Work Text:
Remus lays crumpled on his bed, watching the clock on his watch tick down the minutes. He wasn’t doing well, and for the first time in years, his period had come back. He felt absolutely miserable. Like, want to rip your uterus out, miserable.
A few minutes beforehand, Remus was shocked to find that his boxers and bed were covered in blood. As horrifying as this was, what made it worse was that his roommates were unaware that he was trans. He wasn’t scared to tell them; he knew that they would be accepting; it just never came up in conversation.
So, there he was, desperately trying to get the stain out while also trying to be quiet enough to not wake up his roommates. Apparently he wasn't nearly quiet enough, seeing as he woke Sirius up. This was especially odd considering that Sirius was a heavy sleeper. During the third year, James floated his bed in the lake as a prank, and Sirius didn’t wake up until a few hours later. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy. His dramatic ass didn’t talk to James for a month afterward.
As soon as Remus hears Sirius wake up, he knows he’s fucked. He turns around to see Sirius' horrified expression. He couldn’t blame him; if he were in his shoes, he would be terrified as well. Sirius immediately starts checking Remus for wounds, not hearing his plea to let him explain.
"Are you okay?" Sirius asked.
"Yes, just let me explain..."
"Who did this to you? I swear to god, Moony, I will kill them."
Remus chuckles to himself.
"Why the hell are you laughing? You’re hurt." Sirius stutters, tears welling up in his eyes.
"Sirius..." Remus starts, "I’m not hurt, I’m trans."
"Oh," Sirius' expression shifts from concerned to understanding.
He gets it now—why Remus’s voice was so high when they were younger and how he had trouble doing exercise. He had always blamed it on weak lungs, but now he understands that his chest was probably aching from wearing a binder for hours on end. He suddenly feels terrible for forcing him to try quidditch. He knows deep down that Moony is his own person, and he can make his own decisions, but it still feels bad.
"Umm, okay. I’m going to get Madam Pomfrey to get you some products. You just lay down and look pretty," said Sirius, chuckling a bit to himself.
Remus blushed a bit, smiling gratefully, and started to move to his bed. He was so in love with Sirius that he would do anything for him. Anything at all. He watched as Sirius planted a kiss on his forehead and rushed out of their dorm. His face immediately turned into a tomato.
Now here he is, laying silently, waiting for him to return with his period products. It’s been a few minutes, but that makes sense considering how big the castle is and how far away they are for Madam Pomfrey. His thoughts are interrupted by Sirius bursting the door open. Remus assumes that he probably ran if he got here that fast. The thought makes him smile. Sirius' arms are full of items.
"Okay, so I got you some pads—I thought maybe you wouldn’t be comfortable with tampons because of gender dysphoria or something like that." Sirius speaks far too quickly, but Remus understands him regardless.
Remus can’t stop his face from breaking out into a grin. His heart and pride swell with the knowledge of how much Sirius cares for him. He giggles to himself like a lovestruck teenage girl.
"Oh! I also got you chocolate because I know how much Mary used to love it when it was her time of the month." Sirius finishes the sentence and beams at him.
Remus grimaces to himself at the mention of Mary. He had no right or reason to be jealous. They had dated years ago, and now Mary is in a happy, loving relationship with Lily. Regardless, he and Sirius are just friends, but he can’t stop his heart from swelling, this time out of jealousy. He takes the products from Sirius and gives him a curt nod.
He rushes into the bathroom with some clean clothes. As soon as he is safe from Sirius’s eyes, he starts bawling. He was overwhelmed by everything—the intense dysphoria he was feeling, coming out to Sirius, the mention of Mary, but most of all, how goddamn pretty Sirius is. As soon as Sirius steps into a room, his eyes are drawn to him. Sirius is metal; he is a magnet, and he would be helpless to resist.
He shuts those thoughts out immediately and starts cleaning himself up and getting changed. His clothes look like they’re from a fucking crime scene. He sighs to himself and makes a mental note to put hydrogen peroxide on them and wash them later. He sits on the toilet, putting on new underwear and a pad. He thought he was supposed to be done with this now. He’d been on testosterone for two years by now. After he’s finished, he looks at his watch and sees that it’s only 4 a.m. Thank God, he had enough time to clean this up. He exits the bathroom, and Sirius’s eyes are immediately on them.
"I put your sheets in the washer; I haven’t started it yet, so you can add some stuff." Sirius explains.
Remus nods and heads back into the bathroom to grab his bloody clothes and some cleaning supplies. He walks out to the common room and into the communal laundry. He puts his clothes in the washing machine that Sirius left for him. He pours some hydrogen peroxide and laundry detergent into the wash basket. He starts the washing machine and watches it spin for a couple of minutes. He realizes that he probably could’ve used magic to clean these, but sometimes the muggle way is better.
After a while, he returns to his dorm room and notices Sirius in his assigned bed. Remus is tired, but sleeping on the ratty (no offense, Wormtail) mattress with no sheets is terrifying. He’d probably get stabbed to death by the exposed wires.
Thankfully, Sirius opens his mouth and says, "We can share a bed."
Remus looks over at him like he just suggested something so absurd.
"It’s fine if you don’t want to."
"Yeah, sure, scoot over." Remus says as he's slipping under the covers of Sirius’s bed.
Sirius smiles and does as requested. He flips over and tries to sleep, but his efforts are fruitless. How in the hell does anyone expect him to fall asleep when his childhood crush and gay awakening are in the same bed as him? He once again flips over in an effort to make himself more comfortable. He does this and finds Remus’s eyes on him. His heart skips a beat as he looks at him.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Sirius smiles at him, and he feels the overwhelming urge to kiss him. Sirius was never good at concealing his urges. Sirius makes eye contact and leans in. He stays there and waits for Remus to close the gap between them. Remus waits a second too long, and Sirius begins to doubt himself. He didn’t for long, as Remus gently pressed their lips together. It was nothing like the novels he had read. Shakespeare had obviously never experienced a love like Remus'.
The kiss lasted a few seconds before Remus pulled away. Sirius looks at him with the most loving look in the entire world. Sirius pulls Remus into a hug and promptly falls asleep. Remus smiles softly at him and drifts off as well.