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5 years later, the war is going on all around them, and now they’re trying to get back at the empire. It’s been a few days since the battle of Gronder Field, yet he can still see it all clearly. The way the girl went to attack Dimitri, the way his father went in front of him and took the hit, and the way that he wasn’t able to do anything as his father breathed his last breath. Felix, without knowing how much this would take a toll on him, is yet again at the training grounds going at it. He hasn’t been sleeping well, so many thoughts plague his mind about how he could’ve done something or how the time he spent with his father would have meant more to him if he knew something like this was going to happen. He hasn’t been meeting up with the rest of the blue lions since that day and some of them have started to notice his change in behavior and asking him to come out of training or out of his room to at least eat, and yet he doesn’t bother to.
Someone has started to take notice and he doesn't like what he sees from someone he has known since they were kids. Sylvain immediately took notice of the changes in his best friend and lover. He knew something was wrong and wanted nothing more than to be the one to help him with what he was going through. He knew exactly what he felt by losing a family member, and Felix happened to be there listening to everything he had to say when he lost his brother 5 years ago, so right now he wants nothing more than to be there for him as well.
As he is making his way over to his room, since seeing as the training grounds were empty, he is thinking of what to say, if Felix were to even let him in. Felix happened to try to face such hardship alone, yet Sylvain was trying to be the one he can lean on and come to in times of troubles, although little by little he is getting better at it, he went back to trying to deal with this himself since his father passed.
Lost in thought he didn’t realize that he was already at his boyfriend’s door, he knocks a few times then hears nothing, and he tries again. All he receives is a muffled “go away,” which he figured would happen.
Knocking again, “Felix it’s me, please let me in, I want to know how you’re doing.” He knows how desperate he must sound to Felix, but at this point he is and he wants nothing more than to help him.
“Please Felix, talk to me or let me at least try to help.”
After a while of standing there he hears some very light footsteps and the creaking of the floor and the door opens a little, he doesn’t see Felix yet as he is behind the door. Sylvain makes his way to sit down on the chair at his desk as Felix shuffles back to his bed and lays down facing the wall. He is hurt that his own boyfriend won’t face him, but he understands that he doesn’t want to let Sylvain see him this way.
Felix not wanting Sylvain to see him this sad or this vulnerable was not letting him see his face which he knew was red and puffy from all the crying he has done today. It’s not that he doesn’t allow his own lover to see this side of him, but he just feels very weak if he does and that’s a feeling that has been plaguing him for far too long.
“Felix you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to, but I can imagine the pain you’re going through and I want to be here for you like you were for me 5 years ago when I lost my brother. I know how you felt about your father, but I know he is very proud of you and always will be.”
The room grew quiet and then suddenly he heard a sniffle. He slowly makes his way over and sits near him and starts rubbing his back. He doesn’t get too close incase that isn’t what he wants but just to let him know without words that it’s okay to cry, to let it out and that he is here for him.
What he didn’t expect was for Felix to turn around and start holding onto him and sobbing so hard that even he felt it. He holds him and pats his hair and rubs his back letting him know it’s okay. This may be the first that he has ever heard Felix cry this hard in his adult life and it truly broke his heart to hear him in such pain like this. In between sobs he can hear him trying to say something, so he tries to listen as best he can to understand.
Upon hearing those words that Sylvain just said to him, he could not help himself and just let everything out now. Clinging onto Sylvain and sobbing loudly, how pathetic, he thought to himself. All his thoughts came racing to him at once and he felt very weak at this moment, many thoughts of him never being a good son or a good enough person. How his brother was so great and his father loved him, and how he even loved Dimitri and saw the potential he had, but for Felix it felt that maybe he wasn’t ever good enough.
“Do you think I was a good son?” Sylvain’s heart shattered at hearing how sad Felix sounds by asking that.
“Of course you were and you still are. Your father was proud to see the man you grew up to become very strong, independent and how well you can carry yourself in battle. He loved you very much Felix.”
He continues to hold him and can now feel him calming down a little bit but hears a few sniffles here and there. He gets Felix to lay down and holds him against his chest, and there is a silence surrounding them again. He suddenly feels him shuffle away from him a little and watches as Felix stares up at him.
“Thank you for being here for me.”
“Of course Felix, I love you.” He wipes away the stray tears from his face and kisses his forehead. He knows that he can’t do much but to let him grieve, but if being there for him is helpful at all he is glad that he could.