Chapter Text
Prologue
It is the first proper summer day in the year of our Lord 1972. A tall man walks on the streets of Montreal, hands in his pockets while he whistles a tune he woke up with. A new melody that welcomed him to a new day. Weirdly enough, it is not the whistling nor his attire screaming last season that makes heads turn as he walks by.
Kim Taehyung was nothing short of a paradox. He was a dreamer to a ridiculous extent, yet he was also known to be a lone wolf. The kind of man who wants to make his own path, not letting anything tie him down. In one moment he could act like the most charming casanova and in the next he would be all shy and innocent. He was an enigma and people were dying to find out the truth.
Of course, not everyone was infatuated with the man. Where there is admiration, there is envy and loathing. Snickering behind his back, rumours about him being spread from a drunken mouth to another.
Taehyung never addressed it. Either the warm hearted man did not notice—bless his soul—or he simply did not care enough to say anything.
If you, dear reader, are also curious about this person, you shall be the most pleased to know that you are reading a story of that very man, the one and only Kim Taehyung. It is also the story of his muse, and most importantly it is a story of their love.
—
You and I, a love song.
The café is quiet this time of the day, and Jeongguk does not know if he prefers the peaceful silence to the chatter of the busier hours. Should he choose the boredom that makes him so sleepy he could almost fall into slumber while standing, or rather the noisy customers and their gazes that always linger on him for too long. Not that it matters what he prefers; his boss decides the shifts for him.
Jeongguk did not want to work here. He was supposed to be studying astronomy right now. But as the nature of the work market started changing, his family had something of an economic crisis in their hands. Neither he nor his parents had the money to support his studies, and he had to drop out in order to start working.
As there are no customers at the moment, Jeongguk starts to sing to keep himself company. The song he sings is one that he had recently heard on the radio and had really enjoyed.
‘...And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see,
There will be an answer, let it be.’
Jeongguk’s gaze wanders around the café and once it turns to the door, he startles, closing his mouth shut. He was not alone. There is a man—a handsome one at that—standing by the door and he has surely just heard Jeongguk sing.
How embarrassing.
He gets surprised again when the man snaps out of his own astonishment and smiles, even claps for Jeongguk.
“You have a lovely voice,” the handsome stranger compliments, walking up at the counter.
Jeongguk can feel his cheeks burning and hopes the blush is not too visible.
"Thank you, sir. What would you like to order?"
The man thinks for a moment and Jeongguk sees how his eyes light up.
"Can I get another song?"
Jeongguk swears he feels the redness reaching the tips of his ears. He clears his throat, forcing himself to maintain eye contact because it would be rude to look away from a customer.
"No. I am sorry."
"What a bummer," the customer, if he really is one, says. Despite his words, the bright smile never wavers. “I’ll just have coffee then. Espresso?”
“Okay, just a moment” Jeongguk smiles politely, turning around and preparing the order.
The man pays and takes a seat on the table closest to the front. The café is still empty except for the two of them. Jeongguk looks at the man curiously as the latter eyes the coffee before taking a sip. The man makes a rather disgusted face and Jeongguk blinks.
“Oh dear,” he blurts, rounding the counter to get to the table. “Is there something wrong with it?”
“Ah, no! I was just…surprised! I’m not used to coffee, you see…” the man tries to explain, clearly embarrassed.
“Should I take it away and get you something else?” Jeongguk asks, gesturing to the cup. “Maybe a latte?”
“No, I couldn’t bother you like that. I’ll drink it, I will.”
The man hurries to raise the cup on his lips again and Jeongguk watches him struggle to keep his expression unaffected. To his surprise, the man drinks all of it in one go. Jeongguk counts to three in his head, and on three he sees the grimace. Jeongguk cannot help the giggles escaping him.
Jeongguk has not laughed in a while but God does it feel good. He only laughs harder when the man frowns at him, a touch of red on his cheeks. He should not be laughing at his customer like this but it is too late now. The other looks at him with something akin to amazement.
“Maybe coffee isn’t so bad after all…” the man mumbles.
“What?” Jeongguk asks, taking a moment to calm down.
“Nothing. May I know your name?”
I suppose there’s no harm in telling him.
“It’s Jeongguk.”
“So I was right! You’re Korean too,” the man exclaims, excited.
“Ah, yes… What is your name?”
“Taehyung. Kim Taehyung,” he says, sounding so proud that it makes Jeongguk a bit envious. Taehyung seems so innocent despite looking older than him.
“Nice to meet you, Taehyung.”
—
Jeongguk soon discovers that his favourite shifts are neither the quiet nor the busy ones. His favourite ones are whenever Taehyung comes by. Just seeing his face cheers Jeongguk up. When the café is more crowded, they do not talk much, but they still exchange glances and smiles all the while. And when the café is almost empty, save for a few elderly men with their newspapers, Taehyung stays at the front to talk with him, leaning on the counter. Sometimes he even stays there until closing time and Jeongguk has to stop him from trying to help him clean the place.
He has found out that Taehyung is a journalist and works for the local newspaper. Sometimes he would write in the café and let Jeongguk have a look, asking for his opinion.
Jeongguk does not learn about Taehyung only from the man himself but also from his other customers. Jeongguk had been away for his studies, unaware that the man had become the talk of the town. It comes as a surprise then that everyone seems to have heard Taehyung’s name. People even come up to him to ask about the other, some going as far as asking what he had ordered.
Despite all that interest being directed towards him, Taehyung does not seem to care that much about it. When Jeongguk tells him about one such instance, the older only shrugs and asks what else happened to him that day and if he would sing for him. And as always, Jeongguk declines the request.
—
It is one of those times when Taehyung stays in the café until everyone else has already left. Jeongguk quickly finishes cleaning so that he can sit down with him. They should both go home soon but instead they keep staying longer and longer each time.
“What time do you work tomorrow?” Taehyung asks.
“I actually have tomorrow off,” Jeongguk grins. As much as he likes seeing Taehyung, he really needed a day off.
“Oh, congrats. Then…can we meet somewhere?”
Jeongguk can barely believe what he heard. Taehyung wants to meet him outside of the café?
Wouldn’t that be inappropriate? No, Jeongguk, you and him are friends. Of course it wouldn’t be weird.
“You can say no,” Taehyung tries to assure. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”
“I do want to,” Jeongguk admits. “But where?”
Taehyung considers it for a while and then breaks into a warm smile.
“When have you last been to a movie theatre?”
It’s weird only if you make it weird, Jeongguk.
“It’s been some time,” he replies honestly, losing himself somewhere in those coffee-dark eyes.
—
Jeongguk has never been so equally nervous and excited at the same time. He is eager to see Taehyung somewhere that is not his own workplace, but he is also scared of what it might mean for their friendship. Most of all, what it would mean for the gentle warmth that has settled into Jeongguk’s chest…
He checks his appearance in the mirror for one last time. He had panicked a bit earlier when he had realised that Taehyung had only ever seen him in his work clothes. Jeongguk needs to give a good first impression, and he does not stop to think about why that is.
Jeongguk is early but Taehyung is even earlier, already waiting for him at the entrance. It is the first time Jeongguk sees him out in the sunlight, and somehow Taehyung looks even more handsome like this. Taehyung gives him and his clothes an appreciative look before flashing his signature smile.
“Had a good day so far?”
“Yeah. Slept in today.”
To tell the truth, Jeongguk has not done much else than just think about meeting Taehyung later. He did sleep in, but it was not intentional, and he panicked as soon as he saw what time it was.
“I hope you like the film. It was released this spring, and I heard it is the most popular film at the moment,” Taehyung says, sounding a little nervous himself.
“How come you have not seen it yet? I thought journalists need to keep up with the times,” Jeongguk teases.
“Maybe I was looking for someone to go watch it with me,” Taehyung suggests. Jeongguk laughs, feeling a bit shy.
The movie is unlike anything Jeongguk has ever seen. The setting is very interesting and he is rather invested in how the mafia works. Yet the protagonist’s unfaithfulness annoys him to no end. How could he move on from one woman to another like that?
“—and that is why men are awful. Now why are you laughing?” Jeongguk huffs.
“It was only a film yet you sound so offended. Also, we are men too.”
“But we are not like that. At least I hope you are not.”
“I’m not. I promise,” Taehyung says, seeming more solemn now. He is looking at his feet, and Jeongguk wants to know what he is thinking about and why he looks so troubled.
“So…what now?” Jeongguk asks. The sun had set while they were in the movie theatre, but it was still warm.
“I could walk you home?” Taehyung proposes.
“Wouldn’t that…wouldn’t that be weird?” Jeongguk says quietly, barely more than a whisper.
“Why?” Taehyung asks, face turned up towards the night sky.
“You know what I mean.”
“I can come up with more reasons why I should walk you home than reasons why I shouldn’t.”
Taehyung’s voice is so deep and he sounds so serious that it makes Jeongguk shiver.
“Tell me one.”
“Let’s see. If I walk you home, we get to talk more. Perhaps you can tell me more about your thoughts on the film. Or why men are awful.”
Taehyung winks and Jeongguk can not help but smile.
“That is an acceptable reason.”
—
Jeongguk does not know how he let it happen, but Taehyung walking him home became a regular occurrence. Whenever the two would stay at the café until late, Taehyung would walk him back.
Jeongguk was too weak to say no to him. Too weak to resist his own desires. He thinks he must be the biggest fool there is.
But no more. He should not give in again. He is comfortable like this. He can not let himself end up in a situation where he will start to yearn for more. Jeongguk already has it difficult enough as it is.
“You are free on Sundays, right?”
Jeongguk turns to Taehyung, handing him his cappuccino. Taehyung had become better at drinking coffee, but he still could not handle espressos.
“Yes, the café is closed.”
“Want to go somewhere?”
Jeongguk bites his bottom lip. He feels conflicted. He knows he wants to go, but he also knows it goes against the promise he had made himself. He should maintain a safe distance from Taehyung.
“I’m not sure.”
Taehyung’s smile drops and it pains Jeongguk a lot more than it should.
“Is it me?”
“No, just…you know,” Jeongguk pleads him to just understand.
“Do you want me to give you another reason?”
Maybe I do.
“I’m borrowing a car and we can drive out of town for a bit. Maybe it’s just me but sometimes I feel trapped here.”
The words make Jeongguk’s heart race. He swears he can see the hope in Taehyung’s eyes, begging him to say yes. And the truth is, Jeongguk cannot think of anything he would like more.
“I would love that.”
—
Taehyung picks him up early on Sunday morning. The car looks old, probably from the 50s, but it is so clean that it practically shines. But not as much as the smile on the driver’s face.
“Good morning, Jeongguk. It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?”
“Sure is,” the younger smiles, amused at how Taehyung makes a show out of opening the car door for him.
Jeongguk settles on the passenger's seat, holding a little basket on his lap.
“What's that?” Taehyung asks curiously while putting on his seat belt. “I told you the food is on me.”
“My mom wanted to bake us something. She was happy about me making a new friend. I’m already an adult but she still worries a lot. Even though she was supportive with my studies, I think a part of her is happy that I came back home…”
“That’s how mothers are,” Taehyung muses. “My mother was always worried about me too.”
“Was? Did something happen?”
“She died when I was still in my teens. Over ten years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Jeongguk says quietly and Taehyung sighs.
“Don’t be. I do miss her sometimes, but it’s already been so long. I’m just trying to live happily for her sake.”
“I’m sure she would have wanted that,” Jeongguk agrees.
They stay silent for a while before Taehyung points out something about a building they drive past, and soon the atmosphere inside the car is all lively again.
After an hour or so of driving north-east, they arrive at their destination. The park is pretty and peaceful. They have boats too and Jeongguk does not have it in him to refuse when Taehyung offers to row the boat.
“We should take turns,” Jeongguk proposes, carefully settling down in the boat after helping Taehyung get aboard too.
“It was my idea so I should be the one to row,” Taehyung says and quirks an eyebrow playfully.
“That barely makes sense.”
The weather was beautiful and the water calm. Jeongguk badly wishes he had a camera with him. He wants to capture the scenery, wants the memory to last. Maybe he would take a picture of Taehyung too.
“What might you be thinking about?” Taehyung hums.
Jeongguk looks down at the water’s surface, watching it ripple around them.
“It would be nice to have a camera right now, don’t you think?”
“I suppose so.”
Jeongguk turns and sees Taehyung looking at him with something unreadable swimming in his eyes.
“Why do you always ask me to sing for you?”
The question comes seemingly out of nowhere and even Jeongguk gets surprised at himself when the words leave his mouth.
“Isn’t it obvious? I really liked your voice so I want to hear it again. As simple as that.”
“And what happens after I grant your wish?”
Taehyung smiles so bright that it is almost blinding.
“Then I’ll ask you again. And again.”
Jeongguk blushes. He feels so warm that he thinks he might have absorbed all the heat of the sun. He takes a few breaths and sings.
‘It's impossible,
Tell the sun to leave the sky,
It's just impossible.
It's impossible,
Ask a baby not to cry,
It's just impossible…’
Taehyung has stopped rowing, all attention on Jeongguk. It makes Jeongguk feel powerful in a way, to be able to capture the attention of someone the whole town is curious about. He never thought he could sing so freely in front of someone, no longer shy.
‘Can I hold you closer to me
And not feel you goin' through me?
Split the second that I never think of you,
Oh, how impossible!’
Jeongguk closes his eyes, feeling the gentle wind play with his hair.
‘Can the ocean keep from rushin' to the shore?
It's just impossible.
If I had you, could I ever want for more?
It's just impossible.’
‘And tomorrow,
Should ya ask me for the world,
Somehow I'd get it.
I would sell my very soul and not regret it,
For to live without your love,
It's just impossible…’
—
Not many places are open on Sundays and Jeongguk is more than happy with having a picnic. He feels unusually light and cheerful, joking around and laughing heartily until his face hurts from smiling and laughing so much.
The food is good, especially the pie his mother had made. And the company is even better. Taehyung and he just…click. It feels natural, as if they were made to complete one another.
Eventually the day turns to night. The sun is already setting in the horizon as they start driving back. It is getting late, but Jeongguk does not want it to end yet. He gazes out of the window wistfully and sees the stars.
“Stop the car,” Jeongguk says on impulse. Taehyung obeys without questioning it, parking the car on the side of the road. Before he can say anything, Jeongguk has already jumped out of the car. Taehyung gets out too, following the younger.
“Look at the stars. There are so many,” Jeongguk gushes.
“There are. They’re beautiful.”
“Do we really have to go home? Can’t we stay here for a while?” Jeongguk asks—pleads—looking at Taehyung.
Taehyung who breaks into a toothy smile. Taehyung whose eyes are as dark as the night sky.
“How can anyone say no to you?”
Jeongguk and Taehyung lie down on the grass, gazing at the Moon and the stars. The entire day has felt like a dream and Jeongguk knows he will never forget it. His hand brushes against Taehyung’s and he lets it. The touch is subtle but it puts a smile on his face.
“If you weren’t a journalist, what would you like to be?”
There is a moment of silence before Taehyung answers.
“To tell you the truth, I never wanted to be a journalist. It might sound silly to you but I have always wanted to be a poet,” he confesses.
“That fits you, somehow.”
“What about you, Jeongguk? What do you want to be?”
Yours.
The thought is sudden and so loud that he cannot just brush it away. Jeongguk gulps.
“I don’t know. I used to study physics and astronomy but I don’t know if it’s really what I want to do,” Jeongguk says, and after a beat he continues, “I think I want to be like those stars.”
He hears Taehyung’s breath catch next to him.
“You want to be a star?”
Jeongguk nods. He wants to shine so brightly that Taehyung will not be able to look away.
“You can be,” Taehyung assures, turning on his side to face Jeongguk. The younger mirrors the movement, mesmerised at having Taehyung so close, staring into Jeongguk’s eyes so intensely. Taehyung caresses his cheek and he shivers. “I’ll help you become one. I promise.”
—