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“You’re ok to manage from here? You sure you don’t want me to come help you get settled?”
His manager’s words sounded skeptical, and Minghao completely understood why.
“I’m sure. I’d like some time alone. I’ll bug Joshua when I need something,” he insisted. Being alone was probably a terrible idea, being down one arm and on as many drugs as he had been in the last 6 hours, but he didn’t care. If he wasn’t locked in his own bedroom with nothing but the sound of his own breathing and a book in his hand in the next 5 minutes, he was fairly certain he might actually lose it.
“I’ll call you in a few hours. Get some rest.”
Please don’t . “Thanks,” Minghao said, forcing the Korean words through his teeth feeling like an utter chore. He closed and locked the door behind him and kicked off his shoes. The lights were off so it was likely Joshua wasn’t home, and Seungcheol was away visiting his parents for the week. All the better, he thought. He made his way to his bedroom, the familiar scent of his oil diffuser already relaxing his senses, and realized that while Joshua’s bedroom light was off (certainly he wasn’t home - he slept with his fairy lights on), his own was on. Strange. He was sure he’d turned it off before he’d left early that morning. Perhaps Joshua had gone into his room to look for something. The man might be brilliant, but his biggest character flaw was his inability to turn off lights. The pair of roommates had never fought properly before, the closest being over said character flaw.
For that reason, Minghao should have known he wouldn’t accidentally leave his own bedroom light on (he blamed the painkillers) nor should the sight of his best friend lying on his bed have been an unexpected one. His head was a mess, ok?
“Hao,” Junhui jumped up off the bed as though he’d been struck by lightning. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
Minghao had half a mind to make a stupid joke about how a life’s worth of modern dance training made him extremely light on his feet and therefore, perfect for sneaking up on others, but he couldn’t manage the words. He was exhausted beyond belief, his shoulder hurt and he felt done in every sense of the word. Of course these feelings, rather than put themselves into words, manifested as tears. Jun saw it before Minghao felt it, and pulled him carefully into his arms.
“Oh Hao,” Jun said softly, adjusting him into a better position in his lap so that he could bury himself in Jun’s chest without hurting himself further. Once there, the floodgates opened and Minghao sobbed, wailed, and ugly cried. And Jun let him, holding him tight, chin atop Minghao’s head as he rubbed soft, soothing circles into his back and whispered calming words in Mandarin.
To Minghao, being alone and being with Jun nearly amounted to the same thing. Since the day they met, the pair had held a special kind of bond that Minghao was fairly certain he’d never had or would have with anyone else. As chaotic as Junhui could be, the calming presence that came with him when the two were alone was absolutely unmatched. Minghao loved being alone - as an introvert in a group with twelve other people (he loved them, he really did), alone time was necessary to preserve his sanity. But having Jun with him was even a step better. The others laughed at him for it. They knew he needed time to himself, but they’d always laugh when Jun said he was coming with him, stating that wasn’t alone time if Jun was there. But it didn’t count. In fact, it was better. The two could coexist in the same space without talking, interacting and everything just felt right with the world. He loved Junhui in a way he could never put into words. But he didn’t need to. Jun knew it, and Minghao was sure it went both ways.
Minghao didn’t know how long he cried, only that Jun’s shoulder was more than damp when his sobs finally subsided.
“Better?” Jun asked, running his fingers softly through Minghao’s hair.
Minghao nodded. He wasn’t better, per se, but he felt the relief that came with crying.
Sometime during his meltdown, Jun had eased Minghao down onto the bed so he was on his back, propped up against a pile of pillows that Minghao knew didn’t belong to him (he recognized both pillowcase patterns from Joshua and Seungcheol’s beds), and Jun had wrapped himself around Minghao’s good side. Now Jun pulled a pillow against Minghao’s left side to support his arm, not that it really mattered as his arm was strapped tight enough to his chest to keep it mostly still.
Jun adjusted himself so his legs curled around Minghao’s, then reached for Minghao’s left hand, rubbing his thumb into Minghao’s palm in a way that he knew always soothed him. A gentle sigh escaped Minghao. He was slowly but surely relaxing.
They didn’t talk, just laid there, Minghao deep breathing, closing his eyes and Jun holding him, offering encouragement in the form of physical affection, holding his hands, stroking his hair, brushing the inside of Minghao’s ankle with his leg. Everyone who knew Minghao knew he wasn’t huge on skinship - he’d tolerate it, but with Jun it was different. It was subtle and soft and supportive in ways that words never could be.
It felt like hours before Jun finally broke the silence - seemingly exactly when Minghao was ready for it. “What do you need, Hao? Do you want something to eat? Want to just sleep?” His voice was soft and patient. Minghao didn’t immediately respond, but Jun waited. He’d talk when he was ready.
“I’d like a shower,” Minghao finally said, hating even the idea of it. The last thing he wanted to do was move, but he felt gross and knew he’d feel better after he survived a shower.
Jun didn’t argue. He nodded into Minghao’s hair and carefully disentangled himself from him. “Now?”
“Yeah. Let’s get it over with.”
They didn’t talk other than to establish that a bath was a better idea. Jun whispered the odd instruction to him, tilt your head back, close your eyes, while he washed his hair, but otherwise they maintained comfortable silence.
“Is this yours?” Minghao asked as Jun helped him slide on an unfamiliar flannel button up, first onto his bad arm, then his healthy one.
“Jeonghan’s,” Jun said, coming around to face him to button the shirt up. “He dropped off some stuff for you just before you got home.”
Minghao smiled, feeling warmed by the gesture. “Did he leave any of his sparkly arm slings?”
“I’ll have to check,” Jun said. Minghao could hear the smile in his voice.
Jeonghan had been the first to text him as well, not that Minghao had opened any messages on his phone. He’d find a way to thank him later.
Jun helped him finish dressing and back into his ridiculous brace, patiently adjusting and triple checking each of the straps and clasps so it was as comfortable as possible before sitting him down on the counter to towel dry his hair. While a blowdryer might have been more efficient, Minghao was sensitive to heat, especially when he was already uncomfortable. All of this passed wordlessly between them, and Minghao wished he had the words to thank Jun.
Finally, having felt like he’d run a marathon (albeit a silent, slow paced one), Jun helped Minghao back into bed and arranged his pillows to support him in a way that would be comfortable.
“I know you didn’t ask, but I ordered you dinner. I’m sure you just want to sleep but please at last try to eat a bit.” Jun set a plastic bag filled with take out containers on the bedside table.
Minghao sighed, but nodded. He was terrible for not eating when he was stressed. It wasn’t that he would actively avoid eating, he just wouldn’t make an effort to do it which he knew especially in this case was counterproductive. He needed to eat to heal, not to mention taking heavy painkillers on an empty stomach was never a good idea.
Jun pulled a breakfast tray across Minghao’s lap, legs standing on either side of his body (also from Jeonghan, Jun informed him) and set the take out boxes open in front of him. Jun snapped a set of chopsticks apart and handed them to him. “Tea? Or water?”
“Tea, please.” Minghao said.
Jun nodded and headed to the kitchen.
Minghao poked around the take-out boxes. While he didn’t feel hungry, everything smelled good. He also didn’t fail to notice that everything Jun had ordered required only one hand to eat. The others might make fun of Jun for being pretty rather than intelligent, but his attention to small details was nearly unmatched when compared with the rest of their group (except perhaps Minghao himself).
Jun returned with two cups of tea, shaking his right hand out as he set them both down, swearing softly.
“Burn yourself?” Minghao asked through a mouthful of food. The half smile on his lips felt foreign.
“A little bit,” Jun half smiled back.
“You ok? Or should we just amputate now?”
Jun laughed, settling across from Minghao and pulling his legs up under him. The position made him look much smaller than he was. It was cute, Minghao thought to himself.
“Thanks for the food. Want some?” Minghao offered a piece of chicken in his chopsticks towards Jun. Jun wordlessly opened his mouth and accepted.
They continued like that, wordlessly, Minghao feeding both of them. It felt odd given that he was the one who was injured, but Jun knew him well, knew he’d hate the idea of needing to be fed. He had already needed so much help just showering and getting dressed. Jun had given him back an element of control that he’d lost when he’d hurt himself and Minghao had a feeling that he knew exactly what he was doing. It was beyond just thinking of easy-to-eat food.
“I feel so stupid,” Minghao said, setting his chopsticks down and relaxing a little more against the pillows. Jun was silent. He let Minghao think, speak his mind. “I should have been so much more careful. I got overconfident. Snowboarding isn’t safe at the best of times and in those conditions… I deserve what I’m feeling now.” He didn’t need to say it. He felt helpless. Like he’d made a stupid mistake, hurt himself, and now everything was out of his control.
“Remember that time Vernon sprained his ankle climbing out of his bed?”
Minghao couldn’t help but laugh. “Whose brilliant idea was it to put him on the top bunk anyway? With his long limbs he wasn’t used to? It was a recipe for disaster from the start.”
“My point is, you can be as careful as you want, but accidents and injuries happen.” Jun wasn’t condescending in the way he said it. He knew Minghao knew, it was simply a reminder of what he couldn't find a way to focus on, too busy beating himself up.
Minghao sighed. “I know. You’re right. It’s just shitty. Shitty timing.”
“It’s never going to be good timing,” Jun reminded him.
“I know. I’m just sulking.”
“I know you are. You’re allowed. And if I didn’t want to bear witness to it, I wouldn’t be here.”
Minghao smiled. “Thanks.” He knew he owed him so much more. Words would never be enough. But Jun would never demand anything in return.
Jun just nodded and sipped his tea. “How long do you have to wear the brace?”
“Six weeks maybe. I’m allowed to participate, just no dancing for a while.”
“I imagine you have Jeonghan to thank for that.”
“I have him to thank for a lot of things, I think. He’s kind of set a precedent hey? Not just for us, but for the industry.” Minghao reached for his own tea.
“His stubbornness really knows no limits. I’m not sure it's a good thing. No one would blame you if you took some time off. In fact, you know I’d encourage it.” Jun said, his voice more serious than it had been all night.
“Because you would take time off given the option.”
Jun nearly spat his tea out, choking and sputtering.
“You know I’m right,” Minghao laughed. Jun continued coughing.
It felt good to laugh, and nice to talk with Jun. There was nothing combative about it, not arguing, no scolding, just easy conversation between two best friends. Minghao felt like he could say anything, regardless of how stupid it was. Of course getting hurt wasn’t his fault, but that didn’t make him feel any less responsible. And Jun listened, teasing him here and there sure, but it wouldn’t be Jun if he didn’t.
“Want to sleep?” Jun offered, closing the containers in front of Minghao and setting them back in the plastic bag.
“I guess I should. Will you stay?” Minghao asked, eyes wide and vulnerable as he looked up to Jun.
“You thought you could get rid of me? Absolutely I’m staying. I can sleep on the floor though.” Jun pulled the tray off of Minghao, folded it up and set it aside.
“You can sleep up here. Just sleep on my good side. You sleep like the dead anyway.”
“I know I do. I’m more worried about me than you.” Jun smirked. “Kidding. You sure? You can kick me out anytime.”
They dragged themselves to the bathroom and brushed their teeth, Minghao waiting while Jun washed his face and prepared for bed. Once back in bed, Jun made sure each and every pillow was placed perfectly around Minghao, ensuring he was safe and comfortable before wrapping himself around him, arm around Minghao’s waist, legs tangled with his own.
“Sleep well. And let me know if you need anything.”
“Mm,” Minghao hummed.
Within minutes, Minghao’s breathing had evened out and after one of the longest days of his life, he was at rest.