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She stared dully at her reflection. Her skin had grown much pale. Almost sickly. Her eyes sunken in from the last week of no sleep or food. The last time she so much as held a cup of water had been…she can't even remember.
She couldn't recognize herself. She didn't care. The emptiness she’s fought for the last month filled her chest. Nothing felt real. She felt detached from herself. Her thoughts drifted through thick fog and she didn't have the energy to find a flashlight.
A knock at the door. She blinked slowly. She knew she should move. Answer it. Anything, really. But she felt frozen in place. Like she’d been submerged in tar, holding her in place. It was…comfortable.
So she said nothing. Another knock. Her head felt empty, full of cotton. “Rue…? I'm gonna come in, ok?”
Come in? She blinked then slowly moved her head to look a the door. It was like she was put in slow motion. Like a heavy blanket was draped over her. As promised, the door opened and Maddy stood in the doorway.
She looked upset. Rue looked back to the mirror. “Your mom called me to check on you…”
Her cheeks were sinking in. she wondered how long it would take until they lost all the weight. How she could look being held up only by bone. A hand landed on her shoulder and she glanced at it through the mirror.
When had she moved to her side? Did it matter? She supposed not. “Rue? Come on, let’s go to bed. You look exhausted.” she sounded sad again. She let herself be guided to the bedroom. The walk was blurry, she couldn't remember how she got in bed, much less how the blanket wound up over her shoulders.
She knows Maddy was there, though. She turned like a sloth. She wasn't in bed. Closing her eyes, she gave up on trying to figure it out.
That was until the door opened and light stabbed her closed eyes. “Here, sit up”
Something tapped on her nightstand, sounding suspiciously like a plate followed by the ‘tink’ of a glass. She opened her eyes. Maddy was holding her shoulders, guiding her to a sitting position.
The food was placed on her lap. Mac n cheese. She looked up at Maddy. She looked back, a troubled frown on her face. “Take a bite.”
Looking down at the food, her stomach hurt. She felt nauseous. Her hand stayed at her side. “Do you need me to feed it to you?” she asked, her voice trembling as if she just learned her mother passed away.
Rue looked up at her. Watched her swallow. Watched her lean closer, grabbing the fork. Watched her fix her position so they were facing each other. A forkful of mac n cheese was held before her.
“Open.” She took a bite. It tasted flavorless and it made her feel dizzy. But Maddy’s hand drawing comforting circles on her thigh kept her from falling back. Every bite was a painful chore, but she did it.
The plate was half empty quicker than she could process. Water was pressed to her lips and she took small sips. Her stomach felt painfully full. Her throat felt better than it had in days. “Good job, rue.” Maddy was smiling. Rue smiled back in her mind's eye.
Her expression stayed the same, no matter how much she willed otherwise. Finally, the plate was cleared and the cup was empty. Maddy guided her back down, snuggling herself under the blanket with her.
Pressing her back against rue’s front, she reached for rue’s hand. She pulled it over herself and interlaced their fingers.
“I love you,” Maddy whispered.
Rue took a deep breath, breathing in the smell of Maddy’s perfume. She pulled Maddy closer. “love you,” she mumbled back. For the first time in ninety-six hours, Rue fell asleep.