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I've never met anyone as madenningly impossible as him. And we've never even met. Not yet at least. How can some be so furiously invigorating and how can they ignite me like this and the universe won't let me touch him. I have to keep saying not yet. Not yet. It's always not yet. My entire life has been a series of not yet. I want him to be a possibility. Maybe if we had been born centuries ago they would have immortalized him in statues and named stars after him. Maybe we would have had a chance then. We could have touched the stars and changed the world. Our names could have been forgotten in history but it would leave a wave that lasts centuries. Maybe I'm just now remembering him from other times. Other lives. Other possibilities. Maybe this time we won't get to touch each other but I did lifetimes ago. I'm sure of it. His touch still lingers somewhere on my body.
I'm a lover of impossible things. Whenever I look at him... Whenever I look at what could be. My heart sinks. Because I think "It's impossible" but there's a voice inside of me even smaller still that says "But what if it wasn't?" I pretend I don't hear it and try to close my eyes. But my waking dreams won't let me sleep. Even when the night is darkest.
And sometimes I think. Maybe that's not such a bad thing at all....