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It had been a particularly rough month and a half for Sirius. Being all alone in his childhood home for the past month had not been easy. Spending his mornings, afternoons, and evenings all by himself was taking a toll on him. Thinking, longing of human contact throughout the day and never getting it; everything about it was driving him mad. He knew it was only to keep him out of harms way, but he couldn't help but feel lonely. He wanted someone, anyone from the Order, even Mrs. Weasley, for Merlin's sake, to come and keep him company, but no one came.
Drooping himself over the armrest of the musty, moth eaten couch had been the most entertaining thing he'd done that week. Watching his old childhood home upside down had been dizzying, but the only entertaining thing to do. He felt his head become warm with the blood rushing to it, and his long, grimy hair touch the even grimier floor.
With every step of his sock-covered foot to the floor, the old stained fir wood boards groaned beneath it. He missed his old flat on the other side of London, where the floors were sturdy and new, but that was 14 years ago. He'd be better off expecting his mum to come back to life than ever going back there again with the permission of Dumbledore.
Thoughts like these of his past tended to dance around his mind just for a moment or two before quickly leaping to the death of his bestest friends, Lily and James. He would then hurriedly find something to do, like cook for himself or clean, or find something to yell at Kreacher about.
But the nights, they were worst of all. Longs and sleepless, they were. Usually spent in the lounge off of the basement kitchen, he would pour himself a tall glass of 1418 Turnip Wine, aged richly. His favorite, but the more he drank it, the more his dislike and boredom grew for it.
One particular night, where Sirius had chugged half a bottle of fire whiskey along with his nightly glass of wine, he proceeded to double over the back of the couch only a few minutes later and vomit boiling hot wine. From that point on, he knew not to mix wine and fire whisky.
He suddenly awoke on the couch. His head felt split in two with a migraine. Reaching to his head instinctively, he also reached for his wand, muttering a quick charm to momentarily cure his headache.
Getting up and going to the kitchen, he makes breakfast. 'Bacon and eggs..' he decides, 'then I'll give the grease of the bacon to Kreacher.'
Finishing his breakfast and delivering a bag of grease to Kreacher's knotty nest, he droops over the arm of the couch again, thinking. 'What's Harry been up to?' He thought to himself. He couldn't write or talk to him through the Floo Network anymore, since both were being monitored by that apparent hag of a teacher, Umbridge.
He missed him, he thought. His dark hair, green eyes, and round glasses perched clumsily on his temples, looking just like James. 'To be able to see Harry again..' he smiled to himself, 'that alone would be a godsend.'
Suddenly, he noticed Kreacher creep past the entrance of the upstairs lounge sneakily with an opened letter in hand. Kreacher, noticing that he himself had been noticed, started sprinting as fast as his old knobby knees could take him, which wasn't fast at all.
Knowing that Kreacher never normally handled letters, he shot up from his spot, sprinting after the house elf. Getting close enough behind him, he grabbed him by his filthy old rag and shook him furiously, ragged yelps coming from the elf.
"You -- damned -- thief!" He bellowed, and as quickly as he snatched up the letter, he dropped it to the darkly stained wooden fir floor.
Hurling Kreacher to the other side of the hallway with all his might, he turned to the letter with a huge boom of the house elf landing harshly behind him. Taking a closer look, the letter even had his name scribbled on it. He hastily opened it.
Dear Siri,
Hey, how've you been? Actually, that was a rhetorical question, you probably shouldn't write back.
Anywho, I understand that you've been a smidge lonesome lately, so I've decided to send someone who has chosen to remain unnamed to give you a bit of company.
They're arriving tonight at about 9. They'll be officially off duty when they step through the door, so I suggest cooking up a bit of food for them since they'll probably be a bit hungry.
Oh, and I think they prefer chocolate liqueur more than any wine or whisky.
Lots of love,
Tonks
He was left confused by this suspicious letter. He knew it was from Tonks, telling from the humor and the scribble of the handwriting. Why didn't she tell him who was coming? Why was it such a big secret, and why did she deliberately send someone? She knew she didn't have to do that.
But then he paused. The only real question is, who is it? He thought. And thought just a little more. Chocolate liqueur... chocolate.. After a few moments, he gave up. He couldn't think of who for the life of him. Was he tired, or just really stupid? He figured both.
Sighing, he pocketed the letter (as he's been doing every time he's been getting letters for the past month and a half), rather than throwing it away. Receiving letters had been rare for Sirius lately, so he tended to cherish the ones that he received.
He made his way down to the basement kitchen and tried to gather supplies for a dinner from the pantry without getting bitten in the ankles by Kreacher. Gathering pots and pans, he cooked up quite a nice looking supper. Chicken drizzled in creamy mushroom sauce, along with a side of rich couscous.
He sat the plates down at the end of the long oak table that occupied the rest of the kitchen and sighed, hands on his hips, almost in triumph. He was proud of his effort and care poured into the meal.
Taking his "The Witch Is In!" apron off and hanging it back up, he sat down at the table, waiting for the sound of either the door bell, or the groan and whines of the old fir floor boards beneath feet.
He checked the clock on the wall: 8:43. Sighing, he rested his head on his hands and let his thoughts wander. He started combing through the members of the Order, and who would come at this time of night, in the middle of the week.
'Someone who has more free time than others..' he thought, 'and likes chocolate.." But he still wasn't coming up with anyone. Who could it be? He hoped desperately that it wasn't Snape or Mad-eye, but honestly, he would take anyone he could get. He'd do anything to spend time arguing with anyone else than Kreacher. Ah, but if it were someone he was fond with, like Minerva, or Arthur, or, perhaps Remus..
Remus!
Suddenly, his attention was snapped away from his realization by heavy footsteps coming down the spiral stairs. Sirius hastily shot up, making his way to the stairway. He must've not heard the oak floors.
"Remus?" He called, expecting anyone but him to call back in case he misunderstood, but the man called back, finally making his way down.
"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed, and pulled him into a hug, not even bothering to get all the way down the staircase. Sirius's face was pushed into his chest because of this, taking in the smell of the fresh air outside stuck to his tweed jacket. How he longed for the outside again.
"Oh, Sirius, that smells lovely.." Remus suddenly blurted, looking up at the two dinner plates, "You didn't make this all for me, did you?" He smiled, looking flattered.
"I did. I thought you'd be hungry, so I figured why not?" Sirius chuckled lowly, knowing perfectly well he was told he should probably cook.
"It smells fantastic," Remus said generously, taking off his tweed jacket and flopping it over the bench beside him.
"Well, I just used my mum's old recipe. Even though she was a git, she still cooked for me like a mum at times. This was one of my favorites." Sirius explained, taking a seat across from him while starting in on his food.
Remus, however, was already halfway through his meal, "Nu wanda 's yur faphhrit," Remus responded thickly, his cheeks bloated with food.
"Chew, Remus," Sirius smirked, his attention drawn to the man across from him instead of his food; he wasn't hungry anyways.
"I said-" Remus chewed quickly and swallowed, "No wonder it's your favorite, Sirius. You made this yourself?" He inquired as he shoveled more couscous into his mouth.
Sirius was taken aback, did he really like it that much?
"I mean, it wasn't Kreacher. Honestly though, I practiced and sacrificed a lot of chicken breasts and a considerable amount of couscous. I regret so much," Sirius chuckled heartily, causing Remus to snicker as well.
"I think it payed off considerably, it's very good. But do you remember practicing making home-made pasta with Lily?" He recalled rather suddenly, grinning.
Sirius had found that the room was somehow getting increasingly sweltering, but paid no mind.
"I do! Oh my god, I somehow managed to make the pasta way too sticky, didn't I? And then I tried to fix it to make it into a pizza, and-"
"-And you threw it up in the air," he was suppressing a laugh, tears pricking his eyes, "and it stuck to the fucking ceiling," He exclaimed as he shouted with laughter, bending over the side of his chair and squeezing his sides as Sirius cracked up with him.
"But- but it fell on James," he breathed, trying to catch his breath from laughing, "So only he had to write lines!"
They both roared with laughter again, Sirius's upper half sprawled out on the table weakly, his food barely touched, now getting cold, and Remus, finally sitting up straight with tears pricking his eyes and a clean plate. After a while, their heavy laughter died down to only small chuckles and exasperated sighs. Sirius sat up straight as well, arms resting on the table.
Sirius had settled down. He had missed them both dearly. Usually, he thought about them later in the night than this, but couldn't help but imagine Lily, in front of Harry's crib, begging for her life. Then James, behind You-Know-Who, his corpse limp and lifeless. It was all his fault. His fault they're dead, and that Harry never truly met his parents.
Apparently his expression showed anguish, and Remus spoke, almost like he was reading his mind, "It wasn't your fault, you know. There was no way you could've known. You trusted him. We all did, Sirius," He sympathized, reaching out and gently grabbing Sirius's hand, caressing it in his.
"I know, but I-" He was interrupted by the man across from him.
"There's no buts, Sirius. You did what you thought was right, to keep James and Lily safe." Remus gently squeezed his hand.
"But I didn't--" Sirius said, looking down, "I didn't do the right thing."
"You did what you thought was best, and what you thought was best was handing over their secret to Peter," Remus said, a bit louder this time, but not necessarily a shout, "It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you strategic, resourceful, cunning, even. In fact, I was quite impressed that you did it in the first place," Remus squeezed his hand tighter, and Sirius's ears reddened.
He didn't know what to say to that. The room was getting hotter, so much so that he was sweating now that Remus had grabbed his hand. He was definitely coming down with something, he reassured himself.
He looked closer to Remus's face. His eyes, brown, downturned and tired yet filled with emotion. His gaze trailed down to his lips, his Cupid's arrow topped my his neat mustache. Sirius ripped his gaze from the man to their hands wrapped around each other, his face a soft shade of pink.
"Are you alright?" Remus broke the silence. Sirius looked up, the man's face concerned.
"I- um," Sirius muttered nervously, "Yeah, I'm fine, just, um.." God, he couldn't stop stuttering , "I just think- do you think it's a bit hot in here?" He finally managed to spit out, chuckling lightly.
"Not really," Remus said, "You're the one wearing barely any layers. If anything, I should be blistering." He laughed, his soft wrinkles creasing with his grin.
Sirius never knew how beautiful one man could be.
He quickly shook his head, almost as if once being under a trance. What was he doing?
"Look, I'll make you a cuppa, you just sit. Take a moment to calm down, yeah?" Remus offered, already in the process of standing up.
Sirius's hand jumped to Remus's arm, gripping his dress shirt, "It's fine, Remus, I was only spacing out, that's all," he reassured Remus, but also himself too.
Remus reluctantly sat down again, "Are you really okay? You know you can talk to me," He sympathized, his pinky reaching for his hand again, almost sneakily.
"I'm fine!" Sirius insisted, eager to just move on from this topic, "I just.." he paused for just a moment, "Let's do something. Anything," he said suddenly.
"Well, what do you want to do?" Remus asked, folding his hands over the table.
"What if we, um..." Sirius paused, desperate, "dance! What if we dance? I've been dying for one, just no one to do it with, y'know?" He said, now standing and waving his forearms slightly in a small groove.
Remus laughed, getting up from his seat and walking around the table, "Sure, in here?"
"Oh no," Sirius shook his head, taking Remus's hand, "the living room'll do. Just help me move a few things."
Once they ascended the stairs up to the living area, they removed the coffee table and pushed aside the couches for room, leaving a small, dingy rug in the middle of the now mini ballroom.
Remus walked over to the dusty record player in the corner of the room that was in front of a shelf of records, some old and some new, "So, what'll it be?"
"Something from our old school days." Sirius said fondly, fixing his sort of crusty, old outfit. He didn't know why, but he was worried about what Remus thought of him lately. It was odd, since they've been friends since forever.
Breaking him from his thoughts, Remus picked an album, "A-ha!" He grinned as he pulled out a record, and he immediately recognized the cover.
" The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars ?" Sirius said, "David Bowie? God, that album was basically our entire time at Hogwarts," Sirius said fondly once again, the cover bringing back memories.
"Moonage Daydream first?" Remus suggested, and Sirius nodded. Gently dropping the needle, the song started with its usual abrupt electric guitar notes as they sang along to the intro of the song.
I'm an alligator
I'm a mama-papa comin' for you
They walked over to each other slowly, both men grinning. Remus opened his arms, and Sirius seemed to fit almost perfectly in them, taking his hands fondly and twirling. Sirius seemed to even feel perfect in them, like his heart was beating in unison with Remus's. His arms were wrapped around Sirius's waist.
I'm a space invader
I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for you
"Remus, I..." Sirius suddenly said, shuffling to the beat.
Keep your mouth shut
"I think that I.." He looked down. He was struggling to find the words for something unknown to him.
You're squawking like a pink monkey bird
And I'm bustin' up my brains for the words
"What is it?" Remus laughed lightly, "You look confused about something."
Keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe
"It's nothing," Sirius chuckled dryly, shaking his head.
Put your ray gun to my head
"You can tell me if something's worrying you, Sirius," Remus slid his hands to Sirius's and squeezed them more firmer than ever, yet they had a gentle touch about them. Remus looked into Sirius's eyes, almost as if he was trying to get a glimpse inside of them.
Press your space face close to mine, love
"I.." He croaked, instinctively gripping his hand in return.
"Sirius," Remus says firmly, yet calmly, still gazing into Sirius's eyes. He could see something, Sirius swore, he knew he could.
Don't fake it baby, lay the real thing on me..
With every second they gazed at one another, the more nearer their faces drew. Sirius could make out the small creases on his face where years of smiles were carved, little specks of brown in his green eyes...
Make me baby, make me know you really care
Sirius's breath was just slightly brushing Remus's lips like feathers...
Make me jump into the air
Their lips touched, soft and rough rubbing against each other, fingers digging into clothing.
Keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe
Put your ray gun to my head
Press your space face close to mine, love
Sirius swiped his tongue over Remus's lip for entrance, and Remus gladly let him in, letting his friend explore his mouth hungrily. A sense of longing filled Remus; a soft, sweet moan escaping his throat, driving Sirius positively mad.
Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!
The song continued as they made their way to the dusty, moth-eaten couch, all the while kissing one another. They plopped down onto the couch, breaking away. Sirius was so close to Remus he was almost atop him, but he didn't dare go any further without Remus's agreement.
"I didn't.." Sirius panted, parting from Remus and chuckling softly, "I didn't know how much I wanted that."
"I didn't know you did either," Remus grinned, his pinky sliding over to Sirius's, "I mean, I've been..." He paused, looking flustered, "talking about it lately. With Tonks."
It clicked within Sirius's mind.
He snickered heartily, his laugh sounding like a bark, "I see."
"It's stupid, I told her I didn't want her to send the letter, but she did so anyway."
"Well," Sirius smiled, looking over to the man beside him, "I'm glad you're here, Moony. I missed you."
Remus's face blossomed beautifully into a cute shade of pink as he grinned, "I missed you too, Padfoot. Back to snogging?"
"Why, of course!"
Their lips collided for the second time, this time in a more rough, dirty way. Their tongues twirled around one another; instead of fighting for dominance, enjoying each other. Remus's hand trailed down to Sirius's belt, pausing for a silent plea for consent, and greedily getting accepted by a soft grind.
Unbuckling his belt, Remus slid off the couch and onto his knees. He pulled Sirius's pants off, leaving him in his boxers with a very big, very obvious hard-on. Remus rubbed the bulge gently, making sure to go slow. Sirius whimpered under him, gripping the musty couch with each gentle rub.
Remus then, slowly but surely, pulled down his boxers, causing his dick to spring up. He stared, his own arousal stirring up inside him, ready to make him burst at any moment. Ever so gently taking his cock into his hands, he stroked.
Only, he didn't just stroke, he caressed. Remus looked directly into Sirius's eyes, handling him ever so delicately. He didn't just want to make him feel good, he wanted to make him feel loved.
He kissed his tip, making small ones all the way down to his base, licking his way up again with his tongue. Sirius full-on moaned, his hips bucking and dick twitching. Remus reached for Sirius's hand, interlocking them.
"God, Remus..." Sirius breathed, "Please, please.."
"Please what?" Remus smirked, acting clueless.
Sirius said nothing, and simply just tipped his head back and moaned loudly yet slowly, his Adam's Apple bobbing and dick quivering with anticipation. Remus took the message. He put his lips to Sirius's tip again, but instead of a kiss, he opened his mouth, licking circles around his tip.
Sirius gave a groan that rang through the old, rickety house as he squeezed Remus's hands and arched his back in ecstasy, "F-Fuck, Remus!" He cried, his name fading into a high-pitched moan that sounded almost nothing like Sirius's voice.
With that, Sirius came in Remus's mouth, the hot stuff going all the way to his uvula and leaking out of his mouth. Sirius immediately processed what he just did, and began to apologize profusely.
"Shit, I'm sorry--" he said, taking Remus's face in his hands and wiping his face with his sleeve, "I'm so sorry about that, are you alright?"
Remus simply laughed and shook his head, "No, no I'm fine," he said, touching Sirius's hand, "It tasted good."
Sirius's face reddened, glancing away only a little. His thumb rubbed on Remus's cheek delicately. He didn't quite know what to say to that, but he scrambled to find the words.
"W-well," he stuttered, clearly flustered, "thank you." Remus grinned and got off his knees, taking his seat from before next to Sirius.
There was a moment of comfortable silence before Remus put his arm around Sirius, and he's done this before many, many times, but only this time, they both knew it wasn't in a friendly way, but a more than friendly one. Sirius shifted into his touch, his hand sliding onto his thigh with the purest of intentions.
There was another silence. Sirius looked up at the man next to him.
He got lost in thought again. His nose, arched and curved at the tip just perfectly. Every delicate wrinkle lining his eyes, every soft freckle. Again, his Cupid's arrow on his top lip. Right there. He felt compelled to kiss him right then and there, but he restrained himself.
"Remus," Sirius broke the silence. His voice was soft and airy, "I'm in falling in love with you."
Remus blinked. His expression melted into a smile. His hand reached up to the nape of his neck and the other traveled to his chin, pulling him in where he merged him with yet another soft kiss, but this one had meaning; his lips sliding against the other's, heads nudging at each other, somehow trying to make the kiss deeper than it already was. God, it was exhilarating.
Once parting slowly, Remus spoke.
"I've been waiting to hear that for the longest time."