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Elliot’s eyes never leave hers as she makes her way toward him, and as soon as her hand is in his, he pulls her in close and whispers, just loud enough for her to hear, “ After all this time?”
~oOo~
“You know, Noah, he’s been reading Harry Potter, and he’s almost finished the last book.” Olivia turns to look at Elliot who is beside her in bed, not exactly hiding the fact he had been staring at her for the last twenty minutes or so. She had noticed early on of course but had decided against saying anything. In some way, unbeknownst to her, she decided she kind of liked it. She would kill him if he tried the same thing in public, but here in their own private part of the world, let him stare. Let him take her in. Let him appreciate their little part of the universe.
Elliot looks at her, a little skeptically, wondering where the conversation is headed since they usually don’t discuss the books Noah is reading unless she has concerns and needs input from one of his kids. He quickly runs his mental list of To Do’s through his head to see if there was something he had forgotten, but his mind was drawing a complete blank. He looks over at her, trying to gauge the look she’s giving him to see if it will spark some recollection of why she’s bringing it up now, but she’s giving him nothing. He scratches the back of his neck, “Liv, I’m not sure—”
She laughs at the confusion on Elliot’s face. “He and I have great conversations about the books he reads. I think I have a future English Major on my hands, well double major with dance.”
He looks over at her, and she smiles at him as she peers at him over the rim of her blue glasses, something in this conversation has clearly amused her, and it is completely lost on him. He pushes her glasses further up on her nose just to annoy her, to let her know he knows she finds something amusing about this, and he doesn’t get it. “Liv, I’m not really following where you are going with this.”
She huffs as she adjusts her glasses, and he knows she’s not really annoyed with him because she’s been telling him for weeks now, she needs to get that specific pair adjusted because they keep slipping down her nose. “Noah, he’s made a connection between someone and a character in the series.”
“Who?”
She adjusts herself on the bed and then glances at him with a twinkle in her eye. “You.”
“Me?”
“You know the character Professor Snape?”
“Vaguely,” he wracks his brain trying to remember. He had heard of the books of course and watched the movies at some point or another with his kids, but that had been a couple of years ago, and his memory was a little fuzzy. Kieran and Seamus were a bit young still, and Noah, well Noah was a self-proclaimed Potterhead. A name that had caused Bernie to almost need oxygen for how much she had laughed until Katie had hurriedly explained Noah hadn’t, in fact, declared himself as a pothead at twelve years old. Elliot grins at the memory, easily remembering the horrified expression that had crossed Olivia’s face during the whole ordeal.
Olivia sees the way he’s lost in some funny memory, so she runs her hand up his chest. “What’s so funny?”
He looks over at her, still wondering how they could, after all this time, still read each other like an open book. “Just thinking of that time Mama thought Noah called himself a pothead.” He chuckles at the horrified expression that crosses her face before they both bust out laughing.
“She still giggles every time she hears that word.” She grins. “Some kid said that in the store yesterday, and I almost had to drag her out because she was laughing so hard.”
Elliot wraps his arms around her waist. “She keeps life interesting.”
“That she does.” Olivia leans against his chest. “So do you remember who Professor Snape is?”
“He’s the potions guy, right?”
“Mm-hm.” She closes her eyes as he runs his hand through her hair. “Noah says you remind him of Snape.” Olivia turns the best she can to look back at him, trying her best to hide the smirk on her face.
Elliot shifts her so he can turn her around to face him. “Isn’t he the bad guy?”
“Sort of,” Olivia deadpans as Elliot narrows his eyes.
Elliot’s face falls for a split second. “He thinks—he thinks I’m a bad guy?”
Olivia chuckles then, the broken look on Elliot’s face making it hard to keep up the charade. “No, Elliot he doesn’t think you’re a bad guy.”
“Olivia, I don’t get it.”
She turns completely around to where she is facing him. “He says you remind him of Snape because you never, ever stopped loving his mom.”
“I— what?” He looks at her slightly dumbfounded, his brain still completely frozen and unable to process what she had said.
Olivia looks at the man who captured her heart years ago, and runs her hands up his cheeks and takes his face into her hands. “You, Elliot Stabler, never stopped loving his mom.” She pulls him in for a tender kiss, and then pulls back. “And I think I would have to agree with him.”
“I—” He takes her hands into his and holds them close. “He’s right. I do love you. I always have, maybe even when I shouldn’t have, but I’ve always loved you.” He places a tender kiss on the back of her hand. “I’m just not sure I understand how I’m Snape.”
Olivia laughs, and shakes her head. “We didn’t say you were Snape, just that you remind us of him because of something specific. Those are two totally different things.” She squeezes his hand. “Promise me something.”
“For you?” He grins at her. “Anything.”
“Just keep in mind what I just told you this Friday when we watch the movie.” She lay back against the pillow she had propped up against the headboard. “It’ll make more sense then.”
“This Friday?” He lays back too and turns his gaze toward her. “I thought he was only half way through the novel.”
“He’s a Potterhead, remember? He will probably have it finished by tomorrow afternoon.” She is pretty sure her son is curled up in bed right now reading with the flashlight she knows is hidden under his pillow: mysteriously, and unbeknownst to her son, that flashlight never seems to run out of batteries. She knows the escape books can provide from the realities of life. She places her glasses on the bedside table, and turns to face him. “And Elliot?”
“Hmm?” He turns over and allows her the space to curl up against his chest.
“After all this time, I love you,” she makes eye contact with him and quietly adds, “always.”
~oOo~
It is Friday night, and sure enough, Noah finished the last novel on Wednesday and barely can contain his excitement to watch the last two movies. He tried to bribe Olivia into letting him watch them that night once dance was canceled, but she didn’t relent, keeping that Friday nights are movie experience nights in the Benson Household.
“Benson-Stabler,” Noah had quickly corrected to the shock of both adults. Noah merely shrugged his shoulders after seeing the look on both of their faces. “What? He practically lives here now. When’s the last time he went back to Long Island City? He’s always here!”
“Does that bother you, Noah?” Olivia questioned her son, but Noah smiled around his bite of salmon. He took a second to swallow the bite he had in his mouth before responding.
“No,” Noah looked over at Elliot, “I like having him here. It’s nice, and he makes you really happy.”
Elliot looked over at Olivia then and saw her relax. “Good. I like having him here too.” She turned to look at him and smiled, letting him know that he was welcome to stay, for good. He had a home with her and her son.
Noah swallowed his next bite. “I was kind of wondering when he was going to move in, for good. Or when he was going to ask you to marry him. He’s always loved you. Uncle Fin, and Uncle Munch, and Grandpa Don told me.”
Elliot heard the second Olivia choked on her food and leaned around to pop her on the back. “Here drink some water.”
Olivia quickly recovered after taking a sip of water and a deep breath, “Noah—”
“Come on, Mom,” Noah rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me it's complicated. It’s really not. You two have always loved each other, that’s why I said he reminds me of—”
“Professor Snape,” Elliot filled in the blank for him.
“So, she did tell you,” Noah questioned almost embarrassed, “I told her she could, but I didn’t want you to think— You’re a good guy, Elliot.”
“It’s okay, Noah.” He leaned over and ruffled his hair. “I can’t say I understand the full reference, yet, but your mom says I will after we watch the movie.”
Noah smiled around his glass. “You will.” He then grinned and turned to his mom. “Which he could understand faster if we could watch the movie tonight instead of Friday.”
“Noah Benson,” Olivia narrowed her eyes at him, still not completely recovered from his earlier comments or sass, “after the way you just interrupted me and rolled your eyes, you will be lucky if you get movie night at all.”
“Yes, Mom. I’m sorry, but it’s true—” Noah stopped as Olivia cleared her throat. “I’ll do the dishes and clear the table.”
Elliot grins thinking back to that night as he and Noah waited for Olivia to return from the kitchen. They finished the first part of the movie, and he still isn’t sure why he and Snape are similar to each other. He looks up as he sees Olivia crossing back into the living room with the fresh bowl of popcorn. He lifts the edge of the blanket up giving Olivia room to snuggle back into his side after she passes the popcorn bowl over to Noah.
Noah takes the bowl and smiles up at his mom before tucking his body back into Elliot’s side. Elliot wraps his arms tighter around both of them, happy to finally be allowed to join them for Benson movie nights, Benson-Stabler movie nights now according to Noah.
Noah looks at him, before pressing play. “Pay attention to part two, okay? I’ll nudge you when it’s really time.”
Elliot nods and smiles at the boy before reaching into the bowl to take a bite of popcorn. Noah grins up at him and pushes the bowl closer to him, inviting him to take as much as he wants. Elliot relaxes a little and takes another handful, thinking back to what Olivia had told him about Noah loving to hog the popcorn bowl when it's extra hot and getting grouchy when he has to share. “Thank you.”
Noah looks at him with his blue eyes and nods toward his mother who is completely content wrapped up in Elliot’s arms and sharing the comforter they had stretched across the couch for the three of them. “No, thank you.”
Elliot pulls Noah in closer and kisses the top of his curls. “I love you, kid.”
~oOo~
Elliot watches the movie in silence, trying his best to keep up with what is going on and realizing maybe he should have done a quick review so he would understand more of what was going on. He just keeps waiting for Noah to nudge him, so he knows when he is supposed to pick up on the one part of the movie they really want him to understand.
He sees the character he knew to be Harry making his way into someone’s office, Dumbledore’s maybe , and that’s when Noah nudges his side from under the blanket.
“Pay attention, okay,” Noah whispers, “you will see Snape and Dumbledore talking. It’s in there. We can pause and explain after if you want.”
Elliot nods and sits up straighter and focuses in on the screen. He feels Olivia move slightly against his side as she sits up too.
“Expecto Patronum.”
Elliot sees the silver doe shoot out of Snape’s wand and prance around Dumbledore’s office. He still isn’t sure what exactly that means, really, or what he is supposed to understand.
“After all this time?”
He sees how Dumbledore watches the doe as understanding falls across his face. Elliot realizes he may not understand the significance of the doe, but he understands by Dumbledore’s reaction and words that Snape is revealing something big about his character.
“Always.”
Elliot’s breath catches in his throat at that one word, as his own understanding washes over him as he turns to look at Olivia. “ You never, ever stopped loving his mom. After all this time, I love you. Always.” He turns his gaze from her to Noah, who is looking at him expectantly. “ You two have always loved each other, that’s why I said he reminds me of Professor Snape. You’re a good guy, Elliot.”
He catches the movie being paused out of the corner of his eye, and he feels the blanket fall as both Bensons turn completely on the couch to look at him.
“Elliot?”
“Did you understand it?”
He turns to look at Olivia first. “I love you,” and then he turned to look at Noah, “and I love you.”
Noah pulls back first, and then quickly wraps his arms around Elliot’s neck in a fierce hug. “I love you too, Elliot. I’m really glad you’re not like Professor Snape in personality, but I am really glad you never, ever stopped loving my mom because I get to love you too.”
Elliot pulls Noah in close and drops a kiss into his curls. “And I’ll always love you too, bud.” He turns to look at Olivia, his eyes making her a promise to always love her, to always love her son, and to always be here, home where he belongs.
Olivia leans in and whispers. “I know. I believe you. I trust you. I love you too.” She plants a kiss on his lips before whispering in his ear, “And I have something to show you once he goes to bed.”
He nods and looks down at Noah. “Let’s finish the movie, okay?”
“Okay,” Noah hits play again, and Elliot feels him shifting on the couch to get comfortable. He smiles as Noah lays his head in his lap and pulls his arm tight around him. “Don’t let me fall off, okay?”
“Never.” He tightens his hold on Noah and looks over at Olivia. “Come here.” He lifts his other arm, and she snuggles up into his embrace.
~oOo~
As the credits roll across the screen, Elliot looks at the two people fast asleep in the safety of his embrace. Olivia is curled tightly into his side, her head on his shoulder, and Noah’s head still rests in his lap where the young boy has been slightly snoring for the past few minutes. Olivia’s hand is frozen in place from where she had been running her hands through Noah’s curls.
“Liv,” he leans over and places a soft kiss on her forehead, “I think it’s time for bed.”
She slowly wakes up and looks over at him. “He looks so peaceful. I hate to wake him.”
“I can carry him.” Elliot scoops Noah up into his arms, and Noah tightens his hold on Elliot’s neck. “I’ve got you, buddy.” Noah mumbles something in his sleep as Elliot carries him to his room.
Olivia follows close behind with her heart bursting with love for both of them. She watches as Elliot lays Noah down on his bed and softly kisses the top of his head. She watches as Elliot takes the time to pull the covers up tight around her son, somehow knowing exactly the way Noah prefers to be tucked into bed. She steps up behind Elliot, and kisses the top of Noah’s head, and whispers, “Sweet dreams, my love.”
She turns to look at Elliot who is watching her. “Thank you.”
Elliot shakes his head as he feels the tears beginning to form in his eyes. “Thank you for letting me be part of his life.” Elliot wraps his arms around her waist and lays his head on her shoulder. “Thank you for giving me a second chance.”
She relaxes into his hold. “Semper Fi, right?” She feels Elliot’s body stiffen before he turns her around.
“You did get it. I always—I wondered—”
“I have something to show you.” She turns toward the door and motions for him to follow her to the bedroom. He sits down on the bed as she ruffles around in her dresser before pulling out a red velvet box. “You see, when Noah told me about how you reminded him of Snape because you never stopped loving his mom, he didn’t really know just how special the word always really is.”
She places the red velvet box into his hand, and he opens it gently. “Olivia.” His breath catches in his throat as the golden semper fidelis medal glints in the soft light of the room.
“After you left, I was so broken and so angry with you because you just up and left without a word. It was like our partnership meant nothing.” She sits down on the bed next to him. “I was devasted, and then I was angry with myself for feeling that way because I didn’t really have a place to be angry, you weren’t mine.” She takes a breath and watches him open his mouth to speak. “Let me finish, okay.”
He nods and runs his thumb over the medallion.
“Then, one day after a long case, this arrived.” She points toward the medallion. “I was rude and mean to everyone.” She almost snorts. “I’m sure the squad called me many names behind my back; I wasn’t in a good place. I was so angry with you, with myself, with the world, maybe even with the universe. I felt like I lost my best friend and my home all in one. You were my home, Elliot. You were the only person who really saw me, who knew me, and—” She takes a deep breath, swiping the tears away. “Who loved me, for me. The longest relationship I’ve had with a man , remember?”
“I remember.” He turns so he can see her face. “Liv—”
She takes the box from his hand, ignoring her name. “This arrived with three words, Semper Fi – El. Always Faithful.” She takes the medallion out of the box and lets the delicate chain slide through her fingers. “I wore this as a necklace for months.”
He takes the chain from her fingers and runs his thumb over the medallion. “I sent this to you so you would know we would always be partners, that I could never forget you, that I could never stop loving you, Olivia.”
“Elliot,” she whispers.
He turns his eyes to meet hers as she lifts her hair, inviting him to clasp the necklace around her neck where it belongs. He leans over her, clasps the chain around her neck, and then kisses the medallion before letting it fall from his fingers, and he watches it land before kissing her. “Semper Fi, Olivia Benson.”
She kisses him back and smiles up at him. “The word always has been weaved throughout our story since we met.”
“What do you mean?”
She grins. “From the very first day we met on the job.”
He smiles as the memory comes flooding back to him.
“Elliot Stabler.” Elliot stuck his hand out for his new partner to shake.
She eyed him up and down quickly, before returning the handshake. “Olivia Benson.”
“Careful with that one Benson, he’s a real—”
Elliot turned quickly to Munch. “Shut it, John!”
Olivia laughed at the quick exchange. “Tired of him already?”
“Oh, you have no idea.” Elliot grinned as Olivia watched him throw a paper wad at John just as he took a sip of his coffee. “I’m glad you’re here, Benson.”
“Olivia.”
“Elliot.” He grinned. “I’ve got your back, always.”
“Always, huh?” Olivia grinned back at her new partner. Something was different with him, but she was yet to put her finger on it.
She saw the slight blush on his cheeks, before holding up his arm to reveal the Marine tattoo. “Semper Fi. It’s a Marine thing. Always faithful.”
Elliot leans over. “Did you know then?”
Olivia laughs before shaking her head. “Not really. I knew there was something different about you, but I didn’t know what.”
“I, uh,” he runs his hand across the back of his neck nervously, “I knew something was different too, but I didn’t know exactly what either.”
“I guess in some way,” Olivia pauses thinking of her next words carefully, “we were always meant to be.”
“In a parallel universe,” Elliot whispers, quickly catching on to what she means, “it will always be you and I.”
Olivia cringes slightly. “Will you promise me something?”
“Of course.”
She runs her thumb across her eyebrow nervously. “If you use that in our wedding vows, can you please correct the grammar error?”
She can feel the air shift in the room as her words sink in, and she knows things instantly changed between them. “It’s supposed to be you and me.”
Elliot glances over at her to see the smile playing across her lips. “Olivia Benson, is that a—?”
“No, it’s not.” Olivia laughs before grinning. “It’s just a, I’m ready , and if and when you happen to ask, I won’t say no.”
Elliot quickly glances over to the duffle bag sitting in the corner of the room, and he can almost feel the ring he had there staring back at him. He turns back to look at her, deciding tonight isn’t the time. He wants something special just for her.
“I love you, Olivia Benson.”
“After all this time?” Her brown eyes twinkle as she asks the question.
“Always.”
~oOo~
Olivia looks down at the small ring adorning her finger; the diamond catching the light of sun and twinkling.
“You ready?” Don questions as he steps up next to her and loops his arm in hers.
She nods and holds back the tears as the doors open and the music begins to play. She takes a deep breath and smiles as Don leads her and stops halfway to let Noah finish the walk with her down the aisle. She smiles at her son as he takes her hand and leads her toward Elliot. She looks up as they get closer, and the second their eyes meet, she no longer sees anyone else but him. She smiles at him, and she doesn’t miss the tears in his eyes.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Their eye contact never wavers as she and Noah make the way down the aisle. Once they reach the end, Noah leans toward her. “I love you, Mom. It’s time. Team Benson- Stabler .”
She runs her hand across his back. “I love you, baby.”
Noah smiles up at her, and then looks over at Elliot. “I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, Noah.”
Olivia’s heart melts at the exchange, and she does her best not cry. She never thought she would be here, in this moment with Elliot standing in front of her, waiting on her, wanting to marry her , loving her, but here they are, and it’s not a parallel universe. It’s this one, it’s this universe, it’s her life. She looks up as Elliot takes her hand in his before drawing her in close and whispering in her ear, “ After all this time?”
She smiles as she looks into his deep blue eyes. “ Always.”