now has to walk up to the teacher to ask to work alone so he doesn't have to work with the spawns of satan in his class. He clears his throat to grab his teacher's attention, but is interrupted by Ocean. 

“Teacher! The rules that you gave us were that we all should be in groups of four strictly, you can clearly see that I followed that” He points at her group consisted of Constance and two girls more that took advantage at the fact that Ocean did all the work herself, clearly she wanted more points for following the instructions “But, I can clearly see a group of seven over there” 

The teacher looked at her, he clearly wasn't paid enough to care about how many people were in a group, so he just said a small warning that they should follow what he said, none of the groups changed. 

"Ahem…. Teacher? Can I do my work alone?"

"Right now, I'm grading the team work, so you need to be in a group. Find one or I'll Find you one.” 

He went back to his seat clearly annoyed, looking around. Until one group of girls approached him, he already knew why they were heading there, he was never popular but everyone knew him (Well, everyone knew everyone in Uranium) because he was the gay kid. Most people either ignore or bully him, but some of them approach him because they want to have a ‘gay best friend’ and treat him like an accessory. 

"Noel, you are alone? You need to be in our group. We are deciding over making the project on Oscar Wilde or Jane Austen.” 

“I don't want to be in your grou-”

The girl started to talk about when they planned to hang out to work on the project, he saw some of them getting uncomfortable just by him being invited. He really didn't want to work with people who either find him disgusting or treat him like an object, he wasn't too keen on getting dehumanized by them.  

He tried to escape somehow, he saw around the room, he knew Ricky Potts from the choir he knew that he could approach him. 

"Oh! Ricky is calling me, I already made a group with him. "

He quickly goes next to Ricky who was in a group with Penny Lamb, receiving a confused look from his classmate. 

"For the love of god let me be in your group” He whispered, Ricky looked at the group of girls and back at him with a look of understanding, knowing that Noel couldn't understand sign language he just gave him a thumbs up. Then he sign something to Penny, she wasn't against Noel being in their group either, 

At least he made a group with people he already knew from choir, well knowing is an overstatement, in reality he knew almost next to nothing about them apart from their appearance and Penny singing. 

They splitted the work. Noel did what he needed. while Penny and Ricky talked. From time to time. Penny looked at him and tried to integrate him into the conversation, but it was kind of hard having to keep up with a conversation where he couldn't understand one of the parts. But it was nice of her to think of him. 

Finally, the bell rang once again. 

His classmates where leaving. He could stay a while just getting lost in his own thoughts, without being interrupted by the insufferable voices of his classmates. He was very appreciated of his alone time in that hell-hole he called school. 

—

Finally classes got to an end, he waited for all of the people in the classroom to leave before he did. Today, two girls stayed a while longer in the classroom because of finishing some homework or something, he had to look at his phone to not seem weird for waiting, he wont stop his routine, well more like a ritual now, just because of them. He waited, and when he saw the girls leaving the classroom quickly he could finally get out. 

He walked through the halls with firm steps, there weren't as many people at school by the time he got out, that what he liked of waiting he hated the loud noises so this was definitely more calm. He strolled past a group of guys and they started to talk in whispers, god, what were they saying about him now? Probably a ‘joke’ or rumor some person decided to spread, maybe some other guy decided to say that Noel was in love with him or something just because it makes it easier for people to make fun of him. Even so, if it was a rumor he will know by tomorrow, no one can keep a secret in Uranium. 

The walk to his house was very calm, he always pet the same stray black cat that laid on the sidewalk, that cat liked him more than his own cat at home. Noel always took the long way because it was the only way to get protected from the sun. He looked at his phone, apparently he was walking a lot quicker so he still had time to get to his house. 

He lived in an old small apartment that he shared with his mom, they couldn't afford to rent a house since his dad left so they had to move there. The stairs to get there always made a loud creaking noise when stepping on them. 

He said a small “hello” to his cat that was probably hiding and he went directly to his room, leaving his backpack on a chair and changing his clothes into something more comfortable, at least being alone meant that he didn't need to wear his binder. 

He grabbed his laptop and laid on his bed, once he turned it on it automatically heated up and the fan made such a loud noise because of how old that thing was, but he was now used to it. After waiting a while to get to use it, he went through blogs while having a movie on another tab, he already knew the whole script of it so he could do other stuff while watching it. He used his free time to relax, until the inevitable time of getting up and going to work comes. 

He despised his job, not only did he have to walk or take a bus to get to the mall, once he got there it was the worst part. Having to serve dumb customers: group of teens who all wanted to order together, but then can't divided the money and spent more time than needed if they only paid individually; parents who send their little children to order, as if a kid so young understood how money works; Old people who will complain by the littlest mistake in their food. Then, he hated the food there: the smell and the texture was unbearable for him, he got nauseous just by thinking about it. 

He knew his misery one day would get paid, he was saving his money to get the hell out of Uranium. Getting to France (his dream since he could recall), stepping into Europe, he knew for sure would solve all of his problems. Although that would take time, the salary of an underage employee at a fast-food restaurant was not good per se. 

Every day was the same in that horrible town: Go to school, after that either go to choir or to work, have dinner with his mother and sleep. His routine never changed. And because he wasn't a popular or even liked guy, he wasn't going out with a group of friends for at least a little bit of change, although even if he had a group there isn't anywhere fun to go. 

If he could, he would trade anything to be in one of the movies or novels he liked, at least their misery was easy to romanticize. 

Chapter Text

Noel's throat hurted from the singing, he had to sit down and search for his water bottle. He didn't actually know why he put so much effort into a choir that could lose against themselves, sometimes it felt like he was the only one taking it seriously (Obviously apart from Ocean, that girl always tried to stand out). Well, no one actually wanted to be there, so why would they put on effort? Constance only was dragged there because of being Oceans bff, Penny wanted to make friends, Ricky was also dragged by Ocean because she wanted it to seem more inclusive and accessible and he is stuck playing the fucking tambourine, and Mischa was there as a punishment. It's not like Noel also liked to be there, but after not being able to do theater because he ‘took many artistic liberties’ on the religious plays. And because of that he had to let out his love for the performance in another place. 

Maybe his efforts were to keep up his ongoing competition with Ocean, his greatest rival, his natural enemy, the antagonist in his story… Well, in reality, she was more close to Noel than he would actually like to admit, she was like his only friend, he wont ever admit out loud tho. His fights with ocean resemble more one of two siblings, more than people who actually despise each other, if you look at them from afar you would believe that tho. 

Or, maybe his efforts where because of that ukrainian guy, he felt like a little kid hoping that he would ever pay attention to him, he obviously looked like a straight guy and (apparently) he had a girlfriend, although from what he heard about it he doubted she was even real, but that doesn't change the fact that he liked girls if he was always talking to one. He had like zero opportunities with him. 

Or because he liked the attention, sometimes people would tell him that he had a talent for singing, and that made him feel noticed in a good way for once

—

His constant fight with Ocean kept going till the end of the practice, while he went to grab his things, she kept following and telling him stuff: giving criticizing to him (which annoy him to an extreme), but when they were going out of the classroom she started to ramble about what they can do for the next practice. It had to be approved by Father Marcus first, because he was the adult in charge that makes sure that the choir doesn't give a bad reputation to the school. Ocean always kept in line so her ideas were mostly all approved. Noel helped more in finalizing them, because if he came up with concepts almost, or more likely, none of them would be approved. 

The company of Ocean on his way to his house wasn't that bad as Noel would say it was, he liked to talk to someone, when they were alone they just said bitter comments to one another, but they could talk. If she was following him tho, it meant that Constance wasn't available for Ocean to escape to her house, and he knew how bad things were at Ocean’s, he wasn't going to be the asshole that lets the only person that talked to him be stuck in a crack house. 

“How is your novel going? Or did you procrastinate again?”

“For your information, I already started” 

“And, how much did you write?”

“... Just like 3 pages”

“Only that?” Ocean couldn't help but laugh “Noel, all my homework is way longer than that!”

Noel looked at her annoyed, and she rolled her eyes.

“Don't complain! You were the one to tell me a month ago that you would finish the first chapter”

“To write something of my liking is a difficult task” Noel reproached.

“Or maybe something else is in your head”

“What do you mean by that?” 

“All your attention seem to be on the foreigner, you keep looking at him instead of paying attention at practice”

“What?” He was shocked. “You seem to notice how much I look at some guy, but you can't notice when you sing out of tune?” He tried to change the subject at hand. 

“First off, I don't sing out of tune, you are the one that does that. Second of all. It’s so obvious! I had to remind you where you are because you are looking at him"

"For the love of god, I don't do that! And, i have like zero chance with him"

He rambled on and on about why Mischa would never pay attention to him, Noel always complained about Ocean talking way too much but now he was the one who couldn't keep his mouth shut. He talked about how someone like Mischa had a million and one reasons to not like Noel: He had to keep his reputation, he always talked to a girl meaning he had a girlfriend, which clearly means he is straight, he wouldn't even look at Noel, and he continued and continued on with his reasoning. Ocean noticed that none of the reasons were that Noel didn't like Mischa, it was why Mischa wouldn't like Noel, but even she who loves to argue doesn't want to keep a conversation with mr.drama himself, she prefers to change the subject on this. 

They talk about different stuff on their way: choir in general, the next competition, their classmates, how were they doing in school, what would they do in the future. The conversation hopped from topic to topic in a fast paced, till they got to where Noel lives.

"Want to come in?" He knew Ocean wouldn't deny the offer, so both of them entered the apartment. 

—

Noel's mother opened the door, and his son was watching TV, while Ocean was writing something on the table, now covered in papers and books. She was accustomed to getting back and seeing the girl, she was thankful that at least that meant that Noel wasn't alone at school and had someone to be his friend. Her worst fear was seeing her son isolated.

She asked how their day was: Noel, like always, just said that the day was normal like any other; while Ocean started to recall her day in full detail, since she woke up till she got there. Those two were so different, yet there was something so similar. After years of them being friends, it was still difficult to explain why those two hang out with each other, but they just did. 

When Ocean finished with her retelling, she looked at her phone, it was late and she had to go. Noel accompanied her down.

“Sadly, I will see you tomorrow” 

He stayed in the door for a little while after Ocean left, the cold of the night made him feel a weird sense of comfort. Sadly, he had to go back up, his mother was cooking dinner and until it was ready he could rest from the social interaction. He laid on his bed, and thought about what Ocean told him, how much he was looking at Mischa recently, it couldn't be that obvious, could it? Ocean sucked at reading the feelings of other people, so if she noticed, did anyone else catch up to that too?

Oh dear god, if Mischa himself notices he would absolutely dig up his own grave and hide there forever, die of embarrassment. What's that what the other guys were talking about when he passed in front of them? Not only did he like a guy, he liked somebody with a girlfriend. 

His thoughts were interrupted by his mother calling him to the dinner table, he sat down and looked at the food, half of it was freshly made, but the other half was reheated food from yesterday. His moms cat went out of hiding and started to meow, demanding for food. His mother talked to her like it was a person telling her that she couldn't eat from the table like the cat would understand. Meanwhile, he was just playing with his food, separating it with the fork. 

“Ocean said that you had an exam, did you do well?” She didn't care about Noel's grades, if he wasn't failing any class things were okay, but he wanted him to talk.

“It was easy” Noel kept his response as brief as he could.

“Do you feel okay? Did something happen at school today?” Noel looked up from his food and just shake his head “You know, if something happens you can always tell me” 

“I know” But he knew that in reality he couldn't.