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“Have you found it?” asked an excited Jungwoo from behind the phone, he was happy to participate in this little surprise that Doyoung had prepared for his boyfriend, Lee Taeyong, being his best friend, grateful that his childhood friend met such a gentle boy like him.
Their first anniversary had arrived and although Doyoung was not the kind of considerate guy who made an effort to spoil his partner, he had made an effort in this present. He knew that Taeyong loved CDs and for that he needed the advice of Jungwoo who knew him like the back of his hand.
“I don't think i'll be on time, job didn't let me leave on time, maybe it'll be closed by the time i get there” he sighed, feeling a burning sensation on the tip of his nose. Winter had made an appearance covering the depressive city of Seoul with a white and icy blanket of fine snow, forced to put on a large scarf and a jacket that reached his knees, he didn't complain, it was one of the reasons why he loved winter. He loved feeling imprisoned by the clothes that did their best to keep him warm "Maybe i should come back tomorrow..." he added giving up, the night shining over his head even with those lamps that dared to artificially illuminate those crowded and noisy streets.
“Nope! Tomorrow is your anniversary, you can't do it at the last moment” he complained and Doyoung rolled his eyes, resembling his voice to that of a small child who is denied a treat but he nodded and continued walking.
Luckily, right on the corner, a sign illuminated a small but modern CD store.
“It's still open, I'm going to hang up” he said quickly putting the phone in his pocket, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous, cause he was, he memorized the name of the band Jungwoo claimed Taeyong liked and together they made sure he didn't have the cd he was planning to buy.
He took in a large amount of air that froze his lungs and pushed open the door with the small sign on it, a bell rang above his head letting the inside know that someone had arrived but strangely he didn't notice anyone.
He poked his head over the mid-height shelves looking at the empty counter, no one.
“Is anyone there?” he called, suspicious of where he had decided to go, put his hands in his pockets and walked slowly, entering a corridor with CDs, perhaps the man had gone to the bathroom or gone out to smoke. He decided it would be easier for him to find the cd he was looking for and buy it instantly instead of having the man at the store look it up for him and perhaps spend an embarrassing time explaining.
He wasn't into chatting and he had to admit it, in that kind of place he didn't feel in his comfort zone at all. He looked at the shelves full of strange names, some even ridiculous in his opinion, none seemed to come close to what he was looking for, colorful covers, neutral covers, unintelligible calligraphy and some low-budget indie covers made with a free trial program.
He felt like he was in a library but with the difference that there wasn't a gram of literature around him or so he thought.
He turned the corner of a bookcase and was surprised to notice the hunched back of a guy arranging CDs on the lower shelves of a display case, he could only notice his short, dark blue hair.
He approached with some embarrassment, he couldn't just pretend that he hadn't seen him and continue with his search, but when he decided that perhaps silence was better than having a conversation with him, he was already touching his shoulder trying to be noticed.
The boy straightened up still with his back to him and in a quick glance he could see the amount of height that set them apart, apart from his broad shoulders covered by a baggy dark gray jacket, he was slim and his legs were really long under dark jeans, sneakers and black headphones that came down to rest on his neck.
“Oh, sorry i didn't hear you come in,” he smiled in a way that made him hesitate. Maybe he was good at reading minds or Doyoung was too obvious but his friendly expression drastically changed to an amused one "I was going to close the shop but i can serve you, sweetie" he snapped mentally slapping him, his strange accent making his foreign blood evident.
“Umh.. I…” for a moment he forgot why he had gone to the small record store “I was looking for the Spunk album… from…” great, he had forgotten, he was memorizing the name of that band as if it were his reason for living and just when he needed that name he completely forgot it.
“Sex pistols” answered quickly and with a confidence that made him smile the same way he did “Got it, come with me” he turned and walked through the aisles looking at the different modern display cases that surrounded them, the music in his headphones was so loud that he could almost hear it perfectly and he wasn't surprised that he didn't notice his presence with his headphones on.
It didn't take long for them to find the case with those shiny pink CDs, and he picked up one from the long line and handed it over with a smirk.
“Thank you” he murmured holding it with both hands, he looked curiously at that small cd.
“You have good taste, although it doesn't seem like your style” he was annoyed, he slightly knitted his black eyebrows and looked at him gracefully.
“Why do you suppose that's not my style?” he asked resting his hand on his hip and with the other raising the pink cd.
“Don't be mad pretty, i didn't mean to sound like an idiot, you just don't have that kind of look” he raised his hands in surrender.
“What look? And don't call me pretty, i didn't give you the right to say it” his lips formed a thin line. The American nodded and slowly approached him, forcing him to take small steps back.
“You don't have the look of someone looking for trouble or even has it” he felt small due to his height and the ease the foreigner had to make him feel intimidated, he hated it. He wasn't going to be intimidated, that was clear.
“They are silly stereotypes”
“But i was right”
“Of course not”
“So you're a wild boy?” he asked with a somewhat hoarse tone that made every hair on his body stand on end, he forced himself to separate when he perfectly felt the aroma of mint from his mouth crashing against his lips.
“Sell me the stupid cd” he took off turning in the direction of the counter, a small laugh left the American's lips who followed him, watching him carefully from behind, took his place behind the glass counter and wrapped the cd without erasing that childish smile from his face.
Doyoung rolled his eyes and looked quickly at the screen of his phone, he still had time to catch the last bus that was going home, he just hoped that the boy would attend him quickly.
"Gift?" he asked as he finished wrapping it.
"Does that even matter?" he questioned ironically, taking the wrapped CD between his hands and putting it into the small bag that hung from his arm.
"Maybe you wanted to put a bow on it" he shrugged "fifteen dollars"
"What? Don't you sell it in won?" his confused expression made the tallest laugh.
"It's a foreign store" he denied "Mmh… But maybe I can make an exception for you…" he looked at him thoughtfully making a similar pout with his lips. Doyoung rolled his eyes again, feeling that if he kept doing it his corneas would start to hurt.
"That's about nineteen thousand won..." he took out his wallet, extending the bills to him "And five hundred, keep the change" without looking at him he turned around and left that store, he was tired, he had a shitty day at work, he spent the whole afternoon looking for a record store that had that stupid cd and when he finally finds it he's served by an idiot, self-centered and gallant American.
He stumbled when he heard a voice behind him yelling at him, he turned quickly in the direction of the door of the store where the tall dark-haired man came out to hold him and pull him forcefully.
Their bodies brushed against each other without any personal space. Doyoung couldn't speak, his throat was closed by the anxious feeling that was fighting to be stronger than the pounding of his pounding heart, the boy was looking over his head at what was the sidewalk that to his surprise was closer than he imagined.
"Look where you're going, that car could've hit you" he complained, lowering his gaze to those dark slanted eyes, so bright with emotion, a small smile graced his voluminous lips "You dropped your id card, Kim Dongyoung" he broke away to extend the card to him, the named patted his pockets in amazement and quickly took it from his hands.
"Thanks, by the way it's just Doyoung" he muttered, returning it to his pocket.
"Okay Doyoung..." he smiled "oh, how rude, you won't ask my name" he pretended to be offended, Doyoung opened his mouth to complain but was quickly interrupted "My name is John Suh" he shoved his hands into his pockets nonchalantly and let the steam out of his mouth "just Johnny for you"
"Thanks, Johnny Suh" he trailed off emphasizing his name, his annoyed look hadn't disappeared but his cheeks had turned an adorable pink that made his nose button shine, the tip of his tongue slipped from his lips in a gesture that showed complete anger and he just turned his back ready to leave.
"Hope to see you again, Doyoung" he yelled behind him, the younger one shook his head but the emotion in his chest made him smile remembering how close he had been to him and he felt guilty for a moment remembering the purpose of his visit. He set about forgetting that incident and focusing on his boyfriend's reaction to receiving the gift.
His phone vibrated in his pocket, he quickly pulled it out, smiling at the name on the screen and the photo of a smiling pink-haired boy with a puppy on it. He answered and without erasing the smile from his face, he put the phone to his ear.
"Are you home, baby?" asked an adorable voice behind the line.
"I haven't arrived yet" he replied, denying even though he couldn't see it.
"I wanted to come see you, maybe i should wait until tomorrow" Doyoung raised his eyebrows slightly, reaching for his transportation card as he noticed the bus approaching.
"Why are you so interested in seeing me?"
"What could be better than kissing you all night as an anniversary gift?" he said playfully, Doyoung laughed and shook his head again for some reason looking behind him, he could still see the store from afar although now the lights that illuminated the shelves full of cds were off.
"You'd better learn to wait" he trailed off, imitating his seductive tone "i have to hang up, the bus is here"
"Okay baby, goodnight, bye" he said and hung up.
The trip was too long for his liking, he took his book out of his bag and began to read to kill the boredom until he got home, to tell the truth, reading was becoming impossible for him, it was annoying to remember the face of that boy Johnny smiling as if he could take the world by storm.
He was doing it, at least he had managed to turn his world upside down.
He denied, sighing tiredly, he needed another distraction, he tried to continue reading but all the little scenes kept him in mind, he took over his favorite character without asking for permission. His features, his figure, his exasperating expressions manifested in the figure of the main character making his cheeks burn, he felt dizzy and closed the book tightly before putting it back into the bag.
He jumped out of his seat as soon as he saw his house in the distance and quickly jumped down to the street, he searched in his pockets for the key, opening the door as soon as the lock made contact with it. Walking into his residence made him feel relaxed for some strange reason.
He lived in a small old house with a large oak door that was somewhat worn and with a strong smell of vanilla that hit him every time he was in front of it. He loved his house, he felt comfortable with what he had, it was really his style and whoever entered there would have his heart open for him because each little place had his essence.
Books scattered around the room and the occasional resting on the small island waiting to be picked up, in the corner of the room a humidifier with a floral fragrance from some unknown supplement that he bought, a small beige sofa with some embroidered petunias in front of the window that allowed the sun's rays to enter during the afternoon which facilitated his reading hours.
Everything was perfectly located, it didn't look full of things, much less empty. Everything simple and elegant as he was.
He spread out on the sofa, resting his feet on the wooden edge of the window and took out his phone, it was half past twelve at night.
He groaned when he noticed how long it had taken him to get that gift, he threw his head back, he couldn't get him out of his mind, as conceited as the people he hated the most.
He closed his eyes and shook his head, getting up from the sofa, the doorbell of his house rang, he frowned and approached opening the door, a smile escaped his lips when Taeyong's thin figure appeared in front of him.
The younger one wrapped his arms behind his neck and pulled him close, looking at him sweetly, his eyes never leaving his pink lips as they swayed into the house.
"Happy anniversary" he muttered, gently pressing his lips to the other's, Taeyong laughed and squeezed him by the waist, pulling his body closer until the space that separated them completely disappeared.
"Happy anniversary, baby" he whispered pulling away from his mouth "And my present?" a perfect wide smile came to his lips, Doyoung pressed his cheek and looked thoughtful.
"Here it is" he quickly separated and walked away from the door after closing it, he searched in the bag for that wrapped cd and held it out to him, Taeyong smiled more at the embarrassed expression on his boyfriend's face than at the gift he was giving him.
"You surprised me" he sat on the sofa and began to open that package, Doyoung felt excited, he kept watching him tear the paper that perfectly wrapped that cd. His smile faltered when he noticed the perfect expression on Taeyong and how embarrassed he looked at him from under his eyelashes "Shit baby, I just bought the cd this morning..." he confessed looking at him over his hands.
“God… I shouldn't have bought it, i mean, i though you might have it and…”
“Don't worry, i'll keep it, it's a great gift” he smiled, clutching the cd to his chest, but Doyoung ripped it from his hands and put it back inside the destroyed wrapper as his own trust.
"Never mind, i'll give it back and get another one instead" he put the cd down on the small table next to the sofa, Taeyong laughed and pulled him to him by pulling on his little black sweater.
"You're amazing" he forced him to sit on his lap, both legs at the sides of his body and his fingers tangling in the unruly strands of his hair.
"Don't buy another cd again, at least not until the end of the day" he complained with a pout on his lips, Taeyong nodded at his boyfriend's cuteness and melted his lips on his welcoming him to the long night that awaited them.
His hands trembled more than usual, clammy with nervous sweat, his tongue played on the inside of his cheek and he couldn't help but try to lose his sight on the shelves.
It was the weekend, with no working day he was able to go to the record store for noon and was amazed at how crowded the store could be during the day shift.
Other people's voices and murmurs resounded in the small space, footsteps, fingernails hitting CDs, children asking their parents or siblings questions, the cash register that never stopped ringing, the doorbell about to break from the number of times people went in and out of the store.
He wasn't in his comfort zone at all.
He got to the shelf he remembered visiting the night before, sure enough there was that sign with the name of the band, rummaging through the other shelves he got the album that Taeyong claimed he didn't have, he would have gone with his boyfriend but Jungwoo insisted that he needed him to help him look for one of the dogs he was in charge of and he apologized thousands of times to Doyoung for interrupting their anniversary, anyway, he had gotten the cd so he took it and walked at high speed towards the guy which luckily was already free.
"Morning, how can i help you?" asked a boy with orange hair, he was younger than the American but he also had that foreign accent, big dark eyes, contagious smile and fast moving hands.
"I…Yesterday i came for a cd but i decided to change it, here's the package" he took the cd out of his bag and put it in front of him "i'll take this one instead" and held out the new cd.
The boy nodded and looked at a list next to him "Would you please tell me your name?" he asked without taking his eyes off the form, his hands quickly began to unwrap the package.
"Kim Dongyoung…" he replied confused.
"Oh, Kim Doyoung, yep, Spunk by Sex Pistols…" he muttered now directing his gaze to the cd in his hands "Perfect, here's your change" he extended a couple of bills and then began to wrap the new cd.
"Thank you" seemed strange to him since the day before Johnny Suh hadn't asked for his name when paying for the cd, he still had it.
"May i ask you on a scale of 1-10 how well you were cared for?"
"Yesterday? Maybe 4…" he groaned, recalling the incident. The young man laughed and shook his head, putting a bow on the CD.
"Johnny is usually a bit annoying but he's not a bad guy, for real" he smiled confidently, Doyoung made a sound indicating that he understood him "by the way, i asked you how well i took care of you…" he added, the older one widened his eyes in surprise and nodded quickly.
"Oh sorry, really good. 10" he declared making the boy laugh, in a few seconds he already had the new cd in his hands and a beautiful handmade bow with ribbons on it.
"Thank you so much for coming, come back soon" said the little boy with a bow, Doyoung nodded and waved goodbye as he left the store.
The sun had made its appearance through the gray clouds that covered the sky and a few small rays of sun were enough to warm the cold bodies of the people who were walking down the street.
He walked away from the store with a certain emptiness taking over his stomach, perhaps he arrived too early, today wasn't his turn, there were thousands of reasons that justified his absence but a part of Doyoung hoped to meet him again.
He cursed, bumping into someone before reaching the end of the street, he looked up and automatically all his words stuck in his throat, even swallowing was difficult.
There he was, and to tell the truth, seeing him during the day was more impressive than seeing him at night. His somewhat long straight hair shone under the sun's rays that highlighted the blue pigments on it, his face illuminated by natural light looked perfect, glowing skin, pink and moist lips, dark eyes with just a little shadow underneath and again that minty breath that screamed to the Korean how dangerous it could be to be around him any longer.
"You came to see me, Kim Doyoung" he smirked, the aforementioned wanted to speak but found himself babbling incoherently, averting his gaze from the exotic American.
"I just… i came to change the cd…" he finished with full force. Johnny blinked in understanding and brought the cigarette he was playing between his fingers to his lips taking a deep drag. Doyoung sighed, and that sigh was so devastating to himself, as if he became transparent, fragile and vulnerable before him, enough to leave his cards face up on the table and his opponent was free to see his game as a well-written poem, the poem of a strange boy who refused to listen to his poor heart.
"You didn't come for me then? Too bad" he feigned a pout, bringing his face closer to show how hurt he was, of course it was a vile lie.
"Are you always this annoying?" he complained crossing his arms in front of him and taking a big step back. Johnny laughed and shook his head.
"I'm usually pretty cool, or so they say" he shrugged proudly. Doyoung seriously couldn't believe it, he was the complete opposite of Taeyong and therefore everything he hated, but a part of him screamed at his excessive attitude and daring, his heart was pounding and he was afraid of being betrayed by the screams under his chest.
"Congrats" he rolled his eyes and turned to end the conversation but Johnny had other plans and simply joined hands. Doyoung was definitely speechless, terrified looking at the clasped hands, a strange and terrifying freshness enveloped his burning body, he swallowed and looked at him, as carefree as ever.
"Let's go out" he said suddenly, pulling him towards him, they were walking at great speed among the people, the smoke from the cigarette in Johnny's mouth escaping from his face to hit that of the Korean who simply followed him. He never let go of his hand.
He was following a complete stranger with such confidence that he seemed dangerous, even more dangerous than a serial killer.
Night hadn't yet fallen, though the sky was beginning to show its deadly orange lights and the clouds were darkening as time passed. They arrived at a dimly lit bar, a young man with a beard in the shape of a padlock waited on them at the bar where they got two drinks after ordering them.
"You usually invite your clients to these bars?" he asked after taking a small sip of the drink that he identified as a screwdriver. Johnny laughed along with him and shook his head, looking at the track.
"Only to the pretty ones like you who need a bit of fun" he blurted out, bringing his face close to his ear, causing a violent electric shock in his body forcing him to maintain his balance no matter how strong the impact, Johnny stood in front of him and began to move to the rhythm of the music while he took a last sip from his glass "But... it's the first time this has happened to me, I'm a little nervous" he confessed, flattening his lips.
Doyoung leaning against the bar, looking so elegant and almost forbidden in Johnny's eyes, really wowed him and not just because of his haughty attitude during the cd shopping.
Johnny might seem like a jerk for being willing to socialize with strangers but that's who he was, he just went for what caught his eye and he did.
Falling in love by Cigarettes After Sex began to play in the background, the atmosphere was set and the superstitious American took it as a direct sign of fate, taking his thin pale hand with pink knuckles and tips, stretching it towards the dance floor.
"As if you had prepared all of this" Doyoung murmured feeling his hands mold to his hips leading him to the slow rhythm of the music.
"Well… I'm an expert at reading people" he lifted his chin proudly "i can tell you're not interested in noisy places with funky music and people approaching you to invite you to spend the night in a cheap hotel" he continued, looking him straight in the eye. Doyoung crossed his wrists behind his neck and after clearing his throat nodded.
"I thought i noticed a brochure for a cheap hotel in your wallet" the black-haired man scoffed, surprising Johnny with his sudden humor.
"I'll have to change my plans" the slow music devastated him because the more he looked at that tall boy with the big brown eyes the more he felt a prisoner of his heart, he was overwhelmed by the amount of feelings that decided to wrap him like the blanket with which they cover a newborn baby.
He swallowed and avoided his gaze when he noticed that the silence stopped becoming uncomfortable and tried to make way for something else, he excused himself with the fact that something had entered his eye but they were nothing more than lies and Johnny could well have noticed them. It made him laugh, he seemed cold and hostile but he was nothing more than a sensitive boy with a big shell that threatened to break.
He didn't hesitate for long, although it took him a few seconds to think if his next step would ruin the moment but he couldn't resist those pink and cracked lips, he slowly placed his hand behind his neck, pressing his face closer, he looked into his eyes looking for any sign of disgust or anger but he couldn't find it, only those shiny black eyes were looking at him and his lips had been drenched right in front of him.
Cherry, sweet cherry, he had no idea how soft and sweet his lips could be, those thin, long lips that moved slowly over hims, embarrassed by the act.
He opened his mouth slowly giving way to his playful tongue that entered without hesitation, he savored every part inside, they were so close that Doyoung's nose was pressed against his cheek, tickling him.
Johnny dared to open his eyes and he could see it then, big thick fans of tightly clenched lashes, ruddy cheeks that covered the undersides of his eyes, and furrowed brows that trembled on his forehead. He smiled over the kiss drawing the attention of the Korean who instantly widened his eyes and pulled away in embarrassment, wiping the saliva from his lips and looking around hoping not to be pointed at by accusing fingers complaining about his disgusting crime.
No one was looking at him. He felt calm again.
It wasn't until his phone vibrated in his back pocket that he realized the grievous damage he had caused, and then his heart began to pound with grief, his hands shaking as he turned on his phone screen and watched those innocent messages.
"Jungwoo is seriously in trouble"
"I'm sorry, baby. This won't be a real anniversary"
"What bad luck we have"
Although his eyes could have filled with tears because of how guilty he felt, at that moment they were focused on the American's fingers that slipped from the corner of his mouth helping him clean himself.
"Your lipstick ran" he sneered. His cheeks caught fire again.
"I have to… go" he started looking for the exit, Johnny raised his eyebrows in amazement and nodded softly.
"I understand" turned Doyoung's body towards the exit. The Korean smiled gratefully.
"Thank you" he whispered, opening his eyes in surprise when the American approached him to bid him farewell with a softly kiss, it was so sweet that a small smile threatened to twist his lips.
"Give me your number, i'll take you somewhere else later" he confessed, holding out his phone. Doyoung hesitated, a part of him that was still trying to stay morally correct was asking him not to take it and just storm off but he didn't because he was a heartless fool.
He took the phone and wrote his number quickly and then pressed it against Johnny's chest, he smirked, grabbed it and typed giving the contact a name.
"Okay, Doyoung, we'll see each other again" he assured smiling sideways, the Korean sighed and embarrassedly walked away, again feeling disgusting, garbage.
He knew he had sunk into that bottomless hole again, one that wouldn't be easy to get out of, and the truth was, maybe he didn't want to.
He felt guilty for cheating on Taeyong, of course he did, but Johnny gave him strange and helpless feelings that took control of his body like a fucking puppet.
And he realized it when he got home waiting for hours for some message that the boy decided to send, complaining when a message arrived and it was only from his own boyfriend.
"Sorry i ruined our anniversary, baby," he apologized, gently squeezing his cheek. Taeyong had appeared the other day with a large package of food to share lunch with his partner as an apology and of course, Doyoung accepted it, he was the most guilty at that moment.
"Don't worry, i was doing some shopping and i missed the day too…" Taeyong laughed at the lettuce that slowly went into his mouth, it looked like a real rabbit.
"I'll make it up to you, i promise"
"You don't have to, about that…" he said turning slowly to grab the bag that was hanging from the chair and remove the package from inside "i hope you didn't buy any cds while i was gone" he threatened before handing the gift to the boyish looking boy who smiled widely unwrapping the gift.
"You're the best, baby" he leaned across the table and kissed him in thanks. Doyoung nodded with a smile and continued with his meal "i also bought something for you... i forgot to give it to you last night" he took out a shiny gold necklace with a small beige pearl "i know you like simple things and it's what i love the most about you" he confessed getting up from the table to stand behind him and carefully fasten the necklace around his neck.
“Thank you, hyung” he smiled as he looked at the pendant in his hand.
The afternoon arrived quickly and after some cutey play on the bed, ending up exhausted, dirty and sticky with sweat, both decided to take a separate shower, assuring that the game would not end if they both went into the bathroom together.
The water rinsed every corner of his body and he smiled as he remembered the sweet expression of his half-naked boyfriend hugging him on the bed, thanking him for the thirteenth time for the gift he had given him.
He raised his head, letting the rain of crystalline water wet his hair completely, along with his eyelashes, and the quick drops ran down his jaw, losing themselves in the curve of his chest.
"Baby, a friend texted you" said Taeyong's voice from behind the door. Doyoung turned his head as he was led away from his calm and quiet shower.
"If it's Ten, tell him that tomorrow he has the evening shift" he raised his voice so that he could hear him over the water that was running in the small room.
"Nope, it's Johnny… new friend? He says he found another place to go and you'll have fun" his heart nearly pounded out of his chest and he was able to keep from drowning as the now violent waterfall choked him. He spat and opened the shower curtain even though the door was still closed.
"He's a new co-worker… i…" he muttered trying to explain.
"Baby i think you should go, lately you've been a little down from work, a little fun will do you good" so innocent it was heartbreaking to bear but he didn't speak and just took his advice "i understand it's hard for you to open up to new people but sometimes being friends with people who are different from you is good…"
He didn't finish speaking, Doyoung came out covering his waist with the towel. The warm drops of water still fell through his hair traveling from his clavicle until they were lost in the knot of the towel. He quickly took his phone and looked at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow.
"Why different?" he asked with some fear in his voice. Taeyong laughed and took the phone out of his hand to raise it up to his eyes.
"What are those weird emojis...?" he asked mockingly. Doyoung noticed them, two black glasses emojis and a festive one, very cute for such a tall and masculine man. He smiled as did his boyfriend who put his arm around him "go, it'll be fun" just when Doyoung was going to say something the pink haired boy went into the bathroom yelling "my turn"
He was good at choosing places, this time a disco, there were more people than in the other bar but the music was still quiet although something made to be shared on the floor with a little alcohol in the system and that was what they were doing.
Somehow Johnny managed to persuade him and make him feel freer, less uncomfortable, he had no other intentions than to open him up to the world in front of him and he would be lying if he said that he doesn't expected him to open up to him as well.
"Funny, isn't it?" he asked watching him take his fifth screwdriver "i don't think you should drink any more, you'll end up throwing up on me" the American mocked, Doyoung denied, of course he was good at drinking, it almost seemed offensive.
"Stop thinking you know me, you only kissed me once" he crossed his arms over his chest after setting his drink down on the bar.
"Oh, so that's the real reason you've been serious all night… You want another kiss? i'm touched" he smirked resting his elbow on the bar right next to him. Doyoung was amazed at the ease with which he flirted and turned to him.
"You're raving"
"Maybe i am... i couldn't stop looking at your pretty mouth since you got here, i'm glad you talked" he confessed against his ear, this time he was able to handle it, of course not the responses his body gave but at least he remained serious when his big hand landed on the side of his waist to turn him in his direction and face him.
"You're going too fast" he smiled defiantly.
"I'm afraid if i don't you'll lose interest in me"
"Interest?"
"Don't you have it?" his eyes shone brighter than the lights that surrounded them or so Johnny began to believe when the silence consumed them and he kept observing that sharp look that hid a boy who just at that moment could have fainted from the touch of his fingers on his lips "if you keep looking at me like that i…"
"Why don't you do it?" he questioned and his silence was the impulse that took away his shame to stretch and wet his lips with his saliva.
A smile, two touches, four steps, a car…
Their breaths were ragged with what had now become wild and clumsy kisses, clashing teeth, dancing tongues, sticky lips running down the neck, hands squeezing delicate areas into forbidden places.
They had easily managed to achieve a perfect and not at all annoying position in the American's car, the reclining seat gave him the full possibility of seeing Doyoung from that sensual point where the angle showed him the most beautiful thing he could have seen in his life. Writhing on him with each touch and the skin on his chest now bare, pale as a glass of milk and some pink pigments on his shoulders, chest and abdomen.
He looked at him longingly from below as his lips once again traced the wide path from his chest to his collarbones without taking his eyes off him. Embarrassed, again with their cheeks flushed and lips bulging in what appeared to be a pout, pants unbuttoned, loud music drowning out the loud moans coming from their mouths.
It wasn't difficult, it wasn't difficult at all, Doyoung moved slowly over the American as he put his slim hands to his toned pectorals, pushing himself to move with more force, hot and humid at the same time, dripping with sweat, feeling him touch that sensitive spot inside him that made his legs tremble, he took a breath, although it wasn't hard to take it, the pain was there.
Johnny repeatedly asked him if he could continue, always receiving an affirmation in response and kisses that closed his mouth.
It was fantastic and it seemed to have no end, the tallest loved seeing his slanted eyes tighten every time he felt at his limit, the speed of his hips increased and his desperate hands sought to dig into his shoulders.
Doyoung enjoyed hearing Johnny's gasps of satisfaction and as his hands kneaded his behind, losing themselves in the arch of his back to end up pressing him against him and joining their lips in a wet kiss, his hand went up forcefully to the nape of his neck desperate for the tight sensation and in a blink he had ripped the necklace from his neck. The jingle of metal crashing right into the windshield wiper. He didn't care at the time, busy enjoying the way he moved in and out of him.
He liked to hear him curse in english and call him "babe" in the most charming way possible while his words were lost in the kisses he deposited on him.
They both trembled as they felt the climax coming, pressing against each other, Doyoung's disheveled head resting on his sweaty chest that rose and fell as he caught his breath.
His lips kissed the tattoo that decorated his shoulder, he raised his gaze slightly and then found it, contemplating it with satisfaction.
That childish and playful smile soon appeared to dye his cheeks the strongest red, he bit his lip smiling to stop looking at him and lose his sight in the dark misted window.
"It's not a cheap hotel" he muttered hoarsely, still trying to compose himself. Doyoung smiled and nodded as he watched the stars witness his most impure act.
"Much better" and the smile on Johnny's lips widened, his hands that were caressing his upper back lowered squeezing him to his body as he propelled himself to sit behind the wheel with a surprised Doyoung on top of him.
"You look prettier after having sex…" and he kissed the tip of his nose tickling his stomach, his hands drummed on his shoulders observing him in silence, they both did, it wasn't an awkward silence, on the contrary.
It was a silence in which both dedicated themselves to examining the other, hoping to see some flash, some that would indicate the seriousness of the matter, some that would give them away, and on the other hand, they sought to record the other's face in case they were never to see each other again.
"Can you take me home?" Doyoung asked breaking the silence, showing his cards first, Johnny forced himself to keep up with him for fear of losing him. He nodded "you'll just take me, you won't go in and we won't continue having sex inside…" he confessed, observing the little details on his face "at least not for now…" he added, giving the older man great hope, who smiled and softly kissed the black-haired man's lips.
They both got dressed and settled in the car. Doyoung took the poor necklace and put it back on his neck, relieved because it had only come unfastened and not broken, watching him drive was a real visual delight, he almost didn't look at the street and sometimes he pretended to do so to continue seeing him through the reflection of the window. He wished that the trip wouldn't end and that for some reason they would have more time to be with each other, but when he least expected it they were already in front of the door of his house and the blue-haired boy was watching him expectantly.
"Have i made you fall in love yet?" he asked and his eyes shone with hope, Doyoung sighed and rolled his eyes, accompanying such an act with a smile, he gave him a short kiss that he didn't plan to lengthen like that when the older man held his cheeks, intensifying it enough for his tongue to play inside his mouth.
He separated with an ecstatic sigh, embarrassed by the groan that made the American laugh and he left with a bullet train from that car, saying goodbye with a simple wave of his hand.
He could only see him when he closed the door, he was still inside with one hand on the steering wheel and his eyes on him waiting to see him enter his house.
He closed the door smiling, a grimace that made his cheeks ache and his jaw tighten, another sigh and he already had his bare feet jumping childishly towards his precious sofa.
"Don't miss me too much"
Said the message that came to phone, Doyoung smiled biting his lip to avoid laughing, it didn't take him long to send a message in response.
"I won't"
He doesn't remember the number of times they met. Bars, museums, nightclubs, sometimes he would just visit him at the record store and enjoy watching him put those cds away, many of them ended up in wet and quick sex session somewhere they considered private.
Kissing at the bar, groping in the club bathroom and sex in the record store, they couldn't give their relationship a name because although some of their encounters ended in sex, most of them just wanted to spend time together, get to know each other and enjoy each other's company.
Of course Doyoung never told Johnny about Taeyong and it was hard for him to explain when the American saw them holding hands in a park on the way to work. As soon as he opened the store, he was ready to send him a message.
"Doyoung, we need to talk"
Short but intimidating and seeing him look at him sadly in front of him while he was looking for explanations disturbed him a bit, the last thing he wanted was to hurt him.
"I... i actually have a boyfriend..." his throat closed with each word "i'm sorry i cheated on you, I'm wasn't at my best..." he continued slowly caressing his hands seeking to give him the comfort he deserved "maybe this wasn't a good idea and i'm really sorry cause i lied to you" his eyes filled with tears in that coffee shop they had attended, he didn't mind making a scene and having everyone look at them contemptuously, he was devastated, he never thought he'd get there to feel that way but he was hurt by the situation and the guilt just confused him as the first tears fell down his cheeks "maybe we should… not see each other anymore…"
"No" he looked up, meeting those sincere eyes that didn't show even a hint of anger and then his heart broke "i don't want us to end this, Doyoung. It's ironic but i don't want to walk away, i don't want to lose what we have…" he swallowed and shook his head, clearing his mind "i don't mind if you have a boyfriend, it's not a big deal, i wouldn't mind sharing if it means i'll keep seeing you" he declared, wiping away the small tears that reflected his pain with the warm tips of his fingers, it wasn't an intelligent answer, it wasn't at all but he would do everything possible to be with him in any way.
"Are you serious?" he asked sniffling. Johnny nodded showing those nice little teeth.
"I'd do anything for you" and he leaned in with a noise as he pushed the cup off the table with his stomach, kissed his lips softly and returned to his seat.
The afternoon fell, losing itself in conversations and anecdotes accompanied by harmless jokes, where Doyoung confessed to having gone for an anniversary present and Johnny assured that he ended up in love with him, of course the youngest denied him that he was still guilty of what happened. p>
The following days the meetings became more frequent, trying to recompose what they had with fear of losing it.
Appointments, romantic encounters scheduled by the extrovert in the relationship, 80s movie nights proposed by Doyoung who was in charge of clarifying the American's doubts.
A date in a big arcade where his most cherished memory was learning to operate the static steering wheel of a racing game with the help of the blue-haired boy, he perfectly remembers how he leaned over him and placed his big hands on his helping him steer the car on the screen, his sonorous laugh crashing into his warm ear, his lips caressing his earlobe and how between laughs he saw fleetingly thanks to the reflection of the game screen how the tallest smiled sweetly watching him enjoy the crashes. It didn't matter to him that he was always in last place.
He enjoyed kissing his lips after seeing him beat the highest score in that game that consisted of hitting the hard blade of a machine, he was amazed by the force with which his fist hit that place, he hesitated as he hugged him from behind distributing kisses down his neck and shoulders.
The first time he let him go to his house, Johnny was delighted when he entered, feeling the smell of vanilla, claiming that this was how his body and hair smelled when after a night of sex they dedicated themselves to contemplating each other under the icy night, to Johnny liked to bury his nose in the black strands on his head and soak up his fragrance.
He looked like a child flipping through his books, arguing over his boring choices of literature and freaking out over the sheer number of philosophical books on his bookshelf.
“You should buy one of those book organizers, you can't have them scattered around your house, they could be ruined” he complained, picking up some books that were resting on the floor. Doyoung denied snatching them from his hands.
“Someday, now they are fine where they are” he put them back in their place making the older man laugh.
The American's fingers played with the locks of his head, getting completely lost in the brilliant night that could be seen through the window in front of both of them, his reflections like sweet memories of something that would not end, or so he thought.
Cruel fate had been playing with him, he began to find them more often and it hurt, God it really hurt, see him smiling the same way it did to him with that boy who was playing around him.
For some reason, once he saw him enter the record store, Doyoung wasn't with him and although he would've liked to treat him in a bad way, he was aware that he didn't deserve it. He had stolen his boyfriend, he was hurting him, it was selfish of him to even think of giving him a hard time out of jealousy. Smiling humming a Radiohead song while his fingers slid between the cds, Johnny just watched him seriously, he attending to the flirtatious girls talking to him, in the most disinterested way possible, focusing on that boy who was approaching with a cd that he had recognized as The Strokes.
“Damn he has great taste…” he muttered rolling his eyes, changing his serious face to a kind smile “Hi, i see you already chose”
“Yeah, this album is great!” he exclaimed handing it over. Johnny wrapped it up and that forced smile on his face again.
“It's thirteen dollars” the Korean extended his card and waited while the blue-haired boy did his work “Lee Taeyong”
“Yep, and you have a weird accent… American?”
“Bingo”
“That's great, you have a common name too? maybe Ben or Jake? he asked innocently.
“Johnny” said handing the card back to its owner.
Taeyong looked at him in amazement and nodded “My boyfriend has a friend whose name is also Johnny, maybe you know him too. That Doyoung…” the American smiled at how funny it was to hear "Doyoung" and "friend" in the same sentence and ignored how racist his comment might have been, his mind wandered to those dark, sharp eyes that had lately been looking at him with love.
“Thanks for your purchase” and he said goodbye squeezing the receipt in his hand as he watched him walk away with the phone to his ear, what bothered him the most was hearing him call him “baby” because he called Doyoung's number at that moment and the busy sign squeezed his heart. He was talking to him.
“Is something wrong, Johnny?” he asked noticing that for days he was quieter than usual, both of them in the storage room of the record store. Doyoung arrived by surprise willing to accompany him during his work hours, his life had been easier since he stopped working and focused completely on continuing his university studies but something in the atmosphere bothered him and of course it was the sudden distance from the American.
“Nothing just… Work” he wanted to avoid the conversation but it was impossible, his head was a complete chaos and seeing him so innocent sitting in front of him destroyed him “you know… it does…” he began doubting if it was a good idea to do it, just explode “it just so happens that it bothers me to see you with Taeyong and by God I've tried…” he threw the cds into the box alarming Doyoung who looked at him expectantly “i've tried not to let it affect me but it's annoying… i can't share you…”
“Johnny you know i can't break up with him, i don't want to either…”
“I know, i know damn it…!” he sat down hard on the chair, the black-haired man approached and hugged him, hiding his head in his abdomen "and i'm sorry i told you that i didn't care when it does, i care a lot..." then the sobs began and it could be said that the Doyoung's sobs overshadowed Johnny's "it hurts... i can't keep seeing that you're happy with him..." his scrawny hand caressed his head like a mother would caress a child.
“Maybe we should break up, Johnny…” he murmured in a small voice, he felt him move against him but he pressed his head preventing him from doing so, he couldn't bear to look into his eyes after those words “it was a bad idea to continue… i… i don't want to see you suffer…” he raised his head holding back the tears that begged to be released and licked his lips violently.
"So we should do that..." it was difficult for him to accept but they were the consequences that his actions had brought, he nodded moving away from his warm stomach that trembled from crying, he looked up meeting those crystallized eyes that pretended to be strong but they were broken like every part of his hard heart. He got up and smiled at him in the warmest way that only he could do, he put their lips together for the last time, savoring them, he took his time since it tasted perfectly, he wouldn't have the opportunity to do it again.
The cherry turned salty from his tears that fell like waterfalls, thin and warm lips, soft as a marshmallow and sometimes sweet as a caramel apple, held his cheeks, those that he loved to cradle with his hands, he liked to lean down to kissing him and feeling the tremor in his own shoulders as he tensed due to the bad position, it hurt him to know that discomfort would disappear like all those warm memories, their intertwined fingers squeezing each other, the tender looks that hid the most indecent thoughts, the short kisses before going to sleep and public caresses, complicit smiles, hopes and romance, everything would disappear turning to ashes between them, a long line of burned memories that would separate them completely, making them strangers.
And that's how it felt when Doyoung kissed his rough knuckles and slowly released his hand, hoping to regret it in the moment, to squeeze him harder and cling to his body for fear of losing him. However, that wasn't the case.
Doyoung didn't go back for him and Johnny didn't run after him.
Just strangers, again.
Two years later.
“You know, it was a good choice to leave everything behind and go live together” he smiled leaning over the shopping cart to kiss his nose sweetly, Doyoung laughed denying and putting a small book organizer inside the cart.
“To tell you the truth, i'm going to miss my home” he pouted making the older man laugh, who flattened his cheeks, pouting his lips to steal a little kiss from him.
“The good thing about having a new house is that we're going to be able to open it…” he started, raising his eyebrows playfully, Doyoung opened his mouth in surprise and looked around hoping no one had heard his cheeky comment.
“Lee Taeyong we're in a public place!” he scolded walking quickly while carrying his cart, the named one laughed and ran after his boyfriend who was leaving him in shame.
When they finished shopping they prepared to go to the parking to unload their purchases in the trunk of the car, a striking rhythm sounded, rhythmic and catchy, he remembered having heard it sometime.
“Taeyong… what is that song?” he asked pointing to the car stereo, the black-eyed boy nodded, closing the trunk door and slowly approached the driver's door.
“Selfless, it's a great song by The Strokes” he nodded getting into the car, Doyoung nodded in understanding “oh, Jungwoo is calling me” he declared still inside the car.
“Okay, i'll smoke before i go inside” Taeyong made an affirmative sound in his throat and answered his best friend's call.
He didn't notice when his feet began to drum on the ground to the rhythm of the music but it was nice, the smoke coming slowly from his lips, the wind taking every trace of it, that feeling again.
He wasn't going to rest until he remembered where he had heard that catchy melody from, he closed his eyes delving into his deepest memories but it was impossible, another puff and when he was going to expel the smoke it simply stuck in his throat recognizing the car passing right in front of him, the window down and a profile that he had seen so many times naked, his hair was a little longer and brown, some waves caught in a half ponytail and unruly locks that fell over his forehead, dark eyes that shone when he saw him, his stomach growled from the collection of butterflies that violently attacked his organs, a smile, just that, a nostalgic smile that reminded him of exactly everything.
That loud song that played in his black headphones while he walked in front of him, looking for that cd that would later give them the most precious memories of his life and that were just that, memories.
“You always showing up at the right time, Johnny Suh”