Chapter Text
It all started at a party.
It wasn't something he had done on purpose to meet him in particular, but seeing Hyunjin from afar dancing with his friends, he couldn't help but see that moment as an opportunity to approach him. Chan, his best friend, who was standing next to him, noticed his lost look, and as soon as he saw the object of his admiration, he gently nudged him with a mischievous smile.
“You should go and talk to him.”
It was an almost common conversation between them: Chan would catch him looking at Hyunjin, and would almost immediately start teasing him or pushing him to go to him. Felix, who had always been characterized for being more reserved than he seemed to be, always refused while covering his face in embarrassment and slapping Chan on the arm to stop teasing him. It had been almost a year since the first time he confessed to his friend who was his secret crush, the reason for his sighs, and in none of the hundred times they had carried out that dynamic had he dared to go through with his friend's challenge.
For some reason; maybe the alcohol buzzing in his veins, or the fact that he had done well in the midterm he had taken that day, that night he wanted to do something different.
“You're right.”
“Ah?" Chan turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow and an amused look. “Are you serious?”
“When aren’t I?”
His friend laughed softly as he lifted his drink to his lips and looked at him over the rim of the glass. Felix could see in his gaze that he didn't believe him and that only made his desire to do so grow.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Go ahead, I want to see it with my own eyes.”
Chan pointed to the group in the distance. The sound of music enveloped the place, the music trembled on the walls while the lights and smoke made the place as overwhelming as it was meant to be. People were colliding on the dance floor, some of them already making out with strangers, others about to, and a few comfortably dancing alone. It was Friday, which meant there were more people than any other day, so he would have to get through a sea of people before he could reach his target group a few feet away from him. Thinking about the smell of all the bodies emanating and strangers' parts bumping into his own made him reconsider the idea, but seeing Chan's smart-ass grin, he knew he couldn't back out.
“You'll see.”
He started to walk out of his safe bubble near the bar and his feet stumbled a couple of times before he could flow through the crowd. He felt several people tapping his shoulder to compliment him and flirt with him, but he ignored it all in favor of reaching his destination. With a grimace on his face, he began to remember why he had ended up there in the first place, being suffocated in a nightclub just to get to the man he liked.
The thing was, Hyunjin wasn't just any man. It was almost a cliché for people in his faculty (and even on the outside) to feel some kind of interest towards Hwang Hyunjin. No one could deny it: regardless of gender or orientation, everyone could agree that Hyunjin was one of the most attractive men in the university. Felix would go so far as to say even of the city, Korea, the entire world, or even the universe, though he had to admit that the feelings he had harbored for him for almost three semesters did not help him to have an unbiased opinion.
Felix had been lucky enough to be able to be on the same faculty as Hyunjin, and had been able to meet and talk to him a couple of times in classes they crossed paths. Hyunjin was widely recognized and praised for his dancing talent and staging, which made him even harder to ignore: everyone who entered the school ended up knowing about him within a week of joining, and those who left couldn't forget him easily either.
Hyunjin was only a semester ahead of him, which meant that there had been no shortage of opportunities for him to start a conversation. But Hyunjin was intimidating, as beautiful, charismatic and talented people like him always were, which was why Felix had never had the courage to address him other than to complain about something unimportant for a few minutes.
The fact that Hyunjiin didn't seem to stray too far away from his group of friends didn't help to take away this halo of exclusivity that everyone attributed to him. Only Minho was as famous as Hyunjin among them, although Minho was much more intimidating than him, which only made the situation more complicated. Felix knew his group of friends well, as at some point his obsession had once bordered on an unhealthy point, to the point of following them all on instagram. He was no longer at that point, but he could still name each of the five people in the group by name.
He finally reached the group after shaking a bit in a futile attempt to shake off the feeling of sweat from his body and took a long sigh before taking a decisive step towards the circle. Hyunjin, Minho, Jeongin, Seungmin and Jisung were standing at the front of another one of the club’s bars, discussing something that looked very funny, as Hyunjin's eyes formed crescent moons as he laughed and Felix couldn't help but stare at him in rapt attention for a few seconds. Perhaps too long, for when he came out of his stupor, those same eyes were looking at him curiously.
“Oh, Felix, right?”
Felix shook his head and offered his best smile, trying to look relaxed as his heart pounded vigorously in his chest.
“That's right, I'm sorry to interrupt.”
“No, it's okay," a voice said beside him, and when he turned his gaze he could recognize the owner. Han Jisung, one of Hyunjin's closest friends, if he could tell by the number of times they appeared in each other's stories. “We were just getting drunk.”
“Oh yeah, Felix, did you need something? Because I don't think Hyunjin can help you in this state.” A voice he recognized as Minho exclaimed as he extended an arm around Hyunjin's shoulders. “Unless the help you need is puke on your shoes.”
As if Minho had predicted it, a second later he could see Hyunjin grimace before doubling over and vomiting on the ground very close to where Felix was standing. Minho's guess would have been perfect, if not for the fact that an arm at his side pulled him back just in time to save him and he turned to thank Jisung with a smile.
“No! My reputation! My popularity! My image!" Hyunjin cried dramatically, about to drop to his knees on the floor. Minho managed to stop him, still with one arm around his shoulders and straightened him up again as much as he could.
“I told you you should eat something before you came.” A new voice joined in, and as he turned his head he recognized Seungmin.
“Leave me alone, Mom.”
“I think we should take him to the bathroom before…” The last boy, whom he recognized as Jeongin, stopped his words as he jumped back as he saw Hyunjin retching again and by some kind of miracle, the vomit ended up on the floor again, despite Minho's proximity. It seemed that even drunk Hyunjin knew to avoid causing him any inconvenience.
“I don't think that will be the last time," Jisung remarked beside him, his hand still on Felix's arm as he looked at Hyunjin in disgust.
Felix watched as Jeongin and Minho carried Hyunjin towards another location, probably the bathroom, while murmuring words of support to him. Felix watched sadly as his chance to get closer to Hyunjin slipped through his fingers and let out a sigh as he turned his gaze to the ground. He immediately regretted it and grimaced as he looked at the pool of alcohol on the black disco floor.
“That was…”
“Disgusting? Horrible? Embarrassing? Hard to watch?" Seungmin offered as he drank from his glass. Felix shrugged with an awkward smile and Seungmin let out a small laugh as he tapped his shoulder. “Don't worry, we've seen worse.”
“Like the time Hyunjin tried to flirt with a tree?”
“Or with a lady in an old people's home....”
“Or with Minho's father…”
“Wow.” Felix let out an airy laugh and lifted his arm to scratch behind his neck. He hadn't noticed that Jisung was still holding him until he felt her hand fall from his arm. “You guys seem to have a lot of stories to tell.”
“You can't imagine, I could go on all night.” Seungmin dropped his hand from his shoulder and leaned back against the wall before looking up at him with a smile. “So you're Felix, huh? I've heard a lot of things about you.”
“Really?" Felix opened his eyes with excitement, and a thread of hope began to weave in his heart. “Like what?”
Seungmin looked down at his glass for a second before fixing his eyes on Jisung. Felix couldn’t catch the latter's gesture before Seungmin began to shake his head with an amused smile.
“Nevermind, forget it.”
“Oh…”
“It's just that Jisung is kind of your fan, maybe he should tell you.” Seungmin seemed barely able to hide his amusement as he took another drink, and Felix turned his gaze to the boy next to him, who had turned the other way with his hands hiding his face.
“My fan?”
“He's exaggerating!" Jisung uncovered his face and Felix could see the growing blush on his face, the embarrassment evident in every part of his expression. “I've only seen all your covers and…”
“Oh? You... know about that?”
It wasn't a common thing for someone to know about his TikTok dance channel. Felix believed that his fifty followers were just Chan following him on different accounts, so it was a total surprise for him to meet a "fan" other than his sister or his parents (who didn't even bother to watch his videos)
“Yes, Hyunjin showed them to me once.”
Something new stirred inside him when he heard that last sentence. Hyunjin, The Hwang Hyunjin had not only seen his videos, but had liked them enough to show them to his friends. He felt a mixture of pride and shyness, and it was then his turn to blush.
“Oh, I see.”
“Then Jisung saw them a second time, and a third, and a fourth....”
“Shut up!”
“And a fifth…”
Before he could continue, Felix watched as Jisung lunged at Seungmin while covering his mouth, his cheeks colored crimson as he pushed his friend against the wall. Once they were done with their grappling, Felix cleared his throat. Once he had both of their attention, he smiled broadly before saying:
“I really appreciated your support, I never thought anyone would like those videos.”
“You're kidding?" Jisung approached him with a big smile. “It's the best thing I've seen in years. And my two best friends are professional dancers too.”
“Oh, Minho's not going to like hearing that.”
“Well, you're not going to tell him.” Jisung gave Seungmin a sharp look and Seungmin just rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. “And neither is Felix, right?”
Jisung's eyes looked at him big and bright, and only then did Felix allow himself to look at the boy in front of him. His cheeks were rounded, his blond hair combed back made him look oddly tender despite the nature of his style and the rest of his all-black clothing.
His lip curved to one side before he replied.
“How could I tell on my biggest fan?”
Felix couldn't react fast enough before Jisung's hand fell on his chest as he pouted at him, and he let out a laugh as he covered his mouth with his hand.
“Stop it!” Felix laughed even louder, and this time he was joined by Seungmin, which made Jisung cross his arms and look at them with narrowed eyes. “I'm going to unfollow you.”
“Oh no, is this my first scandal?”
"TikToker teases one of his fans and gets cancelled at a party" Seungmin recited while gesturing with his hands as if reading the title of a newspaper article.
"Lee Felix's latest scandal" Felix followed, his smile so big that it was starting to hurt at the corners of his mouth.
Seungmin and Felix began to laugh more and more, and Jisung didn't last long in his annoyed position before following them. They lasted like that for a few minutes, their laughter enhanced by the alcohol, until Jeongin came back from the bathroom and looked at them quizzically.
“What are you laughing at?”
“At your face," Seungmin said with a straight face, or as straight as he could muster as he wiped the tears under his eyes.
“Ha ha.” Jeongin slapped him gently on the shoulder before crossing his arms. His body position clearly showed how drunk he was, his posture staggering as he placed his arms in front of his chest. “Minho and Hyunjin left in a cab towards Minho's house.”
“Great, now we just have to figure out how to get home ourselves.”
“Felix, from one to ten, how sober are you?" asked Seungmin while pointing at him with his index finger.
“Ahh, three?”
“Okay, we're lost, because Han is at a two at the most, and I'm at a five. Jeongin?”
“I don't know why you're asking, neither of us have a car to drive.”
“Okay...
“You guys can stay at my place, if you want?" Felix proposed with a hint of doubt in his voice. He didn't know how he had gone from wanting to talk to his crush to offering his house to three other people, but it didn't seem too risky. “I live with Chan about a block away from here, so....”
“Oh, my goodness.” Jeongin leaned forward and caught Felix in his arms. “Our savior.”
“Why did you come back here?" Seungmin asked as he pulled Jeongin off of him with a grimace. “You could have gone home with Minho and Hyunjin.”
“I needed to let you guys know what had happened.”
“A text or a phone call would have been enough?”
“I like the way you think, those are the thoughts of a wise man.”
“You hadn't thought about it, had you?”
“Or maybe I just wanted to see my beloved friends before going to sleep, hadn't you thought of that?”
Seungmin rolled his eyes and pushed him gently before motioning towards the door. They all started walking towards the exit through one of the less crowded places, and Felix texted Chan to meet them at the door.
Chan-hyung
I'm not going home today, sorry
By the way, I saw what happened
I'm so sorry, mate
Felix let out a sigh as he looked to the front, where he could see Jisung trying to give Jeongin a kiss on the cheek as Jeongin pushed him away, all while they both struggled to walk to the exit without falling down.
Lee Felix
It could have been worse
By the way, don't be surprised when you see three more people in the house tomorrow morning.
Chan-hyung
??
Felix put his cell phone in the back pocket of his pants once he felt the chill of the night caress his face. He reached out his arm to guide one of the boys in the trio without him falling into the door and once they were both outside, he began to lead the group to take them home.
“Hey, why did you decide to come to us today?”
Jisung's voice made him look to his side, the same big, bright eyes from before looking at him curiously. Felix shrugged, as he thought of an excuse other than "I wanted to see if I had the courage to talk to the man of my dreams once and for all."
“I don't know, you looked like you were having fun.”
“Really?" Jisung looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and a look full of disbelief. “One ball of anxiety, three rude boys, four if you count Hyunjin, what could be fun about that?”
“I don't know, it's kind of charming," he replied with a smile and Jisung laughed beside him without saying anything else.
They walked in silence for a few minutes. In the background they could hear a fight between Seungmin and Jeongin that didn't seem serious at all, and Felix noticed at that moment that he had enjoyed his stay in the group, short as it had been, beyond his crush on Hyunjin. It seemed more exacerbated by the fact that the latter had only been with them for five seconds before leaving.
Felix sensed a nervous energy coming from Jisung, as if he wanted to say something, though he didn't mention it until Jisung seemed to decide to speak.
“You should come have lunch with us next time.”
Felix could see the apartment complex where he lived with Chan in the distance, which distracted him momentarily before he responded. He turned to look at Jisung as he processed his words and watched him with eyes full of surprise, but more importantly, hope. He thought of Hyunjin, as beautiful as ever, and imagined for a moment what it would be like to be close to him, to be his friend, and if he was lucky enough, to be something more.
“Can I?" he tried to hide the effect the invitation had had on him, though his eagerness was evident in his voice.
“Of course you can," Jisung laughed as a bright smile filled his face. “You don't even have to ask.”
Felix smiled back, and a few steps from the door, the hope that had left him when Hyunjin abandoned the circle returned, settling back into his heart.
“We’re here.” Felix couldn’t contain his excitement, one that perhaps the others would not fully understand as he typed his password into the gate. “Welcome to my home.”