Archive of Our Own

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you followed Tony off the aircraft. Matt stuck close to your side, his cane moving silently as he navigated this new location. Betty was close behind you, Pepper beside her, Hope in the back. Your footsteps seemed to echo through the structure, making what you tried to pass off as quiet footfalls sound like gunshots in the silent hallway where the group was walking. You reached a shaky hand to press against Matt’s, and he gave your hand a squeeze. 

“It’s okay.”
“I don’t feel okay.”
“What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, opening your mouth to answer, going silent instead. You lunged forward and grabbed Tony, yanking him backwards. He looked to you with wide eyes and you could feel your body trembling. You shook your head, voice shaky and full of panic. 

“You—you can’t. Something’s not right. I don’t—I don’t feel—“

Betty gently pushed her way to you, taking your shaking hands. 

“Easy. Take a breath.”
“Betty, something’s wrong.”
“This whole situation is wrong. Everything is wrong right now, honey. We’re here to make it right.”
“Bet—“
“Shh. Just breathe.”

You closed your eyes as your sister pulled you closer. You put your face in her shoulder as she held you, gentle hands rubbing up and down your back. After a moment, Betty spoke again. 

“They don’t get visitors here, except Dad, I’m guessing. They won’t be expecting us, but they’re not going to attack. That’s why Tony’s leading, remember? They’ll recognize him and know this isn’t an ambush.”
“What if Dad did something?”
“Like what, honey?”
“I don’t know. What if he pressed a button and this place swallowed them up?”

Betty smiled as she gently pushed you back, smoothing her hands down your bare arms, her smile widening at the goosebumps that broke out over your skin. 

“It’s chilly in here.”
“I should have brought a jacket.”
“Maybe they’ll have an extra. Only one way to find out.”

Betty took hold of your hand, gripping it tightly as she turned and nodded to the rest of the group. Your exhale was shaky as the group tentatively continued their trek forward. You saw a light at the end of the hallway, giving Betty’s hand a squeeze to keep yourself from running to the light. You closed your eyes, trusting that Betty would keep you safe, giving in to the image you saw every time you closed your eyes. 

Steve, smiling down at you as he held you in his arms. 

Steve with his eyes closed and a smile on his face, trying to convince you he was still sleeping. 

Steve with compassion in his eyes the time your store was broken into and you cried at the mess and the feeling of failure that he wouldn’t let overtake you. 

Steve trying to hide his smile when you went to the store the next morning to find shatter-proof glass in the door and a state of the art security system. 

Steve hovering over you as the two of you made love the night before your world collapsed. 

Steve staring at you with pure terror in his eyes as you held tightly to the shield he’d thrown with all his might, his horrified eyes the last thing you saw before your world went dark. 

You whimpered and tugged on Betty’s hand, taking a step backwards. Matt turned towards you, but Betty made you continue walking. You knew what she was doing, and even though a part of you still wanted to be mad at her, deep down, you knew her hands had been tied. She did everything she could to keep it together, to keep you close, and all the blame was on the General. 

“Betty.”
“Come on, honey. We’re almost there.”
“I love you.”

She stopped, turning to look at you. Concern filled her blue eyes as her eyebrows furrowed and you smiled as tears welled up in your eyes. 

“I forgive you.”

Betty’s eyes widened as she gave a slight shake of her head. You took both of her hands in yours and squeezed them. 

“I get it. I know why you did what you did, and I don’t blame you. I probably would have done the same thing.”
“No, you would’ve—“

You shook your head, cutting her off as a tear slipped down her pale cheek. 

“You were doing what you’ve always done, Elizabeth. Taking care of me. I get it, and I appreciate what you did to keep me safe. I love you, and I forgive you.”

Betty bit back a sob as she leaned forward and took you in her arms. You closed your eyes and hugged her back. 

“Do we need to do a group hug or can we end this little therapy sesh and continue on?”
“Tony.”

You giggled at Tony’s nearly audible eye roll and Pepper’s soft admonition. You nodded, sticking close to your sister as the group finally came to the end of the hall. Tony glanced back, eyes scanning the group before he met your eyes. You gave him a nod, and he stepped into the light, with you close on his heels. 

“General, we weren’t expecting you again so soon …”

The woman walking towards the group went completely still as soon as she realized the General wasn’t her guest. She shook her head, the fiery braid of her hair flouncing just the slightest. 

“Oh my god. Tony?”

He nodded and she ran forward, eyes wide and mouth open as she and Tony embraced. She stepped back, holding him at arms’ length, shaking her head again. 

“I don’t … what’s going on?”

You peeked around him and watched the woman’s eyes land on you. The color drained from her face as she gripped Tony’s arms, and he winced. 

“Ow, Romanoff. Easy.”
“Oh my god. What … how?”

She shook her head again as she looked up at Tony, eyes wide. Tony gave her a crooked smile. 

“It’s a long story, and one we don’t want to tell more than once. Circle the wagons, kiddo. We’re busting you out.”

Natasha Romanoff gave a choked laugh, gripping Tony in a hug once more. She stepped back, cool facade back in place. 

“Most of us get free reign to walk around, but Barton got mouthy on the General’s last visit.”
“Solitary?”
“Close enough.”

She pointed up, and you followed the gesture. Two floors up, face pressed against the glass of a cell, stood Clint Barton with a big grin on his face. He waved and you couldn’t help but smile as you waved back. Natasha stepped away from Tony and gave an ear-piercing whistle, causing you to flinch as footsteps sounded. 

“Hey, what’s …”

A smile came over your face when you saw the dark-skinned man jog to a stop beside Natasha. He blinked as he studied you and Tony, shaking his head. 

“What is this?”
“Rescue mission. Good to see you, Wilson.”

Sam Wilson smiled as he shook Tony’s hand, laughing as he pulled him into a hug. 

“Never thought I’d say this, but you are a sight for sore eyes, Stark.”

Tony smiled and laid an arm across your shoulders. You met his eyes, then looked back to Sam and Natasha. 

“We’ll tell you everything, I promise, but … did my dad come by recently? Did he drop off someone else?”

Sam rolled his eyes. 

“You mean the kid who never—and I mean never— shuts up?”

Tony pursed his lips. 

“Sounds like him.”
“Mister Stark!”

You and Tony looked to the first floor up, where Peter Parker was leaning on the balcony, frantically waving. A dark-haired woman stood beside him, skin pale as she stared at you. You blinked, taking a step forward. 

“Wanda.”

You watched as she grabbed Peter’s arm, light glowing red around them as they floated to the bottom floor. Peter hurried over to you and Tony, grabbing one of each of your hands. 

“Boy, am I glad to see the two of you. Miss Ross, your dad is—“
“A real bastard, I know.”

Peter’s eyes widened as Tony chuckled to himself. He pulled his hand from Peter’s, giving his shoulder a squeeze as he looked to Natasha. 

“How do we get Barton out of his cell?”
“Don’t you want to see his rendition of the Cell Block Tango?”
“Is that what got him in there in the first place?”

You giggled as a man you didn’t recognize walked into the room. 

“Hey, you’re Tony Stark.”
“Oh my god.”

You glanced back when you heard Hope’s whisper, watching her run from where she, Betty, Pepper, and Matt were waiting. The man before you widened his eyes, catching Hope as she ran to him, holding her tightly. 

“Hope?”

She pulled back and gave a watery laugh as he cupped her face in his hands, touching her face and her hair as if he couldn’t believe she was standing before him. Hope grabbed his hands and held them tightly, leaning in to kiss him. You looked away as your cheeks warmed, glancing up to see Sam Wilson standing beside you. 

“So that must be Hope.”

You nodded. 

“And that must be Scott.”

Sam nodded, moving to step in front of you. 

“I know we haven’t really met, but how … how are you here?”

You gave a sad, shaky exhale. 

“It’s a long story, and I swear I’ll tell you, but …”

You looked around, speaking softly. 

“Where’s Steve?”

The room went suddenly quiet, and you felt your heart stutter in your chest. Tears came to your eyes as you looked from Sam, who was suddenly focused on the ground at his feet, to Natasha, who wouldn’t meet your eyes. Wanda also wouldn’t look at you, and Peter’s eyes were bouncing from one person to the next. You heard a throat cleared behind the crowd in front of you, and as they stepped aside, Clint Barton gave you a nod. 

“I can take you to him.”
“Is he okay?”

Clint’s smile was sad as he held out a hand to you. 

“Just come with me.”

You turned to look at your sister, who nodded to you. Tony stepped forward and laid a gentle hand on your back. 

“We’ll go with you.”

You nodded, taking Betty’s hand as the three of you followed after Clint. Tony whistled low and Clint turned to face you. Tony shook his head before he spoke. 

“How’d you bust out?”

Clint grinned. 

“Ventilation system.”
“You’ve been crawling around the vents?”
“How do you think I figured out where to take you now?”

You moved a hand to press against your roiling stomach. 

“Is Steve okay? I mean, obviously not, but … why isn’t he able to walk around like everyone else? Did—“

You gasped, stopping suddenly. The men stopped to turn to you, and Betty grabbed your other hand. You stared into her blue eyes, then looked over her shoulder at Clint. 

“They didn’t … refreeze him or something, did they?”

Clint gave you that same sad smile. 

“No, honey. They didn’t.”

You watched his jaw clench and you closed your eyes. The silence that followed spoke volumes. Tony hung his head and you tried so hard to keep the tears that threatened at bay. Betty gently rubbed your back until you were able to nod at Clint. The three of you followed him down a long hallway, then down a few flights of stairs. You shivered at the cold temperature, exchanging a look with your sister. Clint stopped at a large door, turning back to face you. He motioned towards the door with his head. 

“There’s a hallway and some stairs, but you’ll find him.”
“Clint—“

He shook his head. 

“You just need to go.”

He turned away from you and you watched him for a moment, then turned to the door. You pushed it open, hearing Betty and Tony’s footsteps follow behind you. You stopped at the bottom of the stairs, just before a doorway where a dim light was shining. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath as a memory washed over you. 

“I don’t know about this.”
“Oh, come on. This is nothing!”

You swallowed, slowly letting your eyes slide from the ground to the top of the Ferris wheel. Your head bent back so far that you stumbled a bit, but Steve was right there, catching you and pulling you back against his chest. He ducked his head, lips at your ear, and you closed your eyes as you listened to his voice softly rumble through his chest. 

“We don’t have to. We can go home instead.”

You opened your eyes. 

“No, let’s do it.”
“Honey, we—“
“Come on, Cap.”

You took his hand and all but dragged him along. He paid the man at the booth, and the next thing you knew, you were riding on the Ferris wheel. You were good until—of course—the ride stopped with you at the top.  

“It’s beautiful out there.”

You couldn’t speak because you were honestly afraid you’d throw up. Steve had a soft smile on his face, and he lifted his arm, tucking it around your shoulders and pulling you close. You put your face into his thick shoulder and he gave you a gentle squeeze. 

“What have I always told you, baby? I’ve got you. Nothing’s going to hurt you as long as I’m around.”
“What if the wheel falls and we crash to the ground?”
“I got you. I’ll cushion your fall.”

You turned towards him and he moved a hand to your chin, gently pushing it up before pressing his lips to yours. You kissed him back, gasping softly when the wheel began moving again. 

“See? Nothing bad happened.”
“You always keep me safe.”
“Always, babe. And don’t you forget it.”

You opened your eyes, clenching your jaw and swallowing hard. You took a deep breath and walked through the door, immediately coming to a hard stop. 

The dimly lit room was enormous. In the middle of the room was what appeared to be a circular cage, glass panels all around for a 360-degree view inside and out of the cage. A podium of what appeared to be a control panel stood across from the cage, and you fought back the urge to vomit. You took a shaky step forward, footsteps echoing like gunshots through the silence of the room. Bright lights suddenly illuminated the room and you heard a weary sigh from inside the cage. 

“Back so soon?”

His voice was deep and rough, gritty-sounding, but cut through you like a knife. You turned to face the cage, finally laying your eyes on Steve Rogers after two years. 

Your mouth fell open when you took in his shirtless form, as gaunt as a super soldier with Erskine’s serum running through his veins could look. His hair was long and shaggy and a thick beard covered the lower half of his face. He wouldn’t lift his head, until a shaky exhale left your lips. His blue eyes were dull and almost lifeless, but when he noticed you, a faint spark appeared as his lips quirked in a semi-smirk before he schooled his features. 

“This again. Got to hand it to you, General. This one’s pretty lifelike.”
“What are you talking about?”

He closed his eyes, a smile coming to his lips. 

“Oh, this one even sounds like her.”

You shook your head, glancing back when you heard your sister’s whispered statement from the door. 

“Oh my god.”

You looked from the door where Betty stood horrified back to the cage to see Steve still staring at you. He slowly got to his feet, making his way to the panel of glass in front of you. He lifted his arms to lay his hands against the glass above his head, eyes never leaving you. You stared at him, his massive biceps, the chiseled muscles of his chest and abdomen, his thick thighs in sweats that had seen better days but were now torn and shredded at his calves, his bare feet. You took a step back and looked up, studying the top of the cage. 

“The podium’s your best bet. Anything you want to do to me, you can find it there.”

You met his eyes, then noticed the collar around his neck. A red light was blinking on it, and you swallowed as you shook your head. 

“I don’t want to do anything to you. I want to get you out of there.”

Steve smiled sadly. 

“I know you do.”

He hung his head, muttering to himself. The words were barely audible, but you heard them as if he screamed. 

“God, it sounds just like her. That’s what she’d say if she were really here.”
“I am really here.”

Steve nodded, lifting his head to look at you again. You stepped closer to the cage, going onto your tiptoes to reach over the platform. You laid your hand against the glass and saw the emotions swirl in Steve’s eyes. He crouched down, laying his hand against the glass on the other side of yours. You stared into his eyes, saw pain fill the blue until he spoke. 

“I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You have to know, I would have done anything to take your place. I wish I would have died instead of you.”

You blinked, shaking your head. 

“No, I … I didn’t—“
“It’s okay. Whatever you have to do, it’s okay. I deserve it.”

A chill rolled down your spine as you took your hand off the glass and stepped back. Steve kept his hand where yours had been, but his eyes followed you. You went to the podium, absently rubbing your hands together as you studied the buttons and switches. You lifted your head to find Steve standing again, hands shoulder level against the glass. 

“What do the buttons and switches do?”

Steve lifted a shoulder. 

“Depends. One makes it rain ice water. A couple send some shocks through here.”

He tapped a finger against the collar around his neck. 

“Most of them just mean pain.”

You swallowed, lifting your eyes from the control panel before you to the man in the cage. 

“My dad … he’s been torturing you, hasn’t he?”

Steve nodded. 

“And he’s made you believe you deserve what he’s done to you?”

A soft smile came to Steve’s face. 

“I do deserve it. It’s my fault you’re gone.”

You slowly nodded. 

“There’s just one problem with your thinking.”

You lifted your eyes to his, a smile coming to your own lips. 

“I’m not dead. And my father isn’t here now. You’ve more than paid your penance and it’s time for you to go home.”

Steve’s eyes widened as he watched you press both hands against the podium, heard the snaps and groans as you broke the control panel. You both looked up as the hum that was ever-present in the background went silent. You walked back to the cage, opening the door. Steve stared as you walked up the stairs onto the platform, stopping right in front of him. You lifted your hands to the collar around his neck, and he closed his eyes as you pulled, a sharp exhale leaving his lips as you tossed the two pieces of the now-broken collar off to the side. Steve opened his eyes to stare at you, shaking his head. 

“I don’t understand. What … what’s happening?”

You smiled, tears coming to your eyes. 

“I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head again, reaching out and laying shaky hands against your cheeks, cupping your face in his hands. 

“Oh my god.”
“Hi, Steve.”

He blinked almost furiously as his fingers tightened on your face. You reached up and grabbed his wrists, a soft laugh leaving your lips as you moved even closer to him. You watched his chest begin to heave, the disbelief shining in his eyes as he stared at you. 

“You died.”
“No, honey.”
“The general said—“
“He lied.”

Steve stared at you, shaking his head again. 

“No, I … I was there, in—in the hospital. They put … they put you in a coma and I was holding your hand and you started …”

He shook his head. 

“I don’t know, but they took you away from me and said you would never wake up again.”
“But I did.”

Steve met your eyes again and when his hands dropped to your shoulders, you reached shaky hands up, a smile on your lips as a tear slipped down your cheek. You cupped his face in your hands, the beard on his cheeks soft against your palms. 

“I’m here. I’m alive and I’m here and no one will ever take me from you again. I swear it.”

A choked sob left Steve’s throat as he pulled you in, wrapping his arms around you and holding you so tightly you could barely breathe. It didn’t matter, though. You held him just as tightly, sobbing as you pushed your fingers through his hair before holding his head near yours. The tears on your face mixed with the tears he was crying, cradling your head while still crushing your body against his with his other arm. 

“I don’t understand.”
“I know.”
“You’re really here.”
“I am.”

Steve turned his face into your hair. 

“The General brought you here a few times. Well, not you. A hologram, but you always disappeared before I could touch you.”
“I’m so sorry, Steve.”

He gave a wounded noise from his throat, whispering to you. 

“Say it again.”

You smiled, shifting even closer to him, pushing your fingers into his hair. 

“I love you, Steve.”

He pushed you back just enough to look into your eyes, and you closed yours as he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to your lips. 

You gasped when he swept you into his arms, wrapping your legs around his ridiculously tiny waist as he pushed you against one of the panels of glass that made up his cage. He pulled back, breaking the kiss, and you blinked open confused eyes to find him staring at you, eyes full of worry as he spoke quickly. 

“Oh my god. Are you okay? I’m sorry, I—I didn’t realize what I was doing.”
“What are you talking about? I’m fine.”

Steve shook his head, and you glanced over your shoulder to find the glass behind you cracked. Steve tried to let go of you, but you tightened your grip on him. He stared into your eyes, and you shook your head. 

“I’m okay. I actually …”

He furrowed his brows as he watched you and you sighed before twisting the slightest bit. You hit the glass with your closed fist, the two of you watching as the cracks splintered from your point of impact up and down before it shattered and fell onto the floor. Steve blinked as he stared at the shards glistening in the dim lighting, pulling you a bit closer as he took a step backwards. He lifted his eyes from the glass, then met your eyes again, speaking softly. 

“That’s new.”

You nodded, and he gave your body a gentle squeeze before helping you slide down to your feet. You put your hand in his, careful to avoid the broken glass as you led him out of the cage. He shook his head, tossing his thumb over his shoulder at the cage. 

“When … how…”

You smiled. 

“Yeah, it’s confusing to me, too. I can tell you the whole story on the way home, if you want. It’s kind of long, but we’ve got a bit of a trip.”

Steve nodded, tilting his head as he looked at you. He took a step closer, his hand reaching for the shirt you were wearing, rubbing the hem between his thumb and forefinger. 

“Where’d you get this shirt? Seems a little big.”

You couldn’t help the smile that came to your lips. 

“I found it.”
“Where?”
“In your closet at the compound.”

Steve’s smile was soft and sad, and you stepped closer to him. 

“I just needed a piece of you close to me.”

He nodded, meeting your eyes when you gave a shaky exhale. 

“I missed you. Even when I didn’t know you, I missed you.”

Steve nodded, his voice thick and hoarse. 

“I’m here now.”

You nodded, moving as he bent towards you, closing your eyes as he held you in his arms. You looped your arms around his back, putting your face in his neck. One of his hands moved to cup the back of your head and you tightened your hold on him, digging your fingers into the muscles of his back.

The ride home was surprisingly quiet. Clint, Natasha, and Sam spoke with Tony and Pepper, keeping their voices quiet. Peter gave Matt the third degree, and Betty sat close to them with an amused smile on her face. Hope and Scott were lost in each other, much like you and Steve. You were sitting across from him, bent over so your knees were touching his. He had both your hands held tightly in his, also bent over so his forehead rested against yours. Every now and then, one of you would lift your heads, staring at the other until you came back together, soaking in the feel of each other. 

Betty dropped you and Steve at your house, with a promise to talk tomorrow. You’d simply nodded and held Steve’s hand as the two of you walked up the front steps and into the house. You let go of his hand to set your keys down and lock the door, and when you turned back, you watched his eyes as he studied the room. 

Emotions were swirling in his blue eyes, bouncing from one piece of furniture to the next, memories flooding his senses until he dropped to his knees and fell face first to the carpet, hands clenched tightly in his hair. You rushed to him, kneeling beside him and laying one hand on his back. 

“Hey, easy. Take it easy, big guy. It’s alright.”
“No it’s not.”

He sat up, resting back on his heels, face red and soaked with tears. He shook his head, staring incredulously at you. 

“This is a dream. This is a sick dream and I’m about to wake up back in that goddamned cage, soaked with fucking ice water before the shocks shoot through me. Or else I’ve died and gone to Heaven, but I know for damn sure I don’t belong there, and it’s all about to be ripped away again.”

You shook your head, tears sparkling in your eyes. 

“No. No, honey, this is real.”

He shook his head. 

“You’re dead. Ross told us you’d died in surgery and it was all my fault.”
“He lied. I didn’t die, Steve.”
“I was holding your hand when your brain started swelling or something, and you died while they tried to fix it.”
“No. They did fix it, but I was in a coma for a year.”

He went still, barely even breathing, the only obvious movement a tear rolling down his cheek. 

“What?”

You swallowed, shifting off your knees to sit on the floor. 

“The brain thing … I don’t really know what happened, but they fixed whatever it was. But then I … I didn’t wake up.”

Steve slowly moved to sit the same way you were. He slid back until he was against the wall, and you slid until your back was against the back of the couch. You lifted your shoulders as you continued. 

“Betty tried everything. Experimental surgery, experimental treatments. Nothing worked. I woke up as the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Day.”

You looked down at your hands, voice softening. 

“I didn’t remember what had happened. I didn’t remember anything from the last eight years of my life. I didn’t remember—“
“Me.”

You lifted your eyes to his, slowly shaking your head. Steve slowly nodded, realizations hitting him, lifting his eyes to you as you whispered. 

“I couldn’t remember you, but … I kept hearing your voice. I’d get flashes of times we were together, but I … I missed you. Even when I didn’t know who I was missing, I knew there was a hole … in my heart.”

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling. 

“It’s like you were right there at my fingertips and I never could grab hold. There was something missing and I could never figure out what it was until Hope van Dyne sent me comic books.”

Steve raised an eyebrow and you swiped a hand under your eyes. 

“The comics were stories of the Avengers. The Hulk, Iron Man. Captain America.”

Steve glanced at the floor and you gave a shaky exhale. 

“Dad had basically erased you all from society. You weren’t around, so he tried to make it like the Avengers never existed.”

You shook your head. 

“Peter Parker was the one drawing the comics. The stories were real, and every time I read one, something in me knew it was true.”

You shook your head again, looking down at your hands. 

“Something about you was so familiar, and I … I knew there was more to the story that no one would tell me. I found Peter, and he sent me to Tony, and everything came to a head when Dad tried to give the shield to someone else.”

Steve lifted his head and you gave him a soft smile. 

“I lost it. I didn’t really know why I was freaking out so badly, but I walked out and drove to Betty, and she brought me here. She handed me the shield, and when I touched it, everything came flooding back. I remembered you, the last eight years. I even remembered the attack.”

Steve sucked in a breath at that and you shook your head. 

“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Y/N—“
“It wasn’t your fault. You tried to save me.”
“I almost killed you.”
“Almost.”

You crawled to him, stopping before you touched him. He stared into your eyes, tears in his own. You shook your head and gave him that soft smile again. 

“I knew you would come. I knew everything would be okay, because I knew you were going to save me.”
“I threw the shield and it gave you so many injuries.”
“But I survived. You didn’t mean to throw the shield at me.”
“But I did.”
“No, you threw it at Brock. You couldn’t know that he’d push me into the line of fire. You never would have thrown it at him if you’d even thought I’d be hurt.”

Steve hung his head and you lifted a shaky hand, resting it on his shoulder. 

“You’re not at fault here, no matter what my dad’s been telling you for the past two years. Steve, you saved me, just like I knew you would.”
“But you—“
“No, honey. None of this is your fault. I’ve never held you at fault and I never will. You have to forgive yourself.”

Steve let out a broken, tired sob as he straightened his legs, reaching out and gathering you into his arms. You clung to him, wrapping yourself around him the best that you could, holding him as tightly as he was holding you.

“God, I must smell awful.”

You gave a quiet laugh. You were in Steve’s lap, curled against his chest. 

“It’s not too terrible.”
“You’re just trying to be nice.”

You laughed again, running a hand over the shoulder of his borrowed shirt, one Tony had given him when they climbed onto the jet. 

“Do you want to take a shower?”
“Please.”

You nodded, climbing out of Steve’s lap. He stood beside you, laying a hand on the wall. He hung his head, groaning softly. 

“Hey, you okay?”

He nodded, eyes closed. 

“Just a … little dizzy.”

You blinked, again noticing how—even with the super soldier serum in his veins—he seemed frail and almost gaunt. You touched the knob of one of his ribs, blinking again as you situated yourself against his side. He slid an arm around your shoulders and you walked with him down the hall to the bedroom, then into the bathroom. You left him beside the sink, going to the shower and turning it on. You noticed a bench in the shower, not knowing where it had come from, but you assumed Betty. You got the water to a warm but not scalding temperature, then turned to Steve. He was still leaning against the sink, still dressed. 

“Steve?”

He lifted his head to you and sighed. 

“I can’t … I feel really weak.”
“Do you want to do a bath instead?”
“No, I just … can you help me?”

You smiled. 

“Of course.”

You walked to him and helped slide the shirt up his torso, biting your lip as he groaned. You untied the sweats, sliding them down his legs, feeling your cheeks warm when you noticed he wasn’t wearing any underwear. 

“Will you throw those away for me? Or burn them?”
“Yes.”

Steve sighed, wincing as he tried to walk for the shower. 

“God, I feel like I used to, before I got the serum.”
“Hang on.”

You pulled his shirt over your head, pushing your pants down and off. You moved your hands behind your back to undo your bra, lifting your eyes to see Steve staring at you. You blinked, speaking softly. 

“Is this okay?”

He nodded, and you spoke just as softly again. 

“Would you rather I leave them on?”
“No, please.”

You gave a quiet chuckle, unfastening your bra and sliding your panties down your legs. You sidled up to Steve again, the two of you slowly making your way into the shower. Steve groaned when the hot water hit him, and you closed your eyes as the dirt washed from his body down the drain. He kept holding onto you, and when he swayed, you coaxed him to sit onto the bench. You lathered up a washcloth, scrubbing his skin as he leaned to help you. When he was clean, he softly whispered, asking you to scrub him again. You did, taking your time and gently cleaning every inch of his skin. 

You washed his hair and his beard, and he watched you until his eyes drifted shut. You quickly washed yourself as he sat on the bench under the still-warm water, and you smiled as you turned the water off and discovered he was dozing. You climbed out and wrapped a towel around yourself, grabbing another and gently waking him. He stood with one hand on the wall as you dried him off, wrapping the towel around his waist as the two of you walked back to the bedroom. You sat him on the bed, moving one hand to caress his cheek. 

“You must be exhausted.”

He nodded, and you sighed. 

“I know you have to be hungry.”
“I just … will you lay with me?”

You nodded, letting your towel drop, removing his. Steve laid back against the pillow, wincing as he shifted on the plush bed. You crawled in beside him, one hand going to his chest as you laid your head on his shoulder. 

“Whatever you need, Steve, I’m here.”

He nodded, wrapping an arm around you.

“Stay with me.”
“I’m right here as long as you want me.”

He nodded again, eyes closing as he shifted closer to you. You slid your hand into his thick hair, gently running your fingers along as his scalp as he slipped into sleep. 

Sleep didn’t find you as easily. You found yourself staring at Steve as he slept, your heart aching. His sleep wasn’t peaceful; he jerked, alternating between holding you tightly and putting distance between you, moaning softly, breaking your heart even more. 

You felt the anger you had towards your father start to grow and fester, heading toward full-on hatred. You didn’t want that, but you also knew you could never forgive the General for what he’d put Steve through. And that was the crux of it all: he tortured Steve, while allowing the other Avengers free reign, despite their imprisonment. 

You gave a shaky breath, reaching up to brush your fingers through his hair. 

“I’m so sorry, Steve. I’m sorry I didn’t remember sooner.”

You sniffled before you realized you were crying. You laid your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes, letting the steady beat of his heart lull you to sleep. 

You woke before Steve, opening your eyes to find that you were the big spoon. You smiled and pressed a kiss to his shoulder, slipping out of bed and pulling on your robe. You walked into the kitchen, going to the refrigerator and sighing. 

Empty. 

You found your phone in your purse and plugged it in to charge, pulling up the local grocery store’s app and making an order for delivery. You puttered around the kitchen and living room until the groceries were delivered, making yourself a sandwich after you put them away. You checked the time on the microwave and furrowed your eyebrows. It was mid-afternoon and you hadn’t heard from Steve. 

You made your way back upstairs, peeking into your bedroom. Steve was asleep, rolled onto his side with his back facing you. You leaned against the door, watching the slight rise and fall of his shoulder as he slept. 

It broke your heart, to be honest. He probably hadn’t had a chance to rest like this since you were taken. You closed your eyes, swallowing hard before shaking your head. You stepped into the room and closed the door behind you, dropping your robe and crawling back into bed beside him. You sucked in a breath when he rolled towards you, gathering you in his arms and holding you close, his head on your pillow now. You smiled and laid a hand on his arm, closing your eyes. 

You woke when it was still dark outside. You hadn’t bothered to turn your head to look at a clock; you just stayed where you were, laying on your back with Steve wrapped around you, his head pillowed on your breasts. The feel of his breath against your skin was comforting, and you slowly started pushing your fingers through his hair. He gave a satisfied hum, tightening his hold on you. You smiled, opening your eyes when Steve lifted his head, sleepy eyes blinking as they landed on you. 

“Hey there.”

Steve grunted as he stretched, yawning widely. 

“What time is it?”

You rolled your head to look at the clock. 

“Three in the morning.”
“Oh, man.”
“Honey?”

Steve met your eyes again and you smiled. 

“You’ve been asleep for about thirty hours.”

Steve’s eyes widened. 

“What?”

You nodded, lifting a hand to push through his hair again. 

“I couldn’t bear to wake you. I, uh … I figured you didn’t get much sleep out there.”

Steve’s tongue poked out to wet his lips before he nodded. He glanced down, then pushed himself to a sitting position. He moved to the side of the bed, then stood, laying a hand to the nightstand, then various pieces of furniture as he made his way into the bathroom. 

You sat up in the bed, pushing your hair out of your face. You bit your bottom lip, giving a shaky sigh as you crawled out of bed, wrapping your robe back around you. 

Maybe Steve would feel better if he had some time alone. Maybe you could sleep down the hall and give him some space. You nodded to yourself, even as your heart felt like it was breaking. You walked down the hallway to the guest room, pulling back the covers and fluffing the pillows. 

“What are you doing?”

You sucked in a breath when you turned back and saw Steve in the doorway. He’d pulled on a pair of gray sweatpants and had one hand gripping the doorframe. He raised an eyebrow and repeated his question, and you glanced at the bed before you quietly answered him. 

“I thought you might want some time to yourself. Some space.”

Steve slowly nodded, keeping one hand on the wall as he walked to you. He stopped right in front of you, and your eyes closed as the warmth of his skin surrounded you from his close proximity. 

“Let’s get one thing crystal clear.”

You nodded, meeting his eyes, losing your breath at the intensity of the blue. 

“I spent two years thinking you were dead. That I’d never see you or touch you or kiss you ever again. I have spent all the time alone I will ever want.”

His hands moved to your hips and you closed your eyes, body almost heaving as you laced your arms around him, sucking in a breath when he held you as tightly as he could. 

“I don’t want you anywhere but right beside me. Okay?”

You nodded, putting your face in his neck. After a moment, you leaned back, smiling as you lifted your hand to his cheek, the unfamiliar beard tickling your palm. Steve closed his eyes, leaning into your touch. 

“I should shave.”
“I think you should eat first.”

He nodded, and you kept hold of his hand as you led him down the stairs. He walked slowly, one hand holding yours, the other gripping the bannister. You were worried about him, as weak as he was, but you knew food would help. You helped him sit at the table, and you went to the fridge. 

“I got some groceries while you were sleeping. Anything you want me to make?”
“Whatever you want.”

You looked back to him, saw his soft eyes as he watched you, and you nodded. You went to the pantry for some rice, got chicken from the fridge, and broccoli off the counter. In time, you had a meal, not too bland, but not as flavorful as you usually made it. You brought the plates to the table and Steve swallowed as he gave you a tight smile. You laid a hand on his wrist and he met your eyes. 

“You don’t have to clean your plate. I just want some nutrients in you.”

Steve nodded, taking small bites of the rice, then the broccoli. He shook his head as he touched the chicken with his fork. 

“I don’t think I can eat this.”
“Okay. You don’t have to.”

Steve nodded, gingerly eating more of the rice. You set your fork down and moved your chair closer to his. He set his fork down and closed his eyes, resting his forehead on your shoulder when you leaned closer to him. 

“I want to take you to the hospital, get you checked out.”
“I’ve got the serum.”
“I know. But what you’ve been through is … traumatic. I’ve got a … sort of friend that’s a doctor. I want her to look at you and tell me you’re okay. Or at the very least, tell me what to feed you without hurting you.”
“Okay.”

You closed your eyes at his soft agreement. You swallowed and spoke softly. 

“Not going to put up a fight?”

Steve shook his head, never lifting his forehead from your shoulder. 

“I’ll do whatever you want. Fighting isn’t worth it.”

You turned your head to kiss his temple, then rested your head against his. His next softly spoken sentence made you smile. 

“Maybe we could also swing by a barber.”
“Anything you want, honey.”

You paced back and forth in the hallway, twisting your hands together and trying to calm your racing nerves. Steve was in with Christine Palmer, and she was running some tests. 

“Y/N?”

You looked up and exhaled sharply, hurrying down the hall and hugging your sister. Betty held you until you stepped back and you could see the worry on her face. You gave a shake of your head. 

“They’re running some tests.”
“What do you need?”

You smiled. 

“Some company.”

Betty smiled back at you, motioning to the chairs set up along the wall. You walked with her, the two of you sitting. After a moment of silence, Betty spoke softly. 

“Talk to me, honey.”

You shook your head. 

“He’s so … fragile. Weak. I’ve never seen him like that and it scares me. Trying to imagine what Dad must have put him through…”

You shook your head again, staring down at your hands. Betty reached over, laying her hand atop yours. You met her eyes, shaking your head once more. 

“I will never forgive him for this.”
“I know.”
“He had no right.”
“He didn’t.”
“How could he let Steve believe I had died? That he was the one who killed me?”

Betty sighed. 

“I don’t have the answers to that. I don’t understand why myself.”
“He’s always hated the Avengers, but I never thought he’d do something like this.”
“Miss Ross?”

You stood up at the sound of Christine Palmer’s voice, and Betty stood beside you. Christine gave you a smile. 

“You can come in now.” 

You looked at Betty, who smiled and patted your back. 

“I’ll be right here.”

You nodded, following Christine down the hall to an exam room. You stepped into the door, seeing Steve on the table, eyes closed as his chest rose and fell. You swallowed and he turned his head, tired blue eyes finding yours, a smile coming to his lips. 

“There she is.”

You walked over and laid a hand against his cheek, leaning to kiss his lips. You took his hand and looked back to Christine, who was smiling. She took a breath and straightened. 

“He’s malnourished. It’s going to take some time to build his strength back up. The serum is working, but it can’t do everything.”

You nodded, and she continued. 

“I’ve got a list of foods for you to try, to ease him back into health. You don’t want to start with double cheeseburgers or pizza.”

You smiled, glancing to Steve, who shook his head. You gave a quiet laugh before turning your attention back to Christine. 

“Ease back into physical activity. Take short walks, then build on them.”

You nodded and Steve gave your hand a weak squeeze. You looked back to Christine, and you could tell something was on her mind by the look on her face. 

“What?”

She blinked, then put a smile on her face. 

“Can I speak to you alone?”

You glanced at Steve, who held your hand a little tighter. You shook your head, looking to her again. 

“Whatever you have to say, you can say it to both of us.”

Christine nodded, a soft smile on her face. 

“This concerns you, not him. Well, actually … it does.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and Christine continued. 

“Do you remember the tests I was running on your blood?”

You nodded, smiling at Steve when he squeezed your hand, hoping you conveyed the message of “I’ll tell you later” through your eyes. You looked back to Christine and she sighed. 

“I figured it out.”

You took in a breath as you waited. 

“Your blood is almost an exact match to Steve’s.”

You blinked, giving a slight shake of your head. 

“I don’t … I don’t know what you mean.”
“Y/N, I don’t really know how to explain it, but you have the serum.”

Steve sat up at that, staring at the doctor. 

“What?”
“It’s true. Her blood and your blood match nearly one hundred percent.”

You blinked and tried to remember how to breathe. It made sense. The sudden strength, the enhanced senses. You didn’t completely understand it, but it had to be true. 

You had Captain America’s serum in your veins.