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The loft is quiet. TK is at work and Carlos is alone with nothing to do because he is recovering. In his opinion, this recovery is just stupid because he feels perfectly fine, but the department benched him for two weeks and his fiancé was categorical that he could not go back to work so soon after he had faced death itself. So, he is home alone and he thinks he could explode unless he doesn't find something to do until TK comes back. He decides to cook something, maybe some vegetarian chili, the one that TK loves. He gets all the ingredients together, washes his hands and gets ready to take a knife from the knife block when he freezes.
He feels his whole body vibrate as his eyes scan the cutlery, his heartbeat becomes faster and his breath short. His vision blurs and he has to hold on the kitchen top before his body gives up. He can't move.
He feels the cold metal of the knife Trudie pointed at his throat. He sees TK in the security camera, he remember his blood turn cold when Trudie took the knife for precaution when she opened the door, the way he wanted to scream at TK to run away. He thinks at the sensation of his heart stopping. He died. For minutes he has been dead.
He loses balance and he slips on the floor, hands in his chest because he can't breathe. He can only feel panic while the imagines of his kidnapping spin into his head.
I died. I died. I died
“Babe.” TK's voice is muffled, distorted in his ears.
He sees his fiancé approaching him but he can't focus on him, he can't do anything apart from hyperventilating.
“Babe. Carlos, I need you to breathe with me,” TK says, taking his hands in his, “You have to inhale from your nose, hold for three seconds and exhale from your mouth. Do it with me, babe, come on.” he instructs, voice soothingly and focused.
Carlos tries to concentrate on TK's voice, on their joined hands, on the warm touch that TK's is giving him. He follows his orders and inspires through his nose, he pauses and then he exhales from the mouth. He repeats the process, his vision focusing more and more on TK's green eyes.
“Yeah, like this, baby, you're doing so good.” his fiancé encourages him, softly, squeezing his hands reassuringly.
Carlos takes more breaths, he tries to calm his heart. Slowly, he manages to contain the panic. He can clearly see TK's worry in his eyes, and when he tries to stand up, he stops him.
“No, wait. Give yourself some more time.” he suggests, putting his hand in his neck and massaging him.
Carlos nods and lets the touch smooth him, his breathing and his heartbeat are back at a normal pace and he doesn't feel the grip in his chest anymore. After few minutes, he tries to stand up again and this time TK helps him, guiding him to sit on the couch. He clings at his fiancé shirt and inhales his smell like he is learning how to breathe, tears start forming in his eyes.
“You are okay, baby. I'm here. Let it all out.” TK says, voice full of sadness.
Carlos lets the tears fall, flashbacks of those terrible moments playing under his eyelids. He can't forget the nauseous smell of cookies, the sting of the bands in his wrists – he still has bruises for those – or the pain in his forearm when the Morphine in his body started to run.
“I saw you in her security camera. I wanted to- she had a knife,” he sobs, hugging TK impossibly tight, “I-I died. You had to bring me back.”
“You were so brave, babe. You fought so hard to free yourself and to come back to me. I'm so proud of you,” now TK is crying too, sniffing in Carlos' hair with desperation. “You are here now. We are together.”
Carlos moves to look his fiancé in the eyes, “Thank you.” he whispers.
TK shakes his head, “You have nothing to thank me for, I'm here for you just like you've been there for me in the past.” he says softly, giving him a kiss in his forehead.
“I love you.” Carlos affirms, more calm and collected.
TK eyes are watery but Carlos can see in them his deep and strong love that his fiancé feels for him. It is so genuine, so beautiful that Carlos starts to cry again, this time not because he's scared, but because he has TK and they are fine and happy. They support, protect and love each other unconditionally, and even if they have traumas to deal with they can do it together. He turns in his fiancé arms and joins their lips in a kiss that says more than a thousand words.
When they part, TK is smiling, “I love you, too.” he says, resting his forehead against Carlos'.
They lull each other in the peace of their bubble some more, the silence only interrupted by some sniff or whispered words of love. They have faced a lot – together and apart – but as long as they have each other, they can win against anything. They are a pretty good team, after all.