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Chapter Text

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“Miss Jonnsonn, are you listening?”

Joanne Jonnsonn snapped out of her trance, turning away from the tinny neon screens that adored the edges of the cold concrete room, and fixed her attention on the police officer sitting at the opposite end of the table to her.

“Look, I’m sorry, it’s just that… well, uh, this is prison, right? It’s prison. Prison is the last place that you would expect to see adverts, and yet…” She stood up from her chair, and threw out her arms as much as she could while the cuffs were still on her wrists, gesturing wildly at the assorted screens. “Here they are!”.

The officer remained unamused, and pulled out some paperwork. “You’d be surprised. This is all beside the point, Miss Jonnsonn. You have been found guilty of a serious crime!”

“What crime?” Joanne yelled hysterically “Petty truthspeaking? Admit it, you hated that idiotic bauble as much as I did.”

The officer stood up, now eye level with Joanne, the first hint of emotion that had brimmed to her voice being a deep rage “Miss Jonnsonn. Mr. Pink is the world’s sweetheart, and I think I stand for every single living thing in this prison when I say that I refuse to accept any sort of slander pointed towards him!”

Joanne’s own anger had now diminished a little, now replaced with a little bit of laughter “Sweetheart, really? Do you really think he’s real? That thing is as much of a mascot as Jordan the Clown! He’s an imaginary character, like The Queen or Big Brother! He is vapid, empty, just like all the products he supposedly “produces”! Look!” And with that, she made a quick gesture with her hands, and the handcuffs around them cluttered away, allowing Joanne to spread her arms wide out. “I can always escape!”

The police officer was unimpressed “Miss Jonnsonn, if your little houdini routine held any sort of weight, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. You will be facing the full consequences of the law.”

“Then just throw me in my fucking waiting cell and get me my fucking lawyer already, I don’t care.”

“That was supposed to be what we were talking about.”

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Joanne had figured out a deal with the whole lawyer thing, found some guy called Badfinger to represent her. And, begrudgingly, she let herself be grabbed by the scruff of her neck and thrown into a cage until the trial tomorrow. Her motorcycle had been impounded too, and she wasn’t entirely sure if she was going to be able to get it back even after she gets released. That damn machine was a thing of beauty, a crimson fucking miracle, full of life and soul. And now, Joanne was being subjected to the opposite, a cold unfeeling cell. A squeaky-clean hellscape with the bare minimum furnishing, just a toilet, a sink, a bed, and a shelf with a couple of holy books and War & Peace decorating it. The whole place made her feel uneasy, constantly pacing around, sometimes kicking the walls in irritation.

You could tell she was uneasy just at a glance. Even without the blatant body language, she just didn’t mould with the place. She wore a custom-made jean jacket, sewn together from little pieces of recycled clothing. It was old, frayed, covered in obvious seams and patches, but it was HERS, goddamnit. On the back, the phrase “I FORGIVE U” was embroidered in colourful felt letters, forming an arch over an open eye crafted with the same material. Underneath the jacket, there was a simple white shirt, torn in places, and similarly worn out, which had been used as a canvas by Joanne, with a sky-blue “LOVE” spray-painted onto it. Due to its starker colours, the stains that it had accumulated over time were far more obvious. On her legs, there were a pair of brown shorts, with the tears on them this time being sewn up by various patches in the image of various logos. Her hair was a dirty blonde, long, unkempt and frizzy, and topped by a blue-grey beanie with a blue, purple and pink striped pin displaying her bisexuality for everyone else to see. She was a rough person, a dirty person, the sort of person you expect to see passed out at a concert, ripe with the stench of marijuana.

With the lens of hindsight applied, it’s hard to believe that this person was just a year away from becoming the most legendary musician of the new 30s.

“Miss Jonnsonn, you can take your phone call now.”

Joanne didn’t need to be told twice. She grabbed the little device that had been passed through the bars, and jabbed the numbers on the wheel, calling the only contact she could think of.

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He’d hung up.

“Asshole!”

Joanne threw the vaguely camera-adjacent device she'd been using to call to the ground with all her might, and it lightly bounced off the ground. Bounced. It didn’t even shatter to pieces like she’d hoped.

“Have you finished your call?”

Oh yeah, the guard that had given her the thing had been standing around the whole time. She lightly gave him a thumbs up, and he reached through the bars and took the thing back. Defeated, Joanne just crawled into the bed and tried to get some sleep. At least there was only one screen constantly yelling adverts at her here.

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The trial was very early, so Joanne had to be grabbed and forced awake. She was very tired throughout the whole thing, which, alongside her general disinterest in it, led to it all being a haze to her. She didn’t even know how long the whole thing lasted. She was eventually proven right about her suspicions: she was getting a fine, a very large fine. Practically all she had! She was scared, really. The paychecks she earned doing pretty much every single menial task at The Haiku Salut could barely pull her through the week as is, and now she had no safety net, especially now she’d burned the bridge between her and her family. At least she had the cold comfort that her bike was back.

That was the hardest part of the whole thing, actually. She had gone through so much red tape and wasted time just to see the goddamn thing in the first place. If they were going to automate the process that decided the ultimate fate of so many, they might as well do it with the cleanup, but no. It was barely noon when the trial was over, and by the time that Joanne was driving home on her bike, it was long past midnight.

The rain was back too. Horrible storms were pretty much a daily occurrence these days, what with all the climate bullshit. Really, it had been a miracle that the skies were clear in the daytime in the first place. At least it was a warm rain, a comforting rain. It clinged to Joanne’s body as she sped through nighttime roads. She didn’t see anybody else on the roads throughout the journey, making her only partner the neon signs that plastered the skyscrapers head to toe, flashing corporate logos, all the celebrities that Joanne hated, and the smiling face of Mr. Pink himself. It was as if he was laughing at Joanne personally, at how much she’d fucked up her own life with such a pointless attempt at knocking him down a peg. And now, in the dimly-lit night, she was truly alone.

Wait…

What’s that light on the road?

As Joanne sped onwards, she became more and more sure of it. A ring of bright light, hanging in the air. Perhaps it was some newfangled device, perhaps it was just some sort of illusion. Joanne just kept driving towards it, undeterred. She wasn’t going to slow down even if somebody was building a brick wall right in her path. And when she had just managed to move past it…

It exploded.

Not a fiery explosion, as many people would tend to think. Just an outward blast of light, coupled with a simple pulse of great force, which knocked all garbage and other debris away from the road, including Joanne, knocking her off her bike, and leaving her crumpled on the pavement. The pain wasn’t as extreme as she had anticipated, but it still left her delirious. She caught a little glimpse of what the light had left behind: a man, who had tackled something to the ground, shimmering onto the street from nowhere. After a few seconds, he let go of his captive, and shot away into the night with supernatural speed. As Joanne stumbled to her feet, she managed to clearly see what exactly the man had left behind.

An unconscious girl.

The first thing that Joanne noticed about the girl was that her skin was incredibly pale, almost pure white. It made her seem almost like a porcelain doll. Her hair was dyed a very bright red, but with a white streak in it. She wore a black leather jacket over a white shirt with a large red “1” smacked in its middle. Her black trousers and red shoes completed her wardrobe’s colour scheme. Joanne immediately got off her bike and grabbed her arm. Her body was still warm, with a strong pulse. She seemed like she was simply sleeping.

Joanne began panicking. She couldn’t just leave her here, passed out in the middle of the road. She would just get crushed by the first unfeeling car of the morning. If she just tried to move her to the side of the pavement, she would probably be found by some gang, who would do who knows what to her. Even if she did make it through to the morning, she would just be chewed up and spat out by anybody that she would try and go to for help. But Joanne couldn’t help her, she couldn’t save her. She could barely pay for herself on a good day, and this had to be one of the worst of her life. She couldn’t care for anyone, she couldn’t aid anyone. She just- she didn’t know. She didn’t know anything.

This was desperation, and this is what it did.

Joanne grabbed the girl off the road and onto the pavement. Then, when she was absolutely sure that she was safe, she took both their jackets off and tied them together in as good a knot as she could make, forming a sort of makeshift rope. Then, she sat herself and the girl on her bike, tied them together as hard as she could and, slowly, to make sure that the girl didn’t fall off, rode her way back home.

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When Joanne managed to get back home, the sun had already begun to rise. Joanne lived in a very peculiar place - The very edge of London. The ultimate culmination of the idea of the suburb, if you looked one way you could see the countryside, and if you looked the other, you could see skyscrapers. A place like this, especially a full two-story house with lots of space and a large garage, was undeniably expensive, but Joanne had the luck to have been born into a rather successful middle class family. Unfortunately, she couldn’t live up to the same degree of success as them, and maintaining this house was too much of an expense for her. The electricity was almost never turned on, most of the rooms were just stuffed with the trash that Joanne couldn’t be bothered to deal with herself, and there was definitely some kind of mould creeping into the place. After parking her bike, Joanne picked up the strange girl in her arms, and gently lifted her into the living room, and set her down on a sofa, covering her in a blanket. Afterwards, she lurched into the kitchen, weakly rifled through the drawers, until she managed to find a roll of tablets labelled “All-Nite”. She quickly popped the second-to-last one into her mouth, and in a few moments was completely refreshed. But, she was still hungry. She grabbed a tin of baked beans, popped open the ring pull, poured them into a small plastic bowl and shoved them into the microwave, grabbed a spoon, waited a minute or two, took the beans out of the microwave, then returned to the living room, shovelling beans into her mouth.

After finishing her makeshift meal, Joanne just sat on the floor, looking at the strange girl, waiting for something to happen, the incessant drone of the ad-screen in the background making it, at the very least, not completely monotonous. Eventually, she began to stir. Joanne was nervous, and just said the first thing that came to her mind.

“Hey! You! You’re finally awake!”

The strange girl looked at Joanne and her surroundings with confusion. Joanne could tell she was just unnerving her, but she didn’t know what else to do, so she just continued with her routine.

“I found you passed out in the middle of the road after a big flash of light. So I, uh, brought you home, I guess?”

Ok, now she had majorly diverted away from the original speech. Still, it was as best a summation of her situation that Joanne could manage. Nervous, Joanne waited on tenterhooks for any sort of response.

“turodatev”

What? Joanne couldn’t make out what she was saying.

“Did you say “Turn on the tv?””

“Off!” Now she was more clear, clearly pointing towards the ad-screen. “Turn off the tv!”

Joanne looked puzzled for a second, then turned back to the strange girl. “Uh, that’s an ad-screen.”

The girl showed a similar look of puzzlement to Joanne. “What the hell is an ad-screen?”

“Y’know” retorted Joanne “The shit that the government forces you to shove in your home or else they hike up your taxes!”

The girl seemed disinterested. “Whatever. It’s loud. I want it off.”

“You don’t just turn off ad-screens. That’s not how they work.”

“Then just turn it down.”

“...Do you really not know what an ad-screen is?”

“I DO NOT!” the woman yelled, suddenly snapping “AND I WOULD PREFER IF WASN’T CONDESCENDED OVER WHATEVER THIS WHOLE SCREEN THING IS AFTER I JUST WOKE UP IN SOME STRANGER’S HOUSE!”

They were both silent for a while. “Yeah.” responded Joanne “I guess it is pretty shitty of me to do this. Sorry.”

“Well,” replied the girl “At least I can be sure you didn’t kidnap me now.”

“Wait, how?”

“Because it takes a brain to be a kidnapper!”

Both of them had a massive laugh at that. After they had both calmed down, Joanne picked herself up. “You hungry?”

“Pretty hungry.”

“Well count yourself lucky, because today you are getting… breakfast in bed!”

“The dream.”

“Exactly! The dream! I don’t have any spare full englishes laying around though, so you’ll have to settle for some toast”, which prompted another chuckle from the girl. As Joanne turned to leave the room, she was greeted with another interjection from the girl.

“It’s Jackie, by the way. Jackie Rouge.”

“Joanne. Joanne Jonnsonn. And it’s great to meet you, Jackie.”

“Can I call you Jojo?”

“My friends call me Jojo.”

“I’m going to take that as a yes.”

A few minutes later, a beaming Joanne carried through a plate holding two slices of buttered toast and a knife to cut them with, which she dumped on Jackie’s lap. She took a few bites, and gave Joanne affirmation in the form of an unintelligible mumbling with a full mouth coupled with a thumbs up.

“So, uh” ventured Joanne “about that, uh…”

Jackie sighed “You mean my skin, right? Legally, it’s an extreme case of albinism, but in reality it’s some kind of wonderful new condition they’re considering naming after me. The pigment in my skin and hair is dedicated solely to bleaching it til it looks like I’m made of paper. It makes my skin extremely vulnerable, sadly, so I can barely go outside.”

“Could you not afford to buy the treatment?”

“What treatment?”

“Y’know the fucking, uhh, the Sonix thing. Make your body immune to sunburns or whatever.”

“I haven’t even heard of whatever Sonix is.”

A brief moment of silence as Jackie ate more of her toast, until she piped up again after finishing her bite.

“Hey, what year is it anyway?”

“Huh? Oh, it’s 2036.”

“Oh.”

“Is there anything wrong?”

“It’s nothing I was just thinking I might have time travelled or something.”

“It would explain a lot about you.”

They both went silent to let Jackie finish her toast. As she wiped the crumbs away from her mouth, she made yet another interjection.

“You really can’t turn that screen thing off?”

“I mean, I could tamper with it, but I’d be fined for that. And I would totally do that, I totally would. It’s just that I’m a little short for cast right now.”

“And you just live like this?”

“You get used to it.”

“Well I hate it. It’s dumb, it makes no sense. I just want it to shut u-”

As she spoke those words, something strange happened. As Jackie thrusted her hand towards the ad-screen in rage, her skin began to rupture, and a jet of blood ripped its way from her index fingertip. As the geyser collided with the screen, it began to bend, as the strain pushed down on the screen. It stuttered, although it did not stop, despite the blood dripping down its splendour. Needless to say, both girls were terrified.

“W-what was that?” yelled Joanne frantically “Did you do that?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know, I don’t know what any of this happening is! I just want it to-”

And suddenly, the same once more. Jackie’s skin was once again spoiled as a blast of blood shot out, attempting to take the device out once again.

“Oh god, oh god!” muttered Joanne “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!”

“I can’t!” yelled Jackie, as she vainly tugged on the knife “It’s not something I’m controlling!”

And as the ad-screen slowly groaned in the background, more incisions ripped their way into Jackie, blasting its warbling again and again and again until it eventually fell from the iron rod holding it up, and clattered to the floor, with Jackie’s inner fluids now haphazardly scattered around the room.

And although the same thought of “I just want this to be over and have everything be normal again” was running through the heads of the odd pair, they were both sorely mistaken about the situation that they had both been placed in. This mishap was simply a tiny teaser, a mere warmup, a palsy precursor for their first step into the bizarre.

<==To Be Continued After A Word From Our Sponsor==

Chapter Text

It can be said that there are “levels” to a person’s confidence. Firstly, there is “Bravery”. In this state, a person can easily overcome any adversary they face. In this state, they face no fear, and can easily overcome the threat that they face. Then, there is “Courage”. A courageous person would still be scared, but even still, they would have a great strength in their heart that would let them overcome it, and do what they feel needs to be done. And then, there is simple “Foolishness”. There is nothing that a fool can do, and yet they throw themself at this great threat anyway. But, even still, in this situation, there is a tiny million to one chance that they will overcome this threat.

The problem with this, is, of course, that fools have the rather troubling tendency to turn that chance into one in one.

Despite seeing firsthand that the shots of blood were powerful enough to pummel an innocent piece of technology into ruination, Joanne did not think once about what would happen if the same force found its way to her. She simply ran towards Jackie with conviction, knowing that if she didn’t find a way to patch her up, then she would bleed out and die.

But, sadly, Joanne cannot truly be called a fool, for a fool would face no consequences for their bizarre choices of actions, and, before Joanne knew it, a shot ripped away from Jackie’s cheek, knocking her to the ground.

She tried to drag herself back up, to give it another shot. But she was not very strong, and every time another shot pushed her back, the more tired she became, and eventually she was left with no power in her, sprawled over the debris of the ad-screen, glass fragments pushing into her back.

“I’m sorry”, said Joanne, with an oxymoronic yet heartfelt mixture of weakness and strength “I couldn’t help you. I don’t know how I even would help you. This is probably happening because of me. I’m so sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” responded Jackie, in a tone that was a mixture between a chuckle and a sob “All you were trying to do was help me. You did as well as anybody could do in this situation. You did good.”

“I’m scared!” sobbed Joanne “I don’t know what’s happening and I’m scared we’re going to die!”

Slowly, Jackie lifted herself from the sofa, and slowly made her way to Joanne. She kneeled down and lied over their shared bed of rubbish, extending a hand that made its way into Joanne’s. Each of them was jittering, and when they met, they each gently interlocked their fingers with each other, first forming a light connection, then gripping harder and harder onto each other as if it was the only thing anchoring them to the world. To Joanne, Jackie’s cold hands were soft, gentle and comforting. To Jackie, Joanne’s warm hands were energising, invigorating and secure.

“I am too, Joanne. I am too.”

And with that, Jackie noticed that in her approach, no more “blood blasts” had been fired.

“Joanne, I think I know what’s going on. This… whatever it is, it’s coming from me. It’s being triggered by… stress or something, I don’t know! But you made it better.”

“So, do I need to sloppily make out with you to save our lives or something?”

“Joanne!”

“Hey, hey, hey. Sorry. It would solve this whole thing though, admit it.”

“I bet you aren’t even that good a kisser.”

“I am too! I have kissed so many people!”

“Have you?”

“Ok, but I could, though! I could totally kiss so many boys and/or girls on the mouth!”

As the two bantered, Jackie’s mood calmed even more. The two slowly managed to pull themselves up, and back onto the sofa, together, with no compilations, no acts of chaos, nothing. They hadn’t even computed that the bizarre effect had ended. They simply shared some airy-headed laughter. But even that didn’t last forever, as eventually the two had to snap back to reality.

“We need to do something about your cuts” Joanne stated, as if Jackie hadn’t realised it yet. Jackie was unperturbed by the trivial obviousness of the statement, though.

“The “power” that made my skin rupture… we both agree that somehow I was doing that, right?” asked Jackie “Maybe I can also do the opposite. Maybe I can close my own wounds. Let me just…”

Jackie flexed the bicep of her right arm, the arm that most of the cuts were formed from, and clearly strained her face, but nothing happened.

“Ok, ok, I get it, I get what you’re trying to do.” said Joanne, clearly flustered and making pushing gestures towards Jackie “But it’s not working, so can you please let me just get a medkit?”

“You have medkits here?”

“Yeah, they use this chemical cocktail thing or whatever to basically heal pretty much any physical wound”

“That sounds incredible!”

“It should, shouldn’t it? But ever since they axed the NHS they’ve become expensive as shit. But that hasn’t stopped the police from using them as justification to horrifically maim anybody they want! Because it’s not like applying these things actually amplifies the pain of the wounds! It’s not like hurting somebody physically doesn’t cause mental scars as well!”

“Oh. Well, where I’m from there isn’t any of this, and there was still a ton of police brutality stuff…”

“Well at least in the fucking olden days or whatever they had to pretend that they were upholding righteousness! They don’t even bother maintaining the facade anymore, they just walk around and shoot up anything they want to without repercussions! And there’s not even any way to fight back against them, because the designs for the Protomen suits that make them able to withstand a grenade are still somehow classified, no matter how much people try to hack them! They’re just a cruelty squad!”

“...I think you should just get the medkit.”

Joanne returned as quickly as she left, the medkit in hand. It seemed to resemble a regular first aid kit, but with two large spikes sticking out of the side of it. It also lacked the “handle” that a regular first aid kit would be opened with.

“One medkit, free of charge!” quipped Joanne “I would say that it’s only going to hurt for a little bit, but I already told you the truth about how they work so…”

Joanne quickly pulled the knife embedded in Jackie’s hand, causing blood to start rushing out. As Jackie let out a yell of pain, she jammed the needles of the medkit into Jackie’s arm, and pressed down on the red cross symbol, which revealed itself to double as the button to activate the device. Suddenly, Jackie’s wound started to close, and blood stopped rushing from it. Eventually, her body was completely healed, although her arm was still caked in scarlet, and she was very clearly in pain, so much so that she didn’t even register that Joanne had pulled out the needle.

“Joanne, what the fuck?”

“Sorry, it’s just that people are usually easier with needles if they don’t expect them coming.”

“Well I’m not scared of needles!”

“Oh. Well, uh… Live and learn?”

“Are you scared of needles?”

“Yeah.”

“And were you hurt by landing on the broken ad-screen?”

“...yeah?”

Jackie grabbed the medkit from Joanne’s arms with the hand it hadn’t been used on. “You are going to need this thing. And when you do, I will be the one that is using it. And I will telegraph it so hard.”

Joanne didn’t know how to reply, so she just gave a double thumbs up and a cheesy smile, which clashed with the blatant uncertainty the rest of her body language presented, prompting a pained chuckle that was more of a cough from Jackie, which eventually concluded itself with a groan.

“God my hand hurts like hell.”

“Do you want me to kiss it better?”

Jackie was taken aback by Joanne’s comment, staying silent and shocked for a few seconds.

“Are you… flirting with me?”

“I-”

“Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I suppose looking back on it it does have a sort of romantic tint to it, doesn’t it? I’ve been thrown into this strange world, and you’re the one to save me. I bonded with you so easily, sharing banter like we’ve known each other for years within minutes of knowing you. You made me feel like I belong even if I’m trillions of light-years away from home, or wherever I even am. And we just shared such an intimate moment so… I get it. I get that you thought I was coming onto you, and that you were happy with that, so you tried to come back. I get it. But I’m not gay, Joanne.”

Joanne stuttered for a few moments, her words being caught in her throat over and over, until she eventually just decided to stay silent and sit down on the sofa that Jackie wasn’t lying down on.

“But, I… would like for you to kiss it better, yes.”

“A-Are you sure?”

“Just do it, ok?”

Gently, Joanne walked over to Jackie, who offered the back of her hand to Joanne, who gave it three gentle kisses. With these, the red stains on it were transferred over to Joanne, leaving her with blood on her face. Joanne then collapsed onto the floor, facing the ceiling.

“Dammit” she said “I feel like shit now.”

“I’ll use the medkit then.”

“No, I mean like… sure, whatever.”

Jackie picked up the medkit, and positioned it next to Joanne’s arm.

“So, are you ready to have the needle put in?”

“Look, can you just get past this bit and inject me with the- owwwww!”

And with that, Jackie had copied what she had seen Joanne do with the medkit, sticking it into her arm and pressing the red cross button.

“Christ! Shit! Oww! Fuck!”

“I thought you said it hurt less if you weren’t expecting it?”

“The needle, not the actual healing process that you just went through like five seconds ago! Dammit!”

A silence filled the room for quite a while as Jackie watched while Joanne dealt with the pain coming from the medkit’s procedure. Eventually, Joanne seemed to have gotten past it, and piped up.

“What was it like?”

“What?”

“Back home, I mean. Where you came from, wherever that is.”

“It’s just kind of… like here, really. Just… less. Less rain, less of this technology, less of all these intrusions or whatever.”

“Are there eye brothers?”

“I don’t even want to know what those are.”

“...How are you doing this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just… being normal. Every single day, when I see all the pointless pain and soulless suffering of the modern day, there’s always this thought nagging in the back of my head. “There is a better world. There must be.” I just can’t let go of that hope that humanity is better than to just… make this the only path we could have taken. And now, you’re here. You’re living proof of that, and now you’re here. Thrown into this manmade hell. You don’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that. And you’re just… acting normal.”

“Like I said, you’re helping make it feel normal. Maybe it’s some sort of defence mechanism to protect me from all the shock but… I feel fine.”

“...Good. This is a bullshit world you’ve been tossed into, you know? It makes no sense, it’s not fair for anybody but the corporate gods, and it’s all moving too fast to grab a hold onto. Never stop living like that.”

The two just sat there in silence a little longer, until Joanne eventually heaved herself up.

“Well,” she stated, “I’m going to go patch up my jacket. Do you know how to sew?”

“No.”

“You wanna watch?”

“Sure.”

Autotune your heart with an Autochip!

Compared to the decrepit nature of the rest of the house, Joanne’s garage was by far the best-maintained. It was still dirty, full of random junk and damp, but to a far lesser degree than any of the other rooms. The atmosphere was also helped by the fact that it was the only room in the house where you couldn’t hear the chatter of the ad-screens, even faintly. On the sides of the room, there were large tables that stretched from end to end of the room, with various appliances left lying on them, from speakers to a washing machine to a sewing machine. Joanne’s bike was propped against one of these tables. The middle of the room was a much more wide open space, with a microphone on a standee at the very middle dominating the room. Joanne took off her jacket, and started to patch together the holes created by the shards of metal. Jackie roamed around the room, checking out the various things left behind there, until eventually settling by the microphone. She waited for a moment where Joanne was taking a pause with her sewing, and called out to her.

“Hey Joanne! What’s this microphone for?”

“Oh, that? I just… sing with it.”

“Oh? Are you a good singer?”

“No, not really, I just… I do it.”

“Can I hear you sing?”

“I just said I’m not a good singer.”

Jackie took the microphone off the standee and tossed it towards Joanne, who caught it quickly.

“I’ll be the judge of that”

Joanne gripped the microphone tightly, mouthing words, but without anything coming out of her mouth. She started to hyperventilate, until she closed her eyes, swallowed multiple times, and started to sing.

“...Buddy, you’re a boy, make a big noise…”

She started to tap her foot to set a metronome.

“I can see it in your eyes, you’re gonna make your own beat someday…”

Her voice began to get louder.

“You’ve got mud on your face, you big disgrace…”

Her voice began to get more confident, more emotionally charged.

“Kicking your can all over the place!”

Her eyes were open, and now she was singing from her heart, singing from her soul.

“Singing…”

And as she reached the final lines, Jackie chimed in, perfectly in sync with her voice.

“We will, we will, rock you! Singing we will, we will, rock you!”

Jackie rushed to give Joanne a big hug.

“That was incredible, Joanne!”

“Thanks, I suppose.”

“How much do you practise?”

“...Every day. I practise every single day.”

“That was professional, you should perform somewhere.”

“Please. Professional is an insult. All these modern singers are completely soulless.”

“Well then you’re better. Better than the whole rotten lot of them put together.”

“You really think so?”

Jackie grabbed Joanne’s hand hard.

“Joanne… I’m a musician too. I practised on my guitar every single day, like you did with your voice.”

Joanne gained a devious tone to her face, as well as her voice. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

With a massive grin on her face, Jackie gave a massive thumbs up. “Joanne Jonnsonn… Will you start a band with me?”

<==To Be Continued After A Word From Our Sponsor==

Chapter Text

Joanne’s face lit up at the sound of Jackie’s suggestion, and was seemingly about to yell something out, but suddenly she seemed to remember something, and her joyous expression dropped off, and she started to look towards the ground, mouthing something a few times before eventually letting out her answer in a strained voice, obviously pushing past a block in her throat.

“...no.”

Joanne pushed herself away from Jackie, starting to slowly walk away from her, but slowly picking up her pace.

“Look, I have a bunch of my dads’ vhs tapes of Invitation To Love. Seasons 1 through 15! Just… go watch them or something.”

And with that, she rushed out of the garage, leaving Jackie alone. Jackie sighed, and, noticing a guitar behind some of the various debris in the room, picked it out, and played a few chords before setting it down with another sigh. She too crawled out of the garage, and found her way to the kitchen. She peeked through the cupboards, picked out a can of mushroom soup that was the closest to what she recognised as a familiar brand, poured it into a bowl and heated it up. She picked a spoon, and, after a short while, the heated soup, and made her way back to the living room. The TV was intact, despite the chaos that had just happened, so Jackie fiddled with the remote that she managed to find until she managed to turn it properly on, and flipped through the channels as she took spoonfuls of her soup.

“-the streets can finally rest easy, as famous drug kingpin Jodio-”

“-in this heartwarming story, this young boy singlehandedly raised the money needed for his father’s life-saving insulin-”

“-this is more gruelling than that week where I was trying to train to be an oironaught-”

“-all hail the pale king of the coloured arena-”

“-well, Raven, as crowds flock to preorder the Virtual Boy Neo, we all know it’s for one reason: to buy the hottest new game on the planet, Gimmiko. But is it truly a new global titan on the same level as The Myth of Link, Sonic the Hedgehog and Digimon, or is it just another-”

“-The Great Scottish Bake Off will continue after a word from our sponsor-”

Jackie decided to turn the thing off and just eat her soup. Even that was barely recognisable as anything she could feasibly recognise. It was definitely a flavour, but she’d tasted soup like it before, and it just… wasn’t that. She didn’t even know where those tapes that Joanne had mentioned were. So she decided to just pick herself up and look for her.

The first floor of the house was very decrepit. Most of the rooms didn’t even have doors on them, letting you see the sheer amounts of rubbish that were strewn about in each of them. Of the two that did have something, only one them had any kind of light coming out of its closed edges, so Jackie hazarded a guess and opened it, and, lo and behold, there was Joanne, seemingly playing a game on some bizarre contraption that pervaded itself across the entirety of the small room, the blinking lights and scrolling rgb colours lining them providing the illumination Jackie had assumed was being created by an active lightbulb.

Unable to know what to say to her, Jackie simply tried to get her attention with a statement of “You have terrible taste in food.”

“What did you eat?” responded Joanne flatley, without looking away from what she was doing.

“Soup. Mushroom.”

“Brand?”

“I think it said “Toy” on the label?”

“That…” Joanne actually paused the game and turned around “That isn’t lame! I eat that stuff often!”

“Is it just because it’s cheap, or something?”

“Of course it’s because it’s cheap! I need to save every penny I can in this pesky nation!”

“So then what’s that?”

“This? This? All of this?” Joanne stood up from her chair “This is a labour of love, a great beast forged from the burning heart of my own desire. This is my grand creation, my magnum opus, my big fucking thing! This is a goddamn 55% adblocked, 70% private, RGB glowing, physically durable, sustainably watercooled, self-powering PC with emulation capabilities for all known consoles, capable of performing at rates up to 200 FPS, with no lag at any stages, and able to store an entire fucking yottabyte of data!”

“So it’s a really good PC.”

“Yeah, it’s a good fucking PC! It took me about a year to initially set up, and I upgrade it every month! And look at it! Isn’t it so cool!”

Jackie gave a mischievous grin, and started to just saunter out of the room, still facing Joanne. “I don’t know, I might just go back to watching Invitation To Love.”

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT NO LOOK LET ME SHOW YOU IT!”

“If I have to”, Jackie replied, with a voice dripping with absolutely none of the hesitation regularly associated with the phrase.

“Ok, so, right now, I’m playing The Sceptre Files. It’s this little pixel rpg thing where you play as an agent guy for this organisation to do with a bunch of supernatural stuff but also… eh, can’t really describe it concisely. First version of the game came out back in ‘22, and it was pretty decent, but they kept on updating it, and updating it and updating it past that initial release, and they’re still doing it, adding and adding onto the game! It got a Tanqueray World Record for that, I think. Right now, I’m trying to go for a Pianist run playing as Doy…seh…zeh… I can’t pronounce his name, but he’s a pretty fun character to play. Probably my seventh favourite, although most of the community would have him closer to thirteenth.”

“How specific.”

“This is a decently old game, ok? And the fandom is pretty insane.”

“Are they stupid?”

“Yeah, they’re pretty fucking stupid.”

There was an awkward pause after that. Joanne then started to sit down again, but Jackie piped up as she was starting to sit.

“Was there a reason you rejected my offer?”

Joanne finished sitting, and let out a sigh. “Well, it’s stupid isn’t it? To think we can do that. Become this unlikely duo that just takes the entertainment world by storm, these plucky rebels fighting against a wave of manufactured trash to create something… something real.”

“Sounds to me like you want to do it.”

“But I obviously CAN’T, can I? I thought I could be the one, everyone did. I thought… we thought…”

“Did you… have a past in this kind of thing?”

“I used to… I used to be in a band, back in ‘29. Me on the mic, Seb on the bass, Natasha on the drums, and Phil laying down a meeeean sax. Didn’t work out. I tried to meet up with the old members last year, actually. Turned out that Tash and Phil had been killed. Shot dead by some petty thugs.”

“...I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You had no way of knowing. And to be honest, I barely knew them at that point. I could only really picture the face of Seb in the first place. I didn’t even have a good reason to meet with them again anyway. I guess I’d just been filled with…”

“Nostalgia?”

“I suppose. Was I too wrong for that?”

“No, I’m not a nostalgia critic. You just wanted to remember the good times, that was all. Those, and the people that made them real.”

“But, like… Were those even good times if I couldn’t remember them? I guess I just had… an idea, I guess. An idea of something that I wanted.”

“And is this… “idea”... related to that concept of being in a band?”

“OF COURSE IT IS! WHY DO YOU THINK I PRACTISE EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN DAY? I WANT THIS! ALL MY LIFE I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT WANT THIS ONE THING, AND I TRIED TO GRAB IT AND LOOK WHO I AM NOW, JUST WALLOWING IN MY OWN DAMN SADNESS! AND YOU, YOU OBVIOUSLY WON’T BE ABLE TO GIVE ME THAT EITHER! IT’S ALL SO, SO, SO-”

“Stupid?”

“...yeah.”

“...let me get something.”

Jackie left the room. As she did, Joanne quickly saved her game and closed the window, and slumped down on the chair, looking at the ground. Not long after, Jackie returned, holding the guitar from the garage in her hands.

“...why do you have that thing?” Joanne queried

“Is it important to you?”

“No, I just tried to pick it up, failed, and went back to honing what I was already pretty good at. Are you going to play for me?”

“Play… I suppose I am. But I’m not going to just “play” it. I’m going to “wield” it as well. Because today, in this one transient moment… This is not just a guitar. It’s a “weapon”, aimed directly at your “walls”.”

And so, Jackie gave it her first strum.

“I only ask that you are ready to experience it.”

An explosion.

That was the only word that could truly describe the pulse of the feedback created as Jackie began to play. An explosion that ripped away everything around the two, the walls, the building, the world, the cosmos, the universe. Because it wasn’t just an explosion. It was the Big Bang.

Jackie effortlessly made her way through the notes as the stars started to manifest throughout the universe she had created. The two were left to observe it, drifting through the void on a little platform of rock. As she played the chords and let them blend together to forge something new, little particles of dust gathered to fling together to the tune, compounding and compounding to the ball until they were a planet. And as she pulled it all together to a riff, those planets whipped around the reverberations, and the light that those reverberations had formed. As the noise became softer, a hot red sea formed around one of those spheres, forging its way to one day becoming the blue gem inlaid into the great black glass. As the noise intensified once again, that planet was gone, swallowed up by the expanding star that gave it its light, with only The Martian left to mourn it. The music accelerated, and so did everything else. Planets and stars began to congregate unto one point, converging into a brilliant light. Almost there now! The thing that they were coming together to create was growing larger and larger and larger, and the music was getting faster and faster and faster until…

Bang.

Time no longer existed as a concept. Space no longer existed as a concept. No matter. No energy. No life. No death. But Jackie was not done playing. And so, with every impact her fingers made upon the strings, she moved the remaining stardust sparks, bending them to her will, forming them together, focusing to bring the tune back to its beginning…

And the universe reset. But more importantly, the solo was over. Neither of the audience could speak for a long time. Eventually, Joanne managed to get something in.

“...why? Why are you doing this to me?”

“Did you not like it?”

“Jackie.” Joanne stood up, and grasped one of her hands around one of Jackie’s “That was the greatest moment in my entire life. I don’t know if I can bring myself to live without it.”

Jackie blushed “I was just… fooling around. Playing some simple tunes I knew, integrating them together, adding my own twists, editing them, twisting out that basis to turn it from a copy to a base to something complete its own self… Nothing special.”

“I don’t care! I loved it! You’re a genius!”

Jackie smirked “You reconsidering my offer?”

“What? No! Of course not! You deserve somebody so much better than me. I’m just… some girl with a tiny bit of talent.”

“Joanne. I want you to know something. I don’t care. When I heard you sing, I immediately knew that I wanted to be in a band. And the person that I want to be in a band with is you. Nothing can change that.”

“God” muttered Joanne through her tears of joy “You’re such an asshole.”

Jackie chuckled “I see myself as more of a cunt.”

They both burst out laughing. They both knew that it wasn’t THAT funny, but when they were like that, any little quip would have been the greatest comedy in the world.

“Hey,” Joanne ventured eventually “Can you… play some more?”

Jackie’s grin only got wider “Only if you promise to sing along.”

And so, the pair jammed on for forever and a day. When the two of them were tired, the feelings were so strong they didn’t even need to talk to know what to do, with Joanne sleeping in her usual spot, and Jackie sleeping on the sofa.

And remember, you could be advertising in this very slot for only £50 an hour!

“JACKIE GET UP IT’S SEVEN!”

Jackie found herself regaining consciousness to the beautiful sight of the screaming face of Joanne jostling her out of her newfound sleeping spot.

“Does something, uh… happen at seven?”

“I mean, it’s pretty late. Have to go to work and stuff.”

The two stared at each other for a few seconds.

“Oh yeah, I forgot. Do you wanna… come to see me at my work?”

“Couldn’t hurt.”

“Neat, here’s a Mini-Break.”

Joanne shoved some sort of brownie-like square into Jackie’s hand, although, somehow, Jackie knew for certain it wasn’t as sweet.

“Is this some sort of… food pill or something?”

“Yeah, you could say that. It’s a decent alternative if you don’t have time to eat an actual breakfast, and it’s got a bit of caffeine in it too, so it helps wake you up.”

Jackie shovelled the thing into her mouth. It had a decidedly earthy taste.

“So, when do we go?”

“Fucking NOW. Better pop your shoes on soon!”

Jackie quickly popped off the bed and hurried to the door where she had deposited her shoes and socks. Luckily, she had fallen asleep with her clothes on, so these were the only things she needed to don.

“Don’t I need to shower or brush my teeth or put on new clothes or-”

Joanne responded just by plunking a white bike helmet on Jackie’s head, which she quickly did up.

“You’ll be fine.”

Joanne put a similar helmet onto her head and opened the front door. And although all that could be seen outside was stormy weather, all either of them felt from it was a sense of ease.

“Come on out into the rain.”

<==To Be Continued After A Word From Our Sponsor==

Chapter Text

Ah, London. What a strange place you are. Most people would claim that other cities in the world hold more weight to them, such as New York or Morioh, but in reality, as the place where they originated, London is the capital of the world for the wacky and bizarre. Those that are in certain circles have a certain saying: “once you’re tired of London, you’re tired of life”. And although most people would not have their unique perspective on this, there is a lot that can be said about London. Big Ben, that giant digital clock pointing up in the sky, The Eye, that wonderful turning wheel, and who could forget The Central Tower, one of the largest buildings in the world, built on the former location of Buckingham Palace, and the spinal cord that controls the nervous system of the world. But, despite all of this, London is, at its most fundamental level, really just like any other city. Run down, thug infested, steaming with waste… really, you’d think most people would hate living in cities, but they’re the only place where you can find a decent home.

As Joanne and Jackie splashed through the morning rain, Jackie got her first face to face view of Joanne’s world. It was chaotic, the traffic moving so fast, every spare square metre of space on buildings or buses illuminated by video billboards. They could be as small as a postage stamp, or completely covering one of the faces of a skyscraper. The biggest one had to be that one from a brand named “Bizarre Stardust” depicting a geisha drinking a cocktail and grinning. But that chaos was also exciting, and the speed that Joanne pumped her bike at to keep up with it was exhilarating. Jackie held on tight, enjoying every second of the ride. Joanne kept her pace out of the traffic by weaving through as many back alleys as she could, speeding up her passageway to her final location.

The Haiku Salut didn’t really have anything that let it stand out from any other pub in London from the outside, other than the big glowing neon that spelt out its name in a buzzing purple light. However, after Joanne took out the keycard that opened the doors and let the pair in, it took on a more rustic feel, having an almost entirely wooden interior that soaked up the smell of beer so well you wouldn’t be able to tell if there was a pint directly under your nose if you weren’t looking. The bar itself divided the place in two, with one side ending with a large TV that was not currently turned on, and the other ending with a small stage. Joanne walked over to the main counter of the bar, and lightly dinged a bell on it a few times, and then hollered loudly at the air.

“BOB! GET UP, WE’RE GOING TO OPEN SOON!”

After a small pause, a muffled “I’m comin’!” could be heard, and not long after that, a middle-aged man tumbled down into the room from a distant door labelled “STAFF ONLY”. He was balding, but he had a great moustache.

“Seriously,” Joanne sighed, “How do I keep getting here before you’re even up?”

Bob shrugged. “Iunno, Jojo. Must be a Christmas miracle.”

Jackie was about to pipe in with a rebuke, but Joanne just looked at her and they both knew that it would be better for her not to. Bob and Joanne quickly got to work, turning on different screens and lights to give the place a homely feel. As the heating was switched on, a holographic fireplace also appeared. It was rather easy to see through, but it gave the place a homely feel. Jackie just decided to sit down at one of the tables as Joanne flipped around the sign hanging on the door from “CLOSED” to “OPEN”, and Bob presumably turned on some music, as a pop tune started to come out of some tinny speakers. It definitely… was music. Joanne decided to get out from behind the bar and sat next to her.

“So, uh-” Joanne tried to pipe up

“I don’t like the music.” Responded Jackie bluntly, shutting her down.

“Yeah, thought so. Look, I’m gonna be working, so I’ll just give you my camera to… I don’t know, do stuff with.” Alongside a pair of earbud headphones, Joanne handed Jackie a device that she instantly understood as a Smartphone, but she decided not to question it. She pressed the power button, and was surprised to find that the device’s natural state was supposed to be horizontal, not vertical. She rotated it quickly, flicked the touchscreen, and…

“Hey, Joanne? How do I get in?”

“Oh, wait hold on, let me type in the code for ya.”

Jackie passed the camera back to Joanne, who tapped it a few times before giving a confident “You’re good!”, and extending it out with the homepage visible. Jackie didn’t pick it up herself, however, and instead extended her hand and focused, and bam! It jolted out of Joanne’s palm and into hers.

“Oh yeah”, noted Joanne “Your blood issue or whatever. Has that happened again?”

”Oh, I wasn’t really thinking of it as an issue. It’s sort of a superpower, don’t you think?”

“Well from my perspective, it seems like a serious health condition. I just want to know if you’re safe.”

“Heh. Well, it sure feels like I’m safe, at least for now. I think, if I really WANTED to, I could activate it on will. But, well, I’m not going to do that.”

“Well, maybe there’ll be some kind of situation where vomiting up all your blood will be advantageous. But, until then, please don’t endanger yourself, ok? Look, I’m gonna go back behind the counter. I want you to remember that if you need anything, you can just call me.”

“I know. I never plan to forget, in fact!”

“And, well, if you wanna help me with my work, y’know…”

“Nah, I think I’m happy just being a squatter for now.”

That prompted a good laugh from the two. Joanne went behind the counter and Jackie started to pull up Joanne’s camera, and noticed something.

“Hey, Joanne? You’ve got a notification.”

“Is- Is it from my dads?”

“Is “Rockin’ Star” related to your dads?”

“Oh, no, no, they’re a band! I love them so much, they’re the only modern musicians that actually have something to say, yknow? They CARE about what they make, unlike all the manufactured nonsense we hear day to day on the radio.”

“Well, uh, they split up.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“Do you need a moment?”

“No, no, I’m fine. I’m just… yeah, I’m fine.”

And so, the day began. Customers went and goed, drinking deeply, having lunches and snacks. Football matches could be seen on the big screen, and the audience cheered and groaned with all their souls. And Joanne tended to them all, pouring out drinks and cleaning up tables as needed be, as Jackie looked on and smiled. Eventually, it was time for them to head home. Jackie handed Joanne her camera back, the two hopped on Joanne’s bike, and the two started to drive off into the rain back home.

“So hey!” Joanne piped up “What sort of stuff did you do on my phone?”

“I listened to Rockin’ Star, mainly.”

“The WHOLE time?”

“You said you loved them.”

“...Did you love them?”

“Hell yeah I did.”

Joanne chuckled “Yeah, that’s good, that’s good. I’m gonna miss them.”

“We could do a tribute to them?”

“What?”

“I thought we were going to be a band. Might as well mess around like that.”

“Oh yeah, yeah, I nearly forgot about that, honestly.”

“It’s fine. It is only our second day, after all.”

“But yeah, we could do that as practice or whatever. Sing a bunch of their songs. What was your favourite song from them, by the way? Mine is- What the hell?”

Joanne suddenly stopped the bike,and Jackie quickly realised why. They had just swerved into a back alley to avoid some traffic, and for some reason, there was a line of rubbish bins blocking their way. The two got off the bike as Joanne quickly got to work trying to push them out of the way, until she heard a sinister chuckle from behind.

“Nyeck nyeck nyeck… looks like our little “blockade” has caught us some game.”

Jackie and Joanne turned around, and before them they could see a trio of thugs blocking their path in. The centre man was mostly bald except for a swirled puff of blonde on his forehead, while the two hanging on his side both had longer dark hair. They all were wearing clothing bedazzled with RGB lines, and, most crucially of all, were all holding knives.

“We’d prefer if you remember us as the London Lane Gang! We’ll be taking your bike, and do not protest, lest we take your lives too!”

Jackie slowly walked away, but Joanne stepped forward.

“Really? You think I’m just gonna give up?”

“JOANNE! NO!”

“I’ve handled street toughs like you before. You think that you can push me around just because you’ve got a weapon and I don’t, huh? Think you’ve got strength in numbers? Let me paint you a picture.”

Joanne started to walk towards the trio slowly.

“Two years ago, I got into a brawl. The odds sure were against me, I can tell you that. One against seven. But the thing is, at the end of the day…”

Joanne lunged forward, and punched the blonde man in the gut.

“Only that one was still conscious.”

She grabbed his hand and slipped the knife out of it, causing it to clatter helplessly to the floor. The two other thugs swiped at her, but Joanne just tripped one over and rolled to the ground to avoid the other. From that roll, she rose up, and pummelled the remaining one in the face… Only to be met with a knife to the gut.

But then, a miracle happened.

The knife pierced her body, but… nothing. No blood. No pain. As the thug withdrew the knife, there was no wound. The blade had completely phased through Joanne’s body.

The thug suddenly yelled out. “What the hell! Where’d she go?”

Could… they not see her anymore? Joanne focused, and…

“Aah! What the hell? She’s back?”

The thugs scampered away, scared stiff, while Joanne looked at herself in wonder. She focused again, and her body suddenly felt lighter. She pushed against one of the walls, and, sure enough, her hand phased through it. She took it out, focused again, and once again she was solid.

“I- Jackie, I think… I think you’re not the only one of us with powers of some kind.”

“Huh… you can phase through objects just like that?”

“And go invisible, based on what those guys were saying!”

“Strange. I could see you the whole time.”

“Well… maybe only people with “abilities” like us can see you?”

“Hmm… that could make sense. Hey, do you think we should come up with a name for all this stuff?”

“Stand. The powers you two hold… they’re known as Stands.”

Jackie and Joanne turned around to find that, firstly, a side passage in the alleyway had opened where there had been none before, and secondly, a man had walked out of it. They were completely bald, and were wearing dark glasses over their eyes. They wore a grey woollen jacket over a dark shirt, which had a repeating heart pattern over it that evoked the fleur-de-lis. It was partially unbuttoned, allowing for a white frilly collar to explode from underneath, which similarly came out of their sleeves. On their exposed skin, you could see a tattoo of a burnt shape, like the fragmentation left behind on the edges of a bullet hole, but in a heart shape.

“Who the hell are you?” asked Joanne.

“Call me… Potluck.”

“Well, uh, Mr. Potluck-”

“It’s Mx, actually.”

“Oh. Sorry. Well, uh… what the fuck?”

“Oh yes, the situation. I must apologise, I really did tell my associates to try and attack you in a nonfatal manner. Sometimes people simply get too excited.”

“What the hell do you mean, associates?”

“There was a war in heaven back in 2000, Joanne. And the devil won. Ever since then, I’ve been giving people shelter, trying to form a resistance, trying to build the foundation for a world where humanity can turn back on God and say “Gotcha!”. And you two, now you piqued my interest.”

“How the hell do you-”

“Witnesses. It’s easy to have witnesses when you’re a teleporter. I used to have four “Informers” as my most trusted allies in fact, but, well… they passed away back in ‘33”

Potluck threw a card towards Jackie, who caught it effortlessly.

“What happened here confirmed my suspicion. You two are stand users. And because of that, people with similar abilities are going to be pulled towards you like a magnet. You’re going to have to either form a faction or join one if you want to survive in the modern world. If you want to look into my offer further, that card’ll help you. I hope I get to meet you together someday on [ABBEY ROAD].”

And with that, Potluck walked back into the crack in the wall. Joanne tried to rush after them, but the path simply closed behind them. Joanne got a little glimpse of where they were going though, a street so full of colour and celebration that there had to have been some kind of carnival going on. But it was only for a second, and then it was gone. Joanne collapsed to her knees as Jackie piqued up.

“Do you want to know what the card is?”

“Sure, whatever. Is it like a business card or does it have instructions on it or-”

“Actually it’s… It’s a trading card. Yu-Gi-Oh. Ceremonial Bell. Level 3, Attack 0, Defence 1850, Both players play with their hands revealed.”

“How does that- aw, what the hell, just put it away. The rain has to be bad for it.”

Jackie shrugged “It’s in a protective sleeve.”

“Just… just put it away anyway. Let’s go home.”

Pontus Pirate 3! Out in cinemas this August!

As the pair returned home, Joanne crawled over to the living room and collapsed on one of the sofas with a groan. Jackie followed her, less tired, and simply sat down patiently on the other sofa.

“I suppose this means that we won’t be practising tonight.”

“What? Oh, no, no, no, I have practised every single goddamn day for the past… I don’t know how many years and I’m not gonna let one encounter with some weird alley douchebag and their fucked up goons ruin it! I just… I need a moment.”

The two then went silent for a bit, until eventually Jackie started to make conversation.

“So… this is the first proper time you’ll be dueting, I suppose?”

“Yeah, haven’t done a proper teamup since back when I was with my old band.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Nervous? No, no, no. In fact…”

And suddenly, Joanne leaped up, her temperament taking a complete 180. Before, she was incapacitated. Now? She was raring to go.

“I’M ALL FIRED UP!”

She rushed off to the garage, and Jackie followed her. Joanne plugged in the microphone, tossed Jackie the guitar, and stood her ground.

“So, uh, what are we going to play?”

“Well, I never did get to ask you that question. Out of all of Rockin’ Star’s songs… which was your favourite?”

“Oh! Crazyfly, definitely.”

“Heh. That’ll be a little hard for us to play due to how much that song depends on the bass but-”

Joanne stopped suddenly.

“Joanne? Is something wrong?”

“No, I’m fine, we can keep playing. We can keep playing like the sun’ll never come up! It’s just… I think I know what that card was supposed to mean.”

<==To Be Continued After A Word From Our Sponsor==

Chapter Text

The next day found itself opening rather similarly to the way that the day before opened. Joanne barged into the living room to shake Jackie out of her slumber on the sofa after a long night spent awake practising together, handed her a little brown square to chew on, and pulled her off out into the heavy weather to drive off to The Emerald Heart. Joanne would then wake Bob up, and the day would begin and pass, until eventually it was time for the pair to head home. However, this day diverged from the last, as it did not further initiate the girls into the world of the strange spirits they understood as Stands. However, something did happen on the way that made this day very notable, arguably to an even greater degree than the day before. As the bike splashed through the puddles, Jackie’s voice piped up.

“So… you said you’d figured out something for that card?”

Jackie sighed “Yeah, yeah. It’s the name. It’s not the type, or the attribute, or the effect, or the stats or the level, or whatever, it’s just the name. And not even the full name, either. Just one of the words matters. Bell. That’s his name.”

“Whose, if I may inquire?”

“Seb. Sebastian Bell. My old bandmate. The only one who… the only one who’s still here. You see, back when the four of us first tried drugs, Seb wandered off while he was still high, and he just didn’t come back. We were all really scared for him, until the next day when he appeared on my doorstep, rambling about this wonderful street he found called Abbey Road, and the people living there had helped him through a bunch of stuff about himself. Ever since then we’ve always been arguing on and off over whether Abbey Road really exists or if he had an epiphany while high. And now, I suppose, this is the evidence. I was gonna visit him at the weekend to try and talk with him about the situation.”

“Well, why don’t we just go now?”

“Look, I don’t-”

“Oh come on, we surely have the time to spare!”

“Fiiine. But don’t blame me for… I don’t know, whatever shit happens.”

And so, when she reached the crossroads intersecting Rubicon Street and Gerard Way, Joanne swerved the bike around, and started to drive off to Seb’s house. In harsh contrast to Joanne’s own lush suburban house, Seb lived in a flat in a dingy neighbourhood. Joanne parked her bike by leaning it against a nearby fence and fiddling with some buttons on the dashboard, and then strutting off, with Jackie following.

“Aren’t you worried that somebody would steal your bike?”

“Ah, don’t worry, I got a security system. Now hurry up, this is your idea after all!”

As the doors slid open, Joanne quickly moved towards the elevators just to the left, and hammered down the button to call it down. After the doors opened, she rushed in quickly, and Jackie patiently followed. After being pulled to the second floor, Joanne quickly rushed to the door labelled “03” and started intensely knocking on the door.

“SEEEEEB! IT’S JOJO, OPEN THE DOOR!”

After being met with no response, Joanne mumbled “This is unacceptable.” and focused for a moment, then walked through the door itself. Jackie waited patiently outside, with only what she could hear on the other side of the door as her indication to what kind of shenaniganry was happening.

“How the hell are you sleeping, it’s 7 in the afternoon!”

“W-who said that?”

“Surprise visit!”

“JOJO? WHAT THE HELL!”

“Look, I need to-”

“GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT!”

A couple of crashes, some incoherent yelling. Eventually, the door clattered open, and Joanne fell to the floor with it, and Jackie got to see Seb for the first time. He had a mop of messy hair, and was completely clean-shaven. He was wearing a plain white shirt that was far too big for him, as well as a pair of shorts.

“Joanne, who is this?”

“Oh, this is my new friend, Jackie! Say, hi, Jackie!”

“Hi.”

Seb sighed. “Well, you can come in, the two of you. But for the love of god, please do not break into my apartment if you want to contact me!”

Joanne winced as she picked herself up “It was her idea.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“Nuh uh! You said to go visit!”

“I never mentioned anything in the realm of breaking and entering.”

“Can you two just come into my goddamn apartment if that’s what you want so much?”

Joanne and Jackie complied, and walked through the door. If Joanne’s house could be described as messy and poorly-maintained, then Seb’s place was an absolute hellhole. There was so much clutter on every single spot on the floor that Jackie was shocked that Seb could so deftly stride through without even touching them. He carried the pair to the living room, which also seemed to double as the bedroom due to the existence of a sheeted mattress in the centre of the room, and even that was not excluded from the clutter, as three bottles of pills lay on it, two closed and one open, with its contents spilling across the covers.

“I’m going to get properly dressed, just take a seat wherever” noted Seb, as he walked off to an adjacent room. Joanne sat down on the sofa, while Jackie sat on the mattress. After not long, Seb emerged, much more flashily dressed. He wore a light long-sleeved button-up camo-patterned shirt, with a puffy blue sleeveless jacket over it. From his neck there hung a wagon wheel pendant made of steel, and on his legs lay baggy jeans, with a slew of badges portraying bullseye symbols each with a different combination of three colours on them wrapped around the waist. His look was more steeled now, his body language more confident. He struck a pose, laying his right hand on his hap and his left poked out diagonally, and then, and only then, did he speak.

“So, what’s the occasion?”

Joanne sighed “Do you still have the… what did you call the thing… the “Mystery Coin”?”

Seb grinned, put his hand into his pocket, and pulled out a small wooden disc, which he then chucked towards Joanne, who caught it easily and flipped it over repeatedly in her palm. On one side, the phrase “For Mr. Bell” was burnt in, and on the other, there was a question mark.

“If I may inquire” interjected Jackie “What is this little trinket?”

“It was gifted to me by the denizens of Abbey Road” said Seb with gusto “to prove to me that-”

“To prove to you that there is still wonder in the world, yeah, yeah, you’ve said this a bunch of times.” Interrupted Joanne.

“Your little “friend” obviously hasn’t, now, has she?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I- Sorry. Sorry, Jackie. That was rude.”

“It’s alright. You explained what it was now, didn’t you?”

“I feel like you should be apologising to me, but whatever” mumbled Seb “Do you need it for anything?”

“We…” Joanne sighed “We saw it. Me and Jackie saw Abbey Road. It’s real, it exists, it wasn’t all a dream or a drug trip or whatever. This is your decadely win, so soak it up.”

Seb gasped “What… What was it like? Was it still as wonderful as I described? Where was it? How did you get there? Tell me everything, I need to know!”

Joanne sighed “Seb, it was… It was just a glimpse. But it was what you described. And I decided to come here to… to ask you for help. Regarding it.”

“There was an odd bald person” Jackie noted “They were the one who named it. And they seemed to remember you. Nudged us in your direction.”

“Wow, I…” Seb noted “I didn’t think they’d remember me. Every time I fantasised about going back there to live the rest of my days in that wonderful world, I would always ask “remember me”, and they would say “no” and then I would show them what a wonderful man I’d become and they would be so happy to how much I’d grown and… What if they have expectations about me? What if I’m not what they imagine I became? What if-”

“Hey” interrupted Joanne “I don’t care what they think. You only met those people for a day. Even if I’ve only met you from time to time ever since the band split up, I’ve seen you change and become what you want to be. And I think you turned out ok. And they probably think so too. Because I don’t care how messy you are, or what you look like or anything that you think didn’t turn out right, because I know what you are on the inside. You’re wonderful. And I don’t think that much can change that.”

Seb gave a weak smile “I- Thanks. I- Um- Yeah. Thanks.”

“You still up to talk about Abbey Road?”

“I want to do that more than anything else in the world.”

“What about bringing the conversation back to the bald person?” suggested Jackie “They seemed to have authority, and they were the one who guided us to you. They called themself Potluck.”

“I did remember a bald person” noted Seb “they were one of the two people I mainly interacted with. They made me a meal, talked things out with me, watched a movie with me, were the one to bring me home after the day was over… They didn’t call themself Potluck, though. To me, they were Dr. Deathdefying.”

“They probably go by a bunch of different aliases” noted Joanne

“Or maybe their name is Potluck Deathdefying” suggested Jackie

“That’s a fucking stupid name.”

“I mean, I’ve heard weirder” Seb interjected “There’s a kid in the class I teach called Rectangle.”

“Didn’t know you were in education, Mr. Bell” said Jackie

“Teacher’s assistant. More of a part-time job than anything really.”

“Well, I still think that’s a very important job.”

“I barely get paid anything…”

“Then maybe you would be interested in a sort of side hustle, would you not?”

“Oh, no.” Joanne interrupted “No, no, no, no Jackie you are not pulling Seb into this! I’m not… he’s not doing this! He is not-”

“Oh, lighten up, sweet. Just let him hear me out.”

“We are supposed to be talking about Abbey Road!”

“Perhaps this could help us out with that. You never know.”

“This has absolutely nothing to do with Abbey Road and you know that!”

“You’re scared, right? I don’t know much about what exactly happened with your old band, but you’re still caught up on the fact that he was a part of it.”

“No! I- I- I… I don’t know.”

“Joanne, are you…” Seb ventured “Are you planning to start playing in a band again?”

“It’s- It’s Jackie, ok? It’s her, it’s- It’s always her. Ever since she just fell from the sky right in front of me, she’s absolutely captured me! I want to play music with her, because she’s a genius! I want to spend time with her, because she’s perfect! Even when she makes the dumbest ideas and suggestions and, and, I don’t know, I just… She’s just… I don’t know.”

After a short awkward silence, Seb walked over to another room, and returned holding a bass guitar in his hands.

“Joanne, do you remember the song that we made?”

“...Vaguely.”

“Oh?” asked Jackie “What’s this song I’m hearing about?”

“Well,” noted Joanne, “Back when I was with Seb, we mainly just tried covering things. But we did try and make something original once. A “work” of our very own. Are you gonna play it, Seb?”

“Well, I changed it a little bit. Fixed up bits I didn’t like as much, so you probably won’t recognise it as well-”

“Hey. I changed some of my lyrics too. I’ll try and sing along, ok?”

“Is that really-”

“Just play, ok? Just wait and see what happens.”

And so, Seb’s fingers collided with the strings of his guitar. Repeatedly beating down on the strings set up a euphoric metronome. It set a dreary vigil, and yet still hopeful. A melancholic beat charged with love. With every note, an impossible emotion was transmitted, and thus the bassline was set. And with that, the heralded primal scream was released from Joanne’s lungs, ripping through the battlefield and linking up to the established rhythm. The clutter of the room immediately became irrelevant, because the only thing that filled up the room anymore was the duet. The connected souls reverberated through the room and into each other alongside their witness. You would think it impossible for such a thing to happen, for each edit that was made to perfectly line up with each other, and add up to culminate in a perfect product. But such a thing is second nature when two souls are in tune. After both players had exhausted themselves, the waves that had shocked the room still lingered in their hearts. Still catching her breath, Joanne let out strained words.

“Hah… hah… dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit. Dammit. You’re deadset on it, aren’t you? You’re gonna join our band?”

Seb just gave a weak grin “I’m still thinking about it. But I’m really thinking about it, more than I’ve thought about anything for a long, long time. I’m glad you visited, even if you… Wait, how did you even get in here?”

Jackie piped up “Oooh, ooh, Joanne! Joanne, should we tell him?”

Joanne grinned weakly “No harm in doing so, I suppose. Umm… Just let me show you.”

And with that. Joanne was gone. Or at least, in Seb’s eyes, she was. With her power, she became completely immaterial for a few seconds, and then released, and with that, she was once again visible.

“Cool, right? It’s called “Stand”, apparently. It’s some kind of superpower! Jackie has one too, but she can control magnetism instead of go invisible.”

Seb was agape, speechless. “I- wow. Does this- have anything to do with Abbey Road?”

“When Potluck, or Dr. Deathdefying, or whatever they’re called, named Abbey Road, it had this kind of… weight to it. Maybe its weird properties are due to a “stand” power being used on it, or maybe it is one. I just don’t know that much about them.”

“Well… wow. Can you just use it on yourself, or can you make other things invisible too?”

“I… haven’t tried, hold on.”

And so, Joanne reached down to pick up a book off the floor… but it wasn’t her arm that reached down. Instead, by some kind of second nature, she caused some kind of third arm to extend out of her shoulder towards the floor. It was clad in black leather, with a rubber armguard separated into three sections, with a spike reaching out of the middle one.

“What the hell?”

“Joanne, what’s up?” cried Seb “Is this more of your stand stuff?”

“There’s, like, an “arm” coming out of me! I can kinda… I can kinda control it. It’s like a third arm.”

“Try reaching out more.” suggested Jackie “Maybe there could be more to it.”

And so, Joanne did as such. She reached out with the arm more and… a body emerged.

The creature was humanoid, and clad in leather from top to bottom, just like the arm. On its torso, it was wearing a harness seemingly made of rubber, just as the armguard was. It formed an X-shape over the chest, connecting shoulder guards with spikes ripping out of them just like the armguards to rubber guards on the hips roughly resembling the shapes of holsters, although they had no slots to place things in them. On each of these “holsters” was a sticker, a yellow rectangle with “JO” simply written on it in purple. Each of the “lines” on the lower half of the “cross” had a small grey x engraved at their end, just before reaching the “holster”. At the very middle of the “cross”, there was a peace sign, glimmering as it seemed to be gilded. On the top-right line of the cross, there was a silver sticker with “L/N/C” written on it in black marker. These top lines of the cross were then connected to the shoulder guards by little “buckles”, with three different holes that vaguely made up the shape of a face. From these shoulderguards, tubes came out and connected to the sides of the neck, and were followed suit by one that came from the location that the adam’s apple would be, and reached down to just below the nape. And it was the neck that was the most interesting aspect, along with the head, as they were not leather, but metal, as the cool blue paintjob over it shined with the unmistakable sheen. On the cheeks, there were little purple rectangles, and there was a second dome over the head that was a slightly paler blue. On that dome was an upside down purple triangle, with a visor nudged inside, with four little blue black lines on it dividing it into six sections. Above this triangle, four purple grooves bumped out of the metal, while two came out from below. A third connected the two, forming the impression of a mouth. And, behind all of that, a glorious silver mane exploded from behind the head, waving through the air despite the lack of wind, completing the strange apparition’s glorious presence.

“Now what is that?” pondered Jackie

“It’s… it’s me” said Joanne “I… that spirit… that’s my stand. That’s me.”

“You should give it a name.”

“Do I have to?”

“All good characters give their powers special names” noted Seb

“What, like in Pink Dark Boy? Fuck that.”

“What’s this Pink Dark Boy?” Jackie asked.

“Oh, it’s just this shitty anime manga thing that Seb likes for genuinely no reason whatsoever.”

“Hey, you take that back! You know goddamn well why I read PDB!”

“Kachi or whatever his name is?

“KOCHI! He is such a perfect character and he does not deserve to be floundering in that horrible story with his shitty friends! He deserves love and affection and a story that doesn’t shit on him every other minute because in the world’s eyes some asshole is cooler than him!”

“Yeah yeah I genuinely don’t care.”

“I still think you should name your stand, though” Jackie noted.

“I… I think I already know. Yeah. I know what I’m calling it. It’s… a tribute. It’s a promise. It’s a symbol of unity. It’s a proof of power. It’s a declaration of war. It’s a memory. It’s… It’s me. It’s my stand… [WE WILL ROCK YOU]!”

<==To Be Continued After A Word From Our Sponsor==