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On their first time, Yukito let Touya take the lead. It was partially because he was sure he would be OK with whatever his boyfriend wanted to do, but mostly because he didn’t really know much about sex. He was aware of the basics, of course, like what went where and the importance of using protection, the kind of things the school nurse lectured about. But he had no idea of how it was all supposed to happen. Once, he had tried to watch a porn movie, but he had found it silly and hilarious and there was no way that poor girl was comfortable in that position. He had stopped the film after ten minutes, and hadn’t really thought much more on the subject ever since.
He did want to have sex with Touya, though. Whenever his boyfriend touched or kissed him, it made him feel warm and agitated in a way he had never felt before. It was a nice sensation, and he wondered if he had the same effect on Touya. He wanted to, wished for nothing but to make him feel good and happy. He sought the promise of intimacy that sex offered, the idea of being connected on such an intimate level to the person he loved. Making love with Touya seemed wonderful, in contrast to the indifference he felt towards the abstract concept of sex.
So far, it was going remarkably well. They had cooked and eaten dinner together, watched a movie and were now on Yukito’s bed, half undress, enjoying each other’s bodies. Yukito wasn’t sure how long these things were normally supposed to take, but he guessed they were being quite slow, which was fine because he wasn’t in a hurry to finish. Touya’s body was warm and nice to the touch, and he smelled like fresh soap and mint. It was perfect, except for one tiny detail that was bothering him. He put an arm on Touya’s shoulder, making him incorporate slightly so Yukito could look at him in the eye.
“I’m sorry.”
Touya seemed confused for a second, and then casted him a worried look. “Why? Do you want to stop? If you do, that’s ok,”
“It’s not that,” Yukito interrupted, smiling reassuringly. “it’s just, this is an important moment and I would have liked to keep it between the two of us, but I’m afraid Yue sees everything I do.”
“And that’s why you’re apologizing?” Touya seemed amused, and only slightly exasperated. Yukito nodded.
“Shouldn’t I be the one apologizing, then? To Yue I mean,” he quickly added, noticing Yukito’s confusion. “after all, I’m about to give him a lot of embarrassing memories.” He left a trail of kisses down Yukito’s bare abdomen, getting lower with each one.
Yukito laughed earnestly and ruffled Touya’s hair, “I love you, Touya.”