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"When will you tell her?" Cole asked out of nowhere.
Solas looked up at the spirit, who was sitting on the scaffolding in the rotunda, legs dangling over the edge. It wasn't clear how long he'd been there. Solas had gotten used to the spirit's comings and goings, however, and was not surprised.
"Tell her what, my friend?" Solas asked, feigning ignorance. He turned back to the rune he was studying at his desk.
"The Wolf. The mission. The orb." Cole replied, his voice wistful. "She should know."
"No, she shouldn't." Solas said flatly. "It would hurt her too much." He sighed.
Cole disappeared from the scaffolding and reappeared crouching on Solas' desk. The elf huffed his annoyance and moved over so that he could continue his work.
"It will hurt her more in the end, if you don't tell her now." Cole said sadly. "Eventually you will have to leave, and she will think it's her fault."
Solas looked up from his work and glared at the spirit. "Don't you think I know that?" Solas asked, anger rising in his voice. "What would you have me do?"
Cole slipped into one of his trances. "Regret. Knew he shouldn't be with her but couldn't stay away. Tried to show her, tried to explain, dreaming in the Fade. Cruel. Letting her fall in love with a ghost. Happiness. Loving her despite himself. She makes him feel real, alive."
The metallic taste of blood hit Solas' tongue and he realized he had been biting the inside of his cheek. He reached for a glass of water to wash the taste out as the pain of Cole's words shot through him. He had never consciously thought about it, but Cole was right. He had tried to show her, when he met her in the Fade. As soon as she had kissed him, the need to tell the truth disappeared. He had fallen for her before he knew it; she had filled the small empty places inside himself.
"For all she has done, she deserves to know." Cole said, jostling Solas from his train of thought.
Solas groaned, closing his eyes and rubbing circles into his temples. "You're right. I have not been fair to her in this. But what if she can't handle the truth?"
"Her burdens have made her stronger. Determined. A soul like ironbark, never yielding. She makes her own strength." Cole said softly.
Solas began pacing around the room, arms tight behind his back. Of course she was strong, he had never doubted that. From the moment he saw her awake with the Mark on her hand, he knew she must have a will like steel to survive. Yet here he was, pretending that he couldn't tell her because she wouldn't be strong enough to handle it. Deep inside, he knew that wasn't the reason. What if she rejected him? Or worse, what if she tried to help him? He couldn't let her put herself in danger because of him, but he knew he might not be able to stop her if she made up her mind. He couldn't risk telling her the truth.
"Bitter like tea, but necessary. You will feel better if you tell her." Cole stated.
"You don't know what you're talking about!" Solas shouted.
Cole shrank back, wrapping his arms around himself. "Fear. Not of hurting her, but of her hating him. Selfish. Wanting to lose himself in her embrace before he has to say goodbye. She loves Solas, not Fen'Harel."
The elf paused, taking a deep breath and reflecting on Cole's words. What if he just forgot everything? Left his mission behind to be with her? The temptation was strong, his heart pulling against his duty.
"What would I be, if I gave up my mission and lost myself in her?" Solas asked, his voice quiet.
"A person." Cole replied. "A person who fell in love."