Chapter Text
"Drop it."
Atsumu flinches as he feels the barrel of a gun tap his forehead. He feels his fingertips tingle as the flash drive lays in his sweaty palm. Espionage, my ass.
"Long time, no see."
The man holding the gun to his head sneers, "Not long enough." The barrel’s cold and makes Atsumu want to cringe.
"You mean you aren't happy to see me?" Atsumu whines through his mask. He bats his eyelashes, feigning innocence, when really he’s eyeing his surroundings. He side-eyes the glass pane window he’s held up against.
I’m not fast enough to dodge the bullet and break the glass..
He flashes a wary glance at the villain in front of him.
Then again, I’m also being held at gunpoint.
The man in front of him is holding a gun connected to a large wiring of octopus-like arms also attached to a suit. It sounds intimidating, but really, he's just like an army warfare jellyfish. "Give me the drive."
Atsumu Miya hums as he leans against the glass pane window, "Say 'I missed you' and I'll think about it."
"Give me the drive and I'll think about not blowing a hole through your fucking skull." The Octopus-Man smacks him in the forehead with the gun. Atsumu groans.
"That's gonna bruise, are ya' serious?" He scans discreetly to find at least something he can use to hit him. “Right in the middle? People are gonna laugh at me now.”
Atsumu spots a bright red rolling desk chair. The type that reclines and weighs about seventy pounds or so. It could work, but it'd have to move at such a fast velocity that its force could--
“You think they would laugh at a dead man?” The Octopus Man sneers. His round goggles fog as a single curl suddenly emerges from underneath his helmet. Atsumu can’t help but snort.
He scowls, “Are you seriously laughing right now?”
Atsumu giggles. “I’m so sorry, but you are just too cute. You need to gel your hair down or somethin’.”
The Octopus Man, which is what Atsumu called him to his dismay, was about Atsumu’s height when he wasn’t floating in the air with his little tentacles. To be honest, he would be loads more intimidating if his suit didn’t look like a primary school science fair project. His goggles made him look geeky, and the curls sticking out of his aluminum helmet just looked childish.
The Octo-Guy’s ears turned red with anger, “You dare mock me? I’ll drill a hole right through that little brain of yours-“
”Whoa, there. Take me out to dinner first.” Atsumu pouted as he jokingly chuckled. “I’m just kidding. I only eat seafood, and well..” He looks him up and down, holding in another snort, “You know..”
”You’re not my type.” The man states in a matter-of-fact manner. It slightly offends Atsumu.
Atsumu shrugs. “Ah, it’s a shame." His eyes glisten in anticipation, "But y’know what they say.. There’s always other.. fish in the sea.” He breaks out into a cackle as tears form in his eyes.
”That’s two for two! I am on fire today, are-“
“That fucking does it.” The gun clicks once, “Three.” Atsumu’s eyes widen.
”Wow.”
The man’s gun clicks a second time. “Two.”
"Yer' not seriously counting, right?"
He gulps.
Atsumu clears his throat, "I've been wondering. Why do ya' use guns when you could just impale me with those sharp little toothpicks of yers'."
His eyes narrow as he slightly loosens his grip on the weapon.
Gotcha.
"Toothpicks?" The man gapes, "This is an advanced piece of technology that took centuries to develop. The amount of software I put just into the research of the neurological transmitter into the mechanical arm itself is no easy--"
It’s just too easy with this guy.
"Nerd." Atsumu coughs under his breath. He tries to shoot out web fluid from his wrist onto the chair, but it whines instead.
Fuck. It's jammed.
"Wha-? You're the nerd! You're dressed as a tacky American spider!"
Atsumu gasps. "Well you look like a crab on steroids!"
Once again Atsumu tries to shoot at the chair and only a single stupid stringy strand leaks out.
The man, in frustration, throws his little mechanical tentacles in the air, "I already told you, I'm not a fucking crab!"
Atsumu puts more force into this once, and finally something other than silly string shoots out.
Bingo.
Atsumu flings web fluid from his wrist, directing it to the chair. It quickly attaches, and as Atsumu tugs his arm toward him, the chair moves along with it. It dives toward him as Atsumu ducks. The glass pane window shatters as Atsumu grins up at the man wearing mechanical octopus legs as weapons.
"You just love to talk." Atsumu yawns, "Unfortunate for you, I'm not a great listener, so I'll just catch ya' later."
"Wha- Oh shit."
Atsumu gracefully lets go of the flash drive outside the window. To put the situation in context, the two are at the apex of a work office skyscraper, approximately 1,200 feet in the air. The man screeches in disdain and then stares down Atsumu.
"Fucking moron!" He squeezes the trigger.
BANG!
Just as the bullet races toward Atsumu's forehead, he flashes a grin toward the man. He sinks backward, out of the building, 1,200 feet in the air. The Octopus Man curses something else, but the air is pounding Atsumu's eardrums, so he couldn't be bothered to think about him.
What he was thinking about was how he was going to catch the drive falling at 150 mph and still save his dumbass.
Atsumu can feel the wind beating against his heartbeat as it only races quicker. Sky-diving had been on his bucket list, but so had meeting Jennifer Lawrence. He swore he busted an eardrum as he felt himself sink toward the concrete ground. First things first, though-
Atsumu squints his eyes downward as he tries to spot the tiny flash drive. "T.U.N.A?"
The software in his suit replies automatically. "Yes, Atsumu-san?"
"Activate that thing that helps me find stuff-!" He hurriedly yells. He can’t detect his own volume at this point.
"I'm sorry. I do not understand the command."
"T.U.N.A!"
"Yes, Atsumu-san?"
"Ya' really wanna be a smartass right now?!" Atsumu cries, realizing he's getting closer toward the ground and onto incoming traffic, meaning the flash drive is seconds away from getting destroyed. "The fuck is it called?!"
Why did technology always have to have such complicated names? It was hard enough just getting his professors’ names right-
"I'm sorry. I do not understand--"
Atsumu groans, rubbing his temples, "Shit, shit, shit!"
”I’m sorry. I do not understand—“
”I know!!” Atsumu screams as he starts flapping his arms like a bird in frustration. “It started with an L..?”
”Words that start with L. Lucid, leukemia, laryngotracheobronchitis, l-“
”I don’t wanna play Hangman right now!” He exclaims.
“Lens-“ T.U.N.A blurts.
Atsumu’s eyes brighten as the lightbulb finally clicks, “Lens! T.U.N.A, activate lens shifter!”
The suit beeps. "Activating lens shifter."
Luck was just on my side today, huh?
Atsumu's lens on his suit adjusts, and as he zooms in, he finally spots the storage device, just mere feet away from the commotion of the cars. He releases a web toward it hastily. With a single SCHWING! , the web attaches to the flash drive and retracts toward him.
"Gotcha!"
Atsumu uses his other arm and shoots another web string with his left wrist, aiming it at the top of a nearby building. He needed traction and rest time. Falling out of a 2,000 foot tall building has that effect. The web attaches onto the balcony and Atsumu quickly shifts his balance. As he swings onto the building, he holds the flash drive close to his heart. Being a superhero just drains the energy right out of you. If he had just continued to play volleyball, maybe all of this could have been avoided.
His story is simple.
When he was 16, Atsumu went on a hiking trip with his volleyball team. He hadn’t even wanted to join them in the first place, but the captain had mandated it, and who was Atsumu to rebel against his captain? What the team didn't realize, however, was the trail they were hiking on stood right next to a nuclear waste facility. That day, Atsumu had unknowingly picked up a spider who had consumed said radioactive waste, and was bitten. From that day forward, Atsumu had web fluid bursting out of his wrists, his sweat turned into adhesive, and his agility as well as speed doubled from what it was before. Mind you, he was already a superhuman athlete and one of the top volleyball setters in Japan.
After getting bitten, Atsumu adapted to his powers and decided to use them to help others. He quit volleyball and became Spider-man, a friendly masked hero who would always stand up for the little guy and protect the people of Tokyo.
Jeez, now's really not the time to think about my life's story.
Atsumu lands and immediately collapses. Breathing heavily, he pulls off his mask and examines the flash drive closely. He didn't get a good look at it before, but now, it just looked like a regular, stupid-looking piece of junk. Despite that, he was still tasked with taking it. Apparently, it held some sort of blueprints of some sort to build a kind of missile-- or portal, or bomb, something like that. He wasn't really kept up to date on the details portion of missions. All he usually did was listen to the man in the chair. Speaking of..
"Hey, T.U.N.A?"
"Yes, Atsumu-san?"
"Call Turd-licker." Atsumu sniffs, wiping his runny nose as he lay on the rooftop. Sitting up, he played with the flash-drive like a gift he had just opened on Christmas.
T.U.N.A immediately responded, "Calling Turd-licker."
The suit rings like a cellphone would, and after the third ring, a voice erupts angrily and drones in Atsumu's ear.
"What?"
Atsumu wrinkles his nose in disgust. "Don't 'what' me. I expect a cheery hello and 'how was yer' day?'."
'Turdlicker' loudly groans. "'Tsumu, what do ya' want? I'm taking a power nap."
"'Samu, you were taking a power nap when I left for class this morning."
Osamu Miya yawns as smacks his lips.
"Yeah, well today is my designated nap time. So make it quick before I track ya' down myself and kill you."
Osamu Miya was Atsumu's twin brother. Three minutes younger, which meant Atsumu was older (by far). When Atsumu had become Spider-man, it didn't take long for Osamu to find out. After Atsumu was bitten, it was like the neurological connection the two had formed when they were born grew a million times stronger, which meant Osamu's senses towards whatever Atsumu did grew stronger. They found this out when Atsumu was planning to fart in class, and Osamu was able to feel the vibrations exuding off of him and humiliated Atsumu in class.
From then on, Osamu took part in whatever mission Atsumu tasked himself with. He became the mastermind of all operations: the man in the chair.
Atsumu holds the flash drive in between his index and middle finger and grins. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head, stating, "Well, if it makes ya' feel any better, I got yer' little doo-hickey from Itachiyama Industries. Went in there and swiped it right outta their slimy little hands."
Atsumu senses a quick change in Osamu's attitude as his statement registers in his brain. Osamu chirps, "Ya' did? You got the drive?"
"You know it." Atsumu states proudly.
Osamu sniffs, trying to mask his excitement, "That's cool and all, but I think I've gone partially deaf this time 'cause of you."
"How bad was it today?" Atsumu winces.
From the other side of the device, Osamu shrugs, "I could definitely hear some web-slinging and my ears were super clogged. Some faint glass shattering, yada-yada. It wasn't terrible, but you totally woke me up."
”Sorry.” Atsumu mumbles, “I was falling down from a skyscraper.”
Osamu groans, “I told you to quit it with that! Take a cab or something.”
”But this time was important! Octo-Guy was chasin’ me!”
”Doc Ock was chasing ya’?” Osamu pauses. He often did this whenever he was in the process of connecting the dots. Atsumu found it annoying, as this was the only time he could never truly decipher what he was thinking, “Why would he want the drive too? Especially from a company as small as Itachiyama Industries..”
Atsumu shrugs, knowing damn well his brother can sense his confusion, “Beats me. Maybe he wanted to nuke someone too.”
”Were ya’ listening to anything I was saying yesterday? They’re lists of the components for particles, not a nuclear bomb.” Now Osamu was just as annoyed as he was.
”How could I remember when you took an hour-long power nap in the middle of yer' little science-y talk?!”
”Ya’ know I can’t control it, Asscrack!”
Osamu took naps as often as every few hours because of how tired he grew from sensing every little thing Atsumu did. Although he couldn't sense what specific action he was performing, Osamu could at the very least get a tingle at every major movement he made. Atsumu was the exact same, but because he was the one bitten, he easily adapted to the condition.
"What are you waiting for?! Bring it over! I gotta download it to my computer right now." Osamu urges, "I should run some tests while Rin's gone."
Atsumu nods. "Alright. I'll be over in.. some time."
"Where even are ya'?"
Good question.
Atsumu had randomly swung onto the nearest building he noticed, so he really had no clue as to where he was. "T.U.N.A, put Turdlicker on hold."
"You assho-"
"Putting Turdlicker on hold." T.U.N.A promptly replies.
Atsumu sighs in relief as Osamu's now angry voice tunes out. He looks out from the rooftop, spotting no familiar buildings or signs as to where he was. He figured he was approximately a block away from Itachiyama Industries, which was, what-- a five minute swing away from the dorms? So add that, multiply the sum by.. Oh, fuck it.
"T.U.N.A?"
"Yes, Atsumu-san?"
"Activate Google Maps."
"I'm sorry, but that application was deleted on August 7."
Atsumu's eyebrows furrow, "Shit. Why'd I delete it?"
"The application 'Google Maps' was deleted on August 7 and replaced with the application 'Cooking Mama'." T.U.N.A replies robotically.
'Samu, that stupid piece of shit.
He takes one more deep breath before quietly sighing in defeat. As he looks further toward his surroundings, Atsumu spots a boba shop right in front of the building he's on top of. 'Seijo-jo's Professional Tea'. A smirk slowly creeps onto his lips as he sucks in a breath.
"I am pretty parched.." Atsumu drones, rubbing his hands together. "Hey T.U.N.A, resume call with Turdlicker."
His suit beeps, and automatically Atsumu hears ranting.
"I knew I shouldn't have installed that stupid feature! You and yer' pride think yer' so high and mighty! Just wait until I get bitten by somethin' and then you'll see how-"
Atsumu rolls his eyes, "Change of plans. I'm gonna go buy boba. Ya' want something?"
Osamu immediately pauses. Everyone knew he could never say no to food.
"Yeah.."
"Brown sugar, extra ice, cheese foam on top?" Atsumu continues nonchalantly. He swiftly swings off the building and into the alleyway nearby.
"Make sure you add extra boba this time." Osamu squeaks. "'Cause last time ya' didn't and it was a waste of money. Oh, and when they put the brown sugar syrup, tell them to swirl it--"
"Yeah, yeah." Atsumu butts in, "I know what ya' want. Just pick me up after, 'kay?"
This is my way of getting a ride back since I don't know where the hell I am.
Osamu groans. "But I just got into bed!" When Atsumu doesn't reply, he adds, "I guess I do have a lecture soon.. Fine. Where's the shop?"
"Seijo-jo's Professional Tea."
"Wait, Seijo-jo's? That's literally right-"
Atsumu winces as Osamu begins to rant once more. "Okay, bye."
"Wait-!"
"T.U.N.A, hang up."
A beep is heard as Osamu's voice abruptly stops and Atsumu lets out a relieved sigh. He quickly glides out of his suit, tugging the tight spandex off his shoulders as he hides behind the trash can. He swears as a rat scampers by him and he almost loses his appetite. If he knew being a superhero meant wardrobe changes every five minutes, maybe he would've pursued a career in volleyball. As he finally gets the leg out, Atsumu scrunches the suit into a tight little ball. He reaches for his civilian clothes and then freezes.
"Ah, shit."
I forgot my clothes.
He reaches for his phone.
"Fuck."
I broke my phone while swinging around two months ago.
Karma's a bitch, and now Atsumu Miya was in his leopard-print skivvies in a bright alleyway across the street from Seijo-jo's Professional Tea.
He massages his temples as he tries to think of an alternative, but not one emerges. He could go back to wearing his suit, yes, but that takes ages, and someone was bound to see him struggling, especially at this time of day. It was hard enough taking it off . Atsumu looks around to find someone nearby, even a trash bag would do.
If I run super fast, maybe people won't see my face and I could bolt into the bathroom and stay there until 'Samu arrives. Yeah! That's a great idea!
Atsumu positions himself in a runner's stance toward the boba shop as if he's actually serious.
He loudly groans as he reverts back to his embarrassed state behind the trash can.
Moron! Why was I actually about to try that?
Atsumu shakes it off and nods to himself.
"I'll just stay here and wait. When I see 'Samu I'll just say somethin' like 'Psst', and call him over.. like a creep." Atsumu wanders off. "Better than the alternative. I'll just pass time and wait. Five hundreds bottle of beer on the wa-"
He freezes, hearing heavy footsteps coming from right outside the alleyway. Atsumu's breath hitches and his head becomes woozy as he waits for them to stop or at least get quieter. They don't, but instead get even louder.
Aw man, do I need to fight someone right now ? I'm one garment away from butt-naked.
As the footsteps suddenly stop, Atsumu takes a peek from the garbage can. When he looks, he sees a bag flying straight toward his face.
See, if it were a normal person, they would have probably been socked in the face. But Atsumu was a freak.
With ease, Atsumu quickly throws his arm in front of his face, catching the bag with his right hand. He frowns, squinting at it. It was a black garbage bag filled with something. He doesn't bother to look at who threw it. Instead he opens it and his eyes widen.
Inside are his clothes, straight from a hamper.
Atsumu furrows his eyebrows until the realization hits.
"No wonder I was gettin' a migraine." Atsumu scowls as he looks past the trash can. "How'd ya get here so quickly?"
He locks eyes with Osamu, who flashes him a tired smirk before shrugging with his hands in his pockets.
"You should be more aware of your surroundings, you know." He points up at the building above the boba shop. "Yer' dumbass probably already forgot our dorm's on top of a boba shop."
Atsumu follows his finger as his mouth forms into the shape of an 'o'. How long has that even been there?
I don't remember seeing a whole fucking boba café under our dorms.
"Wait, so that means--"
"Yes, idiot. Yer' on the school campus right now. In between the nursing and architecture lecture halls, actually." Osamu says, matter-of-factly. He yawns, "I knew you'd be somewhere in this area, so I just used the tracking device I installed in yer' suit to find you. Oh and--" He glances at the trash-bag full of clothes, "I looked at the stats from today's swing, and I saw the weight of the matter in the suit was lower than average, which meant you probably forgot yer' garments."
Atsumu scowls as he realizes his brother did, indeed, get the last laugh. He had no idea this was what the other side of the campus looked like. Atsumu never actually toured the campus, he just followed Osamu to whatever college he got accepted to and just winged it. He focused his life more toward Spider-man than he did as Atsumu Miya.
"Ya' don't need to act all cocky." Atsumu mutters, "And what was that about a tracker? You didn't tell me about that modification."
"It's for yer' own good. One day you'll get lost in the Amazon or somethin' and you'll be like 'Oh no, I wish 'Samu was here to save me. Wah, wah' and then I'll appear and save yer' ass. Why? 'Cause of the tracker."
Atsumu purses his lips in stubbornness, "I could just swing out of the Amazon, douchebag."
No matter how much Atsumu tried to deny it, Osamu was right. More often than not, Atsumu would get in trouble, and it'd always be his brother who would come to the rescue. With or without superpowers. It'd sometimes leave Atsumu to think, would it have been better if Osamu had been the one bitten and became Spider-man? Would he have done a better job than he has?
As Atsumu stands up, Osamu quickly shields his eyes.
"Gross, man. Ever heard of boxers?"
Atsumu strikes an exaggerated pose, "Ya' don't like the leopard spots?"
"Get outta here! Ugh!"
"These are yours, though.."
Osamu's jaw drops and his eyebrows raise in disbelief. Atsumu erupts in a cackle while Osamu gags. He turns around and his long, gray cardigan sweeps like a cape. Atsumu gasps as Osamu begins to walk away.
"Bye!"
"I'm just kidding! It was a joke!"
"Fuck you!"
"Aw, come on. Don't be like that! I'll buy you yer' boba." Atsumu struggles to put his clothes on as he follows after Osamu, who is already several feet ahead of him. He tucks his suit into the plastic bag.
Osamu yells, although it’s clearly not needed because of their condition, "Fine, but I want extra tapioca! And brown sugar!"
"'Course ya' do. Fatass." Atsumu sneers.
Osamu shoots him a glare as Atsumu runs after him.
"Wait up! Wanna tell me why you installed Cooking Mama in my software?”