Work Text:
Normally when you take a test you don't want to throw yourself into the sun, but this is an AP European History test, spoken about only during pity parties in the courtyard at lunch and usually by someone who's crying and being consoled by a friend. That should have deterred you from entering the class, but you've never been particularly good at listening to anyone.
And now you're fucked.
You don't even know what you should be writing down right now; you barely understand what the questions are asking you, and the ones you do understand, the answers are so long and convoluted that you can't string them together coherently enough to write them down. You're sweating so hard you'd probably be giving that kid Bertholdt a run for his money. The pencil is practically slipping from your hand.
You're about to give up completely and just start writing down bullshit answers and call it good, but your phone vibrates in your pocket and makes you jump a mile out of your seat. Trying to calm down, you slip it out under your desk as discreetly as possible, looking at your messages tab in multiple inconspicuous glances--if Mr. Ackerman sees you looking anywhere that's not your test even once, he's going to rip your balls off and make you write your answers in your own blood.
From: gay fieri
Time: 10:21
Message: kiss me mama
You're gonna scream, you're really gonna do it. Any other time you would have played along with your boyfriend's needs, sent an "oh yes bby" in response, maybe, but when you're busting your balls to finish the world's most difficult test, that's literally the worst time to exchange inside jokes. You hastily punch out a reply that conveys your level of annoyance.
To: gay fieri
Time: 10:24
Message: Eren i swear i'm going to come over there and kiss you with my fucking knuckles.
To: gay fieri
Time: 10:24
Message: Do you even realize what test we're taking right now?
To: gay fieri
Time: 10:25
Message: Do you realize what TEACHER we're with right now??
There's a snort from the desk behind you. In your hand, your phone vibrates again.
From: gay fieri
Time: 10:25
Message: damn just wanted to say hi
To: gay fieri
Time: 10:26
Message: Nice try love, you never "just want to say hi"
From: gay fieri
Time: 10:26
Message: you got me! but hey look at this i found it on tumblr yesterday
From: gay fieri
Time: 10:28
Picture Message: shrek_meme_47.png
You slap yourself in the face. Gently, though, because if Mr. Ackerman heard such a loud noise in the quietness of the classroom he'd gag you with your test so no one could hear your screams as he stabbed you with your own pencil.
Eren's like this on a daily basis, so you don't know why you still react the way you do, especially in environments where they could get you in serious trouble. Maybe some part of you hopes the meme loving fuck in him will somehow disappear one day and leave you with the Eren you met three months ago.
To: gay fieri
Time: 10:32
Message: That's it i'm breaking up with you.
From: gay fieri
Time: 10:33
Message: aw but babe!!
From: gay fieri
Time: 10:33
Picture Message: sad_pepe.png
To: gay fieri
Time: 10:34
Message: I HATE YOU I'M REBOUNDING TO MIKASA
From: gay fieri
Time: 10:36
Picture Message: tfw_no_gf.png
To: gay fieri
Time: 10:36
Message: FUCKING STOP IT
You don't know how he allows himself to do it while he's fully aware of whose class he's in, but Eren lets out some disgusting fucking noise from behind you before he can attempt to stifle it. It started out as another snort, but it turned into one of his gross (read: adorable) cackles, the kind he reserves for his own "meme genius" or your awful pickup lines. Judging by the current situation, it's because of his meme genius, but you can't worry about that right now. Mr. Ackerman's heard his uproar; he knows something is amiss in his perfect classroom.
The whole class sits ramrod straight as he inspects each of your faces. Both your hands are shaking, and you can feel your phone starting to fall from your fingers. After a tense silence it drops onto the carpet where the back flies off, letting the battery come loose and clatter against the leg of your desk. The noise is so atrociously loud that Mr. Ackerman pinpoints your seat out of the whole ocean of students.
You're gonna get fucking murdered, you know it.
Mr. Ackerman stands up from his chair and walks through the rows of neatly positioned desks until he comes up to yours, crouching to pick up your phone. You think that's the closest you've ever seen him in your life, and he's more intimidating than he is from afar. He walks back up the row to his podium, putting your phone back together and turning it on, and the whole classroom waits silently as he puts it under his projector.
"Let's see what Jean was up to instead of taking his test," Mr. Ackerman announces.
The screen flickers on and he goes to your messages, displaying your conversation (if it can be called that) with Eren to the whole class, ugly pictures of Pepe the Frog reminding you of how much you hate yourself right now. A handful of students snicker and he doesn't even give them any warnings.
"Ah," your teacher says, face displaying a level of disgust you never thought was humanly possible. "Memes."
Eren groans from behind and you can distinctly hear the sounds of multiple people's wheezing laughter around you. Mr. Ackerman slips your phone into his pocket, the classroom falling quiet once more, and he points to the door at the back of the room.
"Go sit in the hall," he instructs. "You and Eren both. I will not tolerate memes in my classroom."
You don't even bother trying to fix up your desk. You just leave it as is and stand up, elbowing Eren in the shoulder as you both head for the door, and sit against the wall criss-cross applesauce style like you're a problem child in elementary school. Eren plops down beside you and sighs.
"I didn't know memes could be so dangerous," he says exasperatedly, taking off his glasses to clean them on his shirt.
You roll your eyes. "Don't be so dramatic," you tell him. "You're the one who thought texting during class was a good idea."
"I was just stressed because the test was so hard! And besides, talking to you always makes me feel better."
You don't know whether or not you should feel annoyed because sending you memes is his way of relieving stress, or flattered because wow, boyfriend like you? The concept is difficult to comprehend, but you suppose if he's stuck with you even through your virtually unlikable personality and violent aversion to memes, his personal Holy Grail, then he does like you at least a little bit.
Grinning, you pull Eren closer to you so that his head is laying on your shoulder, and he doesn't complain. In fact, he snuggles closer to you and sighs contentedly. You guess that test really did have him in shambles; he seems pretty tired leaning on you.
"After school," you pipe up, "want to go to my house? We've got jelly beans and Mario Kart."
You can practically feel the roll of Eren's eyes. "And they say romance is dead!" he chuckles, giving you a kiss on the cheek. "That sounds perfect."
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence after that, only disturbed when Eren gets a text from Mr. Ackerman saying "Make up your test on your own time," but he's out like a light once he puts his phone away. A few people that walk through the hall stare at you oddly, so you kiss the top of Eren's head just to make them squirm. Unfortunately, that wakes him up.
"What was that?" he asks, grinning up at you.
"Nothing," you reply. Your red face betrays you.
"Aww, he actually does love me!" he laughs. He plants a huge kiss on your cheek and you groan, wiping it off, but you're really not all that angry. The two of you have hardly had any time to relax together lately, what with all the studying and complaining about AP Euro in general, so it's actually kind of nice to just...be.
You wrap your arms around Eren as a subtle way of saying "cuddle me, bitch," and he seems all to happy to oblige. "'Course I love you," you mutter, and then you're just enjoying each other's presence, savoring the comfortable silence. Well, until Eren brings up his phone again.
"Another text from Mr. Ackerman?" you grunt. You're kind of sour that your teacher is using your own phone to harass you, but you'll get it back sometime, so you're not super angry.
Eren shakes his head. "No, I got a really strange message," he says ominously. He hands you his phone. "Take a look..."
It's at this moment that you wish you hadn't taken his phone. You've been with him long enough to know that he will use any opportunity possible to bombard you with shitty memes, whether they're the notoriously popular ones or ones he's made on his own time. You think, truly, that trusting Eren is one of your biggest flaws.
me cuddling in the hallway: are you ever going to get sick of memes?
them: i think i'll love memes till i die, honestly.
me, aggressively smacking them with phone: i've gotta go right now immediately
You're honestly kind of taken aback. This is a new approach Eren has tried with his memes, and honestly, you have to say that you've been thoroughly sabotaged. You cast an unamused glare Eren's way, and the little shit is fucking giggling at you.
"I think this is the only meme of yours I can relate to," you say, flicking your boyfriend in the face with his phone. You don't know how you feel about reenacting a meme of all things, but for the sake of your sanity you ignore it. "I've gotta go right now, Eren. Immediately."
You push Eren off of you and stand up, walking away from him and Mr. Ackerman's room, fully prepared to call the police inform Principal Smith of his heinous meme crimes. In between his uncontrollable cackling, Eren yells for you to come back, but you keep walking.
Memes are the bane of your goddamn existence.