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Will was nine years old when he first met Ambrosii. He was seven, a small gangly thing with big eyes and big ears to match. His parents had just died only a month before and the Academy had taken him in with barely enough time for him to cope. When Will first saw him, he was hollow with his mourning.
When it came to the accident, all Ambrosii had ever told Will was that he and his parents had been driving one day and his parents didn’t make it. Will didn’t ask any questions, just gave Ambrosii’s shoulder a squeeze before taking him back to their dorm where they could play a game of cards. Every once and a while, Ambrosii would talk about his mother, despite the Academy’s warnings (They saw family as a distraction).
Will never had parents. His first memories were of an orphanage and the streets of Moscow. He had been the same age as Ambrosii, only seven years old, when the Academy had found him and taken him into their training programs. He never liked it, but he never had much of a choice. It was the Academy or starvation.
Since the Academy groups kids together based on their varying skills, Ambrosii had been tested before he was assigned to Will’s group. They tested kids physically and mentally until they knew exactly where to place them at the Agency, after they finished training at the Academy. Or whether to drop them altogether. Will never let himself think about what happened to the kids who were dropped.
Ambrosii had tested well in languages, already fluent in Russian and English with basic understanding of Welsh. He contrasted well with the others in their group. Will was considered mainly good with hand to hand combat. Cenred was good with long range weaponry. Sefa had a knack for computers. Eira was the leader and a strategist.
It didn’t take long for Will to become attached to the younger boy. Other schools, it would have been an odd to be friends outside your age group, but in the Academy one had to make alliances even at this young age. They might have called each other friends, but that was a luxury neither of them could have in the apathetic world of the Academy.
So he and Ambrosii stuck together. They looked out for each other and helped each other in training and in the field. Ambrosii had always been kind, too much for their instructors’ liking, but that never had stopped him. Will would see his smile and he would feel lightened, as if he had forgotten that there were such things as jokes and games. But he always had Ambrosii to remind him.
Then, when Ambrosii was thirteen and he killed his first target, the light went out of his eyes. He stopped smiling. It didn’t matter how many times Will reminded Ambrosii that the man he had killed had also done his fair share of killing, Ambrosii still looked haunted.
Will tried to do the same thing Ambrosii had done for him, laugh and joke. He tried to remind Ambrosii that he was good of heart. Most of the time it actually worked, lifting Ambrosii’s sour demeanor until the next mission. They kept up each other’s spirits as much as they could, in a place like the Academy where even allies could be enemies in disguise.
In its own way, everything was balanced. They would watch each other’s backs and keep the smile on each other’s faces for as long as they could. All was good. Then Will had to go and get killed.
~~~
They were in an undisclosed country, deep in a hot and sticky rain forest. They flew via helicopter where the forest cleared to reveal a high security prison. Will wasn’t privy to the mission directive and was only told to follow orders. Don’t ask question. So he did. And that’s what got him killed.
Eira, as the team leader, had split the team into pairs. The problem with having an odd number of agents on their team though, was that one person was left to watch his own back. Unfortunately that person was Will, despite Ambrosii’s protests to have a group of three. But Eira was the leader and she said she needed Will on the outskirts to keep watch, so Will did as ordered. He grumbled about it but did as he was told. In the end Eira had been right to keep Will on the outskirts. His bullet made the mark, but so did the other man’s. It wasn’t until the bullet was in Will’s gut that he really wished he had had someone to watch his back.
As he laid on the dirt, the bugs flew above his head. Only a moment before the damp heat had felt overwhelming, but now it felt like nothing as his body became colder and colder. He wondered if the team would figure out something had gone wrong and find his body, or if his body would be discovered by the locals. He knew Eira or Cenred wouldn’t care if he went missing, but Ambrosii had sway in the team and he would go looking for Will.
Will must have passed out because the next thing he remembered was Ambrosii above him and damned flashlight in his eyes. Ambrosii had blood on his face and he briefly wondered if it was his own or Will’s. Probably Will’s. He didn’t feel like he had an ounce of blood left in him.
“Will. No. No. Come on, you have to stay awake. We can get you to a hospital. It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.” Ambrosii was rambling. The idiot. Of course they weren’t going to a hospital. The team was supposed to be in and out of this unidentified country without a trace. Will was amazed that Eira wasn’t having a fit because Will was leaving too much DNA behind in the form of all his blood.
“It’s okay, Ambrosii.” Will said, his voice oddly soft in the jungle’s heat.
“Damn it, Will. I’m supposed to be comforting you. You’ll be fine, you lazy sack.”
Will coughed and he felt like his entire nervous system flashed in pain. “Promise not to have too much fun without me.”
“Not without you.” Ambrosii was sobbing. God, Will hadn’t seen Ambrosii cry since he was eight. Not to mention that he hadn’t seen him show this level of emotion in a long time.
“Ambrosii.” His breath hitched and he could barely focus his eyes. He could hear his own voice cutting off as he rasped for his final breaths. “Be careful, okay? Damned people out there are fucking idiots. If- you get your head blown off- come back from the grave ‘n’ kill you myself.”
Will tried to grab onto Ambrosii’s hand but he could barely feel his own hand. Ambrosii’s squeezed tightly and Will was grateful for the warm pressure. Grateful that Ambrosii’s hand would be the last thing he felt instead of the pain.
“Will, you can’t leave me here. I can’t do it without you. I can’t. I can’t.”
Will wasn’t sure when his heart finally stopped beating, but he was positive when Ambrosii discovered it. The keen of mourning was something that Will’s soul would never forget.
~~~
Will remembered lingering by Ambrosii. He saw as his own eyes were closed by a gentle hand. His soul saw what his body hadn’t seen in his last few moments: the team gathered a few yards away as they let Ambrosii have his final moments with his friend. He saw Ambrosii pick up his corpse and carry it back to the helicopter, despite everyone’s protests.
All the way back at the Agency, Will saw the way Ambrosii still carried Will’s death like a terrible weight on his shoulders. In that moment, he hated that he had died. Not because he had lost the chance at life, because what kind of fucked up life had he had in front of him? No. He hated that he had died, not for himself at all. Now there was no one to lift Ambrosii’s spirits and that was a tragedy that made Will’s lifeless heart ache.
~~~
It had taken a while, but in a way, Will was kind of glad he had died. He knew Ambrosii would have never escaped the Agency if Will was still alive. After Will’s death there was nothing to hold Ambrosii back. So when two years passed and Ambrosii gave the Agency the middle finger, Will had thrown a little party in the world between Heaven and Earth.
He had seen that Ambrosii was finally free and Will made peace with his own death. He didn’t look back to the living world.
~~~
Until someone visited his grave for the first time.
No one had ever visited his grave. He had never questioned it until that moment.
In the Agency’s graveyard, a simple hall of urns under the Agency’s headquarters, a man with blond hair stood next to his grave. Will’s urn was mounted on the wall in front of the man, only a simple plaque beneath it. Will’s name, rank, his year of birth and death. Down the hall, a door opened and another man walked through the Agency’s graveyard. The man, tall and lean with messy dark hair, walked up to the other man. He looked at the grave and ran his fingers over Will’s name.
“Hey, Will.”
Will almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
‘Ambrosii.’ he said to himself, knowing that the man could not hear him. When Will had died, Ambrosii had only been fifteen years old. The concept of Time was was lost in this odd place called an afterlife, but another fifteen years must have passed since Will’s death.
Ambrosii was all grown up and Will could barely believe his eyes.
“Will.” Ambrosii laughed and Will was happy to hear the sound after so long. “How I’ve missed you. A few things have happened while you decided to go off into the clouds with Saint Peter.”
Will laughed. It was long ago when Will and Ambrosii had said that Hell’s fiery pits would be waiting for them, yet here was Ambrosii believing that Will was in heaven. Perhaps he was. Or maybe he was getting there, one step at a time.
“Who knows what you’ve seen while looking down on me.” Ambrosii joked. “Don’t act like you haven’t. You always had to make sure I was okay, you mother hen.”
‘Excuse you.’ Will crossed his ghostly arms. ‘I am not a mother hen. You were a dumb kid that needed mothering. There’s a difference.’
“Anyways.” Ambrosii continued, not knowing that Will had answered him. “I’m not really sure where to start. It’s been so long. Everyone calls me Merlin now. Long story.” He huffed out a laugh. “Don’t be angry, but I’ve also joined the British.”
‘You what!?’ Will exclaimed, hoping his urn shook a little to show his anger. It didn’t.
“They took me in, Will.” He said, as if he knew exactly what Will would think. “We always said if we could get out of the Academy we would never have this kind of life, but when I left the Agency believe me a lot of things became clear. I didn’t instantly decide this was my new life. It took a long time…”
‘You’re a British agent now.’ Will said to himself with a huff. ‘Well at least they treated you right. Better than the damned demons at the Agency’
“And I’m sorry I never came to visit you.” Merlin continued. “I couldn’t bear to look at this urn and think… I still miss you, of course. But it’s easier, now to think of you. Of my past.”
‘Missed you too”’ Will said, wondering if tears were possible now, after all these years.
“So I came to see you. Who knows if I’ll be able to come back here again.”
Ambrosii- Merlin, that is- took the blond man’s hand. Will saw the way Merlin’s shoulders straightened, as if it gave him strength.
“I wanted to introduce you.” There was a soft smile on his lips, “Don’t be angry, but you weren’t my best man at the wedding… This is Arthur. Don’t give him grief because he’s English.”
‘Damn right, I’ll give both of you grief. ‘You got a posh git for a husband.’ Will said, not really meaning it.
“And yes, I already know he’s a complete ass, don’t worry. But I love him and he makes me happy and… I trust him. I trust him the way I never thought I could and only you would know what that means to me.”
‘I do know.’ Will sighed, watching Merlin and Arthur, hand in hand. ‘I do. He better be good enough for you.’
Arthur stepped forward and rested a hand on Will’s plaque. It felt like a sturdy handshake. “I will make sure he does not trip and get himself killed.” He said in simple Russian.
‘I changed my mind, I like him.’ Will said as Merlin laughed at Arthur.
“Just so you know,” Arthur said in a whisper, as if to only Will, “He still makes up weird insults.”
‘Thank God he didn’t lose his insanity.’ Will rolled his eyes.
Merlin smiled at Arthur, “I have a feeling you and Will would have hated each other.”
‘Probably’ Will said at the same time Arthur did. What an ass.
Merlin set his hand on Will’s plaque one last time, and it felt like the last warm pressure of Merlin’s hand in Will’s before he had died. Will sighed and he knew he wouldn’t see his friend again. Will was finally moving onto the next part of his afterlife. Will was glad to have seen Ambrosii- Merlin- finally settled. Not just free from the Agency, but happy with a life of his own.
“We have to go, Merlin.” Arthur said.
“I know.” Merlin sighed, pressing his hand one last time to the plaque. Will didn’t want him to say goodbye and he was glad when he didn’t. Merlin had said what he needed to and then the rest he had said with his presence.
Will felt himself fade as he moved out of the living world for the last time, only the pressure of Merlin's hand as his final goodbye.